Beta Reader?

So I finished my Idol entry up early this week. I had an idea I liked right away and went with it.

Anyone want to beta read for me? Usually I have Java pre-beta read it, but I figured I'd get a head start. I will warn you that my grammar and sentence structure is usually something that needs improved on. Common issues: I use formal words like "upon" every chance I get. I can't help it and need to have that beaten out of me because it rarely fits to write in the form of a faiy tale (maybe that's why I like writing fairy tales?).

I also tend to get tenses mixed up and switch them around without realizing it. Passive voice? I sometimes haz it too. Oh and because I took way too many formal writing classes that beat conjunctions out of me, sometimes I need those added back in (seems like an odd problem to have, blame high school advanced composition, though that seems to be the only thing I remember from that class).

So line by line feedback is always appreciated to help clean that pesky grammar stuff up (kidding, kidding. I am actually getting very serious about cleaning that stuff up and getting better with it).

That being said... anyone care to beta for me?

It's nonfiction and it's meant to be light and funny. No triggers unless you had a bad experience with farm animals or something.

I can't believe it's past midnight and I'm still awake. That likely won't last much longer so I may end up sending it over tomorrow. So no rush. As long as I have feedback by Sunday evening, all is well.

Thanks folks!