LJ Idol Season 7; Week 21: Playing The Odds
I would like to say that I wasn’t hiding, but I think subconsciously I was on the wrong side of the pole for a reason. That reason for my accidental hiding? I was absolutely terrified.
That morning, I had boarded a plane for possibly the craziest adventure of my life. I couldn’t sleep the night before, and I wasn’t even able to sleep on the plane. I was ecstatic and terrified at the same time. My mind and body couldn’t make up it’s mind how to feel. Was it really happening?
It was. It was very real and it was happening. Months of non-stop texting and phone calls that went late into the night all led up to this point. We had talked about all kinds of things we would do when we saw each other. Everything from kisses to...well things we probably shouldn’t discuss here. I told him that we would both be too shy even for a kiss, and that while I’d like to think it would be like a movie where we run into each others arms and kiss each other deeply while everyone at the airport cheers, I figured it would be more chaste and friendly at first. He agreed, but I know that we both would have such an introduction if our shyness wasn’t a factor.
However, I didn’t include hiding behind a pole so that he would have to search for me in my fantasy. That was an accident, mainly because of my Aspie tendency to hide when I am nervous or shy. Oh and because my legs felt too weak to hold myself up. He finally texted me, letting me know that he had made it through the horrible California traffic and was there to claim me at last.
“I’m here...where are you?”
My tummy did some crazy gymnastic move I can’t even begin to describe.
“I’m between the women’s bathroom and the rental car booths.”
My phone buzzed to let me know that he’s responded.
“But I was just there...hmmm...”
My heart skipped a beat, the knots in my stomach started tightening even more, minutes seemed to move like hours (as they had been doing all day)...I started to respond, but didn’t know what to say...
I didn’t have to say anything though. Before I knew it, I saw him walking toward me with a big smile on his face. He didn’t look nervous at all! Though later he would tell me he was dying of nervousness on the inside, he just managed to play it off really well since I know I must have looked like a scared, lost child at this point.
I was in shock. After being 2,000 miles away for months, I couldn’t believe that I was actually looking at their face in real life and not on a computer screen. He was right there in front of me. All those nights that I wanted to cuddle him and kiss him and now I could. All those nights I wanted too...well you get the picture.
I was right. We were both too shy even for a friendly kiss at first. We managed to hug right away though. We were both a little shaky and unsure of what to say in that moment, so we settled on a simple “Hi” since it seemed fitting for the moment. We both had to comprehend what was going on in that very moment, it all seemed so strange.
If you had told me even a month before the trip that I would be going to Southern California and that I would get to meet him, I wouldn’t have believed it for a second. If you had told me that I would be living in Southern California and spending every weekend with him? I’d have laughed in your face at the ridiculous notion. It really happened so fast. One minute, I wondered if we would ever get to see each other...and the next, I am flying out for a potentially life changing job that would put me right in his back yard permanently.
At the beginning, we were just friends. Friends who talked so much that people started asking me about the guy on Facebook who flirts with me. My mom always knew who was texting me because the smile on my face as I typed out my response. Many people said it was obvious there was more there even before I was ready to admit it myself. Somewhere along the line, our “like” turned to “adore” and that managed to transform itself into the love we have today. It was nothing I’d have planned out for myself given the chance. I was legally married (though separated) and 2,000 miles away...love seemed highly impractical and just outright crazy for our situation.
I guess there is always something a little crazy about falling in love though. You really can’t control how it all plays out. I didn’t want to start a new relationship so soon, much less with someone so far away. I joined
therealljidol on a whim, mainly to give myself a reason to wake up every day since I was sinking into the dark abyss of depression over the current direction of my life. I needed something to keep my mind off things, just a simple distraction for a bit. I had no idea the impact it would have on my life. The Universe works in mysterious ways though...and you can’t always control who you fall in love, or when it will happen. It just happens and you either accept it or you don’t. I couldn’t pass up something that felt so amazing and wonderful, so I decided to take my chances and hope for the best.
Things worked out far better than I thought. I had applied for jobs all over the country, but I just happened to get a call from one in Southern California. The first real job lead I had in years and it happened to be right in his neck of the woods? It all seemed a little too good to be true...so I didn’t get my hopes up as I had several phone interviews here and there. The best I could hope for it was a free trip out to Cali for an interview, but the idea of getting the job didn’t even register as a possibility. I thought I might get a few days with him out of it...but actually moving there? I had no idea that it could actually happen.
One evening, as we were playing a little game of trying to determine what the other person felt, he let it slip that he loved me. I said “Because you looooooves me?” (a phrase we threw back and forth playfully at the time), expecting him to give me another wise crack response, but instead, his response was a simple “Obviously :) “
I was surprised, though I secretly had hoped it might be the case for a little while, I was just too scared to actually say it myself. Though I felt it...I really did love him too, even if I never thought it was possible to fall in love without ever meeting face-to-face before. I knew what I felt for him and it was nothing short of love. I wanted to say it back right then and there, and probably should have. However, I told him that I wanted to save it for a phone call, to actually say the words for the first time instead of typing them out. Sappy and silly, I know. I told him that I would rather tell him in person, but I didn’t think that would be likely, so a phone call would have to do. He said he understood and that we would talk soon.
The next day, I got the call back from the company I was interviewing with. I was going to Southern California for a real interview. They were flying me out the following weekend even, so I had days to prepare myself for our first meeting. He called me shortly after I texted him the news. We made arrangements for him to pick me up at the airport, and I could tell he was just as nervous as I was. The rest is pretty much history...
Well, besides the fact that we had hung up the phone without uttering the “magic” phrase. I was leaving the mall giddy as a schoolgirl already when my phone rang again.
“I forgot to tell you something earlier...”
I started to worry. What could it be?
“What is it?”
“I love you.”
I didn’t even have to think twice about it.
“I love you too”
A week later, we were in each others arms and that night, I got to sleep next to him, snuggled up as I often imagined while laying in bed all alone in Missouri. We played Scrabble in real life and not online for a change. He took me to the beach, we ate corn dogs and funnel cake and rode the Ferris Wheel as he gripped my had tightly out of fear (he’s afraid of heights). It was absolutely perfect. We discovered that besides my shyness and my awkwardness, we managed to get along just as we had through our virtual connections. Our conversations flowed naturally and effortlessly, we never had awkward silences or anything like that. We clicked automatically from the first moment we met one another.
When he dropped me off at the airport, we really weren’t sure we would see each other again. I really thought the odds weren’t good about me moving out there, it all just seemed too crazy to really happen. I didn’t want to leave him after only a few short days together...
That was almost nine months ago, and most of you know that I am here in Southern California. I got the job. Not only did I get to see him again, our second meeting in real life was when I was picking him up from the airport in St. Louis for my grand move across the country. Unlike me, he didn’t hide behind any poles.
We still talk non-stop via text (I can assure you that I am texting him even as I write this), and while we chit chat in the Green Room (sometimes while sitting next to each other at my kitchen table). However, unlike before, I am no longer confined to only telling him that I love him through the use of technology. I can now look into his eyes and see him smile as I tell him how much I love him. Eight months later and he still seems too good to be true.
We have often asked ourselves “What are the odds...” when we look back on the last year. All the pieces landed perfectly, the Universe aligned just right to make all this possible. There isn’t a day that goes by that I am not thankful that the odds worked in our favor on this one. I never could have imagined how my life would change from a simple little act such as signing up fortherealljidol, but here I am...and trust me, I couldn’t be happier how it all worked out either.
Of course, I am talking about my wonderful intersection partner,
java_fiend. You can read his side of the Idol love story here
That morning, I had boarded a plane for possibly the craziest adventure of my life. I couldn’t sleep the night before, and I wasn’t even able to sleep on the plane. I was ecstatic and terrified at the same time. My mind and body couldn’t make up it’s mind how to feel. Was it really happening?
It was. It was very real and it was happening. Months of non-stop texting and phone calls that went late into the night all led up to this point. We had talked about all kinds of things we would do when we saw each other. Everything from kisses to...well things we probably shouldn’t discuss here. I told him that we would both be too shy even for a kiss, and that while I’d like to think it would be like a movie where we run into each others arms and kiss each other deeply while everyone at the airport cheers, I figured it would be more chaste and friendly at first. He agreed, but I know that we both would have such an introduction if our shyness wasn’t a factor.
However, I didn’t include hiding behind a pole so that he would have to search for me in my fantasy. That was an accident, mainly because of my Aspie tendency to hide when I am nervous or shy. Oh and because my legs felt too weak to hold myself up. He finally texted me, letting me know that he had made it through the horrible California traffic and was there to claim me at last.
“I’m here...where are you?”
My tummy did some crazy gymnastic move I can’t even begin to describe.
“I’m between the women’s bathroom and the rental car booths.”
My phone buzzed to let me know that he’s responded.
“But I was just there...hmmm...”
My heart skipped a beat, the knots in my stomach started tightening even more, minutes seemed to move like hours (as they had been doing all day)...I started to respond, but didn’t know what to say...
I didn’t have to say anything though. Before I knew it, I saw him walking toward me with a big smile on his face. He didn’t look nervous at all! Though later he would tell me he was dying of nervousness on the inside, he just managed to play it off really well since I know I must have looked like a scared, lost child at this point.
I was in shock. After being 2,000 miles away for months, I couldn’t believe that I was actually looking at their face in real life and not on a computer screen. He was right there in front of me. All those nights that I wanted to cuddle him and kiss him and now I could. All those nights I wanted too...well you get the picture.
I was right. We were both too shy even for a friendly kiss at first. We managed to hug right away though. We were both a little shaky and unsure of what to say in that moment, so we settled on a simple “Hi” since it seemed fitting for the moment. We both had to comprehend what was going on in that very moment, it all seemed so strange.
If you had told me even a month before the trip that I would be going to Southern California and that I would get to meet him, I wouldn’t have believed it for a second. If you had told me that I would be living in Southern California and spending every weekend with him? I’d have laughed in your face at the ridiculous notion. It really happened so fast. One minute, I wondered if we would ever get to see each other...and the next, I am flying out for a potentially life changing job that would put me right in his back yard permanently.
At the beginning, we were just friends. Friends who talked so much that people started asking me about the guy on Facebook who flirts with me. My mom always knew who was texting me because the smile on my face as I typed out my response. Many people said it was obvious there was more there even before I was ready to admit it myself. Somewhere along the line, our “like” turned to “adore” and that managed to transform itself into the love we have today. It was nothing I’d have planned out for myself given the chance. I was legally married (though separated) and 2,000 miles away...love seemed highly impractical and just outright crazy for our situation.
I guess there is always something a little crazy about falling in love though. You really can’t control how it all plays out. I didn’t want to start a new relationship so soon, much less with someone so far away. I joined
therealljidol on a whim, mainly to give myself a reason to wake up every day since I was sinking into the dark abyss of depression over the current direction of my life. I needed something to keep my mind off things, just a simple distraction for a bit. I had no idea the impact it would have on my life. The Universe works in mysterious ways though...and you can’t always control who you fall in love, or when it will happen. It just happens and you either accept it or you don’t. I couldn’t pass up something that felt so amazing and wonderful, so I decided to take my chances and hope for the best. Things worked out far better than I thought. I had applied for jobs all over the country, but I just happened to get a call from one in Southern California. The first real job lead I had in years and it happened to be right in his neck of the woods? It all seemed a little too good to be true...so I didn’t get my hopes up as I had several phone interviews here and there. The best I could hope for it was a free trip out to Cali for an interview, but the idea of getting the job didn’t even register as a possibility. I thought I might get a few days with him out of it...but actually moving there? I had no idea that it could actually happen.
One evening, as we were playing a little game of trying to determine what the other person felt, he let it slip that he loved me. I said “Because you looooooves me?” (a phrase we threw back and forth playfully at the time), expecting him to give me another wise crack response, but instead, his response was a simple “Obviously :) “
I was surprised, though I secretly had hoped it might be the case for a little while, I was just too scared to actually say it myself. Though I felt it...I really did love him too, even if I never thought it was possible to fall in love without ever meeting face-to-face before. I knew what I felt for him and it was nothing short of love. I wanted to say it back right then and there, and probably should have. However, I told him that I wanted to save it for a phone call, to actually say the words for the first time instead of typing them out. Sappy and silly, I know. I told him that I would rather tell him in person, but I didn’t think that would be likely, so a phone call would have to do. He said he understood and that we would talk soon.
The next day, I got the call back from the company I was interviewing with. I was going to Southern California for a real interview. They were flying me out the following weekend even, so I had days to prepare myself for our first meeting. He called me shortly after I texted him the news. We made arrangements for him to pick me up at the airport, and I could tell he was just as nervous as I was. The rest is pretty much history...
Well, besides the fact that we had hung up the phone without uttering the “magic” phrase. I was leaving the mall giddy as a schoolgirl already when my phone rang again.
“I forgot to tell you something earlier...”
I started to worry. What could it be?
“What is it?”
“I love you.”
I didn’t even have to think twice about it.
“I love you too”
A week later, we were in each others arms and that night, I got to sleep next to him, snuggled up as I often imagined while laying in bed all alone in Missouri. We played Scrabble in real life and not online for a change. He took me to the beach, we ate corn dogs and funnel cake and rode the Ferris Wheel as he gripped my had tightly out of fear (he’s afraid of heights). It was absolutely perfect. We discovered that besides my shyness and my awkwardness, we managed to get along just as we had through our virtual connections. Our conversations flowed naturally and effortlessly, we never had awkward silences or anything like that. We clicked automatically from the first moment we met one another.
When he dropped me off at the airport, we really weren’t sure we would see each other again. I really thought the odds weren’t good about me moving out there, it all just seemed too crazy to really happen. I didn’t want to leave him after only a few short days together...
That was almost nine months ago, and most of you know that I am here in Southern California. I got the job. Not only did I get to see him again, our second meeting in real life was when I was picking him up from the airport in St. Louis for my grand move across the country. Unlike me, he didn’t hide behind any poles.
We still talk non-stop via text (I can assure you that I am texting him even as I write this), and while we chit chat in the Green Room (sometimes while sitting next to each other at my kitchen table). However, unlike before, I am no longer confined to only telling him that I love him through the use of technology. I can now look into his eyes and see him smile as I tell him how much I love him. Eight months later and he still seems too good to be true.
We have often asked ourselves “What are the odds...” when we look back on the last year. All the pieces landed perfectly, the Universe aligned just right to make all this possible. There isn’t a day that goes by that I am not thankful that the odds worked in our favor on this one. I never could have imagined how my life would change from a simple little act such as signing up for
therealljidol, but here I am...and trust me, I couldn’t be happier how it all worked out either. Of course, I am talking about my wonderful intersection partner,
java_fiend. You can read his side of the Idol love story here