You Know You're From South Dakota When... |
During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids. (We don't have cattle.) The local gas station sells live bait. (No.) You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store. (We buy everything at the grocery store.) You know the code names for everyone on the CB. (Wtf is a CB?) You'll skip your cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season. (I don't hunt.) You don't clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer. (eww...) It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town. (I wish.) You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart. (Yes.) You consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local Wal-Mart. (What local Wal-Mart? Lmao. I know what a mall is. Pfft.) The first, and perhaps only celebrity you've ever met is Captain 11. (Who is Captain 11? I met a Celeb in Alaska...but I don't remember who. I was 6.) Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting on I-90 for the "follow me" car to come back during road construction. (Ha. No.) "Vacation" means stopping off at Wall Drug for Friday night dinner and a drive through the Badlands early Saturday morning, with the rest of the weekend driving through the Black Hills before heading home for Sunday night chores. (Dude. I live in the Black Hills. That is no vacation.) Your school classes were canceled because of cold. And cold means 10 below zero. (Ha. Whatever. It has to snow 5 feet before school gets canceled.) You know not only 'what' but 'where' Sturgis is. And, your first big trip in life was to see Mt. Rushmore and visit the Flintstone's Bedrock City in Custer. (I know what and where Sturgis is, but my first big trip was going from Alaska to South Dakota. I live 18 miles from Mt. Rushmore, and 5 blocks from Flintstones.) A big shopping trip is going to Sioux Falls - Empire Mall. Minneapolis, if you are really living. (Ahaha. I hate shopping. I don't do big shopping trips.) You know all 4 seasons: Almost winter, winter, HOT HOT HOT, and winter again. (Sadly, yes. It is sometimes nice, though.) There is a McDonald's in every town with a population of 1,000 or more. Over 1,000, there is a McDonald's on each end of town. (My town has 1,800 people, and we don't have a McDonald's. You bloody liar.) Eight-foot tall snow piles divide the lane down the middle of Main Street from November through March. (More like 5-foot tall, and March-April.) Pop is a Coke and soda involves ice cream and root beer. (No. You're stupid. Pop and soda is the same thing to me.) You plug your car in at night, but it's not to charge the batteries. (Uh, what?) You could always count on the local truck stop or The Happy Chef for the best breakfast in town. (Wtf? No. Sick. We don't have a truck stop or a Happy Chef thing.) Aside from pheasants, mosquitos are the state bird. (There actually aren't many mosquitos here...) Menards on any weekend is busier than the toy stores at Christmas (We don't have a Menards.) Praire dogs outnumber people 10 to 1 (Yep. And they're cute, so it's okay.) |
This has to be the most pathetic thing I have ever come across. I am a civilized person, thank you.
And now you all know where I live. Dun-dun.