LJ Idol: Topic Sexual Ethics. Placed behind cut because of the uncomfortable nature of the entry.

I liked Holly the moment I saw her. Of course, that was only from the photos she posted on her Facebook profile, but that was enough. She is everything I have always wanted in a girl. She has a sweet smile and the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. She had a young face and I knew she couldn’t be a day over 16, but that didn’t matter much to me.

She looked sincere and sweet. I have yet to find that in a woman my own age. They are so full of drama or only care about a man with a lot of money, something I didn’t have. I was tired of being turned down and wanted a girl to be absolutely crazy about me just once in my life. Besides, none of the women my age had that naivety that Holly portrayed. Even as she tried to look grown up in her photos, she was innocent and you could see that in her eyes. The idea of being her first experience turned me on more than anything in my entire life.

I worked for months to get her into my bed. I did the whole gig. I messaged her online, and talked to her on the phone first. When I first heard her voice, I thought it sounded like the voice of an angel and could not wait to see her for the first time. I agreed to meet up for dinner at a local burger place for our first meeting. I listened to her talk about her high school friends and turmoil’s of being a teenager. I really didn’t care much for all that, but it was worth it. She was so hot and I just sat there and dreamt about sliding my hand up her skirt and touching parts of her that had never been touched by any other man before.

I really cannot believe how easy it was to woo her. Open a door or two, show up on time and they think you are prince charming or something. It makes my job of getting them into bed much easier. Considering this is my first teen girl (I am not a child predator after all), I never realized just how easy this would be. She seemed to think the world of me. I found her Livejournal
and created a fake name so she would not know it was me. Once I read what she wrote, I realized it was only a matter of time before this girl would be in my bed.

Now it finally came down to the moment I had been waiting for. She was on my bed, wearing nothing but a lacey bra and panties. We had been making out and she happily removed her clothes without any prompting from me. She lifted the sundress off, albeit sort of awkwardly, but she managed to get it off over her head and throw it down on the floor. Her red hair brushed her shoulders and brought out the green in her eyes. She looked amazing.

She wanted this as much as I did. That made it alright somehow. She was the one ready and willing; I wasn’t forcing her to do anything she didn’t want to do. In one of our late night conversations, she told me how she had saved her virginity for just the right person, and from reading her Livejournal, I knew that she wanted this just as badly as I did. She had this all planned out before we got to this point. She told me she went shopping with her best friend for just the right lingerie and everything to make this night perfect.

Her seductive smile made the bulge in my boxers even more obvious. She started to unhook her bra and I felt a twinge of nervousness in my stomach. I was going to do this. I really was going to have sex with this little girl.

Did I say little girl? That sounded very wrong to me. After all, she was 16, only 12 years younger than me. 12 years younger isn't that bad. She wasn’t a little girl; She was just a young woman who had never experienced a man before. Yeah, that is exactly what it was, 16 isn't that young after all. She could make her own decisions just like a grown woman could.
She started to slide her panties off, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her face. Her beautiful, young face. She had light freckles that spread out over her nose and cheeks, and a bit over her chest and shoulders. My baby sister, Lauren, had freckles on her face like that. I wonder if she also had freckles on her chest like that?

At that thought, a wave of nausea came over me and I had to look away.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

I can do this. I really can do this. Look at her, she really wants this. She really wants to be with me. She is such a great girl.

I bet her and my sister would be friends. They are around the same age and both very sweet.

I am going to be sick. The bulge in my boxers is gone now, nowhere to be found and not coming back any time soon.

She reached for my hand, but I couldn’t look at her anymore or I was going to get sick all over her and the bed . I got as far away from her as I could and put my face in my hands. So sweet, so innocent…and ready to do whatever I asked her to do.

I picked up her sundress and threw it at her.

“Get dressed, now.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

Even without looking at her; I couldn’t get the image of that little girl wearing her Victoria Secret bra and panty set out of my head, and it wasn’t an image I wanted to see anymore. She tried so hard to be all grown up for me; she probably even thought she was all grown up. But she wasn’t. She was still a little girl, someone’s little girl, someone’s baby sister even.

“Mark, please say something!”

I heard the despair in her voice and I could tell she was crying now. Crying like the little girl that she was. I couldn’t take any more of this. I tried to remain calm, but it was hard. I was on the verge of throwing up just thinking about what I was about to do.
“You need to leave.”

She tried to ask me why, but I wouldn’t answer. I just repeated that she needed to get out. I tried to be calm, but I was on the verge of throwing up everywhere and the longer she was in my bedroom, the worse I felt.

I heard her get off the bed and leave the room eventually. I heard the front door slam as she left. I was never so relieved in my entire life and went straight to my computer and deleted her from every online community I was in. On second thought, I deleted my account off every online community I was in and called my sister. She didn’t answer, so I left a voice mail message telling her that I loved her and I hope that whatever she was doing, that she was fine. I barely made it to the bathroom before I started throwing up.



(It was partner week in LJ Idol again amd my partner this week was wonderful! I loved working with creature_girl08! Her entry can be found here
This entry was difficult to write and I could relate to Holly in some ways, as I imagine many girls can. Thank you for reading.)