LJ Idol Season 8: Week 4; "What does narcissism have to do with me?"
The doctor had seen this image a hundred times already. The woman's natural golden hair cascaded down her shoulders in perfect ringlets while her exquisite body was adorned in a lavish couture gown by some designer or another. Her pouty lips drove many women to consider injections. Her perfect teeth made many dentists rich.
Vanessa Delacroix was the Hollywood "It" girl of the moment. The doctor was not the least bit surprised by the couple’s choice.
"We want our daughter to look like that." The mother said rather flippantly as if she were choosing paint colors for the nursery instead of delegating the life of the child they were about to create in his lab.
The husband nodded in agreement, his dark hair and eyes in direct contrast to the genetics of his future daughter. The mother had the same blonde hair and perfect smile. They obviously had the money to spend on good plastic surgery since she re-created the look flawlessly.
By now this was a standard procedure, and he had no doubt that he could re-create the image once more. They appeared nervous, as if he might turn them down... But why would he? They had the money, he would create a lizard human hybrid if they asked him to.
"Congratulations Mr. And Mrs. Blue,” he flashed his perfect made for TV doctor smile toward them as he slid the contract across the table for them to sign. "On your beautiful new baby girl.”
Vanessa’s DNA was proving to be a very wise investment for the young doctor.
Trinity watched the sullen girl climb aboard the train and sit directly across from her, eyes on the floor. The girl looked like a younger version of her mommy, and an older version of herself. Except her hair had been hacked off rather carelessly and she had mascara running down her cheeks.
She nudged her mom gently and pointed at the girl, “Mommy, why did that girl chop of her hair like that? She’s so pretty.”
“Trinity Blue! Have some manners and don’t point at people like that!” Her mom slapped her hand down to stop her from pointing. Her mom was now staring at the girl too though.
The little girl had tried to whisper her question, but apparently her little voice could still be heard across the aisle. The sad girl looked at Trinity and stared deep into her eyes. They had the very same eyes as if they could be sisters. Trinity’s own sister looked nothing like her since the newest trend in babies was dark hair and olive colored skin, but Trinity watched the sad girl with interest. It was as if she were looking at an older version of herself. It wasn’t the first time, but it was the first time she ever saw someone so sad.
"Such a shame she chopped off all her hair, she’s the best look-a-like I’ve ever seen.” One of the other passengers didn’t have a mother to scold them for talking about the girl just a few feet away from them. The man next to the gossiping woman merely nodded his head in agreement.
The distressed girl had likely heard the comment, but she never looked away from the little girl and her mother. Trinity’s own mom looked like an older version of the girl in front of them, but they weren’t the only ones. At least 10 or 15 other girls on the train had the same blonde hair and upturned nose like they were all identical twins at different stages in their life.
Trinity’s mother took her hand as they got off the train, but Trinity turned her head around to gaze at the girl one last time before stepping off.
She didn’t know what it was about the girl, but something wasn’t right about her. Why was she so sad? And why did she stand out amongst all the other perfect blonde hair girls on that train?
"Nessie honey..."
She heard her mother talking and tried to ignore her, pretending to be asleep instead. Her arms were gently tied down to the bed, probably to protect her from herself. She could hear the buzzing of machines, the people walking briskly down the hall to get to whatever emergency was going on at the moment.
"Sweetheart, everything will be okay now... You're safe here.”
Safe? She would never be safe again as long as she was alive. She was a danger to herself and she knew it. The pain medicine was starting to wear off and she could feel the stitches in her face. She wondered how many they had to use to re-attach everything she had cut off.
Her mom kept trying to straighten all the wrinkles out of her blanket, which drove the girl absolutely bonkers. She wished her hands weren't tied down so she could slap her mom’s hands away.
"STOP it!”
So much for pretending to be asleep. Her mom jumped and stared at her with a "Whatever have I done look?” plastered across her face.
"Knock, knock!” A cheerful voice interrupted them. A man, presumably her doctor, stepped into the room with a cheerful smirk. She wondered how often he had to perfect that smile in order to make it fool people like her mom, who looked at the man as if he held all the answers.
"I have wonderful news for you, young lady.” He tried to look excited, but Nessie could tell that he really didn’t care. She hardly listened to him as he went on and on about the latest medical technology available to her that would have her as good as new in no time.
"You will be flashing that perfect smile on magazine covers as early as next month if I have my way!”
Her mom threw her hands together in glee. She looked wide eyed at her daughter, not sure if she could believe it was possible considering the state she was in at this very moment.
"You hear that, sweetie? You’ll be pretty again in no time!”
The girl just stared straight ahead, not sure of what to say. Maybe a "thank you” would have been better than nothing, but she wasn’t thankful. She was far from thankful.
She couldn't even get on a train without seeing her face on every woman and female child there. Grown women shelled out big bucks on plastic surgery to look like her, and they paid even more money for their daughters to have her high cheek bones and nose. It was like she had populated the world with her children, like her DNA was everywhere. It was stolen from her somehow, and if she knew who did it... Well it would be them in this hospital bed instead of her.
She saw her face, her body everywhere. No one even recognized her for being her, they assumed she was just a really good fake. They complimented her on her choice of plastic surgeons when this was her real nose, her real cheek bones. This was her face damn it! And they stole that from her.
The doctor excused himself, obviously disappointed in the girls lack of excitement at what he had to say. Her mom went around, fluffing her pillows while humming a happy song under breath.
Her mother thought that all would be good in the world now that she knew her beautiful daughter could be fixed. No one stopped to ask her why she had done it. Nobody cared about how ugly she felt on the inside. All that mattered was that her skin would soon be glowing and flawless once more. She would be re-created into a perfect replica of herself just like those girls and women out there had done. She would be one of them now. Her mom didn't want to hear about all that though. Her superstar would be back in the limelight within weeks and that's what her mother wanted to hear.
She had hoped to scar herself, to set herself apart from the others and give herself a face that was truly her own. She would rather be disfigured than to see her face everywhere she went. Maybe she had gone a little too far, slashed herself up a little too much. When her mom found her, she was a bloody mess with pieces of flesh missing or barely hanging on. Nessie fought, she didn't want help... But the EMT's were able to overcome her. She felt a needle prick and everything went dark. The next thing she knew she was in this hospital room, tied down to the bed and surrounded by fancy machinery trying to fix her from the outside.
No, she wasn’t thankful. In that moment, Vanessa Delacroix only felt regret... Regret that she hadn't killed herself instead.
She promised herself that she wouldn't make that mistake again.