IRC Script?

I've been searching like crazy for a script that will check to see who's in a IRC channel when the page is loaded. (It's for the start page of a forum.) The only thing I've been able to find is the example in SmartIRC, which won't work no matter how much I play with it.

I don't want to run a full bot or anything. All I need is a short script that will connect, get the info, and quit.

Any ideas?

Thanks.