Phoenix's World

UlquiHime Smut: All I Want

2011-11-29T19:01:56Z

Name: All I Want
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 5 119
Summary: Smutty AU that begins in a library ... There's nothing more I can add to that really. Oh, there's a BJ and On-Top Hime ... Those are always good, right?
Notes: My entry for the smut-fest over at ulori_erotica

~X~

Unbearable. That was one immensely appropriate word at that moment in time. Others included; Frustrating (in more ways than one), infuriating, vexing, distracting, confusing, bewildering, and – always a good one – downright annoying.

Orihime pushed a book back in its intended place with more force than was strictly necessary. If her work partner noticed, he chose to ignore it.

She had come to work at the library several months ago - Orihime wasn’t entirely sure why she had decided to apply, considering she’d meant to find a job as a waitress, but something about the two-story, ceiling to floor library had appealed to her. Two days later, she’d been called to say that they needed help as soon as possible, and Orihime had been there ever since.

For the most part, she enjoyed it. It was quiet, the staff were friendly (Well, for the most part. The owner creeped her out a little bit, but since he mostly kept to himself … Orihime didn’t dwell on it much.) and the hours were lenient enough that she was also able to work part time in a small café ten minutes down the road.

The only thing that was frustrating her was Ulquiorra – Orihime paused in re-stocking the shelves to shoot a glare over her shoulder at his back. She’d been attracted to him the very instant she’d laid eyes on him, and with those luminous green eyes and that thick, raven hair framing an unnaturally pale face, who could really blame her?

Rangiku had been quick to warn her that he was notorious for being blunt to the point of cruelty, though, and to tell her that he never associated himself with the other workers. The busty-blonde theorised that, if it weren’t for the fact that he was fantastic at keeping the database up to date, and able to fix the computers when they broke (Something Orihime came to realise only happened when Rangiku was put on the Computer-shift) and that he practically never took a day off, Aizen would have fired him ages ago.

Within her first week though, Orihime had already begun to question Rangiku’s analysis of Ulquiorra. She came to realise that, while he certainly was blunt, he never seemed to mean to be rude - He just told the truth in a way that tended to come across that way. This was proven to Orihime the first time they’d spoken.

“You shouldn’t stretch yourself like that, Woman,” he’d scolded, a frown on his face as he noticed Orihime stretching up on her tip-toes to try and slide a book out of the top shelf, her fingertips scrabbling to try and find purchase on the lowest part of its spine. “Not only are you likely to hurt yourself, it would be far more efficient to simply find the stool and be done with it.”

Orihime had blinked at him with surprise for a moment before she’d burst into laughter. At the sound, Ulquiorra’s frown deepened, and a single eyebrow arched questioningly before he shook his head and returned to whatever task he’d been in the middle of.

From that day on, Orihime had made a point to greet Ulquiorra of a morning. The first time she’d done so, Neliel had frantically tried to sign to Orihime to stop, only to have her jaw fall open with surprise as Ulquiorra nodded his head in acknowledgment. Later that day, Orihime found out that anyone who had tried to say good morning to Ulquiorra before, especially before he’d had his coffee, had been on the receiving end of a glare so intense it actually made some people’s skin crawl. At the time, Orihime hadn’t understood why she’d gone home that night with a beaming smile on her face.

It wasn’t until she repeatedly caught herself staring at him when she thought that no one was looking that Orihime started to question the way that she watched him, question the way that she inexplicably started to look forward to work at the library, the way that she started to take care with the way that she dressed, or the way that she did her hair of a morning. No, she didn’t think to look into the habit until he caught her staring one time and butterflies had instantly burst to life at the look – At the way that he seemed to stare directly into her soul despite the fact that he was up on the second floor of the library while she was sitting at the reception desk. It was in that moment Orihime realised that, somehow, she had fallen in love with the green eyed man. Or, at the very least, in lust with him.

Despite the realisation, Orihime had intended to ignore the feeling completely – It wasn’t appropriate to develop feelings for a workmate. If she ignored it, it would surely go away - At least, that had been her intention until a few nights ago.

The night of Rangiku’s birthday, they had all gone out after work to celebrate. Hours and hours (And bottles and bottles of alcohol) later, Rangiku had sidled up to Orihime and announced in a stage whisper, “He is always looking at you, you know. He doesn’t seem to realise he does it – But everyone’s noticed. Everyone except you darl.”

Naturally enough, Orihime had blushed at the words and asked “Who?”. She hadn’t expected Rangiku to tilt her head inconspicuously to the side, and when Orihime’s gaze followed the direction, she found Ulquiorra’s eyes fixed on her. He’d held her gaze for a few seconds, before he looked elsewhere with what seemed to be a concentrated effort, if the sudden tightness of his lips were any indication.

Narrowing her eyes slightly, and gathering up her courage, Orihime had thrust her drink at Rangiku before she stormed over to Ulquiorra. With determination, she’d set herself on the pillow beside him and said, rather anticlimactically, “Hi.”

As she thought about it now, Orihime hit her head against the shelving softly. Of all the things she could have said to open up a conversation with him, she couldn’t have thought of something better than Hi?

It had been enough though, because an hour or so later, she and Ulquiorra had been engrossed in a debate about the relevance of fairy tales in children’s lives – Orihime was adamant that they were a necessity because they encouraged the imagination of a child, encouraged them to dream of Prince Charming’s and epic battles with witches. Ulquiorra, on the other hand, thought that they simply set a child up for a lifetime of disappointment. How he came to that conclusion, Orihime still couldn’t understand, but he seemed equally perplexed about Orihime’s opinion on the matter.

Shortly afterwards, she found out that Ulquiorra knew more about her life than she would have ever guessed, all things considered. She couldn’t even recall how they’d got on to the topic, she could only remember the blush that had spread across her cheeks as Ulquiorra told her, “Your full name is Inoue Orihime, age twenty-four. You studied to work in a childcare centre, and moved here as soon as you finished your course. Your favourite food is honey and red bean paste on bread, your favourite colour is lilac, and your dream is to own your own daycare centre.”

Pulling the final book from the trolley to return to the shelves, Orihime blushed as she considered how much Ulquiorra knew about her, while she knew so little about him. Which brought her right back to feeling frustrated – How was it that he knew so much about her anyway? And why did he remember it all? She didn’t think she was that interesting. Not only that, but was what Rangiku said true? Did he watch her as much as she’d been watching him? And, if that were the case … Why? There was only one conclusion that she could think of, but how could that be possible?

And with all these thoughts whirling around her head, coupled with the fact that Ulquiorra was working on the shelves behind, Orihime was feeling tenser than a mouse thrown into a cat-pen.

Huffing out a sigh, she stretched up on her tip-toes to slot the book in its place. Her thoughts were brought to a screeching halt as a pale hand eased the book from her stretching hand and pushed it into place. Orihime’s heart began to pound erratically as she realised that Ulquiorra was standing so close behind her that she could feel the heat emanating off him.

“This is … Unbearable,” he said slowly, his voice deep and thoughtful. Orihime swallowed the lump in her throat. He still hadn’t moved away - in fact, his finger tips were lingering on the back of her still out-stretched hand.

“Ul-Ulquiorra?” Orihime breathed, not daring to move, terrified of what would happen if she did. Equally terrified of what would happen if she didn’t.

“Have I not made myself clear?” he asked, and Orihime looked over her shoulder, her eyes wide and curious as she noticed the way he was looking at her. There was something brimming behind his eyes, some unspoken emotion that Orihime felt she recognised.

“Clear about …?” she asked in a whisper, feeling anything louder would break the moment.

Ulquiorra’s eyes continued to bore into hers silently, searching for something. For what, Orihime couldn’t possibly know, but she was undeniably disappointed as his lips tightened in a frown before he said, “Nevermind,” and stepped back away from her, his hand sliding into his pocket as he did so. Her skin was still tingling from where he’d touched.

In the next split second, several thoughts darted through Orihime’s mind – Don’t. No. That wasn’t how that was supposed to end. And, before she knew what she was doing, she had spun around and taken hold of the collar of Ulquiorra’s shirt. With something bordering on manic-desperation, she pulled him to her by the hold she had on his shirt and pressed up so that their lips met.

For months now she had been dying to do that, and to have Ulquiorra so close, have him so near with the thoughts that had been buzzing through her mind, it had been so frustrating, so maddening, that even that brief contact was enough to make Orihime breathe out a little sigh of relief.

And then Ulquiorra’s hand came to rest at the small of her back, gently angling her towards him as much was possible, and a shot of liquid heat rushed to the pits of her stomach.

“Ulquiorra,” she gasped, “I want – I mean, I need – That is…” Orihime blushed at the images dancing through her mind. And although some logical part of her was pointing out that he was a workmate, that she barely even knew the guy, that logical part was quickly silenced as Ulquiorra took hold of her face between his palms and looked at her with such intensity as he said,

“I want you.”

The words were enough to make her moan just a little as she arched her hips into his more fully than before, one hand quickly coming to tangle in his hair as their lips met once more. Then Ulquiorra’s tongue swiped over Orihime’s lower lip, asking entrance, and she didn’t hesitate to welcome him, only too readily meeting his tongue stroke for stroke.

Seconds later, Orihime felt the bookshelf dig into her back, and she hadn’t even realised that they had been moving backwards until Ulquiorra was pinning her against it, their bodies touching from chest to toe, and – Oh, Orihime mentally sighed as she realised exactly what it was that was pressing into her thigh.

“Where – Do you live?” she pulled back to ask, trembling a little as Ulquiorra began trailing kisses down her jaw and neck. Going to her house was unacceptable – She lived half an hour away and she honestly did not think she would last that long. Not now that something was finally being done about that unresolved sexual tension she’d been enduring.

“Not far.” Silently, Orihime sent a grateful thanks up to the heavens. At the rate things were going, she would have only too happily let Ulquiorra thoroughly ravish her in the library. She groaned softly at the image that flickered through her mind at the thought. A groan that quickly turned into a breathy sigh as Ulquiorra grazed his teeth over the skin on the side of her neck.

Hesitantly, Orihime placed a hand on Ulquiorra’s chest and gave him a gentle nudge backwards. “We – Can’t here,” Orihime panted, and she almost laughed at the regretful look that Ulquiorra fleetingly wore. She probably would have if he hadn’t captured her lips again in a slow, lingering kiss, the kind of which left Orihime completely breathless as he pulled away.

“Come with me, Woman,” he said, still close enough that his breath fanned out over Orihime’s still parted lips. Swallowing audibly, Orihime nodded and followed him to the Library entrance as if in a daze.

She only just remembered herself enough to bid Rangiku goodbye, the blonde the only other one left in the Library considering it was after-hours. It didn’t escape Orihime’s attention the way that Rangiku’s eyes flicked over to and lingered on Ulquiorra, who was waiting by the doorway, his gaze fixated on Orihime with almost impatience. Orihime couldn’t help but blush a bright red when Rangiku looked back towards her with a decidedly lewd smirk on her face.

“Have … fun,” she said, as she returned to whatever she was doing on the computer, and then added in an undertone, “I wondered how long it would take.” Orihime was already halfway across the foyer and barely even heard the comment.

As she and Ulquiorra stepped out into the chilly night air, it began to occur to Orihime what she was about to do – what they were about to do, and the thought both excited and terrified her. This would change everything. How would she react seeing him the next day, and the day after, if they went through with this? How would he react to seeing her?

She started to chew on her lower lip with anxiety. There was no way she could deny she’d been wanting this, her reaction back in the library was evidence enough of that, but – Orihime’s thoughts stalled as fingers twisted through hers, and she looked up at Ulquiorra with surprise.

He was looking down at her with an almost, not quite, but definitely hinted at smile on his lips, and then he was tugging her down the street, and Orihime decided that she would deal with all the what’s and how’s later. Right then, all she wanted was to push Ulquiorra into a wall and kiss him senseless.

Impatience very nearly got the better of her as they climbed a flight of stairs to his apartment, and she almost did exactly that, until Ulquiorra stopped at a door and dug a key out of his trench coat’s pocket. As the door swung open, Orihime’s heart began to race once more. Oh. Oh gods. Oh gods. Oh gods.

Ulquiorra regarded her with a contemplative look, clearly sensing her sudden uncertainty. Silently, he released her hand and walked inside, leaving the door wide open, and the meaning behind the gesture was as clear as the moon in the night sky – He wasn’t going to force her into anything she didn’t want. If she wanted this … She had to be the one to enter.

With a barely repressed growl, Orihime stepped into the apartment and pushed the door shut behind her, her chin tilted defiantly at Ulquiorra, “I want this,” she told him, “I’ve wanted this for longer than I care to admit.”

Ulquiorra continued to stare at her for a few moments, his gaze penetrating, and Orihime refused to back down from it. Eventually, he said, “Is that so?”

And it was as if a spell had been lifted with those words, because the very second they were uttered, Orihime surged forward at the same moment that Ulquiorra took a step towards her, their lips meeting somewhere between, and it was primal, and raw, and Orihime couldn’t stop mentally sighing yes, yes, yes, as she opened her mouth and Ulquiorra’s tongue instantly sought out hers.

Fumbling a little in her haste, Orihime undid the buttons of Ulquiorra’s coat, and pushed the material off his shoulders the very second it was loose. He helped by shifting his arms so the material fell to the floor, and was completely forgotten as he wound his arms around Orihime’s middle, holding her against him tight enough that he was able to pick her up off the floor and move them to the bedroom.

The very second Orihime felt the mattress behind her back, she rolled over so that she was straddling Ulquiorra’s waist. Impatiently, she tugged at the hem of her sweater and shirt and pulled them off, throwing them away from her as soon as she was free.

No sooner had the material left her hands, Ulquiorra sat up and claimed Orihime’s mouth in a kiss, one hand carding through her hair while the other came to rest against the base of her spine, and the feel of his hand on her bare skin drew a soft sigh from her lips.

With a slight smirk, Ulquiorra ducks his head and resumes kissing the side of Orihime’s throat, sucking and biting hard enough at certain points she’s certain he’s leaving bruises, but she can’t quite bring herself to care – It’s been cold enough lately that she could get away with wearing a turtleneck tomorrow.

Because she’s distracted by the feel of Ulquiorra’s lips on her neck, Orihime doesn’t realise one of his hands have moved until it comes to rest on her breast, his thumb rolling over the hardened nipple through the material of her bra.

“F-Fuck,” she groans, slowly grinding her hips up against Ulquiorra’s in response.

Tucking a hand under his chin, Orihime guides Ulquiorra back up from her neck with all intentions of kissing him, and feels a jolt of heat course through her at the way he’s looking at her, his pupils’ blown in his arousal. Just as their lips are about to meet, Orihime changes tactic and bites down on his lower lip instead. She’s rewarded for the split second decision when Ulquiorra’s hips snap up against hers.

She only has a moment to feel like she’s achieved a small victory though, because within the next second, Ulquiorra’s unclipped her bra and he looks up at her from under his lashes before he drags one of the straps down her arm with his teeth. Orihime’s breath hitches as he pushes the now-loose cup away with his nose, looks up at her again, before swiping his tongue over the newly revealed flesh just shy of her nipple. It’s enough to make Orihime gasp softly, her eyes closing to savour the feel as she instinctually arches into the contact.

Achingly slow, Ulquiorra trails his tongue lower until Orihime can feel his breath on the actual nipple. “Ah!” she hisses as he takes it into mouth, rolling it with his tongue, and it’s all she can do to thread her fingers through his hair, rocking her hips slowly into the erection she can feel against her thigh.

With a barely discernable growl, Ulquiorra takes hold of Orihime’s hips with both hands, as if trying to still her movements. But Orihime isn’t in the mood to take things slow – Maybe, some other time, but not right now. Right now … She just needs.

Frowning as she opens her eyes, it occurs to Orihime that Ulquiorra is still fully dressed, so she takes hold of his shirt and starts to tug at it. With a soft sigh that tickles as it fans out over Orihime’s bared skin, Ulquiorra pulls back to jerk the shirt over his head and tosses it into some corner of the room.

As soon as he’s done that, his eyes meet Orihime’s, and she can’t help but smile at him. She isn’t entirely sure why, she just does it, and his lips quirk with the beginning’s of a smile of his own before Orihime tilts her head and presses her lips to his.

And then she grins a little deviously as she tilts forward, forcing Ulquiorra back into the mattress. He doesn’t particularly mind, until Orihime pulls her mouth away from his and starts to kiss her way down his chest instead. She pauses to suck at the point of his throat just above his collarbone, her hands trailing lower and lower until they come to the waistband of his jeans.

Working at his belt with one hand, Orihime runs the other even further down, and grins as Ulquiorra half sighs-half hisses when her wandering hand finds his cock. Slowly kissing her way down his chest again, Orihime runs her hand back up to join the other with undoing his jeans.

Once she’s pulled the zipper down, Orihime shimmies herself lower so that she’s sitting in between his legs instead of atop Ulquiorra’s crotch, , and drags the jeans down with her. Glancing up at Ulquiorra, Orihime blushes when she sees that Ulquiorra has propped himself up on his elbows, watching her with obvious fascination. It’s a little embarrassing, and rather flattering all at the same time.

Scratching her nails up along his inner thigh, Orihime shifts so that she can kiss his hip bone. Both hands still running along the inside of his thighs, gradually creeping closer to his cock, Orihime continues to trail kisses along the arch of Ulquiorra’s hips, always skirting just outside of the hemline of his boxers.

“Woman,” Ulquiorra growls, and a glance up reveals that he’s thrown himself back on the bed, his arms crossed over his eyes as if he’s trying to hold something in. The idea makes Orihime giggle very softly, and Ulquiorra pulls his arms away to glare at her at the sound.

Just as he opens his mouth to say something though, Orihime tugs the waistband of his boxers down and lays her next kiss right where his leg meets his crotch. Whatever Ulquiorra was going to say is lost to the hastily bitten off curse, and his head lolls back onto the pillows once more.

Almost tentatively, Orihime brings a hand to Ulquiorra’s cock, and drags her thumb over the slit before sliding it down to the base, only to bring it back up again. She pumps three times before she shifts so that her mouth is hovering over the head.

As Orihime edges herself lower, her tongue zigzagging along the skin as she goes, Ulquiorra can’t bite back his groan. Mentally, Orihime smiles at the sound. Physically, she starts to trace a different pattern with her tongue as she pulls back up, the hand not shallowly pumping at Ulquiorra’s base coming to lightly massage his balls.

“Bloody hell,” she hears moaned, and a glance up reveals Ulquiorra’s thrown his arms over his eyes again, and if it weren’t for the fact that his breathing is shallow, Orihime might be concerned she’d done something wrong.

Smiling to herself at the encouraging reaction, she runs her tongue along the slit before she starts to take Ulquiorra in her mouth again.

She manages to repeat this twice before Ulquiorra hisses, “I can’t-,” and he’s pulling her back up to him then, and she all too willingly follows as Ulquiorra draws her in for a deep, languid kiss.

Until she remembers that she still has her panties and jeans on, which goes completely against her current wants.

“Wait,” she says as she rolls to the side and Ulquiorra watches her with curious eyes as she hurriedly pushes them down. As soon as she does though, she’s temporarily overcome with self-consciousness, and she glances up at Ulquiorra uncertainly.

He’s looking at her with such reverence that Orihime can’t help but blush and smile shyly. But then, he holds a hand out invitingly, and she doesn’t hesitate to crawl back onto the bed and make her way back up to where she’d been moments before. Ulquiorra pulls her into another breath taking kiss the very second she gets there.

But she can feel that his dick is teasing against her entrance, and though she can feel Ulquiorra’s hands ghosting their way up the back of Orihime’s thighs, she aligns her hips and rolls and –

“Ohhh,” she moans at the feel, and Ulquiorra hastily buries his head in her neck, panting against her collarbone

The two of them stay like that for a moment, both simply panting as they adjust to the sensations, but then Orihime grinds her hips experimentally, and it sends a jet of white hot fire to that place deep within, and she can’t help but gasp and throw her head back.

Steadying herself by holding onto Ulquiorra’s sides, Orihime rolls her hips forward again, and lifts up the slightest amount on her way back, only to roll forward once more. Each motion feels like it’s driving Ulquiorra up further within, and each move is making that place within her clench, and tighten, and Orihime can feel fine hairs are sticking to her forehead, but she just doesn’t care, because Gods, it feels so good.

Orihime hisses some inarticulate noise when Ulquiorra jerks up and brings a hand up to twine through the hair at the base of her neck, resting his forehead on hers so that each of their laboured breaths tangle together. The inarticulate noise quickly turns into a drawn-out moan that is pulled from her throat as he starts to thrust up in time to each roll of her hips.

Focusing her half-lidded gaze on Ulquiorra, Orihime realises that he’s still staring at her as if she’s the only thing he ever wants to see, and it sends another jolt of fire through her.

Just as Orihime can feel that she’s getting so, so close, Ulquiorra grips her hips and rolls them both over so that Orihime’s pinned beneath him.

“I … Had been … Enjoying that,” Orihime half whines– half pants, the rebuke broken up by pleasured gasps as Ulquiorra continues to thrust into her, hitting all new sweet spots thanks to the new angle.

“Next time,” he growls, silencing any objections Orihime may have had with a kiss. Orihime’s too caught up on the implications of those words to particularly care, she simply wraps her legs tight around Ulquiorra’s waist and runs her hands through his hair.

It felt like there was a white hot fire burning with her, and as Ulquiorra snaps his hips forward almost violently, Orihime swears that she can see stars. And then he does it again, and the fire that had been burning completely consumes her and she yells out something that may have been Ulquiorra’s name as she’s overcome by her release.

As if that was the signal he’d been waiting for, Ulquiorra begins to thrust erratically as Orihime convulses beneath him. And then, the grip he has on Orihime’s hair becomes almost painfully tight, and he stills as he comes to his own release.

For the next few moments, the two of them simply lay there panting. Ulquiorra’s head buries itself in the crook between Orihime’s neck and shoulder, and Orihime feels irrationally empty as Ulquiorra slips out. He makes no move to get off her though, and so, she uncertainly brings a hand up to trail a random pattern on his back

As Orihime lay there, her heart beating frantically in her chest, she isn’t quite sure what she should be doing now – She isn’t sure what this means either. Should she stay, or should she go? Does this mean they’re together, or was it just a one time thing?

She’s working herself into such an anxious state, that when Ulquiorra finally raises himself up so that he can look down at her, she isn’t sure whether she should smile or not. He manages to erase the fears flitting around her mind as he lowers himself back down to press a surprisingly tender kiss to her lips though, and Orihime can hear the message behind it as clearly as if Ulquiorra had spoken it. Stay.

And, as she rolls onto her side so that she can sleep, her head resting on Ulquiorra’s chest as she does so, she thinks that maybe everything will work out alright, even without them needing to clarify. Ulquiorra didn’t strike her as the kind to feel the need to label each relationship he had anyway so … Maybe it would be okay. Maybe.



When Orihime walked in to work the next day however (Ulquiorra had left her a note informing her that he’d gone on ahead and that she was welcome to help herself to whatever she could find), she should have known that things were not going to be that simple. Not when someone like Rangiku watches you leave together, with the intent between you obvious.

Orihime barely managed to repress a sigh as Rangiku stormed up to her and gave her that look. The one that practically screamed Well?

Before Orihime could even open her mouth to answer – Answer what, she had no idea. But answer all the same - her hand was taken hold of and she was spun around. She had the briefest moment to realise it was Ulquiorra, and had just enough time for a blush to stain her cheeks, before her mouth had been claimed in an almost defiant kiss, and Orihime instantly responded to that kiss.

It took a few moments for Orihime to realise that Ulquiorra was kissing her in their workplace. It took her a further few moments to realise that it wasn’t just Rangiku who was witnessing it – It was all of the staff at the library. She thought she even saw Aizen peek out of his office for a moment.

As Ulquiorra pulled back and all but glared at everyone staring, Orihime realised that she didn’t have to ask. The answer to her questions were obvious – It was evident in the way that he was holding her tight against him, in the way that he was still glaring vehemently at everyone nearby, practically daring them to comment.

Mine, he was saying, and Orihime couldn’t stop the relieved grin from spreading on her face.

Silently, she took hold of Ulquiorra’s hand and led him towards the kitchen. In all likelihood, he was yet to have his coffee, and maybe he’d stop glaring icy daggers at everyone if he had one.

...Maybe.

~X~

WHY did I have to change my mind about what I was going to write for the fest, the day before the entries were due in? Jfc.
Well, anyway, hope that you guys enjoyed that all the same. I was honestly tempted to make them have sex in the library ... Until the plot of it started fleshing itself out and I was like "... That, is not going to work" ... So instead, I gave you making out in the library! Yay!

I'm also sincerely hoping I don't look at this tomorrow and think "Oh gods no" cos ... I can't change my entry after this XD

Cherik Fanfiction: There is no Future Without You - 7/7

2011-11-17T17:00:48Z

Title: There is no Future Without You
Word Count: 6 971
Pairing: Cherik
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Rating: M ...? I'm honestly bad at figuring out what rating things should be - Just look at the warnings.
Warnings: Love of the homosexual nature. Implications of sexual situations. Oh, and swearing.
Summary: Charles and Erik were friends when they were children - Until certain circumstances tore them apart. Many years later, when Erik moves to England so that he can study at Oxford University, he certainly doesn't expect to run into his childhood friend again.In fact, he doesn't expect any of the events that follow.
Notes: This is something that I wrote for ile_o, who drew this amazingly cute fanart for me (Which can be found here), gushing about how much she wanted to see a fic where Charles and Erik meet as children - But with the age difference. And this is my response to that cos the image just wouldn't leave me alone. So, here it is darling, and I hope to the gods of Tuesday that you like it. >///<

Part One, Two, Three, Four, Five, and Six

~X~

When Erik came to the next morning, he couldn’t help but smile fondly as he felt the weight of Charles snuggled into his chest. Even if he was overheating, and even if his arm was numb, Erik couldn’t think of a better way to wake up than with a still sleeping Charles in his arms. It was with nigh reverence that Erik’s hand began to trail lazily up and down Charles’ – still bare – back, and he had to fight against the urge to bury his nose in the messy hair nestled beneath his chin. He managed to resist, but just barely.

Somehow, Erik couldn’t believe that this wasn’t a dream - It seemed like it should be. Not only had Charles accepted the way that Erik felt about him, last night had happened, and now Charles was half lying on Erik as he slept. Just to be sure, Erik bit into his lip.

“Bloody fuck. Ow,” he hissed under his breath. Definitely not a dream. That’s good to know.

Soft chuckling drew his attention to the man lying half atop him, and his hand stopped tracing patterns for just a moment before Charles whined, “Don’t stop. That feels wonderful.”

“I thought you were still asleep,” Erik remarked, resuming his pattern tracing.

“I was,” Charles murmured, burying his head further into Erik’s chest, “Until someone attempted to chew his own lip off.”

Erik chose not to dignify that with a response, quite content to lie in bed with one hand memorising the contours of Charles’ back, listening to the sound of his only-partially awake breathing. Or, at least, he was, until human needs called him.

“Do you plan on disappearing if I use the bathroom Charles?” Erik asked, recalling the last time he’d left a sleeping Charles in his bed, he’d come back out of that room to find an empty bed and a hastily scrawled apology.

“Not this time,” Charles yawned, nuzzling into the pillow Erik had just vacated.

Erik still did all that he needed to as quick as he was able, and was completely unable to help the smile that stretched his lips as he leant in the doorway of the bathroom, drinking in the sight of Charles still sprawled in his bed, the other’s sleepy blue eyes looking over at him fondly. Erik didn’t even hesitate to crawl back into the bed as Charles held an inviting hand out to him, sighing softly as he rested his head atop Erik’s chest again, and Erik’s hand automatically returned to tracing patterns in his back.

“Why did you leave that time?” Erik asked after a few moments of peace, and cocked his eyebrow as he felt Charles tense.

“That was – Er…”

“Charles,” Erik warned, his hand stalling in its trailing.

Charles heaved a sigh before saying, “I suppose it doesn’t really matter after last night,” under his breath, which only served to make Erik’s eyebrows rise higher. “I left because I was afraid you’d seen something.”

“Like what exactly?” Erik didn’t even notice that his fingers had taken to tracing patterns again, and Charles visibly relaxed at the feel of it.

“I didn’t have full control that night, and I was worried that I’d projected a certain dream I’d had.”

Hesitating just a moment as he thought back to that night, Erik asked, “What kind of dream, Charles?” suspicion tickling the edges of his awareness. Surely not?

The telepath blushed suddenly – Which struck Erik as both supremely odd, and ridiculously endearing, considering what they’d done the night before and the fact that Charles was still lying naked in his arms – but pursed his lips, and shook his head a little. ‘I don’t really want to say’ Charles thought at him, and Erik rolled his eyes.

“After everything that happened last night,” he sighed, concentrating on particular moments and purposely allowing Charles to see them too.

Much to Erik’s bemusement, Charles buried his head into Erik’s chest as he did so, as if hiding his face would stop the images. “Yes, it was something like that,” he mumbled, and Erik lay there blinking for just a moment, before he snorted with disbelief.

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

Completely misunderstanding, Charles perched himself up on his elbows and fixed Erik was a mildly affronted look, “I couldn’t exactly help it Erik, it was a dream. And I had been sleeping in your bed that night – Not that I managed to sleep much for that exact reason and –”

Sliding his hand into the hair at the base of Charles’ neck, Erik tugged the other man back down to him and effectively stopped his rant by stealing a kiss, something Charles actually hummed, “Thankyou” to, his mouth curled into a soft smile as he looked down at Erik.

“I hadn’t been making fun of you Charles,” Erik clarified, “I’d thought it had been my dream.”

“Oh,” Charles breathed, leaning down to press his lips to Erik’s briefly. “That’s alright then,” and then he looked over at the clock and sighed. “We really ought to be getting to class Erik,” though Charles followed this up by kissing Erik again, a little longer this time.

“Mmm, probably.” Erik’s hand began to trail a little lower with each stroke of whichever pattern he’d taken to running up and down Charles’ back, his lips searching for that particular spot on the side of Charles’ throat that had elicited delightful noises from him the night before.

“Erik,” Charles whispered, and Erik could hear the warning in it, but didn’t particularly care as he dragged his teeth across Charles’ adam’s apple. For all the warning Charles had tried to imbue in that word, Erik had also heard the growing desire behind it.

“Yes, Charles?”

“Class,” the other man repeated, and Erik smirked at the breathlessness in his voice. At the fact that, for all of Charles’ good intentions, he had still shifted so that he was straddling Erik’s hips as Erik ravished his neck.

“Indeed.”

As Erik ghosted his hands up along the back of Charles’ thighs, he couldn’t help but grin with victory as Charles hissed “Fuck it,” before he tilted Erik’s head back by taking hold of his hair, and firmly melded their lips together. ‘You’re a horrible influence,’ he admonished, even as his tongue sought out Erik’s.

Neither of them managed to get to a single lecture until after lunch, and Erik smirked to himself as Charles reluctantly left to go to his class. He wondered if Charles realised that Erik had left a noticeable mark just above his collar-line.

When he received a horrified ‘Erik!!!’ not five minutes later, Erik couldn’t help but smirk down at his notes. Apparently, he hadn’t.

---

Erik had never cared for labels, and so it didn’t occur to him to give the new direction his relationship with Charles had taken a name. He hadn’t felt that it was necessary. It wasn’t until Erik overheard the other students theorising that he realised that maybe this was a time when a label was needed – if only so that things were perfectly clear.

“I just don’t know Diana. They’ve always been that way.”

“This is different I tell you! There’s something new there – And you can’t tell me you don’t think it’s strange they’ve started walking around campus with their hands locked together -They never did that before.”

Erik was just about to snap at the two gossiping girls to shut the hell up so that he could get some work done, when they said something actually managed to catch his attention, and he instead took a step closer to the bookcase between so that he could listen with better clarity.

“Yes, but … It’s Charles and Erik. They’ve always been closer than was normal … Maybe this is just some new thing? Charles looks like a hand-holder after all.” It took all of Erik’s self control to not scoff at the hope in the girls voice.

“There is no possible way that you actually believe that. I know that you’ve got a crush on Erik, so I’m sure you’re thinking of every possible excuse but … There’s no way around this one, Lisa. There’s something special between Charles and Erik.”

“Jeez Diana. That’s a little harsh,” the Lisa girl muttered, and Erik was just about to walk away thinking he’d heard all they had worth listening to, when she blurted. “You really think they’re together-together though? Like, boyfriends? From what Jessica says about Charles’ senior years in school, he was more than a little promiscuous.”

Erik’s nose flared at that little bit of information. Charles had never mentioned he’d had a reputation before. Thinking on it, Erik realised that he didn’t know much about Charles’ school life before Oxford at all, and that was something he intended on remedying - Especially if there were things like Charles’ promiscuity that he wasn’t aware of.

He was distracted from his thoughts by the first girls’ voice. “I think so. Who can say for sure though. I certainly hadn’t imagined Erik being gay but …”

And that was the point that Erik rolled his eyes, closed his book, and walked away, deciding that he’d gleaned as much information from listening in to that conversation as was possible.

As Erik made his way to his room, he couldn’t stop thinking about the concept of a Charles that slept around enough to earn a reputation, and frowned as he considered the implications – Was this not ‘special’ to Charles if that was the case? Was Erik just another notch on his bedpost? It wasn’t as though they’d spoken about it and agreed they were ‘together’ after all, they had simply been sleeping together. And it was true that Charles and he had taken to walking around the campus with twined hands - it only seemed natural to do so after the first time Charles had slipped his hand into Erik’s with a shy smile - but did that make them a ‘couple’, or …

Erik ran a hand down his face as he thought. Why could things never be simple when they concerned Charles? Or people in general for that matter.

He was pulled out of his reverie as a hand brushed up against his and didn’t hesitate to thread their fingers together. Charles had somehow appeared beside him, and was looking up at Erik with a smile on his face. With the thoughts whirling around his head, Erik wasn’t sure whether he should grin back the way he normally did, or pull his hand free.

Erik ended up settling for quirking his lips in an almost smile, before continuing his path to his room, Charles’ hand still twined with his.

“Something troubling you, my friend?” Charles asked, looking up at Erik with concern as he followed, the content smile fading and giving way to a worried frown.

Ah – and there it was. ‘My friend’ Charles had said, and Erik found that term was simply unacceptable at this point.

“‘My friend’?” Erik repeated, the question coming out as a growl, and Charles sensed that something wasn’t right because his eyebrows drew together, and he tightened his grip on Erik’s hand enough that they stopped walking.

“Erik?”

“What does this,” and Erik raised their still joined hands so that Charles knew exactly what Erik was referring to, “mean to you Charles? Because, I have to admit, ‘my friend’ wasn’t what I had in mind after everything that has happened this past week.”

“Of course that isn’t – I didn’t think we needed to - … What brought this on?” Charles spluttered, his cheeks flushing with indignation.

“Why don’t you just take a look for yourself?” Erik sighed, and Charles hesitantly raised his fingers to his temple, his mouth pulled into an uncertain frown as he did so.

As he listened to the conversation Erik had overheard, Charles’ brows drew together as he took in not only the words the girls had spoken, but Erik’s musings about it as well. Once he’d finished, Charles pinched at the bridge of his nose.

“People and their damnable need to gossip,” he sighed, and Erik raised an expectant eyebrow at him. “What do you want me to say Erik? Yes, I slept around in my senior years – You knew that I’d been no virgin the first time we were together.”

“That, actually, isn’t the part that bothers me,” Well, not much. Maybe a little bit … But not because he thought any less of Charles for it - it was because he now had an undefined amount of people to be a little jealous of. Charles must have understood that, because he briefly smiled up at Erik with amusement, before that faded and was replaced with a troubled frown.

“It didn’t even occur to me that we would need to clarify what we were.”

Had it not been for those girls gossiping, Erik wouldn’t have thought it necessary either. But, now, he wasn’t so sure – and maybe he needed to hear it, if only so that he knew with infallible certainty that the two of them wanted the same thing.

Charles simply looked up at Erik with wide eyes as he brought his free hand up and cupped Erik’s cheek, his thumb trailing along the skin there tenderly. Erik resolutely swore that he did not turn his head into that touch – Or, well, maybe he did, but he would still deny that he had, even to Charles. Slowly, Charles stretched up on his toes and brushed his lips against Erik’s in a feather-light kiss, and Erik’s hand automatically curled around the smaller man’s waist.

Pulling back just barely, still close enough that that their lips were just touching, Charles sighed, “Oh Erik. You mean so much more to me than a ‘notch on a bedpost’ – I’d thought that was obvious.”

“That isn’t what I’m asking Charles.” Even if it is good to know.

“Of course it isn’t,” Charles said, resting his forehead against Erik’s as he shifted his hand around so that it threaded through the hairs at the back of Erik’s neck. His other was still holding onto Erik’s tightly. “But it seems so juvenile to say ‘Erik, we’re boyfriends aren’t we?’”

“And is that what we are Charles?”

If it weren’t for the fact that his heart was pounding annoyingly hard in his chest, Erik might have found the way that Charles blushed and buried his head into the crook of Erik’s shoulder amusing. As it was, he was a touch too nervous about the answer to fully appreciate the reaction.

“Is – Is that what you want, Erik?”

Erik rolled his eyes, before scoffing “And you’d thought you were obvious. I’d have thought that I was even more so.” Charles didn’t look up from his hiding spot against Erik’s neck though, and for the first time Erik realised that maybe Charles wasn’t as all-knowing as he liked to seem.

Tentatively, Erik took hold of Charles’ chin and lifted it so that the other man was forced to look him in the eye. It was a little surprising and a touch disconcerting to see the way that Charles’ eyes were clouded with anxiety, which was precisely why Erik soldiered through his pounding heart to say, quite clearly, “Of course that’s what I want Charles. Anything else is simply unacceptable.”

The way that Charles beams up at him with a blinding smile before he literally launches himself at Erik, his arms wrapping tightly around the taller man’s neck, makes Erik wonder why they even allowed things to go unspoken between them at all. “Honestly Charles, do you think I tell everyone that I love them and then proceed to fuck them?” The fact that Erik had never told anyone that he loved them before was completely beside the point.

“Of course not – Though I really wish you’d stop calling it that. We make love, not fuck,” Charles mutters, and Erik can’t help the chuckle that works its way up his throat at the decided pout in Charles’ tone.

“That certainly isn’t what you were saying last night,” Erik breathes into Charles’ ear, his mouth pulling into a lewd smirk as the sound of Charles’ moans floats around his mind. And then Erik frowns as something occurs to him. “Charles, you do realise that I haven’t got the faintest idea of how to be someone’s ‘boyfriend’, right?”

Charles pulls back to give Erik a glare, before saying, “First of all, you’re not just ‘someone’s’ boyfriend – You’re my boyfriend, which is infinitely worse, I’m afraid.” If it weren’t for the brief quirk of Charles’ lips that gave away the fact that he was joking, Erik might have actually been worried about what he’d gotten himself into. Or, he would have been, if the possessive growl in Charles’ voice wasn’t inspiring Erik to consider pinning the smaller man’s body against the wall and doing unspeakable things to him.

“It means, “Charles continued, “that if you show even the slightest amount of interest in someone else, I’ll know, and there’s no way for you to hide things from me. I’m an absolute nightmare when I’m sick, and I’ll fully expect you to take care of me and pander to my every whim. I hog the blanket, and I absolutely loathe mornings. And, you’ll have to deal with overly protective sisters that will castrate you without hesitation should you ever break my heart,” Erik actually flinched at this last statement, because if the scathing look Raven had given him the first day she’d seen Erik walking around with Charles’ hand in his was any indication, Charles was not joking with that last one.

And then, Charles smiled fondly before he raised himself up and pressed his lips to Erik’s briefly, “Aside from that, the only difference between before and now, is that we get to make out.”

“I think I can handle that,” Erik muttered, tugging Charles tighter against him as he captured his lips in a more heated kiss.

Much to Erik’s chagrin, the telepath pulled back abruptly, regarded Erik with eyes that were a shade darker than usual and began to walk away, keeping his hold on Erik’s hand so that he was forced to follow.

“Where are we going Charles?” Erik sighed, even as he allowed himself to be lead out of the secluded hallway.

Charles grinned over at him mischievously before he told Erik, “To practise being boyfriends, of course.” Erik decided that he saw no reason to object to that – That Electrical theory thesis could wait another hour or two. Or maybe a day … He’d get it done later. Right now, he had boyfriend-like things to do that took precedence.

---

He can’t seem to drag his eyes away from the clock, which is more than a little frustrating. Erik has an exam tomorrow, and he really ought to be sleeping so that his mind is alert for the exam – Even if he has found all other exams so far exceedingly simple – but instead, Erik is watching the clock as it counts down the minutes.

It’s twenty past two, and Charles is still out. Somebody that Charles knew had been throwing a party, and Erik had pointedly refused to go, seeing as he didn’t know the person and simply couldn’t be bothered with dealing with the inane antics of drunken humans.

That, of course, hadn’t stopped Charles from going, and he was still out, and Erik scowled into the darkness as he remembered how flirty Charles got when he was drunk. Although Erik trusted Charles to know that he wasn’t fool enough to actually do anything, even the idea of him flirting and having others flirt back was enough to make Erik lay there, grinding his teeth as he watched the time pass by.

At twenty to three, the sense of a key entering his lock made Erik hastily roll over so that his back was facing the door, determined to at least pretend that he was asleep - He wasn’t about to let Charles know that while he’d been out partying, Erik had laid in bed waiting for him. That was just ridiculous – Erik Lensherr did not wait for his boyfriend to return as if he were some kind of puppy.

Arms slid around his waist as a chuckle reverberated around his mind and Charles’ voice told him, ‘I know that you’re awake Erik.’
            ‘
And you really ought to learn how to control yourself better when you’re smashed’

‘I’m not smashed, just a little tipsy… Or drunk, not quite sure which of the two’

Erik could feel Charles’ nose brushing along the side of his neck, could feel his breath ghosting across the skin there, and sighed a little as the younger man pushed a cold leg in between Erik’s, apparently attempting to wrap himself around Erik so completely that it was like he was trying to merge their bodies into one. And Erik absolutely did not find it relieving to know that, even when drunk, Charles wanted him so entirely. He just happened to sleep better when Charles was beside him.

‘Liar,’ Charles said, his mental voice a mere whisper with Charles border on sleep the way that he was.

“Go to sleep Charles,” Erik sighed, his hand coming up to twine with Charles’ at his hip of its own accord.

“Yes Erik,” Charles breathed, and then, unexpectedly, added, “Love you.”

Erik froze at the sound of those words, blinking a few times with surprise. Although he was aware that Charles cared for him – The fact that they were a few months into their relationship despite the heated arguments they still had was a testament to that – and although Erik knew that Charles knew that he loved him, Charles had never actually said those words to him before, and it was … Startling, in a way, because the last person to tell him that they loved him was his mother.
            ‘
I’d thought you were aware that I did though’ Charles’ mental-voice was a little more alert now, so Erik didn’t feel guilty for rolling over and pinning Charles to the bed, his eyes looking up at Erik with bemusement.

“Knowing it, and hearing it are completely different things,” Erik said as he ducked down to kiss the corners of Charles’ mouth. Charles’ arms wound around Erik’s waist as he shifted so that the next kiss Erik had meant for his nose ended up finding Charles’ lips.

“I love you,” Charles pulled back to tell him, one hand running up Erik’s back to thread through his hair, holding Erik in place with a firm grip as he looked up at him. “I’ve loved you since before I can remember.”

Erik’s only response was to kiss Charles with more force than before, more passion, trying to will his awe into that kiss. Charles seemed to understand, because Erik could feel that his lips had curled into a smile as he pressed himself up into Erik insistently, one leg shifting to curl around his hip.

In some distant part of his mind, Erik wondered if Charles was aware that Erik had been in love with him since they had been children. As a breathy moan trembled from Charles’ lips though, Erik decided he had more important things to be concentrating on at that point in time.

---

In some rational part of his mind, Erik isn’t particularly surprised when he notices the recognisable figure of Emma Frost sashaying around the hallways of Oxford – Shaw managed to find his way to England, so it stood to reason that Emma would follow shortly after. That doesn’t mean that he’s any less infuriated when he spots her though, and it takes all of his self control to not pin her to the wall by her throat. He’s too busy focusing on her to notice the way that the nearby tap suddenly curls in on itself.

This time last year, Erik wouldn’t have cared if she’d found him – Although Emma had always been an irritation, it was Shaw that he’d been trying to cut ties with. Now, however, armed with the knowledge that it was entirely because of her inability to keep her stolen knowledge to herself Shaw came to yearn for Raven – or, more specifically, her power - Charles had been forced to re-locate, and because of her his mother had been murdered in cold blood … Well, with all that considered, Erik certainly wasn’t as dismissive about her reappearance as he may have been before.

Erik may have promised Charles that he wouldn’t seek her out for vengeance, but that didn’t mean he was going to leave her alone if she was fool enough to appear before him again. And since Charles was away on a day trip to some laboratory, it meant that Erik wasn’t being scolded for his violent intentions.

Before Erik could even pull a shred of metal towards him though, Emma cocked her head and fixed him with an irritated glare. “Erik, honey, you really need to learn to not think so loud. I see that you’re as melodramatic as ever, however.”

“Emma,” Erik snarled, her nonchalant attitude only serving to further his anger. Not for the first time, Erik wished that the infernal woman actually wore jewellery – A necklace to pull on would have been marvellous just then.

“Yes, yes, you’re highly affronted because a younger and naïve me tried to get into Shaw’s pants by telling him about some powerful mutants nearby. Do save it darling. Can we skip the violence I know you crave? I just got a manicure and would really rather not render it pointless to have done so.”

“How many times must I tell you to stay the fuck out of my head?”

Emma simply shrugged a delicate shoulder, completely unrepentant, before she threw her head back and laughed, the sight of which startled Erik enough that he temporarily forgot about his want to main the woman before him. Erik wasn’t sure what he mistrusted more – A cold and unfeeling Emma, or an Emma that seemed to have a weight lifted from her shoulders.

“Oh, love,” she said with a smile, before she continued to saunter out into the courtyard, Erik following her warily, “It’s hard to do so when you’re practically yelling them to me. By the way, I’m glad to see that the telepath and his shape shifting sister are doing well.”

Before Erik had even stopped to think about it, he pulled the screws out of a bench and held them at Emma’s throat, his eyes blazing as he looked at her. How dare she mention Charles so callously?

“Chill the fuck out would you?” Emma snapped, and Erik begrudgingly respected the way she didn’t even flinch as the points dug into her flesh, knowing full well that she could shift into her diamond form if she was worried about the damage Erik could cause her as long as she held onto her human skin.

Narrowing his eyes, Erik pushed the screws in with a little more force, and felt a stab of vindictive pleasure when a small trickle of blood trailed out from one of them. “What do you want Emma?” he growled, not even caring that his behaviour was earning startled gasps from the few students who had thought to soak up the sun while they had a chance. They all hurriedly snatched at their belongings and darted away, casting furtive glances in Erik and Emma’s direction, and Erik knew that Charles would be upset when he found out about this, but he didn’t care right then.

“Want?” Emma repeated, her perfectly plucked eyebrows rising with surprise, “Must I want something to decide to check up on you?”

“When it was never as though we were the closest of friends – Yes,” was what Erik said. What he meant was When you’re going to comment about Charles’ well being and make me get defensive, yes.

“I’m thoroughly offended Erik. Here I am, at Oxford, entirely because I could feel your presence and you accuse me of threatening your Telepath,” Emma sighed heavily as though she had been grievously wounded, but Erik just continued to glare at her, all too resistant to her theatrical nature after the years he’d been forced to endure it. She seemed to understand this too, because with a huff, she said, “Fine. I was concerned and wanted to make sure you were actually alive after Shaw came hunting you down – Is that reason enough?”

“I still find that highly unlikely.”

“Believe what you want Erik, it’s the truth. Now, kindly remove these screws from my neck before I’m forced to get nasty.”

Hesitantly, Erik did as he was asked and returned the screws to their proper place. He still watched Emma with narrowed eyes though, highly mistrusting of the woman who had been Shaw’s right-hand man for so many years.

“Oh please,” Emma groaned as she seated herself on the nearest bench, even though she turned her nose up at it initially. “I was as much a pawn to him as you were - It just took me far too long to realise that. Some use telepathy is when you can’t even pick up something like that. It’s like emotions,” and Emma was suddenly looking up at Erik with a piercing gaze, “Although you can see someone’s memories, and hear their thoughts, you can’t tell what their emotions at the time were.”

Recognising the signs of Emma fishing for information, Erik sighed as he allowed himself to fall onto the bench seat opposite the blonde. “Where are you going with this Emma?”

“Are you happy, Erik?” she asked, apparently deciding to forego subtlety entirely.

Erik simply blinked over at the woman uncertainly before saying, “I’m sorry?” positive that he had misheard her question. In all the time that Erik had known her, Emma had been entirely self-serving, so for her to suddenly seem to care about his happiness was strange, to say the least … But, if the woman’s words were to be believed, she’d been concerned about his fate after the encounter with Shaw so, who could say. Perhaps this Shaw-less Emma wasn’t quite so selfish? Erik almost snorted aloud at the unlikeliness.

If Emma was listening to Erik’s thoughts, she paid them no mind as she repeated, slowly, accentuating each syllable “Are you happy? You are aware of what it means to be happy, aren’t you, love? I want to know if you are.”

Oh. He hadn’t misheard her then, and Erik’s mouth tugged into a frown as he considered the question. He’d never given something like ‘Happiness’ a thought before – The constant struggle to be ‘happy’ was one that Erik had never cared for, mainly because as long as people left him alone, he had been. But then Charles returned to his life and …

No one could say that things were ‘perfect’ between Charles and himself now that they were in a relationship – They still fought, often. The most heated of which generally revolved around their vastly differing opinions about humans; Erik simply regarded them with disdain, while Charles seemed to have immeasurable hope for their potential. Unlike before though, their arguments almost always ended with a sudden clash of teeth and lips, which led to angry sex loud enough that Charles had taken to flooding nearby mind’s with a feeling reminiscent to that of having water-logged ears.

And Erik was still highly jealous of anyone who spoke to Charles for longer than two minutes. Even if Charles stood there and held his hand throughout the entire conversation, the other student always ended up retreating from over-exposure to Erik’s glare. No matter how often Charles scolded him for this, caught somewhere between amusement and frustration, Erik knew it was something that wasn’t likely to change any time soon.

The fact that Moira and Charles were close friends certainly didn’t mean that Erik had come to like the woman’s presence, either. Even if he was slowly starting to be able to appreciate the reasoning behind her barbed comments – She cared for Charles, and Erik was being forced to grudgingly admire and respect exactly how much she cared for Charles, even if it was also highly irritating at times.

No matter how much Charles tried, he still couldn’t convince Erik to be more sociable either. This, of course, meant that there were often nights where Erik would hide in his dorm room and pretend to not be waiting for Charles. Nights where he would sit there, staring at his text book without taking in a single word and wonder if that night would be the one where Charles would realise that he could do so much better than someone as volatile, and unapproachable as Erik. Charles always crept into the room in the early hours of the morning, however, and only too readily snuggled his cold self into Erik’s back, which instantly melted away Erik’s fears and concerns, Charles sleepily admonishing him for it each and every time without fail.

And, as Erik thought about it, images of Charles flashed through his mind – A collage of those unbearably bright, trusting eyes. Snapshots of warm and tender smiles, of knowing smirks, of amused grins, of kiss-swollen lips. A million flashes of Charles, and it was all Charles, Charles, Charles, and Erik was smiling to himself completely unable to help himself.

No. Things were not ‘perfect’ with Charles, and maybe they never would be, but they were absolutely perfect in their imperfection, and Erik couldn’t be happier with that. The answer to Emma’s question was so startlingly obvious, it almost took Erik’s breath away.

“Yes,” he told Emma, meeting her still piercing gaze with a defiant one of his own. Erik even raised his chin challengingly as she arched an eyebrow cynically at the declaration. “I’m happy, Emma. Happier than I ever dreamed I would be in fact.”

“Is that so? I’m glad to hear that,” she said, and Erik was momentarily stunned by the amount of sincerity in her voice. Then, her eyes flicked over to the archway leading into Oxford’s entrance hall. “Just to be clear, I wasn’t mind-fucking him. Apparently the ‘fucking’ is entirely your job now, darling.”

The statement itself seemed to come completely out of nowhere, until Erik realised that he could feel a familiar shape of metal standing in the doorway. A glance over revealed an astonished, blushing Charles, presumably from Emma’s crass words.

As soon as Charles’ eyes met his, Erik felt his lips curl into a smile, and it simply drove his revelation further home. Without realising it, Erik projected an impatient thought in Charles’ direction, and Charles hesitated only a moment before walking into the small courtyard, eyeing Emma cautiously as he settled beside Erik, subconsciously twining their hands together as he did so.

“I’d ask who you were, but I’m already well aware,” Charles said, looking over at Emma with narrowed eyes, and Erik was amused to hear the thinly-veiled suspicion in his tone.

Apparently Emma was too, because, again taking Erik by surprise, she threw her head back and laughed. “Oh darling, you are misunderstanding entirely. I have to say though, it amuses me to no end that you actually respect his desire that you keep out of his mind – It certainly never stopped me.”

“Yes, well, one could say that comes down to a difference in values,” Charles countered, his lips stretching into a fake, and somehow menacing, smile. Emma simply grinned in return, Erik watching the display with vague interest.

After a few moments, Charles visibly relaxed and Emma shrugged, leaving Erik to wonder what mental debate he’d just missed out on, but figured that Charles would tell him later if he was meant to know. For now, he was rather content simply burying his nose in Charles’ hair as the younger man leant against him, even if Emma was looking at them with fascination.

“Well then,” Emma said after a moment, standing up and dusting off the back of her skirt meticulously. “I can’t sit around here all day – Watching the two of you is making me nauseous. Erik, it was good to see you again, and to meet you, Charles,” and with one more nod in their direction, she sauntered back the way she’d come.

Erik didn’t even bother looking up from his position to watch her go, opting instead to simply grunt a “Likewise,” in her general direction. Much to Erik’s surprise, Charles simply said a dismissive “Goodbye, Emma,” and didn’t insist on walking her out, as he seemed to do with almost everyone else they knew.

Before the sound of Emma’s clicking heels had faded, Charles shifted so that he was sitting in Erik’s lap, and sighed contentedly as he buried his head into Erik’s chest. “That was strange,” he muttered, and Erik hummed his agreement.

Charles was silent for a moment, and then, he says, “As much as I can’t say that I agreed with her … I’m almost glad she did what she did.” Erik pulled back to give Charles an incredulous stare, which Charles instantly pouted at before hastening to continue, “I simply mean that, if it hadn’t been for her, I wouldn’t have come here - You wouldn’t have come here - and we might not have met again.” Erik frowned as he thought about that, and Charles chewed at his lower lip before adding, “My point is, I can’t imagine a future without you in my life – And I don’t even want to try.”

Maybe it’s the words, or maybe it’s the way that Charles blushes shyly after saying this, but Erik feels that the only adequate response is to tilt Charles’ face up so that he’s looking up into Erik’s. He trails his knuckles down Charles’ cheek reverently, and Charles’ eyelids flutter shut at the feeling before Erik brings their lips together in a slow and languid kiss.

---

At the age of thirty three, Erik Lensherr finally manages to return to Germany for the first time since he left it when he was a child. Somewhere deep in his mind, he’d always told himself that the reason he never felt at “home” in New York, Europe, or England was because Germany was, surely, home.

As he wanders through the streets of Düsseldorf though, Erik feels absolutely no connection to the ground beneath his feet. He feels no sudden camaraderie with the strangers walking past him, even if he does deign to greet the few that acknowledge him. He feels nothing at all like his ten year old self had believed he would and everything is wrong.

Erik has returned to the airport and is changing his ticket, fully intending to be home within the next twenty four hours. Now that he’s realised where “home” is, Erik doesn’t intend on leaving again.



The house is dark when the cab pulls up outside, but that’s to be expected considering the time. But then, as he continues to watch, Erik can see that, no, there is in fact a flickering lamp on in the library. The smile comes to Erik’s face automatically.

Heart pounding a little as he opens the door and abandons his suitcase in the hallway, Erik wastes no time in heading towards the library, taking care to tread quietly as he passes the kid’s rooms.

Slowly, he pushes the library door open, completely unable to fight off the tender look in his eye, or the smile on his face. Quietly, Erik makes his way across the room and presses his lips to his husband’s temple.

Charles jerks awake at the light touch and actually holds his book up as if he believes that will help defend himself from an attacker. As soon as he blinks the sleep out of his eyes, and realises who’s kneeling at his armchair, Charles smiles brightly.

“Erik!” he says delightedly, before his brows pull together with confusion. “What are you doing back? I’d thought you’d gone to Germany for a fortnight - It’s only been a day!”

Erik silences Charles questions by kissing him softly. “I realised the home I’d been searching for had been here all along,” he said, his hand coming up to play with the modified version of that woven ring he’d given to Charles all those years ago.

Charles simply beams down at him with that smile that lights up his whole face before he leans his forehead against Erik’s, his hands looping behind Erik’s neck as he does so.

The years had not been kind to them – They had broken up and gotten back together more times than Erik cared to remember. And neither of them had ended up in the professions they’d planned. Erik couldn’t bring himself to regret a single thing though - The break up’s had made their marriage of four years that much stronger, and he felt like he was doing some good with his life by helping Charles out in his school for gifted students – Which was just a polite way of saying people like them.

“Come to bed Charles,” Erik whispered, his breath ghosting over Charles’ ear, the feel of it eliciting a shiver from the other even after all this time. Before he could say even a word, Erik had picked him up – One arm winding around his back and the other settling into the crook of his knees. Charles’ lips spread into a smile as they brushed against Erik’s, his arms still twined around Erik’s neck.

“Welcome home, love,” he whispered before tugging Erik into a proper kiss.

Yeah, I’m home, Erik thought, and he was absolutely astounded it took him so long to realise that, as long as Charles was there, he would be.

~X~

And that is that! The end~! I hope whoever read that enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it <3 I honestly can't believe how long it ended up being considering I'd meant it to be a quick fluffy one-shot ... But I can't bring myself to regret the length XDD
Before I can hear an outcry about the length and the severe lack of porn, by the way ... I do, in fact, plan to write a little something-something set right before the start of this chapter. Fufufufu. But when I get to that ... Well, I'm not sure when that'll be just yet. I've got other writing obligations now that I've churned this out <33

Cherik Fanfiction: There is no Future Without You - 6/7

2011-11-17T16:14:09Z

Title: There is no Future Without You
Word Count: 5 234
Pairing: Cherik
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Rating: M ...? I'm honestly bad at figuring out what rating things should be - Just look at the warnings.
Warnings: Love of the homosexual nature. Implications of sexual situations. Oh, and swearing.
Summary: Charles and Erik were friends when they were children - Until certain circumstances tore them apart. Many years later, when Erik moves to England so that he can study at Oxford University, he certainly doesn't expect to run into his childhood friend again.In fact, he doesn't expect any of the events that follow.
Notes: This is something that I wrote for ile_o, who drew this amazingly cute fanart for me (Which can be found here), gushing about how much she wanted to see a fic where Charles and Erik meet as children - But with the age difference. And this is my response to that cos the image just wouldn't leave me alone. So, here it is darling, and I hope to the gods of Tuesday that you like it. >///<

Part One, Two, Three, Four, and Five

~X~

It was only once the other students began to return to Oxford that Erik realised something small, and undefinable had changed with his and Charles’ relationship. He couldn’t quite figure out what it was though, since they still did everything that they used to – Charles still invaded his room practically every night, and they still spent hours huddled on Erik’s bed watching movies, or TV shows, or whatever it was that Charles had decided to bring with him that night. They still played chess every Tuesday night, and they were still able to do their schoolwork in companionable silence.

It was just … Perhaps it was Erik’s imagination, or maybe it was simply that he was more aware of it now that Charles was wearing the threaded ring, but Charles seemed to touch Erik more than before. It was subtle, like a brush of fingers when they exchanged notes, or when they were watching movies and Charles shifted that little bit closer so that Erik’s focus moved from the movie to the body heat he could feel radiating from the other man. There were just a lot of things that Erik decided Charles couldn’t possibly be aware of.

In a lot of ways, it was driving Erik decidedly crazy – He couldn’t remember having to take this many long showers since he was a teenager – but at the same time, he was making a valiant effort to ignore it, certain that Charles didn’t even realise he was doing it.

There was also the fact that Erik couldn’t chase away the feeling that Charles was waiting for something. It wasn’t often that he felt it, but there were decidedly times – Like, when Erik would suddenly get the feeling he was being watched, and he’d look up from the chessboard to realise that Charles was watching him, a strange look in his eye, and his lips curled into a small smile – that he felt that Charles was waiting for something, felt it as surely as he could feel the metal in the room. It was just another of Charles’ quirks, Erik ended up deciding though and chose to ignore it in the same way that he ignores Charles’ constant presence in the back of his mind.

---

Erik was well aware that meeting Charles and that fight in the cafeteria had significantly lessened the hard-edge that had kept students away from him back in high school. He just hadn’t realised exactly how much it had lessened until February the fourteenth came around, and he opened his door that morning to see that there was a small pile of chocolates lying outside his room.

It wasn’t until Erik actually picked one up curiously that he realised with horror that he was receiving Valentines chocolate. His image had been dulled to the point that people actually felt confident enough to give him Valentines chocolate.

Charles simply laughed at him when Erik grouched about this over breakfast.

“It’s horrible! All these sappy letters professing love, but not a single one is brave enough to actually include who it’s from – Not that it would matter because I don’t even know anyone’s names unless you’ve forced me to become acquainted with them. But that’s beside the point! Not to mention, why do they all seem to think that Chocolate is the best thing to give someone? Nevermind the fact that anyone who knew me would know that I can’t stand sweets, what about the damage it does to ones teeth? Do they not have any regard for future effects?”

“Erik, you’re thinking about this entirely too much,” Charles chuckled, and the telepath was lucky that Erik was unbearably fond of him, or else he would have hit him for daring to laugh at his plight. “I happen to think it’s a romantic notion.”

For one split second, Erik was actually disappointed that he hadn’t thought to get Charles something for Valentines day then – Until he remembered that he was doing his damnedest to not let Charles know how he felt about him.

“Excuse me Erik, but I’ve got a lecture in ten minutes I don’t particularly want to be late for. Try not to abuse those who have the courage to tell you their feelings to your face, won’t you?” Charles suggested, his tone belying his amusement at the entire thing.

Charles was already walking out of the cafeteria before Erik yelled out “Tell me that’s not going to happen Charles! Please tell me that doesn’t happen!” Charles simply looked back over his shoulder to Erik with a smile on his face, before shrugging, and Erik paled considerably before he considered simply hiding in his room for the rest of the day.

‘No hiding Erik’, Charles thought at him, and Erik could feel the amusement in his words, and he scowled as he stabbed a bit of bacon with more force than was necessary, ‘That wouldn’t be fair to those wanting to enjoy the day. Oh, and be wary of the girl in the mini skirt by the way. Her plan is to corner you in the stairwell and thoroughly kiss you. Amusing that they don’t seem to realise that you’re gay.’

‘Shut up Charles. This is an absolute nightmare. Thank you oh so much for the warning’

Charles simply mentally laughed at him as Erik glared resentfully at the chair he’d been sitting in a few moments before. Erik made a point to avoid as many stairs as possible for the rest of that day.



Erik had been so focused on lamenting about his own misfortune, he’d forgotten to take into account that Charles might be going through the same treatment. This error in judgement occurred to him rather abruptly on his way from his third lecture to lunch. Or, more specifically, he was forced to come to realise this error when he stumbled upon the sight of Charles’ hand being held by some random guy in the hallway.

All of the doors on that floor suddenly jerked open, much to the student’s surprise. Erik didn’t even realise he’d lost control, he was too busy focusing on the way that Charles was blushing slightly, focusing on the fact that Charles was actually smiling a little as he was wooed by some irritating, human. Erik was entirely too focused on the fact that someone was even daring to hold Charles hand – And the one with the ring from Erik firmly on his finger, at that! – to even care that a few of the students were giving him bewildered stares as they rushed past.

He’d just started to march towards the two, when Charles looked over in his direction, and the way that his amused grin gave way to a wide, pleased smile managed to soothe a few of Erik’s ruffled feathers. It didn’t stop him from glaring at the sandy-haired guy who was still holding onto Charles’ hand though. Erik fought against the want to smile maliciously as the stranger dropped Charles’ hand, trying to return Erik’s glare. The human failed miserably to appear threatening when he visibly flinched as Erik flashed his teeth at him though.

“Charles,” Erik ground out through clenched teeth, trying to appear pleasant, if only so that Charles wouldn’t scold him for being rude. “I thought you were meant to be in a lecture right now.”

“The teacher was curiously absent today. They said he’s sick, but it’s a lie, of course. He just wanted to take his sweetheart out for Valentines. You can’t tell me that isn’t adorable.”

“Yes, yes, adorable. So, who’s your friend?” Erik asked, trying – and failing – to keep the growl out of his voice and Charles looked back over to the Sandy-haired guy who was starting to look a touch offended at the way he’d been ignored, or maybe interrupted. Erik didn’t really care, he just wanted the other guy to leave Charles alone.

“Oh,” Charles said, blushing slightly, “This is Nick,” and then his eyes turned big and apologetic, and Erik scowled as he watched. “I’m really sorry, but I can’t indulge you on your offer. I’m flattered that you would ask though.”

“Of course,” Nick said, his tone mildly affronted and his mud-brown eyes narrowing slightly as he continued to look down at Charles. Erik was tempted to take hold of the dog tags that were hanging around his neck and tighten them, and the sole reason why he didn’t was because Charles had stretched his fingers out so that they were resting on the back of Erik’s hand. It was amazing, and a touch frightening, how that simple gesture was enough to calm Erik down.

“I didn’t realise you were spoken for,” Nick said slowly, his eyes narrowing even more as his eyes flicked down to where Charles’ hand was resting against Erik’s, and Erik realised that although he knew it was simply Charles telling him to relax, to any onlookers … Charles didn’t really help that impression as he blushed a bright red at the insinuation.

“Oh. No, no, you misunderstand. That isn’t why -”

“Whatever,” Nick muttered, before stalking away, and Erik cocked his head with narrowed eyes. He could feel that there was metal on his shoes …

“Come on Charles, let’s get lunch,” he said, only partially paying attention to the man beside him as he focused his mind on the metal he could feel retreating.

As soon as Charles said, “Yes, alright,” a blush still on his cheeks as he turned to head towards the cafeteria, Erik pulled the metal in Nick’s shoes out from under him, allowing himself a moment of vindictive pleasure as he saw the other man fall flat on his face.

Charles, of course, looked up at him reproachfully. “That wasn’t very nice Erik.”

Erik simply shrugged, “He was rude to you,” he said, and Charles smiled a little as he shook his head.

“What am I going to do with you?” he sighed, and Erik had to bite on the inside of his cheek to stop the several inappropriate responses that came to mind.


During his next lecture though, Erik paid hardly any attention. He simply sat there, twirling his pen through his fingers, with a frown on his face.

Nick had brought a problem to the forefront of Erik’s mind, one he hadn’t even considered before - Somebody could potentially take Charles away from him. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind, considering Charles spent all his free time with Erik anyway. But, Charles was a caring person and had a big heart, so it was entirely possible that Charles could come to fall in love with someone … Someone who wasn’t Erik.

The mere thought was enough for him to gnash his teeth together. Already he wanted to kill the one who was foolish enough to try and steal Charles away, and it was simply a hypothetical scenario.

As he thought about it, Erik realised that there were often times when he’d look at the younger man and realise that Charles was blushing with a fond smile on his face, and Erik’s blood turned cold at the thought. What if there was someone Charles cared for and Erik simply had no idea?

Erik realised then and there that he’d been naïve if he’d thought he’d be able to get away without telling Charles the way he’d felt. A fool to think that things would have been able to continue on the way they had because, as much as Erik was terrified that Charles would decide he couldn’t continue a friendship with Erik because the feelings weren’t mutual … It would be more painful to simply be his friend and watch him fall in love with someone else. The very idea was one that Erik couldn’t stand to consider.

With a shuddering breath, Erik promised himself that he would tell Charles soon. He just needed some time to figure out how, what he should say exactly, how much he should say ... The very concept of telling Charles his little secret was enough to make Erik’s heart race with anticipation, and no small amount of anxiety.

Lost in thought as he was, Erik didn’t realise that the lecture had finished and that it was simply himself and one other student left in the classroom. A student that had sat there chewing at his lower lip, and watching Erik with a terrified expression on his face for the past five minutes

Sucking in a steadying breath, the dark haired man gathered enough courage to actually come to stand in front of Erik’s desk. Erik didn’t even react until they stuttered, “Erik? Uh, Erik Lensherr?”

Half sighing-Half growling as he was broken out of his thoughts, Erik looked up at the dark haired student with a deep scowl on his face. He was given very little chance to do much more than that though before the other student had taken advantage of the height difference and had pressed his lips to Erik’s.

As for Erik, he was completely taken by surprise at the sudden assault. So much so that he simply sat there for a few seconds blinking with shock, a little startled that someone would invade his space so thoroughly. He was so caught in his surprise that Erik didn’t realise somebody had come to an abrupt halt in the doorway before they ducked back out of sight.

And then Erik realised with a jolt that he was being kissed by someone he didn’t even know, someone who definitely wasn’t Charles, and he wasted no time in introducing his fist to the other student’s face.

“First of all,” he snapped as the dark haired man looked over at Erik, licking at his split lip, “if you’re gonna kiss someone, you should damn well make sure they’re interested first. Second, I’m not.”

“I know that,” the dark haired man muttered, and it only served to further irritate Erik, so much so that he almost punched him again.

“Why the hell would you do it then?” he snarled, instead.

The man simply shrugged his shoulders and said, “I had to try, and it seemed like the only time to try since you’re always accompanied by that Xavier kid.”

Erik simply looked at the other man with disgust before he snatched up his bag and stormed out of the room, fuming at the audacity of people as he went. Erik didn’t even realise he was rubbing at his lips with the edge of his shirt as he went.

As soon as he stepped out of the classroom though, he felt a ring that had become all too familiar to him in recent times, and he inexplicably felt a twinge of guilt as he saw Charles standing there.

Charles’ expression was clouded and his mouth a tight little frown as he looked down at his shoes, one foot actually scuffing at the floor, which Erik had never seen him do before. After a moment, Erik realised he actually looked angry, and his feeling of guilt only intensified, even though he had no reason to feel guilty.

“Charles…” Erik said, unsure of what he was going to say – And really, what was there he could say? I’m sorry that some guy forced himself on me? That wasn’t something Erik should have to apologise for.

“I … I’m not really sure what to say,” Charles spoke, and his voice was some strange mix between annoyed, and upset, and it did funny things to Erik’s heart.

“Why you’re here when you’re meant to be in class, could be a start?” Erik found himself saying, and he realised at the sudden glare that Charles shot him that his tone was actually defensive. Oh, buggering hell.

“I’m here, because I saw that you were zoning out and completely unaware of the fact that you were about to get molested. I came to try and stop it,” Charles snapped, drawing himself up to his full height, and a few people passing by actually started walking slower as they watched, sensing a fight. Erik was too incensed to care. Charles’ tone had been accusatory, and that was entirely uncalled for, in Erik’s opinion.

“Then you’d also be aware that I’d been taken by surprise,” he snapped back.

“You certainly looked as though you were enjoying it!”

Erik opened his mouth to snarl about idiocy when the guy he’d punched sidled past, pausing to give Erik a wistful look, and Charles a curious glare. Charles, much to Erik’s surprise, actually bared his teeth at the dark haired student before he hissed in a frosty tone, “Leave,” and, for a change, it wasn’t Erik that someone was running away from.

With raised eyebrows, he looked back down at Charles, and realised that there was more to the situation than he knew. Charles’ overbright eyes something of a give away. “Charles, what-,” he started to ask, but the shorter man cut him off.

“You really have no idea, do you Erik?” he muttered with a soft sigh, before sweeping around and walking away, leaving Erik standing there in the hallway calling out “Charles!” and feeling distinctly uncomfortable as all eyes swivelled from Charles’ retreating form, to look at him instead.

Erik’s cheeks flushed a little as the undeniable feeling of shame swept through him, and he growled at the onlookers before storming away in the opposite direction that Charles had gone, choosing to wander the campus instead of retreating to his room.

Somehow, Erik couldn’t shake the idea that he was missing something. There was something that should be obvious that he simply wasn’t seeing, and it was infuriating.

---

In the days that followed, Charles was exceptionably irritable, to say the least.

He’d taken to glaring at whoever came near their table with surprising vehemence, even as he smiled politely at them, which was a rather unsettling combination to see. Each time that he did, Erik was caught somewhere between being proud of the fire behind that glare, and frustration because he couldn’t understand why Charles was suddenly glaring at everyone. It was unlike him.

Then there was also the way that, even though Charles still came to Erik’s room for movie nights, he seemed to make a point to sit in the corner of the bed furthest away from where Erik had seated himself. As if that wasn’t peculiar enough after months of having Charles so close he could feel his body heat, the two hardly spoke in this time. Once, it felt so awkward that Erik ended up kicking Charles out after an hour, claiming he needed sleep. Charles didn’t even protest, he simply nodded and bade Erik a good night.

Everything was just strange. Whenever Erik tried to question him about it though, Charles would turn his newly perfected glare on him before sighing, “It’s nothing Erik,”, and then proceeded to gather his things and leave for a class – It wasn’t until the third time that this happened that Erik realised Charles had finished his classes for the day, and it just added to the whole feeling that something was wrong.

Then there were those words that Charles had said before walking away from him. You really have no idea, do you Erik? They kept coming back to Erik’s mind when he was least expecting them – Like when he was lying in bed at night trying to fall asleep. A task that would then be abandoned as Erik thought, and thought, trying to figure out what Charles meant. He would be just as clueless when the sun rose though.

By the end of the week, it was driving him absolutely mental. So much so, that Erik had complained to Azazel about it during one of the rare times when the red mutant actually made use of the room that was also his.

“It’s infuriating,” he said, pacing around the room as he spoke, “I can’t even figure out what brought it on – Though I know it started after that wretched Valentines day. But outside of that … And it’s just – It’s not Charles, and I don’t have any idea about how to fix it because he refuses to talk about it!”

Azazel suddenly snapped his book shut, and Erik jumped a little at the sound. In the middle of his ranting, he’d almost forgotten he was actually talking to a person. The other mutant took a deep breath before he fixed Erik with a glare that rivalled one of Erik’s on a bad day, which was really saying something.

“You are quite possibly the densest person that I have ever met Lensherr. Even a toddler couldn’t be as clueless as you when it comes to understanding people and their reactions,” Erik opened his mouth to protest, but silenced himself at the look that Azazel gave him. The red-skinned mutant leaned forward in his chair a little as he spoke, his tone soft but firm, “So, allow me to enlighten you on a little something - Charles is jealous,” the hell demon stated.

“Pardon?” Erik asked, his eyebrow arching with scepticism.

“You heard me. He’s jealous – And if you’d pay attention, it wouldn’t be difficult to figure out why,” Azazel fixed Erik with one last glare before, very pointedly, opening his book again.

Erik perched himself on the bed with a frown on his face. Charles was … Jealous? The very idea was laughable and begged the question, what over?

Cocking his head as he thought, Erik understood that something must have happened on that nightmare of a day earlier in the week, it had been since then that Charles had been irritable after all. He’d been fine at breakfast though – Erik could only too well remember the mirth with which he’d laughed at Erik’s frustration. And he’d been alright at lunch, though he had spent much of it berating Erik for tripping up that Sandy-Haired guy who’s name Erik had made a point to forget.

The only other time Erik had seen Charles that day was after that incident with the guy in his mathematics class. And he had seemed annoyed before Erik had even stepped out of that classroom, which meant that the only conclusion that Erik could see was that something had happened between lunch and then. Something that had upset Charles enough he’d been withdrawn and moody for the past few days.

When he took the day into account, Erik supposed that meant, in all likelihood – Erik’s heart stalled a little at the realisation – Charles did in fact have someone that he cared for and something had happened with that person. It was possible that Charles had walked in on them being confessed to, or maybe Charles had professed his feelings for them and been shot down?

With a groan, Erik ran a hand through his hair. Fan-fucking-tastic. Now, not only did he want to kill some unknown person for numerous reasons, he also felt like shit at the realisation that Charles hadn’t even wanted to speak to him about this. He wasn’t sure if he should be feeling affronted, or relieved at that.

As he thought about it though, Charles’ cryptic words made more sense if he considered this revelation – But how could Erik possibly know about Charles’ feelings towards another if he’d never mentioned them before? Charles was the telepath among them, not Erik.

“Come to an understanding have you?” Azazel asked.

“You could say that,” Erik muttered, trying to ignore the feeling of lead settling in his stomach. Now wasn’t the time to be feeling sorry for himself. Now that he realised what Charles’ problem was, Erik needed to be the friend Charles thought him to be, and if that meant being there while Charles told him all about this unknown person that held his heart – Erik swallowed the lump in his throat – then that was what Erik would be. Even if it killed him a little bit inside.

So, it was with reluctance that Erik focused on the ring that Charles wore, and followed the feel of it to one of the lesser used sections of the large library that Oxford offered. There, he found Charles looking out a window, his arms folded across his stomach and his fingers tapping a rhythm against his elbow, a move that suggested at his underlying tension.

Erik didn’t say anything as he leant up against the wall beside the window Charles was gazing out of. From the way that Charles’ eyes flicked over towards him, and the way that Charles’ presence in Erik’s mind fluttered, he knew that Charles was aware the fact that he was there.

And, frankly speaking, Erik had no idea what he was meant to say in situations like this. He’d never needed to assert the fact that Charles could talk to him before – Normally, it wasn’t a problem. Usually, Charles would prattle on regardless of whether Erik wanted to listen or not – So, Erik was at a complete loss about what he was supposed to say to get Charles to start talking about this particular thing, and he didn’t even know whether Charles wanted to talk. Frowning as he waited, Erik had to wonder, if things were starting to get confusing in his own head, how was he meant to voice them?

In the end, it was Charles who broke the silence. “Forgive me, my friend, I haven’t been the best of company of late, have I?” he sighed, a rueful smile on his face as he turned that little bit to look over at Erik.

Erik simply shrugged, still unsure about what he should say – How did he go about trying to convince Charles that it was okay for him to talk about what was troubling him? That Erik wouldn’t think any less of him for it?

The concern was momentarily driven from his mind as Charles smiled though, and the sadness behind that smile made Erik want to find the asshole who was putting Charles through this torture and beat him senseless. Charles turned back towards the window and was silent for another few moments, before he heaved another sigh and shook his head.

With a smile plastered on his face that Erik could tell was fake, he said in an equally fake-nonchalant voice, “I’m sorry Erik, but I’m feeling rather exhausted so I’m just going to go back to bed for a while. I’ll stop by later tonight, alright?”

Erik wasn’t entirely sure what came over him, but as Charles started to walk away, looking for all the world as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, the metal-bender’s hand shot out and grasped his wrist of its own accord, tugging the smaller man to halt. Charles, naturally enough, looked over at Erik with confusion in his eyes, and, maybe it was just Erik’s imagination, but he also seemed a little afraid.

Before Erik knew it, the words he’d been searching for began to tumble from his lips. “Charles, I know that I’m not the most sympathetic of people, and I know that we disagree on a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me about the things that trouble you. Even if I don’t like it, and even if it pisses me off, I’ll still listen, no matter what it is - I love you too much to be able to stand seeing you like this anymore. So, please, tell me what’s bothering you – If only so I can find the asshole responsible and hurt them in ways you couldn’t imagine.”

Erik was too busy looking at Charles earnestly to realise the words he’d just said, he was much too busy thinking about the different ways he was going to punish whoever dared to upset Charles this much, and in some part of his mind, he was realising that this was probably how Moira had felt earlier in the year.

It was only when Charles’ mouth popped open into a small ‘o’ of surprise, when those expressive blue eyes widened and a blush spread across Charles’ cheeks that Erik thought to wonder what it was that he’d said.

“Say that again?” Charles requested, a little breathlessly as he took a step towards Erik, and Erik frowned as he thought back through he’d just said.

“Er – I’ll maim whoever has hurt you?”

Charles smiled with amusement, and if Erik hadn’t been so relieved to see Charles smiling properly again, he might be worried about the influence he’d had on the younger man.

“Before that.”

“Oh, well – Um. … You can talk to me about anything?” Erik’s eyebrow arched with confusion. Confusion that simply increased as Charles chuckled softly and took another step towards Erik, standing close enough now that the toes of their shoes were brushing.

“Not that either. The part in between,” and Charles’ voice was still a little breathless, which would have concerned Erik if it weren’t for the fact that Charles was genuinely smiling as he looked up at the older man, his blue eyes positively sparkling in the afternoon sun.

It took Erik a few seconds before he realised what Charles was talking about, and when he did, he blushed a little bit. He hadn’t even realised that had slipped in there.

“I love you,” he said softly, and Charles’ grin widened into an absolutely blinding smile, which contradicted Erik’s expectations of being told ‘I’m sorry my friend, I can’t return your feelings’ so thoroughly, he was momentarily thrown.

Erik only had a second to wonder about the vastly different reaction, before Charles had taken hold of Erik’s face between his palms, levered himself up onto his tip toes and placed a soft, lingering kiss to still mystified man’s lips.

“What took you so long?” Charles breathed, still so close that Erik could feel his breath against his mouth, and the question was what finally broke him out of his stupor.

Erik practically growled as he pulled Charles’ hips flush against his own – something that earned him a startled squeak - before claiming those red lips and thoroughly kissing the other man, one hand coming up to thread in those chocolate locks as Charles’ arms wound tightly around his neck.

“Fucking hell Charles. You should have said something,” Erik hissed between feverish kisses.

“I could say the same to you,” Charles retorted before pushing up against Erik with enough force that the two of them were driven into the wall behind. Neither one particularly cared though as Charles’ arms shifted so that he could tangle his hands in Erik’s hair, while Erik’s hands slid down that little bit lower to gain a better hold.

“Erik. Room. Now,” Charles ground out, only to suck on Erik’s lower lip provocatively, and it took all of Erik’s willpower to not moan at the feel - at the suggestion that had just fallen from Charles’ kiss-swollen mouth as he looked up at Erik from beneath his lashes.

As it was, he was sure they looked a sight as they fled the library, neither of them caring enough that they’d run with their hands twined. After months upon months of craving the man that was running along with him, his mouth an overjoyed smile as he did so, the last thing Erik could care about was what the other students thought as they watched the two men bolt past.

~X~

To the last one - part 7

Cherik Fanfiction: There is no Future Without You - 5/7

2011-11-17T15:59:43Z

Title: There is no Future Without You
Word Count: 5 566
Pairing: Cherik
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Rating: M ...? I'm honestly bad at figuring out what rating things should be - Just look at the warnings.
Warnings: Love of the homosexual nature. Implications of sexual situations. Oh, and swearing.
Summary: Charles and Erik were friends when they were children - Until certain circumstances tore them apart. Many years later, when Erik moves to England so that he can study at Oxford University, he certainly doesn't expect to run into his childhood friend again.In fact, he doesn't expect any of the events that follow.
Notes: This is something that I wrote for ile_o, who drew this amazingly cute fanart for me (Which can be found here), gushing about how much she wanted to see a fic where Charles and Erik meet as children - But with the age difference. And this is my response to that cos the image just wouldn't leave me alone. So, here it is darling, and I hope to the gods of Tuesday that you like it. >///<

Part One, Two, Three and Four

~X~

A week had passed since Christmas, and Charles still refused to take the decorations down, and Erik simply didn’t care enough to make him. They made Charles happy and, as much as Erik hated admitting it, seeing Charles happy had a tendency to make him happy.

Which was precisely why Erik was in the local grocer’s at that time, hunting through the shelves for that particular brand of ice-cream that Charles favoured. It was possible that if he hadn’t been there, the events that followed wouldn’t have happened. But fate seemed to enjoy throwing curveballs at him.

It wasn’t until he was almost back at Charles’ mansion that Erik realised he was being followed. There was that distinctive sound to someone’s footsteps when they were following you, and the person behind Erik had that tone. Naturally, he would be followed home the one time Erik had been forced to use his every coin to pay for the groceries.

Slowly, he turned to look over his shoulder to assess the one following him, to decide whether he’d be able to take them on physical strength alone. Erik was completely startled, and, frankly, a little bit afraid, when he realised the one following him was none other than the one he’d come to England to avoid.

“Shaw,” Erik greeted, his eyes narrowing as he reached out to whatever metal he could find. The fire hydrant – That’ll be useful.

Shaw simply smiled pleasantly at him as though it hadn’t been a year since they’d parted and began to walk towards Erik, looking every bit a panther toying with its prey. “Erik. Dear Erik, I’ve been wondering where you’d vanished to.”

“I intended it that way,” Erik replied, trying to keep his tone neutral and mask any intimidation he felt at Shaw’s presence.. He remembered how unpredictable Shaw’s temper could be, and he would rather this ended without bloodshed.

‘Erik, you need to come back. Right now. You can’t take him alone.’ Charles was whispering to him, a distinct concern to his presence.

‘It’s not that simple with Shaw, Charles.’
            ‘
Then I’m coming out.’ Erik’s stomach plummeted to the ground and his mouth went dry at the thought of Charles meeting Shaw face to face, and he knew then that he needed to find out what Shaw wanted, and fast. He couldn’t let Charles get mixed up in this.

“What is it that you’re looking for, Shaw?”

“How cold and distant of you Erik! I must admit, meeting you here was a surprise, but it’s a pleasant one, right?” Shaw asked, his mouth stretching into that maniacal grin, and with that alone Erik knew that this meeting was not going to end peacefully.

“I can’t say that I return the sentiment, unfortunately.” Metal, metal … There had to be something nearby he could make use of. Oh, there was an iron fence a few houses down. That could help if things became dire.

“Erik, you didn’t really think I’d let you slip out of my grasp did you?” Shaw was saying as he stood a few paces away from Erik, a chill to his voice now and Erik understood that he’d pissed him off. He could see it in those cold, emotionless eyes, “After all the effort I spent to bring you to me in the first place?”

The words took Erik completely by surprise, and though he could hear Charles saying ‘Ignore him. Ignore it. He’s just trying to bait you. Wait Erik, please. I’m almost there,’ Erik’s green-grey eyes still narrowed suspiciously.

“I came to Brooklyn cos that’s where the police dumped me. It certainly wasn’t by your power.”

Shaw’s grin, if possible, stretched even further, and Erik knew he was being baited, knew that Shaw was leading him down a path, and that Erik was following that path magnificently, but he could also feel a nagging sensation somewhere in his mind. Like he was on the verge of discovering something important.

‘Don’t listen. Please don’t listen.’

“Ah, you mean you still don’t know? I have to say I’m actually disappointed Erik. Did you lose your drive for revenge then?” ‘Don’t listen to him. Don’t listen to him. Almost – I’m just around the corner’. “So you won’t care if I tell you it was me who killed your mother then?”

The earth stood still, Erik’s mind came to a complete halt. He couldn’t even feel Charles anymore as the words pounded through him. It was me who killed your mother. Me who killed your mother. Killed your mother. And Erik saw that day again, saw the blood spatters on the wall, felt the anguish all over again. The police files he stole came swimming to his mind, he remembered that the autopsy had said she’d been brutally tortured, before finally receiving a bullet to the head. All those years he’d spent searching, wanting vengeance – And he’d been instead protecting the bastard who’d done it?

“You – Fucking – Why,” Erik snarled

“Because I wanted you, of course.” Erik didn’t even hear the rest of what Shaw was saying, his blood was pounding in his ears too loudly. He could hear Charles all but yelling No Erik, no! He’s not worth it. Not worth it, but Charles didn’t understand – How could he? His father had died by an accident. His mother had been murdered – The one person he’d had in his life had been murdered, and all because this son of a bitch had “wanted” Erik? For what, his power?

An animalistic growl ripped its way from Erik’s throat as he wrenched the iron bars off the gate, fully intending of ramming them down Shaw’s throat. Each and every fucking one of them.

Shaw simply smirked as if things had gone according to plan – and maybe they had, but Erik didn’t care right then. He was going to avenge his mother’s death. – before he began to run in the opposite direction, Erik following after him with single-minded determination.

Erik could feel that Charles was gaining on them, he could feel the ring slowly coming closer, and he still didn’t care. The only acknowledgement that Erik gave the telepath was ‘Stay the fuck away Charles ‘as he proceeded to chase Shaw down, hurling the bars like javelins as he went, only to pick them back up as he passed.

And Shaw was laughing as he went, somehow dancing around the bars that Erik was throwing as if he’d developed a new mutation in Erik’s absence, “Come now Erik, Surely I trained you better than that? Or has your new telepath made you weak?”

If Erik had been seeing red before, his entire self became red at the fact that Shaw was even daring to comment about Charles.

“You know nothing,” he hissed, bending the bars and hurling them in a curving arc like boomerangs, hoping to knock Shaw’s feet out from beneath him. Still Shaw managed to dodge them, and Erik let loose a roar of frustration.

All of a sudden, Shaw stopped moving, and Erik automatically skidded to a halt himself, suspecting a trick. But it wasn’t that Shaw had stopped running, Erik realised and he stood there, tense and waiting, it was that he had actually been stopped, like someone had hit a giant pause button.

Behind him came heavy panting, and Erik would have thrown one of the iron bars at the noise instinctually if he hadn’t felt the ring that Charles was wearing.

“I thought I told you not to come!”

“Erik, please just be quiet. I can’t hold him like this for long. I need you to bind his arms.”

Realising that, whatever Charles was doing, Shaw was absolutely no threat, Erik watched his frozen form thoughtfully, a bar drifted through that air as he did so. If not for Charles, he wouldn’t even hesitate to kill him – How long had he spent dreaming about exacting his revenge on his mother’s killer? And here was the perfect opportunity, the killer unable to move even a muscle. And yet, infuriatingly, Erik was reluctant to let Charles see him in that light.

“I should just kill him,” he said slowly, circling around to look into Shaw’s frozen face as he went, feeling the anger and years of pain well up deep inside of him.

“No. No Erik. Killing Shaw won’t bring you peace.”

Erik barely even looked over at Charles as he spoke, “What if ‘peace’ was never an option? Because of this arsehole, my mother is dead.”

“I appreciate that Erik, and I can understand your want, truly I can. Shaw ordered your mother’s death, and he wasn’t even man enough to do the job himself. But you need to be the better man Erik, you can’t let yourself sink to his level. You’re so much better than that, and this is the time to prove that.”

Charles’ eyes were wide and pleading, but Erik was too focused on Charles’ words to even breathe. As much as that explains why he’d never suspected Shaw had a hand in his mother’s demise … How did Charles …?

For the second time that day, Erik world felt as though it had just upended itself. “How can you possibly know that?” he asked in a dangerously low hiss, his eyes locking onto Charles’ form, and the guilty look that flickered over Charles’ face was enough to make Erik take a step back as if he’d just been sucker punched.

“Erik, can we please discuss this some other time. My control is slipping,” Charles panted, and Erik could see the bead of sweat as it made its way down Charles’ brow, could see how difficult Charles was finding it to keep Shaw frozen, and, for the first time since becoming reacquainted with his childhood friend, he didn’t care – couldn’t bring himself to. Not with the realisation that Charles had kept information about the death of his mother to himself. Erik felt as though he’d been betrayed, and considering how few people he let get close to him as it was, that was entirely unacceptable.

“No. We’re not discussing this,” he hissed softly, and Charles’ eyes widened to the point that he looked like he’d just been slapped. It was enough to make Erik nigh desperate to get away, as if he wasn’t already at that point.

His hands moving automatically, Erik twisted an iron bar around Shaw’s arms and legs to ensure the bastard couldn’t escape – Let Charles do with him what he saw fit - and then he did something he had thought previously unthinkable. Erik pulled another bar up and held the tip of it tight against Charles’ throat, looking at the man he’d come to love with cold and detached eyes.

“Get out of my mind – Completely,” Erik growled, and the bar was held so tightly against Charles’ throat that he could feel the telepath’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, his eyes still entirely too wide, yet strangely devoid of fear.

It was positively killing Erik that he was being forced to do this, turn his powers against Charles like this – But how could he trust Charles again after the younger man had just revealed himself privy to information about the murder of his mother? How could he have kept that to himself, knowing what it had meant to Erik?

As he felt Charles withdraw, leaving Erik’s mind his own once again, he ruefully thought he should have expected it. Should have expected something like this would happen. He had always thought that Charles was entirely too innocent, and too trusting. Erik had always suspected he’d end up doing something that would break him – And he could see that it was; He could see it in the firm line that was Charles’ mouth, in the way his eyebrows had curled in on themselves. He could see it in those ridiculously large, blue eyes as they searched Erik’s beseechingly.

It was just fucking annoying that walking away the way he was about to was breaking him too.

The second Erik felt an emptiness where Charles’ presence had lingered, he started backing away, his grey-green eyes locked on Charles as he went, his expression a mask of cool indifference. His eyes flicked over to the still-frozen Shaw, and he wanted, oh how he wanted to tighten those iron bars to the point that they actually crushed the man into pieces. But he didn’t, he couldn’t bring himself to. Possibly because Charles was right there, and his eyes were still searching Erik’s face for something unseen, seemingly unaware that there was a tear rolling down his cheek… Or possibly because Charles’ words Be the better man were still resounding in his head.

Whichever it was, Erik simply walked away. He walked until he could no longer see Charles, and then he ran until he could only just feel the metal that he’d been holding to Charles’ throat – which he quickly allowed to fall to the ground – and he ran some more, until he couldn’t feel a single band of metal that was wrapped around Charles’ finger.

---

It was weeks before Erik finally stopped running. Weeks before he realised that he couldn’t run anymore – He’d used up all his savings and could no longer afford to rent out cheap, motel rooms. Couldn’t even afford to buy himself something to eat, or another beer to try and help the pain. Not to mention he was in desperate need of a shave.

And so, it was with great reluctance that Erik caught the bus t hat would take him back to Oxford University, his stomach clenching uncomfortably the entire way. Not that Erik needed to worry about running into anyone, it was still summer break and the campus was practically empty. In some ways, that just made it worse.

He was almost disappointed, but mostly unsurprised, when he opened his room to find that everything he’d taken to Charles’ was sitting neatly on the lower bunk, including the things he received for Christmas. There was no note to be found among his things - no heartfelt apology for keeping something like knowledge about his mother’s killer to himself, not even an irritated little message telling him that he didn’t understand, and that annoyed Erik in ways he knew it shouldn’t, all things considered.

But then Erik saw the woven ring sitting atop his desk, and Erik’s chest suddenly felt as though it had been ripped open. The breath was knocked out of him, and he fell onto the lower bunk with his head nestled in his hands, trying to calm the trembling of his shoulders.

How had everything gone from being so right, to so wrong in such a short time?

---

Several more weeks pass in which Erik all but throws himself into his schoolwork, so much so that his professors start sending him emails that tell him that ‘As much as I admire your enthusiasm Erik – I’m on holiday. You should be too’, and when he runs out of work he can do without the teacher’s assistance, Erik goes to the gym and trains. He trains and beats the boxing bag into a pulp until his knuckles hurt, and then he trains some more.

When he tires of the gym, Erik moves to the library – making a point to ignore that corner with the chess set that had been abandoned - and devours each and every book on Electrical theory, or magnetical theory, or anything even remotely related to those, starting from ‘A’ and working himself through the Alphabet.

Erik is fully aware that he’s behaving like a madman, doing everything in his power to keep himself busy, but he can’t help it. If he lets himself stop, he starts to think, and if he starts to think, he starts to think about Charles, and then he starts to mope, which is entirely unacceptable.

He’s just about to start to read the first book under “O”, when he turns around and is met by an infuriated Moira MacTaggert. Erik can practically see her hair bristling as she shoves him back into the bookcase.

“What did you do to him?” she demands, completely bypassing all small talk, and Erik, for just a moment, admires this, before he realises she’s making it sound like he was the one who had been in the wrong.

“I didn’t do a single thing, perhaps you should be asking -”

“Don’t fuck with me Lensherr. I will maim you in so many ways before finally killing you, you’d think that death was a mercy. So tell me what it was that you did to him, right now, if only so I can make a punishment that fits.”

It’s the vehemence behind her words, the desperation in her eyes, that makes Erik realise that maybe, just maybe, something is actually wrong with Charles, and the thought completely chases away all thoughts of ‘wronged’ and ‘betrayed’.

“What’s wrong with him?”

Moira’s glare intensifies before pushing Erik into the bookcase again, and if it weren’t for the fact that she was simply a pathetic human that Charles was fond of, Erik might actually push her back.

“Why don’t you tell me, Lensherr? He hardly eats, does little more than sleep, keeps sighing about ‘Screwing everything up’, and refuses to leave his room! Raven forced him to come back here early hoping that I’d be able to help him, and nothing has! Nothing is working, and seeing as it was simply you and Raven he spent his holiday with, suffice to say, the problem must lie with you – So fix it,” Moira stopped for a moment, breathing heavily and Erik looking at her with wide, bewildered eyes, before she suddenly burst into tears, burying her face in her hands, which Erik thought might be even worse than her aggressive questioning.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but you’re the only one that means enough to make him react this way, so, please fix it. He hasn’t been himself for weeks, and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Erik sighed softly as he made a point to ignore Moira’s blubbering. On the one hand, he was concerned about the fact that Charles was clearly neglecting his health, but on the other …

Apparently, his concern for Charles outweighed the fact that he was still mad at him.

“Alright. Alright, fine. Just, shut up already,” Erik growled, and Moira looked at him resentfully through her watery eyes, though Erik was relieved the obnoxious sobbing had stopped. “I’ll see him, but don’t expect it to be magically better because of that. If anything, it’ll probably just make things worse,” he muttered as he stalked away and up to Charles’ room, feeling heavier with each and every step, completely unaware that Moira was smirking victoriously at his retreating back.



By the time that Erik came to stand before room 404, he was wondering how exactly Moira had managed to convince him to come here in the first place. Even if it had bothered him that Charles wasn’t well … Did that overwrite what Erik saw as a betrayal?

He took a steadying breath before pulling the flimsy lock aside and entered the room nevertheless though.

When Erik first caught sight of Charles, he was immensely glad he had come after all, because he couldn’t recall a time when he’d seen Charles look less refined than he looked right then.

His hair was a right mess and looked as though it hadn’t been brushed in weeks, sticking up at odd angles that Erik was irrationally inclined to smooth down. His eyes were watery and red-rimmed, and looked very much like he hadn’t left the bed.

The thing that convinced Erik he’d done the right thing by coming by, however, was the fact that Charles was wearing what was clearly one of Erik’s turtleneck sweaters. Even as Charles looked over at him reproachfully from the nest of blankets he was nestled in, the sight of Charles in his turtleneck spoke more than words could – It didn’t even occur to Erik to wonder how Charles had got his hands on one of them.

“And what brings you here?” Charles muttered, pointedly rolling over so that his back was facing Erik. Erik simply swallowed a sigh and sat down with his back resting against the bedframe.

"Moira demanded I come ‘fix you’,” Erik said blandly, not even bothering to try and cover for the girl. Charles would find out eventually anyway, and it wasn’t as though Erik was inclined to help her out, even if he did respect her a slight amount more now that he’d seen what she was willing to do for someone she cared about … Though the crying had still been annoying.

“I don’t need ‘fixing’, thankyou very much. I’m perfectly fine.”

“Oh, yes. And you look it too Charles. Tell me, when was the last time you bathed?”

Erik raised his eyebrows and cocked his head towards Charles’ form as the silence stretched on, the very silence emanating off the other man screaming ‘Irritation’. Still, Erik sat there waiting, deciding that now that he was here … They may as well get this over with. He rather missed Charles’ presence, now that he was allowing himself to think about it.

Eventually, Charles huffed before saying softly, “There was a reason why I never told you, by the way. And it wasn’t because I was keeping things from you, or anything equally asinine that I’m sure you’ve accused me of. I was going to tell you …” Scowling heavily, Erik opened his mouth to retort angrily, but Charles pre-empted that by raising his voice, “I was afraid, okay? I was just fucking afraid.”

The confession startled Erik enough that his anger was temporarily replaced with surprise. In all the time he’d known Charles, he’d never known him to be afraid, and the very idea of Charles being afraid of anything was unsettling. Slowly, Erik asked, “Of what?” his tone still uncertain.

“Of what would happen if I told you.” Erik had to bite down on his tongue to stop himself from saying anything as his temper flared. Instead, he waited for Charles to explain himself. Hesitantly, Charles did just that, “I knew that if I told you, you’d hunt Shaw down. You’d have thrown everything away for the chance of revenge, and I wanted more for you than that. Was that so wrong?”

“It wasn’t your choice to make Charles.”

“And what if I’d told you Erik, what then? You go hunt down Shaw, kill him and then end up being locked away for life because you’re a dangerous mutant? No my friend, I wasn’t going to let you suffer that fate – I care for you too darn much for something like that.”

Erik’s mouth had just opened to growl about his life and his choices, when it closed again with a stunned snap. There was a sudden protectiveness emanating off Charles’ back, the kind of which that Erik had only ever felt coming from him when Raven had been harassed by some bigoted frat boys. To realise that Charles felt that way about him too was flattering, to say the least.

“… You still shouldn’t have kept it from me,” Erik repeated, feeling his will to fight dissipating. Charles still refused to face him though, and Erik had to fight the sudden urge to pull on the younger man’s shoulder, to force him to look Erik in the eye.

“Would you like to know what happened to Shaw because you chose not to kill him?” Charles asked, continuing on before Erik had a chance to answer, or comment on his choice of words, “He was the one imprisoned for life as the dangerous mutant. Because they had him, they were able to link him to several more deaths – ones that span over the past few decades, in fact.”

Frowning as he considered that information, Erik turned to look at Charles’ back with a suspicious look in his eye. “You knew about that how?”

And Charles seemed to understand that Erik wasn’t only referring to the numerous deaths Shaw had been behind, because he shifted uncomfortably beneath his blanket-nest before he sighed heavily. “I must admit, I haven’t been entirely honest with you. Shaw was, in fact, the reason why I thought it imperative Raven and I relocated here to England.”

“Explain.”

“Your charming friend Miss Frost, young as she was, made the mistake of telling him about Raven and myself … and you. Shaw wanted Raven, wanted her power, and, from what Frost had told him, he knew that he could control her through me, and me through you. It was all part of an elaborate plot that tell of his years, really. Because he’d been able to successfully take you under his wing, he’d thought it time to ‘collect’ Raven and I.”

Erik’s hands had clenched into fists as he listened to Charles’ explanation. He was going to kill that damned woman when he saw her next – As soon as he found out where she was. All of this, because she hadn’t known to keep that damnable mouth of hers shut. A hand on his shoulder broke through the murderous thoughts though, and Erik looked over his shoulder to find Charles was looking at him ruefully.

It was ridiculous how relieved Erik felt at being able to actually look into those blue eyes again, and it was in that moment that Erik realised there had never been a question of when he would forgive Charles, but rather a question of when Charles was going to forgive him for walking away the way he had. Erik would always forgive Charles, no matter what the telepath put him through. It was just part of what came with loving the frustrating younger man.

Charles seemed to understand that he’d been forgiven though, even without needing to read Erik’s mind - which Erik was sure he hadn’t, considering he couldn’t feel that presence in the back of his mind that had always told him Charles was there -because he suddenly smiled softly before he started talking again,

“Don’t be mad at Frost, Erik. It was actually she who came to warn me about Shaw. I believe she’d been jealous of Shaw’s fascination with Raven actually, and while her motive may have been flawed, it’s thanks to her that we’re all here today.”

Sighing loudly as he let the idea of hunting Frost down go, Erik asked, “So, how did Shaw come to be here then?”

“Ah. That was your professor’s fault actually. Though, Shaw had given him no choice in the matter - He’d threatened his daughter, and told him that if he didn’t tell him where he’d sent you, he could kiss his daughter’s life goodbye. Ruthless, really. I don’t know how you were able to stand him all those years,” Charles’ nose wrinkled in his disgust, and Erik found himself grinning just a little bit at the sight.

Charles cocked his head to the side as he took in the smile and chewed at his lower lip for a few seconds before blurting, “You’re smiling. Does that mean I’m forgiven?”

“Hmmm,” Erik hummed thoughtfully, if only to see Charles chew on his lip for a little longer, before sighing dramatically and saying, “I suppose so.”

The relieved, “Oh thank heaven’s,” that Charles breathed at Erik’s words took him by surprise, but the feel of the smaller man’s arms wrapping around his neck startled him even more. Though Erik knew they’d hugged constantly when they were younger, ever since meeting again, Erik had been more wary of how much physical contact there had been between him and Charles – it felt far too intimate now, especially after the night of Charles’ twenty-first and Erik had awoken with Charles wrapped around him.

Still, he hardly even hesitated before bringing a hand up to clutch at Charles’ arm, prolonging the hug that small amount as a barely there smile tugged at the edges of his mouth, decidedly ignoring the suggestion of a blush on his cheeks.

And then Charles tensed slightly, his arms tightening a little before he asked with a mild pout, “... Can I have that ring back then?” and Erik was forced into surprised laughter.

“Oh no, you gave it back. Besides which, I’ve already returned it,” Erik lied as smoothly as he was able.

The lie was almost worth it, because Charles’ look of absolute horror was the most amusing thing Erik had seen of late, though he was mildly disappointed by the fact that his arms withdrew from around Erik’s neck.

“You did not,” Charles was all but screeching, his eyes wide with disbelief, “Tell me that you’re lying Erik, because, honestly, that was a gift. You had no right to take it back!”

“But you returned it Charles. What did you want me to do? Leave it sitting on the shelf as a reminder of the friendship I’d lost?” Erik sighed, trying to resist the want to laugh.

He hadn’t expected Charles’ eyes to suddenly cloud over as he slumped down against his pillow. Quietly, he said, “You’d never lost me Erik … I don’t think you ever could,” and for just a moment, Erik thought that the statement seemed too grand for the situation at hand, but he was at a loss for what else Charles could be referring to.

“I’m fucking with you Charles,” he told him, his eyebrows drawn together as Charles’ words kept repeating in his mind.

Erik was distracted, however, as a soft force suddenly collided with his head, and he realised that Charles had just thrown his pillow at him.

“That wasn’t funny Erik!” he was snarling, and all Erik could do was smile up at him in amusement.

“I thought it was,” he declared, and was forced to scramble out of the way as Charles took hold of a second pillow and tossed, his mouth pulled into a scowl that simply didn’t suit Charles at all, which somehow made it all the more endearing.

Suddenly, Erik heard a tentative ‘Does this also mean I’m allowed back in your mind?’ projected to him, and Erik covered his face with a hand as he groaned loudly at the question that Charles hadn’t been able to voice.

“You’re incorrigible, Charles. You know that, right?”

“With this, perhaps. Please, Erik?”

Unable to help himself at the pleading tone that Charles was using, Erik removed his hand so that he look over at Charles, fully intending on scowling at him with disapproval. He instantly wished that he hadn’t, because Charles was making use of that puppy-dog expression he’d somehow perfected, and it seemed much more potent with Charles in Erik’s turtleneck. As soon as he was hit by that expression, Erik found that all he could do to acquiesce with a short nod of his head, even as his lips tightened into an unsure frown.

As soon as Erik felt Charles’ cinnamon tea presence flutter at the back of his mind again though, he couldn’t hold back the sigh of relief that had slipped through his teeth, and he just hoped it was soft enough that Charles hadn’t caught it.

Charles’ eyes were closed though, and upon opening that connection to Erik’s mind again, he hummed appreciatively as if he’d just had a taste of the most exquisite hot chocolate before sighing, “Gods, I’ve missed the feel of you,” and then his eyes jerked open and both he and Erik blushed profusely.

“Oh. Oh, that sounded – I simply meant – Oh dear,” Charles was babbling, covering his face with his hands, while Erik scolded himself for allowing the image of Charles uttering those words under different circumstances to present itself.

Ever a cause of frustration to Erik, Moira chose that moment to open the door cautiously. Her eyes sweeping from Charles with his face in his hands, to glare accusingly at Erik. He could almost hear the thought I asked you to fix him, not break him, and Erik had to fight the urge to snarl defensively at her.

“No, no. It’s not what you think Moira,” Charles hastened to explain, peeking through his fingers at her. “We’re fine now, this is ... something different.”

“Different?” Moira repeated, an eyebrow arching as she invited herself into the room, and Charles simply nodded his head repeatedly as she sat down on the edge of the bed, still glaring at Erik suspiciously.

Erik simply rolled his eyes at her scrutiny before saying, “Forgive me Charles, but I have work to continue with,” which was a complete lie. Charles lowered his hands as he fixed Erik with a look that told the metal-bender that Charles knew it was a lie, but he didn’t care much for spending more time in the human’s presence than was absolutely necessary.

So, with a fleetingly apologetic look at Charles, Erik left the room. It was only as he overheard Moira tut and say to Charles, “Where did you get that shirt from anyway?” that Erik realised he meant to ask about that too, since he had no recollection of Charles borrowing one of his turtlenecks before.

When Erik threw himself on his bed for some leisurely reading a few minutes later, he was still wearing a grin.

~X~

This way to Part 6

Cherik Fanfiction: There is no Future Without You - 4/7

2011-11-17T15:28:01Z

Title: There is no Future Without You
Word Count: 5 805
Pairing: Cherik
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Rating: M ...? I'm honestly bad at figuring out what rating things should be - Just look at the warnings.
Warnings: Love of the homosexual nature. Implications of sexual situations. Oh, and swearing.
Summary: Charles and Erik were friends when they were children - Until certain circumstances tore them apart. Many years later, when Erik moves to England so that he can study at Oxford University, he certainly doesn't expect to run into his childhood friend again.In fact, he doesn't expect any of the events that follow.
Notes: This is something that I wrote for ile_o, who drew this amazingly cute fanart for me (Which can be found here), gushing about how much she wanted to see a fic where Charles and Erik meet as children - But with the age difference. And this is my response to that cos the image just wouldn't leave me alone. So, here it is darling, and I hope to the gods of Tuesday that you like it. >///<

You really ought to read Part One, Two, and Three first

~X~

There are certain things that Erik and Charles don’t talk about, unspoken lines that each doesn’t cross – Charles doesn’t ask about Erik’s mother, and Erik doesn’t ask about what happened to Charles’ parents.

Now that he remembers, Erik knows that Charles used to talk a lot about his father, practically worshipped the man. Now, however …Erik doesn’t hear him say a single thing about his father, or his mother, and it makes Erik curious. He wants to know what happened, but he also doesn’t know whether he’s allowed to ask.

It isn’t until they’re playing chess one Tuesday night (And Erik doesn’t know why they’re even bothering to play since they both know Charles is going to win), when Erik finally finds out.

“It’s his anniversary today,” Charles hums in barely more than a whisper, and Erik can see something heavy lurking behind Charles’ eyes, so he doesn’t say a thing and simply waits. “My father, that is,” Charles continues after a few moments, and Erik’s eyes flick up to Charles with surprise.

Still, he says nothing. Though his tongue is dying to form words like What happened?, Erik understands that Charles will tell him when he’s ready to.

He’s rewarded for his silence after a few more moves. Charles suddenly leans back in his chair, clasps his hands tightly in his lap, and crosses one leg over the other. There’s something about the pose that is all but screaming ‘Serious’ to Erik, even without taking into account the way that Charles is chewing on his lower lip and looking off into the distance. Erik can see from the set of Charles’ brow that he’s made the decision to tell him though, and so the metal bender simply leans back in his chair and waits.
And, after a few more moments of deliberation, Charles finally says in a soft voice, “He died, you know. When I was thirteen. It was some kind of freak accident – A haemorrhage in his brain that killed him instantly. The worst of it was that I was right there. I was right there, and I could feel it as if I were experiencing it myself. It was … Horrible – One second he was fine, he had actually laughing at me, and then all of a sudden …” Charles stopped himself and swallowed, “The next second there was just nothing. Even when the paramedics came, all I could do was tell them how it was too late and that he was gone. It was more upsetting to see them try and revive him and know that they wouldn’t be able to, to feel their disgust that his own son didn’t even care for them to try.”

Charles was biting at his lip again, and there were unshed tears in his eyes and Erik knew that he should be saying something, but he knew all too well that being told ‘I’m sorry’ does absolutely nothing for the pain. So, instead, Erik reached a hand over to grasp Charles’ shoulder and told him, “He’d be proud of you.”

Watery blue eyes fixed onto Erik’s then, and Charles’ lips twisted into a genuinely thankful smile as he breathed, “I hope so,” before titling his head thoughtfully as he continued, “As for my mother – I haven’t spoken to her in years. She never understood me and, foolish as it sounds, she always felt threatened by the way my father seemed to favour me. I absolutely hated living with her, to be honest. She was rather cold and was always far too concerned with how to make more money, even though we already had enough. So, I packed up my things and moved here as soon as I had access to my inheritance and then there was also …”

Abruptly, Charles cut himself off, only this time Erik had the distinct impression that it was because he was hiding something. And, although Erik narrowed his eyes suspiciously at this, he also chose to respect the fact that Charles had his own secrets. “Well, it was just better that I moved here and brought Raven along. Hank and Azazel followed shortly after, and then,” Erik cocked his head at the warm smile that suddenly lit up Charles’ entire face, and was irrationally jealous at whoever that smile was for. Until Charles added with his eyes locking on to Erik’s, that warm and happy smile still firmly in place “… You came,” and for just a moment Erik felt the breath leave his lungs.

Charles continued to look over at him with that smile of his, and he was so warm and open and trusting, that Erik didn’t feel worthy. He was sure that, one day, he would surely break the man he’d come to hold closest to his heart, because Erik seemed to only bring ruin to those he allowed close to him, and he just didn’t know what he would do if something bad ever happened to Charles. He didn’t know what he would do if he was the cause of it.

Completely oblivious to Erik’s inner turmoil, Charles stretched an arm out and allowed his hand to rest atop Erik’s, his thumb brushing the skin there fondly.

“You’ve no idea how pleased I was to find you again,” the telepath said, his eyes still open and fixated on Erik’s.

And Erik had no idea to respond to that, so he simply levitated his rook forward, and said, “We’d best finish this if we plan to sleep tonight Charles,” before removing his jacket, because the fact that he could feel warmth in his cheeks surely meant that the room was too warm. There was no possible way Erik could be blushing, such a thing was unimaginable.

Charles was still smiling.

---

There were several things that happened to Erik in his first year at Oxford that he had never imagined himself doing. What he was currently attempting to do, however, quite possibly topped that list.

He had no idea how he knew that it was Moira, he’d only seen her in passing several months ago, but as he watched the woman step out onto the street without even looking, something in him had known that it was her.

What she was doing, stepping onto the street without looking, Erik had every intention of grilling her about later. But, for now he was a touch preoccupied with trying to stop her human-ass from being turned into a human pancake, too busy concentrating on holding the truck back. … Or, rather, holding the truck and three cars back while she still continued to walk across the road completely unaware.

Erik felt a bead of sweat roll down from his forehead from the effort – He’d never attempted to stop moving traffic before, and he’d certainly never tried to hold a truck with cargo back, so he could feel that he was overexerting himself, but he had reacted on instinct. Although he didn’t like Moira MacTaggert, Charles did, and Erik couldn’t stand the thought of how Charles would react had he found out that Erik simply stood by and allowed Moira to be killed. At this rate though, the effort might end up killing him instead.

‘Don’t be foolish,’ the mental voice of Charles snapped him suddenly, and for a moment Erik wondered if he was talking about trying to stop the truck and cars – Fuck it all, couldn’t that Woman walk any faster?! – but then Charles continued thinking at him as he ran towards the room Erik’s lecture had been in, ‘You’re able to do this Erik. Shaw was wrong about your powers, it’s not rage that fuels them … You need to find the point between rage and serenity. That’s where your true power lies. If you can find that, you’d be even more powerful than I’

Erik turned his head to look at Charles, who he could feel had just entered the room - Charles being the only one at Oxford who actually used a pocket watch - and snarled, “And how the fuck do you propose I do that in the current circumstance?”

The truck accelerated and Erik was forced to hold onto it with more will, which almost allowed one of the cars to go through, had Erik not quickly asserted more will over it too. Moira was only halfway across the road, and if the cars didn’t slip out of Erik’s grasp and kill her, he was going to do it himself.

“Do you mind if I…” Charles wiggled his fingers in the air with an uncertain frown on his face, and under other circumstances Erik might have made a comment about the somewhat obscene gesture, or about the fact that Charles was asking if he could finger his brain. Things being what they were though, all he did was hesitate a mere moment before shaking his head, giving Charles permission to enter his mind for the first time since they were kids.

It almost completely broke Erik’s concentration to feel Charles’ cinnamon tea presence merge with his own consciousness. He couldn’t even tell where his mind ended, and Charles’ presence began. He could even feel Charles’ amusement at his thoughts. It was exhilarating, overwhelming, and somehow much more intimate than anything that Erik could imagine.

Erik was brought back to the physical world with a jolt, however, as another car tried to swerve around the corner and he was forced to add it to the pile of vehicles he was holding back.

‘Whatever you’re planning on doing Charles, make it quick,’

And then a memory was flashing behind his eyes, like a film seen on a projector, and Erik’s eyes pricked with tears of their own accord. It was his mother. Somehow, Charles had managed to find the memories of his mother.

She was wearing that lilac dress she favoured on special occasions, and as she smiled warmly at Erik, leaning down to kiss his forehead before lighting the candles of a cake, he knew that it was his eighth birthday. It was almost painful to see how very much she loved him, the way her eyes were bright with joy as they all sang Happy Birthday to a highly embarrassed, but pleased, younger Erik, and somewhere in the distance, Erik could feel Charles words repeated. The point between rage and serenity.

Taking a breath, Erik adjusted the way he was holding the cars and trucks, and was almost startled at how easy it felt now, how, with only the slightest twitch of his pinkie, he was able to take hold of the ring Moira was wearing and pull her across the road. Once she was out of the way, Erik gently released one side of the road, taking care to keep a small amount of will over the cars so that the drivers didn’t lose control and cause other accidents. Finally, Erik felt he could let all the cars go, and it was so simple that he was grinning with joy at it all, laughing once in his shock.

He could feel that there were tears on his face, but he couldn’t bring himself to care as he turned to look at Charles, a wide smile on his face. Not the awkward half smile-half grimace he usually wore, but a proper grin that revealed his teeth and awe. Erik’s smile simply increased as he saw Charles surreptitiously wipe his own tear away, though he was almost disappointed when he felt Charles’ presence fade to the back of his mind again.

“I … I thought I’d forgotten,” Erik breathed, and Charles smiled gently at him.

“There’s so much more to you than you realise,” he assured him, his tone soft and revealing how much he believed it that, for a moment, Erik was stunned and he was forced to look back outside into the street, where Moira was still completely unaware of the fact that he’d just saved her life.

Charles came to stand beside him, and, after a few seconds of silence, gently placed a hand on Erik’s shoulder. He squeezed once, and then walked away, leaving Erik to his thoughts. Erik watched him as he went, partially wanting to ask him to stay, and partially needing a few moments to himself.

As Charles looked back over his shoulder though, giving Erik another small smile before closing the door, Erik came to realise something he’d been trying to deny. He didn’t have a crush on Charles – He absolutely loved him. Loved him so much that his chest actually hurt to think about it, and he’d been a fool to think that this was going to go away any time soon, and all Erik was able to do was wipe away the residue of his – manly, and therefore totally acceptable – tears with the sleeve of his turtleneck and laugh softly at the unlikeliness of it all. But, for once, Erik wasn’t afraid that he’d screw it up, because this was Charles, and Charles made him feel like he was actually capable of things …

Things like stopping traffic to save the life of a foolish human girl.

---

With December, came the end of Erik’s first year at Oxford, and he could honestly say that he was looking forward to having weeks to spend browsing through the library’s collection without other students annoying him, since practically every one of them would be going home to their parents for the Christmas season.

Erik should have known that Charles would ruin that for him. Three days before Christmas, the telepath let himself into Erik’s room and looked around at the mess with horror.

“What are you doing? You’re not even packed yet! The car’s leaving in an hour, with or without us! Well, that last part’s probably not true since they can’t leave without me, but I want to go home Erik!”

Erik looked up at Charles from behind his book with complete, and utter bewilderment.

“What are you talking about Charles? And – Charles, why are you pulling out my suitcase?”

Hurriedly, Erik marked his place in the book and scrambled out of the way as Charles began throwing the contents of one of his shelves at him.

“Please don’t give me that right now Erik. As I said, the driver’s waiting for us and -” Charles suddenly stopped and looked over at Erik as though something had just occurred to him, “Oh. Oh no. I did tell you that I was taking you with me for Christmas didn’t I?”

Feeling his carefully planned holiday of sleeping and reading shatter around him, Erik shook his head forlornly.

“Oh. Well, uh … Now you know! So, hurry up and help me pack what you’ll need for the holidays would you?”

Erik sighed heavily before walking into the bathroom to collect his toiletries, seeing no point in arguing with Charles since the younger man had clearly made up his mind about the matter.

He was just trying to decide how much of his school work to bring with him considering he was already two months into the next year, when he heard Charles make a noise of surprise.

Instincts taking over, Erik picked up the screws lying on the bathroom basin and held them in front of him, ready to maim whoever would dare startle Charles. The screws fell rather quickly when he saw that Charles was perfectly fine, and was in fact sitting on the clothing-littered bed, his eyes fixed on the small mitten held in his hand.

Erik was torn between horror that Charles had found it, and thinking Oh. That’s when it began.

All through his years, Erik never had been able to throw that mitten out. Even when he could no longer remember why, his mind just absolutely refused to let him get rid of it, and so it had gone with him through his high school years, and even managed to come along for the ride to England.

Well, at least now he remembered why he wasn’t able to get rid of it. It reminded him of all those times he’d walked home holding Charles’ hand cos he’d been too stubborn to bring his own mittens along.

“I … Can’t believe you kept it,” Charles whispered, a strange tone to his voice. It almost sounded like awe, but Erik couldn’t fathom why Charles would be awed about this, so decided he was misreading the tone.

For his part, Erik remained silent as he leant against the doorframe to the bathroom, trying to figure out how he was going to explain that he’d kept that mitten because he’d, apparently, loved Charles since he was a child. It was crazy, to say the least. Especially since he’d forgotten who Charles was.

Quite suddenly, Charles leapt to his feet and started babbling, “What am I doing spacing out? We need to hurry up! Poor Frederick is probably becoming really impatient waiting.”

When he was sure Charles was looking elsewhere, preoccupied with stuffing more of Erik’s trousers into the suitcase, Erik picked the mitten up and stowed it away in the drawer again.

For a moment there, he thought Charles had seen, because as he closed the drawer, Erik realised he couldn’t hear the sound of clothes rustling. When he turned to look at Charles though, he was flicking out one of Erik’s shirts before trying to cram it into the suitcase as well. Erik couldn’t really see from where he was standing, but he thought that Charles might have been smiling.

Before he was able to give it anymore thought though, Charles zipped the bag up and fixed him with a stern look, “Are you ready?”
Erik heaved a deep sigh before nodding and Charles almost ran out the door, leaving Erik to pick the suitcase up and hover it along behind him. Before he closed and locked the door, however, Erik paused to slide a small parcel out from under his bed and stow it away in his jacket pocket.

He just managed to zip the pocket up before Charles rushed back around the corner to see what was taking Erik so long. Erik simply sighed again, already lamenting the loss of his relaxed holiday break.

When Erik first saw Charles’ ‘home’, his jaw fell open with surprise. “You live here?” he asked, his eyes taking in the mansion with no small amount of envy.

Charles was scratching at his cheek with embarrassment as he muttered, “Well, yes.”

Erik had known that Charles was rich – It was obvious in the way he dressed, in the way he spoke, in the bag he used for school. But … This? This was more than Erik had expected. He couldn’t believe that Charles was happy to spend his time at the on-campus Uni when he had the option of staying here.

“Well, come along then. I’d better show you your room. I’ve set you up in the room directly opposite mine. I hope that’s alright,” Charles rambled as he took hold of Erik’s arm and led him through the entry hall.

It took Erik a full day of staying at the mansion before he was able to get over the shock that Charles actually owned the place, and even then he still felt uncomfortable being there. As if his presence was unfit for such opulence.

But then he walked into the kitchen to find Charles standing at the stove, his tongue sticking out between his teeth with concentration, and Erik felt something deep within melt just a little at the sight.

Then the kitchen fire alarm starting going off, Charles yelled out, “What did I do this time?!”, and Erik couldn’t help but snort.

“Surprise, surprise. Rich boy can’t cook,” he tutted as he walked up behind Charles, who jumped a mile in the air at the sound, before looking over his shoulder at Erik with a pout on his lips. Looking into the pan, Erik saw the charred remains of what looked like what was meant to be eggs in another lifetime, perhaps.

It was too much, and Erik burst into laughter, Charles hissing “Eriiiiiiik!” as he beat his fists on the taller man’s chest, spatula still in hand. Erik, naturally, caught Charles’ flailing Spatula-filled hand with one hand, and wiped at tears of mirth in his eye with the other.

That was when he looked down at Charles and realised with shock that Charles’ mouth was parted ever so slightly, his cheeks flushed a deep red as he looked up at Erik with wide eyes.

Before Erik could think about it any more, Raven darted into the kitchen screeching, “What did you burn this time Charles?!” She stopped dead at the sight she was met by, however, and just said, “Oh,” apparently as confused as Erik.

Releasing Charles’ wrist in a hurry, Erik reached around and turned the stovetop off before something else could start to burn, like his cheeks, because they were positively flaming right then, and he wasn’t even one hundred percent sure why.

“Erik, I didn’t realise you’d be here,” Raven ventured, and Erik glanced over his shoulder at her as he tossed the contents of the frying pan.

“Neither did I, until I was dragged here.”

At the words, Raven’s eyes widened slightly, before she turned to look at Charles, who had moved from the stove and was, instead, busying himself in the fridge. And for a moment, Erik was distracted by the fact that Charles was bending over - and how was it that Erik had never stopped to appreciate the perfection that was Charles’ behind before? and - Not now Lensherr, Erik’s mind hissed at him – before he arched an eyebrow at the stiff way that Charles was moving, suddenly feeling very much like he was missing something.

The feeling was simply exemplified when he turned to look back at Raven to find her staring at him, her mouth curled into that same knowing smile that Azazel often wore.

Erik scowled deeply at her before throwing the frying pan into the sink and returning back to his room to get a few more hours of sleep.

It was almost midday before Erik left his room again, and as he wandered aimlessly down along the halls, he thought it almost strange that he hadn’t seen any housemaids or butlers or anything you’d expect with a house this size.

His meandering stopped when he heard merry whistling though, and Erik sighed softly at the sound, before backtracking to look inside the room. As he’d expected, there was Charles.

What he hadn’t expected, however, was for Charles to be standing on tiptoe at the top of a ladder, hanging what looked to be Christmas decorations. He looked so happy as he was doing it, Erik was quite content to lean against the doorframe and watch, wearing a small smile of his own has he did so.

Erik frowned with concern, however, when Charles started to stretch for a point that Erik thought was just that little bit out of his reach and then – Of course – the ladder that Charles had been standing on started to sway beneath him.

With a quick flick of Erik’s fingers, the ladder flicked around beneath Charles’ feet and he was able to regain his balance.

“I will never understand why you can’t just ask for help,” Erik commented dryly as Charles breathed out a sigh of relief before he returned to hanging the tinsel up on the wall. Erik raised the ladder up a little bit so that Charles didn’t have to stretch so high.
“I didn’t think I would need it. Seems I was mistaken.”

Erik rolled his eyes, and then jolted the ladder that little bit so that Charles cried out in surprise. “Might want to hurry up with your decorations Charles, who knows how long I’ll be able to keep this up for.”

It was a lie, of course, keeping something as light as a ladder afloat was simple, even with Charles’ weight on top of that. Erik thought it amusing the way that Charles hastened to finish sticking the decorations up anyway though, even if he did send a pointed Jerk, in Erik’s direction.

Erik’s response was to lower the ladder back down so that Charles wasn’t able to reach the point he wanted the star to stick. When the telepath glared over his shoulder at the metal bender, Erik simply smirked at him, before raising and lowering the ladder in jerky motions – Not jarring enough to actually make Charles lose his footing, but certainly enough that he felt it.

Ordinarily, Erik couldn’t have cared less about Christmas. Why would he? He had no one to celebrate it with. It was just a holiday, which meant a chance to work as much as possible and actually try to save some money.

To say that his Christmas’ in earlier years were complete opposites to the one he was spending now, would not be stretching the truth at all. This year, he actually had someone to spend Christmas with after all. He had a reason to celebrate it, someone he wanted to give something to. This year, he was with Charles, and that made all the difference.

That didn’t mean that when Charles sent him a loud and pointed, “Wake UP Erik!”, he didn’t still want to strangle him though. Especially since there was no way to avoid Charles’s thoughts when he intentionally made them loud, and Erik’s want to throttle him simply increased when a look at his clock revealed it to be six in the morning.

Charles, fuck off until a reasonable hour, Erik thought back before rolling over and pulling the covers tighter around his body.

He had just settled and was about to fall back asleep when his bedroom door was thrown open with a loud crash, and through a half-cracked, sleep-caked eye, Erik could see a determined Charles, who was still wearing his chequered flannelette pyjama’s.

“Come on, get up Erik! It’s Christmas morning and we can’t start anything without you!”

“Yes you bloody well can,” Erik snapped, actually pulling the covers up over his head as if that would make it all go away. Erik counted down the seconds until Charles pulled them back off his head. He got to three before he was assaulted by sunlight, and blue eyes.

“Please Erik? I promise I’ll make it up to you,” and Erik had to blink a few times to bury the assorted images that statement brought to mind.

“How?” he growled, hoping Charles didn’t manage to catch any of those thoughts.

“How do you feel about waffles?”

Erik was silent for a few seconds, before he groaned loudly and said, “They had better be smothered with syrup Charles!”, and Charles, stupidly-energetic Charles considering the hour, threw his arms up into the air and whooped.

As a shuffling noise passed the door, Erik could see Raven stumbling past, her hair in complete disarray as she pulled her dressing gown tight around her. She scowled heavily when she saw Charles, and Erik couldn’t help but feel pleased it wasn’t only him suffering through Charles’ enthusiasm for Christmas morning.

Three plates of Waffles later – Waffles that Charles had bought from the supermarket the night before and simply had to toast, so they were only slightly burnt – and with good, strong cup of coffee in his hand, Erik and Raven were ushered into the room Charles had decorated the day before.

As he walked into it now, Erik felt himself instantly wake up with surprise. The smell of pine assaulted him as he entered the room, the aroma coming from a tree that certainly hadn’t been there when he’d hovered Charles around the room just yesterday. There were so many baubles hanging off it, glinting in the morning light, that Erik was surprised it didn’t just tip over. Of course, he supposed, it might do just that if it didn’t have that ridiculous pile of presents sitting beneath it.

Charles practically skipped past Erik as he stood in the doorway, jaw open slightly. As he passed, Charles spun about with his hands behind his back as he turned, giving Erik a sunny smile as he went.

“Impressed?” he asked, a decidedly smug note to his tone. And it was that which made Erik decide to play with Charles a touch.

“Disappointed,” Erik sighed, looking up at the ostentatious tree with a well practised look of indifference.

“Disappointed?” Charles repeated, clearly not believing his ears as he placed a hand on his hip and arched an eyebrow.

“Absolutely. Where are the fluttering fairies, Charles? The reindeer?”

And Charles blinked in surprise at him for a moment, before his mouth broke into a disbelieving grin as he pushed at Erik’s shoulder. “Damn it Erik! Just go sit down would you?”

Chuckling softly, Erik did as he was told, sipping at his coffee as he did so. Apparently used to the sight, Raven had taken Charles’ brief distraction as a chance to curl up on the plushest chair, looking as if she would fall asleep right there.

The handing out of the gifts was a long and tedious process that slowly drained the small amount of energy the coffee had given Erik. He was always surprised into wakefullness when Charles bounced over to him with something, however. He truly hadn’t expected a single thing, and yet … He now sat with a pile of fifteen presents at least. Some of which had actually come from Raven, which came as a shock, and Erik actually felt a little guilty about the fact that he hadn’t thought to get her anything.
He was equally surprised when he realised that there was a gift for him from Azazel, and even one from Hank, and he silently cursed the fact that he hadn’t even thought to give them something.

When he opened Azazel’s gift however – A handsome new leather jacket – he found a card that said Both Hank and I are fully aware you wouldn’t have thought to give us something, so don’t feel guilty. We’re just as sure that Charles in fact prepares us something with your name on it. Just you wait – Raven will have received at least two things from you that you don’t remember buying.

As soon as he finished reading the note, Raven exclaimed with shock “Jeez Lensherr, I didn’t realise you actually had taste!” and Erik looked up to see her holding out a dazzling sea green dress that he certainly did not remember buying. Glancing over at Charles with a cocked eyebrow, Charles simply shrugged, completely unrepentant

It seemed to take an age, but finally Charles said with a flourish, “And the last one is for Erik!” and Raven actually sighed with relief.
Erik hesitated a moment before sending an apologetic look at the cerulean-skinned woman, and said, “Wait. There’s one more” as he summoned the parcel he’d brought along with him down the stairs, his heart pounding a little in his chest as he did so.

Swallowing anxiously, but feigning carelessness, Erik set the gift on Charles’ knee. If he were honest, Erik was nervous about Charles’ reaction to the present. He had spent weeks trying to decide on what to get him – After all, what could you get a man who seemed to already have everything he needed? – When he had stumbled upon something on his way back from the bookstore.

Even then Erik had been immensely unsure about it – But he’d ended up leaving the antique store with the trinket regardless. As he sat there, knee bouncing up and down with nerves while Charles pulled the small box apart, Erik began to question his decision all over again.

“Oh,” was all Charles breathed as he plucked a ring out of box, and Raven slid herself off the couch to peer at the ring also, echoing the sentiment, which only furthered Erik’s anxiety. Was ‘Oh’ meant to be a good, or a bad reaction?

The ring was a delicate thing made up of three bands woven together - one part silver, one gold, and another ice-blue glass. The blue was what had initially attracted Erik to it – It was the same unnatural shade of blue as Charles’ eyes, after all – but as he’d taken a closer look, Erik had found that he’d been completely fascinated by it’s design. Simple though the ring looked at first, upon closer inspection, the two metals had been painstakingly carved so that they resembled ivy that twisted and turned around the blue glass. And somehow, somehow, it had reminded Erik of Charles, so he’d bought it.

As Charles sat there, simply looking at the gift in his hand, Erik began to fidget. Had he chosen wrong? It wasn’t as though he had much experience with buying presents for people after all. When he’d grudgingly asked Azazel’s advice, the mutant had told him ‘Simply get something that makes you think of Charles’, and that ring certainly had made him think of Charles. Perhaps it had been too feminine a choice – He could have just as easily bought the genetics book he’d seen in the bookstore and –

“Erik, please stop fidgeting,” Charles said suddenly, and Erik made a point to hold his body tight enough that he could feel each muscle as it twitched. Sometime during Erik’s mental-panic, Raven had returned to her own couch and was snoring softly where she’d curled up.

He relaxed a little when Charles slipped the ring onto his ring finger though, gracing Erik with one of those warm, immeasurably happy smiles as he did so, “Thankyou Erik, it’s beautiful,” the telepath crooned, and Erik allowed himself to relax a little more.

“You’re sure? I have the receipt still, so I can take it back if you –”

He cut himself off when Charles glared at him, though the glare was considerably less threatening when you took Charles’ smile into account. A grin started to break through Erik’s uncertainty as he noticed the way that Charles turned his hand to watch the ring as it caught in the light, a happy smile tugging at the brunette’s lips as he did so.

“Absolutely not. It’s mine now. Now, please stop worrying and open the rest of your presents,” and Charles’ tone left absolutely no room for objection.

As he tore into the rest of his gifts – Leather bound notebooks, a new messenger bag, turtlenecks that felt like liquid in his hands – Erik couldn’t help but notice that Charles constantly looked down at his hand, and smiled like a fool every time that he did. It was enough to make Erik grin with pleasure, glad he managed to do this Christmas thing right, even if he did neglect to think of anyone outside of Charles.

~X~

On, to Part 5!

Cherik Fanfiction: There is no Future Without You - 3/7

2011-11-17T15:11:16Z

Title: There is no Future Without You
Word Count: 5 005
Pairing: Cherik
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Rating: M ...? I'm honestly bad at figuring out what rating things should be - Just look at the warnings.
Warnings: Love of the homosexual nature. Implications of sexual situations. Oh, and swearing.
Summary: Charles and Erik were friends when they were children - Until certain circumstances tore them apart. Many years later, when Erik moves to England so that he can study at Oxford University, he certainly doesn't expect to run into his childhood friend again.In fact, he doesn't expect any of the events that follow.
Notes: This is something that I wrote for ile_o, who drew this amazingly cute fanart for me (Which can be found here), gushing about how much she wanted to see a fic where Charles and Erik meet as children - But with the age difference. And this is my response to that cos the image just wouldn't leave me alone. So, here it is darling, and I hope to the gods of Tuesday that you like it. >///<

You really ought to read Part One, and Two first

~X~

The reunion with Charles was strange, and confusing – And not only because Charles had somehow managed to skip ahead two years in his education, which put him in the same Uni year as Erik. In a lot of ways, their friendship was still the same as when they were younger though.

For instance, Charles absolutely refused to fully separate his consciousness from Erik’s now that Erik was aware it was him, so Erik had no choice but to get used to that fluttery-barely-there Cinnamon-Tea warmth that was Charles’ presence in the back of his mind. They fought quite viciously about this in the early stages of their renewed-friendship.

One time their verbal arguing actually deteriorated into a fist fight - in the middle of the cafeteria, of all places. Erik had been certain he would have won that one, having the experience and greater body mass. He certainly hadn’t anticipated it ending with Charles sitting on his stomach, his small hands holding Erik’s wrists to the floor while he pinned him down with surprising strength. Eyes as cold as winter glared down at him, positively daring him to try and break free. Something Erik had indeed tried, and failed to do. They didn’t speak with one another for a week after that, and Erik thought it was entirely Charles’ fault that his reputation as someone to avoid had been destroyed.

It wasn’t until Charles explained in minute detail that it wasn’t that he was looking into Erik’s mind and thoughts all the time, it was just a link that made it easier to connect to his mind should he need him that Erik grudgingly accepted. Over time, Erik found it actually made communicating with Charles a lot easier, since if he directed a thought towards that warmth, Charles would understand it was a thought intended for him.

And, although Charles had promised him he wouldn’t actually read his mind without Erik’s explicit permission, Erik still found that Charles had this annoying tendency to know exactly what he was thinking, or what he was feeling. Erik also found that, just like when they were children, he was completely unable to lie to Charles, no matter the topic.

There was also the fact that, since that night in the Library, Erik and Charles seemed to spend almost every waking minute with one another just like when they were young. To be sure, the subjects they discussed now were completely different, and they certainly didn’t agree on everything – Mutant and Human relations, for instance. And there were the times when Erik would physically kick Charles out of his room so he could get some work done, which most people understood to be code for “I need time by myself Charles!”. Every time that happened though, Charles could be found beating on the door within a few hours, all-but-snarling “You’re a year ahead Erik! What work could you possibly need to do that takes more than an hour?!” before Erik would let him back inside, a scowl on his face, despite the wide smile Charles favoured him with each and every time.

To the rest of the student body at Oxford, Erik and Charles seemed to be the closest friends – Or more, most of them theorised – and nobody seemed to believe that it was possible they’d been separated for half their lives.

Similar as their friendship was to what it was before though, there were also definitely differences. Of course there would be.
Though they had always argued back when they were younger, now that they were older their arguments were a lot more heated, had a lot more cussing (Pre-dominantly on Erik’s side), and more often than not resulted in them ignoring one another for periods of time – Both having developed a stubborn streak and an unwillingness to accept that they were wrong. The other mutants, and even regular students who saw them around campus Oxford often muttered about the fact that they fought like an old married couple, though they would never say such a thing to either’s face.

Then there was the startling revelation that Moira MacTaggert was a good friend to Charles. Erik wasn’t sure how he felt about that, and had missed an entire day of lectures because he’d been too busy sitting in his room brooding about it. Naturally enough, Charles questioned him about it later that night, and then became highly offended when Erik had told him that he didn’t like the fact that he was still friends with Moira.

“Damn it Erik! We’re not five and seven anymore! You don’t get to dictate who I befriend and who I don’t!” he snapped before storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

Several hours later, Erik wasn’t sure what bewildered him more; That it was Charles who snapped first, that he’d followed that up by storming out the room and not returning for the night, that Charles was so angry he’d even withdrawn his presence from Erik’s mind, or that it was he who’d gone to Charles’ room, unable to take the silence anymore.

Whichever it was, Erik still went to Charles’ room, and, for the first time in his life, actually apologised – and meant it. Which, of course Charles would follow that up by chewing on his lower lip and looking at the floor with downcast eyes as he said, “No, I overreacted. You never did like Moira for some reason, but I won’t apologise for being friends with her, she’s really rather brilliant.” Erik bristled at the words, but was old enough now to not stop talking to Charles’ because of it. Instead, he vaguely wondered why it was that he felt so threatened by a silly human like Moira.

And then, of course, there was a whole myriad of new circumstances they never could have envisioned back when they were younger. Like the fact that the entire school body seemed to watch them, seemingly with baited breath as if they were waiting for something to happen.

“They seem to be convinced there’s more to you and I than a simple friendship,” Charles commented one time during his and Erik’s Tuesday-night Chess game, having caught Erik glaring at a pair of girls who were watching with wide eyes.

“What would give them that idea?” Erik sighed, making a point to ignore the peculiar feeling that was bubbling in his stomach at the idea.

Charles, bewilderingly, blushed slightly as he considered his next move before shrugging, “I couldn’t say,” and then he grinned widely before moving his Bishop and announcing “Checkmate. That makes it nine for me, Erik.”

Erik was mildly distracted by the way that the blush on Charles’ cheeks was highlighting exactly how blue his eyes were to particularly care that he’d just been beaten – again.

---

The first test of Charles and Erik’s friendship came to them, typically enough, in the midst of a smaller argument that was blown massively out of proportion. Neither one could even remember what had started it – They’d just been watching a TV series in Erik’s dorm room, which had somehow turned into them standing on opposite ends of the small room, snarling and snapping at one another in hushed tones.

“What do you even know about me? What do you know about what I’ve had to go through in those years?” Erik hissed, trying to keep his mind calm so that the metal in the room didn’t start flying around angrily like he could sense it wanted to.

Charles’ reply had taken him completely by surprise though – “Everything!” he had all but yelled, and for a moment Erik felt as though he’d been dumped in a cold tub of ice.

“‘Everything’? … What do you know?” he’d asked, his voice soft and, loath as Erik was to admit it, slightly terrified.

“You may want to be more specific Erik, that’s an incredibly vague question.”

“Don’t fuck with me Charles. What do you know?”

And Charles seemed to realise that the meaning of the argument had completely changed, because his enraged expression suddenly shifted into an apologetic one. “I mean everything right up until you walked into the campus.”

Erik’s eyes narrowed dangerously, and a single metal ornament twisted up and out of his control, orbiting around Erik’s body as if waiting a command.

“I didn’t mean to,” Charles said, his cheeks flushing slightly, “I had actually been looking for Raven, when your mind all but assaulted me and I found out about everything.” And then Charles’ nose wrinkled the way it always did when he disagreed with something, or thought about something unpleasant, “Shaw was a prick, by the way. I can’t believe you let yourself fall to that level.”

“What do you know, Charles?” Erik repeated, a minor growl to his tone, his greenish grey eyes flashing in the dim light of the TV as he took a step towards Charles, and then another, until he was standing toe to toe with the shorter man. Charles refused to allow himself be intimidated though, even when Erik took hold of his wrists and held them a little too tightly.

“What do you want me to say Erik?” Charles asked in a soft voice, “That I know all about Shaw and the way he used you? That I know you tried to look for your mother’s murderer but were never able to find him? … Or that I know about what happened with Susan Braithe?”

The colour suddenly drained from Erik’s face and the metal ornaments fell to the floor with a thud as he let go of Charles’ wrists, choosing instead to take a step back and run a hand down and along his jaw, his mind reeling from the implications.

“Then – You,” he forced himself to swallow his irrational anxiety, “You know?”

Charles sighed gently and tentatively closed that gap between himself and Erik, grasping the elder man’s hands between his own comfortingly. “I know about your preference, yes. And no, I don’t care. I don’t care that you’re attracted to men at all Erik. I’m almost offended you thought that I would think less of you for it.”

Erik hastily swallowed the disbelieving laugh and instead narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Charles. “I thought you said you wouldn’t read my mind without permission?”

Charles actually rolled his eyes at the words, “My friend, I don’t need to read your mind to understand your uncertainties or fears about that.”

His eyebrows rose questioningly at Charles’ choice of words. It sounded as if Charles were speaking from experience, and so, Erik waited for Charles to explain what he meant.

“I – Well, that is,” and Erik absolutely did not find it endearing that Charles was blushing, “That is to say, I’m not exclusively attracted to either gender.”

Erik was being very careful at that point in time to not think about how adorable Charles looked in that moment, blushing a bright red right to the roots of his hair, his eyes determinedly fixed on his and Erik’s still joined hands.

“Charles, are you suggesting that you’re bi?”

Furthering Erik’s opinion that a flustered Charles was an adorable Charles, the younger male simply nodded his head profusely, chewing on his lower lip. “I haven’t actually admitted that to someone before,” he confessed after a few seconds, “Though I’m fairly sure people know – Raven, for instance - it’s different to actually tell someone.”

Pulling his hands free, Erik made his way back to the bottom bunk that had been converted into a lounge. But then, he turned to look at Charles from over his shoulder and asked, “And do you feel better for having told someone?”

“Do you?” Charles countered, a small smile playing with his mouth, and Erik took a moment to consider his answer.

“Yes,” he said. Privately, he thought that he felt better for it because it was Charles he told, but he was making a conscious decision not to think about that.

---

Since cutting his ties with Shaw, Erik had made a point to avoid bars and drinking. It was his way of trying to prove to himself that he was beyond that life, that it – and everything that Shaw represented – was in the past. Of course things wouldn’t be that simple – He was Erik Lensherr and nothing was ever simple.

“We’re going to a bar!” Charles declared the very instant Erik opened the door to him. It was only because Charles quickly wedged his foot in the doorframe with an innocent smile that Erik didn’t slam the door shut in his face.

“Why?” Erik groaned, glaring up at the heavens and sure that the angels were laughing at him in that moment.

“Because it’s my birthday, and that’s what people do on their birthday’s,” Charles replied as though Erik were being awfully dense.

“You can’t even drink yet,” Erik pointed out. As Charles continued to grin up at him though, his smile simply becoming broader at Erik’s words, Erik realised with dawning horror that it was Charles’ twenty first birthday. “Shit,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m not coming.”

Charles’ smile instantly gave way to a pout, “Why on earth not? This is my twenty first birthday celebration, and I want you there!”

When Erik deigned to look over at Charles to give him an irritated glare, he realised that the younger man was looking up at him with wide eyes and a pout that could only be described as a puppy-dog expression, and even before Charles said “Please?” in the most wounded voice he could muster, Erik knew he was going to cave.

“Argh! Alright! Fine! But don’t expect me to carry you home!”

As soon as Charles whooped with joy, Erik knew he would come to regret the surrender.

A few hours later, Erik was sitting at the bar, moodily downing yet another beer. Had someone asked him what annoyed him about Charles before that night, Erik would have told them his damnable ability to beat him at chess nine times out of ten. Now, however, he would tell them that it was his obnoxiously bad flirting and pick up lines. Honestly, what on earth would convince someone “That’s a very groovy mutation you have,” would be a good pick up line? And worse, it seemed to be working!

Growling softly into his beer, Erik made a point to ignore the clearly inebriated, rambunctious laughter that was Charles, and tried extremely hard not to glare at the curvaceous dark haired woman he was leaning on.

He must have failed miserably though, because not two seconds after the dark haired woman met his gaze, she flinched and whispered into Charles’ ear.

Charles, of course, drunk as he was, replied quite loudly, “Oh, that’s because he’s just a grouch. He really is lovely once you get to know him though …Well, to some people. Most just think he’s an arse.”

Scowling, Erik ordered two scotch’s on the rocks and downed one in a single gulp, before he sipped irritably at the other. The burning of his throat did little to stifle his irrational anger at the woman Charles was leaning on, or towards the pretty blonde he’d spoken to earlier, or even towards Hank when Charles tripped and fell into his lap, giggling even as Hank tried to scramble away, shooting furtive glances in Erik’s way.

He heard a soft chuckle to his left and a glance revealed Azazel to be there, standing between two bar stools and looking towards the loud crowd that had amassed around Charles.

“Even drunk, he draws people to him like a moth to the flame,” the mutant commented, his mouth quirked with humour.

Erik simply made a noise of irritation at the statement, swirling the brown liquid around in his glass. Azazel looked down at Erik with a smirk on his face, and Erik didn’t like that smirk, found that knowing look in Azazel’s eye irritating. The only thing that stopped him from actually punching the grin off the hell-demon’s face – He’d hit people in the past for less – was the fact that he actually liked the company of the other mutant.

The sentiment must have been obvious, however, because Azazel rolled his eyes in a slow, dramatic way. “You’re as bad as one another” he said half-under his breath, before looking Erik dead in the eye and saying, “If it bothers you so, actually do something about it.”

“About what?” Erik growled.

Before Azazel could say a word though, Erik’s eyes flicked over to the crowd around Charles, and his gaze instantly focused on the way that the dark haired woman’s hand was curled around Charles’ waist. Before he’d even given it any thought, Erik had focused on her chunky, cheap-metal, bracelet and none-too-gently tugged it away from Charles, almost making her spin around from the force of it.

The woman, clearly startled, looked around to see if anyone had pushed her. Erik simply sipped at his drink, feeling vindictively pleased with himself.

‘That wasn’t very nice,’ Charles’ voice commented.

‘Slip of control’

‘Liar.’

Erik didn’t bother to deign that last accusation with a response, turning his back on the crowd once more instead. Azazel was still looking at him, looking very much like he was half inclined to reprimand Erik, but thought the whole thing was amusing and so was choosing not to. Which brought Erik back to the red-mutant’s earlier remark, If it bothers you so, actually do something about it. What was it that was bothering him?

The answer to that came to him alarmingly easily – The attention that Charles was getting was annoying him. His stupid pick up line was irritating. The fact that he was draped all over anyone who’d allow him was infuriating. Watching Charles as he flirted with everyone was pissing him off. But the fact that people were responding to that, responding to Charles was making Erik want to take hold of the metal everyone was wearing and forcibly pull them to the walls so that no one was close to Charles anymore.

Erik snorted at the thoughts. If anyone heard them, they would assume that he was – That he … Erik put the glass back down on the bar with wide eyes and lips parted with surprise

No. No, that couldn’t be it. Could it?

It was true that seeing the attention Charles was getting tonight – Well, the attention that Charles always got - annoyed Erik, but it wasn’t because he was jealous or anything. He’d always been like that when it came to Charles …

And it was true they fought a lot, but it wasn’t because there was unresolved sexual tension or whatever it was that girls went on about these days …

And, yes, okay, Erik didn’t like it when Charles wasn’t around, but it wasn’t because he couldn’t stand to be without him. It was just … He just … Liked it when Charles was around. He was pleasant company, it wasn’t because he had any ulterior motives in monopolizing Charles’ time …

And it wasn’t as if there was anything strange about him noticing the way Charles looked when he blushed. He was just adorable when he did, it wasn’t as if – Well, no, Erik did think it was attractive He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t think it was, but that didn’t have to mean that Erik was attracted to him.

Except you are, the traitorous thought sang, unbidden, and Erik looked back over to the crowd, apparently unable to help himself. And there was Charles, his cheeks flushed pink – from liquor, or amusement, Erik didn’t know – his lips, those stupidly, naturally red lips, wide as he laughed along with the crowd, and one hand was threaded through that thick, chocolate brown fringe.

As if sensing his gaze, Charles’ eyes flicked up to find Erik’s, and it was like the first time Erik had seen them all over again, the blue of those eyes positively knocking the breath out of him for a moment. And, it was all made even worse by Charles smiling over at him, even as that mouth wrapped around the bottle top of a beer.

“Well fuck,” Erik breathed, blinking in shock at the revelation. He was ridiculously, unbearably, immeasurably attracted to his best friend.

“And there you are,” Azazel hummed, amusement evident in his tone, before muttering something else that Erik didn’t catch.

“I have to – I can’t. I’m leaving.”

And with that, Erik jerked away from the bar as if had scalded him and forced himself to walk out of the bar, instead of darting off like a rabbit the way that he was inclined to. When Charles sent Erik a confused thought at his sudden departure, Erik simply waved an apology in his direction. As soon as Erik was out of sight of the bar, he allowed himself to break into a dash, and he didn’t stop running until he came to his dorm room, his breath heaving and his mind still darting all over the place.

How long? He wondered, as he fell onto the lower bunk, burying his face in his hands, trying to block the world out as he thought. How long has he felt this way about Charles? When did it happen? What made it manifest? What should he do now that he knew? … Should he tell Charles?

“No. Absolutely not,” Erik growled, shaking his head at the foolish thought. No. One thing he could not do was tell Charles. Charles was his closest, and, essentially, only friend. Erik might like Azazel, but it wasn’t enough to call him a friend.

Setting his elbows on his knee’s, Erik pressed his hands together and set his chin upon the tip. No. Telling Charles was absolutely out of the question. He would just have to hope this went away. It was probably just a crush after all. Yeah. Just a crush, it would fade…

As Erik fell back into the bed and prepared himself to sleep, his mind briefly wandered over to the secret treasure he had buried in with his Turtlenecks, but then the thought was lost to unconsciousness.

Sleep was hurriedly stripped from him however as a thudding burst through the quiet, and Erik instinctually reached out for a few screws, ready to defend himself from an unseen threat.

Heart still pounding in his ears, Erik gradually realised that the thudding was simply the door, and outside he could hear an entirely too cheerful call of “Eeeerik! Open Uuuuuup.”

Falling headfirst into his pillow, Erik, for just a moment, was inclined to pretend that he was asleep. He didn’t think he’d be able to cope with a drunk Charles tonight.

‘Except I can feel that you’re awake. Oh – Damn. I read your surface thoughts again. So sorry. It’s harder to control when I’m like this it seems. Anyway, open the door already would you? It’s a little chilly out here and –’

Erik growled inarticulately as Charles’ mental monologue ran through his mind, flicking the lock aside and pulling the door open with his face still jammed into the pillow. Charles, of course, simply walked on in with a content smile on his face and kicked the door shut behind him, giggling at how loud the noise was.

“Thankyou Erik. You know, I can’t believe they’d make the legal drinking age twenty one, it seems like we waste so much time being sober. I think that we should go to Australia – their drinking age is eighteen, did you know? Imagine that, still at school and allowed to drink!”

Concentrating on allowing Charles’ rambling to simply go over his head, Erik realised that Charles’ presence in his mind was a lot … Louder than it normally was. Instead of being the normal fluttery feeling around the edges, it felt as though his mind was drowning in the Cinnamon coffee flavour that was Charles.

“Tea, if you don’t mind,” Charles said suddenly, his words completely unrelated to whatever he’d been yattering on about two seconds before.

“What?”

“If you’re going to give me a ‘Flavour’, I’d much rather you thought of me as Cinnamon tea, not coffee. You know I can’t stand coffee Erik.”

Erik raised his head to tell Charles that it was his mind and he’d call him whatever he felt like, when he instead jumped with shock as he realised that Charles was lying on the bed beside him. Erik hadn’t even felt him crawl onto the bed, let alone slip under the cover, but there Charles was, his head on the pillow beside Erik’s with a smile on his face and his eyes wide and innocent as he declared,

“But, if we’re going to give one another flavours, I’d have to say that yours is Mint and Metal, it’s a weird combination really.”

“Charles, what on earth do you think you’re doing?” Erik hissed, trying to calm his racing mind. Charles wasn’t in complete control of his powers right now, and it was entirely one thing for Erik to have a revelation about his feelings towards the other man - it was a complete other for Charles to find out about the said revelation on the same night.

Charles didn’t seem to be paying any attention to Erik’s thoughts, however, because he simply frowned with confusion and said, “Well, what does it look like I’m doing? I can’t remember where my key is, so it seems only natural I’d come here.”
“Okay, yes, alright, but in the same bed as me?” Erik tried extremely hard to keep the slight edge of panic – and the thrum of pleasure he was feeling at the thought under other circumstances – out of his voice.

“Well, I didn’t think I’d be able to climb the ladder, the world is spinning as it is. In fact, there are three of you right now. Curious that you all look so … I don’t know, panicked.”

“You woke me up and crawled into my bed Charles, I’m just startled,” Yes, that was a reasonable excuse.

Charles, however, rolled those big blue eyes of his and said, “Honestly, Erik. It’s not as though I’m trying to seduce you or anything,” and, Erik couldn’t be sure because it was dark, and those words had temporarily startled him, but Charles’ cheeks might have flushed pink in that moment.

“I’m aware of that, Charles” Erik retorted, also rolling his eyes, trying to smother the image of Charles trying to seduce him before Charles could see it in his not-completely-in-control state.

There came no response however, and as Erik squinted in the dark, he could see that Charles had already fallen asleep, his mouth slack and probably drooling on Erik’s pillow.

With a heavy sigh, Erik rubbed at his face. What had he done to deserve this? Then, he allowed his head to fall back down, taking care to manoeuvre the fall so that his head was no longer resting on the pillow – Frankly, he didn’t trust himself with Charles that close and unguarded - and fell straight into a dream.


When Erik woke up, there were three things that he realised; First, at some point in the night Charles had thrown the pillow away, and his face was resting so close to Erik’s that he could feel Charles’ hair brushing against his forehead. The second was that Charles’ legs had somehow become tangled with his through the night, and one of Erik’s traitorous hands had found their way under Charles’ shirt and onto his hipbone, as if trying to hold him as close as possible. The third, and potentially most problematic, was that Erik had a raging hard-on, which was more than a little worrying considering how close Charles was curled into him.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Erik blamed this entirely on Azazel, because if it wasn’t for Azazel, Erik wouldn’t have realised he had feelings for Charles, and if he hadn’t realised he had feelings for Charles, he probably wouldn’t have had that dream about him.

Seriously, of all the nights Erik could have had a sexual-dream about Charles – And Erik was trying hard not to bring that image back to mind, because he was trying to convince his boner to go away, not encourage it. And the image of Charles in that dream was entirely too encouraging … And was something that should probably be revisited at a later time, when the actual Charles wasn’t anywhere in the vicinity. – It just had to be the one where Charles snuggled into him in his sleep. It was just his luck wasn’t it?

After spending five minutes of lying there, flinching every time Charles shifted – Cos, was it his imagination, or was that leg actually meaning to shift higher up Erik’s? – Erik realised he couldn’t take it anymore, and so he did the only thing he could think of. He unceremoniously pushed Charles over, and leapt over his still sleeping form so that he could go shower.
And have a good, long, one at that, because, fuck his luck, the Charles in his bed just moaned. The heaven’s absolutely hated him.

When Erik walked out of the bathroom a good half hour later – or maybe an hour later, he wasn’t sure. He’d rather lost track of time for a good while there – his bed was made and completely empty, save for a note lying on the pillow that read I’m sorry. Erik couldn’t decide whether he should be offended, or relieved that Charles had run out on him like a one-night stand that shouldn’t have happened.

Either way, things were decidedly awkward for the rest of that day, until Charles finally stopped avoiding him, and Erik knew he’d been avoiding him because he hadn’t even felt Charles’ presence in his mind through the whole day. He was nice enough to not mention this to Charles when the shorter man finally decided to stop running away though.

~X~

Part 4

Cherik Fanfiction: There is no Future Without You - 2/7

2011-11-17T14:52:09Z

Title: There is no Future Without You
Word Count: 5 364
Pairing: Cherik
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Rating: M ...? I'm honestly bad at figuring out what rating things should be - Just look at the warnings.
Warnings: Love of the homosexual nature. Implications of sexual situations. Oh, and swearing.
Summary: Charles and Erik were friends when they were children - Until certain circumstances tore them apart. Many years later, when Erik moves to England so that he can study at Oxford University, he certainly doesn't expect to run into his childhood friend again.In fact, he doesn't expect any of the events that follow.
Notes: This is something that I wrote for ile_o, who drew this amazingly cute fanart for me (Which can be found here), gushing about how much she wanted to see a fic where Charles and Erik meet as children - But with the age difference. And this is my response to that cos the image just wouldn't leave me alone. So, here it is darling, and I hope to the gods of Tuesday that you like it. >///<

Part One Here

~X~

The next several years of Erik’s life were, for lack of a better term, unremarkable. He was never adopted into a new family, and spent his years growing up in the Orphanage he’d been unceremoniously dumped at. He persevered with his education and majored in Electrical Theory – Something his teacher said he excelled at – As well as metal work, something he, admittedly, cheated in quite a lot considering his mutation. He enjoyed it all the same though, so he didn’t care if he got filthy looks from his peers when he made use of his powers.

At the age of Sixteen, Erik moved out of the orphanage and found a shabby, one bedroom apartment, and he started working part time at a questionable mechanic’s to simply support himself. It was around that time that Erik’s life took a decidedly darker turn.

There were a mere two other mutants at the high school Erik went to – Emma Frost, and Sebastian Shaw, and they were nothing like the Mutants that Erik remembered from back in New York. Erik might only have a vague impression of his time in New York now, buried under other memories and time as those days were, but the impression he had was of warmth and trying to co-habituate with the human population of the school. With Shaw and Frost, it was completely different. They ruled the school, and the human’s weren’t simply wary of them because they ‘didn’t understand’ – The Human’s were actually afraid of Frost and Shaw.

Erik had been hesitant to follow in their footsteps, he had a distinct impression that someone from his past with alarmingly blue eyes would surely be disappointed if he let himself walk that path, but Erik couldn’t for the life of him remember if that impression was of an actual person, or just a figment of his childhood.

In the end, he allowed himself to be swept up in it all – allowed himself to develop a cold exterior that no one could break through. Allowed himself to become a predator, someone who was viewed as dangerous. He became someone who was volatile, who went out and got into drunken fights of a weekend. He, in essence, became Shaw’s bodyguard – Not that Shaw needed one, he was dangerous in his own right, but Erik was given the role regardless.

And with time, Erik remembered less and less of the blue eyed boy from his childhood. His mind eventually stopped reminding him that ‘he’ would surely be disappointed if he could see him now – Erik stopped caring what this phantom from his past thought and allowed Shaw to make use of him, allowed him to help fine tune his powers to the point that Erik was quite possibly feared more than Shaw himself by the time he reached his Senior year.

Then, before long, it came time to apply for College’s and although Erik hadn’t given it any prior thought, considering Exams were in a week’s time, his Electrical Theory Teacher pulled him aside after one lesson.

“Erik, you could have a future in this field, you and I both know you’re a natural at it. Your course work has been brilliant.” He paused, and then continued on in a rush, “Erik, I want you to consider applying for Oxford University. They provide the best course in Electrical Theory, and I’m sure anything else that you could possibly want.”

“Oxford?” Erik repeated, sure he’d misunderstood the teacher. The balding man simply nodded. “That’s in England.”

“I know, I know. But … Well, consider it, won’t you? I’ve already recommended you for a scholarship, and the professors were rather impressed with your work, so I’m fairly sure it’s safe to say the option’s there if you want it. They’d pay for you to fly over, and you’d have an on-campus dorm. You’d even get an allowance as long as you can maintain a respectable level of work and-”
“I’ll do it,” Erik cut across the teacher’s rambling.

“Er- Well, there’s no need to decide right now. You can think it through and make sure it’s what you want…” The teacher silenced himself at Erik’s quelling glare.

“I said I would do it,” he repeated, silently thinking that it was a good opportunity to cut ties with Shaw and Frost. He’d run out of patience with them, and was tired of Shaw’s attempts at trying to control him. No longer was he the easily moulded, impressionable freshman.

Less than 24 hours after his Exams finished, Erik had packed his life into a single suitcase, thrown out whatever he couldn’t fit in that suitcase, and was sitting on a plane, making his way to England where a representative from Oxford University would meet him and escort him to the dorms.

How could he have known that what seemed like pure luck was in fact fate’s way of setting him back on track for what she had planned for him?

---

Even before he set foot on campus, Erik felt ... Strange. It was like leaving the house and suspecting you’d left the oven on. There was some tickling feeling in the back of his mind that reminded him of something, something he couldn’t put his finger on. And then, out of the blue, he had a memory – Or, he presumed it was a memory – of someone saying ‘Oh, you don’t remember. That’s anticlimactic,’ in a voice that was achingly familiar, and then the feeling was completely gone.

Erik paid it little mind though, he was slightly more concerned with finding what dorm he was going to be living in for the next three years, at least, and whether his room mate was going to be tolerable at least.

He came to a stop in front of the room number scribbled onto the sheet of paper that irritating escort had given him – He’d been a hummer, so Erik had told him to just give him the map and leave his sight, or else he’d be one testicle less. Suffice to say the escort had paled considerably, thrown he paper work at Erik and all but scarpered away – and regarded the door with trepidation.

Generally speaking, he did not get along with people well, and it was even worse if they were human. No matter how much he tried to stress it would be more beneficial for his future roommate that Erik be given his own room, the receptionist informed him that they were aware of his “special circumstances” and that a suitable arrangement was already in place. Erik was certain that his idea of a suitable arrangement, and the receptionist’s would be completely different.

Fixing his fiercest scowl on his face so that his roommate would know not to even bother, Erik opened the door – rolling his eyes to himself at how simple locks were to manoeuvre – and stopped abruptly as he realised his roommate was in fact a man with the appearance of a hell-demon, complete with the thrashing tail.

The sight of the red skin brought something to mind, something elusive and he knew, he knew that he knew this person – How many mutants did you meet with fire-red skin and a tail – But Erik simply couldn’t place it. It was like trying to chase down the fragments of a fading dream.

“Hmm. It would appear he was right then. Pity,” the red-mutant sighed, his golden gaze fixed on Erik as he stood there, hands stuffed into pockets as he wracked his brain for where he knew this mutant from. He didn’t meet him through Shaw, of that he was certain, but then … Before? Erik couldn’t recall. He’d made a point to forget the days with his mother.

And there was that feeling in the back of his mind again, a tickling like someone was sitting there with his consciousness, but the only Telepath that he’d known of was Emma, and she had a tendency to barge her way into Erik’s mind when she saw fit, not flutter about unobtrusively. There was no way her power could stretch over continents, was there?

Belatedly, Erik realised he was still standing in the doorway staring curiously at the other mutant, so he made a point to walk in with his head held high, make it clear that he was not to be intimidated. He didn’t care if this red-Mutant was older than he was, Erik was no push-over.

The Hell demon’s lips twitched once before he rolled his eyes, “You honestly haven’t changed,” he muttered, and Erik arched his eyebrow curiously. So it wasn’t his imagination then, this mutant did know him.

“Forgive me. My name is Azazel, and you can take whichever bunk you want – I’m hardly ever here enough to care.”

Erik’s eyes narrowed slightly at the name, a brief, hazy image of a teleporting mutant coming to mind. An image that was closely followed by a bell-like laughter he felt like he should remember.

“I know you,” Erik said slowly, cautiously, watching Azazel as he threw his bag up onto the lower bunk.

“Indeed, but it was a long time ago, I’m not surprised you don’t remember me. Him however -” and Erik watched as Azazel cut himself off abruptly, looking up at the roof as though he were deep in thought, and then he muttered, “Fool,” under his breath. Had Erik not spent years in close proximity with a telepath, he might have thought that was directed at him, but he was able to recognise when a comment was meant for someone else.

“There are more than just us two here, aren’t there?” Erik asked, though he knew the answer already, and was intrigued by the thought, intrigued by the idea of mutants not under Shaw’s control. Though, he was also slightly uneasy at the idea of another telepath. It had never been pleasant having Emma know his every thought, whim and secret.

Azazel sighed heavily before saying, “Yes, and I’m sure you’ll meet them before long. Forgive me, Lensherr, but I have other business to attend to. Make yourself at home – I wasn’t joking when I said that I’m hardly ever here,” and with one last nod at Erik, the demon dissipated into a sulphuric wisp, and the smell brought back memories of dodgeball and yelling about not cheating by teleporting all over the place.

Erik waited until the smell of Sulphur dissipated completely before pinching his nose between his thumb and finger. Talk about a blast from the past. As he began unpacking, Erik realised he probably should have asked what Azazel was doing in England anyway. Besides the obvious that is.

Until he remembered that he didn’t really care what Azazel was doing in England – He hadn’t even remembered he knew him until ten seconds ago. And so, with a shrug Erik pulled out his schedule and started memorising where his classes were and how to get there, if only so he could avoid having to ask someone.

---

Erik settled into life at Oxford easily enough. It was strange to be staying on campus at first, but he decided that it was more convenient this way. He didn’t have to borrow books from the library all the time, and he could stay in the Campus’ library as late as he wanted, which actually made him happier than he would ever admit aloud.

One of his favourite times quickly became that point in the night when there were only a handful of students left in the extensive library and he could roam through the shelves without needing to be bothered about others loitering at his shoulders, shifting as if trying to peer around and see all books available, or which one he had in hand. It was annoying, and Erik often wanted nothing more than to pick them up by the zips in their jackets, or jeans or their watches and unceremoniously toss them to the other side of the Library. He came very close to doing so on several occasions, but as soon as Erik turned his glare on those foolish enough to bother him, they seemed to realise who they were annoying and they hurriedly found somewhere else to look.

Azazel, true to his word, was hardly ever in their shared room, and so Erik had practically taken it over with several stacks of Electronic books, or books about magnetic theory, not to mention the various amounts of metal that was scattered about the room. Erik simply felt more secure having metal on hand – One thing spending time with Shaw had taught him was to be cautious, no matter the environment you’re in, which is precisely why Erik always had at least one coin in his pocket as he was walking around. Even the bathroom had several screws and coins lying on the basin.

The only thing that bothered him about life at Oxford was the feeling that he was not the only one in his head. It wasn’t often that Erik would feel that fluttering presence at the back of his mind, but it frustrated him whenever he did. Although it was a light presence, and not intrusive in the slightest, it still annoyed Erik that a telepath would just invite themselves into his mind as if they knew him and had a right to be there, and it was highly distracting to realise you weren’t alone in your mind, especially when you were trying to memorise complicated equations and formulas. More than once Erik had none too gently told whoever it was to kindly fuck off, and he was never sure whether he should be amused, or offended that the presence would swell with surprise each and every time they were caught, before flaring indignantly and finally fading away, resentment evident in the lingering traces of them.

More annoying than the telepath inviting themselves into Erik’s mind though, was the bewildering warmth and familiarity that would initially spread through him at the feel of their presence. It frustrated him because a stranger was trying to sneak into his mind, and so his mind had no business relaxing at the feeling of their consciousness’ meeting, as if he were greeting a friend after a long trip. It was just startling that his consciousness would so readily accept another’s presence considering how cautious he was in daily life.



Another thing that Azazel had been correct about, was the fact that Erik would surely meet the other mutants that were there at Oxford. The first was possibly the one that startled him most, however.

Erik had been quite contentedly reading through Dracula, when he suddenly felt that he wasn’t alone – Not in the same way he’d been dealing with for weeks now, but in the physical sense. Reaching with his powers for the coin in his pocket, Erik looked up with a glare on his face. The glare faltered slightly and turned to a frown of bewilderment, however, as he was met by his own face staring at him, his lips pulled into a bemused smile that simply didn’t suit him.

“I always thought we’d meet again,” Erik’s own voice told him, and he arched an eyebrow sceptically at the uncanny impostor.

“Did you now?” he asked, pulling the coin out of his pocket with barely discernable movements of his fingers.

And then his-doppelganger’s eyes shimmered and turned into memorable reptilian yellow, and Erik fought down the want to groan. Sitting before him was one mutant he had never been able to forget, her power simply too fascinating.

“Raven,” he acknowledged, and the obscene way his lips stretched into a pleased smile didn’t suit his face at all, Erik decided, before his faux-self blurred slightly and a woman with shoulder length blonde hair and light blue eyes looked at him. Erik simply frowned at her, “That is not the real Raven,” he stated, disdain barely concealed in his tone. Was she ashamed of her true form? How ridiculous. They were the future, and she was hiding behind a mask?

The woman before him met his gaze balefully before allowing herself to shift into her azure self. It didn’t escape Erik’s attention that she flinched at the gasps of horror as she did so, and it annoyed him that she did so, because it was his firm opinion that she looked better in her natural form. She should be proud of the fact that she was different, proud of who she was.

“You’re beautiful,” Erik commented, taking care to keep any possible inflection out of his tone, “You shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are,” and he was rewarded with a winning smile for his words.

“You’ve become the charmer, Lensherr,” Raven said, cocking her head to the side as she looked over at him, “Is that how you greet all the women you meet? Or just those from your past?”

Erik simply snorted derisively, fixed his gaze back on his book, and retorted, “Don’t misunderstand, it was an objective observation.”

To his surprise, Raven actually laughed at his words, and Erik felt distinctly uncomfortable for a moment. He wasn’t used to people laughing at him, they normally avoided him completely. Was it because she knew him from before his time with Shaw that Raven was unaffected by his rough demeanour? Erik frowned slightly at the thought before deciding that it didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if he was going to start to gush about old times or let the shapeshifter behind his defences just because she wasn’t scared of him.

Unexpectedly, the silence that stretched on between Raven and himself was almost … Companionable. She seemed content to watch the people as they went by, trying on their hair styles or eye colour once they were out of sight, while Erik pretended to read his book. As Erik’s eyes skated unseeingly over the words of the novel though, he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. There was a vital person, someone related to Raven, that was missing. Seeing her brought back carefully buried memories of blue eyes and warm laughter, of someone he was sure had been important. Erik frowned as he thought about it, unable to recall anything outside of ‘startling blue eyes’.

He put it out of his mind, however, as Raven spoke to him, asking what it was that brought him to England. For a moment, Erik missed the times when people knew not to talk to him, it usually saved him the irritation that came with small talk.

Tickling at the edge of his consciousness, he could feel the unnamed telepath’s amusement, and Erik sent the presence a half-hearted Be amused elsewhere, an almost smile playing with the edges of his mouth.



Meeting up with Hank had been decidedly less startling. Erik hadn’t known it, but Hank was actually in his Electrical Theory lecture class, since it was an ‘open’ class. The other mutant hadn’t even made his presence known to Erik until a few days after meeting Raven.

Erik had been distinctly irritated when somebody dared stand in his way of the chalkboard one afternoon, and that feeling simply intensified when he realised it was some timid person whose mouth was opening and closing, apparently unable to get the words out.

He was about two seconds away from snarling ‘Spit it out, or fuck off’ before the uncertain male said in an almost quavering voice, “Erik Lensherr, right?” and his eye twitched, actually twitched at the question.

The timid classmate took a step back and bit on his lips before saying a rush, “I’m sorry, it’s just that I went to school with you and Raven, and she said she’d spoken to you so I’d thought-”

“Fuck. Just, shut up,” Erik ground out, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath, and the other man’s mouth had closed with an audible snap, “Who are you?”

“Hank. Hank McCoy,” Erik noticed the way he was shifting from foot to foot and was decidedly frustrated by it, the name also meant absolutely nothing to him.

“Don’t remember you,” he said, a touch dismissively, hoping that would be enough for Hank to take the hint and leave him alone. Instead, Hank smiled ruefully and started to play with the strap of his bag.

“I didn’t think you would, Azazel said you didn’t remember him either,” and Erik couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow with interest at that.

“You’re one of us then?” he asked, taking Hank in with new eyes. He still found the shifting and timidness irritating – As he had thought with Raven, if Hank was a mutant, he should be prouder – but if Hank was a mutant … Well, Erik was at least slightly less inclined to throw him to the other side of the room to move him out of the way.

So, with self control the like of which Erik wasn’t sure he had, he simply sighed, and said through clenched teeth, “Wonderful as our reunion might be, can you move Hank? I’m in the middle of copying the notes down.”

Hank, as Erik expected, squeaked with surprise, before hurriedly sitting down in the seat closest to him, apparently intent on catching up on old times or something equally asinine. Erik had to take a few calming breaths before he could get back to his notes – The seat Hank was sitting on would have crumpled beneath him otherwise, metal legs and all.

---

Almost two months in to the University term, Erik still has no idea who the Telepath is. He’s tried asking the other mutants, but Hank pointedly changes the subject when Erik brings it up with him, and Azazel simply shrugs and says “You’ll find out eventually.” As for Raven, she simply grins mischievously and asks “You really have no clue?” as though he’s being incredibly dense. As for Erik … He is getting extremely close to threatening them all with the pointy end of a very sharp metal instrument if they don’t tell him soon. The fact that they’re being secretive about it quite possibly unsettles Erik more than the fact that the unknown Telepath is still slipping into his mind now and then, despite Erik’s constant demands that they get the fuck out.

One night when Erik is in the library late, he feels when the telepath’s presence curls around the edge of his consciousness and Erik actually lets his head fall into his hand with frustration. ‘You really can’t take a hint, you know’, he snarls, and in some deep, forgotten part of his mind, he realises it’s rather similar to someone he used to know. But who, Erik can’t recall, and he hears Raven’s words repeated to him You really have no clue?

Erik bites back a growl of frustration as focuses on his text book back again, eyes scanning to try and find where it was he was up to. After staring at the page blankly for a few minutes, the presence still weaving in and out of his consciousness almost playfully, Erik mentally sighs and shoots the presence a barbed thought of ‘If you’re going to insist on being there, you should at least tell me who the fuck you are’

There’s a sudden thump a few desks away, and Erik jerks his head around to glare at the moron who can’t even hold onto his books. As he stares, Erik realises that the stranger’s face is slightly panicked, his eyes staring down at the desk determinedly, tilting his head enough that his floppy, unkempt brown hair almost hides the fact that his eyes are darting about, two fingers resting up against his temple as he chews at his lower lip. A lower lip that Erik can’t help but notice is obscenely red. They’re red enough that Erik briefly wonders if the other man wears gloss or coloured balm or something, because surely that shade of red can’t be natural?

Then those eyes rise and meet Erik’s almost hesitantly, and Erik absolutely refuses to admit that he just drew a breath of surprise at exactly how blue those eyes are, refuses to acknowledge that they actually managed to draw such a reaction from him. A tongue darts out to wet those red lips, and Erik equally ignores the way that he watches that tongue, telling himself that he’s still glaring about the noise the other student had made.

Seconds pass in which the two men simply stare at one another, one trying to seem menacing and annoyed – though, really, he’s fascinated in a way he can’t explain - while the other’s lips tremble with unspoken words. And then another unseen student pushes their chair out with a noisy screech, and the moment is broken.

The floppy-haired man blurts, “I’m sorry,” before he snatches up his bag and hurriedly leaves the room, his hand lowering from his temple as he goes.

Erik isn’t entirely sure what compels him to do it, maybe he’s horrified about that horrendous sweater the other man is wearing, but he watches the other man’s retreating figure as it practically darts away. As the blue eyed man gets to the door, Erik can see him half turn his head to look over his shoulder, before he shakes his head as though telling himself not to do something.

When Erik looks back at the table the other man had just vacated, he can see that a Genetics textbook is sitting there. Normally, Erik couldn’t give a fuck if other students leave their books behind – it’s their own fault, he thinks. So, he can’t explain why this time he finds himself rising from his table and plucking the lost Genetics book up.

Thumbing through the book, he cringes slightly when he realises that blue-eyes is one of those people that highlight sections of his textbook. He comes to the back cover, and in the bottom corner on the inside, clearly printed he can read Property of Charles Xavier. Please return to room 404 if found, and Erik manages to stabilise himself with a firm hand on the desk before the assault begins.

My names Charles, by the way. Charles Xavier – I like everyone in class though Erik! They’re all nice and everyone has lovely minds … Oh, fine. If I absolutely must choose, I’d like you best – But that’s stupid Erik! I can’t play with you alone! The others will think I don’t like them – I hate it when you do that Erik! I hate it when I can’t read you! – That makes absolutely no sense. Now we’re both going to have a cold hand – I’m so happy that I met you Erik. We’ll always be friends, right?- Erik, you must come play with me in the summer, okay? Pinky promise! – Don’t you dare Erik! I’ll never speak to you again if you do! – Erik, you have to calm your mind. Erik! I’m so sorry Erik. I’m so, so sorry.

His textbooks and the Genetics book are completely forgotten as Erik takes off down the hall at a sprint, completely heedless of the way that the light fixtures twine together as he passes, running as fast as his legs can carry him, his eyes wide and searching. Of course – Of course there had been another Telepath he’d known, one who had absolutely refused to sop prying in his mind because he thought it was fascinating. How could he have forgotten?

Erik almost trips over someone as he comes skidding around the corner at the same time they take a step out, and it takes a brief moment of Erik looking back into wide, shocked blue eyes for him to realise that it’s Charles. And Erik is caught between wanting to punch his lights out for settling himself into his mind as though they hadn’t been separated for more than ten years, wants to beat him senseless for not coming forward and telling Erik it was him – The fact that he hadn’t remembered them hadn’t stoped Raven, Hank, or Azazel. He wants to yell and snarl profanities at him for being so stupid.

Instead, Erik just pulls Charles tight against him, the – still – smaller man’s arms automatically curling around Erik’s back just like they used to when they were kids. And Erik can feel that Charles is crying, can feel the dampness in his shirt, can feel a tickle at the back of his own eyes that he refuses to acknowledge.

It doesn’t stop him from growling, “You complete and utter fucking fool. I could kill you for so many things right now – and then bring you back to life and kill you all over again. How dare you - How dare you,” and Erik isn’t entirely sure what he’s mad about more - Charles’ silence, or his behaving as if he still has a right to Erik’s mind.

It doesn’t matter which really, because even now Erik can feel Charles’ consciousness reaching out to meet his, and it feels just like being welcomed home, and Charles is saying “I know, I know. But you didn’t remember me at all, and I just didn’t know what to do! I missed you so much, and you didn’t even remember and I’m sorry Erik. I’m sorry. I’m so so-”

Charles doesn’t manage to get through his third apology before Erik has jerked back out of Charles’ arms, and instead brings a fist down across his cheek. The fact that Charles can see the punch coming and simply closes his eyes, waiting, accepting it infuriates Erik and adds fuel to the fire and possibly makes him hit harder.

“The next time I tell you to get the fuck out of my mind, do it Charles! You don’t just get free access anymore.”

Erik refuses to allow himself to feel remorseful about the small amount of blood Charles spits out before he levels his gaze with Erik’s, his expression guarded.

“I’ll admit I deserved that. They all told me you’d be pissed off when you found out it was me. Let me make something perfectly clear though, Erik. I never, not once, went deep enough into your mind to see more than surface thoughts. It was only enough to actually feel your mind again. You can’t begin to understand how much I’ve missed you through these years. So, forgive me if I dared to crave that small amount of contact with you after all this time.”

“You could have just told me who you were,” Erik pointed out, and Charles flushed slightly at the words.

“You didn’t even remember me, how could I?”

With a heavy sigh, Erik felt the anger leave him and he was simply staring at Charles, trying to merge the boy in his memories, with the man that standing before him, his eyes an icy glare.

And then the glare gave way to an apologetic expression. Uncertainly, Charles raised a hand and placed it on Erik’s shoulder. ‘I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner’, the words came to him, and Erik could feel the sincerity in Charle’s mental voice, and it was ridiculous the way he actually felt ashamed of the way he’d lashed out in his anger.

Heaving an irritated sigh, Erik ran a hand through the back of his hair before he turned around and started making his way back to the library to get his things, not even sure what he was feeling at that moment in time.

As Charles fell into step beside him though, things felt more right than they had in a long time, and Erik glanced over at his childhood friend uncertainly – Where did they go from here? Where did they stand now? And then something occurred to Erik that made him snort in amusement, Charles looking up at him with an arched eyebrow

“You’re still a short arse, you know,” Erik told him, grinning as he realised Charles stood between his jaw and shoulders.

“Oh, shut up Erik,” Charles snapped, his lips quirking into a smile of its own accord at the familiarity of the remark, his eyes sweeping over the twisted metal of the lights with something akin to pride.

~X~

To part 3~

Cherik Fanfiction: There is no Future Without You - 1/7

2011-11-17T14:37:10Z

Title: There is no Future Without You
Word Count: 4 697
Pairing: Cherik
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Rating: M ...? I'm honestly bad at figuring out what rating things should be - Just look at the warnings.
Warnings: Love of the homosexual nature. Implications of sexual situations. Oh, and swearing.
Summary: Charles and Erik were friends when they were children - Until certain circumstances tore them apart. Many years later, when Erik moves to England so that he can study at Oxford University, he certainly doesn't expect to run into his childhood friend again.In fact, he doesn't expect any of the events that follow.
Notes: This is something that I wrote for ile_o, who drew this amazingly cute fanart for me (Which can be found here), gushing about how much she wanted to see a fic where Charles and Erik meet as children - But with the age difference. And this is my response to that cos the image just wouldn't leave me alone. So, here it is darling, and I hope to the gods of Tuesday that you like it. >///<

~X~

At the age of five, the course of Erik Lensherr’s life changed drastically – And not only because his mother had come to the conclusion that they should move to America. Although that was a large part of what brought about the change, it was not the majoring factor that decided Erik’s future.

When Erik first moved to New York, he absolutely loathed it – The other kids at school avoided him because of his accent, and the fact that he could only speak broken English didn’t help. Not that Erik cared about that because he just found the other children annoying, it simply frustrated him that he could hardly understand the teacher. The sole comfort to him then, was that he felt … Stronger, somehow, here in New York. It wasn’t until Erik turned seven that he realised the reason for this was because of his mutation.

Later in life, if he was asked when his mutation first revealed itself, Erik would say that he couldn’t remember. Which was a complete and utter lie – He remembered it well. He could recall with uncanny accuracy the way he felt as he stopped the pen that had been thrown at him in midair, before turning it over and hurling it back at that annoying Jessie guy, all with instinctual twitches of his fingers. And he could just as easily recall the mix of horrified and startled expressions on his classmates faces as they realised what he’d done. Erik could even remember sighing as he realised it was just another thing his schoolmates would avoid him for, a sigh that had turned into a groan as he considered what his mother’s reaction was going to be.

Erik certainly hadn’t expected she’d simply smile fondly at him, ruffle his hair and tell him that she knew he was special before returning to the dishes. He also hadn’t expected to be pulled out of regular classes and placed into a class for “gifted individuals”, which was simply the politically-correct way of saying “The class for those mutants we don’t want mixing with the other children”.

He could never have known then that moving into that classroom would be what set the path at his feet. Or, rather, would bring him to meeting the person who would play a major role in shaping his future.

---

When Erik came to stand in front of the door of his new classroom, he could positively feel his heart beating in his chest as if he were the new, foreign boy all over again, and the only thing offering him some scrap of calm was the coin he had buried in his pocket.

He took a moment to stuff his hand in his pocket and clasp the coin tightly – To some, it might have seemed strange, to be taking comfort in an unfeeling metal. But, as Erik found out just yesterday, perhaps it was the fact that it was metal that it calmed him.

Scowling at the door before him, Erik made no move to open it. He knew what they called this class through the rest of the school – The Freak room. And while that in itself didn’t bother him, he was sure that inside this room would be the same annoying class mates as before, the same kind of people who would look at him as if he were a mouse or cockroach or something equally unpleasant, all because he still had a slight accent despite having lived in America for two years. It was irritating, the way they all stared and whispered behind their hands when they noticed him, as if they thought he couldn’t understand what they were saying.

For half a second, Erik considered simply walking back out the school and demanding to return to Germany. Just as his feet began to shift so that he could turn and walk away however, the door was pulled open and Erik was met by a girl, her mouth pulled into an uncertain frown as she looked up at him, a strange defiance in her stance despite the fact that she was clearly a few years younger than Erik.

And then Erik blinked with surprise as her skin suddenly shimmered before turning blue, and the blonde hair shifted to red. “What do you want?” she asked him, her yellow, reptilian eyes looking at him suspiciously.

“Raven!” an adult’s voice admonished, a hint of exasperation in the tone, “That isn’t how we answer the door!”

Raven paused to glare at Erik once more with suspicion before she turned and retreated back into the room. Erik barely even had time to realise that someone had just drastically changed colour before his eyes, before the door was pulled open to reveal the tall figure of who Erik presumed to be the teacher, and his chance for escape had eluded him.

“Ah,” the teacher hummed as she looked down at Erik with a kind face. He simply scowled up at her, lamenting the fact that now he had no choice but to go into the room and deal with the fact that he was in New York instead of in Germany as he should be. “You must be the new student,” she said with a smile, “Erik, right?”

“Yes,” Erik grunted.

“Pleasure to meet you Erik, I’m Miss Harlow. Don’t be shy now, I’m sure the other kids are looking forward to meeting you.”

I highly doubt that, Erik thought sourly as Miss Harlow stepped aside and ushered Erik in the room. The door closed with an ominous, clear, click, and Erik had to struggle to not audibly sigh.

“The other teachers tell me you didn’t show any reason to be in here before yesterday, is that correct?”

Surveying the room with inevitable curiosity, Erik simply nodded at the teacher as she prattled away, asking him inane questions like Did you bring along your books? Did you remember to tell your mother about the change of class? Mr Clarke tells me that your favourite classes were Maths and Science, is that right?

Erik watched with vague interest as Raven sat on a multi-coloured matt, her face screwed up with concentration as she attempted to change her skin tone to suit the matt beneath her. There was an older looking boy curled up in the corner of the room with a book in hand, his bright-red skin clashing horribly with the mustard yellow of the chair. Erik didn’t even notice he had a tail until he used it to turn the page. By the toy shelves, there were two smaller boys wrestling over some toy or another. One boy hurriedly clasped his hands over his ears when the other let loose a shrill noise that made Erik flinch.

“As you can see, things are slightly more hectic in here than you might be used to,” Miss Harlow said to Erik, the corners of her mouth twitching. With frustration or bemusement, Erik couldn’t tell. “And with that, sit wherever you’d like Erik. We’ll begin maths shortly, I think –” Suddenly the young teacher stopped talking in a soft voice to Erik and suddenly yelled out “Sean! Give Alex that bear right now! We don’t want another accident like last week!”

Erik made his way through the desks uncertainly as the two wrestling boys suddenly stopped and the one with dark brown hair pouted profusely before relinquishing the stuffed bear that he’d been trying to claim. The Sandy-haired one grinned widely before pointedly saying “Ha-Ha!”, which simply made the darker haired boy open his mouth and begin to wail in that high-pitched keening noise again, forcing Erik to wince. He certainly hoped he wasn’t that irritating at that age.

Sighing softly to himself as he threw his bag atop one of the desks not already taken, Erik busied himself with pulling out his books and arranging his desk. As he pulled out his pencil case, he couldn’t help but wonder how Miss Harlow was going to be able to teach them, considering there were students from all ages in the room.

A quick glance around made Erik believe that the red-tailed boy was the eldest, while the boys that had been fighting over the toy might be the youngest.

Erik was pulled from his musing as a tentative, but sure, voice spoke to him though. Already annoyed about the change in routine, Erik turned his head to glare at the speaker, but found himself momentarily stunned by the big, bright blue eyes that met his, before realising that the words the boy spoke to him should have surprised him more than his eye colour.

“Guten Tag,” the blue eyed boy repeated, his eyebrows pulling together with uncertainty. “Was that correct? Guten Tag? I’m afraid I don’t know German at all, but that seemed to be the right thing to say.”

Erik simply blinked at the boy slowly, trying to decide how he should be reacting. On the one hand, he was stunned that someone was greeting him in his home-language, but it was by a boy who appeared to be five years old who then went on to say that he didn’t even know German. And Erik certainly hadn’t spoken to the boy yet for him to know about his accent, so how did he even know about Erik’s background?

Quite suddenly, the boy smiled sheepishly at Erik, confusing him even more, “I’m sorry. Papa always tells me I shouldn’t look into people’s minds without their knowledge, he says it frightens them when I talk about things I shouldn’t even know yet. You just think so loudly though, I couldn’t help it. My name’s Charles, by the way, Charles Xavier, and I’m a telepath,” he finished with a proud grin that Erik couldn’t help but return, albeit more uncertainly.

“Erik Lensherr,” he said, and Charles’ eyes lit up even more than they already were at the sound of his voice. Oh, here we go, Erik sighed mentally and waited for the question – ‘Why do you speak like that?’ He can’t count the amount of times someone has asked him and –

“I know,” Charles told him with an amused smile, before frowning slightly and adding, “and I like your accent. The other kids are just jealous of it, you know. It makes you interesting.”

Once again, all Erik seemed to be able to do was sit there and blink with surprise at the words pouring from Charles’ mouth. He didn’t sound like a five year old, and more to the point –

“Telepath,” Charles repeated, with a slight pout this time, “It means I can read people’s minds … I suppose it also means that my speech is advanced or something? Papa says it’s just because I’m clever, but –”

“Charles, do you shut up?” Erik asked, completely unable to help himself. He had known the boy for a mere five minutes, and in that time Charles had spoken to him more than any of his previous class’ classmates. It was unnerving.

Charles simply laughed delightedly at Erik’s words, before smiling with more mischief to his grin than a five year old should. “Sometimes,” he answered, and Erik fought the want to groan. He just had to choose the seat next to the class’ chatterbox didn’t he?

“Oh! I’m not the chatterbox! You should hear Alex. Hank’s pretty bad when it comes to science too – Of course, he’s a lot older than you or I, he’s turning ten soon. And then there’s Azazel-”

Erik was caught somewhere between listening to Charles’ rambling with amusement, and wanting to beat his head repeatedly against his desk.

---

After having been in the Mutant-Class for a few weeks, Erik was mildly surprised to realise that, aside from the class being disrupted by Alex suddenly letting loose a plasma blast – Something that Charles would yell “Duck!” to seconds before it happened - or Sean screaming a little too loudly and cracking the windows, or by the diverse range in ages, it was really no different to the other class’ he’d been in. They were even ushered out of the classroom for sports every Thursday afternoon, although Erik couldn’t help but notice that they were kept away from the ‘regular’ kids.

It annoyed him that they had to be kept separate. He didn’t see any reason for it – Having extra abilities didn’t mean they loved to play dodgeball any less. But Erik had seen the looks the other kids gave his new classmates – They were afraid, and not sure how to react to any of them. Even with the mutants who’s powers weren’t obvious, the school knew they were in the “Special” class, and instantly labelled them as someone to be avoided.

“You shouldn’t let it worry you so much Erik,” Charles sighed softly as he fell to the grass beside Erik, apparently deciding he didn’t want to play Dodgeball today.

“Can’t help it,” Erik replied, not even bothering to pretend to be frustrated by Charles listening in to his thoughts anymore. He’d come to realise that regardless of whether Erik wanted him to or not, Charles pointedly refuses to accept that Erik’s thoughts are meant to be private. “It’s stupid.”

“Perhaps, but people always find it difficult to accept something that’s different.”

Erik simply sighed and reclined back on the grass, deciding it simply wasn’t worth arguing with Charles. He had a tendency to cheat and call you out when you lied.

“I do not!” Charles growled in response, folding his arms and heaving his breath out in a loud huff. Erik could all too easily imagine the pout on his face too, and he failed dismally at not smiling in amusement at the younger boy’s antics.

“Shut up Erik!”

Erik would have apologised for being amused at Charles’ expense … But he enjoyed it entirely too much to feel genuinely sorry for it, and Charles clearly knew that. Which was why, two seconds later, the wind was knocked from Erik’s lungs as Charles lunged at him, repeating “Apologise! Apologise!” over and over, while Erik simply laughed harder as he fought off Charles flailing fists.

---

Although he still disliked New York, Erik found that he didn’t hate school as much anymore. In fact, he even found that he enjoyed having discussions with Hank about Science, and he rather enjoyed Azazel’s company.

Then there was Charles of course, and Erik supposed he could say Charles was the reason why going to school didn’t suck so much anymore. It was Charles he spent most of his time with, after all, and he apparently spoke enough about the younger boy that his mother had said she wants to meet his new friend. It surprised Erik at first to hear Charles referred to as his friend, but as he’d thought about it that night, he supposed Charles was – It was certainly Charles he first greeted of a morning, and Charles he normally spoke to about homework if there was something he couldn’t quite figure out on his own.

That didn’t mean that Erik liked the rest of the school yet though. Even in his own class he still had little patience for either Sean or Alex, and the extent of his interaction with Raven was for her to glare at him for unknown reasons before she went back to whatever she was doing. And it still annoyed him to no end that the general population of the school they went to avoided him and the other kids, but he certainly didn’t dread waking up of a morning anywhere near as much as he used to.

Out of the entire school though, there was one person that Erik decided he simply did not like in the slightest. Moira MacTaggert. She was the only normal student who actually associated herself with those in the Mutant class, and it made Erik’s blood boil every time he saw her playing with Charles.

He supposed it was strange, because he didn’t care if she played with Raven or Hank or any of the others, but the very second Moira found Charles in the playground, Erik’s scowl would deepen, and he would storm off to the library to find something decent he hadn’t already read.

Charles would always look at him with confusion when they came back from lunch on days he did this, sometimes earnestly asking him why he didn’t like Moira.

“She’s really interesting! And she doesn’t care that we’re mutants at all! I like her,” Charles would say, his eyes wide and confused, his mouth pulled into a frown so deep Erik wanted to tug the corners up. Instead, he would make a point to ignore Charles for the rest of the day when he was foolish enough to say this.

By the end of the day though, Charles’ eyes would be brimming with unshed tears and Erik would cave and pull Charles into a hug, the younger boy’s head instantly ramming itself into Erik’s chest as he ground out things like “Stupid Erik! Can’t understand you at all. Thought you were mad at me! Don’t do that again! I hate it when you don’t talk to me! Can’t even read your mind when you’re like that!”

What Charles never seemed to realise was that it was normally just as Moira was within eyeshot that Erik would pull Charles to him, glaring at Moira as though she were trying to steal his prized coin collection.

The human would leave Charles alone for a few days after that, and Erik knew that if Charles ever caught him he’d be in trouble, but it gave him a few days where he didn’t have to worry about someone stealing Charles away at least.

---

One thing Erik rather enjoyed was the walk home from school. Initially, it was simply because it meant he was finally going home and would soon be able to immerse himself in doing things he enjoyed - like practising his powers, or leafing through his science book.

He found another reason to enjoy the walk home from school though in the winter. Even though he’d been in the Mutant class for a good couple of months now, Erik had never taken the time to notice how his classmates went home. He was normally too busy thinking about what he was going to do when he got home to pay attention to what was going on around him, too busy wondering what Mama was going to be doing for dinner that night.

When Erik actually focused on the people walking around him for a change though, he instantly kicked himself for not paying more attention earlier. There, not three people in front of him, was the small form of Charles, walking home alone, and Erik couldn’t help but frown at that.

It was fine for him to walk home alone, he was a big-boy. But Charles … He was small, so much so that even Sean and Alex were a little taller than him, though he was a year older than those two.

Biting his lip, Erik watched as Charles turned the corner, trying to make a decision. If he was home late, his Mama would surely scold him … But, as Erik came to the street Charles had turned down and realised he was walking completely alone down the snow-covered street, Erik didn’t hesitate to run towards the younger boy, skidding a little in the snow as he called his name so he’d wait.

“Erik!” Charles said, his lips pulling into an overjoyed smile as he realised who was calling him. “What are you doing here? I didn’t realise you lived this way.”

“I don’t, I live that way,” Erik replied, pointing in the direction of his house, “But … Uh. That is…” Erik fumbled for words, unsure of what he was trying to say.

Charles simply cocked his head to the side, listening to the thoughts or feelings Erik couldn’t articulate, before smiling softly at him, “I appreciate the thought Erik, but I’m perfectly fine walking home by myself.”

Erik didn’t bother saying anything to that, he simply stood next to Charles, waiting for him to continue walking. He didn’t care if Charles thought he was fine walking alone, Erik just didn’t feel it was right that he was walking by himself.

After a moment, Charles sighed and rolled his eyes before starting to walk again, Erik keeping pace beside him. They walked on in companionable silence for five houses, before Charles said softly, “Actually, I don’t normally walk home, so it was a touch unnerving,”

For a moment, Erik was going to scoff and say something snarky about Charles’ lack of height making him an easy target, but then he was distracted by the way Charles’s hands were holding onto the straps of his bags. His bare hands, and it had been snowing for the last hour. Erik’s mouth instantly pulled into a frown.

“Where are your mittens Charles?” the question fell from his lips before he even had a chance to realise what he was about to ask.

Charles instantly looked over at him like a child who’d just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, but then his blue eyes iced over with mild defiance. “At home,” he said simply, his eyes narrowed as he continued to look at Erik, “And while I appreciate the concern, you’re not my mother Erik.”

For a moment, Erik was taken aback by Charles’ response, it was rare for Charles to be so … Cold to anyone, and Erik briefly wondered about Charles’ home life. Erik knew that he was close to his father, but as he thought about it … He didn’t hear him talk about his mother much. Erik’s eyebrows knitted together with concern.

“Please don’t – Don’t worry Erik. It’s nothing, truly,” Charles sighed, and it didn’t escape Erik’s attention that Charles was still frowning, that there was something lingering behind his eyes, but decided it better not to ask.

Instead he tugged his mittens off his own hands and silently set about pulling them onto Charles’, ignoring his startled “Erik, what -?” He barely even managed to get one partially on before Charles starting protesting.

“No. No! Absolutely not! Your hands will get cold if you do that!” Charles objected, trying to pull his hand free of Erik’s grip and out of the mitten, his eyebrows furrowing together and creating a crease between in his irritation.

Erik simply sighed and was inclined to tell Charles to stop being so difficult, but the icy fire in his eyes made him think better of it. Instead, he said, “Fine. I’ll wear one, and you wear the other.”

“That makes absolutely no sense,” Charles muttered, though he stopped resisting and allowed Erik to pull the mitten up on his hand – Though it was obviously too big for him. “Now we’re both going to have a cold hand.”

Without even thinking about it, Erik took hold of Charles’ still bare hand with his own equally bare hand, and raised an eyebrow at the smaller boy, silently asking if he had any more objections.

Charles shook his head, though the crease was still there on his brow and he was still pouting slightly as they continued to walk along the street.

From that day on, even when it wasn’t winter and Charles stopped leaving his mittens at home, Erik walked him home, their hands still clasped as if they still needed the warmth.

---

The day after Erik’s eighth birthday was decidedly the worst day of his life. It was even worse than moving to America, and that had been pretty high on the mantle of “Days that sucked”.

The day after Erik’s eighth birthday, Erik had actually been called out of class. The only other time that had happened had been the day Erik discovered his powers, and so he looked at Charles curiously to see if he could glean some idea about what it might be about.

He was slightly startled when he realised that Charles’ mouth was slack with shock and he was trying his hardest not to meet Erik’s eye, his eyes looking suspiciously watery. That was the first sign that whatever he was being called into the principal’s office for was not good news.

Never had he imagined exactly how bad that news was though.

“We – We’re so sorry Mr. Lensherr but … The doctors say that there was nothing that could be done and -,” Erik tuned it all out. Erik hardly even realised that Miss Harlow’s hand was on his shoulder as though trying to offer some semblance of comfort to him.

The walk home that day he spent alone, having been sent home directly after the meeting with the principal, and Erik’s feet had dragged the whole way, his greenish grey eyes darting all over the street trying to tell himself to wake up, because surely this was just a bad dream.

Still, when he came close to the apartment that was home and he saw the flashing lights, Erik’s feet suddenly took off beneath him and he was running. Running towards those flashing lights, his mind still refusing to accept what they told him.
It wasn’t until he pushed open the apartment door that wasn’t locked and Erik saw the amount of police and officials that were standing around, taking photo’s that Erik realised it was no lie. His mother had been murdered.

He lost track of the next few hours – He slipped into a coma of sorts, his consciousness taking a life of its own. Some distant part of his mind remembered the police having to leave in a hurry because the cutlery had started flying around the apartment with a life of it’s own, their guns pulled out of their holsters to join the sweeping, angry cloud of metal that was swirling around his body like a shield. Vaguely recalled them saying “We need someone to calm him down, but who?!” and not caring - he was too busy screaming himself hoarse with his cries of heartache and anger. The neighbours had to leave, unable to stay in their apartments listening to the guttural sounds pulling themselves out of the child’s throat, and equally unsettled by the fact that everything metal within the building was rattling angrily. He didn’t even want to listen to the soothing voice in his mind that was murmuring ‘Erik, Erik, you need to calm down. Erik, you need to calm your mind’

It wasn’t until the sky had turned dark, and his sobs had long ago faded into the occasional hiccups that Erik realised he could feel Charles inside his mind, that it felt as though he were enveloped in someone’s warm embrace, even though he was most definitely alone in the apartment.

Around the same time, Erik realised that he was acutely aware of each and every piece of metal within the room, as if it were also trying to find a way to comfort him.

I’m sorry Erik. I am so, so sorry, the voice of Charles was whispering, and Erik allowed the sound of it, and the warmth of Charles being there, in his mind, to lull him into an uneasy sleep.


The very next morning, Erik was shipped off to an Orphanage in Brooklyn, and he wasn’t even given a chance to say goodbye to Charles, or the few friends he’d made. He was barely even given enough time to collect his belongings and say goodbye to the only place in this country that held memories of his mama.

In that moment, Erik wasn’t sure who he hated more – The bastard who stole his mother from him, or the unfeeling police who simply saw him as another mutant child undeserving of any pity, despite the traumatic experience he’d just experienced.

As the police car pulled away from the apartment block, Erik thought he caught a flash of a small someone running towards the car, yelling out “Stop. Stop! Wait!”, but then Erik had buried his head into the single duffel bag that now held his entire life, trying to fight off more tears.

~X~

Part 2

Can I just say, I had alot of fun writing Charles and Erik as children? <33 Hope you guys liked it as much as I~

Also, this fic is in fact finished. And all seven parts are up =D

A really short UlquiHime drabble <3

2011-10-30T12:25:42Z

Just dropping off a really short little drabble that I wrote after hearing about Ulquiorra singing a ridiculously shippy song.
I might expand on this some more later, but for now ... Enjoy this little snippet~~

~X~

Orihime’s breath caught in her throat as she watched Ulquiorra perform.

She’d never imagined him to be the kind to lose himself to music before, he was usually so reserved. But as he held the microphone up awkwardly, and his lips formed the words to the song, his voice practically curling around the lyrics, she felt her heart skip a beat before it started to thud loudly in her ears.

It might have been the lyrics of the song that were affecting her - They were unexpectedly romantic, considering it was Ulquiorra who chose the
song. But she was fairly sure it was the way Ulquiorra’s eyes were boring into hers that made her realise there was more to his song choice
than met the eye, and the very implications of that had her swallowing nervously as she willed the blush away.

~X~

And that is possibly the shortest thing I've ever posted. Gods I wish I could get out of this writing funk I'm in.

Fancy meeting you here

2011-10-21T11:01:15Z

Hey there everyone!!

It's been a while hasn't it?? I'm sorry about that - I've honestly been swallowed by Tumblr .. And I can't quite find it in myself to want to drag myself back out. I'm rather enjoying the hole it's sucked me into, haha.

For any of you who really want to find me again in the places I'm more active ... There's Tumblr, or Twitter. I'd be happy to talk to you through either of those, because I just don't know whether I'll become "Active" here on LJ again or not. That being said, I will, obviously, still post any writing I do here.

Speaking of which, you might be wondering why it's been so long since you've seen any of that - Well ... That's because I just don't have the motivation for it right now. I start something out ... And just get stuck. It's annoying really. I've got so many things started out that I just can't finish.

Now that I'm here, I feel like I should be giving a quick update, so, here's what's happened in my life since that last entry;

- The friend that I was upset with in the last entry ... Well, I'm fairly sure it's safe to assume I won't be hearing from her - or her boyfriend - again. I had enough of her silence, told her I was picking up my stuff, did so ... Aaaand despite the fact that she's moving in January, I still haven't heard from her again. And in this case, here are some lyrics that sum up my feelings about that extremely well: I bid farewell to you, fair-weathered friend. I know someday you'll get what you deserve. (From Sink or Swim by Falling in Reverse, for anyone who's interested)

- I started going to the gym ... Not the work out on the treadmill and get really sweaty part (Gods, not that) I go for classes. Specifically, I take Yoga, Pilates, Body Balance and Body Step. It's not bad, I feel better for going ... And I've always meant to take up a yoga class, so I'm rather pleased with myself for that.

- Don't know if I told anyone here, but I got my license and a car. Which is partially why I'm not on here as much as I'd like to be - Because, as much as having a car means I get home quicker ... It also means I'm able to go off and do things after work that I wouldn't have been able to before.

- Uhm ... ... I got into a new ship. Cherik - Or, Charles and Erik from X-Men. First class is a movie that just OOZES gay. Quite possibly more than Sherlock Holmes did, and that is really saying something. The ship is so darn tragic, but so perfect it's painful *sigh* For those of you who dare to venture onto my Tumblr ... You'll see alot of that there.

- Through Cherik I also developed a thing for James McAvoy. His eyes completely undo me ... And, as a result, I've started a James McAvoy movie collection. I'm undecided if that means I have to get Shameless or not since ... It's a TV series, and I only want it for him ... But I have this thing where I can't haves series incomplete ... Idk what to do with that one.

- In about a year's time I'm going to be moving up to QLD. Long story short, my parents decided they wanted to move back up there, and as much as I adore where I am ... I don't want to stay here alone. And I would be truly alone if they left - My grandparents are also going to be moving up there so they can be near their grandkids, so it makes sense to at least give it a go. If I don't like it up there, I can always come back to Melbourne.

- Something I'm kinda scared, yet excited about, is the fact that I've made an appointment to see an Orthodontist. I've dealt with having bad teeth (Well - Technically, a single-bad-tooth) all my life, and I've had enough of it. I realised how much it was actually affecting my life and my self-confidence so ... It was time to bite the bullet and do something about it. What that something is going to be yet, I don't know since I'm due to go for my assessment in just over a week's time but ... Well, it'll be for the better. Even if it is gonna cost me a small fortune to do it.

Aaaaand really, those are the only things I can think of that I can update you guys about. As I said - for anyone who wants to see more of me, or get to know me better ... My tumblr and Twitter are up there. If you decide to follow me at either of those, please don't be shy and interact with me. I actually want to get to know you all better too. ~~I must admit ... I do miss my icons TT^TT~~

Just a TL;DR rant to get things off my chest and out of my head

2011-08-30T15:57:32Z

Alright. I'm livid. Not just pissed off, I have officially reached the point of Livid.

To the person I'd believed to be my friend, I do not appreciate this silence.

At first, I wasn't mad you know. Oh, I was hurt - You damned well decided that I wasn't worth seeing on my birthday. I don't care if it's your boyfriend's birthday on the same day, it was my first one spent away from my parents. The first one I decided to spend with friends instead - To the point of saying to my Parentals that I can't see them for it because I wanted to spend it with you instead.

And then what do you go and do? Get your BF to inform me that I can't see you because he's taking you away. I wasn't alright with that, I was hurt by that. Hurt by the fact that you didn't want to even see me for my birthday, but I wasn't mad. Oh no, I was actually understanding about that. Hurt, but understanding ... Because I'd thought that I'd still see you soon after, I'd let you know that I was hurt by the callous way I was told I wouldn't be seeing my best friend for my birthday, hurt because it made me feel excluded, and hurt because I'd made a point to tell my Parents I couldn't see them on my birthday - Do you have any idea what your sudden decidal to not see me meant? It meant I spent my birthday alone. ALONE when I had been looking forward to seeing you - I was even gonna wear that cute dress you've been trying to convince me to wear.

The problem here isn't that you left me alone on my birthday anymore - I wasn't even mad about that. However, it's been over a month now and I'm yet to see you. Hell, I've hardly even HEARD from you, despite the fact that I've been messaging you. Aside from the times when I made a point to call you to let you know things I'd thought you'd want to know - Getting my license and then car - I haven't spoken to you at all. You haven't even messaged to se how things are going with the driving. Yet, you were meant to be my best friend.

So, yes, now, I am fucking pissed off with you. If I'd been in your shoes, I'd have been trying my damndest to see you after your birthday, not just going "Yeah, I'll let you know" and then not even bothering to update you on my plans for the weekend.

This isn't even about the birthday anymore, this is about my supposed best friend being "too busy" to meet up with me, and, apparently, too busy to even reply to my texts. And you know what the worst of all this is? The fact that you would abandon me like this after all the times I've been there for you without a moments hesitation. The second you told me you and your BF were having problems, what did I say? "Are you okay. Do you need to come over?" Each and every bloody time. Remember how there was that entire week when I met up with you so that I could help distract you from the fact that you were having problems? All I've done is be there for you when you need me ... And this is how you show how much you appreciated that? I might have bought the "I've been really busy" excuse for a week, or two. But, you're not even TRYING to get in touch with me - What am I supposed to make of that?

Do you have any idea of how hard it is to try and convince myself that I've got to get used to seeing movies alone again, or how frustrating it is that you're doing this - Not because it came as a complete surprise, but because I'd been afraid of it happening. You knew I have insecurities about this happening, but I'd actually thought our friendship had come to a point where I didn't have to be afraid of you abandoning me. I'd thought you'd come to care for me as much as I cared for you.

You know what really hurts about this? The fact that there wasn't even any warning. The fact that you haven't even given me a reason why you're not talking to me anymore, why you're distancing yourself. That you would even do this hurts, but the fact that there were no signs, no chance for me to prepare myself ... That is what kills me.

And worse, I can't even understand why. I've sat here for days upon days of trying to figure out what it was that I did wrong - What it was that made you suddenly decide you don't want to see me anymore - And I can't come up with ANYTHING. Even the whole birthday thing, I tried my hardest to not let your BF know that I was annoyed about what happened because I didn't want to spoil HIS birthday. Maybe that's the part that kills me. That I can't even think of anything that would cause this sudden distance, or maybe it's that you're abandoning me after all. That I'd finally come to trust that you wouldn't hurt me, and then you go and do this.

But, you know what? I've had enough of it. I've had enough of wondering what I've done wrong. I'm sick to death of trying to figure out why - It isn't an easy thing to do when you've got absolutely no idea what started it. For all I know, maybe you've been stewing over something I'd said off hand and you've been shitty about that without saying a word - and I wouldn't know because I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU AT ALL.

So, this is it. This is me saying enough is enough - I'm not going to sit around waiting for you to wake the fuck up and realise how much you're hurting me with this silence - How much the silence from both of you is making me want to break down and cry every goddamn time I hear your names. I can't even drive without thinking of you - Do you have any idea of what that's like?! No, of course you wouldn't.

So, fuck you. I'm not going to mope around waiting for you anymore. I'm going to join a gym and do classes. I'm going to go to my parents more often. I'm going to throw myself into doing whatever it takes for me to not have to think of you and why you've decided I'm not good enough to be your friend anymore. Because I've had enough of the waiting.

Oh sure, in my heart of hearts, I hope you'll realise what you've done and come back - And, chances are, the next time you and he have an argument, that's exactly what you'll do. Because at that moment you'll remember that I'm the kind of friend who was there for you no matter what time it was, no matter what you needed, and you'll want me to be there again. But you know something? Next time ... Don't expect me to be so giving. I might accept you again - But it is going to take me a hell of a long time to get over the hurt from what you're doing to me right now. And it's going to take me even longer to forgive - What? You think you could just come crawling back and everything would be all find and dandy again? Fuck no. I'm so mad at you right now that I don't even know if I would acknowledge your presence if I ran into you at the movies. I'm so upset by this silence that I don't know that I could ever let you into my heart again ...

I fucking well trusted you not to hurt me! And now you've gone and shoved a dagger right through me. I'm sure I'll be able to stitch the wound back together - I have before - but things like that leave a scar. I'm not likely to forget how easily you threw me away because you got "busy", and you'll just have to deal with the consequences of your actions. I'll still be there when you need me, because that's simply the kind of friend I am, but I'm not about to go out of my way for you anymore. I'm not going to drop everything I'm doing just because you need to talk. You've taken that part of me for granted and I just don't know how I can be so giving to you anymore.

The most annoying part is, I still love you, and so I want you to come back into my life. I want it so badly that I can't even begin to express... It's heartbreaking to realise that I'm probably going to be seeing The Lion King at the cinema's alone because I don't even know if you'll be talking to me by then. ... Maybe that's what hurts the most in all of this. Wanting to understand what went wrong and how I can fix it, but not knowing if you even want to be in my life anymore. Just when I finally do the things you've been wanting me to do ... You vanish.

In the end, I guess all I really can say is Fine. If that's the way you want it to be, I'll just have to find a way to deal with it. But I am so not okay with anything that's happening right now. I've been through hard times before, I've had people just walk away without explanation before but you ... You're the one that's hurting the most. I just wish you knew that - The sad part is, I don't think you do.

And so, maybe someday you'll wake up and realise something's missing. But, by that point, I'll be a mere shade of what I used to be. Then again, maybe you won't - Maybe to you, my friendship meant just that little. If you can abandom me so easily, it doesn't inspire the want to believe that you actually valued me at all.

I just ... don't know what to do. I want you in my life, but I need to somehow come to terms with the fact that, maybe ... You don't want to be there. And that right there is the most heartbreaking thing I've ever had to try to come to terms with. It's one thing to grow distant from a person, a complete other to have them suddenly cut you off completely.
Forgive the moroseness F-List. I don't expect a single one of you to read that, but I really needed to get all that out, or else I was likely to explode. FYI - Missing by Evanescence fits my thoughts about the situation perfectly right now.
... And THIS is why I needed uplifting/happy music.

Looking for Song Recs from you all.

2011-08-28T08:26:19Z

Alright F-List, I'm looking to you all for help here.

I want more Song Recs. Specifically for Uplifting songs - Songs that make you smile when you're sad. The ones that inspire you to keep trying when you're feeling hopeless. The ones that help you push through hard times... You know the ones I mean, the ones that help restore your self confidence and make you go "I'm going to do this! You can't bring me down!"

... Kinda like that Watch Me Shine song from Legally Blonde. Or, So What? by Pink. Songs like Walking on Sunshine, even.

I just want Happy songs. What have you all got for me??

It's been a while...

2011-08-20T16:38:18Z

It's been ages since I actually posted anything, with the exception of that fic the other day.

Which means, it's also been an age since I did a meme =D

1. Do you hoard anything? If so, what is it/what are they?
Books. I can't bring myself to part with them - So I have books I read when I was a teen that I know I'm not going to read anytime in the future ... But they were a part of my childhood so ...

Also, soft toys. I have alot that have memories attached to them, so I can't find it within myself to get rid of them.

2. Have you been to Europe (if N.American) or been to N.America (if European)
No. Because I'm in neither of those continents. I've been to Japan though

3. What one word defines you the most? (have 2 words if it's too hard)
... Quirky

4. Do you laugh often? What does your laugh sound like?
I guess so? And I don't know. It sounds ... Happy?

5. How do you brainstorm (i.e bits of paper, typed rant, prompt list, talk through with someone?).
Depends on what I'm brainstorming. If I'm trying to sort an issue out, I'll rant it out on LJ. If I'm brainstorming fic ... I just go with my gut instinct and start writing.

6. Do you have many plot bunnies you can't write them all, focus on one set of ideas, or just write and hope a plot will occur to you? (or other, describe)
I've got so many plot bunnies I have to make a list of them sometimes, or else I completely forget about them. But before I can get through those, I get hit by another one that demands to be written immediately.

7. Do you scrapbook/make photo albums/calendars? Or do they pretty much stay on the memory card?
Uhm. Stay on the memory card/computer. I'm too lazy to go get them developed, even though I mean to.

8. Do you consider yourself tech savvy?
Not particularly. I'm familiar with technology ... But there's alot I don't understand XD

9. What is your primary OS (Windows, MAC, Linux) and type?
Windows. I want to get a MAC though.

10. What if any are your favourite gaming platform?
Playstation 2, or the DS.

11. Who is your favourite artist/favourite artists?
Corey Taylor from Slipknot/Stonesour. I think he's extremely versatile, so I have alot of respect for what he does. I suppose also Bert McKracken from The Used for the same reason ... Hey, it didn't specify what kind of medium! If I WERE to talk about art, Rusky. I love seeing her art so much. Tim Burton's art fascinates me too. And I really love the Concept artist behind Tangled and The Little Mermaid - Glen Keane? OH! And also the artists of Clamp!

12. What is your favourite style of art?

Uhm ... Anime/manga-style, I guess?

13. What are your top five interests?
Vampires, Anime/Manga, Sprituality in almost any form, Music - It's my addiction, Japan and Japanese culture.

14. What is your current wallpaper?
My birthday present from Rusky ♥

15. Do you pay for internet or leech signal and hope for the best?
Pay, of course.

16. Who is your favourite poet? Name one line.
I don't have one. I never really understood Poetry. I can't even quote a line from a poem I'm familiar with.

The only one I have is some really vague impression of a Robert Frost poem. Something about taking the road less travelled...

17. To snark or not to snark, that is the question?
Snark, of course. Where would the fun in life come from if we didn't?

18. What was your worst or best dream?
Uh ... My worst was one where I was being gassed to death. I remember seeing my body fall before managing to wake up. My best ... I can't really remember. The ones that play out like Video games, maybe? They're the ones I enjoy most, haha.

19. Do you wake up too early, on time, or too late (in general)
Between on time and late XD So ... A little late, but in time enough to get ready if I'm quick and don't mess around

20. Can you speak more than one language? If so, write a sentence in non-English language.
I can speak a little Japanese ... Nihon wa ikkitai! Which simply means I want to go to Japan!

... I need more reasons to use my Tom icons.

UlquiHime Smut - Threads to Unravel

2011-08-18T14:44:04Z

Name: Threads to Unravel
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2 284
Summary: Orihime reacts in unexpected ways to the sight of Ulquiorra in a suit. PWP
Notes: I wrote this to celebrate the opening of ulori_erotica, and also for Issues and Rusky, as my way of saying "Thankyou for an amazing job on the Com. You guys are awesome" ♥

I hope that everyone can enjoy this =D ~~And may this also signify the end of my writers block~~

~X~

Teeth bit into her lower lip as she attempted to hold in a barely suppressed moan of appreciation. Ulquiorra had just walked into their shared apartment, having returned from a job interview, and Orihime was completely unable to tear her eyes away.

She wasn’t sure what it was that was fuelling her sudden desire exactly. It might have been the way he looked in the fitted black suit, but, as Ulquiorra shrugged out of the jacket and Orihime’s arousal increased to degree’s she hadn’t anticipated, she thought that maybe it was simply Ulquiorra in those black trousers and white dress shirt, the ensemble completed by a plain black tie … Or possibly just Ulquiorra in a suit, regardless.

Whatever the reason, the fact was that Orihime could feel a pounding in her lower regions that was demanding attention - a pounding that only seemed to intensify as Ulquiorra looked over at her, a small smile on his face as he did so.

Letting loose a shaky sigh, Orihime closed her book and rose to greet Ulquiorra, trying to, at least momentarily, ignore the throbbing she felt. That thought was quickly discarded as Ulquiorra’s hand came up to the knot in his tie, pulling the material loose.

He stopped tugging at it, however, as he realised how flushed Orihime looked. “Woman?” he asked, his hand leaving the tie where it was as he instead took hold of Orihime’s shoulders, “Are you ill?”

Orihime smiled at the question, the concern in Ulquiorra’s voice evident. “No, Ulquiorra,” she breathed, her hands winding around his waist as she pushed herself up onto the balls of her feet, “I’m not sick.”

“Why do you appear as if you have a fever, then?”

She chose to ignore the question, choosing instead to press her lips to Ulquiorra’s. Although he kissed her back, Orihime could feel the way that Ulquiorra’s mouth had curled into an uncertain frown.

“Are you quite sure you’re not ill?” he asked, pulling back far enough for his narrowed eyes to rake over her flushed expression.

“Definitely not,” Orihime whispered, arching her neck so that her lips brushed teasingly light against Ulquiorra’s again.

Slowly, she can feel Ulquiorra decide to accept her answer. She can feel it in the way that it’s suddenly his mouth seeking out hers, and in the way that his hands shift from her shoulders to the small of her back, his fingers pressing against the flesh and urging her closer. She, in turn, twines her arms around his neck, her hand threading through the dark locks.

And then the angle shifts and what had been slow, savouring kisses, abruptly turns into something fuelled by passion and desire, and Orihime can’t help but groan with satisfaction, a noise that turns into a soft moan as Ulquiorra bites down on her lower lip before sucking it between his parted lips.

Clutching at his hair with one hand as their tongue’s tangled, Orihime trailed the other hand down from Ulquiorra’s neck to wrap around the tie, unable to care in that moment that she was creasing it horribly. Using the tie as leverage, Orihime pulled Ulquiorra tight against her, and he responded by taking hold of her backside and tugging so that their abdomens were pressed flush against one another. Orihime gasped and groaned as she felt the growing hardness press against her leg.

Without even thinking about it, she ground her hips against Ulquiorra’s in time to the pace that their tongue’s had set, and a low hiss forced it’s way up his throat.

Her heart racing, Orihime ran the hand that had been clutching at the now-ruined tie lower, her fingers popping open the buttons of Ulquiorra’s shirt as she went, and once the shirt was completely unbuttoned, Ulquiorra rolled his shoulders obligingly, allowing the material to fall to the floor. He didn’t even seem to care that his only dress-shirt was getting dirty, because not two seconds after the shirt had been removed, he was tugging Orihime’s up.

The very second the shirt had been pulled over her head, Ulquiorra was pressing fevered kisses along the side of her neck, her collarbone, her jawline, the curve where her shoulder met her neck, anywhere he could reach before trailing his lips lower until he came to the padding of her bra. Orihime’s breath hitched as he took the material in his teeth and pulled it aside before swirling his tongue around the now exposed nipple.

“U-Ulquiorra!” Orihime gasped, arching into the touch, and shuddering a little as he nosed the other cup away before kissing the inside of that breast, long and hard enough to leave a small bruise.

Whimpering slightly as he rolled one nipple with his thumb, Orihime brought her hand up to rest on Ulquiorra’s chest, and couldn’t stop herself from smiling as she felt the pounding heartbeat beneath her fingers. But then she let her hand brush down along the planes of his chest and skate over his stomach, until its descent was stopped by the belt he wore. A belt that she hastily unbuckled and threw to the floor.

The thump of the belt hitting the floor had barely even faded before Orihime’s hand came to rest atop the bulge in Ulquiorra’s trousers, and he groaned so softly at the touch that Orihime almost didn’t hear it. Her breath caught in her throat, however, as he pulled back, and Orihime saw that his eyes were looking at her with such fire that, not for the first time, Orihime wondered if it was possible to get burnt by a look.

It was driven from her mind though as Ulquiorra melded their mouths together in a fierce kiss that was full of tongues and teeth and fire, one that Orihime eagerly returned. But then she began to palm Ulquiorra’s hard cock through the trousers, and he pulled back from the kiss to press his forehead into her shoulder as she did so, his hands dropping from her waist to take hold of her arse and press her into him insistently, trapping her hand where it was.

Orihime decided she didn’t really mind that it was trapped where it was though, because, as she started to grind her hips against Ulquiorra’s again, she was able to hear his increasingly laboured pants, able to hear each hitch of his breath as he was brought closer to his edge.

Carried by a whim, Orihime stepped out of Ulquiorra’s grasp, and was given a frustrated and confused look as she did so. She simply grinned deviously up at him though, before she dropped down to her knees and unzipped, what she presumed to now be, confining pants.

His dick didn’t even need to be encouraged to free itself from the trousers. As soon as Orihime had unzipped them, the pants had fallen to Ulquiorra’s ankles and his erection bobbed before her. She didn’t even hesitate before swiping her tongue along the head, and a thud on the kitchen counter told her that Ulquiorra had been forced to brace himself on something.

Orihime allowed herself a brief smile at that before taking the head into her mouth and swirling her tongue around it. She then pulled back to lick along the shaft, only to drag her lips along the underside as she made her way back to the head.

Again, she allowed only the tip into her mouth, and Orihime took hold of Ulquiorra’s hips to stop his instinctual bucking. A glance up revealed the Ex-Espada had one hand clenched into a fist atop the kitchen counter, and his head was turned into that arm. Orihime could hear that he was panting though, and with her eyes still watching him, she slowly moved her mouth further down the engorged member.

She almost laughed as she saw the way he brought his hand up to his mouth, trying to smother any noises he might make. It was rather ironic when you considered how he encouraged hers. Orihime hummed as she continued her slow descent towards the base, and Ulquiorra hissed, “Orihime,” as she went. Orihime simply ran her nails over his hipbones in response.

She followed that up by tracing random patterns with her tongue as she pulled back, taking care to curl it around the head again before she repeated her previous actions.

Before long, Ulquiorra was panting heavily and Orihime had taken to massaging his balls to add to the sensations he was feeling. She’d only just started doing that when Ulquiorra said, “Woman,” in a warning tone that Orihime had come to recognise as his I’m close tone.

For just a moment, Orihime wondered if she could bring Ulquiorra over the edge with her mouth alone, and the thought sent a jolt of excitement through her. Ulquiorra’s hand’s had come to rest on either side of her neck though, and he was clearly trying to guide her back to her feet, leaving Orihime no choice but to release his prick with a small pop as she rose.

The very instant she was within reach again, Ulquiorra pressed their lips together and Orihime felt a thrill tingle down her spine at that – She was sure he could taste himself on her lips, but he didn’t seem to care as he kissed her at a leisurely pace.

One of his hands trailed down from her neck then, pausing to give her boob a quick squeeze, before his nails scraped down along her skin as he went lower. And as his fingertips brushed along her stomach, a warm fluttery feeling began to gather in the depths of Orihime’s stomach. A feeling that intensified tenfold as he shimmied her skirt down, and took her panties along with it.

Orihime couldn’t help but gasp at the feel of the air as it reached her now exposed womanhood. The gasp quickly turned into a heady moan though as Ulquiorra’s finger brushed along the slit teasingly.

His other hand reached down to curl around her thigh, bringing it up to his hip as his finger edged inside her. Slowly. Far too slowly. And then it was gone completely and Orihime sighed with disappointment.

But then Ulquiorra’s hands came to rest on her butt and he used that as leverage to pick her up, their mouths still connected as he carried her over to the couch. No sooner had he eased Orihime onto the couch, had he shifted her leg so that it was crooked over his shoulder as his hand returned to where it had been moments before. Orihime wasn’t able to hold back a string of curses, groans and moans as he alternated between rubbing her clit, and dipping a finger, and then two, inside of her.

Those fluttery feelings she’d felt earlier had caught fire now and it felt like there was a blaze inside of her, one that seemed intent on burning her from the inside out, and as she felt that fire getting strong enough that she thought it was going to explode, Ulquiorra removed his hand completely and Orihime actually whimpered, “No,” this time.

Ulquiorra actually chuckled against her lips at that, but Orihime couldn’t bring herself to care about something like him laughing at her, not when she was feeling another pressure at her entrance and her head had thrown itself back into the cushions with anticipation.

Still, Ulquiorra waited, and Orihime wasn’t able to stop herself from whispering, “Ulquiorra, please,” as she tugged on his hair, wrapping the leg that wasn’t braced on his shoulder around his waist, her heel coming to rest in the cleft of his arse and pushing, hoping to urge him forward and –

And then he did and Orihime gasped with surprise at the sudden feeling of being filled, and it was so good, she couldn’t understand why they didn’t just stay like this all the time, and Ulquiorra’s breath was ragged again, and Orihime knew that he wouldn’t be able to drag this out long, but she didn’t care because it was Ulquiorra and she could feel his heart racing against her skin and she just didn’t care about anything outside of that.

That was until he pulled out and thrust back inside though, and Orihime cried out with the pleasure of it. Something that was reduced to mewling Oh gods. Ulquiorra. Yes. Yes! Ulquiorr-ah! as he brought his hand around to stimulate her clit again, and that fire within her had quickly progressed to a raging inferno, and she felt as if she was about to implode, or explode, or something.

And then she did, and Orihime saw stars as she rode out her orgasm, dimly aware that Ulquiorra had groaned out “Orihime” mere seconds after she’d snapped, and the two simply lay there on the couch in the after glow, both panting and hearts racing.

Eventually - Orihime couldn’t tell how long it had been, she’d been happily weaving her fingers through Ulquiorra’s hair as he’d lay there listening to her heart retuning to it’s regular pace – Ulquiorra lifted his head and looked at her with a small amused grin on his face, his eyebrow arched.

“Woman, do you plan to greet me like that every day if I get that job?”

Orihime couldn’t help but laugh at the question, before humming thoughtfully. “Only if you wear the suit all the time” she admitted, blushing a little as she said it.

“Hmmm,” Ulquiorra responded, his eyes taking in the rumpled dress shirt and trousers with curiosity, making a mental note to ask her why at a later date.

For now, he was perfectly content to lie his head back down and listen to Orihime’s heart beating.

~X~

Okay, so even my PWP ends with Sap ... But, I'm a sap at heart, haha!

I really do hope you all liked that. There's more where that came from~

Comments are highly appreciated, of course <3

Unorganised fangirl thoughts: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Pt 2

2011-07-14T13:52:23Z

Okay. Okay. I'm making this really, REALLY quick because I have a plot-HORNET and it will not leave me the hell alone so... Let's make this quick.

I just came back from seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: pt 2
Overall thoughts: I'm fairly happy with it, in the end. Totally going to be seeing this one again.

Best moment? The fucking Malfoy's turning their back on Voldemort and walking the hell away from the fight. Complete with Narcissa's "Lol. I don't care. I have my family. Dienowplzkthnx" face. And Draco. God's Draco ;A; ... OH, and the Room of Requirement scene. My heart was in my fucking throat the entire way through. Yes, I made impassioned gestures at the screen and whispered an agonised "Draco!" everytime he came within my sight.

Biggest disappointment? Wait ... .... .. ... Waiiiiiiit.... OH! That they changed the beginning of the battle of Hogwarts SLIGHTLY. I really liked Harry coming to McGonnagal's defence in the Ravenclaw common room because the male-Carrow spat on her ... Completely erased. But, you've gotta understand they're working with time restraints here...

Random things: - Neville, when the HELL did you become such a BAMF? Seriously - Timid little Neville yelling at a HORDE of snatchers "Yeah. Yeah! That's what I thought! You and what army?" when they can't cross the Hogwarts barriers? DAMN boy! Bamf alert! Also -- The movie made NevilleLuna canon more or less - Or, at least have Neville saying he'd had the hots for her and there was no better time to confess than when you're being chased down by Death Eaters in a battle for your lives.
- THANKFULLY, the director seemed to decide it was best to keep things neutral with shipping wars - By which I mean, the only Harry-Ginny scenes were shortlived and something I could just shrug off to "Well, I suppose he at least likes her right now...", so that fuck for that.
- The HermioneRon kiss did not disappoint - It was one of my "Fuck yes!" moments.
- There were alot of one-liners that made me laugh. For instance, McGonnagal saying to Molly "I've always wanted to use that spell" <-- about the one that brings all the statues to life in Hogwarts.
- Speaking of Minerva. Holy Fucking Shit! McGonnagal is Bad ASS. I can't even remember if she and Snape faced off in the book but holy hell that was an epic fight.
- And Snape! All my fucking creys!

I, surprisingly, did not cry, but I did get really choked up at times. And ... It never really occured to me exactly how ambiguous the Epilogue is until I actually thought about it. Oh sure, they have kids ... But there's nothing to say they're still TOGETHER ... It was just strange seeing the characters 'aged up' versions though. I mean ... Who in their right mind decided that Draco Malfoy would ever condescend to grow a beard? Srsly guys. No.

All in all, I really enjoyed it. My heart was actually racing at times *Cough Room of Requirement Cough*, I was constantly making "Fuck yeah" gestures ... ... And it made me realise, even if Harry Potter HAS come to a franchise end .... It will never really BE the end, because I'll always be a fan of it. I can't see myself getting over the series, and I know that ... When I start to miss them, I can easily pick the books up again and re-live my adventures.

I need to squee...

2011-07-13T12:41:13Z

The blatantly UlquiHime colour-spread.

THE BLATANTLY ULQUIHIME COLOUR-SPREAD!

Excuse me while I sit here and go "ASDFGHKPOIHENIE;AOIHGERFG;NIBPAOHGVISUENYGTEBRT8GYSEOINHBRSAELYIOTBAEWPRIUSBGTVERSAIUBGAOYEUHBGTLISYEAHVBG;IUA8ESBVW GILUKIASBETF- HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH!!!!" in joy.

What UlquiHime spread you ask? Oh, I don't know maybe:
http://i52.tinypic.com/14kxh15.jpg <-- THAT one?

Follow Ulquiorra's eyesight ... He's STARING at Orihime. Not that that's anything unusual - He was always staring at her. But this is ... This is more than a year after the Lust arc, and Kubo still decides to put Ulquiorra and Orihime together. He still decides to have Ulquiorra look at Orihime like the only reason he's even at the silly party is because she asked him to be there. Still looking at her like she's the only thing in the entire place that matters.

And then there's seeing Ulquiorra at all - Gods I miss that batspada. And now, this is the second time I've seen him in such a short time - First with unmasked, and now this! ... He HAS to come back into the manga, okay? I don't even care why or how anymore, I just know that he HAS to return.

Throw in to all that Grimmjow's presence, Hiyori, Soi-Fon's adorable expression, Gin staring at Rangiku, Cute!Rukia, LULzy-Ikkaku and just ... ... LOVE. The only thing that's missing from all this awesome is Neliel, but Kubo's only human so I'll forgive him that ...

Because ULQUIHIME COLOUR-SPREAD!!!
I will never stop loving this pairing - NEVER!

^^ The most GPOY gif there ever was.

Even the song I'm listening to is accurate for the way I'm feeling right now.

21x Tom Felton icons

2011-07-02T16:52:10Z

Because I wanted Tom Felton icons and couldn't find any I liked ... I took it upon myself to make some...

1	2	3	4	5

6	7	8	9	10

11	12	13	14	15

16	17	18	19	20

		21

Now, I am a complete novice when it comes to making Icons - the only skills I have in my repertoire are Cropping and resizing, and I'm sure that shows since there aren't any special effects in these ... Regardless, Tom needed more icon-love ~~and I needed icons to use~~ ... So here we have it. Kitty also encouraged me to post them XD
All of these pics came from various pictures on Tumblr, and I don't know where they came from outside of that. Credit is appreciated, but not really necessary since ... Well, I'm not an icon maker by any means and neither do I plan to be one.
Enjoy the Tom Icons guys <33

A question for you, and a 20 Questions Meme for me

2011-07-02T12:37:43Z

So ... ... Hai LJ! I am still alive, I've just been swallowed by that black hole that is Tumblr (And I regret nothing)
I saw this meme and liked the look of it though, it asks interesting questions. But first ... One of my own...
As a few of you would know (Especially those on my Tumblr), I've got this MAJOR thing for Tom Felton right now. As such ... I ended up getting sick of there being NO decent Felton icons and just made my own (crops) from pictures I found on Tumblr. I ended up making about 20, but I'm not sure if I should actually post them on here or not, what do you guys reckon?? Do you want to see the Felton icons??

Anyway, here's a meme I stole from dreamsofpaprika

1. What do you see when you look out the window?
A car I don't know why my landlord is keeping seeing as it's covered with a tarp... overgrown bushes, and the beginnings of our driveway.

2. What is your favourite song from childhood?
Uhm ... UHM ... The Sailor Moon Dub-Theme song ... Among several others.

3. Which is your favourite fairy tale?
I like them all ... Well, if w'e're gonna go for the original fairytale, I suppose I'd say Beauty and the Beast ~~Only because in the original Little Mermaid, the Prince doesn't return the Mermaid's love and she kills herself ...~~

4. Do you follow sports? If so, which team/sport?
No - I just don't get the appeal. Oh wait, does Quidditch count? Cause, I know I'd be into that if it were real.

5. Do you consider yourself/do others consider you a geek?
A "geek" implies a gamer, so, yes, but no ... ... I'm more of a Nerd than a geek

6. Which character from your fandom would you throw out the door?
... Dolores Umbridge, from Harry Potter. She should go die in a fire ... I really, really, really hate that woman...

7. Which character(s) from your fandom is your personality closest to?
Oh, difficult ... It's a mixture of Tohru (Fruits Basket), Sakura (Card Captor Sakura), and, in some ways, Orihime (Bleach). I reckon I could be a bit like Luna too though, in the sense that I'm quirky.

8. Which character from your fandom is the utmost boring type?
Hinata from Naruto. She just didn't interest me at all. Also, Ginny. She had the potential to be bad ass... Until J.K Rowling turned her into a Mary Sue.

9. Do you mod or co-mod any communities?
Nah-uh

10. Do you consider memes an insult to your intelligence?
Not really ... No

11. What time did you eat your last meal?
Uh ... I don't know what time it was. Around 2.30? Actually, I'm kinda hungry now.

12. What do your prefer in a person: depth of emotion or depth of reason?
I'd rather someone emotional, actually.

13. When you put out trash do you put it in a small bin or a big skip?
Idk - The bins that are provided to us

14. Where do you consider yourself at home? Why?
Among books ... Because they hold so many different worlds for me to explore, different characters to get to know ... Emotions to feel, scenario's to experience ...

15. Are you easy to get to know or are you an acquired taste?
Acquired taste, without a doubt.

16. Which word do you like more- ingenious or popular? Why?
Ingenious - because ingenious ideas are more interesting than the popular ones. Also, Change is more likely to come about through ingenius ideas than the popular ones.

17. Do you have a bath, shower or both?
Both.

18. What is your favourite piece of technology?
My iPod, for sure

19. When is the last time you split your side laughing, and what was it about?
Uh ... OH! Four days ago, When I got my Tom Felton signature and I saw that he wrote "Scared Potter?" on it - My shipper heart was exploding in ways I hadn't realised it could because Tom might as well have just said "Hey, Phoenix, I ship Drarry!" by writing that ... Even if I know thinking that is illogical.

20. If you could have one item from your fandom, what would it be? Why?
Oh, don't make me choose! ...
Harry Potter: Draco's "Malfoy" ring... Or Harry's invisibility cloak ... Slytherin robes...
Bleach: Murcielalgo ... I like that sword, or Orihime's Shun Shun Rikka
Tangled: Flynn's Satchel / Belt
Avatar: The Last Airbender: Katara's fire-Nation armbands / Hair band
Furuba: A Jyuunishi set
CardCaptor Sakura: Sakura's (Tomoyo designed) wardrobe
Sailor Moon: The Disguise pen
Tom Felton: His goddamn guitar

Don't look at me like that, Tom Felton ... ... Appreciation is a fandom.

Top 25 Songs Meme

2011-06-19T13:12:40Z

First of all - New layout! Yaaaaaay~ I felt it was time for a change. I really wanted a Tom Felton one but ... Do you think I could find any? No. Of course not. And all the Draco Malfoy ones I saw were just ... No. They looked so bad - and not in the good way.

Anyway ... I'm doing this one again now that it's been about two weeks since I reset the play-count.
This time I'll link you to the songs though so you can enjoy the awesomeness <33

Song 25
What is it?: My Eyes (On The Rise) - Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog (Here)
A fact about this song: It's sung by Neil Patrick Harris - Who, most of you might know, as Barney in How I Met Your Mother
What's your favourite lyric from this song?: Because the Dark is everywhere, and Penny doesn't seem to care that soon the dark in me is all that will remain.
When was the first time you heard this song?: Er ... Not long ago. Within the last couple of months cause I found it while searching for Zutara Shippy music.

Song 24
What is it?: Down With The Sickness - Disturbed (Here)
Why do you like it?: Because it is EPIC. There is no other word for it - It is E-P-I-C
Is this a famous song, or unknown?: I daresay it's one of Disturbed's better known songs.
What instruments are in this song?: Presumably Bass Guitar, Drums, Electric Guitar... Maybe a Synthesiser?

Song 23
What is it?: Accident Waiting - Calling All Cars (This ones on Tumblr, because I couldn't find a Youtube vid for it ... Anyway, Here)
Name someone else (if there is anyone) that you know likes this song: Haven't got a clue. Maybe this chick at my work?
How long have you known this song?: Ahhhhm ... About a year now, maybe?
Can you, or would you like to be able to, play this song?: I don't know ... It's not a song that I go "OMG! Wish I could play this!" to, so ... probably not.

Song 22
What is it?: Changing Your Mind - Bob Schneider (Here)
Does this song remind you of anything? Drarry ...
Favourite line?: It reminds me of the feeling when I first looked into your eyes, saw the most beautiful birds fly straight into the sun with their wings on fire, and the deed was Done. And I can't change your mind...

Song 21
What is it?: Set Fire To The Third Bar - Snow Patrol (Here)
Does this song get stuck in your head a lot?: Yes. It's one of the more recent songs I've got my hands on ... And there's something about it that insists on locking itself in my head.
How did you get introduced to this band/artist?: Well, Snow Patrol's been on the radio for ages so... Let's go with that.
Have you ever seen this band/artist live?: Nope.

Song 20
What is it?: Undisclosed Desires - Muse (Here)
Why do you like it? For the lyrics... And the interesting sound effects in it too.
Does it have a video? Yeah, it does. It's actually not too bad a Video either
Do you find the artist/one of the band members attractive?: Ah... I don't know. I'm not too sure what the guys of Muse look like tbh.

Song 19
What is it?: White Blank Page - Mumford and Sons (Here)
What is it about?: Um ... I don't know. It sounds like a song from the perspective of the "other" woman, tbh. The kind where you know the "Other" is in fact right for the character ... But they can't bring themselves to leave their actual-lover for one reason or another. Let's say, for argument's sake, it's about someone in an inadequate relationship, and they find love elsewhere, and the song is about the "Other" love getting frustrated with their inability to make a choice, but equally unable to break free because they love the one that's doing the cheating - Did that make sense??
Have you ever danced to this song?: Nope. It's so very not a dance song.

Song 18
What is it?: Monster - Meg & Dia (Here)
What's your favourite line?: His little whispers; Love me, love me. That's all I ask for - Love me, love me. / Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams
Why?: Uh ... I love the desperation in the first line - That want to be loved, no matter what. As for the second ... The image it creates. The angst it implies ...
Would you like to see this band/artist live?: Dunno. This is their only song I've heard.

Song 17
What is it?: Take It Off - Ke$ha (Here)
Do you like to sing along to it?: I do actually.
Do you own the album that this song is from?: Yep.
Is this your favourite song on the album?: One of them

Song 16
What is it?: Not An Angel - City Sleeps (Here)
How old were you when you started liking this song?: 21
Is it a new song or an old song?: Relatively new?
Has this song ever been on a film/TV program/advert?: I don't think so.

Song 15
What is it?: Breath - Breaking Benjamin (Here)
Which of the band members is your favourite?: LOL I don't know .... The guitarist?
What did you think of it the first time you heard it?: "Why on EARTH didn't my friend give me this song with the other Breaking Benjamin songs?! It's amazing!
Do you still think that now?: Not really. Now I'm too busy trying to dissect the images of the song, trying to figure out what the lyrics are.

Song 14
What is it?: Falling Hard - The Crystal Method (Here)
Who wrote this song?: Idk - The singer?
What does it remind you of?: Almost every ship in existence? The fear that comes with realising you like/love someone, of not knowing whether they reciprocate your feelings, and trying to cope with all those uncertainties when you see that special someone.
Do any of your friends like this song?: I'm not sure. I reckon Issues would like it though

Song 13
What is it?: Your Call - Secondhand Serenade (Here)
On a scale of 1-10, how much do you love this song?: 9
Do you know all the words?: Most of them ... I'm fairly sure I know them all now
What's your favourite lyric?: Waiting for your call, I'm sick. Call, I'm angry. Call, I'm desperate for your voice / Cause I was born to tell you I love you. And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine - Stay with me tonight. / Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh, I am feeling so ambitious - You and me, flesh to flesh. Cause every breath that you will take when you are sitting next to me will bring life into my deepest hopes - What's your fantasy? / And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home.
... I like alot of the lyrics in that song...

Song 12
What is it?: My Obsession - Cinema Bizarre (Here)
Why do you like this song?: Mmm ...The imagery, I think. That implication of an all-consuming love the song. Also, the tone of the song, it's very soft and ... I'm not sure how to explain
How does this song make you feel?: I'm not sure I can explain it ... It makes me hopeful, it sends shivers down my spine, it makes me anxious ...
Why?: Again, the imagery ... That concept of love you can't fight, and what it does to you - It can tear you up, but you wouldn't want to break free. Like ... All the pain, those nights spent tossing and turning ... They're all worth it in the end. Also, there's this haunting little piano ... riff? that the song has.... Yeah, I can't put it into words...

Song 11
What is it?: Too Much - All Time Low (Here)
How long have you liked this song?: Oh, only a couple of weeks now.
Have you seen the band/artist live?: Nope, I'd like to tough. If I actually go to this music festival I could...
If yes, were they good?: No clue

Song 10
What is it?: When Doves Cry - The Rise of Science (Here)
What's your favourite line?: Maybe I'm just too demanding. Maybe I'm just like my father - too bold. Maybe I'm just like my mother - She's never satisfied. Why do we scream at each other? <-- About this ... The only reason it's my favourite line is because it reminds me of a certain someone *cough*Draco*cough*
What is the song about?: I've never understood, really. Now, I think it's about that couple who loves each other earnestly, but they seem so wrong for another ... But they couldn't possibly be with another, because no matter how wrong they "Seem", they're so undeniably right for each other.
Can you relate to this song?: Nope.

Song 9
What is it?: My Sweet Prince - Placebo (Here)
Does it have a video? What's it about?: It does ... But I honestly have no idea what it's meant to be about.
Do you think the title fits in with what the song is about?: Of course
What colour best fits this song?: Grey. Flashes of colours, like green and soft blues. Dark purples.

Song 8
What is it?: The Promise and the Threat - Evans Blue (Here)
Who wrote it?: I would assume someone in Evan's Blue
How long is it?: 4:33
Does this song mean a lot to you?: Well, it doesn't make me think of any personal moments in life ... It's just in alot of my Ship-playlists, haha. I do like what the lyrics imply to me though - So, maybe it means alot in the sense that it represents my hopes about future love? Idk.

Song 7
What is it?: Parachute - Ingrid Michaelson (Here)
How does this song make you feel?: Happy. Hopeful. Wanting - Because I want the kind of love this song is about. It makes me feel floaty, because it's a cute song.
Do your friends also like this song?: LOL. They don't know it ... ... Yet.
Have you ever sung it really loud in public?: Not yet. I'm sure the day is coming though.

Song 6
What is it?: What If - Bombay Bicycle Club (This is another linked to Tumblr because I can't find anything on Youtube that isn't horrible quality ... Here)
What's the rudest word in this song?: There aren't any rude words in this one
Do you have any merchandise of this band/artist?: Nope.
If yes, what?: --- --- ---

Song 5
What is it?: Matches to Paper Dolls - Dessa (Here)
Does it really deserve to be your 5th most played song?: Oh yes, it definitely does. I adore this song.
Who does it remind you of?: No one specifically - it makes me think of UlquiHime, Zutara and Drarry though.
What is it about?: I think ... it's about a Couple that, even though they know they shouldn't be doing this ... They just can't help themselves. So, I suppose it's about an attraction you can't fight, one that, despite your better judgement, you know you're going to give into, because it's just that undeniable ... Even if the consequences might be dire. ... So, I guess, it's a "So wrong - but so right" song?

Song 4
What is it?: Dance With The Devil - Breaking Benjamin (Here)
If someone insulted this song/band, would you stand up for it?: Probably not. I'd just write them off as idiots who can't appreciate good music ... Though that depends entirely on what they were saying, wouldn't it?
Do you like the title of this song?: I do. I like the imagery it evokes.
Has it ever been on a film/TV program/advert?: Not that I know of...

Song 3
What is it?: Stay Away - Secondhand Serenade ft. Choir (Here)
How much did you pay for this song? Hmm. I dunno ... The album probably cost me around 20-25?
Was it worth it?: Oh yes. For sure. I've found so many good songs because I got that album.
Favourite line?: Something isn't right - Losing faith in everything I know ... What do I know? You told me I should fight - not be self destructive thinking I should go / Stay away from me - I need you too badly, and it's tearing me apart. / I don't have the right to ask for your forgiveness on the phone, and I am alone. /

Song 2
What is it?: A Winters Day Monologue - Saturday Night At The Apollo (Here)
Why do you like it?: The lyrics and the imagery. Especially the line - But everybody thinks I'm cruel and that I'm here just for myself, because "How could he really love her? Isn't it just for kicks?" and that's why we we've lasted so long, even though we are like this.
If you had a quote from this song in your screen name, what would it be?: The writing's on the walls, but my notebook's on the shelf.
Is it by your favourite band/artist?: No ... But I do rather like them. I don't think they've even been signed though.

Song 1
What is it?: Drumming Song - Florence And The Machine (Here)
Why is it your most played song?: Well, essentially, because it's in all my Shippy-playlists, as well as my "awesome music" playlist. I adore this song.
What's the strangest place you've ever listened to this song?: Uhm ... Haven't a clue.
What album is it from?: Lungs
Is this your favourite song of all time?: Nope. It is high on the "songs I really like" list though.
Has it always been your most played song, or does it keep changing?: Well, it'll probably change - After all, the last three songs have the same playcount.
What is it about?: I think it's about the way someone's heartbeat begins to pound in their head when the one they like is nearby. That, even if you try to hide or deny your feelings ... There's no way to fight the way your heart pounds when they're close.
What's your favourite line from this song?: As I move my feet towards your body, I can hear this beat. It fills my head up and gets louder and louder. / Louder than sirens, louder than bells. Sweeter than heaven and hotter than hell. / There's a drumming noise inside my head, that starts when you're around. I swear that you could hear it, it makes an almighty sound.

Conclusions:

My music tastes are changing ... Only slightly. But still enough for me to go "Oh"
I still listen to my ship-playlists alot.
... Most of my music I actually relate to couples, couplings, being in love ... ... ... Hmm.

Btw guys ... Am I the only one having trouble with LJ lately? Like ... Not loading the page it's meant to, and coming up with random URLs instead? It's been happening for the past couple days now and I'm just wondering if others are having the same issue? For instance, I try to go to my friends page, and instead of the url reading "livejournal.com/friends" it comes up with "livejournal.com/7" or something equally random

UlquiHime Drabble: Barely Repressed Fascination

2011-06-11T14:02:38Z

Title: Barely Repressed Fascination
Word Count: 1110
Notes: This was inspired by Ulquiorra's comic in UNMASKED. This image came to mind while reading it, so, naturally, I had to write it.

~X~

Orihime’s mouth was pulled into a frown as she stacked the dishes on the tray, trying not to make too much noise lest her company scold her.

She just wasn’t sure what to make of her time here. She felt trapped, though Aizen had made a point to assure her that she would be free – free to roam her dull, white, room it seemed. She felt terrified, though she’d been assured she would be safe and that no harm would come to her – Being in Aizen’s presence was harm enough, Orihime decided, barely repressing a shudder at the simple memory of the aura that permeated from that man. She was glad she’d never run into him while in Soul Society.

And then there was the way she was feeling about the one who’d captured her. Ulquiorra … She just didn’t know what to think about him. She felt, strangely, safe around him, even though it was he who had isolated her to her room, even though it was he who was forcing her to eat the bland food they brought to her.

But at least he spoke to her, the other Espada, on the rare chance she saw them, simply looked at her as though something nasty had crawled into their midst, some looked at her with curious, but mostly disinterested looks, and there was that one creepy guy – or, she thought it was a guy – who had positively leered at her in such a way that Orihime had instinctively begun walking a little closer to Ulquiorra under his perusal, chills running down her spine.

Orihime turned to look over her shoulder, intending to ask Ulquiorra who that person was, if only so she could be aware of him the in the future, when she was brought to an abrupt halt at the sight that met her.

In the few meals they’d shared, Ulquiorra had seemed extremely guarded, only answering her questions with basic responses that answered her query, while not giving away any extra information, and so, the sight of him completely unguarded and … Asleep on her couch confused and intrigued Orihime to no end.

It was a sight that completely banished the thoughts and concerns she had about the spoon-hooded Espada, and instead she found herself creeping closer to her sleeping captor, curiosity getting the better of her.

Orihime looked down at the sleeping Ulquiorra with held breath – she was almost certain he’d ask her what she was doing in that carefully controlled tone he always used, unable to fight the irrational thought that he could see what was going on around him, even if his eyes were closed.

After a few moments of her simply staring at him, however, Ulquiorra remained as motionless as before and Orihime relaxed enough to allow her eyes to take in his expression.

She found her eyes invariably drawn to the curve of his mouth, lips parted the smallest amount in his sleep, and Orihime couldn’t help the smile that came with the realisation – Perhaps he was more humane than she’d initially thought. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but there was something about that unavoidable easing of pressure that came with sleep that struck Orihime as really humane, and she made a conscious decision in that moment to try and treat Ulquiorra less as a being different to herself and to simply treat him like she would any other. And she would start by adding the ‘kun’ suffix to the end of his name. Yes, that was what she would do.

Right at that moment though, Orihime had other curiosities that she could lay to rest. She’d been watching Ulquiorra for a good couple of minutes by that point, and he hadn’t stirred in the slightest…

Unable to help herself, Orihime shifted the tray in her hands so it was balanced on one, and, with tentative, almost anxious, movements, she stretched out a hand until it came to rest above the lock of hair that was perpetually hanging over Ulquiorra’s nose. Her fingers twitched, and then, she carefully brushed it to one side, silently marvelling at the fact that it was soft. Did that mean Ulquiorra was able to wash his hair despite the helmet that half-covered his hair?

Orihime frowned a little as she withdrew her hand, one question answered, and several more raised.

And then Ulquiorra’s eyes snapped open and he visibly started for a moment until his gaze came to rest on her, the hand that had been outstretched still hovering in the air between them.

Oh no, she thought, floundering for an excuse to explain the hand – “Wah! You scared me! I - … I was going to wake you!” That would have to do, Orihime wasn’t sure if her captor – that is, her companion – believed her though, because his emerald eyes narrowed the smallest amount at her words. And that was when Orihime decided it was time to try and put her decision into play.

“But I was relieved, to know that Ulquiorra-kun could actually sleep!” that was true, at least.

As Orihime attempted to calm her pounding heart, she turned to put the tray of dishes on the table brought in each meal time, trying not to let Ulquiorra know that she was breathing a sigh of relief that he hadn’t asked her about the hand, or question her want to ‘wake him’.

But then, his voice distracted her completely, “It’s Ulquiorra.” He told her, his tone rougher and slightly … colder than any other time he’d spoken to her. So much so that Orihime actually turned to look at him curiously.

What she saw, for some reason, made her heart clench painfully. Even though he was still speaking to her, stressing about how she should call him Ulquiorra instead of trying to humanise him by adding the ‘kun’, Ulquiorra had turned his back to her, something he hadn’t done before and Orihime couldn’t help but feel as if, in that moment, he’d completely cut her off, and the thought hurt her in ways she hadn’t imagined. At the same time … it piqued her curiosity – what had forced him to close himself off to her so completely? Surely it wasn’t the addition of ‘kun’ to his name – the feeling in the atmosphere was more than that. Had he dreamt of something that was affecting him? Or had she dredged up some memories he’d rather forget?

Orihime softly sighed as she considered the enigma that was her captor, companion, and sole familiar face in this world to which she’d isolated herself to.

For some inexplicable reason, tears had begun to burn behind her closed eyelids.

~X~

Alright, so it's a little angsty ... And, really, I'm kinda fuzzy on whereabouts in Canon this comic was set. I think it's before the slap, but presumably after the "Surprisingly, It suits you -> Strong Woman" scene ... ?

Well, regardless, I hope you guys liked this. They're just my thoughts on what might have been going on with that Truckload of Epic we got that made UlquiHime more canon than it already was (I'm still buzzing, can you tell?)

UlquiHime Drabble - Confessions.

2011-06-11T04:33:41Z

Oh hai there LJ! I kinda forgot I had you .... Not really, I've just been distracted.
But I'm here now to post this;

Title: Confessions
Word Count: 824
Rating: G - It's so fluffy it might only be rivalled by Fluffy Cotton Candy clouds!
Notes: Inspired by a Sketch by Rusky-Boz. Also posted on Tumblr.

~X~
As their eyes locked, something was different. Orihime could feel it in the sudden change in the atmosphere, some small and undefined change that had her heart suddenly racing. Something that was so thick in the air, she was having trouble breathing around it.

Ulquiorra made a point to ignore her sudden tenseness though, something she was certain he could see, considering how observant he always was. Miraculously returning from “death” had not diminished that skill of his in the slightest, if anything, he’d been even more vocal about his observations than before.

And so, Orihime was almost surprised when Ulquiorra didn’t comment on the flush in her cheeks, nor on the way she held herself as he rose from the couch - Had he been waiting for her? The thought just made Orihime’s nerves increase tenfold - and crossed the room towards her, his movements deliberately slow as if afraid she was going to run.

Orihime couldn’t place it exactly, but something had her on edge. Maybe it was the tense air that filled the room, or it might have been the solemn look on Ulquiorra’s face as he stood before her. Though she wasn’t sure ‘solemn’ was the best word for his expression, since the only visible change was that his lips were pressing together more than usual. But there was an edge to his eyes that made her think that his expression was exactly that, and she was having trouble swallowing the fear as he took hold of her hand and drew it up to his cheek.

It was taking all of Orihime’s self-control to not pull it back and demand to know if he was returning to Huenco Mundo, if he was leaving her, if he’d met someone else … Orihime’s mind was racing with all sorts of reason’s why Ulquiorra should look so uncharacteristically grave.
But then his eyes slid shut, cutting off that slight insight to his thoughts, and the Ex-Espada dragged his lips along her palm, and Orihime’s breath caught in her throat, the whirling thoughts coming to a halting screech at the intimate gesture.

And then her mind came to a complete stand-still when the words left those lips, the flesh still so close to her palm she could feel each movement that came with forming the words.

“I love you.”

It was a mere whisper, a breath, something she might have thought had come from the television had she not felt Ulquiorra’s mouth utter those words. And his expression - Orihime felt her eyes prick with tears as she took in the confused, and almost afraid look he wore. Ulquiorra was never afraid, and yet, here he was, whispering words that she’d never thought would fall from his lips, and he was afraid.
Of what though? That was what Orihime couldn’t understand. She’d never known Ulquiorra to be afraid - not even when Ichigo had lost himself to the hollow within.

And then she realised with such clarity that, if she’d had any breath left to take away, it would have done. He was afraid she’d reject him - had she not worn the same anxious expression when she’d finally worked up the nerve to tell Ichigo of her long-standing crush? Orihime almost laughed at the realisation before she realised that Ulquiorra would take that the wrong way.

He was still just standing there, his fingertips just barely resting over hers as he held her hand to his face, his eyes closed as though prolonging the moment for as long as possible.

Steeling her nerve, Orihime tentatively brought her other hand up to take hold of Ulquiorra’s other cheek, her mind assuring her that she had nothing to be afraid of - not this time.

“Ulquiorra,” she breathed, because it seemed inappropriate to use a voice any higher than that of a whisper. Slowly, his eyes flickered open to reveal those haunting green eyes and Orihime realised that words simply couldn’t convey that which she wanted to say.

And so, she did that which would. She pushed up onto her tip-toes and pressed her lips against Ulquiorra’s, willing her feelings into the kiss, wanting Ulquiorra to understand, even if it was illogical to think that she could transfer her thoughts through the pressure’s of their mouths.

“Silly Espada,” she sighed as she pulled back the slightest amount, the sides of their noses still brushing from the close proximity. “I’ve loved you since those days in Las Noches.”

And before Ulquiorra could retort - Orihime was sure with some remark about the unlikeness of developing emotions then considering the circumstances they’d been in - Orihime kissed him, with more insistance than before. And after a moment, a mere moment, she felt Ulquiorra’s mouth curl into a vague smile before a hand came to wrap around her waist and pull her tighter against him.

She chose to ignore the mutter of “Foolish Woman” he managed between kisses.

~X~

It has been too long since I wrote for UH...
But I'm still spazzing over the gift that was UnMasked so, there is at least another something I'll be posting before long.

Top 25 Songs Music Meme, and random Lyrics!

2011-05-29T13:57:18Z

LJ seems a little dead tonight, so I figure I'll keep myself amused with a Meme. Besides which ... I love Music Meme's

I couldn't find the "rules" to this one, but I presume it refers to your "Top 25 played songs" in iTunes.

Just so you guys are aware ... I'm asked what my favourite lyrics are in this meme alot ... Which is inanely difficult for me, so I use a " / " to show a separate section of the song. I know sometimes it's used to show a new line/stanza in lyrics ... This time around ... It just means the lyrics come from a different part of the song than the lyrics preceding it - Did that make sense??

Song 25
What is it?: Always - Saliva
A fact about this song: I found it through the Ultimate UlquiHime Playlist ... It's one of my favourite songs in that list
What's your favourite lyric from this song?: Am I your one and only desire? Am I the reason you breathe - Or am I the reason you cry? / I love you - I hate you. I can't get around you. I breathe you, I taste you - I just can't live without you.
When was the first time you heard this song?: I don't know. Around September 2009 (Holy shite), Cause I think that's when I got into UH.

Song 24
What is it?: Sleeping With Ghosts - Placebo
Why do you like it?: Uhm. I'm not really sure. It's a melancholic song, and I really like Placebo. Also, it's in my personal UH playlist.
Is this a famous song, or unknown?: I'm not sure. It's by a well known band - Or they should be well known - but I don't know if it's a well known song... I'm fairly sure it's old though.
What instruments are in this song?: Guitar, Keyboard, Bass, Synthesizer? I don't know - I was never good at being able to tell what instruments are in a song.

Song 23
What is it?: Hero / Heroine - Boys Like Girls
Name someone else (if there is anyone) that you know likes this song: Nooooo idea. Someone in the UH Fandom presumably since, again, that's where I found the song.
How long have you known this song?: Uh ... a Year and three months?
Can you, or would you like to be able to, play this song?: I don't know with this one, It's a really nice song and I adore it ... But, instrument wise, it's a little bland. I love it for the lyrics. I Karaoke'd it once ... ... It was almost boring to sing along to but I persevered because of the adorable lyrics.

Song 22
What is it?: Love Song Reqiuem - Trading Yesterday
Does this song remind you of anything? UlquiHime, and also KazeWako. General tragic ships, and unrequited love.
Favourite line?: She belongs to Fairytales that I could never be / And Hope is just a stranger wondering how it got so bad / I die each time you look away. My heart, my life, will never be the same. This love will take my everything. One breath - One Touch will be the end of me.

Song 21
What is it?: So Contagiously - Acceptance
Does this song get stuck in your head a lot?: It did when I first got it.
How did you get introduced to this band/artist?: A Zutara AMV. It's still one of my favourites.
Have you ever seen this band/artist live?: I don't think they're even together anymore, or they're under a new name or ... something.

Song 20
What is it?: Anywhere - Evanescence
Why do you like it? Because it's a hauntingly beautiful song about letting go of everything and running away together.
Does it have a video? No, I don't think so.
Do you find the artist/one of the band members attractive?: Yes. I think Amy Lee is one of the prettiest women alive - and that's coming from someone not into chicks! Also ... That guy in the Bring Me To Life video is fairly attractive too. I don't think he's a member of the band anymore though.

Song 19
What is it?: Haunted - Disturbed
What is it about?: See, the problem with this question is that songs can be interpreted in so many ways. Haunted ... What I believe Haunted is about is being unable to totally break free from someone - You're haunted by their world, which I take to mean their presence. I think it refers to a broken/abusive relationship - that one that you know you shouldn't be involved in, but you can't help return to. Which, again, plays into the concept of someone you just can't escape, someone who haunts you, no matter how many times you try to break free. It's inevitable that you'd return to them.
Have you ever danced to this song?: It's not exactly a Dancing song. You can't even mosh to this song.

Song 18
What is it?: A Day Late - Anberlin
What's your favourite line?: So, let me get this straight - Say now you loved me all along. What made you hesitate to tell me with words what you really feel? I can see it in your eyes that you mean all of what you say. I remember so long ago, see, I felt the same way.
Why?: Because ... It's everyone's greatest - potential - regret, isn't it? Liking someone, but not being able to tell them because you're afraid it isn't reciprocated, only to find out years later that they did, in fact, feel the same way. It's a line that I think everyone can relate to, and that's why I love it.
Would you like to see this band/artist live?: I would actually - I'm quite fond of a lot of their music. I don't think they tour out this way though.

Song 17
What is it?: Pieces - Red
Do you like to sing along to it?: Uhm ... I suppose, not really. I like the song, but it's so slow.
Do you own the album that this song is from?: No.
Is this your favourite song on the album?: Haha! No. There are much better songs than this on the Album, though this is one that I, obviously, like too ... I prefer Mystery of You, or Let Go.

Song 16
What is it?: I Caught Myself - Paramore
How old were you when you started liking this song?: Fffffff .... Between 18-20? I can't remember when the first Twilight was released.
Is it a new song or an old song?: Relatively new?
Has this song ever been on a film/TV program/advert?: Yeah, it was in Twilight ... When the girls were trying on prom dresses in La Push. I will say this for the first movie - At least it had good music, which is more than I can say about the more recent ones.

Song 15
What is it?: The Delicious Tomato Song - Namikawa Daisuke XDD
Which of the band members is your favourite?: Namikawa-san, duh. Nevermind that he's the only one in the song.
What did you think of it the first time you heard it?: OMG, LOLOLOLOL This is the voice of Ulquiorra?! LOLOLOL
Do you still think that now?: Pretty much. Because I hear it, and I think of Ulquiorra throwing Tomatoes around Las Noches.

Song 14
What is it?: Endlessly - Muse
Who wrote this song?: Idk - The lead singer of Muse?
What does it remind you of?: ... ... ... Ulquihime TT^TT ~~You guys must be getting so bored of seeing these answers~~
Do any of your friends like this song?: Uh. I don't know ... Brett might ... Brycie might. I think Rusky does...

Song 13
What is it?: Breathe Underwater - Placebo
On a scale of 1-10, how much do you love this song?: Oh. Tough one. 8-8.5
Do you know all the words?: I do.
What's your favourite lyric?: Here comes another fall from grace - I'm always falling on my face / It's hard to reconcile what I've become, with the wounded Child hiding deep inside. / My weakness is laid bare, as people stop and stare - But it's the last time I swear.

Song 12
What is it?: Lost - Red
Why do you like this song?: Oh, I don't know ... The images it evokes, maybe? The concept of being lost in someone ... Being so enraptured in them you could lose yourself in them, it's kind of a romantic image, I guess?
How does this song make you feel?: Despite the above, it makes me feel melancholy.
Why?: Because the images of the song are that of someone searching desperately for someone, but they keep slipping through their fingers.

Song 11
What is it?: Lust for Blood - Gackt
How long have you liked this song?: Ever since I heard it on the Ultimate UH playlist. I fell in love with it, and his voice. Besides - there's something about the heartbeat at the beginning that does me in. And then there's the atmosphere of the song - HNNNGH.... So, since September 2009.
Have you seen the band/artist live?: No - But I have seen the live video of this song on Youtube.
If yes, were they good?: They seem amazing, very theatrical ... And awesome.

Song 10
What is it?: Stand in the Rain - Superchick
What's your favourite line?: She won't make a sound. Alone in this fight with herself, and the fear's whispering: If she stand's she'll fall down. She wants to be found - The only way out is through everything she's running from. Wants to give up, and lie down.
What is the song about?: About not giving in. Not letting those inner demons get the better of you. That, no matter how difficult something get's, you've just gotta keep on working through it.
Can you relate to this song?: I think every single person can relate to that feeling.

Song 9
What is it?: Resistance - Muse
Does it have a video? What's it about?: Yeah there is. ... I haven't actually watched it before. Okay, it's a self-love video about people going to see them live. That is why I never watched it before - I liked the desperate, mental images I had for the song >3<
Do you think the title fits in with what the song is about?: Without a doubt.
What colour best fits this song?: Oh, I don't know... I get the impression of purple, with flashes of red, and dark grey.

Song 8
What is it?: Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge
Who wrote it?: Presumably, She Wants Revenge.
How long is it?: 4:45
Does this song mean a lot to you?: Ah, there aren't any emotional ties to it. I just love the beat and the singer's voice. Also the song is rather sexy.

Song 7
What is it?: Our "World" - Namikawa Daisuke
How does this song make you feel?: A little sad, a little "Heehee" - because, you know, it's Ulquiorra - and a little "HNNNNGH"
Do your friends also like this song?: I'm fairly sure Ulquiorra fan's do =D
Have you ever sung it really loud in public?: It's in Japanese, so no ... Though I was getting pretty close to figuring out all the words for a while there.

Song 6
What is it?: 5. Marz - Megaherz
What's the rudest word in this song?: I don't know ... It's in German XDD
Do you have any merchandise of this band/artist?: Nope. This is pretty well the only song I've heard that I've liked.
If yes, what?: --- --- --- NEXT!

Song 5
What is it?: Beautiful Mine - The Butterfly Effect
Does it really deserve to be your 5th most played song?: I'm not really sure. I do like this song. I mean, I really like this song, and it's probably my favourite Butterfly Effect song ... But there are other songs that I like much more than this that aren't even on the Top 25 list.
Who does it remind you of?: My Work-mate Kylie XD
What is it about?: Uhm ... I don't ... know. Looking at the lyrics, they actually don't make much sense. I suppose it might be about someone trapped in a world - maybe by an overbearing parent - and an outsider looking in, seeing the pain that person is in, trying to encourage them to try and break free. I honestly do-not-know. If someone can come up with a better meaning for this song, please, tell me.

Song 4
What is it?: Vermillion Pt. 2 - Slipknot
If someone insulted this song/band, would you stand up for it?: Maybe. Yes. It's my absolute favourite song, so I think I would defend it. As for the band .. A lot of people are put off because, you know, it's Slipknot. They scream alot in their songs, but their songs are amazing, so it kinda bugs me that people take them at face value. Especially since Corey has another band - Stonesour - in which he doesn't scream, and it's just amazing. So I suppose I would try to talk some sense into someone who talked bad about the song/band because they don't understand them
Do you like the title of this song?: I dunno ... I'm impartial to it, really. I just know that I love the song, haha!
Has it ever been on a film/TV program/advert?: Not that I know of...

Song 3
What is it?: Destiny's People - Fujita Maiko
How much did you pay for this song? I didn't >D Oh - Wait. I think I did end up buying the album while I was over there, so maybe 30?
Was it worth it?: I think so. It's a beautiful song.
Favourite line?: I actually don't know - the entire song it really nice, and because it's Japanese I can't actually separate what lines I really like in it ...
Alright - there are two different parts I've decided on. While listening to it, this part is one I can't help but sing along to:
"hontou wa sabishii dake da to kitsuite. tsuyogari sugite umaku ikanai"
Which is translated into: "Truthfully, I realized it was just loneliness. Pretending to be so strong and stubborn didn’t work out too well"

And now, looking at the translated lyrics, I absolutely love this line:
"tatta hitori unmei no hito ga iru nara anata ga ii no ni. anata hodo suki ninareta hito wa inai no - nee minuite hoshii"
Which turns into: "If there is just one fated person, I would like it to be you. There is no one that I like as much as you -Please, notice."

Song 2
What is it?: Cold (But I'm Still Here) - Evan's Blue
Why do you like it?: Because ... I fell in love with it because of an amazing UH AMV, and I adore the lyrics to it. The imagery of it ... And the lead singer's voice is really nice. I don't know, I just like it.
If you had a quote from this song in your screen name, what would it be?: FarFromObvious
Is it by your favourite band/artist?: No ... But it is by one I really like.

Song 1
What is it?: Hekkushun - RADWIMPS (Yes. It is still my most played song ... And I haven't even been listening to it alot lately!)
Why is it your most played song?: Because it's a song that I was nigh obsessed with for a while, for various reasons. I love this song for alot of reasons - The awesome Ulquiorra-centric AMV (With UH undertones) endeared it to me, The mix and mash of English with Japanese made me sit back and go "Oh wow", the guitar-work is amazing and ... I just adore it. Also, it earned a special place in my mind considering it's the only Japanese song in which I've heard "cock". Somehow, that made it amazing, and amusing all at the same time. Strange last reason is strange.
What's the strangest place you've ever listened to this song?: I don't know - but the most awesome would be in Japan. At least, I think I listened to it in Japan ... I probably did...
What album is it from?: "Mujintou ni Motte Ikiwasureta Ichimai" .... RADWIMPS 3rd Album.
Is this your favourite song of all time?: No. Number 4 get's that honour ... But it is an amazing song.
Has it always been your most played song, or does it keep changing?: It's been my most played song for an extremely long time because when I got it, I listened to it almost religiously ... Which gave it an extreme head start over any new music I got. Evidenced by the fact that it's at 151plays ... And it's still the top spot after over a year. ... I really did listen to it alot didn't I?
What is it about?: Frankly speaking ... I don't know. I'm reading through the lyrics right now and I'm astounded by what the translation, supposedly, is. It sounds like it's about someone who has been repressed to the point that they don't even know who they are anymore, and developing a strong hate towards the person who did the repressing - maybe a Father figure? - ... To the point that they actually snap? ... Turns out, it's actually a pretty messed up song, haha!
What's your favourite line from this song?: For the lulz factor, "Can tell it from your sight and your voice and your eyes, that goes up and down
just like your licking, sucking my cock - ”it's mine!!” " Like I said, when I first heard this song, the fact that it was a Japanese song saying Cock really stuck with me XD ~~And I'm currently still reeling from the surprise of what the translation is. Messed up song.~~

Conclusions:

Apparently, I listen/ed to my UlquiHime playlist ... ALOT
I listened to Hekkushun alot more than I realised when I got it. I'm surprised It's still there considering I haven't listened to it much lately.
I really need to reset the play-counter on my iTunes. I've listened to the ones in the Top 25 so often that new music doesn't stand a chance of getting in there.
Because of that, my Top 25 isn't indicative of what my favourite songs at the time are - or else other songs like Parachute by Ingrid Michaelson, Your Call by Secondhand Serenade, My Eyes (On The Rise) from Dr. Horrible, Bulletproof by Kerli, Monster by Meg & Dia, Hero or Monster by Skillet, The Drumming Song by Florence & The Machine ... And a myriad of other songs would have been in there.
I find it really difficult to choose just one "line" of a song that I really like. There are normally at least two or more sections of a song I like.
This list doesn't really show my fondness for amazing Guitar riffs ... Really, that Disturbed song should have been swapped with Down with the Sickness - which is so damned amazing it's mind blowing.
It does, however, show my love of Japanese music, which is good. I'm especially pleased to see two of my favourite Namikawa Daisuke songs up there.

And now, I am going to reset my playcount - Though, I'm sure resetting the playcount of 3000+ songs however makes iTunes upset. It's currently not-responding, and I don't blame it. I want a new "Top 25" though, and considering I just deleted a whole heap of songs I didn't like ... It shouldn't affect things too much. So, I suppose I'll re-do this in a week or two's time just to see what my top 25 are then, haha! ~~I'm almost going to miss having Hekkushun's count at 151 XD~~

Huh. Now ... What should get the first play? Decisions, decisions.

Um ... Also, Because I'm still reeling from the "OMGWTFBBQ?!" translation of Hekkushun ... Here! Have the translation to my other favourite RADWIMPS song, Oshakashama - which is just so amazing I can't even gush over it enough. I'll even post the video for you too!
Though, some of you might remember I posted this one ages ago ... It's so awesome I don't even care that I'm reposting it though.

The lyrics - We'll kill some crows since There are too much of them.
We'll get rid of some monkeys since there are too much of them.
We'll raise more pandas since there are few of them.
But we'll raise more mankind yet while there are too much of them.

While we've always been offering prayers and singing praises to God,
we've noticed that we mankind have turned into God without knowing.
That's right, who do we think we are?

I've never seen the real thing,
but I've seen them in arts that are here and there.
Furthermore, God that I've heard in stories always
holds a shape of a human.

Is it a coincidence?
Fate that has coincided?
Perhaps just a selfish sketch?

It's here and there--
where do you mean by 'there'?
What on earth did you mean, DaVinci?

If an afterlife exists? Or if it supposedly doesn't?
What about it?
If we are to reincarnate? Or if we aren't to?
Who cares?
Mankind are always egotistic about anything.
They insist that there are still more beyond,
even while we stand on top of the chain of...whatever it's called.

If I am to become God,
and am able to decide everything,
I would certainly not do such a thing as making the world within seven days.

I would definitely spend more time,
and would make a proper plan.
Because look, since it was made in such a hurry and rush...
It's been cut and pasted, formed and ruined...

Brought forth and brought down.
Brought down then brought forth.
You ask, why?
Why is it so? What is it for?

You pretend to hold a question mark,
while you actually already know.
"Please tell me, let me know. Why is it so? Why is it so?"
I'm telling you, it's because mankind are foolish.
Of course they are, we all are aware of that.
So they should just perish by a count of 1,2,3,
cuz I'm telling you!

Mankind are born foolish, and they are to die foolish.
Then it's just pointless to use our mind!
Well, let's just look forward to ourselves in the next world.
Hey wait, what about ourselves in this world!

Come, let's be reckless! And then thoughtless!
Combine them together and let's make a mess!

Come, here's a veil, and here's a mask.
Wear them both and let's turn everything obscure.

You ask, what's wrong with all that?
There always is a path waiting ahead even after things get ruined.
You ask, what's next?
While you were the one who threw them away from doubtfulness.
But, although, however--
Yet, still, besides--
How should we do what?
Whatever we say, whatever we do, they say that they're all no good.

Then what should we do?
Where should we go?
We're unable to get there, regardless of our existence here.
So then, where should we go...?

If an afterlife exists? Or if it supposedly doesn't?
What about it?
If we are to reincarnate? Or if we aren't to?
Who cares?
If we might go to heaven? Or if by any chance to hell?
So what?
The path could be by our side, even if it might not be above or beneath us.

And you know ... I actually really like the translation of this one, because I can see the sense in it, and it just makes this song even more awesome. RADWIMPS, ILU ♥
... Yes, my first play on the new-play count was given to this song. I regret nothing.

Meme - A is for Apples

2011-05-28T12:55:11Z

A is for Apples

A. Age: 21
B. Bed size: Double
C. Chore you hate: ... ... All of them? Alright. Dusting? Seems to be the most pointless thing ever.
D. Day: My favourite?? Saturday
E. Essential start to your day: Um ... ... Brushing my teeth? XD Breakfast.
F. Favourite colour: Right now, it's Lime-Green, and Slytherin-Green. I also love red and Purple though
G. Gold or Silver: Ffff. I see this and I think Pokemon versions. Going with that, I'm gonna say Silver. Lugia over Ho-Oh
H. Height: 158? I think. I dunno, I'm 5" 2' <-- is a shorty.
I. Instruments: Guitars ftw!
J. Job title: Despatch
K. Kids: Can be cute ... But I feel so awkward around them. The only exception are my little sisters, but that's because they're family.
L. Live: Like there's no tomorrow - and Dance like no ones watching XDD. And the real answer is: Melbourne, haha!
M. Mum’s name: Julieanne. Though for some inexplicable reason she's been going by "Kitaria" lately. My mum is strange.
N. Nicknames: Phoenix (If only there was a way to get this used IRL), T, Tia.
O. Overnight hospital stays: Must really suck. I haven't had the misfortune yet.
Q. Quote from a movie: You were my new dream - and you were mine ♥♥♥
R. Right or left handed: Righty~
S. Siblings: Four sisters - Two on my mothers side (One's 18, the other 16), and two on my Dad's side (One is 3, the other 1)
T. Time you wake up: Of a weekday, 8. Of a Weekend, any time close to/after midday
U. Underwear: Are overated LOLOLOL I'm kidding, jeez ~~Only on guys~~ *cough* What was that?? Anyway ... Panties.
V. Vegetables you dislike: Brussel Sprouts. Mushrooms - Though they're growing on me. Onions - when I can taste them. I'll eat them in Spaghetti Bol's.
W. What makes you run late: Hitting the snooze button, and, occasionally, fussing with my hair.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: One. My back twinges painfully at times.
Y. Yummy food you make: ... I ... Can't really cook. Uhm ... Maybe, french toast? That's yummy.
Z. Zoo: Love them - though it does make me a little sad to see the animals confined ... Still .... I'd never be able to see Tigers, or Lions, or Snow Leopards or anything without them.

Also, this is random, but I'm realising I actually kinda like making Icons. I can't seem myself getting into anything Fancy ... But messing around with Crops and whatnot isn't too bad. Though ... This UH one is probably the one I've done that most makes me go "Okay, that is cool... And I made that" XDD I'm no graphic-art whiz ... But, I do kinda have fun with cropping XD

Random thought is random, haha!

Edit: Another meme because I'm in the mood for memes

Comment with any ship (romantic or platonic or maybe even non-existent!) from a fandom that I am or have been been involved with, and I will rant about aforementioned ship. This may be incoherent gushing or exclamations of disgust, depending on your ship of choice.

Cause for Excitement

2011-05-28T12:29:49Z

I just made my first ever online purchase - A LJ paid account doesn't count. I mean, I bought my first materialistic thing that's going to be shipped out to me

Oh sorry, was that over kill?

I'm excited, I don't really care. Excitement = Gif spam! XDD (Besides ... Now you get to see all of my "OMG!YAY!" gifs, haha!!)
Anyway...

I don't know if you guys are aware of this site called Threadless, but they have amazing shirts on there that range from the Geeky, to Trippy.
I say go forth and check them out!

I'm actually really looking forward to getting these items - and not only because it will be the first thing I bought online XD ...The shirts I've ordered are AWESOME, and the best part is, it won't cost even cost me heaps seeing as The America dollar is actually the same amount (Or is it less??) than the Aussie dollar right now *refer to earlier Happy dancing gifs*

Writer's Block: Spellbound

2011-05-25T15:30:27Z

That's simple enough to answer.

I would steal both Michael Cera's and Tom Felton's ability to wink.

Look at this!

So bloody envious of that skill. Cannot-wink-for-the-life-of-me ... Or at least, I think I look really awkward when I try.

... Noooo ... I'm not using this an excuse to post Winking-gifs ...

Edit: Note to self ... Stop hitting the Enter key while editing Tags. UGH.
In other news ... How many bloody things have I posted today? Sorry about the spam guys ^^;