LJ Idol: week 28: Salt of the Earth

I remember standing on the snow white beach, looking at the large expanse of the Gulf of Mexico in front of me. I honestly thought I'd be disappointed because I assumed all the photos I had ever seen had been photoshopped to make it look amazing. However, the image I saw before me was real. The sand between my toes was pure white, the water crystal clear and turquoise. It was better than any photograph I'd seen before.

Until recently, I had a deep fear of water. Drowning was my absolute worst nightmare. I didnt know how to swim most of my life because of my fear, but by this point, I could swim a little bit at least. If not, the events that happened may have been tragic instead of humorous.

I was on my honeymoon in Cancun, Mexico. I loved running into the waves. I was not content with merely watching them crash into the shore, I had to rush into the tumbling waves and let them crash into me. Growing up in the Midwest meant the beach was new territory for me. Everything about it was exciting. I was fascinated by every little thing.

I had seen the beaches in Florida once before, but these waves were completely wild and rough. Unlike anything I had seen before. They were violent and could easily knock me down. That was part of the thrill though. I stayed close to the shore and played for hours.

About 200 feet from the shore, you could see where the sand had built up to where you could stand. A few other people were out there, crashing into the waves and it looked like fun. So I made the journey out there, even as the water got rather deep around it. I was a bit nervous, but I had my new husband coaxing me out, telling me it would be fine. He actually helped carry me over the places I couldn't stand because I was so freaked out about the deep water still.

The journey was worth it though. I stood out there and felt truly alive. It was an intense experience to be away from the shore like that. I relaxed and started playing in the water. The waves would beat into me, moving me several feet out at a time to which I'd quickly walk forward again before the next wave crashed into my body, sending me backwards once again.

But apparently each wave pushed me further away than I had thought and I was not making up the distance very well. Several waves barrelled into me one after another, which caused me to laugh in excitement as I went under. My excitement quickly turned to panic as I realized the water was well over my head. Another wave hit, hurling me deeper into the water as I fought to breathe only to fill my mouth with salt water.

My fear of water came rushing back upon me. I couldn't see above water to know if anyone even noticed my struggle. I tried to scream for James but only sucked in more water as the waves kept crashing into my body.

I did what I could. I tried holding my breath and doggy paddle in the water just to keep from going under. I was merely trying to keep calm until I could touch bottom or until someone noticed I was in trouble.

I was thrown around. I felt helpless to do much but wait and see where the waves would spit me out when they were finished with the beating. I had just came to the conclusion that I was going to die in the worst way imaginable for me. I finally figured my worst fear was coming true...

But then my leg hit something. Then my knee. I was able to get on my hands and knees on the sand! I crawled until my head was above the water and I stood up with the help of James who had swam out to my rescue.

As soon as I stood up, I started strangling from all the salt water I swallowed. I couldn't breathe in. Here I was, standing out of the water and I still felt like I was suffocating to death. I freaked out while everyone was staring at me as I tried to take in some air and only managed to choke.

The feeling passed quickly, relief set in. I could breathe at last!

James went to say something, I figured it would be relief for him as well. But no, his first words to me were a whisper "check your swimsuit top"

I looked down in slow motion, almost afraid to look because I just knew what I was going to see before I even looked down.

My bikini top failed me in my fight for survival. My breasts were exposed to everyone who had watched my plight. There was nothing left to the imagination. The entire beach was watching my every move as I walked out of the water and was choking, all while my D-cups were hanging out for the world to see.

I contemplated going back into the water at that point.

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