Floundering around in the dark

Through Shade and Shadow

2017-02-10T15:30:20Z

Hey Everyone!

If you ever read my RPS story Shades of Tomorrow, you may be interested to know that it has been completely re-imagined, re-worked and re-written as original fiction and the first book, Through Shade and Shadow, has been published via Creativia Publishing!

Today is Feb 10, and is the last day to enter a goodreads giveaway to receive a free signed copy

You can also purchase signed copies from my Facebook shop. AND! They're on sale for only $10 plus shipping right now. After 2/15, they will revert back to regular price, $12.00.

If you prefer Kindle, you can find me on Amazon!

Through Shade and Shadow

2017-02-10T15:29:16Z

Stress Relief, Stargate Atlantis, NC-17

2016-12-11T19:30:32Z

Title: Stress Relief
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~1400
Characters/Pairing: Sam Carter/John Sheppard/Ronon Dex
Summary: Colonel Samantha Carter has needs, and on Atlantis her options are limited. When she goes looking to rekindle an old friends with benefits relationship, she gets more than she bargained for...and exacctly what she needs.

A/N: Basically this is porn for the sake of porn. I promise you it's Sam, even if her name is never said...but you can imagine any other woman I suppose. It started with just an image...and suddenly there was fic. I haven't written porn in ages. I've been busy working on my next book, which will be available early next year (shameless plug).

She bites her lip and knocks, waits. She’s pretty sure she shouldn’t be here, not now. The fling they’d had was long ago, and even then there were no promises. He’s moved on, she’s pretty sure. But it’s been a long week and she’s aching for what he could give her, to let go of leadership and stress, melt into the heat of a purely physical relationship with someone who knew exactly what she needed.

When the door opens, she’s almost convinced herself to leave, but then there’s John, in nothing but his boxers, his erection obvious, as if he is anticipating her. She starts to say something, but sees movement in the background, realizes just a little too late that she was interrupting, not anticipated.

She opens her mouth to apologize, but as she turns to leave, his hand slides down her arm, warm skin reminding her why shed come. He smiles as he stands aside, holding the door open, drawing her in. His arms slide around her and he kisses up her neck as he moves them into the room. Her mouth falls open as she sees who John has been with, and Ronon responds by licking at her lips, closing his mouth over hers in a hungry kiss.

Ronon’s big hands on her hips pull her deeper into the room, and John’s mouth finds her ear, whispers to her that it’s okay, that she’s safe. Her eyes close as Ronon’s hand round her hips, cupping her ass to pull her to him. John’s fingers work the buttons of her shirt. Facial hair scrapes over her cheek.

She knows she needs to leave, stop this before it begins, but she abandons even the thought of it as John’s hands slide over bare skin and down into her uniform pant, his fingers sliding over her clit and she surges up, her breast offered up to Ronon’s hungry mouth. The fabric of her bra is wet and his teeth tease over her nipples. John’s finger strums against her clit and she gasps, turning her head to find his mouth. Her pants are open, and her bra is loose. Ronon’s hand slips insider her panties, taking over as John’s hands lift, taking her shirt and bra and tossing them across the room.

They turn her, John kissing over her skin as Ronon’s big middle finger slides inside of her, his dirty chuckle in her ear. He fucks her with that finger until she is rocking on his hand. John works her pants down. Ronon’s hand cups her, lifts her and suddenly she is naked between them. Ronon’s thumb works against her clit and she shakes as orgasm overtakes her unexpectedly.

John presses in against her, pushes her into Ronon’s solid form, kissing her deeply. His cock brushes her thigh and she aches to be filled with it, lifting her left leg to his hip and hooking a hand behind Ronon’s neck. Ronon helps, lifting her right leg as John shifts, rubs the head of his cock against the slick wet lips of her pussy before he presses in and up. Her head falls back against Ronon, her eyes closing as John rocks them together.

They move in slow, stuttering motions toward the bed, until Ronon can help her lie back, brings a pillow to help tilt her hips. John resumes his slow motion, fucking in and down and she fists her fingers in the blanket beneath her, rising up to meet each thrust.

John moans and draws her eyes to where Ronon is pressed to his back, his teeth working over a spot on John’s shoulder. John’s head turns and the kiss is messy, tongues and teeth and lips. Ronon moves and John stills, his mouth open as Ronon’s cock spreads him open and sinks inside him. She almost comes again at the site, and does come again as Ronon’s thrust carries through John and into her.

John’s body covers hers, his cock deep inside of her just starting to soften, but they still rock together as Ronon fucks him, coming with a grunt and slumping forward. They lie there, panting, sweating. Reality begins to intrude and she lifts her head, thinking she should go. Ronon shifts, John slides off the bed.

She stands, looking for her clothes, but Ronon steps between her and the pile of cloth she had been wearing when she arrived. He says nothing but she can see they aren’t done, with each other or with her. The finger that presses to her lips tastes salty when she licks it, sucks it into her mouth. She surrenders to it, this moment. The world outside ceases to exist and there is only this physical sensation, the press of hot bodies, the smell of sex…

***

She’s lost count of the number of times they’ve brought her to orgasm, to incoherent begging, to wordless screams of pleasure…she cannot number the hours since she knocked on the door, since they touched her, since she let them.

John is behind her, her head resting on his belly, his cock half hard beneath her head. He pulls her hands up behind him, guides her to hold her wrists, securing her to him. His hands glide down her arms, cup her breasts, thumbs working circles over her nipples.

Her legs are bent at the knees, spread open, her skin covered in sweat. Ronon moves between them, his hands on her thighs, on her belly, stroking her before his lips slide damply over her open thighs, his face turning to raise a burn along tender skin. His mouth moves to her slit, his tongue sliding through the combined come to press into her swollen pussy. She brings her knees in, wanting to hold him there, but his hands push them back, and his tongue laps up to her clit, making her shudder. It won’t take much to push her back into orgasm, she’s nearly there again.

His teeth take her clit gently and he turns his head, his eyes looking up at her as he growls around the sensitive nub. It vibrates through her and sets off the pending orgasm. Ronon’s hands slide up to her knees, pressing them back as she trembles, the sounds coming from her mouth both needy and sated at the same time. John’s hands take over from Ronon, holding her open and vulnerable as Ronon rises up, filling her with his cock. He takes his time, moving easily, slowly until his groin is pressing against her.

He leans forward, licking into John’s mouth, sharing the taste of her, the taste of come. John’s cock twitches under her, hardening and pressing into her shoulder. Ronon pulls out just as slowly, each thrust slow and deep.

John guides her legs down, around Ronon’s waist and Ronon’s hands slide beneath her ass, John's hands slide to her back and together they lift her up so that she slides down the length of Ronon's cock, his hands lifting her again and letting her slide down him. Behind her Jhn is moving, fingers sliding over her skin, pressing into her ass. Ronon holds her, his hands spreading her open as John rubs over her hole with the slick end of his cock. She gasps as he presses up and in, and they take turns filling her until she is lost in the rhythm, her head dropping back onto John's shoulder.

With her eyes closed it seems to blur, hands and lips and cocks and she is boneless between them as she falls into another orgasm, her entire body quaking as they move together…it goes on for a small eternity before they are both coming and stilling and they are quiet, pressed together.

The skies are starting to lighten outside the windows that look out over Atlantis when they finally separate, and she goes to dress quietly. She pauses with her shoes in hand, crossing to where they sit side by side on the bed watching her. She kisses them each, soft, tender, heartfelt, thanking them without words. She leaves then, returns to her own quarters to shower off the smell of a night filled with sex, to dress in her uniform and prepare to face another day of duty and command.

Shades of Tomorrow

2016-04-16T20:50:00Z

Hello everyone! Sorry for the radio silence of late. I've been working very hard on some original fic.

I wanted to pop in though to give folks a heads up. By the end of May, I will be pulling down all of the Shades of Tomorrow fic, from here, dreamwidth and AO3.

I am looking to publish it as original fic and will be shopping for a publisher in the very near future. I'm hoping to have it fill two complete novels when I'm done. I've spent a lot of time cleaning it up, fleshing it out, finishing the world building, etc.

I hope you'll all love it when I'm done!

Time and Time Again, SG1, NC-17, Part Three

2015-12-20T16:23:12Z

Title: Time and Time Again, Part Three
Author: phantisma
Artist: magnavox_23
Genre: drama, adventure, AU
Rating:NC-17 (but on the lighter side)
Characters: Samantha Carter, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c, Vala Mal Doran, Cameron Mitchell
Pairings:Vala/Daniel, Vala/Sam
Warnings: Major Character Deaths (multiple)

Summary: At the end of everything, Vala Mal Doran stands alone, the last of SG1 left standing. When she is offered a chance, a possibility to change one moment in her life, she changes everything, and in the end, changes nothing at all.

Memories crashed through her, memories of things she would rather forget, things she witnessed Qetesh do while trapped inside her own body. Her muscles were tense, even as she slowly became aware of more than the memories. Someone nearby was talking, but she couldn't pull back enough from the fear and fury held in the memories to make sense of it.

"Dial it down."

The memories faded back and she could feel the table under her, the restraints that kept her bound to the table, the Tok'ra memory device stuck into her temple. There were two men in the room. One of them stepped a little closer. "How're you feeling?"

Vala panted and turned to look at him. "A little dizzy. A little tired. And very, very angry." The rage wasn’t hers, not really.

"Oh, that's because the flashbacks you're experiencing are dredging up some long-buried emotions that may be coloring your conscious mind."

Vala squinted at him, imagining squeezing his tiny head between her hands and twisting his neck until it popped. "I'm gonna kill both of you in the most painful way possible."

He didn't even have the decency to look concerned. "Things'll go a lot faster if you just relax." He glanced over his shoulder and nodded to the other man in the room. "Whenever you're ready."

Vala groaned as the memories surged again; Jaffa killing other Jaffa, and humans as well, battles that covered landscapes. Her body arched up in pain as they continued digging. She couldn't have guessed how long it lasted before it was once more pulled back and she could sense her surroundings again.

The man torturing her smiled down on her as her breathing started to even out. "You know what I think the problem is?"

Vala licked her lips and looked at the ceiling. "That I can't strangle you?"

He laughed and leaned over her, forcing her to look at him. "You're fighting the process. In the end, all you're really doing is delaying the inevitable. Why don't we try and keep an open mind? Hmm?"

"Why don't you fuck off and--" The end of her thought vanished as the memory device came back on and she fought yelling as it ripped deeper into her memory for the information they wanted.

"What was that? Turn it down."

Vala was only partially aware of her surroundings as the men scrambled and gunshots rang out. Her torturer started to remove her restraints, then dove at the equipment. The zing of a zat blast sang through the room and there was a surge through her head, leaving a trail of white noise and empty spaces. She frantically tried to finish freeing herself, even as a man in uniform came into the room, telling her he was there to help.

She didn't even have time to decide whether or not to trust him before he was collapsing to the ground, shot through the chest.

She jumped from the table and took off running, pulling at the device in her temple. She didn't look back, her heart pounding and her mind swiftly letting go of every memory.

"Vala? Vala, it's me, Daniel. We know you're in here. There's nowhere else you could've gone."

She hid in the shadows behind industrial crates and shelving, scared and despite how familiar the voice sounded, unsure.

"Vala?" That voice was more familiar and Vala eased the gun out of the back of her pants before moving slowly toward the voices. Flashes of memory flickered, voices, gunfire.

"Vala? I know you're scared. But we're not here to hurt you. We can help you remember."

There was an eruption of gunfire and yelling and Vala stood, holding the gun in front of her and moving toward the nearest exit. A woman stood in her way, a strange gun in her hand. "Get out of my way."

She shook her head. "Vala, it's me, Sam."

A man stepped in beside her, his gun hanging loose in his hand.

"Get out of my way or I will shoot you."

The man put his gun on the floor and the woman followed suit. "You don't remember who you are, but we do," he said.

"But we do." She added.

There was yelling and more gunfire, sounds of zinging electricity that drew her attention.

"Vala, if we let you go, you're gonna make yourself disappear. You've been running so long it's almost second nature to you."

Vala looked from him to the woman, memories welling up inside her and for the first time since that day in Sol's, the memories weren't terrifying. They were warm, filled with smiling faces and laughter, with friendship.

"You don't remember it, but you made a decision to stop running. It's over. Now it's time to come home."

Vala lifted the fingers of her free hand to touch her lips as a memory flooded her with warmth, a kiss…soft lips on hers. Tears filled her eyes and she blinked to clear them, looking up at the two of them. "Sam? Daniel?" Her voice trembled, but she lowered the gun and let them pull her into a hug as everything in her head shifted into place and she was herself again.

She was quiet as they took her back to the base, the memories dancing around in her head, reminding her of all that she had thought she had put behind her when she'd woken up without Qetesh in her head. Beside her, Sam slid a hand over hers and offered her a warm smile. "You okay?" she asked softly.

Vala saw Daniel turn to look at them briefly, then look away. She nodded. "I think so."

"We'll have Dr. Lam check you out once we get you home."

Vala nodded again, then let her head fall back to rest against the back of the seat. She was suddenly so tired. Her eyes slid closed and she let herself drift, listening to the sounds of the road under them as the memories played out.

Home.

She'd felt that once or twice in her life. She pulled Sam's hand closer. If she let herself believe, let herself trust…maybe she could feel it again.

Time and Time Again, SG1, NC-17, Part Two

2015-12-20T16:18:15Z

Title: Time and Time Again, Part Two
Author: phantisma
Artist: magnavox_23
Genre: drama, adventure, AU
Rating:NC-17 (but on the lighter side)
Characters: Samantha Carter, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c, Vala Mal Doran, Cameron Mitchell
Pairings:Vala/Daniel, Vala/Sam
Warnings: Major Character Deaths (multiple)

Summary: At the end of everything, Vala Mal Doran stands alone, the last of SG1 left standing. When she is offered a chance, a possibility to change one moment in her life, she changes everything, and in the end, changes nothing at all. "So, what you're telling me is that this tablet contains the hidden location of a treasure and you're not going to go after it?" Vala asked, fairly certain he was putting her on.

"No, I'm saying I haven't finished translating it and that there are serious considerations in pursuing it. The treasure is on a world where the Stargate is heavily guarded and housed in a military complex."

"And you're telling me this, why exactly?" Vala sat back, but kept her eye on the tablet.

"My sources say that you might have a way in. Say a ship, and a familiarity with the planet? He's willing to cut you in, say forty percent?"

Vala toyed with her cup and looked around the tavern. "Where?"

The Jaffa leaned forward conspiratorially. "Earth. The home of the Tauri."

Vala laughed. "Oh, I see. That explains a lot." She shook her head and reached for the tablet. He pulled it away. She raised an eyebrow. "Fine, tell your master I said no."

She stood, and he grabbed her hand. "Not so fast."

She pulled her arm free and sat back down. "I like you Aphis. I tell you what I'm willing to do, I'll give you a crate of weapons grade, refined naquada, you give me the tablet, and your cipher."

"I can't do that."

"Look, you can't get to the treasure, which makes that tablet worthless to you. Take the naquada, that should get your master some respect. I'll even throw in an Al'kesh I've been holding on to. I know Barinthus must be going crazy stuck here on this rock."

"I don't know. I'll have to get his approval."

Vala stood again, her hands on the table. "I'm leaving in the morning. You have until then."

Of course, she could just steal the tablet, but it would be easier to translate with the cipher. She knew just enough about Ancient to know she couldn't translate it herself. In fact, she only knew one person who could.

Unfortunately, he wasn't likely to help her, if the way their last interaction had ended was any indication. She'd taken the time since then to do some research. Daniel Jackson was not the same man she had known all those years before. She only had the vaguest sketch of his life since the Earth had gotten it's Stargate to work, and it was easy to see why he'd changed.

Still, if the treasure was as big as Aphis claimed, it would have significant historical value, and that was something the Daniel Jackson she knew wouldn't be able to walk away from. She just needed to make sure he didn't side line her before they got to it…and for that, Vala knew exactly what she needed. She just needed to get them.

She left the tavern, confident that in the morning she'd unload the Al'kesh that had kept a mark on her back for months, as well as the naquada she'd smuggled out of Lucian Alliance territory and be well on her way to a return trip to Earth and a chance to see if she could salvage anything of the old friendship…and get her hands on ancient treasure while she was at it.

It took more time than she anticipated, finding a way to contact Earth and Daniel. And when she had, Vala had a moment of hesitation, after all, she had no way of knowing whether Daniel would even see her, or whether they'd put her in prison for the attempt to steal their ship.

It was a run in with the Lucian Alliance that pushed her into keeping the meeting though, because she knew that they would never pursue her to Earth. She was alone then, on the designated planet when a group came through the Stargate wearing the familiar uniforms of the US Air Force.

"I'm Major Hadden, of SG12, our orders are to make sure you're not carrying weapons and escort you through the gate."

"It must be my lucky day." Vala said, holding up both hands. She giggled as one of them felt over her tight fitting leather, as if she could hide anything in that outfit. One of them picked up the case she'd left at her feet, and she reached for it, opening it herself. "No offense boys, but I'll hold on to that if you don't mind."

"She's clean, sir."

"Alright, dial us home."

Vala waited for the gate to swoosh open, glancing behind her. She was going home, something she hadn't believed possible even a few months before.

She took a deep breath and stepped through the gate, into a large metal room with a dozen guns leveled at her. She raised an eyebrow as she stepped down the ramp. "Well, don't you all have me surrounded." Vala said with amusement, raising her hands.

"Welcome to the SGC. I'm General Landry."

"Vala. Vala Mal Doran." She stopped at the end of the ramp, glancing over her shoulder at the men following behind her. "Thank you so much for the lovely greeting party. We all had a wonderful time searching each other, didn't we, boys." Vala felt eyes and turned to the man beside the general. "I know we haven't met. That I'm sure I would remember."

"Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell," the general offered and Vala smiled.

The man cocked his head to one side and clearly gave her the once over. "Nice outfit."

"Thanks!" Vala stepped through them, looking around the room. Daniel was nowhere to be seen. "While I would normally be thrilled to have so much testosterone at my disposal…Where's my Daniel?"

"He'll be joining us in just a minute." General Landry said. "He's busy at the moment. Please, come this way."

Vala followed the General and the Lieutent Colonel out the door and up a flight of stairs into a room with a long table and a view of the gate. She set the case holding the tablet on the table and crossed to look out the window. She turned back just as Daniel came striding into the room, looking scruffy and annoyed. Vala smiled and took the few steps back toward the table.

"Okay, where is it?" Daniel asked.

Vala frowned. She'd expected some residual anger, but not flat out hostility. "Nice to see you too? How have you been?"

"The tablet! The one that leads to the 'incredible Ancient buried treasure.'" Daniel practically growled.

It bothered her enough to be difficult. "There is no tablet."

"What?" Daniel was furious, she could see it.

She smiled. "I lied. I had to tell you in person this time. I'm pregnant." Mitchell was gaping at her, but Daniel clenched his fists and glared. "Pretty sure it's yours, anyway. There's at least a one in……hmm…ten chance?" She winked at Mitchell and watched Daniel spin on his heel to leave. He stopped in the doorway and turned back, his face all scrunched up.

"Wait. This time?"

She shrugged and he stalked back toward her. "What are you saying?"

"You always were too gullible for your own good." Vala said. Daniel headed for the door again, but this time Landry called him back.

"Dr. Jackson! You're the reason we let her through the gate."

"I'm sorry, sir. I really have to finish packing…"

Landry stood and adjusted his uniform, stepping around Daniel. "The Daedalus doesn't leave for another 12 hours. At least have a look."

Mitchell opened the case and Vala lifted the tablet out of the case. Daniel looked dejected as he came back to the table and stood next to Mitchell. She offered the tablet to Daniel and he snatched it from her hand, looking over and then shaking his head. "Yep, I don't know where you got this, but uh, you got ripped off. It's complete gibberish." He handed it back, but Vala just crossed her arms.
"It's written in code."

Daniel sighed and looked it over again as Mitchell stood to look over his shoulder. "Well, I can't crack this in a few hours."

Vala smiled. "I know the cipher."

Daniel was clearly less than impressed, grinding his words between his teeth as he spoke. "Then why do you need me?"

"Well, reading it is one thing, understanding it is another. The individual I got this from assured me that the treasure it describes is here on Earth. Now, I could have come by ship and looked for it myself, but that was always your area of expertise."

"My area of expertise." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "In other words, you couldn't get a ship that would make the journey and you wouldn't know where to start."

She shrugged. "I was always better at finding things that were…less hidden."

Daniel licked his lips, but Vala could tell he was intrigued. "Fine, but I'm leaving on the Daedalus in twelve hours."

"Then we better hurry."

Daniel huffed and looked up at her, seeming to give in. "Come on."

She grabbed the case and followed him through maze like corridors to an elevator and then through more corridors until they finally entered an office that was in quite a state of disarray. Boxes sat, some taped shut, others half full. Artefacts bearing tags were grouped together. "Don't touch anything." Daniel said as he went to the table in the center with the tablet. "So, where did you get this?"

Vala set the case down on the table, then continued inventorying the room. "The Jaffa may have won their freedom, but there's still more than a few Goa'uld out there. Most of them have lost their dynasties, though, and they're either on the run or in hiding.

"Yeah, no doubt plotting some means of regaining their power."

"Yes, and in the meantime, they are having a lot of trouble maintaining the lifestyle to which they've grown so accustomed over the last 5,000 years or so. As such, there are a number of rather interesting artifacts currently on the market."

She circled back to his side of the table, watching him closely. "Anyway, that isn't the issue. The question is, what's it worth?"

"Well, the Ancients aren't exactly known for secret stashes of gold." He set the tablet down and pulled the case closer, frowning at the remaining pieces. "Like these, for example." He lifted one, tilting it to the light and looking confused. Vala reached for the other one, sliding a little closer. "Wait, these markings are Goa'uld. If the treasure is supposed to be ancient, what do these have to do with it?"

"These are actually only loosely related to the tablet." Vala said coyly.

"Yeah? How?"

"Have you ever heard of the Goa'uld Nut?"

"As in cashew? Pea? Oh, you mean the Egyptian sky goddess?" He was clearly annoyed and her window was going to close soon if she didn't make a move. "No, never heard of her."

"Well, these were her ceremonial marriage bracelets. She wore one and her husband of the moment wore one."

That at least had interested him a little and he studied the bracelet a little closer. "Of the moment."

"Yes, she had many. It's one of the few admirable things about her." Vala was close enough now and she slapped the bracelet in her hand over Daniel's wrist, snatching the other one from him and stepping back.

"Ow. What are you doing?" He tried to pull the bracelet off, struggling and grunting as he stepped back toward the door. "Security."

Two men entered, their guns drawn. Daniel kept struggling, then held his wrist out to her. "Okay, that was fun. Now take it off."

"Not until we find the treasure." Vala answered.

"What!?!"

"These bracelets…" She slapped the matching bracelet down on her wrist, holding it up for him to see, "link us together. The tablet is mine, and I want my fair share of what it leads to. "

Of course, nothing ever really worked out the way she planned it, and Daniel managed to rebuff every effort she made at reconciliation, even told her she was not to mention anything about their previous relationship to anyone.

It might not have been so bad if they had actually followed through and given her a portion of the treasure once they'd found it or if the bracelets had actually worked the way the Jaffa she had stolen them from had told her they did and she hadn't found herself linked to a man who wanted absolutely nothing to do with her.

Daniel had kicked her out of his office, again and she was moping in the mess hall when Mitchell came in. "What's the matter, Jackson kick you out again?"

"You know, it didn't used to be like this. There was a time he actually wanted me around."

Mitchell grabbed a bottle of water and straddled the chair opposite her. "Oh really, when was this? While you were stealing Prometheus?"

She crossed her arms and sat back, forgetting for the moment that she was sworn to secrecy. "Before that, before Qetesh."

That got his attention. "Wait a minute, you're saying you knew Jackson…" He seemed to be doing math in his head. "No, that can't be right. That would have been before the Stargate was even operational."

Vala played idly with the bits of torn napkin on her tray, nodding. "Oh, yeah…years before. First time I saw him, I---" Suddenly Daniel's angry face filled her mind and she stopped, wide eyed. "I mean, obviously I'm just making up stories. It's what I do. I have to go."

She stood and made for her room, but he was right behind her. "Not so fast."

She put both hands on his chest and pressed her lips together. "If he finds out I said anything, he's going to kill me. He already hates me."

"He doesn't hate you." Mitchell countered, resuming following her as she tried to get away.

"He does. I can't really say that I blame him, the way I left."

"You lived on Earth before." Mitchell said.

She stopped, dropping her shoulders in defeat. "I grew up on Earth, if you must know. Daniel and I met in a foster home. There, satisfied?"

"Not in the least. What's the story?"

Vala drew herself up, determined to at least retain something of the secret. "You'll have to ask him. I'm not saying."

She opened the door to her room and closed it behind herself without looking back. She huffed and paced the confines of her room before crossing to the table where there was a small stack of clean clothes that had been offered to her for her stay. Most of it was the drab military clothes she was already wearing, but then a flash of red caught her eye. She pulled some slinky lingerie out of the stack and an idea began to form.

She had tried to reach Daniel with the puzzle, with the mystery, with everything but her best asset. Maybe if she could get him to see past her previous betrayals with a more physical approach, she could finally make this work.

She waited until shortly before she expected Daniel to head back to his room and slipped out of hers with a robe on over the lingerie. She winked at the guard as she let herself into Daniel's room and slipped off the robe, sliding into his bed and pulling the covers up to hide herself.

She didn't have long to wait. Daniel opened the door and turned on the light, stopping cold when he saw her.

"Hello." Vala said in what she hoped was a seductive voice.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Daniel responded, his forehead scrunching up.

"Isn't this my room?" Vala asked sweetly.

Daniel waved at the door behind him, still frowning at her. "No, your room is across the hall with the guard in front of it." Daniel looked from her to the door and back again.

This wasn't exactly how she'd imagined this working. "Ah yes, they do all rather look alike, don't they? Anyhow, since I'm here, shall we make the best of it?" She threw the covers back and posed with a wink.

Daniel actually stepped backward and shook his head. "No, we shalln't."

Vala sat up, moving onto her hands and knees and crawling toward him. "Come on, Daniel. Remember how good it was? You and me, nothing between us but sweat…"

"I remember." Daniel said, moving away from the bed. "I also remember you leaving to chase some payday that probably never came."

It was Vala's turn to pull away. "As a matter of fact it didn't, because before I could get what was promised to me, I was invaded by a Goa'uld. Thanks for the reminder."

"Oh." Daniel looked like he'd actually forgotten that part, that no matter what she had planned, once Qetesh was in play, there was no way Vala was coming back to him. "I'm sorry."

She crossed her arms. "So am I." She felt ridiculous standing there like that, so she reached for her robe.

"Vala, wait." He reached for her, but she pulled away.

"No, Daniel, obviously it was too much to think that you might want to try to get that back again, that I'd be allowed to revisit the happiest time in my life…" She was actually choking up, and she didn't want to be that woman. She shoved her arms into her robe and pulled it closed.

"Vala, stop." She risked a glance up. He looked softer somehow, like maybe he was finally considering the possibility that maybe she wasn't playing some angle. "A lot has happened since then. I'm not the same man I was."

She pushed past him and opened the door. "Yeah, I've noticed." She started to walk away, but stopped, glancing over her shoulder at him. "I'm not the same either, Daniel. A lot has happened to me too. I loved you once. I thought maybe you'd felt the same. I guess I was wrong." She closed the door and hurried across the hall to her own room.

She heard Daniel call her name, but she ignored him, closing the door behind her as the tears started to fall.

"I told you, it was a bad idea letting him come here and you can't trust a single thing he says." Vala argued.

"It wasn't my call." Daniel argued back, taking the folder from her again. "Why don't you do something ….else. Somewhere else. Sam should be here--"

"Right about now."

Vala whirled and stumbled back a step, her mind suddenly going a little blank. Daniel didn't seem to have the same problem, hugging the newcomer with a wide smile. "Sam, it's good to see you."'

"You too." They separated and Sam turned to Vala, her eyes bright and sparkling. "Hello Vala."

"Sam…Samantha…I didn't make the connection." Vala said, still stunned.

"I wasn't sure you'd remember me." Sam said, turning slightly pink and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Vala took a hesitant step forward, her face heating up too. "How could I…you…"

"Wait, you two know each other?" Daniel asked.

"It was a long time ago." Sam said. "And it's a long story that we don't have time for right now. We have an Ori incursion to stop." Sam smiled and the heat in Vala's face increased. "When we get back."

Vala didn't even know how to respond, so she just nodded.

"How did you do that?" Daniel asked as they headed out of the room. "I've been trying to get her to shut up for weeks."

Vala didn't even rise to the jibe, she was too busy analyzing the heat in her stomach and other places. Samantha Carter was the last person she'd expected to run into. When they'd said goodbye, Samantha was off to the Air Force Academy, sure, but somehow Vala always imagined her in the public space program, not something so secret as the Stargate program.

It wasn't until she was finishing getting into her gear that Vala looked up to find that she and Sam were alone in the locker room. "You haven't said much." Sam observed.

"You caught me by surprise." Vala said, smiling. "A good surprise."

Sam grinned. "The first time Daniel told me your name, I could only think about that last day, before you left." Her cheeks turned pink. "But, it was so long ago. I really wasn't sure if you'd remember." She bit her lip in that same adorable way she had all those years before.

Vala stood and crossed to her side. "I've thought of you often," she said softly. "I've missed you often."

"I meant what I said, when we get back, I want to spend some time catching up."

"I'd like that." Vala agreed.

Vala realized just a little too late that her heroic act, while successful, was not going to end well for her. She stumbled into the ring transporter, but knew as the energy crackled around her, she was going to be lucky to live through it.

Lightning arced around her as the rings activated and Vala closed her eyes, praying just to live through it. Everything around her exploded and she felt like she was being sucked into a dark hole…and then there was nothing.

Her next awareness was one of pain. She was stretched and broken, pieces held together by skin. Which meant she was alive. She opened one eye, but the light was too much and there wasn't much to see.

The pain overwhelmed her and she fell back into the depths of dark punctuated by voices calling her name, voices she thought she should know, but none of them came close enough to hold on to.

She wasn't sure exactly what brought her up from the dark next, but everything was different. She could tell she was in a soft bed, with warm blankets. She still hurt. Like her body had been pulled in all directions until everything snapped back together.

Vala opened her eyes slowly, hoping to find herself in the infirmary as she had so many times before, but instead of the sterile surroundings and Daniel's grumpy face, she was in a room that was vaguely familiar, rustic and simple. She heard a door open and turned her head.

The man who stood there looked surprised, but he smiled. "You're awake. I was beginning to worry." He carried a tray into the room and set it on the bed beside her legs. "I knew the Ori would not have sent you to me only for you to die."

Vala swallowed hard. "The Ori?"

He smiled again. "I was walking and found you lying unconscious on the ground. I knew that the Ori had sent you to me. I brought you here and I have cared for you. I will continue to care for you until you are well again."

"I…thank you." Vala said, her head reeling. If she'd been sucked through the wormhole…she could actually be in the Ori's galaxy. Which might explain how she was feeling. That kind of a journey by rings could likely do some damage to a body. "You may have saved my life. I'm Vala."

He smiled and blushed lightly. "I am Tomin. I brought some water for you and a warm broth, if you're able." He came around the side of the bed and helped her sit up before pulling the tray closer. He sat gingerly beside her and lifted the cup of water. "I've only managed to get a small amount into you these last few days."

She sipped at the water, taking almost half of it before sitting back. "How long have I been here?"

"It will be three days come this afternoon." Tomin said. "Would you like to try the broth?"

Vala nodded and let him help her drink it, but she was already feeling tired and it seemed Tomin understood. "You should rest more. I will leave you the water, and be just downstairs, should you need anything."

Vala bit her lip, pacing the small kitchen area, uncomfortable in the clothes Tomin had brought her. She mostly had her strength back, but there was something else not right. Well, that was an understatement. The whole situation was completely in the category of not right.

There was Seevis, who she half expected to come storming through the door to haul her into the square for a proper burning. There was Tomin, who was hopelessly doe eyed over her and believed anything and everything she said without fail.

And there was the fact that she was increasingly becoming convinced that she was pregnant. Which made even less sense than any of the rest. She was fairly certain that she would remember having sex at any point in recent months, but considering that her last attempt had ended in tears…

She knew she'd have to do something and the only thing that made logical sense, not that any of it did, was to get Tomin to sleep with her so she could at least pass that off as the reason she was pregnant. Which was going to mean convincing him to marry her, because she was pretty sure it was the only way he'd touch her.

And somehow, she had to find her way back to her own galaxy.

She inhaled slowly and let it out. One thing at a time. Don't die because you're impossibly pregnant.

It was a huge risk, but one she had to take. She held her stomach as she sat down at the table and put the stone into the device. Almost instantly she was looking at Daniel's face in the mirror. "Right. Sam." She finished washing his hands and dried them, glancing around the locker room. "Don't get distracted, Vala," she mumbled, but she stopped when she saw Mitchell just finishing shaving. She smirked at him in the mirror above him, tilting her head.

"Jackson? Is there something I should know?"

She was tempted, but she knew that she was in danger and could be discovered at any moment. She rolled her eyes. "Get dressed. I need you to come with me to find Sam."

She was surprised how easy it was to convince them that it was her, but then, Sam was brilliant. She wasted as little time as possible, well, other than asking for food, and having to back track after Mitchell told her to fast forward.

"They are building ships and armies by the tens of thousands. The village I am living in is one of many, on a world among dozens like it." She shook her, well, Daniel's head. "Even Tomin has been conscripted. They healed his limp and everything. He's so…gentle and trusting and they're going to turn him into a killer." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Sam smiled at her when she opened her eyes again. "Since you've been gone, we've learned a few things about the Ori that their followers might be interested to know."

"It doesn't matter what the truth is about the Ori. The people won't hear it, no matter what you say." Vala said.

"Obviously, some of them are suspicious enough to form a resistance." Mitchell said.

"You're talking about a handful of people compared to millions who wouldn't know the truth if it were standing right in front of them. It's all lies and propaganda as far as they're concerned. We're wrong, they're right. They're good, we're bad. We must worship the Ori or die, and they will fight until we are dead or they are. Period." It was hopeless, and she knew it. "Even the underground knows they can't win this, not on their own. They tried to blow up the ships, but someone must have found out. Nothing happened."

"So how are you using the stones?" Sam asked.

"The underground had spies in Celestus that smuggled them and the device out. The ships are working, I saw them just this morning. And Tomin." Her breath caught in her chest and she had to force air out and breathe in again. "His last words to me before going out to the ships were that a day of reckoning was coming for all those who were raised by evil."

"When you say 'day of reckoning'…" Mitchell said, turning to look at Sam.

"We've heard numerous reports of the Priors in this galaxy warning of an impending doomsday." Sam offered.

"A day when all who have renounced the Ori will feel their wrath." Teal'c added.

"We knew the Priors were just the first wave. The real Crusade is about to begin. The ships are planning to leave." Vala said.

Sam looked worried. "But that would mean—"

Vala nodded. "Somewhere out there the Ori have a working Supergate."

She had thought it would be harder to convince Tomin, and for that matter, the Priors to let her come aboard the ships. She hadn't quite figured out yet that she was nothing more than a pawn in their game, a means of circumventing the unwritten rules of ascended beings…provided they really did have rules and weren't just fucking with everyone's heads.

That understanding came as the labor started, and the child she was unwillingly carrying began to rip its way out of her body, as she finally expelled the child and the nurses brought along to see her through labor and delivery summarily left with the child, leaving her bleeding and wanting to hold her to be told that her child was some kind of Ori savior.

Now though, now it was painfully obvious that while she may have given birth to the child standing…STANDING in front of her, Vala had been nothing more than a convenient vessel for the Ori to come to this galaxy in the form of a human spokesman. Child.

Although at the rate she was growing, she wouldn't be a child long.

"I know why you believe what you do. The Ancients are the ones who have lied to you. They are the ones who long ago tried to destroy the Ori for their beliefs. Not the other way around. Only the Ori share all they learn. The Ancients have kept the basic truths of your existence from you." She was very passionate for a child less than a day from being born.

Vala stood and moved toward the door. Behind her, Adria stood as well. "They have hoarded their knowledge and been dishonest about everything! Contrary to what they've told you, the Ori most certainly do ascend their followers. And the Ancients are the ones sapping energy from humans in this galaxy, to empower themselves! That is why they created you. To give them the strength to destroy the Ori once and for all. That is why all those who cannot be made to see the true Path, must be destroyed, or all will be lost…to evil."

Vala was irritated and was starting to have a better appreciation for her own parents and what she must have been like as a child. She took a deep breath. "Are you saying this is a preemptive strike? It's self-defense?"

Adria crossed her arms and tilted her head just so. It was a posture Vala knew well. "It matters not what you call it. The cause is just, and the truth will see us through to victory."

"Do you really believe that? Or are you just hoping I will?"

That at least seemed to give her pause. "Why don't you believe me, Mother?"
Vala sighed. Maybe it was because she was the Orici, whatever that was supposed to mean, or maybe it was because she was also Vala's daughter. "I don't know."

"You choose to take the word of an Ancient over your daughter. What have the Ancients done to earn your trust?"

"About as much as you." Vala responded.

Adria was clearly annoyed with her as well. "In the end, only you can decide the fate of your own soul."

Vala nodded. "At least we agree on something."

She let herself out of the room, rubbing at her forehead as she made her way through the halls to her own. She opened the door, wanting to scream her frustration out or something, but knowing it wouldn't do her any good and could get her into more trouble.

The door was no sooner closed than she sensed she wasn't alone and she whirled around, blinking several times when she found a man in a hood standing behind her with a gun. Before she could even scream, a hand pushed the hood back and revealed Daniel. She frowned and opened her mouth to say something, but he beat her to it.

"Long story."

"Are you alone?" Vala asked, hoping he would say no and that there was some plan underway to stop the Ori and rescue her.

"Yes. What happened to you?"

She frowned, looking from him to the gun he's still pointing at her."What do you mean?" His eyes moved pointedly to her belly and back up at her and understanding dawned on her. "Oh! I had a baby." She moved away from the door. "You know, I never thought I'd agree with my grandfather, angry old coot, but now I'm starting to remember about how he used to go on about 'you nurture them, and then you raise them, and you teach them the best that you can, and then all they do is break your hearts.' I always assumed that his experience was just tainted by me."

Daniel dropped the gun and made a face. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, she started of out all sweet and innocent to begin with, and now she's hell-bent on domination of the galaxy."

"What? How old is she?"
"A few hours." She shook her head. "The Ori used me to sneak one of their own over the border. This child is their way of cheating the ascended rulebook. Well they couldn't exactly encroach on our galaxy themselves without getting into a confrontation with the Ancients, right?"

Daniel nodded, but still looked confused.

"So they created their own human representative, with their knowledge, to lead their armies."

"Sort of an uber-Prior, like the Doci?" Daniel asked.

"Oh, but she's much worse than that! The Priors are just pawns. She knows the score. She's complicit with the Ori. You should have heard the propaganda that she just tried to feed me."

"Wait, wait, wait. We're talking about a baby here, right?"

"Oh, she's been genetically altered. She'll be a fully grown figurehead in a day or so."

"This is bad." Daniel said, shaking his head now too. "This is bad."

"Hello, I'm the one who's been living with that….child inside me. After saving your collective asses, I might remind you."

Daniel sighed and hung his head. "Yes, and we were all very grateful. Do you have any idea where we're going?"

Vala bit her lip for a moment. "No. That she wouldn't tell me. She knows I'm not on her side. She's still hoping I'll see the light. But part of her can't help but feel tied to me. She wanted me to give her a name."

"And?"

"Adria. Told her it was my mother's."

"Not?"

"First foster mother. Witch of a woman." Vala paced, going over her last encounter with Adria in her mind. "She has the knowledge of Ascended Beings, twisted as it may be, but I sense that there is a part of her that is just like any other kid, that wants her mother's approval. So I'm hoping I can use that somehow. I mean, why else would she care what I think, right?"

"Well, right now I'm a little more concerned about getting off this ship. I mean, there's only so long I can hide."
Vala could hear Tomin coming and saw his shadow at the door. "Hide."

"Yeah."

"Hide!"

Daniel jumped and rolled off the far side of the bed and slid under it just as the door opened. Tomin looked like he was ready to fall down he was so tired. Vala smiled at him. "Hi. Long day?"

Tomin rubbed over his face and seemed to sag as he took a step toward the bed. "Uh, I'm exhausted. Uh, I see you're up and around."

Vala tried to distract him when he looked like he was going to circle the bed, but when he didn't respond, she got aggressive, pushing him back onto the mattress and climbing on top of him, grinning down at him. "Yes, I'm much better." She kissed him playfully, and while he didn't respond enthusiastically, he didn't push her off of him either.

That was progress of a kind. All she needed to do was keep him distracted enough that he didn't realize Daniel was there…without resorting to anything that would be difficult between them later. She didn't have to worry about that at least. Tomin was too tired and she ended up with her head in his lap as they spoke of her disbelief and his devotion.

"Why are you here with me if you doubt my devotion?" Vala asked softly.

"Because I love you. Because I'm still hoping I can save your soul." Tomin responded, leaning down to kiss her softly.

The lighting changed suddenly and sirens started to sound. Tomin helped her sit up and stood. "What is it? Where are you going?"

"I'm called to duty." Tomin nodded to her and left.

Vala rubbed her forehead. "And here I was hoping I could save him."

Daniel was up and moving around. The ship was slowing and in the hallways she could hear the sounds of men marching.

"Not much of a firefight." Daniel observed from the window.

Vala moved to open the door and peek out. A column of soldiers marched by. She watched for a minute, then closed the door and turned back to Daniel. "Looks like the ground incursion is about to begin ."

Daniel looked over his shoulder at her. "We're on Chulak." He took a step away from the window and turned to her. "With most of the warriors out there fighting Jaffa, we might be able to get off the ship undetected."

"We have an opportunity here." Vala said, gesturing toward Adria's room down the hall.

"Yes, I was thinking that, but we don't know what powers that child might have."

Vala licked her lips, not sure where the sudden urge to protect the child was coming from. "She is the key to the whole invasion. If we could somehow capture her, take her with us, turn her against the Ori, then she would become the most powerful weapon we could have against them."

Daniel looked unconvinced. "That's a big if."

"You got anything better?" Vala asked, knowing the answer was no. "Look, I know we need to think about getting out of here, and far be it from me to argue against self-preservation, but she's only going to get stronger and more powerful as she gets bigger."

Daniel nodded, still not looking entirely convinced. "Okay, we try it, but--"

Vala didn't wait for him to finish. "You're going to need a better disguise."

As plans went, it wasn't her best, she knew that. It might have worked if Tomin hadn't come in, if…No, she wasn't going to kid herself anymore. They were lucky to have lived. If Daniel hadn't grabbed her when he did she would be dead, like the rest of Chulak.

She wiped the stray tear away and rubbed the bandages on her stomach. There was a part of her that knew Daniel was right, he should have shot Adria when he had the chance. And yet, there was another part of her that wanted to save Adria, to somehow reach through to the human child under all of the Ori programming.

Vala sniffed and wiped her eyes as the door opened and Sam peeked in. "Can I come in?"

Vala smiled and pushed herself up a little straighter. "Sam."

"Are you okay?" Sam asked as she got close enough that she could tell Vala had been crying.

Vala nodded. "I will be. It's been a tough couple of months."

Sam lifted her hip to sit on the end of the bed. "I can only imagine."

Vala ran her fingers over her cheeks and up through her hair, realizing she must look frightful. "Not exactly how I wanted this reunion to happen." Vala said, shaking her head.

Sam's hand was on her thigh and even through the thin infirmary blankets Vala could feel the heat of her skin. "You look great." Sam assured her. "Considering everything you've been through in the last forty eight hours, you look…incredible." She smiled and blushed a little. "We should be back on Earth soon."

"And then what?" Vala asked softly.

"And then we try to find a way to fight, we find their weakness." Sam said, just as quietly. "It's what we do."

"Maybe you didn't see what I saw out there. The Ori don't seem to have much in the way of weakness." Vala said, a little more bitterly than she meant to.

Sam's hand rubbed her thigh and Vala looked up. She had forgotten how beautiful Samantha Carter was. Even here, with the terrible lighting and the galaxy at war and all the years between them, somehow Vala felt like she did at nineteen, laying on the grass with Sam on that last day.

Sam cleared her throat and Vala blinked. "I'm sorry. I was staring." Vala said. "You--I'd forgotten how beautiful you are."

Sam blushed more and moved her hand to cover Vala's. "You know, when Daniel first told me your name I was sure it couldn't really be you, but then I thought, 'how many Vala Mal Dorans can there be?'…turns out, only one."

Vala turned her hand under Sam's, pressing their palms together. "I'm sorry." Vala said, surprising herself.

"For what?" Sam asked, tangling their fingers together.

"I lied to you." Vala said, swallowing hard. "When I left…I was…" She blinked and pulled her hand free. "I didn't want to be the one who got left. Again." She blinked at sudden tears and shook her head, angry at herself. She was never this emotional before…though she wasn't sure before what. Before Adria? Before Qetesh? Before Daniel in Egypt? Before she fell in love?

"I knew you were lying." Sam said softly. "You were scared. I was terrified. But I've never been sorry about anything between us. Those six months changed me."

Vala sniffed, not sure she believed her. "Yeah?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah." She eased off the bed. "I should let you get some rest. I need to get back to work. I'll come by later."

"I'll be here." Vala called after her, watching the door close. There was a warm feeling in her stomach, like coming home. She hadn't felt that in a very long time.

Vala felt a little odd in her borrowed dress, but as Sam smiled and they were shown to a table, she told herself to relax. It was a simple evening out. Everything had been so busy and their fight against the Ori so dismal, that taking any time away from it had seemed ridiculous. Until Sam had come to her door and offered to take her out, so that they could talk.

"Thank you." Sam nodded to the host as he held her chair, then did the same for Vala.

They were offered menus, and Vala took hers while looking around the room. "Fancy."

Sam smiled. "I wanted someplace nice."

"You remember that place we went to after you left your prom date?" Vala asked. "It wanted to be this place when it grew up."

Sam laughed and put her napkin in her lap. "With their paper placemats?"

"And the fake flowers on the tables." Vala said laughing. "I like this place better. And I don't mind telling you, I've been looking forward to this little date all week."

Sam sort of fidgeted in her chair. "I don't know that I'd call it a date, exactly."

Vala looked at Sam who was suddenly very interested in her menu. "Not a date? What is it then?"

"Do we have to name it? Can’t it just be two friends having dinner?"

"In a nice romantic restaurant?" Vala's heart was pounding a little harder than it had been. She hadn't been lying about looking forward to this night. A chance to finally go past the small talk and idle flirting.

Sam put down her menu with a sigh. "Look, Vala--"

"Good evening, can I get you ladies started with a drink this evening?"

"Oh, I think you can." Vala responded, grabbing the drink menu.

"Tonight's featured martinis are the chocolate, passion fruit, and shochu plum."

Vala avoided looking at Sam, just smiled up at the waiter. "They all sound wonderful. So… one of each, then?"

Sam took the drink menu from her hands. "Yeah, no. She'll have the chocolate. I'll just have water."

"Great, I'll get that started while you look at your menus."

He walked away and Vala lifted her menu to look at it. "Vala…"

"You always were a little bossy." Vala said, peering around the menu at her. She kicked herself mentally. She wasn't trying to put Sam on the defensive.

"Bossy? Me?" Sam put her menu down to look at her. "You know, Daniel may be more right about you than I've been willing to admit."

Vala put her menu down too, irritated at more than herself now. "Daniel? What does he have to do with …with this." She moved her hand back and forth between them.

Sam nodded. "Okay, let's start there. I know there's history there."

Vala's mouth fell open and she partially turned away, trying to follow how the conversation had gone so spectacularly wrong so quickly. "Daniel. Right." She licked her lips and wished for her drink for a distraction. "Is this…jealousy?" Vala asked, incredulously.

Sam sat back, looking startled. "What? No. What would make you think…" She sighed and pressed her lips together. "Look, you've known Daniel a lot longer than me. You have…connections I can't lay claim to. I don't…" She stopped as the waiter returned with their drinks.

"Are you ready to order, or do you need a minute?"

"Give us a minute." Sam said, smiling at him.

He walked away and Vala lifted her drink, taking a sip. Sam hadn't picked badly, it was quite tasty.

Sam cleared her throat. "What I mean is, I can't help but notice that it was Daniel you came back to Earth for, it's been Daniel you've been flirting with. If Daniel is who you want, I don't want to…I don't want to come in here with some school girl expectations that something that lasted six months, twenty years ago can just go back to being real."

Vala was quiet for a second, then looked up at Sam. "Nineteen," she corrected. She reached across the table to take Sam's hand, making sure that she caught her eye at the same time. "Nineteen years, three months, tomorrow."

Sam blushed, her eyes dropping to their joined hands as Vala rubbed a thumb over the back of her knuckles. "What? You remembered that?"

"There are a lot of things in my life that I would prefer to forget, Samantha, but you are not one of them…and neither is that day. I have regretted that day every single day since."

"Oh." Sam said, glancing down. "Me too. I mean…I think about it a lot."

"I was with you for six months. I've never been with anyone longer. Even Daniel. Yes, I've known him since we were kids. We lived in the same foster home for a little more than a year, then I found him one time I ran away and he hid me in the school basement for a week or so. And, in full disclosure, I ran into him in Egypt before he got his first PhD, and we spent a week together. And yes, we had sex and it was good…and if things had been different, I might have gone back and been with him, but I ended up a long way from him or you with no way back…until I found him by accident again."

"Um. Excuse me?" They both looked up and Vala dropped Sam's hand.

"Right. Our order. I'll have the penne with chicken." Vala said, smiling and handing the waiter her menu.

Sam was positively radiant with blush as she followed suit with her menu. "I'll have the same."

The waiter was also a rather adorable shade of red as he walked away and Sam laughed. "So, where does that leave us?"

Vala bit her lip for a second. She hadn't fully articulated her feelings in a long time. "How about, at the beginning? Like the first time?"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "What, like dating?"

Vala nodded. "There are a lot of years since that last kiss, a lot of new things to learn about each other."

Sam smiled. "I think I'd like that."

Vala couldn't help but smile too. "But first, I need to use the ladies room." She stood as Sam gestured back toward the front door. Vala took two steps away, but then swiveled back, taking Sam's face in her hands and pressing their lips together. "I thought we should get the first one out of the way." Vala said softly, grinning widely before she headed for the bathroom.

She was so caught up in the taste of Sam's lips she never noticed the man, or the needle until it was too late and she couldn't even cry out for help.

Time and Time Again, Stargate SG1, NC-17, Part One

2015-12-20T16:13:09Z

Title: Time and Time Again, Part One
Author: phantisma
Artist: magnavox_23
Genre: drama, adventure, AU
Rating:NC-17 (but on the lighter side)
Characters: Samantha Carter, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c, Vala Mal Doran, Cameron Mitchell
Pairings:Vala/Daniel, Vala/Sam
Warnings: Major Character Deaths (multiple)

Summary: At the end of everything, Vala Mal Doran stands alone, the last of SG1 left standing. When she is offered a chance, a possibility to change one moment in her life, she changes everything, and in the end, changes nothing at all.

It was over. More than over. She’d stood beside another grave trying to pretend she was completely capable of saying goodbye forever, that she hadn’t been changed by the years spent in the company of the first real family she’d ever really known, that she could…no, would, go on.

Her hair was more gray and white than black now, and even the pigtails weren’t enough to make her look younger than she was. She still wore the uniform, but it was more habit. She had a closet full of fabulous clothes, but she never really wanted to wear them any more. She didn’t go through the gate much anymore, not since Cameron had been taken by a plague so virulent they couldn’t even bring his body home. He’d been the first. Vala had stood there staring, her arm around Sam’s shaking shoulders, blindly offering comfort she was too numb to comprehend.

It hadn’t been long before Sam retired to be a grandmother to Cassandra’s children. She’d stayed close, and they’d have dinner, coffee, breakfast…until the day they were leaving a coffee shop together and right into the path of two men fighting. Sam’s head hit the concrete with a sick, wet sound and she had knelt there, in the spilled coffee and blood, Sam’s final breaths gasping out with goodbyes and “Tell Daniel…” It had been stupid and senseless and she hadn’t come out of her room for weeks after.

It had been Teal’c who finally got her breathing again, moving again. She wasn’t the same, but he pretended that she was and she slowly believed enough to get back to the job she had once taken as a sort of farce, a good position to scope out her next score. Only now it wasn’t a joke. They were SG1. They saved the world. Sometimes more.

But, Muscles died at the middle of a complicated political puzzle at the heart of the Jaffa nation. He’d talked about taking her to see something on the new Jaffa home world when he came back, but only hours after he left Stargate Command, word came that he was dead, his throat slit.

She still came to the mountain every day and they gave her things to do. Daniel had let her hang out in his lab, help him catalog artifacts while he told her stories of his childhood, or digging in various countries around the world before the SGC.

Now though…

She stood staring at the door for a long time before she finally knocked. “Come in.”

She opened the door and the woman behind the desk waved her in. “Vala, I thought you were taking some time off.”

She was younger than most of the others who had sat at that desk, a strong woman with an impeccable service record and a kind face, only there since just before…well, not long. “General Lawson, I was thinking.” Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat, licked her lips before trying again. “I think I might like to take you up on the offer you made when Daniel…well, before.”

She smiled sadly and nodded. “I thought you might. I have a ship ready for you.”

Vala raised an eyebrow. “You do?”

“It isn’t one of our new long haul cargo shuttles, don’t get excited. We have fully retrofitted an Al Kesh for you, completely upgraded and stocked with what you need to get you just about anywhere you want to go.”

“Oh.” She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting. She sank slowly into the chair, her mind wandering back to other times in this office, other Generals, Daniel’s exasperation when she would push the boundaries.

“Not what you wanted?” The general turned alarming green eyes and pinned Vala to her spot.

“I…don’t know.” Vala exhaled, closing her eyes against tears she didn’t want to cry. “I don’t honestly know what I want.” She wanted her family back. She wanted to hear Sam laugh, to listen to Cameron’s stories about his flying days, to see Teal’c’s eyebrows raise, to feel Daniel’s hand on hers.

Tears slipped past her defenses and her hands shook as she lifted them to wipe at the tears.

“I know this must be hard for you.”

“My whole life has been hard.” Vala countered. “Why should this be different?”

“Because this time, you learned to love.” The room was warm, bright.

Vala blinked, but the light was getting stronger and General Lawson seemed to blur, like she was fading away.

“Tell me, Vala Mal Doran, if you could change one moment, any moment, of your life…if you could wish for the chance to have come to this place differently, what would choose?”

A dozen scenes from her life raced through her brain. The moment she was chosen to host a Goa’uld, the day she knew her father was never coming back, the way her mother looked at her…then a moment settled in her brain. She couldn’t have been more than three. A woman came to the village and offered to take children to a safe world where the Goa’uld didn’t come and steal them to make them slaves or monsters. She’d clung to her mother…but what if she’d been brave? What if?

***
Magda Mal Doran laughed as her adopted daughter danced across the floor to whatever song was in the girl’s head, taking her hand to help her twirl as she reached Magda’s chair. Vala kept dancing, right up to the bookshelf, where she grabbed the book of fairytales and danced back.

“It’s reading time, Mom. Can you read to me?”

Magda smiled. “Of course, my dear. What will it be today? Princesses?”

Vala climbed up into her lap and opened the book. “I like the one with the straw turning into gold.”

“Rumpelstiltskin? Didn’t we just read that one yesterday?”

“Again.” She nestled in against Magda and got comfortable while Magda found the place in the book and started to read.

In the two years that Vala had come to live with Magda and her husband Jeffrey, it had taken work to draw her out of her shell. At three years old the little girl had barely spoken, and what words she said were silly, made up words no one understood but her...but they’d been patient with her and as they approached the date they’d chosen for her birthday, she was nearly ready for starting school in the fall.

It was a mixed blessing. Magda couldn’t bear children and they had been turned down repeatedly by adoption agencies because of Magda’s disability…but Magda loved being a mother, loved having a child to pour her love into and Vala’s first day of school marked the beginning of her little girl really growing up.

***
Vala stood beside her grandfather, trying to ignore the tears building in the corners of her eyes. Her mother didn’t want her to cry, so she wasn’t going to cry. Her mother had been strong and had raised her to be strong. She was a big girl now and she needed to be brave.

The mourners were sparse; a few close friends that Vala had known all of her life, Vala’s gymnastics teacher and dance instructor, some friends from school . Her grandfather was an old man she barely knew but once the funeral was over, she’d be moving to a whole new state with him, far from the people she knew.

She was nine years old and for the second time in her life, she was starting over. She barely remembered the first time, just a few scattered memories of her first mother, of being scared and feeling alone, but all of that was overshadowed by the love of the mother and father that raised her. Now, as she climbed into the car with her grandfather she wondered if she would ever feel the safety and love they had given her ever again.

They drove away from the cemetery, away from her house and most of her things. There was a suitcase in the trunk with her clothes, some shoes, her mother’s locket with a picture of the three of them when Vala had been seven. She had tucked a couple books in there too, the favorites that they had read together, a few that they hadn’t ever gotten to. She had promised her mother she would continue to read every day, that she would never stop learning history and science and other things.

But first, she was in for a long drive. She laid down in the back seat of her father’s big old car and closed her eyes. She didn’t mean to cry, but she missed the softness of her mother’s thigh pillowing her head, the gentle touch of her hand stroking Vala’s face until she was asleep.

***

She stopped at the door, her eyes swiping around the room, clocking the important information. Peter and Dominic were in the corner with what looked like a school book, but probably had a dirty magazine inside it. The old man was in his recliner, reading the paper, flicking it from time to time to pretend he was watching the kids. Jesse and Jenny sat on the couch playing with their Barbie dolls.

Her eyes caught on the new kid in the opposite corner from the older boys, knees folded up to his chest, hiding a bloody lip and black eye behind an old looking book. She crossed to sit next to him, bumping his shoulder with her own. “Who did the hitting?”

“No one.” He murmured, but his eyes lifted to the boys across the room.

“Dominic then?”

“He didn’t hit me.”

“No, he probably just shoved you into a door or something.” Vala had seen them harassing the poor kid the day before. He was a prime target for bullies like those two: small for his age, scrawny with long, shaggy hair and clothes that didn’t fit right, glasses that were too big for his face . It didn’t help that he was a little on the nerdy side, always lugging around dusty old books

“The bookshelf, actually.”

She nodded, turning his face toward her. “We best put some ice on that lip and beat it outside before the old lady gets back. If she catches us in the kitchen, we’ll end up cooking dinner. Come on.”

She stood, at first not sure he’d come, but he stood, hugging the book to his chest and she made sure to keep herself between him and the bullies until they were out of the room. She opened the freezer and pulled out two cubes of ice, then grabbed a plastic baggie from the drawer beside the fridge. She handed him the bag, then climbed up on the counter, pulling her lock picks from her sock.

“Watch the door. I’ll get us some cookies.”

Vala picked the padlock the old couple thought would keep the kids out of the treats they horded and pulled out a fistful or Oreos before she relocked it and jumped down. “Come on.”

She lead him out the kitchen door and down behind the shed, under the fence and down the worn path through the overgrown lot to the spot where the trees started, then into the woods, until they came to a dense thicket of young trees. Just around the other side was the place she came to get away from the foster family. The tarp was tied over a bolder and when she lifted the corner, the grommet fit neatly over one of the skinny trunks, creating a tent like space inside. There were cushions and a blanket and in a hole under the rock she kept the things she didn’t want to lose to the kleptomaniacs she shared a house with.

“How’d you learn to do that…with the lock?”

“One of the boys in my last foster home. Taught me other stuff too. Stick with me, kid. I’ll teach you a few tricks.”

“Daniel.”

She frowned at him. “What?”

“My name. I’m Daniel Jackson.”

“Right. I’m Vala.”

“I know. They told me yesterday.”

She divided up the cookies and sat with her back against the rock and one of the cushions under her. “If you want to get by here, Daniel, you need to learn to move faster, and look up out of your books once in a while.” She gestured at the book he was still clinging to as if it would protect him. “What are you reading, anyway?”

“It’s a book about the first archaeological dig in Egypt.” He pushed his glasses up on his face and grinned. “It even has pictures.” He held it up to show her a faded black and white photo of three men standing beside a pyramid. “It was my father’s.

Vala licked at the white creamy filling of her cookie and raised an eyebrow at him. “So you’re a nerd by birth then?”

His smile faded and he looked away, like she’d just kicked his puppy.

“Come on, Danny boy, you can’t let words get to you like that.” She reached over and ruffled his hair. “You gotta toughen up a little bit or this world is going to eat you alive.”

“I’m not a nerd.” He still looked sullen and he wouldn’t look up at her.

“Who cares if you are.” Vala said. “Smart people always win, Daniel. Remember that. The more you know, the better your chances.”

He nodded, but didn’t really look like he believed her. “My mum always told me to read everything, question everything. ‘Vala,’ she’d say, ‘you never know what you need to know, so always learn all that you can.”

He smiled at her then. “That’s pretty smart.”

She grinned. “I’m smarter than I look. That’s how I like it. Eat your cookies.”

They sat quietly as they ate their stolen cookies. It felt oddly familiar. Comfortable even. She shook it off and leaned back against the rock. She couldn’t afford to get too comfortable. It was easier to deal with whatever came next if she didn’t settle in too much. After all, this was her third foster home since her grandfather had died when she was eleven, and she was still a few months shy of fourteen.

Daniel was a good kid though, even if he made a lousy lookout. “You know this is wrong.” Daniel hissed at her several weeks later as she worked to get the locker open.

“Will you just keep an eye on the hall?” Vala hissed back. “I already told you, it isn’t stealing. He stole it from me, I’m just getting it back.”

“You should have told the teacher.” Daniel protested.

“She would have just taken it from both of us.” Vala said, shaking her head. The locker came open and she recoiled from the smell. “Boys.” She waved a hand in front of her face before picking through the random debris of teenage boy life to find what she was looking for. “Got it.” She pulled the Swiss army knife out and shoved it into her pocket.

“Um, Vala?” Daniel’s eyes were wide as he turned to her and she looked up to see Jimmy Van Der Brok coming around the corner.

“Run, Daniel.” Vala grabbed his shoulder and pushed him away from Jimmy, running after him, laughing as they rounded the far corner and got into the crowd of students headed out to the busses. “Well, that wasn’t so bad.” Vala said as they sat together on the bus that would take them back to the foster home. It was Friday and Jimmy would be at his father’s house in the city for the weekend. By Monday the whole thing would have blown over.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Daniel asked, shaking his head as he pulled out his dusty old book.

“You love me.” Vala insisted, sitting back to watch the other kids getting on.

"Hey, Vala?" Daniel asked as the bus pulled out. "I heard Mrs. Beverly say that if you got in trouble again, she was going to ask the social worker to move you."

Vala shrugged, not all that surprised. "This is just a stop on the road, Danny."

His face was very sincere when she glanced at him. "The road to where?"

She shrugged again, her hand curling around the Swiss Army knife that had been her grandfather's. "I don't know. Home, I guess."

"I thought you didn't have a home, your parents…" He pushed his glasses up and looked away.

"I was adopted, did you know that?" Vala asked, sitting back and letting herself relax. "I don't remember much, but I know my mother loved me and I came a long way to live with the people who raised me."

"Do you think she's still out there somewhere?" Daniel asked.

"Maybe." Vala answered. "But I know what home feels like. And I'll know it when I find it."

"Don't make me do this." Vala hissed under her breath at the man beside her who responded with a hand in the small of her back, urging her forward as the door in front of her opened. Vala put on her best smile and held out her hand. "Good afternoon, I'm Vala and I'm here representing the Youth of Christ from the Frontline Baptist Church, how are you today?"

The woman looked tired, and a kid maybe five years old stuck his head between her hip and the door. "We are out this afternoon sharing the good word and taking up collections to help support our ministry." She opened the bible she was carrying and pulled out one of the pamplets, handing it across with a smile. "Do you know Jesus, ma'am?"

"We're Lutheran, but you seem like a nice young lady, hold on a minute. Roger!" She yelled back over shoulder. "Bring me my purse." A few seconds later she reached behind her and came back with a five dollar bill. "I hope it helps."

Vala smiled and took the money. "Thank you ma'am. God bless you."

She stepped off the porch and handed the money to her partner. "It's just sleazy." Vala would rather con them than this slimy religion garbage. It was cleaner somehow.

"As long as you're living with us, we do this my way."

She couldn't complain too much. As foster situations had gone, this wasn't the worst. At least the house was big and she was only sharing it with the pseudo-Pastor and his wife and one other kid. "Are we done yet?"

"One more street, then we head home. You got homework and chores."

She tugged on one pig tail, designed to make her look a lot younger than her sixteen years, then on the high collar of her dress. The house might be worth this door to door religious pitch, but the clothes made her itch.

But she had it figured out. She'd been dating a senior boy and the school year was nearly over. They planned on hitting the road, heading out to California for the summer. She was done with the whole foster thing anyway. She wasn't ever going to find what she was looking for jumping from one messy situation to another.

It was the smile. Vala just seemed to forget everything when she smiled. She laughed, her hand reaching out to catch Vala's waist, pulling her close as she bit her lip and her face flushed a delicious shade of pink. Vala glanced over her shoulder before pressing the beautiful science major into the corner of the school fence and the gym.

Vala leaned in, kissing over her lips, earning a nervous giggle. "No one's watching." Vala whispered. "And I've wanted to kiss you all day."

"Vala, I'm going to be late."

"Skip it."

"What?"

Vala pulled back and looked at her. "I mean it, Sam. Skip it. Play hooky with me. We can go to this place I know and do all manner of things your father wouldn't approve of."

She laughed and playfully pushed Vala away. "You know I can't."

"Why not? You're already going to the Air Force Academy. You're already top of your class. What can one day do to mess that up?" Vala kissed her again, licking at her lips until Sam opened her mouth and let her in, melting against Vala. "I'll even write you a note." Vala whispered in her ear. She pulled back, capturing Sam's hand and tugging lightly. "It's a beautiful day and your smile makes me want to do devious things to you."

Vala pulled and Sam came, rolling her eyes and glancing over her shoulder as if she expected to get caught. "Come on." Vala urged, moving faster now until they were nearly running, hand in hand, off the school grounds and into the trees. Vala didn't stop until they came to a grassy spot beside a deep bend in the creek where the water pooled deep enough to swim in.

"You're a bad influence." Sam said as they sat in the grass, though she was still smiling.

"You need a little bad influence." Vala teased, bumping shoulders.

"My father would kill me…"

Vala leaned in and kissed her. "He'll never know." Vala kissed her deeply, pressing her back to lay in the grass before Vala's lips roamed from her mouth and explored their way down her neck. Vala licked at her heated skin, dipping below the modest scoop neck of her shirt to caress the crease between her breasts.

"Vala." Sam breathed her name, one hand resting lightly on her hip, the other lifting to Vala's face.

Vala came back to kiss up her neck to her ear. "Do you want me to stop?" She let one hand smooth up Sam's side, lifting her shirt part way.

"No." Sam shook her head lightly, chasing after Vala's mouth for a kiss. Vala obliged, working her shirt up and exposing her bra. Vala massaged over her breasts, pinching at the nearest nipple through the silky fabric. Sam arched up some, exposing her neck. Vala took the invitation, licking and nipping at the muscle before sucking lightly at her collarbone and then nuzzling into her cleavage. At the same time, she slipped her hand down over Sam's belly and popped the button of her jeans.

Sam groaned as Vala's hand slid into her panties and down, sliding along her slit. "Naughty girl." Vala whispered over damp skin before pressing her thumb into Sam's clit.

"Vala!" Sam bit off the sound before it started to echo back to them, but as she lifted her hips, Vala inserted one slender finger into her as she began moving her thumb in tiny circles. Sam gasped, her eyes closing, her mouth open as she panted, her hips moving.

Vala licked over her lips and fucked her finger in and out in time to the movement of Sam's hips. "That's it." Vala purred in encouragement, knowing just from the way Sam's breathing hitched and sped up that she was close to coming. "Let it go."

Sam grabbed her hand, pressing down onto her and Vala felt the warm rush of her orgasm coating her finger. Sam lay back, panting. Vala pulled her hand out and sucked the finger into her mouth before she laid down beside Sam. "I do love watching you fall apart like that." Vala said softly, turning to look at her.

It hadn't been a part of the plan. She'd seen Sam first as a challenge…the hard working, dedicated girl who never looked up from her studies, brilliant and focused. Vala had wanted to break that focus, to disrupt her drive. And she wasn't ready to say that this was love or anything like it, but somewhere along the line she had taken a real liking to her, and there was no denying she was beautiful.

She was the closest thing to a friend Vala had known since Daniel Jackson and his old books and his notions of right and wrong.

"Hey."

Vala blinked and smiled at Sam. "What?"

"Where'd you go?"

Vala shook her head. "Just thinking. I'm going to miss you Samantha Carter."

Sam rolled over, frowning a little. "I don't leave for weeks."

Vala closed her eyes over tears she didn't expect. "I really like you." Which wasn't what she had meant to say at all. "That doesn't happen a lot." She opened her eyes to find Sam right there.

"I really like you too, Vala." Sam responded, kissing her lightly. "Even if you're a bad influence."

Vala pulled back and sat up, suddenly taken by the reality that Sam only liked the person she thought Vala was. "You wouldn't say that if you knew me."

Sam reached for her, but she pulled away.

"Vala…"

The truth was, Sam didn't know her at all. Vala was someone different around Sam. No, that wasn't true either, she was playing a character when she was with Sam, just as she did whenever she conned someone. Vala tried to shake it off, but Sam was concerned now, and she knew she wasn't walking away without some explanation.

Sam followed her to the edge of the water, slipping her hand into Vala's. "Hey, what's going on?"

Vala blinked back tears and shook her head, trying desperately to think of some way to guard her secrets when all she wanted to do was come clean. Sam seemed to take her silence as an answer though, pulling back. "Oh." She paced away and Vala wanted to do anything to go back to kissing her in the grass. "You're going to miss me, not because I'm going to leave for college, but because you're leaving. Now." Sam rolled her eyes and turned her back, zipping and buttoning her jeans. "That's why you were so insistent on this, on me skipping school."

Vala let a tear fall and latched onto the reason. "I don't want to." Vala said. "I have to."

Sam turned back to look at her, tears on her cheeks now. "Why. Tell me why."

Vala nodded, wrapping her arms around her stomach. "It's my brother. My foster brother." She took a deep breath and let the story unfold, hoping it would be enough. "I told you about him, remember?" Vala didn't wait to see if she responded. "I found out he's sick and he's all alone. The foster family he was with abandoned him, and they don't know if he's going to make it. I've got a ticket on a flight tonight. It was the first one I could get." She let a few more tears fall, her stomach twisting around the lie.

"Oh, Vala…I'm so sorry." Sam came to her, pulling her in and holding her. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine….I'm an idiot."

Sam kissed the tears off her face. "What can I do?"

Vala offered a weak smile. "Can we just have today? You and me and some fun?"

Sam nodded. "I think we can do that. My dad should have left on his trip by now. Let's go to my house."

Vala did her best not to give in the guilt twisting inside her, to let go of it and enjoy the day. When it was over she'd have to move on…find the next con worth spending some time on. If she thought of it like that, it almost didn't hurt. Almost.

Vala wound her way through the open air market, keeping her eyes open for anyone following her. She was pretty sure she'd gotten away clean, but she didn't want another debacle like the one in Turkey. She shifted the case in her hand as she approached a vendor selling colorful bags and backpacks. "Do you have anything less…obvious?" she asked in her best approximation of the local dialect. The man behind the wall of bags showed her a couple that she waved off before she spotted an old fashioned canvas backpack and pointed to it. She nodded when he held it up and fished money out of her pocket.

The trade made, Vala took the backpack and the case and ducked into a small café, commandeering a small table in the back. She set the case on the chair beside her and opened it carefully. There was a smaller box inside, along with the bag of stones that she'd originally been after. She moved them both to the backpack and put the empty case under the table.

She had changed clothes and donned a hat before getting to the market, now with the case gone, she should be able to evade anyone who might come looking. All she needed to do now was get back to Cairo and her planned exit from the country.

Of course, that would be easier if she hadn't lost her jeep. She sighed and nodded to the waiter, ordering a drink while she contemplated her options. She was half way through her drink when an option she hadn't even considered found her.

"Vala?" She looked up, blinking as she tried to reconcile the face in front of her with the boy she had known. "Vala Mal Doran. It is you, isn't it?"

"Daniel." She smiled and stood, letting him pull her into a hug. "It's good to see you."

"You…what are you doing here?"

"That's a long story." Vala said, gesturing for him to join her. He sat, his blue eyes sharp and curious behind his glasses. "I…I seem to have misplaced my ride back to Cairo," she offered. "We had a…disagreement. So, I'm just sitting here trying to figure out how exactly to get there. What about you? What are you doing all the way out here?"

Daniel grinned and pushed his glasses up. "I'm here on a dig, with one of my professors. We came into town for supplies." He patted the bag hanging from his shoulder before lowering it to the tile floor. "I can't believe I'd run into you here of all places."

She laughed, she had forgotten how much she liked Daniel's company. "I was thinking the same thing…but then, you always had a thing for Egypt."

"It's amazing, really." Daniel said, his eyes lighting up. "You should see it. Actually no, you'd probably find it incredibly booring."

"Why, just because I'm not a geek like you?" Vala asked with mock indignation.

Daniel laughed. "No, because there isn't any treasure. Mostly pots and household items."

"Yeah, I can see how fascinating that is." Vala said dryly.

"Well, it is." Daniel responded. "You going to tell me what you're doing in Egypt? Other than contemplating getting to Cairo?"

"Business." Vala responded. "We came to make a trade."

"We?" Daniel asked, clearly suspicious.

"Yes, me and a friend. He was the go between. I was looking to pickup an item that a friend of his was looking to get rid of. The whole thing went south when we couldn't agree on a price and he dumped me here with the clothes on my back and little else."

"So, you wanted it for free and he wasn't willing to let you steal from him." Daniel surmised. "Most people wouldn't."

"I did not want it for free." Vala said indignantly. "I was more than willing to pay him what he paid for it in the first place."

"Let me guess, he stole it?"

She shrugged. "I couldn't say. I wasn't part of that operation." She shook her head. "I was trying to get the item back to its rightful owner. There was a sizeable reward offered." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw two men in uniform enter the café. She reached across the table for Daniel's hand and leaned in as if they were having a romantic moment, her eyes skipping up to watch the men before coming back to Daniel. "Forget all of that though. I want to know all about you, what have you been up to since the last time I saw you?"

Daniel raised an eyebrow, but played along, leaning in as well. "Going to school. Getting my PhD. Digging up old things. Vala, are you in trouble?"

Her eyes flicked up to the men who were sitting at a table now. "No, I don't think so. Just being careful."

"Should we get you out of here before more of their friends come along?" He pressed his lips to her knuckles and she smiled.

"Yes, lets do that."

"You're going to owe me." Daniel said as he stood.

Vala dropped enough money to cover her drink on the table and lifted her backpack onto one shoulder, before she slipped an arm around Daniel and let his body shield her from the uniforms as they exited the café. Outside, Daniel lifted an arm in greeting to a man approaching them.

"Daniel, I thought we were going to have lunch."

Daniel licked his lips and nodded. "I know, but I ran into an old friend, if you can believe it. I was hoping to catch up with her."

The man was a good thirty years older than either of them, though not bad looking. A little pudgy around the middle but otherwise in good shape from what she could tell, with big hands that looked like they'd spent a lifetime digging in the dirt.

"I can see I would not be as lovely a meal companion as your friend."

"Vala, Vala Mal Doran." She held out her hand. "It's a pleasure."

"Ah, yes, Professor Tilman, Vala was in the same foster home I was for a little over a year."

"Well, don't let me keep you two from getting reacquainted. Just make sure there's a jeep to take me back to the site this afternoon."

"After your meeting with the museum director, I remember." Daniel said with a smile. He steered her away from the man then, out of the market into a much quieter district lined with storehouses and punctuated by intermittent houses. Daniel let go of her then, moving quickly up the street.

"Are we in a hurry?" Vala asked, speeding up to keep up with him.

"Do you or don't you want a ride back to Cairo?" Daniel asked, glancing at her.

"Well, yes. But I thought--"

"Oh, not today." Daniel said. "But some of the team is leaving at the end of the week, and new students coming in. Professor Landis will be driving out. I'm sure there's room in the jeep."

"What am I supposed to do in the meantime?" Vala asked as he pointed to a parking lot near the far entrance to the market.

"I'm sure we can come up with something." Daniel said, pulling keys out of his pocket. "Unless you want to get on a bus. There's one leaving tomorrow."

Vala didn't really want to spend most of a week in a tent in the desert, and she was about to thank him and try her luck on her own when she spotted the jeep she'd left behind with her ex-partner when she'd run. If he'd tracked her this far…."Well, I do owe you one." Vala said, climbing into the jeep beside Daniel.

Daniel started the engine and drove them out of the town, turning on the radio mounted under the dash and tuning it before they'd gotten too far out. "Lansford Dig, this Daniel Jackson, come in."

"Go ahead, Daniel."

"I need you to send another jeep up to town to get the Professor, I'm headed back a little early."

"You just made Haley's day, she wanted to go with you, but overslept."

"Glad I could make someone happy." Daniel said with a grin. "Daniel, out."

The drive out to the dig site took a few hours and Vala was over the sand and the wind in under one. Still, she smiled as she got of the jeep. "I think my ass fell asleep."

"Walk it off." Daniel replied, gesturing at a modest looking tent. He ducked inside it, and she could hear him talking. When he came back he was without the bag. "Come on." He lead her through a group of tents before ducking into one of them, holding the flap for her. "It isn't much."

She shrugged and looked around. "Better than some places I've been."

"Well, I'm not sure where you're going to sleep, but we'll work something out. In the meantime, you can stash your stuff in here."

Vala eased the backpack off her shoulder as she moved further into the tent. "Will it be safe?"

Daniel chuckled and shook his head. "Safer than that hole under the rock in your super-secret hide out."

"It befuddled those two buffoons who kept stealing your stuff." Vala countered, setting the pack down.

"Do you remember the looks on their faces when they stole the old man's girly magazines, only you had replaced the inside with the craft catalog?" Daniel laughed and surprised her by pulling her into a hug. "I never did thank you."

"Thank me?" she asked as he let go of her.

"You made that year bearable."

"Even if I dragged you into my less than honorable activities?" Vala asked.

Daniel bit his lip and moved to sit on the cot. "Even if. I was miserable before I met you. You taught me how to survive."

"That first time I saw you, I knew you were going to need all the help I could give you." Vala came and sat beside him, her hand rubbing up his arm. She was surprised when he didn't pull away. "Those glasses and that old book…I bet you still have that book too."

Daniel hung his head a little. "It's actually here." He pointed to the small table beside the bed that held a small stack of books, a magnifying glass and a bottle of water."

She reached for it, sliding it out of the stack and opening it carefully. "Haven't you proven at least half of this is wrong by now?" she asked.

"You've read it?" Daniel asked incredulously.

"Well, a girl gets bored when she's hiding from the worst hide and seek player in the universe." She ran a hand over the worn cover. "Besides, I told you what my mother taught me. Learn everything."

"Actually, a lot of it holds up. But there are some interesting new theories…and some interesting artifacts."

Vala would never really be sure what made her do it, but her hand lifted to his face, her thumb gliding over his lips before she leaned in and kissed him. His mouth was warm and slack and he huffed a little in surprise.

"Vala?"

She stood, dropping the book. "I'm sorry." She stood and took two steps away, but his hand on hers stopped her and pulled her back. "Please, don't make it worse."

He shook his head, licking his lips. "No. Just…why?"

She shrugged minutely. "I don't know."

He nodded, but didn't let go of her. Instead, he drew her closer, his hands moving to her face, his eyes closing as he kissed her gently. His tongue slid across her lips and she opened them, letting herself relax into the familiar feeling that had been building since she'd first heard his voice in the café.

It was warm and comfortable, like a favorite pair of jeans, like letting go of all the people she was supposed to be so she could just be Vala. There was no burning need to get naked, to get to the part where it felt good. Just the kissing felt good, his lips on each inch of skin as it was exposed, her breasts heavy in his hands as her bra fell from her shoulders.

Daniel's hands were calloused, but gentle on her skin, his eyes intense as they met hers, asking permission, asking if this was what she wanted, and Vala had no words to answer them, she could only respond with an offering of her own, laying back beneath him and bringing him to her, surrendering into the heat as their bodies came together.

She shivered as he entered her, tilted her head back and arched up to meet him, sighing out low and deep. In this too he was gentle, more so than any she had ever had in her bed, save maybe one. She could feel herself blushing, melting in the heat of his attention.

Her orgasm surprised her, flushing her with more heat and seeming to spur Daniel on to his own moments later. He maneuvered himself to lay behind her, both of them panting lightly, their skin slicked with sweat in the desert heat.

They were quiet a long moment, Daniel's body tight against hers, his hand on her hip. Vala felt strangely unsettled and yet safer and more protected than she'd ever been. A tear slipped past her eyelid and she moved to wipe it away. "Did I hurt you?" Daniel asked softly.

"No." Vala answered, though the question sparked more tears.

"Are you crying?"

She turned to her back so she could see his face. "Maybe a little."

"Was it that bad?" Daniel asked, pulling back a little.

She kissed him and sniffled back the tears. "No, that good." Vala whispered. "And if you ever tell anyone…"

"My lips are sealed." Daniel responded, pretending to turn a key.

Vala lifted her head to kiss him. The day had been a complete surprise, and the sun wouldn't set for hours. Daniel's hand splayed out across her belly and his kiss was deep and soft. "How long has it been since you slept?" he asked softly, his eyes meeting hers. "And I don't mean that pretend sleep you do when you're protecting something or someone. Really slept?"

Vala shook her head. Daniel's lips kissed up, over her cheekbones and pressed to her eyelids. "I've got you. You're safe here." Vala's hand tightened around his, but he just continued kissing lightly over her face. "Sleep, Vala."

She was pretty sure she meant to get up, but everything felt heavy and it wouldn't hurt…just for a little while….

The next few days were quiet, peaceful even. Vala helped catalog artifacts, which had an unusually calming affect on her. None of the items were particularly pretty or worth much, but they were ancient memories of a civilization that felt somehow familiar to her.

She took meals with the rest of the crew on the dig, sitting with Daniel, getting drawn in to their stories and lives. She could almost forget that this wasn't her life. And when Daniel's arm slipped around her and his kiss found her lips, she could almost let go of who she was away from here, away from him.

At night they shared a bed and if she was honest with herself, Vala had not had sex as satisfying since…well, since she'd lied to Sam and left her.

All too quickly, the week was over. Vala sat at the small table strewn with notes and books as she brushed out her hair. Daniel was getting undressed behind her. They hadn't said anything since leaving dinner.

"You're quiet." Daniel said as his hands slid over her shoulders, gently massaging at tight muscles.

She slid a hand up to meet his, pulling it close and kissing the palm. "I'm thinking how much I wish I wasn't leaving in the morning."

"You could stay." Daniel said, the words just hanging there between them.

She'd thought about it, more than once even. She stood, moving into his arms and letting him kiss her. "I wish I could." She said it softly, hoping that she sounded sincere. She was sincere. She would certainly rather stay and see how this played out than to go deliver the box to the man waiting in Cairo for it.

"Do you need me to ask you to?" Daniel asked.

Vala closed her eyes and sighed. This was the reason that coming here, staying with him was wrong. "I can't, Daniel." She pulled away, rubbing hands up over her face and through her hair.

"Why? What's so important?" Daniel asked, his voice tight.

She didn't want to answer that. Answering it would change everything between them. Again. Just like it had that night all those years ago when she'd made the mistake of saying goodbye to him before she ran away. "Can we not do this?" Vala asked.

"I think you owe me that much."

She nodded. He wasn't wrong. She pointed to her backpack, still sitting where she'd dropped it that first day. "There's something in that bag that I have to deliver, and I'm running out of time."

"What?"

She crossed her arms and tried to push back the emotion welling up inside her. "I don't know. A box." She shrugged.

"A box." Daniel said, narrowing his eyes at her. "What's in the box?"

"I don't know." Vala repeated. "It doesn't matter. What matters is, I need to get that box to Cairo. I need to deliver it to a very large man with a very bad temper before he decides I double crossed him and sends men to kill me." It was more than she meant to say. She dared a glance up, but then wished she hadn't. Daniel was angry, his eyes flashing.

"What are you into, Vala?"

"Nothing. Nothing. Just. It's a long story."

He nodded. "It always is."

"Daniel, please."

He shook his head. "No. Go. If you can't trust me with the truth, then I can't trust you with my…" He pressed his lips together and looked away. "You can have the bed. I've got some work to finish."

He grabbed his T-shirt and shrugged back into it before stalking out of the tent.

"Daniel!" Vala called after him, but he didn't even slow down. Vala sank back down onto the chair, blinking at the tears welling in her eyes. They fell slowly down her cheeks and she made no move to wipe them away.

She should have known better. Attachment only ever led to pain. It wasn't worth it. She needed to get past it, climb out of the soft place she'd found in his acceptance of her and get back to business. In the morning she would ride out of camp and back into her life. Where she belonged.

Daniel never came back to the tent, and Vala dozed off somewhere near dawn, waking to Hanna telling her she was going to miss her ride if she didn't get moving. Vala put her boots on and stood, glancing down at the note she'd written somewhere through the night and left on the bedside table.

It wasn't much. A promise to find him again one day and explain. A feeble attempt at soothing her own pain. She crumpled it up and threw it toward the pile of other wads of paper before grabbing her backpack and heading out to the jeep.

Daniel looked up from his breakfast, but looked away again. She wanted to wave, to say something, but before she could, the jeep was moving and her opportunity to say anything or stay behind was gone. Vala put Daniel out of her mind and turned her face forward. She had business to attend. She could play sentimental games after she'd been paid.

Professor Landis dropped Vala at the address her buyer had given her and she waved goodbye as they drove off, hitching her bag up on her shoulder before moving to knock on the door. A woman answered, her fair hair and skin marking her as a non-native to the area. "I'm here to see Aved. Tell him it's Vala."

"Come." She was led to a room that looked like the back room at a museum, with half packed crates and artefacts that just begged to be handled.

"Vala. It's about time. I was starting to think I was going to need to send some of my boys to help you find your way."

She turned, smiling. "Aved, good to see you as always." She slipped the backpack off and fished out his box. "I just got a little sidetracked, that's all. You know how it is when you're trying to lay low."

"I know you nearly got caught."

"Never. I had an exit strategy. Here." She handed him the box. "As requested, unopened, unaltered. One plain, boring box. How about my payment?"

"I'll need to validate the contents. Wait here." He stepped away, then stopped and looked at her. "And Vala, for your own good, don't touch anything."

She held up both hands and rolled her eyes, watching him leave the room. As soon as he was gone, she turned, her eyes scanning over everything, looking for something easy to pocket and not likely to be missed right away. She turned slowly, and the edge of her backpack caught on a vase. She whirled and caught it, only to back into a crate as she put the vase back. Before she could recover, a canopic jar fell to the floor, the ancient ceramic cracking open. "Shit!" She squatted down to pick up the pieces, thinking maybe she could hide it in one of the crates, but when she picked it up, there was something strange. Where the ceramic was broken, she could see some sort of metal container. "Well, that isn't normal."

Vala stood, bringing the jar up with her, her nose crinkling a little with the smell of the ancient pottery. She looked it over, turned it around, biting her lip as she tried to decide what to do with it. In the end, she decided Aved had to be hiding something of importance inside and she worked on opening it. When the seal finally gave, the jar all but leapt out of her hands and something did jump out of it.

Vala turned, trying to see what it was and more than a little concerned that something alive had been inside the jar. She tossed the jar into the nearest open crate and took a step toward the door. Out of the corner of her eye she saw movement, then something flew at her and there was a sharp pain in the back of her head, knocking her to the ground.

She grabbed at her head as something burrowed into her and she screamed as the pain intensified and it felt like something was invading her body, and not just her body. She couldn't move, couldn't think clearly. Everything went dark for a long moment, and when she could see again, she was very aware that she was no longer in control.

Aved returned to the room, his eyes wide as whatever had invaded her made her stand. "Vala?"

"Bow before your god, Qetesh."

The rebellion was bloody and swift. Vala felt the rage her captor felt, and something else besides as the palace was overrun. Fear. For the first time since the symbiote had crawled inside of her, Vala could tell she was afraid.

The Jaffa fell and Qetesh was captured by the angry people of the planet that the Goa'uld had ruled over like a tyrant. The days that followed were horrific as they tortured her, beating her with sticks and leather belts, and in the end, they planned to stone her.

She was certain that this was how she would die, lightyears from the only home she had ever known, alone and trapped inside a body she hadn't controlled in years…but then something happened. She wasn't sure what was going on. The first rock broke her leg and the second slammed into her shoulder sending her sprawling to the ground. No more rocks came though, and then there was a man talking to the symbiote, dragging her up and into a ship.''

It was days later before she finally understood, before the symbiote was gone and she was free again. Vala woke slowly, aware that she could move her own body, and that body hurt…everywhere but her right knee that was warm and tingling a little. She opened her eyes to find a man standing over her, a Goa'uld device in his hands, his focus on her knee. She had seen herself use one before, immediately understanding that he was healing her, and how to make the device work. He finished and looked up at her, smiling softly.

"I am Lustaf, of the Tok'ra. You are safe."

"Safe?" Her own voice sounded strange to her after so long of only hearing Qetesh speak when her mouth moved.

"Your wounds are healing."

She sat up, wincing as the pain registered. "Qetesh…"

He touched her arm gently. "I removed the Goa'uld. You are free." He stepped away, letting her get a look around them. They were clearly on a ship. A small cargo ship from the feel. He had made her up a bed in the cargo hold. "You must be hungry. It has been several days since I found you." He came back to her with a cup. "It isn't much, but it is nutritious.

"Where are we?" Vala asked, taking the cup.

"Still in orbit above the planet. I did not want to leave until you were awake. You should have some say in where you go from here."

She sipped at the thick broth and considered her options. "I suppose going home is out of the question."

"That depends on where home is."

She shook her head. "My world has no stargate, has no idea what is out here. Besides, when I left there…" No, by now Daniel assumed she had lied about finding him again, and there wasn't much else she had to go back to. Qetesh had always planned to go back and conquer Earth, but she hadn't built up enough of an army. Vala didn't want to be the one that introduced the Earth to the Goa'uld.

"I have nowhere to go."

Lustaf patted her knee and offered a soft smile. "I will take you to a planet where you will be able to find work, find a home."

She followed him out of the cargo hold and into the cockpit, taking the second seat. He put his hands on the console and she could feel the engines come to life. "You never did tell me your name."

His smile was soft and genuine and she pulled her knees up to her chest, cradling the cup of broth. "Vala," she answered, surprised by tears in her eyes at the sound of her own name. It had been a long, long time since she had heard it.

"Damn it."

Vala shot the last of the Jaffa that had been defending the Al'kesh, but one look at the controls was enough to tell her she was dead in the water…so to speak. Frustrated, she dropped her weapon and turned to survey what she had to work with.

It wasn't much. But she still had the Kull warrior suit she'd used to take the Jaffa by surprise. All she had to do was wait for an unsuspecting ship to come by and then she could take that ship to trade. She never should have told the Lucian Alliance she could get them a ship.

Sure, it had gotten her out of a tight spot at the time, but here she was with the deadline approaching and she had nothing to show for it. Huffing out a sigh, Vala turned to the console to record a distress call that would hopefully pull in a ship big enough to satisfy the arrangement she had made.

It took several hours, but she could have been sitting out there for days. She heard the call in answer to her distress call and suited up, keeping an eye on the sensors. The ship was bigger than the Al'kesh, more than big enough to satisfy her terms with the Lucian Alliance, which would net her a nice crate of weapon grade naquada, which in turn would trade nicely for almost anything she could want.

She waited impatiently for the approaching ship to get close enough to try to board. She watched the rings activate from the safety of a hidden compartment, and once the men who had ringed aboard had dispersed to search the ship, she moved in, activating the rings and sending herself onto the new ship.

She used a Zat'nik'tel, quickly stunning anyone and everyone she saw. It wasn't until she'd dragged a group of unconscious people into the rings that she realized that she was on a ship from Earth. Of course, in her time since Qetesh had been pulled from her she'd learned that Earth had found their Stargate and ventured out into the universe, but until that moment she'd only vaguely believed.

Vala made her way through the ship, stunning anyone she found and sending them down to the Al'Kesh. The ship was bigger than she'd expected from her initial readings. She cleared the ship and made her way to the bridge to start trying to figure out how to use it.

She got the sublight engines working and turned her attention to getting the hyperdrive to come online. Her first indication she had that she wasn't alone on the ship came as a jolt of energy hit her in the back. Thankfully, the suit dispersed the energy and she turned. A second bolt hit her square in the chest and she raised her arm to fire.

"Oh, crap." He went down before his identity had even registered.

"Daniel?" Vala frowned under the helmet. How could that even be possible. When she'd last been on Earth, Daniel was an archeology student. What was an archeologist doing on a ship in space. Then again, he'd been obsessed with ancient Egypt, which she now knew had included Goa'uld. It was conceivable that he'd somehow stumbled across something, maybe even the Stargate.

That still didn't explain how he was on her ship.

Vala dragged him to the command chair and got him into it, then set about finding something to restrain him with. It complicated things. Him being there. But then again, it might work to her advantage. If she played it right. But that meant playing Daniel.

She had time to figure it out. He'd be unconscious for a while. It was possible she could figure everything out she needed to and then she could just drop him off somewhere. No harm, no foul. He'd never have to know.

Except, the more she worked at getting what she wanted from the ship, the more frustrated she became.

"Hey, how's it going?" She didn't turn right away, still uncertain how to play this. "Guess it's just you and me, huh?" Daniel sounded stressed, of course, the suit did that. It was why she had the suit in the first place. "It's a little strange, isn't it? See, that weapon I shot you with should have killed you. What's even stranger is, you guys don't usually take prisoners either. I mean it's kind of kill first and.... No, that's generally just about it. Just the killing."

Vala smiled behind the helmet, reminded again how much she had enjoyed Daniel's company, his way of looking at things. She kind of expected more fear, but Daniel seemed determined to keep up the attempt to communicate.

"I'm just going to keep talking to myself here for a while, cause you're not gonna talk to me….not that you guys are very talkative, but, uh…"

Vala turned then. She knew how to make him uncomfortable, even if he wasn't afraid. "You may prove useful," she said.

Daniel looked a little shocked as he murmured under his breath, but he wasn't giving up. "Where's everybody else?"

"I transported them onto the Al'kesh."

"Well, you kept the wrong guy, because I don't know anything about the ship."

Vala moved toward him slowly. "But you are very attractive." That seemed to have stunned him some.

Daniel coughed and closed his eyes as she came even closer. "What?" Vala stepped up onto the platform and Daniel pulled on the zip ties holding him to the chair, pulling away from her. "Hey, hey, I'm flattered, really I am…it's just that…ah…you're not my type…ah…and I'm more than a little disturbed that I might be yours…"

Vala leaned forward and started to remove the helmet, which only made Daniel pull away harder, his head turning away and his eyes closed. "No, no, you don't have to do that…"

She shook her hair back and waited for him to open his eyes, and when he did, she smiled at him. "Hello Daniel."

He blinked at her in apparent disbelief. "Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you."

His eyes narrowed and closed, then opened again. "Vala?"

"More or less." She smiled again, but he wasn't so happy to see her.

"What the hell…how…"

"We'll have time for that later." Vala said, turning to start pulling off the armor. "I wish to send a long range message, using the communications systems."

"Sorry, don't have a clue."

She raised an eyebrow. "You're lying."

Daniel raised his own eyebrow. "You would know about lying, wouldn't you? You do it so well."

Vala slapped him before she could think better of it and Daniel yelled in surprise. "Ow!"

"Shall I kiss it better?" Vala asked, annoyed with him being there, with him judging her when she clearly had the upper hand.

"Just don't do it again. Hey look, even if I knew what it is you wanted me to do, what makes you think I'd tell you? How the hell do you think you can steal a ship when you don't know how it works?"

"I got the sublight engines going." Vala said.

"Yeah, so you did" Daniel said dryly. "How are you here?"

Vala turned to look at him, narrowing her eyes. "So, you're not going to tell me?"

"Tell you what? What is it you think I know?"

She moved to the seat next to his and sat down. "Okay, the short version…after I left you in Egypt, I ran into a Goa'uld symbiote who decided to come live in my head. She had a hidden ship, we flew away."

"You're a Goa'uld?"

Vala shook her head, looking at the console in front of her. "No, not anymore."

"What? How?"

"I don't have time for this."

"Vala, you can't just take this ship. We were on our way to rescue friends--"

"Oh, I really don't care." Vala said, focusing now on finding the communications system.

"Look, this really isn't necessary—"

"No, Daniel? If I'd just asked for the ship you would have handed it over?"

"Well, no."

"So I took it." She brought her hand down on the console and it beeped, a message on the screen telling her that the communications system was active. "Oh. Here we go. Tenat of Oran. Tenat, this is Vala, if you can hear me, please respond. I've managed to procure a vessel, bigger and better than what I hoped for. Tenat, if you get this message, I apologize for the delay and will meet at the designated coordinates in one day. Vala out."

She turned to look at Daniel. He was still confused and angry. Keeping him tied up wasn't helping. But if she let him go, he'd stop her and that would be bad. "You have no reason to believe me." Vala said, getting up. "And I'm sorry it has to be this way, but I need this ship. If I don't deliver it, the Lucian Alliance will kill me."

"If I get out of these zip ties, I may do it for them." Daniel growled.

"I'm going to go see about getting the hyperdrive working. You just sit tight. I'll be back."

It took some doing, but with the knowledge left behind by the Goa'uld, Vala managed to get around the hyperdrive command code and reprogram it so that no matter what happened, only she could control the hyperdrive. "Much better."

"Lose the weapon. Move away from the console."

Vala lifted both hands and turned. Daniel had gotten loose and was holding a Zat gun on her.

"I liked you better tied up."

"Yeah, well, I liked you better when you weren't stealing from me." Daniel responded. "Against the wall. Lose the weapon."

Vala pulled the Kull warrior's weapon from her hand and peeled the glove off. "What are you going to do with me?"

"I should zat you and put you in the brig." Daniel said, moving over to the console and entering the command code. "What's going on?" Daniel asked when the code was rejected.

"I rewrote the access codes, so I'm the only one who can use the navigation systems."

Daniel lifted his gun a little higher. "Undo it." He frowned as the console started beeping, leaning closer.

"What is it?"

Daniel frowned harder. "A ship just appeared on our radar. It's an Al'kesh."

"This quadrant is crawling with Goa'uld vessels. Chances are it's not your friends. That ship was fully disabled when you showed up." The chances were good that the approaching ship was Lucian Alliance or some other half-baked coalition of mercenaries and power-mongering assholes that would shoot first and never really worry about asking questions. "Daniel we have to raise shields and arm weapons."

"I'm going to hail them first."

She was pretty sure he wouldn't kill her, but there was no telling if he'd hit her with the zat or not. As he moved, she kicked, sending the gun skittering away. Vala took a swing, not really wanting to hurt him, but she needed to get the upper hand. He stumbled back and she moved in to hit him again, only this time he was ready for her and blocked it, hitting her in the nose with his elbow. "Ow. You hit me!" The Daniel she had known all those years before never would have hit her.

"Yeah, well, you hit me." Daniel looked confused, but wary.

"You know, we could just have sex instead." Vala offered. He shook his head.

"Been there, done that. Was a mistake the first time around. I don't like to repeat mistakes."

"A mistake?" Vala was genuinely appalled. "Daniel, you know I never meant to…"

"What, to make me believe you had changed? That you cared about anyone other than yourself? Don't try it Vala. I'm not buying it this time around."

"Fine. Have it your way, but I genuinely need to deliver this ship."

"Over my dead body." Daniel said.

She took a swing, but missed and by the time she had turned around, Daniel had the zat leveled at her. "Daniel--"

"Fix whatever you did to the hyperdrive."

Vala crossed her arms. "No."

"Fix it now."

"Make me."

"Dr. Jackson, this is Hammond, do you read?"

Daniel smiled. "So much for that ship not being my friends. Good night Vala."

She gasped as the zat blast hit her, crumpling to the floor as unconsciousness fell.

They weren't moving when she came to, probably still sorting through the mess she'd made of the navigation system. Vala stretched and stood, looking around the small room, clearly their on board prison cell.

There was a camera in the corner. Vala looked up into it, then looked away.

She needed to get away, before they moved too far from the Al'kesh. If she could just get to the rings…the ship shuddered, then did it again.

Outside her door sirens were going off and she could hear people moving. "Daniel! Daniel, let me out. I'll fix the hyperdrive." Vala called out. For a long moment nothing happened, then Daniel was there, the zat in his hand.

"Go."

He prodded her out and herded her toward engineering. The ship lurched under their feet as they ran. Vala pushed the tech out of the way and entered the series of commands that would return the hyperdrive systems to their defaults, as they had been before she'd rewritten the codes.

"There."

Daniel looked at the tech who nodded. "Give me a few minutes to reinitialize."

"Daniel--"

He pressed a finger to her lips and then shoved her toward the door. The ship lurched again under enemy fire and she took the opportunity to push Daniel backwards and make a run for the rings. She almost didn't expect to reach them, but Daniel didn't catch up before she'd activated them and jumped into the center. She saw him at the door as the rings activated and offered him a smile, actually sorry that she was once again running away from him.

The First Position, SG1/SGA, NC17

2015-12-19T17:30:24Z

Fandom:Stargate SG1/Atlantis
Prompt:Slave: John Sheppard, Prompt: on his knees, head bowed, wrists crossed behind his back
Title:The First Position
Author:Phantisma
Artist: siennavie
Characters/Pairings: Daniel Jackson/Cameron Mitchell, Daniel Jackson/John Sheppard, John Sheppard/Cameron Mitchell
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Slave Exchange entry, BDSM, Master/slave, restraints, mention of use of paddles,
Summary: When Colonel John Sheppard returns to Earth for a week's leave, he's hoping to rekindle an off again/off again thing he's had in the past, only to find that Cameron Mitchell has found himself a more permanent relationship, and Daniel Jackson has a few rules about sharing his pet. Intrigued, aroused and a little nervous, John decides to play along, and finds himself in the First Position more than once before he's due to head home.

John Sheppard stepped through the gate and onto the ramp at the SGC, leaving Atlantis and all of its headaches behind him for a couple of weeks of much needed leave. He had some personnel stuff to deal with at the base, then he planned on looking up Cameron Mitchell and spending some quality time with some beer and football games he hadn't already watched twice.

He stopped at the end of the ramp to salute General Landry. "Doctor Weir sends her regards, and a bunch of reports." He held up the thumb drive.

Landry took it with a smile. "I've got everything you need set up in a conference room, Colonel."

"Thank you, sir. I already have a short list in mind. I should have all of the candidates on your desk before the day is out."

"In a hurry, Colonel?" Landry asked with a chuckle. "Been a while since you've used any leave?"

"Yeah, and I have two weeks before Daedalus leaves for Atlantis. I plan to get as much R&R time as I can."

"Well, don't let me keep you then. Walter can show you to your files."

"Thank you sir." John nodded to Walter and followed him from the gate room and up into a conference room with stacks of personnel folders. He put his duffle bag on the floor and dove into the files, sorting them quickly. He'd had digital versions already, and it was a matter of sorting through the final candidates to make the decisions. Elizabeth had voiced her opinions, and Rodney his, so all that was left was for him to take the short list and shorten it to four names.

He'd managed to get the choices down to ten before there was a knock on the door and he looked up to find Colonel Mitchell grinning at him, though he was covered in mud from the waist down. "Hey, little birdie told me you came through today."

John smiled and sat back in his chair. "You just getting back from a mission?'

Cameron looked down at himself and nodded. "Yeah, long story. I'd love to catch up later, but I need to hit the showers and debrief with Landry and the team."

"Maybe dinner?" John asked, smirking a little. The look on Cameron's face was odd though and pushed John's thoughts about what could follow dinner to the side a bit.

"Yeah, maybe. I need to…"

"What, check your calendar?" John asked.

Cameron rolled his eyes. "Not exactly, but let me get back to you on the dinner idea."

John watched him leave, frowning to himself. Normally, Cameron was a lot easier to read, and usually way ahead of John on the curve to the place where they found themselves naked and sweaty and sated. It wasn't really a relationship, not with their lives and the military's hang ups.

It was friends with benefits, more or less. There weren't any commitments, just mutual enjoyment. And it usually didn't take much to invoke those benefits.

John shook his head and refocused on the task at hand. The sooner he finished, the sooner he'd get to start his vacation.

It was nearly three hours later before he was happy with his choices and left them for General Landry to make the notifications and turned his attention to finding Cameron. He didn't have to look too hard, as he came around the corner from Landry's office and Cameron and Daniel Jackson were coming toward him.

"Colonel Sheppard, Cam said you were here." Daniel said with a smile. "It's good to see you again."

"Doctor Jackson, you too. I'm looking forward to a quiet couple of weeks."

"Well, good luck with that." Daniel said. "So, I will head down to Sam's lab and see how it's coming."

Cameron nodded, turning his head to watch Daniel walk away before looking at John again. "I was headed to the gym."

John raised an eyebrow. "If it's a workout you're looking for, I can think of better places."

Cameron licked his lips and looked a little pink. "I'm actually looking for Lieutenant Jacobs, and I was told she was working with her physical therapist in the gym."

"Oh, well, in that case…" John fell into step beside Cameron. "So, I was thinking we could stop at that steak place you told me about for dinner and grab some beer on the way back to your place."

"You were thinking, huh?" Cameron asked.

John shifted just enough that their shoulders rubbed together. Cameron responded by stepping a little to the right. "Yeah, you know…I was hoping we could maybe hang out…together."

"Tonight might not work for me." Cameron said, opening the door into the gym. John stopped inside the door as Cameron crossed the room to where a young woman in sweats and a t-shirt moved slowly down a bar mounted on the wall. He wasn't sure exactly what he was reading from Cameron, but it didn't seem normal. John watched him talking to the Lieutenant and her therapist, trying to place what was going on.

Usually Cameron was the first one shooting out innuendo and steering them to some alone time. This time, he seemed to be actively steering them away from time alone. Cameron smiled at him and John felt the heat pooling in his stomach. He had been thinking about Cameron and getting laid for most of the week.

Cameron came toward him, still smiling. "Come on, I've got something for you in my office."

That at least sounded more promising. John fell into step beside Cameron again, trying to keep his mind off the idea of kissing him right there in the hallway. That would be a bad thing for both of them.

Instead, he waited until they'd reached the relative safety of the small office, stepping in behind Cameron and shutting the door. John reached for him, pulling him in close enough to kiss, pressing against him as their lips touched.

For a moment, Cameron was kissing him back, and John's cock hardened against Cameron's leg. Then, Cameron was pushing him away, slipping out from between John and the door and holding up a hand. "Are you crazy?" Cameron asked, shaking his head. His face was pink and moving toward red.

John frowned, his hands on his hips. "I'm confused." John admitted.

Cameron sort of smiled and stepped behind his desk. "We're on base." Cameron said finally as he opened a drawer and brought out a bottle.

John was still confused. They'd kissed before on base, as long as no one could see them. "There are rules." Cameron said, though his face blushed more fiercely. "I …when I said I had something for you, I meant this." He held up the bottle. "I’m sorry if you thought I meant more."

John scratched at his head. "No, I just…has something changed since I was home last?"

Cameron sat in the chair and rubbed a hand over his face. "Yeah, sort of. Just…" He rolled his eyes. "I'm kind of…with someone."

"Kind of?" John asked, leaning against the door.

"Yeah. It's…complicated."

John could feel himself frowning and tried to stop. "Okay. You could have just said…"

"I know. I'm sorry. Look, I just need to…talk to someone. Why don't you get on out of here. I'll text you."

"I guess I need to see about getting a room somewhere." John said, his mind scrambling over what he knew of Colorado Springs.

"Aw, hell. You were thinking you'd be staying at my place." Cameron stood, obviously upset to disappoint him. "Look, here…" He dug in his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. "Go ahead, get settled in. I'll make…arrangements."

John took the keys, his eyes narrowing. "You sure?"

Cameron nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure."

There was a quick knock on the door and John jumped away as the door moved. Daniel poked his head inside, his eyes darting to John, then Cameron. "Hey, Dr. Lam wants to see us. Everything okay?"

Cam nodded. "Yeah, I was just giving John my house keys. He'll be using my apartment while he's here.'

Daniel's eyebrow lifted and his mouth sort of twitched. "Is he? I didn't know that."

"Well, yeah. He needs a place, I'm almost never there." Cameron looked a little nervous now. "What does Lam need?"

Daniel moved back into the hallway and shook his head. "I don't know. Something about blood tests being screwed up."

Cameron sighed and followed Daniel, turning back to lift a hand in farewell.

Obviously, there was more to Cameron's new relationship than just some new guy…or girl for that matter. John looked down at the keys in his hand and shrugged. Maybe he'd find out more somewhere more personal.

The apartment was small and sparse, obviously the home of a military man who was seldom around. There was little in the way of permanent marks of Cameron Mitchell. A picture from his flyboy days on his dresser, one of his parents on the entertainment center.

Nothing to give John even a clue about who this mystery relationship was with. Though, if he thought about Daniel's reaction to the revelation that he'd be staying with Cam…No. John shook his head. Cameron would know better than to get involved with a team mate…and he was pretty sure that Daniel had been married before.

Of course, that didn't always matter, and John probably should learn to mind his own business. It wasn't like there weren't a dozen bars between the base and this apartment where he could get any amount of sex he wanted. He'd just put Cameron out of his mind and focus on other pursuits.

The phone rang and John jumped, chiding himself. The message machine came on. "Hey, John, it's Cam. I…it's a little late now for dinner. How about drinks? There's a bar a few blocks away called the Rovin' Robin. Half hour."

It wasn't too late, barely eight pm, but John wasn't going to turn down drinks. He grabbed a quick shower and dressed in jeans and a t-shirt before calling a cab. He'd be a little late, but he felt better for the shower.

The bar wasn't hard to find, in fact he could have walked the distance. He glanced at his watch as he walked in. It wasn't too bad, maybe forty minutes at the outside. He glanced around the bar, his eyes coming to stop on a rather nice looking ass, topped by broad shoulders and… He shook his head as Daniel Jackson turned to look at him, his smile mischievous.

Daniel approached with two beers in his hand, his smile turning a little strange as he handed one to John. "Not what you were expecting?"

John licked his lips and took the beer. "I thought I was meeting Mitchell."

Daniel nodded and gestured toward a table in the corner. "He's…a little tied up. I didn't want you to wait alone."

John sat, his back to the corner and Daniel took the seat opposite, his eyes trained on John's face. They were quiet until John was starting to feel uncomfortable and shifted. Daniel dropped his gaze and lifted his beer. "So, are you comfortable at Mitchell's place?"

"Uh, yeah. It's fine." John said, trying to place why he was feeling off his game and why Daniel was so… "I'm sorry, what?" John asked as he realized Daniel had asked him something.

Daniel chuckled. "I said, you seem a little tense. Anything wrong?"

John shook his head, trying to shake off the feeling. "No, just…not used to not being on call."

Daniel nodded as if he could understand that. "I suppose on Atlantis, even when you're off duty, you're still on. Must be exhausting."

"It is." John agreed, sipping at his beer.

"All of that being in command." Daniel's eyes narrowed. "Don't you ever wish you could just stop being the one in charge for a while?"

John forced himself to relax, sitting back against the chair. He sort of shrugged. "There are times…but ultimately, it's who I am." He took a drink and looked around them. "Mitchell isn't coming, is he?" John said, more a statement than a question.

Daniel's eyes returned to his, hot and intense and pinning him to his seat. "No, he isn't."

"So…this is…"

Daniel's mouth twitched up in one corner, not really a smile, but certainly amused. "Let's just call it an interview."

"An interview?" John repeated, his mouth dry.

"I'm sure by now you've sorted it out, why you're not already in his bed."

John blinked at the forthrightness of the statement. He was used to doing this in code when they were in public, the dance of protecting their careers. He swallowed. "I take it that you and he…."

Daniel's eyebrow went up. "Yes. We have what you would call a serious relationship. And I take it very seriously."

"Then why am I here?" John asked.

"Cameron has been a very good boy of late, and I like to reward him when he's good." Daniel said…just like that, as if he were talking about a pet or a child.

"I…I'm sorry, what?" John asked, leaning toward the table between them, his heart suddenly beating louder in his chest.

"I think you heard me just fine." Daniel said. "I know that you two used to fuck around."

John swallowed hard. "Yeah, so…I'm not going to…" Daniel's look stopped him cold.

"He seems to think you want to." Daniel sat back, lifting his beer bottle as if this was just a casual conversation. John could feel his eyes as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Do you?" Daniel asked, his blue eyes once again pinning John to his seat.

"Do I…Do I what?"

"Do you want to fuck my boy?" Daniel asked, leaning across the table now, his face only centimeters from John's. "He told me what he likes…how he likes the way you suck his cock, when you get down on your knees and lick his balls and your tongue slides up his cock just before you open your mouth."

John's body was thrumming, his heart racing and his face warm. His cock was half hard in his jeans. His mouth was dry and he couldn't swallow. Daniel's lips turned up at the corners. "That's what I thought."

He sat back slowly, freeing John from his sudden paralysis. "I'm not sure I understand what is going on." John said once he'd taken a drink of his beer to wet his mouth again.

Daniel inhaled slowly and let it out just as slowly. "There are rules, John. I came here tonight to see if you were willing to play by the rules or not."

"Rules." John said the word, testing the sound against the situation. "I'm not the best guy with rules sometimes." He dropped a hand to his lap, pressing down on his ever hardening cock. This wasn't something he needed his little brain leading the way on.

Daniel nodded. "I know. Trust me when I say that disobedience to my rules brings swift and painful punishment."

And that right there should not be what makes his cock ready to go, but there it was, pressed against his leg, hard and hot and it wouldn't take much to put him over the edge.

"Right now, Cameron is at my house, naked, bound. His ass is hot and red from his punishment and he is waiting for me."

It was clear Daniel was well aware of how his words were affecting him. "Wait, I thought you said he'd been good." John blurted out, suddenly remembering.

Daniel finished his beer and put the bottle down. "He has been, until today. He broke the rules for you. I understand why, so I'm not going to hold it against him. He's been paddled to remind him of the rules and when I leave here, I'm going to have him suck my cock to show him that I've forgiven him." Daniel stood and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. He put it on the middle of the table. "These are the rules. If you can handle them and you still want to fuck my boy, be at my house by eleven. Keep that cock hard for me. Address is on the back."

Daniel walked away, leaving John sitting there with a hard dick and half a beer and a face he was sure was as red as a tomato judging by the heat in his skin. He drank half the remaining beer down in a single swallow and put the bottle down, his eyes never leaving the piece of paper.

Slowly, one hand snaked out and pulled the paper toward him. He unfolded it and smoothed it out, staring at the stark black lines.

1. You will obey me.
2. You will speak of this to no one.
3. You will never touch, kiss, or fuck anyone without permission.
4. You will belong to me.
5. You will offer your body for my pleasure.

John crumpled the paper in his fist and drained his beer. His face burned and his cock ached and he was pretty sure that he shouldn't be turned on like this. His head was full of images, of Cameron on his knees, Daniel using a paddle on Cameron's ass, then it wasn't Cameron at all and that just made his face burn all the more.

He stood and shoved the paper into his pocket, headed for the bar. He ordered a shot of tequila and tipped it back as soon as it was put down in front of him. He was crazy. This was not what he had in mind when he decided to take his shore leave on Earth. He downed a second shot, then dropped a twenty on the bar and headed for the door.

The night air was cool on his face, offering a little respite from the heat. He started to walk back to Cameron's place, but at the corner he found himself stopping, pulling the paper out of his pocket, reading and re-reading the words.

It was crazy.

He checked his watch. He had almost an hour.

He shook his head. Not that he was thinking…except that he was thinking…He turned the paper over, his eyes glancing over the address.

It was crazy.

Or maybe he was.

He couldn't think past the images Daniel's words had implanted into his brain. And damn, but he was horny now. He shook his head to clear it, but it only made the noise in his head louder. At the bar just ahead of him, there was a cab dropping off a couple of women. John jogged up as they closed their door, ignoring their smiles to lean in to the driver. "Hey, you able to take a fare?"

The man nodded, so John got in, gave him the address and sat back in the back seat, his eyes closed, trying very hard not to think about what he was about to do.

Daniel wasn't convinced Sheppard would show up, but he prepped for it anyway. He checked in on Cameron, made sure he was comfortable, well as comfortable as he could be in his position, then went to his bedroom. He stripped down to just his jeans, curling his toes in the carpet before he stood.

He was taking a risk, not nearly as big as the one that had brought about the relationship he shared with Cameron, but big enough. Cam trusted John enough to believe that if he didn't show up, he wouldn't turn them in either.

Daniel padded out to the living room and settled down with a translation he'd been working on to wait. He heard the car and waited. It was nearly fifteen minutes before he saw shadows moving through the front window. He waited a little longer, not moving from his chair until he heard footsteps on the stairs.

He moved to the door, hand on the knob. There was no knock, but after a moment, he opened it. Sheppard stood there, his face pink, his hands in fists at his side. He looked startled. "I…" He shook his head then and Daniel smiled, stepping back and opening the way for him to step inside.

He hesitated, his eyes dropping before he stepped in and past Daniel, coming to an awkward stop in the living room. Daniel closed the door and locked it, then stepped around John, trying to find the right balance between putting him at ease and keeping the upper hand.

"I wasn't sure you'd come." Daniel said softly, standing in front of John with his hands in his pockets.

John looked up at him, then away. "Neither was I."

Daniel reached out a hand and rubbed down John's arm. "Nothing is going to happen if you don't want it to, John. You're free to walk out that door."

He nodded once, tightly. Daniel walked a few steps away. "Cameron is waiting for us." He saw the little movement, John's hand moving for his groin, then stopping. "But before we can go to him, we need to establish a few things."

"Your rules?" John asked, looking up finally. There was just a hint of defiance in his eyes and that was when Daniel knew he had him.

"The rules are only part of the equation." Daniel said, turning to face him again. "They form the basis upon which we can work."

"Like I said before, I'm not so good at rules."

Daniel nodded. "Neither was Cameron. You learn." He stepped closer, keeping eye contact. "The first rule is you will obey me. Can you promise me that you will try to do that?"

John's eyebrow lifted and he crossed his arms. More defiance, but Daniel could still see the outline of his cock in his jeans. "What happens if I don't?"

Daniel shrugged a little. "That depends on whether any other rules are broken, and what you chose to disobey. At minimum, physical punishment or denial of pleasure. At worst, I cut you loose."

"Physical punishment?"

He watched the tightness in John's lips, the shift of his posture. Daniel slid his hands back into his pockets, nodding slowly. "Restraints and use of an impact tool to correct your behavior. Enough to hurt and possibly as far as raising welts, but nothing that will be visible when our time is over."

John looked at him for a long time and then nodded tightly. "The second rule is obvious."

Daniel smiled. "It protects all of us."

"And the rest? Are we talking while I'm here or…"

Daniel stepped a little closer. They were past the hard part and whether or not he was fully aware of it, John Sheppard had already made the decision to go through with it, if only out of lust and curiosity. Daniel met John's eyes, smiled. "How about we start with tonight?" Daniel asked, watching John relax just a little. "We can talk about the rest later."

"Okay."

Daniel slid one hand up to cup John's face just before he leaned in and kissed him. John was tense, but he softened as Daniel ran his tongue across his lips, opening slightly. Daniel didn't give him a chance to change his mind, pushing his tongue in past those lips and sliding it along John's tongue. "We'll start easy." Daniel said in all but a whisper as he ended the kiss. "Take off your clothes."

He walked away, toward his chair, giving John a moment to gather himself and obey. When he glanced back, John was half turned away, fumbling with buttons. Daniel chose to let him continue at his own pace, picking up the book he'd been using for reference and making it seem he was lost in reading.

It took John a bit to actually finish. He folded his clothes and put them on the coffee table, then didn't seem to know what to do with himself. Daniel closed the book and turned to look at him. He was all lean muscle under pale white skin, all but his cock which was flushed and standing proudly away from his body, curving slightly upward.

Daniel licked his lips, setting the book down and crossing back to John. He circled around him without touching, his eyes scanning every inch of him. The milk white skin of his ass begged to be made red, but Daniel kept his hands to himself, finishing his circle so that he was standing directly in front of John again.

He lifted his hand to John's cock, taking him firmly in hand. John twitched, but didn't pull away. Daniel stroked him slowly. "Good boy." Daniel murmured. John's eyes dropped, his face pinking up a little. "You're not the only one with rules." Daniel said softly. "I have them too. I will never hurt you beyond what also gives you pleasure." He pulled a little harder, watching John's eyes close. "I will never take my pleasure at the expense of yours. I will never violate the trust you put in me."

Daniel stopped stroking him, holding his cock tightly until John opened his eyes. "I will never ask more of you than you can freely give." Daniel stroked him several times before he leaned in and kissed him again. John's cock was starting to leak pre-come as Daniel pulled his hand away.

He stepped to the side and let one hand slide up John's torso to his shoulder, exerting a little pressure as he said, "Kneel."

John hesitated slightly, but went down willingly enough. "Good. Now, cross your ankles and spread your knees." Daniel moved around him, adjusting his knees so that they were shoulder width apart. He nodded with a smile. "Good. Now, your arms behind your back." Daniel moved behind John, his hands sliding down John's arm and positioning them so that his forearms were together and his hands could grasp just inside the elbows. "Very good." Daniel petted over John's head as he moved back in front of him. "And head bowed."

John raised an eyebrow, but lowered his head.

"This is the first position. It is a symbol of your submission." Daniel said, watching John twitch with the word. "It tells me that you are ready to obey. We never begin until you give me this." Daniel cupped a hand to his face, turning it up again. He let a thumb rub over John's lips, remembering Cameron telling him about John's ability to suck cock. Cameron was good at describing the action, good enough that Daniel had been hard and aching by the time he was finished.

Daniel unzipped and unbuttoned his jeans, easing his half hard cock out. "Now then, why don't you show me these skills Cameron has told me about."

John licked his lips and shifted slightly, leaning forward to nuzzle along the length of Daniel's cock. His breath was warm as he kissed along the base, moving to the other side before his tongue touched skin. Tiny little licks, just the tip of his tongue, working his way up the side to the tip. Daniel's cock responded by growing harder, even as John licked over the tip, around it and took the end in his mouth to suck lightly. Just as Daniel was getting ready to push his cock in deeper, John moved, returning to the other side and licking his way back to the tip.

Once more over the head and around it and John dipped his head, leaning further to lick at Daniel's balls, nuzzling into them and then licking one long line up the underside.

He certainly knew what he was doing. Daniel was close to wanting to grab the man by his hair and fucking his face until he came, but he held himself in check, let John continue, his mouth hot and wet as it closed around Daniel's cock and he began moving up and down it, starting slowly, but building momentum.

Daniel rocked his hips in rhythm, pushing just a little deeper with each thrust, watching John adjust, feeling when his cock slipped deep enough to hit his gag reflex. He was impressed when John didn't immediately pull away. He stepped back, one hand dropping to cradle his cock. "Good boy." Daniel said as John looked up in surprise.

"Now you." Daniel said, nodding at John's leaking cock.

He looked confused until Daniel sat on the end of the coffee table and stroked his own cock. "I want you to come for me, John."

John's face was pink as he moved his hands around and circled one around his cock. His hand moved upward and at the tip, he went over, gathering the pre-come on his palm and smearing it down the length. His eyes were on Daniel for the first few strokes, then closed as his hand sped up and his skin flushed. He grunted, his knees moving closer together as his orgasm started, come arcing up onto his chest as his up stroke pulled his cock closer to himself.

He was panting lightly as he finished, and Daniel had to squeeze his own cock to keep from following him with his own orgasm. John's chest was flushed pink, making the come that painted him stand out. "Beautiful." Daniel said softly. He caressed John's face. John looked up at him, then at his cock, but Daniel shook his head. "Not yet." He leaned down and kissed him. "I plan to fuck you with it before the night is over."

He stood and offered John a hand. "Shall we go see how Cameron is doing?" He helped John up, then led the way to the hallway and the door that led to the basement. He didn't look to see if John was following, flicking on the light and descending the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs, the basement looked like most basements, storage and his laundry equipment, but there was a wall that cut the basement in half and hid their play room.

Daniel smiled to himself as he opened the door to that room. Cameron's head came up, drool escaping around the ball gag in his mouth, his eyes expressing his relief to see Daniel, then the lust as John entered the room behind him.

Daniel paused to let the effect sink in on John.

Cameron was near the center of the room, his hands held in leather cuffs behind his back, the cuffs linked to the chain that descended from the rafters, pulling his hands up and forcing him to bend forward slightly. His ankles were cuffed as well, at the end of a spreader bar that forced his legs just past shoulder width apart. His ass and upper thighs were still pink from his earlier paddling.

John stopped just inside the door, his eyes raking over Cameron, his mouth open, and his cock semi hard already.

Daniel stepped onto the two inch thick foam padding that covered the majority of the room, snapping his fingers at John to get his attention. He pointed to a spot just in front of Cameron. "First position."

John blinked at him for a minute, then knelt while Daniel turned his attention to Cameron.

Daniel stepped to Cameron's side, running a hand appreciatively along the tense lines of his body. The skin of his ass was only slightly warm, the pink fading quickly now. Daniel rubbed over it, caressing softly before he pulled back and brought his hand down hard. Cameron jumped and yelled around the gag. Daniel didn't give him recovery time, slapping the other cheek just as hard.

He spared a glance for John, confirming his suspicion that the spanking would turn him on. John was a lot like Cameron in a few areas. Daniel suppressed the smile and went back to caressing over Cameron's body, his hand squeezing the skin to bring the blood back up before his hand slid between Cameron's legs to his balls and cock.

He released the cage that had held Cameron limp for the last hour or so and tossed it off toward the wall behind them. It didn't take much to bring his cock to full hardness. "Good boy." Daniel stepped back for the controls to the chain, loosening it up just a little, affording Cameron the opportunity to straighten up just a bit.

He caressed up Cameron's back, kissed up his neck. "I brought you a present. Maybe I should let him suck your cock. Would you like that?" Daniel asked in Cameron's ear. "He's already sucked mine. Look at him, Cameron. Such a good boy already. You know what he really wants though? He wants me to let him fuck you. Maybe I will."

Cameron moaned and dropped his head forward and Daniel grinned. He knew Cameron would be begging if not for the gag. He'd been keyed up since they found out John was coming, and Daniel had kept him from orgasm since he'd discovered exactly how turned on he was by the idea of John joining their games.

"John." Daniel pointed at Cameron's cock and John nodded. Daniel watched as John looked up at Cameron, his lips curling a little in a bit of a smile before he reigned it in, dropping to all fours and crawling across the space between them.

Daniel could feel the reaction thrum through Cameron, and had to bite back his own groan, one hand dropping to circle his cock. John positioned himself under Cameron, his hands immediately going back behind his back, his mouth moving to take Cameron's cock.

Daniel watched for a moment, then turned to the cabinet in the corner, bringing back lube and wetting his fingers. Cameron wasn't going to last long, Daniel could tell from the incoherent noises leaking out around the gag. He slipped his lube-wet fingers up Cameron's crack and pressed against his hole, watching the way his breathing hitched and he turned his head trying to see Daniel, but in his position, he didn't have much space to turn. Daniel pressed one finger in and Cameron moaned deep, his hips pushing back against Daniel.

He worked his finger around, then worked in a second. Cameron's moaned went up a notch as Daniel's long middle finger found his prostate and stroked over it. Cameron's hips moved back against him and then forward to thrust himself into John's mouth. Daniel pressed in and Cameron yelled around the gag, his body jerking as he came.

Daniel pulled his hand away, looking around Cameron to John, smiling to see him sit back, taking Cameron's sizeable load over his chin and chest. His own cock was aching with the need to fuck and he was already smearing lube onto it as he came around Cameron.

John's pupils were blown as he looked up at Daniel, then at his cock. Without a word, John bent his face down toward the mat, his hands letting go of his arms and moving to his ass, parting his cheeks in invitation.

Daniel groaned and dropped his jeans to the floor, stepping out of them and filling his hand with lube before going to one knee behind the offered ass. He smeared lube over and around John's hole, then pressed in. One finger, then two, trying to hurry, but not wanting to actually hurt him, not yet anyway. After far too long, Daniel smeared what was left of the lube over his cock and guided it toward John's ass. He was tight and Daniel nearly came before he was half way in, but he paused, took a breath and exhaled slowly before he went back to a slow, steady push.

Above them Cameron was still groaning around the gag, his drool dripping onto the back of John's neck. Daniel moved his hands to John's hips and shoved in, holding them both still as his groin pressed against John's ass. After a moment, Daniel pulled back and set up a punishing pace. He wanted to make this last, but he knew it wouldn't. If he was lucky he'd get more chances to really work John over.

For now he could settle with making sure John knew he'd been there. He fucked down hard, pulling on John's hips. John was cursing into the mat, his hands letting go of his ass cheeks and fisting by his head. Daniel looked up at Cameron who was watching them and panting loudly, his own hips echoing Daniel's rhythm.

Daniel's orgasm was not going to be backed off again. He pulled out as it started, dumping his come onto John's ass and back, standing to deposit the last drops in a line up his spine. John lifted his head, turning on his knees to take Daniel's cock in his mouth, sucking lightly and then licking it up and down, cleaning it. Daniel put a hand on his head, pulling him back, then leaning in to kiss him.

"Good boy." Daniel said, looking him over. He had come all down the front and back of him and drool around his shoulders. "You look amazing like that." Daniel said, wiping some of Cameron's come off his chin and slipping the finger into John's mouth. John sucked at it, his eyes darting up to Daniel, then away. "I think he's earned a reward, don't you, boy?" Daniel asked Cameron who was chewing on the ball in his mouth. Daniel smiled and turned back to Sheppard. "I want to watch you fuck him." Daniel said, kissing John again.

Daniel moved to the controls and lowered Cameron down. He obviously knew what Daniel wanted, going to his knees as the slack allowed him to. Daniel let him get down, his face all but in John's lap before he stopped the chain and reversed it just a little, leaving Cameron's ass fully exposed. Daniel rubbed over that ass, pressing fingers in and moving them around. Cameron was begging now, even with the gag on. Daniel couldn't make out the words, but he understood the sound. He gestured for John to join him, his cock twitching like it might want seconds when John once again crawled into position.

Daniel smeared lube onto John's cock, which was as hard as it had been upstairs and guided it to Cameron's hole. "Nice and slow now." Daniel said softly. "Take your time." He watched as John worked himself in and out, each stroke taking him deeper. Daniel stepped aside, grabbing a chair from beside the wall and putting it down where he could see both Cameron's face and his ass.

John took him at his word, each stroke slow and deliberate, rocking Cameron forward and then back. He kept his focus right on Cameron's back, his hands on his hips. Both of them were sweating now and the sounds coming from Cameron's mouth were endless begging and moans and incoherent admissions of pleasure. It had been at least a week since Daniel had fucked him, so he knew that it burned, but Cameron was pushing back, trying to get him to go faster.

John looked up at him and Daniel nodded. John's pace and force increased. Cameron grunted and dropped his head further forward, pulling now against the awkward position of his hands. John's hands moved from his hips, up Cameron's back, making claws near his shoulder and dragging back down, leaving long red marks behind from his fingertips. He seemed to realize he had maybe overstepped and looked up at Daniel quickly.

Daniel stood, coming to Cameron's side and feeling over the marks. "Faster. Tell me when you're going to come." He unsnapped the gag and eased it out of Cameron's mouth, running his fingers over his lips and pressing in. Cameron took them, licking over them until John's fucking was too much again and he moaned.

"Fuck, I'm…." John pulled out and stroked his cock, coming in short spurts onto Cameron's back.

Cameron was panting and still begging, almost as if he wasn't aware John was done. Daniel squatted next to him, petting over his face and turning it so he could kiss Cameron. "That's my good boy." Daniel murmured, sliding his hands up Cameron's arms. He released the clip holding him to the chain and helped him ease down. "John, first position." He spared a glance to be sure his instructions were followed, then turned to Cameron, unclipping the cuffs from one another and helping him lower his arms, rubbing at the shoulders and down to ease the ache he knew must be there. "Easy."

Daniel kissed over his face and let Cameron lean against him as he reached for the nearer of the leg cuffs, freeing him from that before sitting him up again and moving to get the other one. By the time he was free, Cameron was breathing easier and his eyes met Daniel's, assuring him he was good. Daniel kissed him, tongue sliding into his mouth. "You should thank John as well." Daniel said as he ended the kiss.

Cameron turned, his hand snaking out to grab the back of John's head and pull him forward, kissing him passionately. When Cameron sat back, Daniel smiled. "Go get cleaned up. John and I will be up in a minute."

Cameron lifted an eyebrow, but said nothing as he climbed to his feet. Daniel waited until he heard the door at the top of the stairs, then stood, dragging the chair over in front of where John was still kneeling. "You okay?" Daniel asked as he sat.

John lifted his head, blinking a few times. He nodded, then cleared his throat. "That was intense."

Daniel smiled. "It can get like that sometimes."

"But not always?" John asked.

"No, not always. Sometimes it's just sex. Most of the time, in fact. But sometimes we need…more. Sometimes Cameron needs more."

John nodded tightly, but didn't say anything.

"So now we come to the place where you need to make a decision." Daniel said. "You're welcome to stay…the night, the rest of your visit. Cam and I are off rotation while Sam works on a device we picked up off world. Or, you can chalk this up to an experiment and never do it again."

"Why do I sense that if I say I'm staying, there's something more?"

"There is. And in full disclosure before you make the decision, if you stay, I plan on punishing you." John's eyes narrowed and Daniel held up a hand. "Nothing serious. But, you did kiss my boy without permission today, and cost him a spanking. And you should have an idea what you're getting into."

John nodded slowly. "Anything else I should know?"

Daniel smiled and sat back in the chair. "Well, I do like to work my boy, so if you stay you can expect a conversation about your limits, and what turns you on…followed by two weeks of us exploring those limits and those kinks. I will get you off so much and so intensely that you'll need the whole trip home to Atlantis to recover."

John raised an eyebrow. "That's a big promise."

Daniel laughed and stood. "You don't have to decide right this second. Cam should be out of the shower. Let's go get you cleaned up." He held out his hand and after a moment's hesitation, John took it, letting Daniel help him to his feet.

At the top of the stairs, Cameron was waiting with a towel around his waist and a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He held out a poured shot to John, who took it and downed it without a word. Cameron leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I put your clothes in the bathroom."

Daniel grabbed at the towel and pulled it clear. "Why don't you go get into bed. I'll be there in a minute." He led John to the bathroom. "Everything you need should be in here. If you want to spend the night, you can join us in the bedroom when you're done. If you want to leave, you can let yourself out." Daniel kissed him deeply, then left him.

Cameron had the bed turned down and was already in, sitting against the headboard waiting for him. "He okay?"

Daniel nodded. "Yeah, just needs a little time, I think."

He slid into bed, across to the middle and straddled over Cameron. "Did you have fun?"

Cameron kissed him in response. "You do know how to make a party fun."

"I wasn't even sure he'd show." Daniel said, sliding off to lay beside him.

"He going to stay?" Cam asked, moving down so he could lay down.

"I hope so." Daniel said in response. Cameron spooned up behind him, one hand caressing Daniel's hip.

It was a few minutes before they knew the answer. Daniel heard the shower turn off, then there was silence for a long while before he heard soft footsteps and looked up to see a hesitant shadow in the doorway. Wordlessly, Daniel lifted the blankets as a welcome.

John crossed the room and slid into the bed, his body hot and still damp from the shower. Daniel drew him close and closed his eyes. The rest could wait.

John stretched out aching muscles as he padded into the kitchen to start some coffee. His body was sore in places he couldn't remember being sore before, but he was sated as well, a deep satisfaction that went beyond the physical.

He got the coffee going and gave thought to a hot shower, but before he could turn there were arms snaking around his waist and lips kissing up his spine. "Sleep good?" Daniel asked in a husky whisper in his ear.

John smiled, turning in his arms and kissing him lightly. "I did. You?"

Daniel rolled his head to crack his neck and then nodded. "Like a baby. It's been good, having you here."

"I'm glad I decided to stay." John said, even as Daniel's hands slipped down to grip the still sensitive skin of his ass. It had started out as the promised spanking for breaking rules, but it had quickly escalated when Daniel had seen how hard John had gotten during the first few blows with the leather paddle. There hadn't been a playtime since that didn't include refreshing the hot red color on John's ass. John groaned a little as the memory of that heat and pain rushed back and his cock stirred.

Daniel grinned and John could feel himself blushing. "So easy." He kissed John, then stepped around him to get coffee cups from the cupboard.

"Didn't used to be." John said, shaking his head. Daniel had made good on his promise. John had come more in the two weeks he'd been on Earth than he had in his whole adult life. John stretched as Daniel poured coffee. "Is Cameron still sleeping?"

"Shower." Daniel said, taking the coffee to the table. "He's due on base this morning."

John nodded, sitting gingerly and pulling his cup to him. "I guess duty calls for all of us."

"All good things must come to an end." Daniel responded. "But that brings us to the conversation we need to have."

John nodded, sipping at his coffee. He'd been anticipating it, ever since he'd decided to stay. "I suppose it does."

Daniel inhaled and let it out slowly. "When Cameron first decided that he wanted this, and I told him I needed for it to be exclusive, that I would control his cock from that moment forward, I emphasized the point. We were down for a week because Sam had some work she needed to do out at Area 51 and Teal'c was visiting his son. I made Cameron wear a cock cage for the entire week."

John couldn't help but picture that, Cameron in a cock cage, in first position, giving himself to Daniel. Unbelievably, his cock responded and John reached for it under the table.

Daniel chuckled. "Obviously, it wouldn't be safe for me to do that with you. And, with you being all the way out in Atlantis, it wouldn't really be fair of me to expect the same exclusivity from you."

John nodded, but wasn't sure it wasn't what he wanted anyway. He bit his lip, looking up to see Daniel watching him closely. "Well, it isn't like I'm getting laid every other day or anything." John said, smiling a little. "I mean, Ronon's certainly offered, but…" He shook his head.

"Fucking a team mate can be problematic." Daniel said. "You really have to have the right dynamic."

"Like you and Cam." John wouldn't have believed it before this…that two team mates could keep the team dynamic intact and still have this kind of relationship when they were off duty.

"Yeah." Daniel pulled a small box out of his robe pocket. "I have something for you. If you want it." He slid the box across the table. "If you decide you want to continue to follow the rules, wear it. If you change your mind, send it back."

John pulled the box to him and opened it. Inside, on a soft bed of velvet was a simple silver band that would sit tight around his wrist, the clasp flush with the band. "Not exactly military issue." John said as he lifted the band, turning it to read the inscription on the inside which read "first position" in script designed to look like handwriting.

"No, not exactly." Daniel responded, sitting back with his coffee. "I will let you think about it. I'm going to grab my shower."

John sat holding the bracelet as he left the room. He was still holding it when Cameron came in, dressed and ready to go. Cameron leaned in and kissed him on his way to the coffee pot. "You in there?"

John nodded and put the bracelet back in the box. "Yeah, just thinking."

"He really liked having you here." Cameron said, sitting beside John with the coffee pot. "So did I."

John had really enjoyed it as well, but it made going home to Atlantis more difficult than he'd imagined. "Next time you boys come to Atlantis…"

"If you've recovered by then." Cameron said, chuckling.

"Yeah, my ass is going to be sore for weeks."

Cameron leaned in and kissed him again, licking at his lips. "Always knew it would turn you on."

"I'm not the only one." John replied, though he could feel the blush starting. He sat back, pushing his hand down on his cock and telling himself to behave. "I should get dressed." He took the box with him as he headed for the bedroom. It slipped into his pocket as he finished, joining Daniel and Cameron at the front door.

It amazed him how easily Daniel and Cameron slipped out of their roles and back into the men he'd known before this trip, bantering easily about missions and other personnel. Once at the base, Cameron left them to go to his briefing with some new pilots, and Daniel said his goodbyes as Carter came to get him when they reached the corridor that would take him to the gate room. It felt odd, after two weeks with so much physical contact to just smile and wave.

The new personnel were waiting in the gate room with Landry as John arrived. "Colonel Sheppard, you ready to go home?"

He nodded. "I am, sir. Thank you."

Landry nodded to Walter in the control room and John stepped in beside the others just as the familiar feeling of the transporter beam tickled his senses. A few seconds later they were on the bridge of the Daedalus and on their way. There were meetings with each of the new members of the crew for Atlantis, dinner with some friends permanently stationed on the ship and reports from Atlantis to pour over.

He was alone in the small space that was his quarters for the journey, when he pulled the box out of his pocket. He opened it and lifted the bracelet, opening the clasp and settling it over his left wrist. It was a little tight, reminiscent of the restraints Daniel had used more than once.

It felt good. He nodded to himself and stowed the box in his duffle. It was a promise, and a reminder. John found himself wondering how long it would be before he could manage another stretch of leave…how long it would be before he could once again take that first position, submission in return for pleasures he had never known he could crave.

Happy December!

2015-12-02T03:36:10Z

Hey there everyone! Welcome to the end of 2015.

I hope everyone out there is feeling good and doing good and planning a few shenanigans!

I'm feeling a need to stretch my fingers into some fandoms beyond what I've been writing recently, which has mostly been SG1 and SGA, along with some original stuff...so I turn to you, my friends and readers.

Let's call it a Christmas Request post. I won't promise to write something for every prompt, but I'll write as many as the muse allows between now and the end of the year. I will give at least 300 words, but y'all know I can be pretty verbose when the muse strikes.

So, comment below with your desired fandom, pairing/characters, and either an image or up to a ten word prompt (can be a random list of words or an inspiring phrase/sentence).

Fandoms I will consider:

Supernatural
Criminal Minds
White Collar
Leverage
Buffy
Angel
Firefly
Justified
Saving Hope
Hawaii 5-0

Possibly others. If you think I watch it and might write it, you can ask. I will also do crossovers. Yes, even crazy ones. I will consider a crossover with a Stargate character or two, but need the challenge of other characters again.

I should mention here that I am not actively writing RPS at the moment, so I will not be writing any RPS prompts, regardless of what fandom.

Please specify in your prompt if you want it kept to a PG rating. Also be specific if you don't want angst, because my muse loves the angst. How about I give you a template?

Fandom:
Characters/Pairing:
Image Prompt: give me a URL or whatever
Word Prompt:
Rating:
Anything you don't want:

Ready? Set. Go

Attention SPN Fans!

2015-08-27T19:50:03Z

I am attempting to sell some stuff to help get myself out of my current situation.

I have a Supernatural Season 1 trading card from the episode Faith signed by both Julie Benz and Jensen Ackles. It is currently listed on Ebay for $90 USD or Best Offer.

The more I get, the better it is for me, but I will not turn away any offer I deem worthwhile.

Ebay Link

A little help goes a long way

2015-08-26T14:06:06Z

So, I am currently employed in a great job at great pay and I have been working at cleaning up my past bad credit. However, last month in an effort to clean up an old debt, I got ripped off instead. The collection agency was supposed to collect $330 from my bank account and instead took $3300. This caused a whole hell of a lot of chaos and made my rent check bounce.

What followed was even more of a mess and has led to getting a lawyer and filing a suit to get the money back.

In the mean time, I'm out the $1800 for that rent. Fortunately, my landlord is letting me pay it pack in installments, but they're not happy. The sooner I can get it paid off the better.

If you can spare anything at all, my gofund me is here: Help Me Cover Back Rent

I have a number of "rewards" on the go fund me, but don't be shy about asking for something that isn't there, a story you'd like to see, an edit on something you're working on....I'd rather earn the money than just take donations...though at this point I'm grateful for just the donations too.

Christmas Slave Exchange anyone?

2015-08-15T17:41:57Z

You all may remember a few years back I ran a community called The Slave Exchange. I decided to give it a go again with an eye for fic/art posting around Christmas.

This comm works a little different to others. It begins with prompts. Next saturday I will post a prompt post with the rules and conventions for prompting. Prompts are welcome to be fandom specific or open to any fandom.

After collecting prompts we will have a claiming period for the authors. Once the authors have had a few weeks with the story we will have a claiming period for artists. Then the author and artist get to work together to produce a minimum of 3000 words and art to go with.

You can find sister comms at theslaveexchange on Dreamwidth and slaveexchange on LiveJournal.

The prompting post will go up next Saturday.

The Price of Blasphemy, Stargate SG1, NC-17

2015-08-02T19:16:07Z

Fandom: Stargate SG1
Title: The Price of Blasphemy
Characters/Pairings: Jack O'Neill, Sam Carther, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c
Word count: 4247
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Jack O'Neill has been captured on a planet where criminals and political prisoners are used as slaves, and the ones who can not be broken are forced into breeding new slaves.

A/Ns & Warnings: This involves forced orgasm and artificial breeding, lots of bondage, some humiliation, etc...

Jack strained against the yoke that sat on his shoulders and kept his head and wrists locked in place, but the movement only upset his balance and sent him stumbling into one the guards who responded by bringing the short tail of his whip down over Jack's bare, but increasingly bloody back.

It was bad enough he'd been the one who got cut off from the others and subsequently caught. He had been the one who had shot his mouth off about the treatment of prisoners on this conceited, backwards, slave-justifying planet when they'd realized what it was they were seeing. And of course, that meant when he was caught they were going to show him exactly how their system of justice worked.

But it had been two days and he'd really expected some sort of rescue by now. There had been no sign from Daniel or Sam or Teal'c to indicate they'd gone for help or come back for him. Two days that these monsters had tied him to the front of a plow and expected him to pull it. Two days of bad rations and getting hit for talking, for resting, for moving too slow, for trying to escape.

Jack had been hit a lot.

The guards dragged him into the blessedly cool interior of the manor house where the lady who had taken possession of him lived and held court, for lack of a better word. Daniel had tried to explain the feudal nature of their society, but Jack hadn't really been listening.

He was pulled through a gathering of people in pretty gowns and jewels and stopped in front of a raised platform where a woman in flowing robes of bright red and gold was lounging. Her eyes flicked over him and they somehow made him feel dirtier than he already was from the field.

She raised an eyebrow and stood, descending the stairs slowly, petting over some furry thing in her hand. "I am Lady Abilla. My foreman tells me that you refuse to work."

"He would be right." Jack said, meeting her eyes. "Like I told him, I think there's been some kind of mistake. Ma'am."

The furry thing in her hand moved, sliding up to her shoulder, distracting him. She pulled his attention back with her hand on his face. "Oh, there has been no mistake, Colonel. You blasphemed, you were caught, judgement was passed. One year slave labor for the one you blasphemed against. Namely me." She walked around him, her hand sliding over his sweaty and bloody skin. "Or do you deny that you called me an 'unhinged psychopathic bitch?'"

"Actually, I think what I said was--" She cut him off with a backhand across his cheekbone.

"I see my foreman has been liberal with the usual punishments, to no avail. But that is fine. I have something…more likely to get the response I require."

She turned and abruptly walked back to her chair, gesturing to several of her men. A side door opened and two men dragged Carter into the room. She was chained around the waist, stripped from the waist up, down to just her bra , her hands bound in heavy metal manacles in front of her. Around her neck a thick metal collar held her head at an unnatural angle and even before she got close he could see bruising and blood.

They pulled her to a stop just to the side of the platform. Her eyes lifted slowly to his, filled with pain and guilt and determination.

"Unlock the Colonel from his yoke."

Two guards unlocked the heavy locking clasps that held the wooden yoke closed around his wrists, then opened it and lifted it free of his head. His hands fell heavily to his sides and he rotated his neck a little to ease up the kinks.

The guards pushed Carter to her knees and drew her bound hands up, attaching them to a chain another guard lowered from above. They took their time adjusting her position to their liking before one of them took up a position between her and Jack, a nasty looking whip with at least five short tails of hardened leather in his hands.

"Now then, Colonel, I will give you an order. You will obey, or the lady will take the punishment for disobedience."

"Like hell." Jack took a step forward, but the guard with the whip was fast and Carter's voice yelled out as the first blow fell. "Stop."

Lady Abilla raised an eyebrow. "That is up to you."

Jack lifted his gaze to meet hers. "What is it you want from me?"

"Do you understand why you have been sentenced to servitude, Colonel?" She asked instead, one hand stroking lazily over the fur of her pet. "Your sin stems from pride. You are here to learn humility. I will humble you." She looked over him, then pointedly at the gathered nobility around him. "Let us begin with removing your clothing."

"What?" Jack looked down at himself, at the torn and cut off pants that were all he had left of what he came through the gate with.

There was a slap of leather and Carter's voice yelling and he nodded. "Fine." He unbuttoned the pants and pushed them down, stepping out of them and holding up his arms to her. "Better?"

"Do all of your people wear clothing under your clothing, Colonel?" She laughed, gesturing at the boxer briefs he was still wearing.

"Most of us." Jack replied.

She wasn't laughing then. "You are an insolent beast. You will hold your tongue, or I will hold hers."

The guard pulled Carter's head back, his fingers prying open her mouth as another approached with an instrument that looked like something from the Inquisition. Jack held up his hand. "I'm sorry. I'll be quiet."

"See that you are. Now, I told you to remove your clothing."

Jack bit his tongue and kept his anger to himself. Wherever the hell Daniel and Teal'c were, they needed to be showing up with the rescue soon. He slipped his fingers into the waistband of his underwear and pushed them down.

He wasn't an overly modest man, not with as long as he'd been in the military. You share close quarters with a bunch of guys, share showers and locker rooms, you can't hold onto some Puritan ideal of modesty. Still, he could feel himself blushing and his hand dropped to cover his cock as he let the underwear fall to the floor.

"Come closer. We would see you."

Jack bit his tongue and stepped forward, his eyes on the back of Carter's head. "Move your hand, Colonel. If I'm to assess your worth, I must see all of you."

Jack moved his hand slowly, exposing his flaccid cock to the woman, and most of the people in the front row.

"I can see why you would wish to keep it so hidden." Lady Abilla said with a laugh. "Why, it's hardly enough to even bother with." She gestured to one of her men who came at Jack with a stick in his hands. Jack involuntarily stepped back, only to find a guard had moved behind him.

"Hey, now, just a minute-" Jack bit off his words as Carter grunted under another blow and the man with the stick grabbed his cock. Jack looked away as the man felt over his cock and balls, then pulled his cock straight out, measuring it against the stick. Jack had never considered himself exceptionally well endowed, but he knew well enough that he was above average in any locker room he'd been in. He had to wonder what the men of this planet kept under their pants.

"He meets minimum requirements, my Lady. Just barely." He held the stick up, his thumb marking the length of Jack's cock. Lady Abilla laughed and motioned him closer.

"So he does. From here I wouldn't know." She looked Jack over. "Before I decide what I shall do with you, Colonel, let us establish an accord between us." She stood again, letting the furry pet slide onto her thrown as she descended the couple of steps toward him. "Our accord is this, you will obey, or I will punish your friend. Am I understood?"

Jack had never wanted to punch a woman in the face so much before that moment. He glanced at Carter's bloody back, before meeting her eyes. He nodded tightly while he seethed and plotted how he would make the woman pay.

"Good. Shall we test how this will work?" Her hand cupped his cock, stroking it several times before squeezing it. "On your knees, swine." She stepped back, one eyebrow lifted as she watched him.

Jack grimaced, but went to his knees, keeping his eyes averted. "Now, bend forward and show me your ass." Jack gritted his teeth, but did as he was told, bending forward until his face was nearly on the floor. Hands petted over his skin, slid down his crack, pressed against his hole. He lurched forward and heard Carter yell again, glancing up and cursing under his breath.

Those hands reached through his legs to grab his cock, stroking it vigorously. To his shock, he was starting to get hard, despite the current situation. Abilla laughed and the hands left him, only to return moments later and tie something around his balls. When they were done, Jack could feel the weight of whatever was at the end of the string and the hand pulled on it. Bells sounded as the hand moved away.

"Bring him a collar and house restraints. Tell the breeder I am sending him fresh stock."

A hand in his hair pulled him back so that he was sitting on his knees, which were already protesting the stone floor. His head was positioned as a guard came at him with a metal collar like the one Carter was wearing. They fit it to his neck, tight and tall and uncomfortable, and he heard the snick of the lock. His hands were yanked out to his sides and manacles clamped down on his wrists.

One of the guards attached a chain to the collar and gave it a tug, but when Jack tried to stand, he was hit from behind. "Animals crawl," the guard snarled at him. Jack spared a glance at Carter, who was being unchained and complied, dropping to his hands and knees. His face burned as the bells hanging from his balls called out every movement.

He was dragged out of the hall and into a corridor. Behind him he could hear Carter, though she was less resistant to the treatment she was getting, and she was apparently allowed to walk. His knees were complaining and his elbows weren't happy and the bells kept chiming out as he moved. His skin burned with embarrassment, knowing that Carter was behind him, watching.

Finally, they came to a door and he was dragged inside, away from Carter. The room wasn't big, with décor that seemed to be a cross between dungeon chic and medieval medical, with a pair of tables that seemed more than a little frightening, a curtain partially separating them.

Jack was dragged to the first table and pulled up and pushed onto it, sitting at the end as the guard locked his ankles into leather restraints just off the floor. He was then pushed to lay back and a leather strap tightened across his thighs. One guard held his shoulders against the table while another pulled his arm down and locked the manacle to something he couldn't see. The other arm was locked down and then a man he hadn't seen before was approaching, some metal contraption in his hand.

Jack watched it come, trying to figure out what it was, but at about the time he figured it out it was already too late. The metal bars were bent and shaped to fit tight around his head, a large leather tongue sticking out to fit into his mouth. His lips were pried open and the bit shoved into his mouth, the straps pulled tight and down under his head before the metal cage was locked down.

"This is the breedstock?"

"With the Lady's compliments."

"And the woman?"

"Lady Abilla says that she is unfit to breed, she will be sent to the temple to serve the needs of the priests."

"Very well. Lock her down and let me to my work."

Jack tried to see what was happening with Carter, but the cage made it so he couldn't turn his head. The man who had dismissed the guards drew his attention back to himself however, as his strong hands pulled Jack's ass closer to the end of the table. "Now then, let us have a look at you."

Warm hands fondled him, lifting his cock and examining it. He stroked it a few times and clucked a little. "A bit on the small side, but I can work with it." He turned his attention to Jack's balls, feeling over each one, making the bells ring out. "Good, good." He turned away and fiddled with something and when he turned back, his cold, wet finger slid into Jack's ass without warning.

Jack tensed and yelled, though all but a muffled sound was stifled by the gag. His finger felt around inside Jack until it poked Jack's prostate and made Jack gasp. His cock responded predictably as well, which seemed to make the man happy. He withdrew his finger and patted Jack's leg before he disappeared out of Jack's range of vision.

He could hear Carter shifting around on the other table, muffled sounds that sounded like she was also gagged. He pulled at the restraints, but they weren't budging. Carter was yelling now, though the gag muffled most of the sound. He fought harder, but the restraints held.

The man came back into view, nodding. "Very good. Let's begin."

He pushed a cart up between the beds. Jack couldn't see what was on it clearly, but it didn't take too long to figure out what it was supposed to do. The man smeared a cold gel onto Jack's cock, then pushed a tube like device over him, strapping it down to hold it in place. There was a click and the sound of a motor starting and in a few seconds some warm, soft sleeve moved down his cock, and then up again, feeling almost like he was fucking someone.

It started slow, tightening slightly, twisting some as it encased his cock. He fought the feeling, but when the man stuck his finger back into Jack's ass, Jack's cock finished hardening and his skin started to slick with sweat.

"Just relax. So much easier when you relax." Jack couldn't see him, but he felt the finger leave him, only to be replaced by something thinner, but hard. It pressed into his prostate and Jack tried to squirm away from it, but all he managed to do was thrust his hips up into the tube.

He tried to think about things that would kill his arousal, but the pressure on his prostate and the whine of the motor kept dragging him back and he was going to come whether he wanted to or not. Then the suction started and Jack groaned as he started to orgasm.

The machine kept stroking and sucking and Jack thought he would pass out before he stopped coming, but finally the suction released and the sleeve stopped its movement. Jack panted around the gag and tried to put his thoughts back together.

The man moved from the machine and Jack tried to see Carter, but between the way his head was pinned and the curtain, he couldn't see anything. There was a hand on his thigh and Jack's attention was pulled back to the man who was holding a syringe of some kind.

"Not bad for one with such small equipment. Perhaps this will help."

Jack screamed as the needle bit into his balls, first one, then the other. Fire raced into him, his cock twitching as whatever was in the syringe worked inside him.

"We will let you rest until the medicine has done its job." The man shuffled away and Jack heard a door close. Jack's eyes watered and he couldn't stop pulling on the manacles that kept his hands pinned uncomfortably low. The bells tied to his balls jingled loudly as he struggled, but no matter what he did he wasn't getting loose.

He forced himself to stop when he could feel skin tearing in his wrists. He focused on his breathing, on calming himself down. He listened for Carter, tried to call her name, despite the gag. The response came just as muffled and not understandable, but it told him she was still aware, still functional.

Not that it would do either of them any good.

They were pretty well stuck until something changed.

He was pretty sure he'd never hurt the way he did right then. The cage they'd locked him in was small and he lay on the floor, curled up around the pain. His cock was red and every touch made him nearly pass out.

Jack had no idea how long they'd kept him strapped to the table, but they'd milked him of come at least six times, injecting him after every orgasm, before they'd hauled him out of the room and dropped him in the cage.

It was dark, but that suited him fine. The skin of his back itched, the open wounds uncomfortable. The skin of his wrists was bruised and bleeding, raw in places under the metal of the manacles. His head pounded and he drifted in and out of something that vaguely resembled sleep.

He stiffened when he heard the sound of footsteps, half expecting to be hauled back to that room for more torment. Instead, he heard Carter's voice. "Sir?" She slipped up to the cage, her face filled with concern.

"Carter? What…"

"We don't have a lot of time. Can you walk?"

He nodded and she fumbled with the lock on the cage until it came open. "Here." She shoved a pile of cloth at him as he crawled out of the cage, her eyes averted. The cloth turned out to be pants and a shirt, the style of the local men. He dressed quickly, wincing as he tucked himself into the pants and again when he struggled into the shirt. Several of the scabbed up wounds were bleeding again when he finally got it on.

Carter's hand was soft on his arm. "Daniel and Teal'c are setting up a distraction. We need to move now."

"Carter?" He stopped her as they reached the door of the room. "Are you all right?"

"Let's worry about that after we get out of here, Sir." She avoided looking him in the eye, and cracked the door open, looking both ways before nodding and leading him out of the dark and into a brightly lit hallway. She led him down a confusing maze of corridors, pressing back into doorways and side hallways whenever it seemed likely that they'd be caught.

They waited in a dark hallway as servants scurried past in the main hallway. "Just down this corridor there is a side door that leads out to the kitchen garden. From there, we're going over the wall and heading for the gate." Sam said softly when the coast was clear.

"You planned this?" Jack asked.

She shrugged. "Not exactly this, but yeah. Come on."

They made the door and slipped out into a garden in the dark quiet of not quite dawn. Carter pointed at a spot where there was a box of some sort to climb on. She went first, dropping quickly over the wall as Jack climbed up.

He dropped down, landing on his ass and rolling up as the fall reminded him of all the assorted injuries and indignities. "Sir?"

Jack nodded and held up a hand. She took it and helped him up. "Gate's that way."

They took off at as much of a run as they could manage, gaining the cover of the trees before they took a break. The gate was a good day's walk from the village and they'd come out on the far side. Carter stopped them near a fallen tree, panting as she squatted beside a hole in the trunk and fished out her gear. "Daniel, this is Sam, we're clear."

"Roger that Sam. We're on our way to the gate."

She sat on the mossy ground as she lowered the radio and pulled a canteen out of her pack. She took a long drink and passed it to him. Jack took a big swallow and gave it back, easing himself to the ground. "You got caught on purpose."

She nodded. "One of us needed to get inside. When we saw them take you from the fields, we figured I was the best choice." She looked away. "We had an idea where they were taking you."

"You did?" He wanted to say more, to ask if she was okay, to ask…hell he wasn't even sure what he wanted to ask.

"I'm okay." She said abruptly.

"No." Jack said softly. "What they did--"

She stood, shaking her head. "I'm fine. We should go."

Jack could tell she wasn't fine, but he got up and fell into step beside her. They walked in silence for a long time before either of them spoke. "It isn't likely it….took." Carter said haltingly.

"And if it did?" Jack asked, wincing when she physically pulled away from him.

"Then we deal with it." She kept her face pointed in the direction they were going and didn't look at him. "I mean, it isn't like we could…" She shook her head.

"I'm sorry." Jack said softly.

"It's not your fault," she responded just as softly.

They took several breaks but didn't talk, not until they were squatting in a dense grove of bushes not far from the gate after spotting a patrol looking for them. The area was quiet and Jack took the radio from Carter. "Daniel, tell me we have something resembling a plan?"

"Jack, yeah. Any minute now SG3 is going to come through the gate to back us up."

"Where are you?" Jack asked.

"We can see the gate. You?"

"Not quite. We had to duck out of sight."

"We can come to you if you need back up."

"Keep your eyes on the gate, and let me know when SG3 is in place."

He looked at Carter, but she was still doing her best not to look at him. "I say we hunker down here until SG3 can send someone armed our way." He needed the rest and by the look of things, so did she.

Carter nodded, sitting and adjusting her position. They were quiet again for a minute before she cleared her throat. "Sir…have you ever thought about it?"

He frowned at her before he caught her meaning, but he couldn't really answer her.

"I mean, since your son…have you considered having another kid?"

"Carter…I…" He sighed, looking down at his torn up wrists and fidgeting with the metal of the manacles.

She shook her head. "No, not that I… I mean, someday…" Her eyes closed and she swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm saying. " The radio came to life and Daniel was telling them that Teal'c and one of SG3 was coming to escort them the rest of the way. Carter stood, brushing her hands on her pants. "Let's go home, Colonel."

Jack looked up from the book he wasn't reading in the infirmary as Carter appeared near the end of the bed. "You look better." Jack said. It had been nearly twenty four hours and he hadn't seen Carter since they had come through the gate, both of them whisked off to separate medical exams.

She nodded, arms crossed over her stomach. "You too. Janet says you're going to be fine."

Jack held up his bandage wrists. "Good as new. Can't lay on my back for a while, but you understand that."

She nodded. "Yeah, though it could have been worse."

She bit her lip and looked like there was more she wanted to say. It took a minute, but she came around the bed and pulled a stool closer, easing down onto it. "You should know…." She glanced at his face, then looked away. "It's done. It's over."

Her hand shook as she lifted it to wipe at a stray hair that had fallen on her face. "I didn't…I couldn't…."

He moved his hand to catch hers. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.

She nodded and took in a shaky breath. "I will be."

"Are we okay?"

She managed a smile as she nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Good."

She rubbed a thumb over his hand, then pulled away and stood. "I should let you rest. I'm taking a few days personal leave. Daniel said he'd come by later."

Jack nodded and watched her go.

It wasn't lost on him that he'd failed her on every turn during this mission, and that she had been the one to rescue him, despite that fact. He didn't deserve forgiveness. And even if she seemed to offer it, it was something he could never accept.

Selling some stuff to help pay my rent

2015-07-29T01:49:17Z

Things hit a snag in my world recently. Nothing I can't handle, but I am listing a bunch of stuff on Ebay to try to raise some cash. Several fandom things included: Supernatural, Christian Kane, Steve Carlson, Star Trek, Star Wars, plus random art, a sword or two....you get the picture.

I figured some of these things are items my readers might be interested in. First round closes tomorrow where the big ticket item is a poster print of one of my pictures signed by Christian and Steve.

Here's the list: http://www.ebay.com/sch/natalie-jc/m.html?item=181817097342&ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562

I also just listed a signed SPN trading card, signed by Jensen Ackles and Julie Benz: http://www.ebay.com/sch/natalie-jc/m.html?item=181817097342&ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562

More trading cards will be going up, including Supernatural, Star Wars and Star Trek.

I'm hoping to raise enough money to bail me out of this situation (long story short, got ripped off by a "collections agency" in a mistaken effort to repair my credit).

Let me know if you have any questions!

Don't Think We're in Kansas, Final Chapter (second part), Stargate SGA/Supernatural, NC17

2015-07-25T20:30:19Z

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis/Supernatural
Title: Don't Think We're in Kansas, Part 16 (in two posts)
Characters/Pairings: John Sheppard/Sam Winchester/ Dean Winchester, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, YED
Word Count: 10259
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The Yellow Eyed Demon has found his way to the Pegasus galaxy, and he still has his eyes set on Sam, but his plans don't take into account that Sam isn't the boy he once was, and the gifts the demon has given him are augmented by the technology that binds him to John and Dean. If Sam gives in to the temptation of power, they could destroy the galaxy. But Sam isn't alone anymore, and no one is prepared for what happens when demon juiced Wraith enzyme comes into play.

A/Ns & Warnings: And here we are, at the end. Thank you to everyone who came along for the ride. Sorry it took so long to get here. Onward to the next adventure.

"No. Absolutely not." Elizabeth said, shaking her head and standing. "I will not authorize a suicide mission."

"It isn't a suicide mission." Sam interjected. "It's a pre-emptive strike." He forced himself not to get up and pace. "I go in alone with the colt. One shot to the head and it's over. Dean and John and all of Atlantis will be safe."

"You want to go in there by yourself, when you and your brother have been warning us for months that this demon you're after is worse than all the Wraith combined?"

Sam licked his lips. "I know, but he doesn't know I have the Colt, and he won't be expecting me to come alone. In every dream and every vision, Dean and John are there with me, and in every one of them they die. If I go alone they stay alive."

"And what about you?" Elizabeth asked, coming to his side of the desk and leaning against it. "What happens to you?"

Sam bit his lip and looked away, his hands picking at imaginary lint on his jeans. "I…end up…" He sighed explosively and jumped up to pace. "It doesn't end well. That's why I want to go alone. I can change it."

"And what did Colonel Sheppard have to say?"

Sam rolled his shoulders and leaned on the back of the chair. "I haven't said anything to him, or Dean. They'd never agree."

"But you thought I would? Have you even thought about the proximity problem? I know that you have a larger range than when you first came to Atlantis, but you could all fall down dead as soon as you're through the gate."

Sam nodded. That he had taken into consideration. "A lot has changed, and yeah, we haven't tested it, but we've overcome a lot of the programming built into the collars. There's no reason to believe that hasn't changed too."

"No reason to believe it has either." Elizabeth countered. She crossed her arms and looked at him. "I know that you're worried about your brother and Colonel Sheppard. I am too. But running off on your own isn't the way to solve this."

"Every other scenario leads to them dying." Sam said, though he knew he'd lost the argument. Worse, he could feel Dean trying to figure out what he was up to. "Forget I said anything."

He left her office and headed toward Ronon who was leaning against the railing of the stairs. "Dean send you?" Sam asked.

"Nope." Ronon grinned and touched his earpiece. "Got him."

"John." Sam muttered, shaking his head. "This is getting old. I can't even go to the bathroom without one of them worrying about where I am."

"Maybe if you'd stop hiding from them they'd back off."

"I'm not hiding." Sam groused. "Not exactly. But whatever is causing it, our connection is so strong I sometimes can't tell if I'm me, and having the two of them constantly in my head is exhausting."

"I bet." Ronon fell into step beside him, rubbing their shoulders together with a grin. "Can think of better ways to exhaust you."

Sam couldn't help but grin. "Yeah? Just you and me, or are we inviting the wonder twins along for the fun?"

Ronon pulled him into a side corridor and shoved him against the wall, one hand reaching down to grab his cock as he leaned in close. "Don't need anybody else to fuck you into the wall."

Sam's cock twitched and he nipped at Ronon's lips. "Right here in the hallway, Ronon?"

"Maybe."

Sam turned them so Ronon was pressed against the wall. "Little public for my taste. That's more Dean's thing."

Ronon turned them again, pulling on Sam's lip with his teeth. Sam leaned his head to the side, offering up his neck for Ronon's mouth. He nipped at skin until he got to the base of Sam's neck, then he bit and sucked and dragged them further down the hall, his hand swinging out to get the door to a room open.

Sam barely registered some sort of lab before Ronon's hands were pulling at his pants and his mouth was still working on bruising Sam's neck. He let go with a pop and dropped to one knee as he freed Sam's cock, taking it into his mouth quickly, fingers playing with Sam's balls. "Damn."

Sam reached behind him for the console, bracing himself as Ronon's mouth moved over his cock, quickly bringing him to a full erection and half way to coming. Sam could sort of sense John and Dean, reacting predictably, but then Ronon was standing up and turning him around and his big hands were pushing Sam over the console. There was spit and fingers and way before he was ready, Ronon was pushing into his ass.

The noise in his head rose and his own arousal was joined by Dean's and John's, blurring and blending and magnifying until Sam was coming hard. Ronon didn't slow down, even as Sam was trying to sift through the overwhelming explosion inside his head. Dean's hand was on his cock, even if Dean wasn't in the room, except it was John's hand, or it was Dean's cock or they were all one with one hand and one cock and come all over the place.

Sam moaned and reached for his cock, half expecting other hands. He was still hard and each touch was like fire, coaxing a little more liquid from him, bringing more of Dean and John and Sam was sure he couldn't come anymore, but then Ronon shifted speed and pulled back to change the angle and he thought Dean was screaming, or was that his voice? He couldn't tell.

The first rush of heat from Ronon's orgasm was too much and Sam whited out, collapsing forward onto the console as his knees gave out. Ronon caught his hips and held him while Sam fought his way back, dragging a hand over his face.

"You all right?"

Sam grinned sheepishly and nodded, testing his weight on rubbery legs before he moved to pull his pants up. "Yeah. That was…intense."

Ronon's grin was huge and Sam laughed. "You should be grateful you aren't a part of this…." He gestured at his neck to indicate the collar. "We should go check on John and Dean."

The four of them ended up in John's bed, spending the next couple of hours exhausting each other in every way possible. Sam fell asleep with Dean spooned up behind him, falling quickly under his fatigue. He chased dreams around for a while until something caught his attention and he found himself looking at the demon they had prisoner.

"You want more, don't you Sam? It's going to make you strong, strong enough to beat them all."

"Beat who?" Sam asked, though his voice sounded more like Dean's.

"Anyone. Everyone. He's waiting for you. If you take what he sent for you, you'll be strong enough."

He could see the syringe in the man's hand, felt a desire to feel that power. "I could kill you with it." Sam said, suddenly certain.

"You could try."

It was still dark outside the windows as Sam came awake. He slipped from the bed and went into the bathroom to splash his face with cold water. He could still feel the desire, the flush of power and somehow he knew that with the power of the demon beside it, that rush would be stronger, bigger.

He stepped out of the bathroom and listened, watching the bed for signs that any of them had woken with him. When there was none, he went to the door, leaving quietly and making for his room. He got dressed quickly, like he was heading out on a mission. He stopped at the nightstand and retrieved the colt, loading it with the remaining bullets and tucking in his belt.

He moved quickly then, through the halls and down to the infirmary. The night crew was small and in general accustomed to seeing him. He greeted the doctor, his eyes traveling to the case where Carson was keeping the sample of the enzyme they had taken from the demon. He told the doctor he was out of the sleeping pills Carson had given him, and when the doctor left the room to get him more, Sam opened the case and pulled out the vial and a syringe, sticking them in his pocket as the doctor returned. "Thanks."

He went from there to detention, dismissing the guards at the door as the demon realized he was there. "Okay, how do I use it?" Sam asked, holding up the vial.

"Ready to play with the big boys, Sammy? You aren't ready for that. You need what I've got first or it will blow your head off."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, though he suspected he knew.

"Gonna have to get closer, Sammy boy."

Sam opened the door and stepped inside. The demon rattled the restraints keeping it in the chair. "Hope you've got a knife or something."

Sam paused to pull a knife from his boot, then crossed to the chair. "Now what?"

"You're gonna have to cut me, son. Make it nice and clean, deep, then drink down as much as you can."

"You want me to drink your blood. Like some kind of vamp?"

He laughed. "No vampire would get this close to what you're about to taste."

Sam could feel Dean beginning to stir, to realize Sam was gone. He was going to run out of time. "Okay, so I cut you and I drink and then what?"

The demon smiled at him. "Then you inject that and become stronger than you ever imagined."

He adjusted his grip on the knife and stepped closer. It was a disgusting thought, but somehow he knew it was what he needed to get to the yellow eyed demon. In one quick motion, Sam sliced through the man's arm, then leaned in and clamped his mouth around the wound.

Copper tang filled his mouth and he closed his eyes, swallowing quickly so he wouldn't think too much about it. Fire traced down his throat, pooled in his stomach and flared out. His heart raced and every nerve ending in his body seemed alive. Bits and pieces of dreams and visions shifted in his head, slowely forming a more cohesive picture.

Yellow Eyes was waiting for him. This wasn't exactly how it had been meant to go, but he'd meant for this to happen, for Sam to get filled up with the blood, brought to life by it …to become something new. Same pulled back, wiping blood from his face and he raised the vial and syringe. His hands shook as he filled it, but he jabbed the needle into his thigh and pushed the plunger.

For a second he couldn't breathe as it burned it's way into him, feeling through his muscles and flaring to life inside him. Knowledge he shouldn't possess clicked into place and his head filled with what he could do. Sam stood, fully aware of John and Dean, now both fully awake and coming for him, of the smug demon crouching inside the poor man in front of him, of the fact that he could kill that demon with just a bit of effort.

He reached out the hand as the demon laughed, grabbing and pulling it from its host, squeezing until the laughter ended and the smoke was gone. He turned then, knowing he needed to hurry before Dean and John could stop him. He raced up to the gate room, greeting the lone tech working the night shift, and apologizing before he punched the guy out. Sam dialed the gate and watched it come to life. Just before he headed down the stairs, Sam pulled the Colt from his belt and laid it on the console, leaving the equivalent to a mental note attached to it. One he knew both Dean and John would understand. Yellow Eyes expected him. Expected Dean, maybe even John.

Atlantis was so much more and Sam wasn't planning to walk into this without back up.

Sam knew the gate would close behind him before his brother could stop him, but Dean wouldn't be far behind. He only had to distract the demon long enough for the plan to unfold.

Dean came to a screeching halt as the gate closed. John raced past him and up the stairs into the control room. 'Damn it, Sam." Dean yelled, still trying to figure out how Sam kept what he was doing hidden from them up until the moment his senses had just exploded. "What did you do?"

Ronon jogged up behind him, holding up a syringe. "Guy was bleeding and rambling about Sam and demons. Found this on the floor."

Dean felt the moment John picked up the gun, Sam…asking them to follow, bring back up, he'd clear the gate. "Damn it, Sam."

"Suit up." John said as he ran down the stairs and tossed the Colt to Ronon. "Sam wants you to have that, and he says to aim for the head."

"So, we're doing this?" Dean asked. They turned as one to run back to get dressed in mission gear and John nodded.

"Yeah, before the proximity issue hits and none of us can move." John said. "Ronon, wake Lorne, have him get two units into jumpers to follow us through. Cloak immediately."

"Got it." Ronon peeled off at a run.

Dean followed John into what served as a locker room because it was closer than their rooms. The absence of Sam in his head was disconcerting after so long having him there. Dean's stomach twisted and John's hand slipped into his, their minds all but sliding into sync as well. "I know." Dean whispered. John didn't have to speak his own fear and anger and determination. They lived in Dean's chest.

They finished dressing and headed for the armory. Ronon caught up with them as they got back to the gate room and Elizabeth was waiting on the stairs, her arms crossed, looking a little sleep mussed. "Colonel Sheppard--"

"We're going after him." John said, his hand on Dean's chest to stop him from saying it.

"Ronon filled me in." Elizabeth said, signaling the tech to start dialing. "I'm not stopping you, I'm here to ask what you need."

"I've got Lorne and two teams in jumpers ready to go. Sam said he'd clear the gate for us." John said.

Elizabeth nodded and touched her earpiece. "Major Lorne, are you ready?"

"Locked and loaded."

"I want the first jumper to precede Colonel Sheppard's team and ensure that the gate has been cleared."

'Roger that. Just tell us when."

"I do hope you were planning on waiting for us." Teyla said, as she stopped beside Ronon. McKay was beside her, still pulling his vest on.

"I wasn't going to ask…" John said, trailing off as the gate opened. "Clear the space." He gestured for them to get back. "Okay, Lorne, gate's open."

"We're a team." Teyla said with a smile. "There is no need to ask.

Dean was starting to feel a little woozy and a look at John said he was feeling it too. "We need to move."

John nodded and looked up as a jumper lowered into the room and lined up with the gate. It wooshed through and in only a minute Dean could hear Lorne in his ear. "This side is clear. I'll make a sweep around the area and come back for cover."

"Roger that. Team two, be ready for Elizabeth's mark. Dean, Ronon on point, Teyla, keep me apprised of any possible Wraith feelings. Move out."

Dean fell into step beside Ronon, his gun up as they stormed through the gate. There were two stunned or dead Wraith near the dialing device, but other than that, there was nothing to be seen but a low, grassy plain that gave way to trees about a half mile away. They stopped when they were far enough from the gate that the jumper could follow them through.

They watched as it cloaked and moved off toward their right. "Colonel Sheppard, this is Lorne. I think I found what you're looking for."

"What is it, Major?"

"There's a Wraith hive ship on the ground about 30 clicks from here. There are only about twenty life signs though."

"Awfully small for a hive." Ronon said, his hand on the hilt of the Colt.

"I still can't feel Sam at all." Dean said.

"Me either." John answered. "But I'm betting that's where he is."

"So what's the plan?" Ronon asked.

John sighed and pulled a hand through his hair. "I guess, at this point to follow Sam's plan, which as I understand it involves you…doing what you do."

Dean nodded, "And not telling us what that is. If I'm reading his intention he thinks the demon can sense his thoughts, knows what he would plan, and by extension that includes us. He doesn't know shit about you."

"In the meantime, we take out as many of his as we can." John added.

"You know he could have stuffed demons into all of them." Dean said. "Putting them down won't be easy."

"It never is." John said. "It never is. On the bright side, I don't feel like I'm going to pass out anymore."

Dean shook his head with a snort. "Yeah, we've got 'em on the ropes now."

Sam made no attempt at hiding when he came through the gate. He set off at a jog, following a path he'd dreamed for weeks. His head was buzzing with the power that had exploded through him and it was nothing to put down the two Wraith standing guard at the gate, yanking the demons from them was all it took for them to fall down dead.

Meg was nearby, Sam could feel her. Some part of him craved what she could give him. More of this, more power. She could make him unstoppable.

He could see the ship as he paused in the tree line, his heart racing a little, his head starting to feel a little fuzzy. Then everything righted itself and he knew Dean and John were there. Dean was reaching for him, but Sam kept his focus, kept himself out of Dean's reach. He needed the focus.

He pushed all thoughts of Dean and John and whatever plan they might have deep down. They were not a part of what he needed to do. Sam squared his shoulders and set out for the ship. The Yellow Eyed demon was inside there. Waiting.

Sam was pretty sure that he was expected. The door was open when he reached it and the first two Wraith he encountered stepped aside and let them by. He followed the pull of his dreams, leading him down into the belly of the ship, into a room that looked suspiciously like a throne room.

He recognized Meg as she sidled up to a male Wraith who sat on the throne. Memory flashed through him of when he'd last seen her, but he shoved it away.

"Samuel Winchester, it's about time you joined us." He stood, watching Sam as he descended the three stairs from the throne platform. His eyes flicked to the Wraith on the perimeter of the room. "Go, make sure we aren't disturbed."

"I'm not here to join you." Sam said, taking a step closer. "I told you before, I'm not interested."

"Yes, I recall." The demon smiled at him. "But that was before you knew what I could do for you. Now, you've had a taste."

"I'm here to send you back to hell." Sam said.

He laughed, circling Sam. "Is that what you've come to do? Really, Sam? Do you think you're strong enough for that?" His hand shot out and caught Sam in the chest, almost instantly sucking at his life. Sam's knees buckled and he went down, breaking the connection. "Isn't this meatsuit amazing?"

He held up the hand, flexing the fingers. "I could kill you with this. I could make you more powerful than you ever dreamed with it too." That hand came back and Sam gasped as life soared back into him, fire and power and strength in abundance.

He staggered to his feet and pulled away, lifting his gun. "Enough. I don't know what it is you want with me, but I really don't care either."

"Well, I'll be honest with you, Sammy. What I wanted when you were a baby is not what I want now. There was this whole plan….you and me, starting the apocalypse, raising Lucifer from the pits of hell to reign over earth…it would have been glorious, Sammy." He strolled back to the throne and sat, one leg casually thrown over the arm. "But now we're here….and here is a wonderful place. Forget ruling earth. Here, we could rule the galaxy."

"This is starting to sound like a bad movie." Sam said, feeling the power inside him build. "Maybe I should kill you before you start monologuing." He reached out, felt for the edges of the demon and grabbed hold.

He laughed. "Are you strong enough for that yet, Sam? Did I give you enough juice?"

Sam pulled harder, and for a minute thought it was working, then there was a hand on his thigh and the power drained out of him. He nearly passed out as he crashed to the floor, ending up with Meg squatting over him, her hand still on his thigh. "You still taste good, Sam. I could eat you up."

"Okay, that's enough. Give it back. I think he's learned his lesson."

Her hand rubbed over the skin exposed through the tear in his pants, her smile sickening as she rolled her eyes, but complied with the order. Sam waited until she started to pull her hand away, then yanked at the demon inside her, succeeding in pulling it out and squeezing it dead.

"You learn fast, Sammy." He was on his feet again, moving fast. Sam could feel his power, pressure against his chest, shoving him back and then lifting him from his feet. "You're a smart boy, can't you see what I'm offering?"

Sam pushed back at him with all his strength, succeeding at least in getting his feet back on the ground. There were others coming now, more Wraith…but they weren't alone.

"Oh, here comes big brother." The demon's head turned and Sam didn't have to look to know Dean was there, pinned against the wall. "Did he fuck you last night, Sam? Or was that the Colonel?"

"Sam!" Dean was struggling and John yelled as invisible hands dragged him across the floor. With them both in the room, it was harder for Sam to keep them blocked out, keep his focus on the demon.

"Stop." Sam stepped trying to pull out of the invisible grip, sagged a little and let the demon pull him closer. "Leave them alone."

"I promised you I would bleed them both, burn them."

Sam shook his head. "You don't have to." He let all the frustration of the last months, all the disagreements, all of the times he felt smothered fill him up and he met the demon's eyes. "Let me do it."

That pulled the demon's attention back to him. "What's that Sam? You want to gut them?"

"Give me the juice." Sam said, his voice dark and low. "They won't know what hit them."

The demon's smile grew. "Do you think I would trust you with that much power? I thought I had you in that desert and you betrayed me."

"Can you feel what I'm feeling?" Sam asked. He ripped his shirt open, letting the walls between him and Dean and John fall, letting their minds snap together, filling up with the pain and anger and fear they shared, letting it swell out of proportion to all the rest of the emotion and pushing all of it at the demon. "You want me to do it, don't you? Kill them? The way I did Meg? I can, you know? Just need more power."

The demon's hand moved to Sam's already marked chest and pressed against the skin. Sam's eyes rolled closed as the power flowed into him, through him, into Dean and John, building and feeding back to him until everything went white.

Sam opened his eyes as the hand left him. The demon's eyes were wide, it's mouth open as light cracked around the open wound in his head. He fell backwards, and Ronon moved out of the way, the Colt in his hand still smoking.

Sam staggered backward, his senses blown open. Dean and John mirrored his movements, their eyes on him. "Is he dead?" Sam asked, though it sounded to him like they'd all spoken together.

Ronon nodded and kicked him. "Think so."

The other Wraith were still coming and Sam turned, raising a hand as the first of them entered the room, growling and dripping with fury. It seemed almost effortless to pull the demon and dump the dead Wraith. Dean and John moved closer, their hands out stretched as they joined him.

"Teyla." Sam could almost see her and Rodney, trying to hold off two Wraith near the engine room. Together, the three of them turned and set off at a run with Ronon behind them. Every Wraith they encountered, they put down . The two pinning down Teyla and Rodney were full of bullet holes, only the demon within keeping them alive.

They went down and Ronon yelled for Teyla and Rodney to hurry. Sam could feel the separation starting, thoughts blurring, Dean and John moving on their own. It made him a little dizzy. His head was abuzz with their thoughts, with images of people and places, memories that he was pretty sure weren't his own. He reached for Dean as his knees buckled, the input too much for him to handle.

"We gotta move."

"Sam, come on Sam."

He tried to pull himself up, but stumbled and landed on the floor. Big hands pulled him up, hefted him until he was over Ronon's shoulder and they set off at a jog.

Sam was vaguely aware of the air outside the ship, of the sharp smell of explosives, the force of a blast, then he could feel John telling him to sleep, to rest, that it was over.

Before he was even aware that he was awake, Sam was aware of Dean, in the bed beside his, of John in the bed beside that, of Ronon in a chair, watching. He could sense the doctors and nurses, the machines, the city itself. He was home in Atlantis. The Yellow Eyed demon was dead. They were free.

Sam opened his eyes and the room settled into view. Ronon was up instantly and at his side. "Hey."

"Hey." Sam responded, his voice sounding strange, grassly and low.

Carson appeared, stethoscope in hand. "Ah, you're awake finally."

"Finally?" Sam asked, looking up at Ronon.

"Three days." Ronon offered.

"Three days?" Sam frowned. "What happened?"

"You passed out, then Dean did, then John." Ronon responded. "We barely got all of you out of the ship before it blew."

"And you've been unconscious since you got back." Carson added, moving in to listen to his heart. When he was satisfied, he stepped back. "How are you feeling?"

Sam gave himself a once over mentally. He was sore all over, but not hurt. Dean was waking up, John too. "Oh." Sam turned to look at them, then at Carson. "The collars….they're gone."

Carson nodded. "When we got you under the scanner it looked like the technology had just vanished."

Sam shook his head. "No, it was…overloaded." But he could still feel John and Dean just the same."

"Gone?" Dean asked, his hand rubbing over his neck.

"Why does it still feel like they're there?" John asked.

Sam shrugged. "Must have something to do with what the demon did."

"I feel fine." John said.

"Better than." Dean added, nodding.

"I'll be the judge of that, young man." Carson said, turning to a nurse to order a bunch of tests. Sam settled back against his pillows, closing his eyes and letting the familiar wash over him.

Dean watch Sam out on the balcony. There was contentment and peace emanating from his brother, emotions he'd never really associated with his family. They were finally safe. The monster that had started them on the path that had led them here was dead. They were free of the technology that had bound them here for the last year.

They could go home.

Sam leaned forward, put his head on his hands on the railing. Sam was home. Dean knew it without asking. John had asked him if he wanted to stay and Dean couldn't answer. Some part of him did. Some part of him loved the family they had become. Maybe even some part of him loved John.

He stepped out onto the balcony, into the warmth of the late afternoon sun. Sam turned to him when he got close, his lips finding Dean's easily, licking over them. Dean surrendered to the kiss, parting his lips and letting Sam lead. It was comforting. Familiar.

Sam's hands lifted to hold Dean's face, their bodies lining up. Heat flared in Dean's stomach, desire and lust spreading through him. There was an echo of it coming from Sam, and other from John who was nearby. Sam reached out for John, even as he tugged on Dean's hands, pulling him back toward the room.

The room was warm and Sam's hands on his skin were hot, pulling at his clothes until they had to separate enough to get them off. John's hands were warm too as they slid over Dean's hips, his lips kissing over Dean's shoulders. John held him as he stepped out of his pants, then guided him back toward Sam, who had been joined by Ronon.

As Sam kissed him, Ronon's hand circled Dean's cock and John's lips closed on the side of his neck and when he closed his eyes, Dean could feel Ronon doing the Sam to Sam, feel John's hand on Sam's cock. John and Ronon moved them closer together, lining up their cocks, each of them working over both cocks at once until Dean thought he could come just like that.

Sam was first to break the moment, turning to kiss Ronon, all open mouth and hungry. Dean followed, pulling Ronon in as Sam let go, lips and teeth clashing, Ronon's big hands pushing him toward the bed. There was more clothing coming off and Sam climbing over Dean, his hard cock rubbing through Dean's crack, then Ronon was behind Sam, his fingers pushing into Dean, warm lube easing the way before his slick fingers guided Sam's cock to Dean's hole.

Dean held his breath as he was simultaneously filled and felt as though he was pushing into a hot ass. Then Sam was deep inside him and kissing him and Dean gasped as Ronon's fingers moved inside of Sam, opening him up, filling him up until Dean almost couldn't breathe around the sensation. Ronon and Sam moved almost as one, pressing Sam into Dean and out again.

He felt, more than saw John kneeling beside him, opening his mouth for John's already dripping cock. A hand circled his cock and it was all too much for him, orgasm ripping through him quickly, smearing come over his stomach. John slipped in and out of Dean's mouth, the salt of his precome coating Dean's tongue. Ronon's movements were slow but hard and Sam's cock was hot inside him, filling him as Sam came.

Sam's head fell back against Ronon's shoulder, the long column of his neck exposed. Dean wanted to lick it, swallowing the salty taste as John did the licking. Sam's hand curled around John's cock, keeping rhythm with Ronon until they both groaned and heat filled the air as they came as one.

Sam slid down to lay beside Dean, kissing him before pulling John in to kiss as well. "Does this mean you're staying?" John asked softly.

Sam looked at Dean but didn't say anything. Dean nodded. "Yeah, we're staying."

John smiled and leaned over Sam to kiss Dean. "Welcome home."

Home. It was something they hadn't had in a while, outside of each other.

Don't Think We're in Kansas, Final Chapter (in 2 parts) Stargate SGA/Supernatural, NC-17

2015-07-25T20:29:08Z

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis/Supernatural
Title: Don't Think We're in Kansas, Part 16 (in two posts)
Characters/Pairings: John Sheppard/Sam Winchester/ Dean Winchester, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, YED
Word Count: 10259
Rating: NC-17
Summary: The Yellow Eyed Demon has found his way to the Pegasus galaxy, and he still has his eyes set on Sam, but his plans don't take into account that Sam isn't the boy he once was, and the gifts the demon has given him are augmented by the technology that binds him to John and Dean. If Sam gives in to the temptation of power, they could destroy the galaxy. But Sam isn't alone anymore, and no one is prepared for what happens when demon juiced Wraith enzyme comes into play.

A/Ns & Warnings: And here we are, at the end. Thank you to everyone who came along for the ride. Sorry it took so long to get here. Onward to the next adventure.

Sam and Dean moved in tandem behind John, covering ground quickly through the Wraith ship. "Rodney, how's your end?" John asked across the open signal.

"Five more minutes." Rodney's voice sounded in Sam's ear.

"You've got two." John replied.

They turned a corner and Sam "saw" the Wraith seconds before either of the others, his hand shooting out to grab the back of John's vest and yank him back, shoving Dean into the adjoining hallway just as two stunner blasts flew past them.

Sam turned and shot, taking down the Wraith before either John or Dean had fully recovered. "Everyone okay?"

"What was that?" John asked and Sam could feel him asking with more than his voice.

Sam shrugged, not entirely certain himself. "I just…I knew he was there."

Dean frowned at him and pushed off the wall he'd ended up leaning against. "You're starting to get creepy with that shit, Sam."

He could feel the relief though and he offered a tight smile as John set out again. "Daedalus, this is Sheppard. We are moving into position."

"Ready to beam you out, Colonel."

"Roger. Stand by."

They turned another corner, and Sam felt the satisfaction and spike of desire as John spotted Ronon, who had been sent to watch Rodney's back while he got what they needed from the Wraith computers. "You set the C-4?" John asked.

Ronon nodded. "He's nearly finished."

"Rodney, get a move on." John called into the room behind Ronon.

"Sam."

Sam turned toward the sound, shaking his head as he took a step away. Dean's hand was on his arm, but he felt strangely distant as something….someone else pulled on his attention.

"Sam?" Dean was concerned and Sam wanted to reassure him, but someone was coming. He felt it…him…

"Sammy, you know what I want."

He took another step as a shadow moved into view down the hallway. "Come to me, Sam."

There was an odd sensation and everything tilted. The odd pull on his thoughts cracked and suddenly he was on his knees aboard the Daedalus, his nose bleeding. John and Dean were at his side instantly, pulling him up and holding him between them as they made for the infirmary.

He couldn't contain the fear rolling through him and he knew the others could feel it, but he said nothing until one of the nurses got his nose to stop bleeding and had cleaned up his face. When she left them alone to await the doctor, Sam swallowed and looked up at his brother and John.

"It was him."

"You don't know that." Dean said, crossing his arms and looking away.

"I do know that. I could…feel him." Sam said, pushing down the panic that came with knowing that Meg had somehow succeeded in bringing the Yellow Eyed Demon to the Pegasus Galaxy.

"Well, by now he's space dust then." John said, unconsciously mimicking Dean's stance , then shifting as he realized it.

Sam shook his head lightly. "No, he'll get off the ship somehow." He knew it was true, despite the fact that their well placed explosives would completely cripple the ship, even if the secondary explosions they were meant to trigger didn't explode the whole thing.

"Are you sure it was him?" John asked.

Sam nodded and John echoed the nod. "Okay, I'm going up to the bridge to make sure we took out the Hive ship and start scanning the area for a dart or other way he could have escaped. You stay here until the doc clears you."

He laid back against the pillows on the bed, his head replaying the dreams he'd been having nearly every night since they had found that sigil in that burned out village…endless images of Dean and John dying, sticky heat of their blood on his face, the taste of power and blood on his tongue.

"Stop." Dean said softly. "I keep telling you he can't have you."

"I know." Sam replied, not looking at him. "I know you keep saying it. Doesn't make it true though." He swallowed. "I've seen it Dean. I've seen you dying and I've seen me giving in, letting him change me."

"He's using your dreams to scare you, Sam, to drive you. You can't let him."

Sam sighed. "Easy for you to say."

Dean sat beside him on the bed. "I know. Tell me what else I can do."

Sam licked his lips in took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Every dream and vision is showing me a little more." He took his brother's hand and held it. "I need you to trust me, even when it looks like I'm about to do something…" He looked up at his brother. "Just trust that you're right, that I won't go darkside. Believe in that for me, okay?"

Dean nodded slowly. He pulled his hand free as the doctor approached, her stethoscope in hand. Sam submitted without complaint to her exam and even to the suggestion that he see Carson for yet another scan when they got back to Atlantis. It was easier than insisting he was all right.

John Sheppard was tired. For nearly a month they had been searching for the demon Meg and whatever or whoever she had managed to bring through that sigil. It had been a month in which they had all sustained injuries, a month of false alarms and near misses, and he was tired.

And if he was tired, he knew the boys had to be too. There wasn't a mission that didn't end with Sam bleeding from the nose after some vision or something. The exhaustion was starting to show. Tempers were thin and they spent far more time arguing than they did engaging in entertaining each other.

He'd pulled them from rotation and ordered the entire team some down time as soon as the Daedalus had brought them home. He was just dropping his mission reports off with Elizabeth, and then he planned to get a long night's sleep in.

"Ah, Colonel Sheppard, I was going to have Elizabeth call you." Carson said as they both reached the stairs in the gate room at the same time.

"Something wrong?"

"I'm not sure, actually." Carson said. "It's about Sam."

"Shouldn't he be here for this conversation?" John asked as Elizabeth waved them in.

"Aye, probably, but I've given him something to make him sleep."

"And Dean?" Not that he needed Carson to know that Dean was worried, but not apparently with Sam.

"Last I saw of him, he was headed to the gym with Ronon."

"Gentlemen?" Elizabeth looked at them each in turn before they all sat. John put his tablet on her desk and they both looked expectantly at Carson. "How's our boy?"

"He's sleeping now. He should be feeling better by morning." Carson said. "However, I have been noticing something peculiar in his scans. There's an increase in his brain activity, even while heavily sedated. "

"What kind of increase?" John asked.

"And is it dangerous?" Elizabeth added.

"There's no way to know for certain, I'm afraid. At least not yet. I've run a few tests, and so far we've ruled out any tumors or other abnormalities. The area of the brain that seems to be the most active is also the area of the brain affected by the technology that binds those two boys to Colonel Sheppard."

"Which explains why we've been in each other's heads more than before." John said. "Ever since that trip back to earth, Sam's control has gotten stronger, but lately, Dean and I have been…catching up to him? I'm not sure how to explain it. But it's safe to say that these….things were never meant to work like this."

"I want your team on stand down until Carson clears this up." Elizabeth said.

John nodded. "Already down. We're exhausted anyway." He stood. "I'm going to go check on Sam."

He headed for the infirmary, not certain why, but feeling a sense of urgency. He nodded to one of the nurses, his eyes tracking around the room. Sam was the only patient there, and there was someone standing by Sam's bed, his back to John.

He crossed cautiously, though the man was in uniform, and as John got closer, he thought maybe it was one of the new rotation of crewmen that had come on the Daedalus. He stepped back and John could feel Sam stirring, some dream chasing him up into consciousness, though it was fuzzy and heavy with the sedative.

"Excuse me."

The lieutenant turned to John and snapped to attention before hiding his hand behind his back. "Sorry, sir. I heard someone say that his name was Sam Winchester. I went to Stanford with a Sam Winchester. I just…I wanted to see if it was the same guy."

"And?"

The young man smiled and shook his head. "Nope, not him. Shame. He still owes me twenty bucks."

"He needs his rest, you get on out of here."

"Yes sir." He saluted again and left quickly.

John sidled up to the bed as Sam's eyes opened. "Hey, you should be asleep."

Sam's face scrunched up and John could feel his confusion and an echo of the nightmare. "Dream." Sam mumbled, and John thought his teeth looked a little bloody.

"Want me to stay?" John asked, sliding a hand over Sam's.

His eyes were already closing, but he sort of nodded as John hitched a hip up to sit beside him. Somehow he knew he'd stopped something terrible from happening, he just wasn't sure what, and for the foreseeable future, John wasn't willing to leave Sam alone.

Sam finished a run around the city out on the pier, pausing to swallow down some water and look out over the ocean. It had been a quiet couple of days, despite the constant company. He could hear John in his head, bitching that Sam wasn't where he'd left him and he turned. "I know, I--"

He was alone on the pier. Sam frowned and reached out for John mentally, sending reassurance, and opening up further when he felt Dean too. They were both anxious and clearly hadn't told him all the reasons why. He pushed a little, but only got vague ideas of trouble and echoes of his own nightmares.

Sam sighed and set into a jog, headed back to his room, and letting John and Dean both know that was where he'd be. He let himself in and headed in to shower. He felt them coming, felt them all but inside him and it was disconcerting for a moment as things blurred and blended before they all separated into individual beings again.

They were waiting for him when he came out of the shower, towel slung low across his hips. "Told you I was fine."

"And I told you to stay where I left you." John said, his voice dark with concern.

"You're being paranoid." Sam replied, scrubbing at his hair with another towel. "There hasn't been a headache or a vision or a nose bleed in days. I'm sleeping better than I have in forever. Whatever it is Carson gave me is working."

There was a deep unease in John that wasn't settling though. Sam could feel it, almost as if it were his own. Sam swallowed and stepped closer, kissing him lightly. "I'm fine."

"You're still having nightmares." Dean said, crossing his arms.

"I've always had nightmares, Dean."

"Not like these."

Sam sighed and sat on the end of his bed. "No, not like these. These are….bloody and powerful and I wake up feeling like I could tear through the walls with my bare hands." He pulled his hands through his hair and looked up at his brother. "I'm handling it."

"Yeah, well, we aren't." John said, sitting beside him.

Sam caught an echo of the dream that had pulled him up out of the dark in the early hours, before the sun had even started to come up, coming from both of them. "Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't know…"

"We're not blaming you." Dean said. "Just trying to figure out what's going on."

Sam had been pondering that on his run. "This is going to sound crazy." He got up again, pacing away, and half way back again before stopping and licking his lips. "It almost feels like…" He shook his head. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but in the dream, just before I wake up, it feels just like it did when Meg was torturing me."

John frowned. "What, like when she was pumping life back into you?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, exactly like."

"How is that possible?" Dean asked, eyeing John. "Could one of those things get in here without us knowing?"

John shook his head. "No. The city's sensors would pick it up."

"What then?"

John sighed and bit his lip. "By my figuring, you only have them when you sleep alone."

"The ones like that, yeah." Sam agreed. "Which is why you've been keeping me so close."

"Actually, I've been worried that the Daedalus brought us more friends from earth to play with, but they're gone now."

"Doesn't mean a demon didn't hitch a ride and jump ships once it got here." Dean observed.

"I'm wondering now if whoever that is has been doing something to Sam on the nights we're not here." John said.

"That's creepy." Sam said with a shiver. "Like what?"

"I don't know, but we're going to find out. Get dressed and meet me in McKay's lab."

"This is weird." Dean said, shaking his head and getting up to pace around his room. It was nearly two thirty in the morning and he and John were taking turns watching the bank of monitors feeding them live video of Sam's room, the hallway outside and the balcony off Sam's room from different angles.

"So you've said." John answered, his voice tired. Dean moved to stand beside him, settling his hands to John's shoulders to rub at the tense muscles.

"I mean, the cameras." Dean clarified as he felt John relax a little under his fingers. "I'm usually right there."

"Can't catch whoever or whatever is doing this if you're in there." John responded, looking up at him.

"We should have put a devil's trap above the door." Dean muttered.

"Sheppard, there's movement in the hallway." Ronon's voice came softly over the earpieces.

"Roger that. Stay sharp."

Dean and John both turned to the screens showing the hallway. A shadow passed the first camera, but it wasn't until the third that they saw the person casting that shadow. It was a lab tech that Dean had seen around, but couldn't remember the guy's name. He moved quickly and quietly to Sam's door.

Ronon moved just as quietly behind him, his gun in his hand. Dean and John watched the screen until the door closed, then darted for the door. Dean squatted outside the door to draw the devil's trap quickly, so the bastard couldn't get out of the room.

When he was done, he nodded and Ronon swiped his hand over the door lock, charging in immediately, with Dean and John on his heels. Sam's dream was ratcheting up, spilling over into Dean's head. There was memory mixed with fears and blood, echoes of visions, tragedies they couldn't prevent.

"Stop." John said, his gun leveled at the man who was standing at Sam's bedside.

He lifted his hands and Dean frowned. The fingers of the man's left hand were bleeding, and in his right was a needle. "I'm not finished yet, Dean." The man turned to face him.

"Step away from my brother." Dean growled, his own gun up now as he stepped closer.

"I'm just giving him his medicine. Isn't that right, Sammy?"

Sam was fighting his way out of the dream, shaking his head as he sat up. "Dean?" Groggy gave way to disgust and Sam wiped his face, sticking out his tongue and wiping that on the back of his hand too. "What the hell did he do?"

There was blood smearing the back of Sam's hand, and it was on his lips now too. Dean took a threatening step toward the intruder. "What did you do?"

"Relax, it's just a little blood. Gets him juiced up. Can you feel it, Sam? Don't you want more?"

Sam climbed out of the bed and took the syringe from him, crossing to Dean's side. "And this?"

The man smiled. "Oh, now, that's just special. Straight from Daddy, that is. You think the blood gets you going? That right there is better than an entire body full of demon blood, Sammy. Jack you up until you think you could fly."

Sam was shaking beside him and Dean couldn't begin to keep up with the thoughts and feelings running through him. Sam moved to the nightstand and pulled the Colt out, checking the load and stepping in close.

"Sam, don't." Dean warned. "There's an innocent person in there."

"If we let it get out, it will just come back as someone else." Sam said, the barrel of the gun against the man's ear.

"If we kill this man just to kill the demon…" Dean shook his head. "We exorcise him."

"He hasn't been in your head, Dean. You only get the echoes. " Sam looked at John and Ronon, then back at Dean. "Besides, where would the demon go if we exorcised it here?"

"I don't know, but killing the innocent isn't our way."

Dean reached for him mentally, attempting to use the connection between them to convince Sam he was right. Sam's lowered the gun, but he was still shaking.

"Sheppard." Ronon's voice pulled Dean's attention to the nightstand behind Sam. The stuff on it was levitating.

"That's it, Sammy, let it out." The intruder was grinning.

Sam's mind was white, not blanked out, but Dean couldn't read anything beyond fury, white hot and ready to explode. The floating glass shattered and their father's journal flew across the room. "Sam?"

"Come on, Sammy, you can do better than that."

Sam screamed and Dean could feel the power that shot out around them. Somewhere behind him glass was breaking, as his knees buckled and Sam's fury dumped into him, hot and filling up all the space inside him until he was sure he was going to explode.

Then everything went silent and after a few minutes he could lift his head. His nose was bleeding and his head was wringing. A quick glance told him that John was in a similar condition. Both Sam and the lab tech were unconscious. The only one still standing was Ronon, who holstered his gun before he reached to help John get up.

Dean crawled until he could reach Sam, reaching to make sure he was okay. "You shoot him?" he asked Ronon as the big man helped him to his feet.

"Seemed logical. Shot 'em both."

Dean frowned and looked down at the lab tech. "Anything come out of him?"

Ronon shook his head. "Nope. Took two shots to put him down though."

Dean nodded. "Okay, we need to get him into a cell, with a devil's trap to keep the demon from smoking out."

"What about Sam?" John asked, squatting beside him.

"Infirmary?" Ronon asked and Dean nodded. At least that way he'd be safe.

"So, how exactly do you torture a demon?" John asked as Dean joined him at the table in the mess hall.

"Holy water mostly." Dean said before taking a bite out of his sandwich. "How's Sam?"

"Like you don't know as well as I do?" John asked, rubbing his forehead.

Dean sort of shrugged. "Trying not to…I don't know….just, it feels weird, okay?"

"Well, apparently Carson thinks that whatever that demon was doing has been expanding the neural pathways that were formed when we got the…technology."

"So…what does that mean?"

John sighed. "We're not sure. But it seems to be making him more receptive. And on top of that, he's clearly transmitting more than before, if my nightmares are any indication. And there's the whole floating and breaking thing."

"I hear that." Dean dropped his sandwich and met John's eye. "When it comes down to it, if I'm not actively blocking him, I sometimes can't tell if what I'm feeling is me or him."

John nodded. "What about our guest? He say anything?"

Dean shook his head. "Just your average demon grandstanding. His father will kill us all. We are no match for what is coming. Yadda yadda."

"Any idea what that is?" John asked. "The what is coming part?"

"The end of the world or some such. This Yellow Eyed demon, he's been planning something for a very long time. Not so sure how we got wrapped up in it, but we are now, so it's up to us to end this."

"I thought we killed him when we blew up that hive."

"Apparently not." Dean finished his sandwich and washed it down with a bottle of water. "At least not as far as this guy knows. He only knows he was sent here to get Sam ready."

"Ready for what?" John asked.

"Hell if I know. Did we find out what was in the syringe?"

John grimaced as he stood. "Yeah, it was Wraith enzyme. It's the stuff they pump into you while they're feeding, or when they're giving you back the life they took from you."

"Probably from the Daddy Demon himself." Dean said. John didn't need extra senses and technology to taste Dean's disgust. "I should get back. Maybe I can get a location out of him."

"And then what?" John asked, walking with Dean toward the door.

"I don't know. Exorcise him? If I knew it would send the demon back to hell…but, I don't. Not from here."

"Maybe we take him back to earth and do it there?" John suggested. "I can ask Elizabeth."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, good idea. If we knock him out and get him secure on the ship, then again when they get to earth…I could get someone to come do the exorcism."

"Let's focus a little closer to home right now. " John said as they reached the corridor that led down to the detention cells. "You see what information you can get. I'm going to check in with Carson."

Ronon was sitting with Sam when John got to the infirmary and he paused by the bed. "How you feeling?"

Sam rubbed at his head and his face scrunched up. "Headache, but otherwise, I'm fine."

"You gave us a good scare. I'm not gonna lie."

"Yeah, about that…" Sam shook his head. "I'm sorry. I don't…I have no idea…"

"Aye, but I'm starting to." Carson said as he joined them, pulling a computer monitor closer. "I've been going over Sam's scans, from the first time he came in through today." The monitor showed the image of a brain, slowly changing. "At first, I might have assumed that it was the collar causing this, but given what we know now from the blood sample we took from our guest, I'm certain that it has been serving as a catalyst. That, and the enzyme."

"So, he's been feeding me blood and injecting that stuff into me all along?" Sam asked, his eyes skipping from the screen to Carson, then John.

"Well, it's hard to tell for certain." Carson said, stopping the monitor and pointing. "This is the first big jump, before this it was all minor changes. Here though, you can see this whole section of your brain light up with activity. It also corresponds to the Daedalus arriving."

Ronon shook his head. "It wasn't Daedalus crew. There's no way they would have access to Wraith enzyme."

"True." John considered the other options. "Wait, didn't they pick up a stranded team on their way in?"

Ronon nodded. "Lt. Thomas and his team, stranded in space above Delfier with no idea how or why."

"Want to bet the Wraith hit Delfier right after that?" Sam asked, moving to get out of bed.

"Whoa, where do you think you're going?" John asked. There was a blast of frustration and exasperation and a flailing desire to do more coming from Sam, even as Ronon caught his shoulder.

"To talk to Thomas and his team. I'm tired of sitting here."

"No, Ronon and I can deal with them and we'll send a team to Delfier as well. You are staying here until Carson says otherwise."

Sam pushed Ronon back and stood. "There is nothing wrong with me. I'm fine. In fact, I'm better than fine. I feel great." Sam turned to face him and dropped all attempts to block himself from John, letting John feel the truth of his words. He was healthy, strong even.

"There's still the matter of you breaking glass with your mind." John said.

Sam wasn't letting up. "I've got it under control." He took the two steps toward John, crossing his arms. "I'm tired of waiting for them to do whatever it is they're going to do. It's time to take this fight to them."

"We don't have enough information." John countered. "Dean is trying to get us a location."

"Let me do it." Sam said. "I'll get it to talk."

"How?"

"I have an idea. I can't…explain exactly, just give me a chance."

"You brother won't like it." John warned.

Sam headed for the door. "No, he won't."

John and Ronon followed him down from the infirmary to the detention cells. Dean looked up as they came in, opening the door to the cell that held their prisoner. "Sam, what the hell-"

Sam pushed past him, into the cell, just shy of the devils' trap painted on the floor under the lab tech playing host to a demon. "Tell us where he is." Sam's voice was deep and dark and it made the demon laugh.

"There you are Sammy, come for more medicine?"

Sam reached out a hand and John felt a pull on his stomach, as if that hand were tied to his intestines. Sam's eyes closed and his hand slowly fisted, and the demon stopped laughing. He seemed to be choking.

"Sam?" Dean grabbed his brother's arm and the pull seemed to vanish.

Sam ignored his brother, still intent on the demon. "Tell me where he is."

The lab tech was gasping and gulping at air. His eyes were black. "You learn fast. I only put that part in your head last night."

"Tell us where he is." Sam repeated, pulling his arm free from Dean and grabbing at the air again. The demon sputtered something they couldn't understand and Sam released him. "Say it again."

"The symbols are in this meat suit's room," he gasped.

"Good." Sam reached out again and squeezed until the man was coughing up smoke.

"Sam?" Dean's voice was filled with fear, and it came over the connection between them very clearly. "What are you doing?"

But Sam was fading and his nose was bleeding. Dean grabbed his arm and John stepped closer, grabbing his shoulder, just as Sam lost his grip and stumbled backward. He collapsed, taking Dean and John with him.

"Oh you're not ready for that, yet Sammy boy. Maybe if you had let me finish giving him his medicine--" Ronon shot twice through the door of the cell and the lab tech slumped forward.

John's head was pounding, no…it was Sam's head, but for a moment he wasn't sure, then Ronon was pulling him out from under Sam and Dean was squatting over Sam who was unresponsive, even if the activity in his head was on fast forward. "You getting any of it?" John asked and Dean shook his head.

"It's a mess. Let's get him up and back to the infirmary."

That at least got through to Sam and he lurched upright, grabbing at the bars of the cell to keep from falling over. "No more infirmary. Just…Just need sleep."

"Sam--"

"No, Dean. I'm…okay…"

"Bullshit." Dean grabbed him and pulled him closer. "If you promise to take the pills. And sleep."

Sam nodded, and reached for John to support him on the other side. Together they walked him to his room, with Ronon bringing up the rear. John waited while Dean cleaned Sam's face up and gave him one of the sleeping pills Carson had given him, making sure he'd swallowed it before he was satisfied.

"Find the symbols." Sam muttered. "Time to stop this."

"You worry about sleeping, let me worry about the symbols." John said, pulling Dean and Ronon out into the hallway. "Are we sure he's safe here alone?"

"I'll stay." Ronon offered.

"Dean and I will go find this guy's quarters and see if we can find the gate address." John agreed. And then he was going to need to explain all of this to Elizabeth, somehow.

the path of purity

2015-07-02T20:03:24Z

Fandom: Stargate SG1
Title: the path of purity
Characters/Pairings: Cameron Mitchell/Daniel Jackson, Sam Carter
Word Count: 6385
Rating: NC17
Summary: Daniel Jackson and Cameron Mitchell are waiting in a borrowed cargo ship to rendezvous with Sam and the Daedalus when suddenly they find themselves prisoners of a religious sect that believes that the path of purity lies in keeping their body pure, but allows them to experience things forbidden to their body through a neural link with slaves that are forced to perform for their captors. They waste little time in letting Cameron and Daniel know exactly what is expected of them.

A/Ns & Warnings: This fic includes non-con, in which both participants are unable to give consent due to implants that force them to do as their captors please. There is also remembered non-con from the distant past and being forced to relive that event. Also Aliens Made Them Do it, Alien Technology, etc...

Daniel knew without opening his eyes that something had gone spectacularly wrong. The inside of his head felt vaguely like someone had used his brain for batting practice and his mouth was dry and metallic. He heard a groan to his left that sounded vaguely like Cameron, who must have felt about the same.

There was a female speaking a language he didn't understand not far from them, then hands, pulling his face up, turning his head. He squinted into far, far too much light, his eyes burning and watering. The woman was Castidian, judging by the vaguely blue tint of her skin and the flow of soft white robes from her shoulders.

The other he couldn't make out clearly, though he was darker skinned and dressed in worn leather and was clearly armed. Daniel squeezed his eyes shut to quell the increase in the pain in his head and hoped the Castidian woman was friendlier than the last one he'd met.

They were a society that was hard to read. Essentially human, though their skin was tinted in shades of blue, green or orange, dependent on some variant in the diet and environment he'd never been able to discern. They seemed a society divided between great piety and great debauchery, given to prayer and contemplation, or the pursuit of pleasure, nearly to the neglect of all other aspects of life.

This one wore the robes of the Pretorate, the Castidian's vowed to service, but they seldom left the comfort of their home world.

"Come now, gentleman." The woman said in lilting English. "I know you must be in pain, I will ease it for you."

Cameron groaned again and Daniel felt him shift, then hands were pulling him up, onto his feet. Sort of anyway. His legs were remarkably unsteady and the pounding in his head made it feel heavy, but he managed to stumble wherever the strong hands holding him up were taking him. He fought to pay attention but the pain was increasing and any minute he was going to lose the battle to even stay upright, but then he was being lowered onto something soft and the woman was back, her hand caressing over his cheek. "Sleep now, pretty one. The hunter's weapons are effective, but they are not pleasant. Sleep and this will all be but a dream."

She withdrew and Daniel wanted to follow her, ask her questions, but the pain in his head was too great and he sank into the darkness to get away from it.

"Jackson."

Daniel opened one eye to find Cameron's face just inches from his. "What?" He sat up slowly, running a hand over what felt like silk sheets as his eyes swept around a room that was draped with curtains and fabric with couches and beds , all in shades of gold and red and white. His eyes swept over Cameron's body, then his own. Their uniforms were gone and in their place they wore….he wasn't really sure what to call them. A waistband clung to the waist, though not tight enough to assure him it wouldn't fall down at the lightest touch. Strips of flimsy white fabric fell from the waistband down to cuffs at the ankle, giving the illusion of actually wearing pants while still leaving them very exposed.

Daniel reached up to rub at a sore spot on the back of his head. "Where are we?"

Cameron shook his head. "Was hoping you knew."

"Where are our clothes?"

"Woke up like this a few minutes ago." Cameron responded. "Door's locked, no windows. What do you remember?"

Daniel stood, adjusting his pants to attempt to retain some dignity. He frowned as he thought back. "We were in the shuttle, waiting for Sam to make contact."

Cam nodded. "Yeah, me too. "

Daniel inhaled deeply and let it out. As prison cells went, this was nicer than most. "Who do you think it is?"

"Well, I'm betting it isn't Ba'al." Cameron said. "Not his style."

"Not the Lucian Alliance either." Daniel observed dryly. He had a passing thought about something Vala had said and he wandered to the nearest wall, moving aside the layers of fabric to find solid stone. "Well, we aren't on a ship."

"What's that look?" Cameron asked as he approached.

"Something Vala said, about Castidians and Molarks in this …that area." Daniel shook his head.

"Aren't they the monk like people?" Cameron frowned at him, but before Daniel could answer, a door opened and a tall, stately woman glided into the room, her clothing barely covering her essentials and yet flowing and graceful at the same time. Her blue skin glistened and her bald head inclined to them as she stopped just inside the door.

"Good, it is well that you are awake. I had worried the Hunter's weapon had caused more damage than we were able to see."

Cameron took a step toward her. "Who are you and why are we here?"

"You may address me as Maless and you are here because I desire you to be here."

"You may, but we don't, so I suggest you give us back our clothes and let us go." Cameron growled, his hands on his hips, then crossed his arms in front of him, but neither looked particularly dangerous in those not-pants.

She smiled, though Daniel found it more predatory than anything. "Come, we will get started now."

"Started on what?" Daniel asked, but she waved a hand and turned and he found himself following, with Cam right beside him. The door opened into a hallway with exquisitely carved walls and they were led past several doors before one opened and they came into a circular room all in white, with chairs along the walls and in the center, on a raised platform, was what looked like a circular bed.

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" Cameron asked as they stopped beside the bed.

Daniel shook his head and looked to their captor. "Excuse me, Maless…what is it that you want with us?"

She smiled that same predatory smile and dragged a chair closer to them before sitting dramatically. "This is just a test, so I can see how you perform."

"Perform?" Cameron asked.

"Both of you, sit on the bed."

"Wait a minute." Cameron held up a hand. "I think you need to explain."

Daniel's feet moved toward the first step up to the bed, though he was fairly sure he hadn't meant to move. There was a light buzzing in the back of his head and no matter how he tried he couldn't go back to Cameron's side.

She stood, walking up to Cameron, standing very close. Her hand was doing something and she whispered to him and when she stepped away, Cameron moved toward Daniel, and he could see what she had been doing, because Cameron was hard, his dick sticking up through the strips of material.

"That's better. Now then, kiss."

Daniel sank to sit on the bed, Cameron right beside him, frowning, but he turned to look at her. "We don't…we're not…"

She raised an eyebrow and Cameron leaned closer to Daniel, his eyes closing as their lips brushed together.

"Mitchell!" Daniel's hand was on Cameron's chest and Daniel pulled the rest of himself back, except he didn't actually move. Cameron's hand rose up, caressing along Daniel's cheek and then cupping to the back of his head, pulling him in as he brought their mouths together again, his tongue sliding along Daniel's lips before pushing in.

Daniel's eyes closed and his body relaxed into the kiss, despite the way his heart was hammering and in the back of his mind was a voice repeating protests. "Stop." Daniel whispered the word as they separated briefly, before Cameron was pressing him back to the bed, laying over him. Cameron's cock pressed against Daniel's leg, rubbing in the crease of his hip and Daniel's cock stirred, despite the way everything inside him was screaming.

Cameron's mouth traveled down Daniel's neck, over his chest, and as his lips closed around a nipple, his hand found Daniel's cock and began stroking it. Daniel managed to get both hands on Cameron's chest, pushing against his weight. Cameron responded by tightening his grip on Daniel's cock.

"Mitchell!" Daniel pushed harder, struggling in earnest now to get out from under him, but his body responded sluggishly. "Get off me!"

Suddenly, the woman clapped twice and stood. Cameron stood, his face red, his cock still hard and sticking out. She smiled wide. "Yes, I like this struggle. You will rest now, and prepare. Tonight you will debut here. Come."

Daniel sat up slowly, feeling the pull to follow her and trying to resist. It only lasted a moment before he was on his feet, falling into step beside Cameron, following her back to the room they had woken in. Cameron seemed to come back to himself a little, shaking his head and frowning at the woman. "Debut what?"

She patted his arm. "You will be stars here, my palakas. Tonight you will perform before the Pretorate."

"Perform what?" Cameron demanded, his voice a dark growl.

Her eyebrow lifted and that predatory smile came back to her face. "Tonight, dear palaka, you will rape your friend while we watch."

Daniel stood stunned as she swept from the room, the word echoing around in his head, conjuring long forbidden memories he had buried a lifetime ago. He clamped down on it, shoved it back behind it's wall and turned to face Cameron.

"Did she just say…" Cameron's voice trailed off as he shook his head and turned from the door, pacing to the back of the room and rubbing at the back of his head.

"Yes, she did." Daniel said, following him.

"No, because what I heard---" The red in Cameron's face deepened and he was shaking his head. "I…I couldn't…" He stopped, looking anywhere but at Daniel's face. "In there, I couldn't stop. I was screaming at myself to stop and I just…I couldn't."

Daniel nodded, sinking into one of the chairs. His heart was racing, his body hot and tight with fear he didn't want to acknowledge. "I know. I should have been able to….do something, but I couldn't. It was like I wasn't in control of my own body."

"Exactly like." Cameron paced to the door, then back. "We can't stay here. We need to get out of here."

"I'm not arguing." Daniel agreed. "What do you suggest?"

Cameron stopped pacing and looked at him. "I'm guessing reasoning with her is out of the question."

"Judging from our experience so far, I'm going to agree."

"You're too calm." Cameron went back to pacing. "How are you so calm?"

"I'm not." Daniel argued. In fact, he was pretty sure that if he let himself think about it, he would be in the same state, or worse. "I just don't see what good it will do us to freak out."

"You don't see--Did you hear what she said?"

"I heard." Daniel responded.

"She expects me to---" Cameron gestured wildly at him. "…and you…."

"Won't be able to stop you." Daniel replied, breathing in deep and letting it out slowly. "I think she was controlling us somehow."

"Well, I say we figure out how or figure out a way out or something." He went to the walls and started pulling on the fabric that covered it, revealing nothing but a grey stone surface. Daniel stood, though he was pretty sure they wouldn't find anything they could use, and joined him in exposing the walls.

Twenty minutes later, the walls were bare, and Cameron was cursing as he tried to pry the door open with a chair leg, then attacking the door with the wooden leg until he was huffing with the exertion and Daniel pulled him away. "Stop." He took the chair leg out of his hand and walked away. "Just…let's take a minute."

Daniel threw the chair leg into the corner and scrubbed his hands over his face. It was a pretty safe bet that they were not getting out of this, at least not without help…and Sam wouldn't even begin to know where to look for them.

"Cameron, come here." Cameron was rubbing the back of his head. Daniel, turned him, his fingers brushing over the base of his neck, up to the place where his own head ached slightly. "There's something…" A small wound, closed, mostly healed, but under the skin there was…something.

Cameron turned and grabbed him, examining the back of his head the same way. "She put something in our heads?"

"Would explain the control." Daniel offered. He licked his lips and exhaled. "Look, this isn't a conversation I ever wanted to have with you…but just…" He shook his head and sank to a seat on the bed. "I've…well, I mean…"

"Jackson." Cameron's face was red and his hands gestured for him to just spit it out.

"Okay, yeah. Right. I'm not a…virgin." He didn't look up. "I've had sex…with men…before."

The bed sank beside him as Cameron sat. "You have?"

Daniel nodded. "It's been a while, but yeah."

"That doesn't make this better." Cameron said, his voice soft.

Daniel looked at him. "I know."

"Well, if we're playing true confessions here. I should say that I have too. Also a long time ago, and only the one guy."

Daniel exhaled slowly. "Okay, so…we've both done this before. We just have to…"

"What? Pretend this is the same thing?" Cameron asked, standing again and pacing through the debris of their search.

"No, but…" Daniel stood too, crossing to where he was standing and grabbing his wrist, pulling him back when he would have pulled away. "Maybe we can…" He licked his lips, his eyes flicking over Cameron's face, trying to still the racing of his heart or the fear that hammered at his stomach. He lifted his hands to cup Cameron's face and shuffled still closer. Daniel let his lips brush over Cameron's and felt Cameron stiffen. "Trust me." Daniel murmured before closing his eyes and bringing their mouths together.

Cameron didn't exactly loosen up, but his hands rose to Daniel's hips and his lips parted when Daniel swept his tongue across them. He deepened the kiss, let himself pretend that this was like it had been before. His mind flashed back to what that meant and he pushed it away, there was too much emotional baggage there.

"Okay. Okay." Cameron murmured, stepping back slightly. "I get it." He nodded and blinked before licking his lips and offering Daniel a tight smile. "I get it."

Daniel nodded. "Okay. We'll get through this." He wasn't sure Cameron believed him, but then, he wasn't sure he did either. They pulled apart, separating to opposite ends of the room to sit and wait for the door to open again.

The room seemed much more stark this time, as Daniel was pulled into it, the light brighter, the chairs filled with men and women of different skin colors. Cameron stood waiting by the bed, his face set, even if his eyes were soft.

Daniel had been pulled from their prison and taken to a place where he had been wiped down, bent over, his ass lubed up, and restraints put on his wrists before being given into the hands of someone who held a device up to the back of his head, making adjustments of some kind.

Now though, a nervous thrum beat through his body and he wasn't sure how much of it was him and how much was the device controlling him. He was led to the platform, his bound hands handed to Cameron. Daniel drew in a deep breath and tried to relax.

He wasn't prepared for the blow when it came, Cameron's hand crashing across his cheek. Pain exploded in his face as his head snapped to the side and before he could recover, Cameron was fisting a hand in his hair and shoving him to his knees.

Daniel's bound hands lifted, pushing ineffectively at Cameron's legs as Cameron dragged Daniel's head to his crotch, rubbing his face against his hardening cock. "Open your mouth." Cameron growled, the words oddly slow as if he was fighting them. Daniel pushed back against the hand that held him, turning his head, but that put the spectators to this humiliation in his line of sight. Cameron's cock was on his lips and Daniel struggled to pull away, but Cameron's free hand grabbed his nose and pinched it shut, holding him until he was forced to open his mouth to breathe.

Cameron's cock slid between his lips as they opened, pressing in until the head was up against the back of his throat. Daniel fought gagging, but Cameron wasn't waiting, his hips moving to slide his cock across Daniel's tongue.

He wanted to relax his throat, make it easier, but his body fought him, and when Cameron's hand released him, Daniel whimpered out "Please, stop."

Cameron punched him then, and Daniel felt his lip split, warm salty blood flooding his mouth. His limbs were heavy as Cameron dragged him toward the bed, shoving him down onto his back. Cameron's hands were hard as they pushed and shoved him until he was positioned where Cameron wanted him. Cameron's hands ripped the not-pants down easily, dropping them to the floor before he spread Daniel's legs open and pushed them up.

His cock was hard and rubbing along Daniel's ass. Memory flashed through him…memory from a lifetime ago, a man he'd thought of as a friend, a night when the world grayed out and his body betrayed him. Daniel shook his head, or thought he did. "No." He wasn't sure he said it out loud, but it echoed in his head, even as Cameron's cock pressed into him. It repeated again, and this time he knew it was out loud, the spectators he'd nearly forgotten stirring and murmuring as his voice shattered over the word.

Cameron's hips snapped and Daniel yelled again, his body tensing, his bound hands lifting in an effort to reach Cameron. Daniel squeezed his eyes shut, ignoring the fluid leaking from them and tried to remember that Cameron was being forced to do this, to relax so this would be easier, but that just brought up more memory and Andrew's voice growling at him to relax.

"You know you want what I'm giving you." Andrew's words snarled down at him from Cameron's mouth and sluggishly Daniel realized that this wasn't just his brain calling up memories of a similar experience.

Cameron's fingernails were digging into his skin, holding his legs up and out as his hips snapped in and out at a wicked pace. His skin was slicked with sweaty and he was grunting as he fucked into Daniel. The look on his face, the way his hands tightened …all of it was the same.

They weren't just forcing Cameron to rape him. They had somehow pulled a deeply buried memory and were making Cameron act it out. Daniel struggled against the control that was holding him passive, simulating the drugged out sensation that had left him no control over his body, but there wasn't anything he could do as Cameron bent his knees and forced them toward his chest, letting him fuck down deeper, harder.

At least it would be over soon. Daniel squeezed his eyes shut as Cameron's rhythm stuttered and his cock emptied itself into Daniel's ass. Cameron pulled out and stepped away and applause rippled around the room. By the time Daniel opened his eyes, Cameron's face was deeply red and he looked ready to beat someone.

They were called down the steps, to stand near the door as the spectators filed out, their eyes raking over them. When they were all gone, Maless handed Daniel his not-pants and gestured for them to follow. He fought the command as hard as he could, but Daniel's feet obeyed and he fell into step beside Cameron, back to their prison cell.

Someone had cleaned the place up while they were gone. She lifted a hand with a small scanner and waved it at each of them. It was almost as if he could feel a switch being thrown and his will released.

"You did well. I am much pleased. Food will be brought to you. Your next performance is in two hours."

Cameron lurched at her as she left, but the door was closed before he reached it. Daniel moved away, to the far side of the bed, sitting gingerly before pressing fingers to the tender cheekbone where Cameron had hit him.

"Hey." Cameron said to get his attention.

Daniel didn't turn, didn't move. He could feel Cameron hovering behind him. "I'm okay." Daniel said softly."

"Like hell."

Cameron came around the end of the bed, a hand lifting to turn Daniel's face so he could see the damage. Daniel didn't mean to cringe, but he did. "I'm not going to hurt you." Cameron said, his voice shaded with his own hurt.

"I know." Daniel whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and turning so Cameron could examine the damage.

"I am so fucking sorry. I tried. I…" His finger brushed over the side of his lip that wasn't split before Daniel pulled away.

"I know. I did too." He tried to focus on regaining something of his dignity, shaking out the only garment he had to cover his body and putting his feet through the ankle cuffs. Cameron looked away as Daniel stood and pulled them up. "It's not your fault."

"Like hell." Cameron rubbed his face and stood, pacing away and back again. "I hit you, I …" He gestured at Daniel. "There was nothing I could do…just…"

"It's not your fault." Daniel repeated, though he pulled away when Cameron's hand came near him again. "Just…we should probably rest. If we have to…again…"

Behind them a door opened and a man with skin tinged green and purple pushed a cart into the room. It was filled with fruit and some sort of smoked meat with a pitcher of water.

Daniel closed his eyes and lay down as Cameron walked toward the cart, his stomach a tight knot. He didn't think he would sleep, but he hoped the dark would take him away, at least for a while.

Nightmares chased him up out of the little bit of sleep he'd been afforded. He'd lost track of the days, hours…it was a never ending cycle of sex and sleep and sex again…sometimes brutal and violent, other times warm and tender. They never had any control of it, never knew what exactly to expect.

Daniel slowly came aware of Cameron's body, spooned up behind his, an arm protectively thrown over Daniel's hip. He'd forgotten when that started, when they'd begun sharing the bed, when that had stopped seeming strange, when he'd started welcoming the warmth of another body, the touch of a hand on his skin.

He shifted, easing away from Cameron with the intention of getting up. Cameron wasn't sleeping though and his hand pressed against Daniel's stomach before it slipped back over his hip and Cameron rolled onto his back. "You okay?"

Daniel nodded, though they both knew it wasn't true. The last round had been particularly brutal and Daniel's body bore the marks of it. Not that Cameron didn't have his share of bruises, but Daniel's skin was mottled and welted. "Nightmares?" Cameron asked, one hand sliding up Daniel's back, warm and big and oddly comforting.

"Andrew." Daniel said softly. Behind him, Cameron shifted and sat up, instantly more aware.

"Tell me?"

Daniel nodded, though he'd resisted until that moment. "I knew him in college. We…flirted some, but it was never serious. I wasn't…." He shook his head. It didn't matter that he hadn't dated any guys before that, or that he wasn't even sure he was interested. He'd flirted and that was the truth. "Then I met a girl…Andrew didn't like that very much."

He swallowed around the memory, the feeling when he realized what had happened. "I was at a party, trying desperately to convince my date to leave, when Andrew showed up and handed me a beer. I let him convince me to go outside, let my date hang with her friends. Next thing I knew I was in some bedroom and I couldn't control my body very well."

Daniel shivered and stood, all but feeling that first blow all over again. "He kept me there all weekend, kept me drugged out of my mind." And their captors had made him relive every single moment of it at least once.

Cameron slid off the bed, padding around on his bare feet, but keeping his distance. He already had some of it figured out, Daniel could tell. "And they made me replay it." It wasn't a question.

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. I mean, it was a long time ago…but I never told anyone…I just buried it, changed schools, never looked back. I dated a couple guys after that, but no one ever seriously."

Cameron lifted a hand, brushing gently against the bruise on his cheek. "I'm sorry."

Daniel turned his face, kissing Cameron's palm. "Not your fault."

"No, but I--" The door opened and they stepped apart, turning to find their captor smiling at them. "Come, come. It is time."

"We need a break." Cameron said, stepping slightly in front of Daniel as if to protect him. "Real sleep."

She raised an eyebrow, her hand lifting and Daniel could just about feel the switch that put them firmly under her control. They fell into step and followed her to the room where they made adjustments to the technology implanted in their heads.

"They have adjusted well, Maless. The feed will be strong." The tech finished with Cameron and turned to Daniel. "They are well matched."

"Yes, so I've seen. Even when not required, they maintain closeness. It is a good match."

Daniel was about to try to ask what they meant when Maless frowned and pulled the tech away. There was a heated exchange in their native language, then Maless was snapping her fingers and Cameron and Daniel both fell into step behind her.

They were returned to their room without explanation, the door locked.

Cameron shook his head. "What was that about?"

"Hell if I know." Daniel responded, pacing away. "Sam." It occurred to him slowly, a vague image in his head.

"Carter?" Cameron asked, turning to him.

Daniel nodded, not sure how he knew, but sure nonetheless. He glanced down at his nakedness and pulled the sheets off the bed, tossing one to Cameron and wrapping one around himself, just as he felt the familiar tingle of the transporter finding them.

In seconds they found themselves on the bridge of the Daedalus, awkwardly holding sheets around themselves, blinking as Sam ordered the lieutenant at the controls to take them home. She was out of the chair and at their sides in a heartbeat.

"You two okay?" Her worried eyes took in the bruises and the state of undress and widened. "Maybe we should get you to the infirmary."

Daniel wasn't going to argue and ducked around her with Cameron close behind him. Sam followed at a distance and he could almost feel her questions, but she didn't say anything, even when they got to the infirmary and escorted onto separate curtained off beds where they were each examined before being allowed to dress in scrubs and settled in to wait for test results.

Sam brought a chair between their beds and sat, looking like she wanted to say something, but not knowing where to start.

Daniel cleared his throat. "So, how'd you find us?"

She seemed relieved to have a place to begin and nodded. "We got to the rendezvous and your cargo ship was there, but you weren't. There were some residual energy signatures that Vala said matched a weapon favored by a species of hunters."

Daniel frowned and looked up at the mention of her name. "Where is Vala?"

"She and Teal'c are on your cargo ship. We had two possible locations to search to find you." She sat back in the chair. "We found the hunter who found you two and he wasn't sure which sect of the Pretorate he sold you to."

"There are different sects?" Cameron asked.

She nodded. "From what I understand they split over a century ago over an argument to do with…" Her face turned pink and she licked her lips. "…purity laws. The Kail believe that as long as their bodies remain pure, they themselves remain pure. The Juba believe that as long as their emotions remain pure, they themselves remain pure. Both sects practice a form of slavery they call Palak, which means something like 'the path of purity', though their use of it differs. The Kail use them to perform acts forbidden to them and they enjoy these acts through a neural link with the palaka. The Jaba, on the other hand, use similar technology to inhibit their emotion so that they can perform the same forbidden acts themselves."

Daniel's hand lifted to rub at the place on the back of his head where the device was implanted. If Sam knew that much, she knew enough to understand some of what they had been through. She cleared her throat and stood. "I…ah, should let you rest. We should be home in about fourteen hours."

She left them alone then and Daniel grimaced as he shifted on the bed, his body achy and sore. Cameron was looking at him, but Daniel couldn't read anything in his eyes. "I'm fine, Cam." Daniel said softly.

"Like hell." Cameron replied just as softly. He slipped off his bed and came to Daniel's, and without even thinking about it, Daniel made room for him, letting Cam slide in beside him and spoon up to his back, pulling Daniel back against his chest. "But you will be." Cameron whispered in his ear, his lips warm against Daniel's skin. "Get some sleep."

It was comfortable and safe and Daniel didn't waste any thought on how or why that was, just let the command and his exhaustion, pull him under.

"The good news is, despite the assorted bumps, bruises and other assorted minor wounds, you are both physically fine and I'm going to release you from the infirmary for some good old fashioned R&R for the next few weeks." Dr. Lam said as she set down her chart on Daniel's bed.

"I sense a but coming." Daniel said dryly.

She inclined her head slowly. "But, so far we have not found a way to remove the technology that was implanted in your brains. Not without killing you anyway." She crossed her arms. "There doesn't seem to be any signal coming from it and it doesn't seem to be controlling your actions. Right now we are just attempting to analyze the risk to your health and well-being if we leave them. So for the time being, you're restricted to base."

Cameron was out of bed almost before she finished speaking. "Anything is better than spending another day laying here in this bed, no offense, Doc."

"Just take it easy, okay?"

"I promise." Cameron said, slapping a hand to Daniel's shoulder. "Come on, let's get some lunch."

Daniel stood and followed Cameron, at least until they reached the hall where they both maintained quarters for those times when going home just wasn't an option. "I'm going to grab a shower." Daniel said as he reached his door.

"That sounds good. " Cameron agreed, grinning at him before disappearing behind his own door.

Daniel stripped down, dropping his scrubs to the floor and pausing in the bathroom of his quarters, turning to trace the worst of the bruising in the mirror. Most of it had started to fade, but there were distinct fingerprint smudges of deep black on each of his hips and across the front of his shoulders that still looked as if they'd just been made.

He turned away from the mirror and started the water, letting it run until it was steaming hot before stepping in and letting the water run over his body. They'd both been bathed once all of the exams and tests had been completed, but the water was something he needed to feel clean again. In the days since they'd been rescued, he'd begun to reconcile what had happened, pushing the violence back into the hole it had crawled out of, though he was finding himself recoiling several times when men were too close or moved in certain ways.

Daniel scrubbed at his hair, then his skin. What he couldn't reconcile was the feeling of warmth in his stomach when Cameron touched him, the feeling when Cameron was there, the way his body responded when their skin touched. Part of him knew it had more to do with the technology inside his brain than any natural attraction. Another part of him also knew that Cameron Mitchell was exactly the kind of man that he had always been attracted to, he'd just put away that part of himself when he'd come to work for the military.

He rinsed off and turned the water off, stepping out of the shower to dry himself. He wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom, stopping as Cameron smiled sheepishly at him. His hair was wet, like he'd showered too, but he was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweats.

Daniel smiled. "Cam?"

He shrugged. "I just…" He sighed, reaching for Daniel, his hand sliding along his neck and behind his head, drawing Daniel closer. His lips brushed over Daniel's and after only the slightest hesitation, Daniel opened his mouth, inviting him to go further. Cameron's tongue filled his mouth, caressing against his before withdrawing again. Cameron ended the kiss, his forehead pressed to Daniel's. "I've wanted to do that since we left the Daedalus."

"It isn't real." Daniel murmured, though he didn't pull away.

"It feels real." Cameron responded. His next kiss was deeper, more tongue, more need…a need Daniel could feel down into his stomach, warmth uncoiling inside him. Cameron's hands slipped over his skin, down his sides to his hips, pulling Daniel closer until there was no denying they were both feeling very aroused. "Tell me to stop." Cameron whispered, pulling back enough to meet Daniel's eyes. "I will."

Daniel licked his lips, tasting Cameron on them and wanting more. "Don't stop." Daniel whispered back, guiding Cameron toward the bed. He was still pretty sure this was the technology in their heads, driving toward fulfilling the last programming it had received, but at that moment he wasn't sure it mattered.

His hands caught on Cameron's waist band, sliding it down enough to free his awakening cock as Cameron lay back slowly. Daniel's towel fell as he climbed up on the bed, straddling over Cameron's knees, his hardening cock brushing Cameron's.

Daniel took his cock in hand, then Cameron's, slowly rubbing up them, his eyes caught on Cameron's. His hand moved slowly and Cameron's hips moved with him, his hands reaching up for Daniel, sliding up his arm as he sat up. Cameron's hand covered Daniel's, taking over the stroking of Daniel's cock as his lips found Daniel's mouth.

Cameron kissed his way down Daniel's jaw, nuzzling into his neck, sucking and licking as his hand continued to work Daniel's cock until Daniel's whole body was on fire with the need to come. Daniel pulled back, moving to the side, cradling his cock, not sure what he wanted exactly, but Cameron seemed to understand, shifting himself until he was on his knees, reaching back for Daniel, guiding himself back.

Daniel rubbed the head of his cock over Cameron's hole, holding his breath as he pressed in and Cameron pressed back. It was slow, with no lube and no foreplay, but Cameron pushed back steadily until Daniel was fully inside him. Cameron's weight fell on Daniel's knees, his head dropping back to Daniel's shoulder, his mouth open with needy sounds falling from his lips.

For a moment neither of them moved, and when Cameron did, it was just as slowly. He rocked forward, then back. Daniel turned his head, catching Cameron's mouth, licking over his lips as Cameron moaned his pleasure. Daniel slipped a hand over Cameron's hip, circling his cock and letting Cameron's own movement slide his cock through his fist.

"Fuck, Daniel." Cameron murmured, flexing his hips and arching forward as he increased his speed slightly. Daniel kissed over the back of his neck, driving forward into his back stroke, his cock ready to come. As Daniel's orgasm started, Cameron groaned loudly, his own cock beginning to spill into Daniel's hand.

When they had both finished, they sat still for a minute, Daniel still inside Cameron's ass. Daniel was the first to move, pulling out and easing himself off the bed before heading into the bathroom. He wet a washcloth and cleaned his hand and cock, before rinsing it and taking it out to Cameron to wipe his ass.

Cameron stood and pulled Daniel to him, kissing him soundly and grinning him. "That was…."

Daniel couldn't help but smile back. "It was." It wasn't real, and they both knew it, but it felt real enough, even now as Cameron kissed him again.

"Do we need to talk about this?" Cameron asked as he stepped back to find his pants.

Daniel opened his mouth to say something, then shook his head. "What if they can't take the technology out and this doesn't….wear off?"

Cameron grinned as he pulled his sweats up over his cock. "I can think of worse things than wanting you in my bed."

Daniel could feel himself blushing and turned away slightly. "So…this is okay with you?"

Cameron's hand was on his shoulder, turning him. "Tell me to stop, and I will." His eyes were all soft concern and Daniel could feel his blush deepening, his stomach warm and something comfortable seemed to settle into him.

He leaned the small distance to Cameron's lips, kissing him lightly. "Don't Stop."

An Unexpected Moment, Criminal Minds/White Collar, NC-17

2015-05-22T18:01:47Z

Fandom: Criminal Minds/White Collar
Title: An Unexpected Moment
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey/Spencer Reid, David Rossi
Word Count: 851
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Spencer is giving a lecture in New York. Neal Finds out and pays him a visit. Part of the Beautiful Things series.

A/Ns & Warnings: No real warnings. Closet sex.

He was in the middle of his presentation on the behavior of long distance killers when he felt it, his eyes darting around the darkened theater, then back to Rossi as he stumbled a little over words, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips despite the fact that he was pretty sure his reaction should be the opposite.

It was meant to be a quick trip, a stop on a tour of lectures that Rossi had invited him along to, so quick, in fact, that he hadn't even mentioned it to Neal. Somehow it didn't surprise him that Neal had discovered it anyway and found a way to get to the lecture hall, even though it was well outside his two mile radius.

He couldn't even be sure how he knew that Neal was there…he could just feel it. He tried to ignore the feeling, and the blue eyes he couldn't see, but knew were watching him and finished the presentation. They answered questions for a few minutes before they were done and Spencer could duck around Rossi to collect his things, only to find Neal standing there, holding his messenger bag.

"You didn't call." Neal said, pouting at him.

Spencer glanced at Rossi and took his bag from Neal. "I don't have time, this trip."

Rossi stepped off the stage, his eyebrow raised.

"Rossi, you remember Neal Caffrey?"

"I do." Rossi nodded to him, looking down at his phone. "So, I have to run. My publisher wants to do lunch. You be okay for a few hours on your own?" Rossi asked, patting him on the shoulder before he walked away.

"Now you do have time." Neal said, grinning. Spencer was still frowning after Rossi when Neal tugged on the strap of his messenger bag. "Not a lot of time, though. I'm supposed to be helping Peter with a case."

"You…what?"

Neal took them out a side door, into a hallway lined with offices and down, peeking in doors until he found what he was looking for, dragging Spencer in behind him.

"Neal--" Neal's lips covered his, Neal's tongue sliding over his lip before he turned his head to kiss along Spencer's jaw and nuzzle into his neck. "This is a storage closet." Spencer observed.

"Had to improvise." Neal said, grinning at him, his hands sliding over Spencer's hips, his fingers making quick work of his belt and zipper and before Spencer could even protest, Neal was down on his knees, his warm mouth closing around Spencer's cock, which responded predictably.

Neal's eyes sparkled up at him as he licked over his cock, lips closing as he neared the head and sucking. Spencer wanted to tell him to stop, but when he opened his mouth all that came out of it was a groan. Neal kissed down the side and sucked along the base while his hands pulled Spencer's pants down, giving him access to Spencer's balls.

His hand slowly jacked Spencer's cock as he sucked first one, then the other into his mouth, tongue flicking along the skin.

"Neal." Spencer reached for his shoulder, but Neal's only response was to go back to the tip, licking over it before taking it in his mouth and sinking on to it, until the head was in his throat. Spencer's hand moved to the side of his head and Neal took that as encouragement, setting up a bobbing rhythm that had Spencer rocking into it almost immediately.

Spencer's fingers tightened as he came close to coming and Neal leaned back, his hand taking over until Spencer's cock spilled onto the floor between Neal's knees.

Neal was grinning as he stood, pulling Spencer's pants up and tucking him in. "I knew you'd be happy to see me."

Spencer rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but grin. "I'm always happy to see you." He leaned in for a kiss, and Neal obliged, even while his hands were zipping Spencer's pants and straightening his shirt.

"How long you staying?" Neal asked breathlessly as he pulled back.

"Supposed to leave tonight." Spencer responded.

"You should stay, come by my place." Neal reached for the door, but Spencer pulled him back, kissing him again.

"I don't know…"

Neal's phone rang and he pulled it from his pocket, glanced at the screen, then answered. "Peter, no, I haven't. I'm on my way back now, I have an idea who we're after." He pocketed the phone and kissed Spencer again. "I mean it. I want to see you for more than…this."

"I'll try."

Neal grinned and vanished out the door.

Reid found himself smiling after him, his face warm as he attempted to make himself look less like he'd just gotten a blow job from a con man in a storage closet. He knew he should just meet Rossi at the airport, fly home.

Yet somehow as he hailed a cab to take him to meet Rossi, he knew he wouldn't. He knew he would end up at Neal's door…in Neal's bed.

And that only made his face warmer and his smile bigger.

Miss Me?, Stargate SG1/Stargate Atlantis, NC-17

2015-05-19T19:10:44Z

Title: Miss Me?
Fandom: Stargate SG1, Stargate Atlantis
Characters/Pairings: John Sheppard/Cameron Mitchell
Word Count: ~1200
Rating: NC-17
Summary: John Sheppard is home from Atlantis for a few weeks shore leave. Cameron is hoping that means sex.

A/Ns & Warnings: For badfalcon because it's all her fault. Oral sex, hand job, implied previous relationship, minor angst

It was unexpected, but he wasn't going to knock the gift that was time with John where neither of them was running for their lives or getting shot at or any of the other crazy that was a part of their normal lives. No, Cameron knew better than to court trouble. Instead he'd given John a lift back to his place, which to be fair wasn't much to look at yet, but he had the basics.

He'd only just decided to move out of the shoebox apartment he'd rented when he'd first come to Colorado Springs to take up the job of defending the earth. The house was bigger than he needed, but it left him room to grow into.

He popped the tops off two beers as he heard the shower stop, padding into the living room on bare feet. He dropped onto the couch, holding out one of the beers as John appeared in a pair of battered sweats, his chest and hair still wet.

He smiled as he took the bottle, sitting on the other side of the couch, his eyes flicking to the TV, then away. He took a long drink as the silence stretched between them.

"So…"Cameron started, searching for something to say, to ask, anything to break the awkward that was starting to fill up the space between them.

"Yeah" John said, glancing sideways at Cameron. "I…we…"

"Oh." Cameron was beginning to understand. John had been gone a long time. A galaxy away. He shook his head and stood, setting his beer aside. Here he'd been excited just to have him home, to have some time to remind him why he should come home more often. "I just assumed…you…probably found someone-"

"No." John said behind him. "I mean, there isn't someone else. Not in any real sense anyway." Cameron turned as John fidgeted, finally standing and pacing. "When I left, I told you not to wait for me."

"And I told you not to be lonely." Cameron said, crossing his arms.

John nodded, swallowing more beer and putting the bottle on the coffee table "Mostly I'm not. And I won't lie and tell you I haven't…been with anyone."

Cameron felt his stomach lurch and turned away, moving back toward the kitchen. "I get it."

"Do you?" John's hand was warm on his back. "I've missed you."

Cameron turned, frowning. "You're confusing the hell out of me."

John sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Sorry. I…I didn't want to come back here and just…presume we could pick up where we left off."

Cameron pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, knowing that was exactly what he had presumed since finding out John would be spending a couple of weeks on Earth. "Okay, so…there isn't someone new for you, and I know that there isn't anyone I'm interested in and I've been horny since we got the last data stream from Atlantis with your message that you would be here, so…"

John's mouth quirked up into a grin and the color rose in his cheeks a little. "You have?"

Cameron rolled his eyes and decided he was done playing this particular game. He reached out and pulled John in, hand on the back of John's neck, pressing their mouths together. John's hands fluttered over his ribs, down to his waist where they held as Cameron turned him toward the wall, pressing him up against it as Cameron's tongue surged past John's lips.

They were both a little breathless as Cameron ended the kiss and John's eyes lifted to meet his. His lips curled in a small smile, the one that made Cameron want to lick the corners of his mouth. "Miss me?"

Cameron's dick hardened in his pants and he rubbed a hand over John's groin, feeling the weight of his cock, remembering the taste of it. He kissed his way down John's chest, fingers finding their way into the worn elastic waistband. John's cock was half hard as Cameron sank to one knee, his eyes flicking up as his hand stroked over the thickening cock before he licked over the tip and slowly took it into his mouth, hand curling around the base.

John's hips shifted, mirroring the movement of Cameron's mouth, his hands finding their way to Cameron's head. His fingers scrubbed through the short hair, tightening as Cameron's movements slowed and he took John's cock deeper. His hand stroked along the base, even as his mouth sucked up and nearly off and John's breath tightened, a low moan escaping his lips as his head fell back against the wall.

Cameron stood slowly, his hand still stroking John's cock as he licked and nipped at skin over John's stomach and chest, kissing up his neck to his ear. "I think the question here, is did you miss me.

John's eyes met his, alive with lust as he pushed off the wall and turned them, pushing Cameron back against the wall, his hand already inside Cam's pants, around his cock, pulling dry up its length. "Did I miss you?" John asked, leaning against him as he brought his hips closer, bringing their cocks together, his hand stretching wide to try to stroke them both at the same time.

Cameron nipped at his lips, smirking as he brought a hand up to meet John's, completing the circle and matching his pace. "Yeah…"Cameron grunted, not sure if he was answering the question or reacting to the stimulus.

He pulled John's face closer with his free hand, licking at his lips before plunging his tongue through them, swallowing the groan and what sounded like it could have been his name. Both of them were rocking into the rhythm and Cameron knew it wasn't going to take much to push him over the edge. John's whiskered face rubbed along his, his lips closing on his ear lobe and sucking in.

"Yeah, I missed you." John growled in his ear. "Missed this, missed fucking you in the shower, missed you fucking me over the kitchen table. Missed the smell of you. "

Cameron grabbed his shoulder and thrust up into the circle of their hands as his orgasm started, spilling hot and thick over his fingers and John's cock. John was only slightly behind him, collapsing into Cameron as they shuddered through it.

They were still trying to get their breathing back to normal when the doorbell rang and Cameron dropped his head back against the wall. He'd forgotten all about ordering pizza. He wiped his hand on John's pants and stomach as he pulled his own up over his cock and went to the door, grabbing his wallet from the hall table on the way.

John was grinning at him when he came back, paper towels wiping across his stomach. "Don't think this is over."

Cameron quirked an eyebrow up . "Oh, no, son, we've only gotten started." He handed the pizza to him. "You need to eat, you're going to need your strength."

John matched his eyebrow. "And lube. We're going to need lots of lube."

Don't Think We're in Kansas, Part 15, Stargate Atlantis/Supernatural, NC-17

2015-05-16T15:45:49Z

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis/Supernatural
Title: Don't Think We're in Kansas, Part 15
Characters/Pairings: John Sheppard/Sam Winchester/ Dean Winchester, Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, YED
Word Count: 3608
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Things have settled into something resembling normal for Sam and Dean on Atlantis, but as usual, that's just when things go sideways as Sam's visions return and they find evidence that Meg has attempted to bring daddy to Pegasus the hard way.

A/Ns & Warnings: This took way too long to get back to. I apologize. Also, lots of angst.

Sam looked up from his book as Ronon sat in the chair beside him. He was sweaty and slightly winded and he grinned, gesturing behind him. Sam didn't need to look, he could feel Dean dragging himself the last few steps, leaning against the door frame. Sam chuckled. "I take it Ronon took you for a run?"

Dean rolled his eyes and fought to catch his breath, moving to lean over the railing. "You…" He turned to lean on the railing and pointed at Ronon. "Are an evil son of a bitch."

Ronon just laughed and sat back in the chair.

Sam set his book down and turned his face to the sun, reveling in the comfort of the moment. It had been months now since they'd had a sighting of Meg. They were back on the rotation in earnest which had the whole team feeling much more at ease.

Things were good. He felt Dean's eyes and looked up, offering a smile. "John's heading back from his meeting." Sam could feel him, even though he was a ways away. He was happy.

"We're supposed to have a team meeting about tomorrow's mission." Dean said, wiping his face on his shirt. "I need a shower first." He pushed off the rail and headed back inside.

Sam stood himself, but his book dropped from his hands and he had to grab at the railing as pain lanced through his head and images slammed into him in quick succession, Wraith, villagers, fires…Meg. It ended as fast as it started, leaving Sam on one knee, his nose dripping red, his head tender. Ronon squatted beside him, waiting for it to pass before offering his hand.

Sam let Ronon pull him up as he wiped at this nose with a shaking hand.

"It's been a while." Ronon observed, still holding Sam's elbow as they started moving inside.

He nodded, gesturing to the door of his own room, rather than Dean's across the hall. He went into the bathroom to clean up and get the bleeding to stop before he pulled off his shirt and pulled on a clean one. John and Dean had both felt it, but he made sure they knew he was okay.

He got the sense that there was nothing they could do, that whatever the vision showed him was already taking place somewhere, so there was no rush. He rubbed at his temples and took some ibuprofen before turning to find all of them standing there, waiting.

He shrugged. "Meg, they culled a village. We wouldn't get there in time to stop it."

"Did you recognize the village?" John asked softly.

Sam shook his head. "No, I haven't been there."

"Okay. Let's grab some dinner and talk about the mission tomorrow." John said, clapping a hand to Sam's shoulder. They headed toward the mess hall, meeting Teyla as they turned out of the residential hall.

"Rodney should already be here." John said. Sure enough, Rodney was not only already there, but already sitting at a table with a full tray.

Sam grabbed a bottle of water and a sandwich and joined Rodney, frowning as Dean sat beside him and put a banana and an apple in front of him with a push to eat one or the other. "I'm fine, Dean." Sam said quietly.

"I know." He was closed off though and Sam could only get that he was worried about the return of the visions, which he already knew.

Once they were all seated and eating Teyla told them what she knew about the people on the planet where they were going the next day. They were much like so many others in this galaxy, though they had managed to climb out of the shadows of the Wraith more so than others. No one was sure what had kept the Wraith at bay, but Teyla said they suspected it was because the planet was so far out.

"So, what is it we're hoping to find here?" Dean asked.

"Intelligence has indicated an increase in hive activity in the general region. Our mission is to relay that information and help them prepare for a return of the Wraith." John responded.

"It has been many generations since they have seen a culling." Teyla said. "Many among them do not believe the Wraith are still a threat. Some call them ghost stories, told to keep the people from straying from the village. It will not be easy."

"We'll just have to be convincing." Ronon responded.

"And pay attention. There are Wraith in the area." John warned. "We don't take any chances." His eyes met Sam's, then moved to Teyla. "If any of you get even an inkling that there are Wraith around, you sound out and get to cover."

"Don't have to tell me twice." Sam said, picking up the banana. "I've had enough up close and personal with those things for one lifetime."

Sam was the first one prepped and ready to go, letting himself into his brother's room while Dean was still in the bathroom, laying out his gear on the bed. He caught himself before he knelt beside the bed as he finished. It bothered Dean when Sam gave in that completely to the programming of the technology that had changed their lives forever.

Instead, he went to the windows, looking out at the vast expanse of water that surrounded them. There were times he could let himself forget that they were in a different galaxy, that they had left behind everything they ever knew. But that view always brought it home to him.

Dean was suddenly behind him, arms snaking around his waist, chin on Sam's shoulder. "You homesick?" Dean asked softly.

Sam shook his head. "Not really. Just thinking. Everything's different, and yet here we are, still hunting monsters."

He could feel Dean's grin as he pulled away, crossing back to the bed to start getting dressed. "At least here, if you plug the monsters with enough bullets, they go down."

Sam crossed to the bed, automatically helping Dean, smoothing the shirt down his back, tucking it into his pants. "I do know how to dress myself, Sammy." Dean said.

"I know." Sam lifted his hands away. "Just…I want to help."

Dean kissed his cheek and pulled his vest up off the bed. "I know."

Sam caught him as he pulled away, dragging him back and kissing him deeply. Behind Dean the door opened and John cleared his throat. "I could feel that all the way down the hall. You two going to stand there making out or are we going on this mission?"

Sam chuckled as he pulled back. "Sorry." He ducked around Dean to head to the door, but John caught his arm, leaning in to kiss him.

"When we get back…" John whispered and Sam's head filled with images of Dean and John and Sam naked and writhing together.

Dean groaned as he came their way. "Really?"

John smirked and stepped back into the hall as Dean pressed down on his suddenly very prominent cock. "I mean, really?" Dean shook his head and tried to pretend he was bothered by it, but both Sam and John could feel that he wasn't. "Just try to keep it down when we're working, right?"

"I make no promises." John said wryly, heading up the corridor.

Sam and Dean fell into step behind him, their movements synchronized without trying. John signaled the control room and the chevrons on the gate started to light up. Dr. Weir appeared at the top of the stairs. "I don't need to remind you that time is short."

John nodded as the wormhole came to life. "I know, don't worry. We've got this."

Ronon was the first one through the gate, with Teyla and Rodney behind him. Sam and Dean followed, with John bringing up the rear. The air on the other side was hot and dry, a stiff wind carrying the smell of smoke. Sam froze, his hand on Dean's arm. "We're too late."

"What makes you say that?" John asked, his eyes darting around them.

"I just know."

"Teyla?" John looked to her and she shook her head.

"I sense no Wraith."

"Okay, we continue the mission. To the village. Ronon, on point."

The closer they got to the village, the more sure Sam was that he was right. As they topped the hill it became obvious. The stone buildings belched smoke out of doors and windows. Bodies lay strewn about the wreckage.

"Spread out. Look for survivors." John said quietly, but Sam knew instinctively that there wouldn't be any. He and Dean took the left flank, moving into the village.

"Well, Meg was definitely here." Dean said, pulling Sam up from checking a body. He gestured at the stone wall of the nearest building where the words "Hi Sammy" were scrawled in what looked like blood.

"Dean!"

They turned as one and ran for John's voice, coming to a screeching halt beside him where there was a large sigil, also painted in blood on the ground in the center of the village. "Do I want to know what this is?" John asked as Sam and Dean circled the sigil.

"You don't think…." Dean frowned and shook his head. "It wouldn't work, would it?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. I mean…If we were home…"

"But we're not." Dean stood looking down at the sigil, hands on his hips, his face frowning. "So, it wouldn't work."

"Would one of you tell me what this is?" John growled, his frustration bleeding through loud and clear.

"It's a sigil, used to summon a demon." Sam said. "Judging by the size, maybe more than one."

"Maybe just a big one." Dean countered.

"You don't …" Sam shook his head. "He wouldn't come here."

"You don't know that Sam." Dean countered.

"Who are we talking about?" John asked, moving almost protectively closer to Sam.

"The yellow eyed son of a bitch that tried to get Sam to turn the last time we went home." Dean said, circling around to Sam's other side.

"I thought you said they couldn't come here with the trap in front of the gate."

Dean shook his head. "They can come through the gate, they'd just get stuck, but this…if it worked?"

"It's a lot of blood." Sam squatted down, reaching out a hand without actually touching the sigil. "They had to have drained two, maybe three people for it."

"Okay, I've heard enough. Fall back to the gate." John's hand fell on Sam's shoulder and Sam looked up as John sent the same message over the radio to the rest of the team.

They were quiet as they hiked back, but Sam could feel the concern rolling off both John and his brother. "I'm fine." Sam said as the stopped beside the dialing device. "Really."

"I don't like the idea that she could bring him here without us knowing." John said.

"We don't know that she did." Sam countered. "And even if she did, we'll deal with it. Same as we always do."

Dean scowled at him but Sam couldn't figure out what his problem was before the wormhole was opening and John was telling Atlantis they were coming back.

Dr. Weir met them as they came through the gate. "That was a short trip, Colonel Sheppard."

"Not much to see, Elizabeth. The Wraith beat us to the planet."

"It was far more than a culling." Teyla said as she unclipped her gun. "They left no one alive."

"It was Meg." Dean said. "She left us a note."

"Meg, the demon that was inside the Wraith queen." Dr. Weir looked concerned. "What was the note?"

"Just letting us know it was her." Sam said. "And that she tried to summon another demon."

"Tried?"

Sam shrugged. "We have no way of knowing if it worked."

"We just hope that it didn't." Dean said. "Because if it did, we have a whole different world of trouble than your people are prepared for."

"Okay, reports on my desk by the end of the day."

Before Sam could respond, Dean had a hand on the back of his neck and was pushing him out of the gate room, toward their quarters. "Dean." He tried to pull away, only to find John on the other side, his hand on Sam's elbow.

Together they manhandled him into his room and right up to the wall. "What?" Sam asked, exasperated by his inability to read the emotions pouring off of them.

"No." Dean said, his brow pulled tight into a frown.

"No?" Sam shook his head, then looked to John. He wasn't any clearer than Dean. "I'm fine."

Dean's hand was on Sam's chest now, holding him to the wall. "He isn't like any other case, Sam."

"I know." Sam nodded, trying to exude calm and confidence.

"This is the son of a bitch that killed Mom and killed Dad."

Sam nodded, lifting a hand to cup Dean's face. "And he's still just a demon, Dean."

You were supposed to be safe here. Sam heard the words just as if Dean had said them, though his brother's mouth never moved.

Sam relaxed against the wall, understanding now that what Dean was hiding from him was fear, abject terror that if the Yellow Eyed demon could come here, he could get to Sam and if he got to Sam…. "I'm safe, Dean." He reached for John's hand and put it on Dean's on his chest, then covered both with his own. "Safer here than I would ever be back home. I have the two of you, Ronon, hell, I have military back up."

It took a minute for the fear to recede and Dean backed off, scratching at his head.

"Okay, now one of you is going to explain to me why this guy freaks you out so much." John said, hands on his hips as Sam moved off the wall and into the sitting area of his room.

Sam picked up the worn leather journal that was on the sofa, offering it up to John. "He's the reason we are who we are, why Dad became a hunter, why we became hunters."

"He's worse than any of the other bad things we've come across. Every time we face him, he walks away unscathed." Dean said. "From what we've learned, Meg and other lower level demons are his….children."

"Of course, that's just what he's said himself. He's a demon. Demons lie." Sam countered.

"So what is it he wants with Sam?" John asked, leafing through the journal.

Dean dropped into the chair and kicked his feet up over the arm, dropping his vest beside it. "That is the big, soul sucking question." He sighed and shook his head. "All we know is that he was in Sam's room when he was a baby, and he killed our mother that night. Our father hunted him our whole lives and we finally got close a year ago."

"Which is when your father died?" John asked, sinking to a seat on the other end of the couch.

"Well, he tried to kill all of us." Sam said. "He…possessed Dad, nearly killed Dean. I had the Colt, but I couldn't just shoot him."

The room was quiet for a moment before John dropped the journal between him and Sam. "The Colt?"

Sam got up and went to the table beside his bed, pulling the gun out of the drawer and bringing it back. Dean's feet dropped and he sat up straight. "You brought it here?"

Sam ignored him, handing the gun to John. "It's a special gun, made by Samuel Colt to fight demons. It's said it can kill anything."

John looked the gun over, frowning up at Sam. "Doesn't look like much."

"Maybe not, but we know it kills vampires." Dean said, reaching for it.

"And it forced the Yellow Eyed Demon out of Dad." Sam added, dropping back to his seat.

He could feel Dean staring at him, feel the play of fear and anger and uncertainty that bounced around inside his brother. "I brought it because I had a feeling we would need it." Sam said finally, meeting his brother's gaze. "No prophetic dreams or anything, just…when we were cleaning out the car, I didn't want to leave it behind. We might need it."

Dean stood and took the gun back to the nightstand, setting it back in the drawer and turning to look at them. "Okay. So what do we do next?"

A very strong image filled Sam's head, clearly from John about what they could do next and he chuckled, even as Dean's hand fell to his groin and he moaned. "Seriously?"

John grinned. "What? You thinking something else?" The images shifted, Sam on his knees, Dean's cock between his lips, John kneeling behind Sam, working his cock into Sam's ass.

Dean crossed the room, his hands already moving to get his pants open, his cock hard and filling his hand. John's hand was holding his own cock, rubbing it through the fabric of his pants. Despite Dean's protest, lust was rolling off of him as he approached, licking his lips as John reached a hand up, circling it around Dean's cock.

Sam's own cock was stirring and he reached across to help John undo his pants, his hand delving in to ease out his cock. He licked across the tip and felt the echo, unsure if John had done the same to Dean or if had simply rippled over their connection. He opened his mouth and slid down John's length and this time he could make out the responses as John took Dean in and Sam's cock twitched in response. Sam blocked out the extra sensations, keeping his focus on John's need, at least until Dean's need intruded on his attention.

Dean shifted on his feet, pulling back and shoving his pants down. Obviously John's mouth wasn't enough. Sam eased off the couch, moving to Dean, sliding hands across his skin, guiding him toward the chair as he worked Dean's shirt up.

John wasn't far behind, helping guide Dean so that he was bent forward, hands on the arms of the chair, legs kicked as wide as his pants would allow. Sam slid down his legs, kissing over Dean's thighs as his hands worked to free his feet of the military boots and pants. Dean's cock was hard against his cheek as John's fingers prepped Dean's ass and Sam turned his head, nuzzling into Dean's groin.

Dean groaned and leaned forward as john pushed into him and Sam echoed the sound as the sensations washed over him, his cock hot and trapped in his pants. He licked along Dean's cock as he fumbled with his own zipper, getting it open and his cock in his hands.

John's pace was increasing as the technology that bound the three of them together surged in response to their emotional states. Sam moved so that he was sitting with his back against the chair, guiding Dean's cock into his mouth and letting John's momentum do the work of moving.

Dean's hands pounded against the chair in way of warning seconds before his cock began to fill Sam's mouth and John's own orgasm rippled through their connection seconds later. Sam's orgasm was almost an afterthought, his body shivering as he came with just one hand loosely around his cock.

For a moment they were all still, breathing heavily, then John pulled back, dropping to the couch. Dean moved slowly, heading to the bathroom, leaving Sam sitting on the floor. John wasn't done, Sam could tell without really thinking about how. They would spend the night, the three of them, exhausting each other until they could sleep and maybe burn off some of the frustration and worry in the process.

Blood rained down on his face, no matter which way he turned, hot and thick, until his skin was coated in it. Laughter burned the air and he wiped at his eyes frantically, trying to see. "Sam…" John's voice. He looked up, shaking as he watched John pinned to the ceiling, his hand reaching out as his stomach opened and fire licked around him.

"No! Sam screamed and the laughter returned, turning him, making him take a stumbling step away from John, only to find Dean, his eyes dead and accusing as they stared down at him from above."

"NO!" Sam sat up, sweating, his head pounding, blood pouring from his nose.

On either side of him Dean and John stirred, sitting up, wiping at sleepy eyes. "Sam?"

He pulled away from the hand Dean reached for him and climbed out of bed, heading for the bathroom to clean up the blood. He could taste it, could feel death clinging to him, darkness swirling around his feet, the cold hand of evil twisting around his stomach.

He washed his face and pulled wet hands through his hair. He knew Dean and John were waiting for an explanation, but Sam wasn’t sure he could face them. Not with the knowledge that they would both die.

"Sam?"

He opened the door and stepped out, not looking up. "He's here. He's coming for me." Dean's hand was on his arm.

"He can't have you, Sammy." Dean said softly.

He let himself be cajoled back to bed, warm between them and their whispered reassurances that they would protect him, but Sam knew. The Yellow Eyed Demon was in the Pegasus galaxy and coming for Sam. And when he came, blood would rain from the sky.

Nepal Disaster Relief

2015-04-28T13:36:06Z

Have you already donated to help in Nepal? Are you planning to? Have you thought about it at all?

How about if I sweeten the pot? How about if I write fic for you? For every dollar you donate to a charity working to aid in Nepal, I'll write words just for you.

Want something in an established verse? I'll do that (I'm even willing to delve into verses I've stated are closed or fandoms I'm not really active in anymore) Want some crazy, weird crossover? I'll do that. Want an unconventional pairing? I'm there. Want everyone to die? I can do that too. Want something original? Maybe even a time stamp or other bit from something published? Yep, I'll do that too.

Bear in mind the bigger the donation, the more words, and for complicated story lines more words are required.

So, what is it I'm actually offering? So glad you asked.

$5= 500 words (I think I can still do something that small)
$10= 1000 words
$20= 2500 words
$50= 6000 words
$100 = 15000 words

If you're thinking of donating a different amount, we can negotiate a word count. Bear in mind, these are minimum word counts...you know I can get verbose.

So, pick your charity. Pick your donation amount. Donate. Comment here with your donation amount and your request. Screenshots of receipts, particularly of larger amounts are welcome.

Prompting

2015-04-24T14:27:10Z

So, you may have noticed I haven't posted lately. See, I'm having a terrible bout of writer's block.

I'm hoping some of you can help. I'm seeking prompts. Pick a fandom you know I write in, pick a character or two (or three), and give me an image, a list of words, a situation....you know, spark something. This includes my original fic, if you've read it, or are privy to the stuff currently in my WIP folder.

It can also be a time stamp for anything I've written, different POV for anything I've written, you name it. And go ahead and list as many as you want. I've got a weekend coming that I'd like to use to get the juices flowing again.

The Resurrection of Neal Caffrey, Part Two, White Collar, NC-17

2015-02-21T20:34:12Z

Fandom: White Collar
Title: The Resurrection of Neal Caffrey
Characters: Neal Caffrey, Sara Ellis, Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke
Word Count: 14723
Rating: NC-17 (for strong language, memory & concequences of rape and torture)
Summary: SPOILER WARNING for the series finale. Sara Ellis is working what she thought was a simple art theft ring, but finds herself in a world where anything, even lives, can be bought, sold or rented out for the right price. When she finds a familiar face in that dark, disturbing world she knows she has to do something.

A/Ns & Warnings: THIS IS VERY DARK FIC. Warnings include graphic violence and rape (off screen), memories of graphic violence and rape, talk of suicide. There are spoilers for the series finale.

Peter was gone the next time he woke up, the chair empty and for a minute terror pounded through him. He sat up slowly, wincing as pain blossomed across his back and around his ribs. He didn't get much further than that before he realized he wasn't going anywhere and sank back down.

His body thundered it's response to his movement, deep aches around his chest and searing shots of pain flaring in a number of places. His head throbbed hard enough it brought tears to his eyes. There was a shadow across the door and Neal tensed up, half expecting one of his tormentors had found him.

Instead, it was an older man in a lab coat, a tablet in his hand. He paused in the doorway and looked up, meeting Neal's gaze. "Hello, Mr. Longabaugh. I'm Dr. Bell. Is it okay if I come in and speak with you?"

Neal nodded guardedly. The doctor smiled slightly and came into the room, stopping at the end of the bed. "We pulled back a little on your meds, how are you feeling?"

"It hurts." Neal responded, his voice only a little stronger than it had been before.

"I imagine it does. If it's intolerable, I can give you something."

Part of him wanted to ask for it, for the escape into the peace of sleep, away from the pain and the memory it brought to mind. "I'm okay for now."

"Good. Do you know how you got here?"

Neal licked his dry lips. "My friend, Peter…I don't really remember how…"

The doctor nodded and tapped at the tablet. "That's okay. Do you remember what happened to you?"

Neal looked away. He didn't want to remember. "Enough," he responded.

"Can you tell me?"

Neal's face was hot and his hands clenched up. "I was…grabbed." He shook his head. "I…they hurt me."

Dr. Bell took a step closer, setting the tablet down. "Do you know who hurt you?"

Faces flashed through his mind, none of them complete, none of them more than another in the long string of men who had abused him. "No."

"Okay. You should know that your friend contacted Interpol. They've asked several times if you were well enough for them to come talk to you."

"I don't…I don't think I'm ready for that." Neal said, his fingers clenching at the thin hospital blanket.

Dr. Bell nodded. "I told them that, but they are an insistent bunch. Now, I'd like to examine you, check your wounds, if that's okay." He watched Neal's face as his hands moved to the blanket at the end of the bed, pulling it up and folding it so that Neal's legs were exposed from mid-thigh down.

His right foot was bandaged, covering the damage done by a nail gun as he'd hung from chains around his wrists, his feet barely touching the floor. Three nails were shot through his foot into the floor. It had been early on in his captivity, when he still had a voice to scream.

The doctor put on a pair of gloves and lifted the bandage, frowning a little. "This isn't healing as well as I would like. Can you tell me what made this wound?"

"Nail gun." Neal said softly, shifting uncomfortably.

Dr. Bell picked up the tablet and tapped on it a few times. "We may have to go in to clean this out. I'm going to switch your antibiotic and see if that helps." He moved his attention then, up Neal's legs. There were matching bruises, an inch apart like a ladder up his legs. There were matching marks, he knew, on the back of his calves.

Neal's left knee was wrapped in an elastic bandage, which Dr. Bell gently removed to reveal the spectacular color and size of a knee that had been kicked, slammed into concrete, hit with a number of objects and purposefully wrenched out of place more than once.

"The swelling has come down. Not enough to get a really good idea of the damage, but it's better. Once you're a little stronger, we'll get an MRI and decide if it needs surgery."

Neal flushed with heat as the doctor's hands moved up his thighs to the marks left by the whip. It had ripped open the tender skin. The man who had done it had followed it up with a stick of some kind, beating his thighs and stomach...and everything in between.

As the doctor removed bandages, Neal could see the stitches where the worst of the wounds had been. "These are doing well. The stitches will be ready to come out in a few days." The doctor stepped back, his eyes meeting Neal's again. "I have one of the nurses prepping fresh bandages. I would like her to assist me."

Neal nodded and he went to the door, talking to someone before coming back to Neal. A few minutes later a nurse came in with a cart loaded up with supplies, closing the door behind her. "Start with the foot." Dr. Bell said.

The woman looked at Neal with a soft smile before she donned a pair of gloves and set about re-bandaging his foot. While she did that, Dr. Bell turned his attention to Neal's right arm. There were burn marks up the inside, from wrist to elbow. Neal's stomach churned as the memory surged. He'd been strapped down, his arms over his head, his feet held in manacles, spread open and held up by chains while three men took turns fucking him, hitting him and burning him with a cigar. He knew there were matching burns on the backs of his left thigh.

Above the burns, on the outside of his upper arm the doctor removed another bandage, exposing the cuts, six in total, from a knife, one for each time a particular man had his fun. The nurse finished re-bandaging his thighs and folded the blanket down.

"Can you sit up?" the doctor asked softly, his hand on Neal's shoulder. The touch burned with memory of the way that shoulder had burned when it had been yanked out of socket for the first time. Neal pushed the memory away and did his best to sit up as the nurse came up his left side to help. "I'm going to loosen the gown so we can get to your chest and back now."

He felt fingers fumbling with the drawstring, then the meager fabric was sagging. His breath tightened as they moved over the expanse of his back, unable to even begin cataloguing all of the marks and pain. He remembered hours of torture, with various whips and sticks and fists, the burns, the cuts…but it all blurred together into a tapestry of torment that he couldn't put into any coherent order.

By the time they reached the start of his ass, Neal was trembling, partly from pain and partly from the cacophony of memories crashing into him.

"You're doing very well, Mr. Longabaugh. Just a few more minutes."

Neal clenched his teeth and closed his good eye, hands fisted in the blanket, panting through his nose as they finished re-bandaging and then slowly guided him to lay back. His back was alive with fiery pain and there was no way to lay comfortably as the doctor peeled the gown down to check Neal's chest.

There too were marks from the various whips and other tools, burns from everything from cigarettes on up to an iron rod they heated to glowing red before shoving it against his skin. Neal closed his eyes and tried to ignore them, the hands moving over his skin and the memories that bombarded him and finally he heard the doctor murmur that they were done.

Neal listened to the nurse and cart leave, then the doctor said, "Okay, I'm going to give you something for the pain now. You should rest."

Neal didn't fight the feeling as the drug leeched into him, just let it take him away from the pain and the fear that came with it.

The medical chart read like a litany of a lifetime's pains, the full account of the injuries unfathomable, even as she stared at it, the purloined tablet in her hands heavy. She set it down and paced to the door of the room and back, pointedly not looking at the bed, at Neal on that bed.

They'd taken him back to surgery twice in the last three days as his fever soared and the infection in his foot had gotten worse. He was still facing surgery on the knee, but they wanted to wait now until he had recovered more.

In all, it had been nearly a week since he first woke up, almost twice that since she first saw him in that cage in Monaco and she still couldn't believe any of it was real. Peter was working with Interpol, gone back to Monaco while they set up their plan, with promises to be back soon, which left her alone to be there for Neal.

She sank into the chair with a sigh. At least the staff at the hospital had been great, and the information they had provided had helped them build a profile of what Neal had been through, which had gone a long way in getting Interpol on board with the investigation.

Neal shifted on the bed, his breathing suddenly speeding up, his hands lifting as if to push someone away. His scream tore through the room, through her, his voice ripping under the strain as he thrashed. Sara jumped to her feet, but fell back to the chair as two nurses bustled in, getting their hands on Neal's body to calm him, holding him to the bed as he fought them. "He's bleeding again, page Dr. Bell."

"Mr. Longabough, I need you to listen to me. "

Neal's left eye snapped open, swiveling from the nurse to Sara and back again, fear filling the blue depths. He nodded and they loosened up their grip. "I can give you a sedative." Neal shook his head and visibly worked at getting his breathing slowed. "Okay good. It looks like you tore some stitches. I need you to lie still until Dr. Bell can evaluate the damage."

"I'm okay." Neal's voice was back to barely a whisper. He was calmer though, even as Dr. Bell joined them, going immediately to the side of the bed, his nimble fingers moving the gown to expose bloodied bandages on Neal's thigh and side.

Sara sat and watched as they worked on the problem. She blinked when she felt Neal's gaze, turning to look at him, uncertain what she saw in his eye.

"Okay, that should do it." Dr. Bell said as the nurse beside him taped down new bandages. "Mr. Longabough, I've left a standing order for something that should help you sleep without dreaming. All you need to do is ask. I am also going to have a colleague of mine come by to talk with you. Her name is Dr. Elizabeth Moore."

The medical staff withdrew, leaving Sara alone with Neal and no idea what to say. He shifted uncomfortably, grimacing. Sara stood, grabbing his plastic cup from the table. "Let me get you some water." She filled the cup in the bathroom sink and brought it back, setting it down on the table. "Is there anything…."

His hand lifted to touch hers and she stilled, her heart thumping. "Just…sit with me." Neal whispered, tangling their fingers together. She sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, letting him hold her hand. "Is it that bad?" Neal asked, his free hand moving to his face, brushing over the bruises and swelling.

"No, not at all." Sara said, looking at their fingers.

"You don't look at me."

She wasn't sure what to say, letting her thumb stroke over his hand. "I can't help but see you…there." She looked up at him, then away. "And I couldn't…" She shook her head.

"Not your fault." Neal whispered.

She knew it was. "I left you there for two days." God only knew what they had done to him in those two days. She didn't want to think about it, but it was all she could think about. "I am so sorry."

He closed his good eye and licked his lips. "I thought I was going to die there." He looked up at her, his hand tightening on hers. "I'd stopped looking for a way out. I gave up." Sara shivered under the weight of his gaze, the shadows of what happened in that place fighting with the truth that he had survived. "You saved me."

Peter hustled out of the airport and hailed a cab, giving the driver the name and address of the hospital. He had worked with Interpol and had gone home for a few days, but Interpol had contacted him, telling him that his witness continued to refuse to talk to them, and a request had been made for Peter to be officially assigned to the international task force that had been set up, specifically as the liaison between their only living witness and the task force.

Sara said that they had moved Neal out of ICU and into a private room. He had surgery scheduled for the knee at the end of the week, but was otherwise making progress. He paid the driver once they reached the hospital and headed inside, double checking the text from Sara for the room number.

He spotted the Interpol agents as he turned down the hallway, nodding to them as he passed. They were keeping an eye on Neal, even though no one believed he was in any danger. At least not yet. Of course, there was also the very real possibility that Neal would run, just as soon as he was strong enough to. Peter was aware of that.

The door to Neal's room was open and he paused only for a moment before stepping in. Neal was on the bed, his face pale except for the slowly fading bruises. His left leg was encased in a splint and his right foot was still wrapped in bandages. He turned his head slowly, a smile tugging at his lips as he spotted Peter.

"You look a lot better than the last time I saw you." Peter said, dropping his bag by the chair. The swelling on his face was mostly gone, though the eye was still taped closed and the red lines still stood out from the pale skin.

Neal shifted on the bed as Peter pulled the chair closer. "Sara said you had gone home." Neal said, his voice still raspy.

"I did. I came back to see how you were doing." He sat, trying to decide how to broach the subject, but now that he was here, and the reality of what had happened to Neal was visceral again, he wasn't sure he could. "So? How are you doing?"

Neal shrugged and he looked away. "I'm…better, I guess. Doc says the infection is under control. Can't really walk yet." He gestured at his feet. "But, you know…better."

Peter nodded, then inhaled slowly. "Interpol tells me that you haven't been willing to talk to them, and Sara tells me that you won't talk to the psychologist."

Neal made a face and crossed his arms, then dropped them again as pain crept into the grimace. He huffed out a sigh and shook his head. "I don't remember."

They both knew it was a lie. "Dr. Bell said some amnesia was to be expected." Peter said. "But, Neal, you need to talk to someone."

"See, this is why they need to fix my knee, so I can walk out of conversations like this." Neal said. "I don't want to talk to someone. I don't want to remember. I just want to…I want to forget it happened."

Peter couldn't begrudge him that. "You should know that Interpol is working to get Phillip Dedeaux, and all of his associates."

Neal squinted at him. "Who?"

"The man that…runs the place where Sara found you."

He nodded slowly, his face confused as he seemed to parse through whatever he did remember. "I…never…" He shook his head.

Peter put his hand on Neal's. "It's okay. You don't have to try so hard." He sighed and stood. "I'm going to let you get some rest. I need to check into my hotel and I should call El."

Neal stiffened and his hand caught Peter's. "She doesn't know. Please, Peter, tell me she doesn't know."

Peter offered him a smile. "She knows you're alive, and that you're in the hospital, but no. I didn't tell her anything else."

Neal's eye closed and he looked relieved as he let go of Peter's hand.

He pushed the chair back and retrieved his bag. "Get some rest. I'll be back in a few hours."

It was safe to say that Elizabeth suspected that the situation was more dire than he'd let on. After all, he'd married an intelligent woman. He pulled his phone out , debating calling her, but he didn't make the decision before it was ringing though, with her caller ID.

"Hey, hon." Peter said, stepping out of the hospital doors.

"How is he?"

"Better." Peter said. "At least physically."

"My parents are here. I'm coming to you."

Peter stopped walking, shaking his head. "I don't think that's a great idea, El."

"Nonsense. I'm already packed and have my plane ticket. I'll be there tomorrow."

Peter sighed, knowing he'd never talk her out of it. "Okay, I'm heading to my hotel to check in now. I'll leave you a key at the front desk. Just wait for me there."

He was still tethered to the IV, and he wasn't supposed to walk on the bad knee, but sitting in the bed had gotten old and he'd convinced the nurses to bring him a wheel chair so he could at least sit in that, move around some. It helped him feel less trapped to know he could sit in the chair or hobble to the bathroom, even look out the window, though his view only included part of a parking lot.

Interpol had come several times, but Neal had sent them away. He wasn't ready for the questions. Sara visited often, but he felt awkward and she couldn't seem to look at him and then he would remember what she had seen and his face would burn. She would apologize and leave.

She'd only been gone a few minutes, and Neal was staring out the window, tears burning the corners of his eyes. He knew it was wrong to feel the way he did, knew he'd be dead know if she hadn't seen him, hadn't called in favors and risked her life to save his.

His face was still burning when he heard Peter behind him. Peter didn't say anything, just sat in the chair and waited. Neal exhaled and turned slowly, trying to avoid stretching scabbing skin on his back or rub still healing cuts the wrong way. "I don't know…." He sounded more like himself and it didn't hurt to talk anymore. He didn't know what he was trying to say, so he shook his head and turned back to the window.

His reflection still seemed like it belonged to someone else, the welts a little less angry, but still red and stark against the paleness of his face. His eye was less painful, and even opened and closed on its own, though they had kept it taped down. He knew Peter wanted him to give names, descriptions. Sara had told him that they needed Neal to tell Interpol what he knew, expected him to just tell strangers the darkest secrets he'd ever had to hold on to.

The psychologist had encouraged him to tell Peter what he could, once Neal finally let her do more than sit in the chair beside him. She had been there when he woke up from a screaming nightmare, when he'd been more vulnerable and couldn't hide behind his carefully constructed veneer.

He blinked back tears as he stared out the window. "I never saw him," he said finally. "The man you want." He licked his lips and stared at a faded blue car out in the lot. "I mean…I'm sure I did, but I don't know him."

He knew the voice, the way it claimed him, made him feel small and alone, like an object to be owned. It had come in those first few hours, when he was loopy from the drugs and couldn't keep his eyes open, when they stripped him and prepped him for the first man to abuse him.

But that man…Neal knew him.

He inhaled slowly and let it out just as slowly, trying to calm the sudden flare of fear and the rapidly increasing rate of his heart. He hid behind adjusting the way his left leg sat in front of him, fiddling with the brace and shifting in the chair.

He opened his mouth twice before he finally got the words to come out, and he couldn't look at Peter when they did. "His name was Efram Milton." Neal said, his voice soft and trembling. He couldn't look at him and say what needed to be said. "Lord Efram Milton. He…"

His hands were shaking and he made fists with them, his eyes closing. He could almost see it, the moment they met, the moment he was marked for what would follow. "I was there for the art, the gallery. He introduced himself while I was admiring a Matisse."

The music had been soft, the crowd dressed to the nines. He'd sipped at his champagne as he analyzed all the possible ways he could steal the pieces he liked most. He hadn't actually planned on stealing anything, but it was a reflex. "We talked art for a few minutes. He said something about liking to own beautiful things. He liked being able to keep them where no one else could see them. He made me uncomfortable."

Something had sparked when the man had touched his arm. It wasn't a casual touch, it was like the answer was a forgone conclusion, the question a formality. "He asked me to dinner."

"He was hitting on you?" Peter asked. His voice was gentle, but Neal still started. He'd nearly forgotten Peter was in the room.

He nodded. "I guess. I politely excused myself, mingled with the crowd. I left not long after, and I forgot about him. The next night I saw him again, in the lobby of my hotel. A few hours later, my room went dark and I…." Something in his dinner had been dosed with something. Before the lights went out he'd already been feeling the effects, and by the time large hands were holding him down, he'd been unable to fight.

He was shaking, he could feel it. "He told me that I should have gone with him, had dinner, let him…but I didn't and so I would have to pay." He needed to move, but he covered his face with his hands, hiding the shame that was filling him. His face burned as he remembered the moment he understood, when he was naked and already hurting, his body tied down and stretched open. Milton had waited until his cock had filled Neal's ass, then pulled the blindfold off, grinning down at him as he fucked hard and fast into Neal.

"Neal, I know this has to be hard, but I need you to tell me what he did." Peter said softly. Neal could tell that he'd moved, that he'd stood and was closer.

Neal nodded. "I know. I just…" His voice cracked and he swallowed. Tears burned and his stomach tightened. "It was just him, at first." For three days, Milton had raped him and assaulted him with his fists and various instruments, beating him and shoving them into him and when it was over, it had really only just begun. He swallowed, wishing he could go somewhere else, that they could not be here, in this room, at this window. "Can we….I need….air. I need some air."

"Just a sec." Peter moved his IV bag onto the chair's pole before pushing him out of the room.

They were quiet as Peter took them down corridors, down to the ground floor and out into a small courtyard. The air was brisk, but not really cold and there was weak sunlight filtering through thin clouds. Unconsciously, Neal turned his face up into the light, breathing in deep.

It had been so long since he'd breathed fresh air. He savored it for a moment while Peter got them settled where they wouldn't be casually overheard, even though the courtyard was empty at the moment.

Peter let him be for a long moment before he cleared his throat to draw Neal back. "So, tell me about Milton."

Neal opened his eyes and nodded. "He's mid-forties, British, uses the title like a weapon. Arrogant, brutal." He swallowed. "He, um. He paid them to grab me. Said I was worth the money." Peter was watching him intently, and he knew well enough that Peter was likely recording the conversation. He needed to if they were going to convict the men who had hurt him. "He spent hours with me over three days." Back then he'd still had a sense of time, and there had been a rhythm to the whole thing.

Milton came in the early evening, and left near midnight. "I don't remember pieces." He rubbed at the spot on his head that still hurt the most.

"The doctor said that might happen." Peter offered gently.

Neal was staling and they both knew it. He looked down at the paving stones that made up the courtyard. "Milton…had them tie me down. He hit me. He…" Neal breathed through the rush of memory, the realization of what was about to happen, the thrashing against the restraints, the panic, the pain. His hands gripped the arms of the wheelchair as he dragged air in, trying to keep himself from vomiting onto the ground beneath him.

"It's okay." Peter murmured, his hand on Neal's. "You're not ready."

"NO!" He hadn't meant to yell it, but Peter pulled his hand back. His face was wet, his gaze unfocused someplace over Peter's shoulder. "He wasn't gentle. It hurt, not like anything I'd ever…" He knew Peter needed him to say it. "He r-raped me. More times than I can count." In fact he could count them. Every one of them. Each time he fucked him, each time he used something to fuck him. Neal knew exactly, but Peter didn't need to know that, they wouldn't need an exact number to arrest the bastard.

Tears rolled unchecked down his face. "He beat me and when he was done with me, he gave me to the others, but by then…." He shook his head, sniffling and wiping at his face.

Peter's hand was on his again, a gentle caress that was comforting. For a long time they sat in the gathering shadows as the sun moved behind the building on its way to setting. "Those first few nights…I wondered if you….but I knew you'd never even know." He looked up and Peter offered him a smile.

"You disappeared really well that last time, Neal. If Sara hadn't gotten mixed up with Phillip Dedeaux, we would never have found you."

Neal nodded, his mind flashing back to the memory that he knew was real now, not just some fantasy of his mind as he prepared to die. "She never told me how…just…" He brought his hands together, fingers weaving together and out and back again before he clenched them and stretched them and rubbed up his arms. It was becoming a habit whenever he woke or felt the panic of being caged in the leather mitts creep up on him. He felt Peter's eyes and crooked a half smile before returning his hands to the arms of the chair. "I…After the first time with Milton, I managed to pick the lock on my cage. That was when they put the mitts on me. They also kept me pretty drugged when I wasn't being…used."

They were both quiet then for a long time as the dark settled around them. Finally Peter stirred. "I should get you back inside." He stood, but stopped before he got behind Neal, turning to look down at him. "Thank you. For trusting me."

"Peter, you're probably the only person in the world that I trust." Neal said sincerely. Peter pushed him toward the doors and into the hospital. They were nearly to Neal's room when he heard a familiar voice and reached out a hand to stop them. "Peter, please tell me…"

But Peter didn't have to say anything as a woman standing at the nurse's station near his room turned. Neal's hands grabbed at the wheels to stop their forward movement, even as Peter realized. "El? What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't wait any more." Her eyes were on Neal's face, even as Peter left him and went to his wife.

Neal was suddenly very conscious of the scars and scabs and bandages in places that showed, turning his face so that the bad eye and the welts and bruising wouldn't be the first thing she saw. He pulled the arms of his robe down and made the wheel chair move, keeping his face averted as he maneuvered into his room. Peter must have sensed his discomfort, keeping her distracted while he did.

Neal got close to the bed and leveraged himself out of the chair, fighting to get up and into the bed with his legs under the blanket before Elizabeth got a good look. His knees wobbled and the IV was pulling and he was trembling with the effort, already so far past his point of exhaustion.

He got as far as sitting on the bed, panting, unable to do more without moving the IV bag, and not sure he could stand again. Peter was there then, bringing the chair closer and getting the bag off it. Neal could see Elizabeth in the door way as Peter leaned over him to hang the bag back up, but Peter blocked her as he moved to help Neal lift his legs up and sooth the blanket over him.

Peter's eyes met his, clearly asking if it was okay, or if he should send her away. He wanted to beg for Peter to make her go, but now that she'd seen him, it wouldn't be easy to keep her away, so he nodded guardedly. Peter withdrew and moved the wheelchair out of the way, holding out his hand to Elizabeth.

She came slowly, tears in her eyes as she looked him over, but he fought to smile at her, sure it didn't fully come across. "It's not as bad as it looks."

She blinked and tears fell as she got closer. "Neal…" She seemed at a loss for words though and instead just took his hand and sat beside him on the edge of the bed. Her eyes moved from the nearly flawless skin of his hands up over the myriad marks and scars and bandages on his arm, like she was cataloguing all of the injuries she could see.

"I'm going to be fine, Elizabeth." Neal said, drawing her eyes to his face. Her eyes widened a little and he turned to show her his good side. "Really. The doctor is very encouraging."

Her fingers touched his chin, turning his head back so that she could see the bruises and the welt that stretched from his hairline, over the eye and down over his cheek and onto his neck. He took her hands and kissed them lightly, but he couldn't look her in the eye, because her tears only made him ready to cry. It took a long moment, but she breathed in deep and wiped her face. "Peter says you have the best doctor here, and that he's taking good care of you," she said once she'd pulled herself together.

"And Peter tells me that you have a beautiful baby boy." Neal said, hoping she would take the hint and move the conversation in a less direction less directed at him.

She smiled. "He's beautiful, and amazing."

"Peter won't tell me what you named him."

She slapped at Peter playfully. Peter held up his hands. "To be fair, we have been occupied by other things."

"We named him after you." Elizabeth said proudly, smiling at him.

"To be fair, you were dead at the time." Peter added, sliding his arm around El.

"I bet that went over well." Neal said, smiling himself. It felt good to smile. And if he let himself relax, it felt a little bit like home. At least until he closed his eyes.

The bedroom on the ground floor of Sara's London home felt safe, more so than the hospital ever had. The dark wood paneling seemed to stifle sound, like no one could raise their voice in the presence of walls that had stood since the eighteenth century.

Neal slid his legs into the pants Sara had bought him, then slipped the brace on over it. He tightened the Velcro straps and stood, zipping his pants as he limped toward the chair his shirt was draped over. The reflection that looked back at him still didn't look like the man he had been before he'd met Lord Efram Milton, but maybe that was a good thing. His eye was back to normal and the welts had faded to faint scars that altered his face. His chest was marked, some of the wounds had healed with scarcely a sign they'd been there, others left puffy pink scar tissue to mark their place.

Peter had gone home, or at least back to work. He hadn't said much beyond telling Neal he'd be back. Elizabeth had stayed, helped him get moved into Sara's house after the last surgery so that he could finish recovering, though he was pretty convinced that her real reason for staying was to talk him into returning to New York. She wanted him to come home.

At the moment he could only think about getting past the fear that rode him whenever he had to be with people he didn't know. The panic would grip him and he'd freeze and terror would drop memory bombs on him until he couldn't breathe.

There was a brief knock at his door, then he heard Elizabeth gasp behind him. Neal pulled the shirt on quickly, covering the evidence of his trauma. She'd only ever seen his arms and part of his legs and knew only a small amount about what had happened. He turned and she blinked, pulled her focus back and nodded, even smiled. "Neal, I mean Henry, the Interpol agent is here."

"You would think Peter could have come up with a better name." Neal said, shaking his head as he tucked the shirt in. "I mean, obvious much?"

She came into the room, fussing with his shirt and picking at some lint. "You'll always be the Sundance to his Butch Cassidy." Her eyes met his, asking permission without saying anything. He nodded and she hugged him close. It was warm and familiar and comfortable, and if he could he might like to just wallow in it, but there were people waiting and he still had a job to do, a character to play.

He kissed her hair and she stepped back. "Thank you, Elizabeth."

He reached for the cane and went out to greet the agent who had been assigned to be his liaison to a task force that had become a giant international operation. She was waiting in the formal living room, admiring the art on the walls. "Agent Cauly, it's good to see you again."

She turned, smiling. "Mr. Longabough, it is good to see you up and around."

"And wearing pants." Neal joked, gesturing for her to sit. "And I told you before, it's Henry." He sat opposite her, settling the cane against the couch.

"Okay, Henry, I came by to let you know that Efram Milton has been arrested in Madrid."

Neal's heart sped up and he shook his head lightly, trying to clear it of a sudden buzz of white noise. "He…what?" Some part of him had been convinced the man would never be found, that he wasn't real, just a name hung out for a particular purpose much like Nick Halden or any of the names he'd used for a con. "I mean, that's good."

She offered a soft smile. "We're going to want you to come in and make a positive ID, of course."

He nodded, but his head was still scrambling over his last memories of the man. He had left Neal bleeding, his head ringing, his body trembling on the dirty floor, spitting on him in contempt. Neal had watched him walk away, knowing he had been condemned to die for the sin of brushing off the man's attempt to seduce him.

He blinked himself back into an awareness of the room and the uncomfortable feeling of someone trying to gracefully give him the space to deal with his inner turmoil. He looked up at the agent and exhaled. "Yes, of course."

"Good. He should be in our custody this afternoon."

He nodded, looking up as Sara came into the room with a file folder. "Sorry to interrupt, but I finished putting my information together. I wanted you to have a copy."

Agent Cauley stood and Neal withdrew from the conversation, breathing through the knot of fear that was tied around his stomach. It was silly. None of the men involved could trace anything to him. They wouldn't come looking. He was safe.

Except for how he suddenly didn't feel so safe at all. He struggled to his feet and limped out of the room, wanting to escape out into the garden where he could breathe. The air was chill and a thick rain was falling, but it didn't matter. He stood in the open air and let the rain drench him, tilting his face up into it. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt rain on his skin.

The chill settled into him after a few minutes, and he knew he should head inside, but inside was filled with too much expectation and he wasn't ready to face it. Leaving New York, leaving behind Neal Caffrey had been supposed to set him free, but he wasn't free and Neal Caffrey was still with him. Neal Caffrey had saved him in a lot of ways. Or maybe just dragged him back from the brink of the only freedom he was beginning to believe existed.

"Neal."

He didn't look up from his packing. "I'm almost done."

"No." Her hand came down on his. "Don't leave. Not like this."

He turned to her. "Sara, you've been…I've stayed too long." He knew that he was making her uncomfortable. He couldn't shake the fear, the terror that gripped him randomly. Any conversation could kick him into a spiral of fists and rods, being forced to his knees, kicked, bent over…until he was choking on air, struggling to breathe, to shake free.

She took his hands and turned him to face her, her eyes searching his. "No, you haven't. You should stay."

He sighed and lifted their hands, kissing over her knuckles. "We both know you've done more than your share here. You have a life to get back to. You don't need to be nurse-maiding me."

"Where will you go? You can't even cope with me in the same room, how are you going to handle being out there?"

He went back to his packing. Part of him knew she was right, but he knew he was too. He couldn't keep hurting her with how much he hurt. "I'll find somewhere." He fit the last of the clothes into the duffle bag and zipped it up. "I don't know."

"I don't want you to go." Sara said softly.

"I know the feeling." Neal responded. Elizabeth had gone home to Peter, and their son. She'd told him he was always welcome, but he knew he couldn't be there any more than he could be here. They knew too much, he could see it in their eyes when he pulled himself out of the memory, when he woke from the nightmares, his throat raw from screaming. Their guilt was crushing him. He leaned in, kissed her cheek. "I can't ever thank you."

The truth was, at times he wondered if it wouldn't have been better if she had left him there, if she had let him die there. More than once he'd considered the unthinkable…usually in the early hours of the morning, when he hadn't slept in days because he was afraid of his dreams. Something stopped him every time, but he was pretty sure that if he didn't start finding a way to cope, one day there would be nothing left to stop him.

"I'm serious, Neal."

"I know you are, Sara. I do. But I can't…I can't be here with you right now." He closed his eyes and inhaled, letting it out slowly. "When I was in the hospital, and you wouldn't look at me, do you remember what you said?"

"That I kept seeing you there, in that place."

He nodded. "I look at you and I am there. I'm broken and dirty and waiting in a cage for whatever came next…the next time someone would whip me so bad the blood covered my body, or the next time they chained me over that bench so that they could fuck me over and over again." Sara flinched and took a step back, but he knew it was how he would get her to let him go. "And I know that isn't fair to you, but I can't seem to stop and I can't…I can't be myself again until I can stop being him." His hand tightened on the bag and he lifted it, stepping around her. He paused at the door to the bedroom for his cane and his hat. "Goodbye, Sara."

She wouldn't follow him, he knew that. The cab was waiting at the curb to take him away, to wherever it was he was going. He just wasn’t sure exactly where that was.

Someplace that wasn't here. Anywhere but here.

Epilogue

Thunder shook the house and Peter padded on bare feet around the end of the bed to find El walking the nursery with Neal, trying to cajole him back to sleep. Peter watched her for a moment, then glanced over his shoulder, certain he'd heard something more than the heavy rain that the storm was dropping on them.

He moved back to the bedroom for his gun, taking the stairs quietly and looking through the downstairs. He was about ready to go back upstairs, convinced it was nothing, when a shadow moved outside. He moved to the door to look, squinting into the darkness. It was nearly four in the morning and the storm made it darker still.

Peter eased the door open, eyes sliding across the street for anything out of place. There was a bit off sound, part sob, part fear and Peter looked down. He frowned as he tried to figure out the dark shape huddled on his front step. He opened the screen door, gun still at his side, and stepped out onto the top step.

"Neal?"

He was soaked with rain, his thin frame shaking. Peter stepped down one step, shivering as the rain started pelting him. "Neal?"

He pulled away as Peter touched him, moving enough that Peter could see the gun in his hand. "Neal, it's Peter."

He lifted his head a little, enough for Peter to see his face in the dim light spilling from inside. His eyes were sunken and rimmed in red and didn't seem to focus on anything. "Help me?" Neal asked, his voice barely audible.

Peter nodded, putting his gun down on the floor just inside the door and coming down to the same step as Neal. "How, Neal? How can I help?"

Water dripped from his face and he lifted the gun with a wobbly hand. "I can't….I can't…" He brought the gun up to his ear.

Peter reached for his hand, but stopped short of touching him. "Give me the gun, Neal." His eyes looked up at Peter, begging him to take the pain away. "Let me help, Neal. Give me the gun."

"Make it stop."

Peter nodded, his hand closing over Neal's, dragging it away from his head. "Okay, that's it. Let me have the gun and I'll get you the help you need."

"Honey, the baby's down--Peter?" Elizabeth appeared at the door, gasping as Peter finally got Neal to let go of the gun.

"El, we're going to need some towels, and I need you to take this." He leaned toward her with the gun, handing it off to El who reached out to meet him part way. "Get mine too."

"Towels, right. I'll be right back."

She disappeared into the house with the weapons and Peter inched closer to Neal. He could smell the alcohol now. "Okay, Neal, how about we get you inside?"

He didn't respond, but didn't jerk away from him as Peter got his hands under Neal's shoulders and pulled him up. They stumbled up the steps and in through the door as El appeared with towels, handing some to Peter as she shook out others.

Peter draped a towel around Neal's shoulders, rubbing to try to warm him. Elizabeth echoed the motion with him. "Maybe some coffee?" Elizabeth nodded to herself and went to start the coffee while he stood with Neal, soaking up as much of the rain as he could with towels.

Once he wasn't dripping, Peter led him to the dining room table, getting him to sit. He stared dully at the floor, but it let Peter get a better look at him.

He had disappeared from Sara's house in London almost three months before, gone without a trace. He was still very thin, painfully so. The scars on his arms were healed, but garish and white or shades of pink, some sunken like they'd been etched into him, others raised and soft looking.

El appeared with coffee and Peter set a cup in Neal's hands, wrapping his fingers around it. Peter didn't know how to begin to help. "Maybe we should call someone. He needs more help than we're going to be able to give him, El."

She nodded. "I'll be back."

She left the room and Neal sort of shook, blinking and lifting his head to look around him. "Peter?"

He pulled a chair close and sat. "It's okay, Neal. Try to get some of this coffee into you, warm you up."

Tears were spilling from Neal's eyes as he shook his head. "I'm sorry. I can't make it stop." He looked up, lifted his hands, spilling coffee over them. Peter rescued the cup and Neal grabbed him. "You made it stop. Before. You saved me. Why? Why, Peter? I can't….no more…no more…"

He curled forward, crying into Peter's lap, his shoulders quaking as he sobbed. Peter caressed over Neal's head and shoulders, uncertain what else he could do. Elizabeth reappeared a few minutes later.

"My father is calling in a favor. There's a private facility just outside the city. He suggested we try to get him warmed up, get him to sleep. He'll call when he's made the arrangements." El said softly.

Peter nodded. Neal's sobs had quieted, and Peter shifted so that he could help Neal sit up. He didn't look up, his eyes dazed and unfocused. "I'll see if I can get him into the shower. Why don't you make up the couch for him."

Neal was vaguely aware of Peter cajoling him into a hot shower, dressing him in sweats and a t-shirt, of Elizabeth settling a blanket over him. It wasn't sleep, but he didn't have the energy to fight anymore. He'd tried to outrun it, keep moving, keep drinking, keep hiding…but it was too strong and he was slipping away into the darkness of it.

He closed his eyes and it gripped him a little tighter.

He could hear Peter and Elizabeth talking softly, could hear something…someone else…

A tiny hand touched his face and Neal opened his eyes. "Neal, leave…"

The boy was standing there, smiling at him, his hand on Neal's face as Elizabeth came toward them, kneeling beside the boy, her smile warm, her voice soft. "Neal, this is Neal."

He clapped his little hands and laughed, then leaned forward, his mouth wet and open as he pressed his lips to Neal's chin. He lifted a hand from under the blankets, tracing a finger over the tiny face. "Neal…"

Elizabeth was holding him now, and she wiped the baby drool off of his face. Neal felt himself smiling…not the forced image he'd projected to make people around him feel better, but a genuine smile, his hand chasing after baby Neal to touch his soft skin. "He's beautiful." Neal whispered.

"Our ride is here." Peter said from the door.

Neal sat up, pushing the blanket away. He wasn't sure where they were going, but he trusted Peter to make it better…even if he wasn't sure what better looked like. He hurt all over, the ache of too much and not enough, as he stood, drawing Elizabeth in to hug her and the baby, kissing that soft head. "Thank you."

He let Peter guide him out the door. The sun was rising as they came down the steps where he'd found himself hours before, not even sure how he'd gotten there. For the first time in a while, he welcomed the warmth, turning his face into the glow. The road seemed to shimmer, like a promise that something better waited for him.

The Resurrection of Neal Caffrey, Part One, White Collar, NC-17

2015-02-21T20:30:41Z

Fandom: White Collar
Title: The Resurrection of Neal Caffrey
Characters: Neal Caffrey, Sara Ellis, Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke
Word Count: 14723
Rating: NC-17 (for strong language, memory & concequences of rape and torture)
Summary: SPOILER WARNING for the series finale. Sara Ellis is working what she thought was a simple art theft ring, but finds herself in a world where anything, even lives, can be bought, sold or rented out for the right price. When she finds a familiar face in that dark, disturbing world she knows she has to do something.

A/Ns & Warnings: THIS IS VERY DARK FIC. Warnings include graphic violence and rape (off screen), memories of graphic violence and rape, talk of suicide. There are spoilers for the series finale.

She was in over her head, and she knew it. Phillip Dedeaux was far more than the art thief and fence she'd been investigating after the disappearance of several priceless pieces in London. It had been spur of the moment, introducing herself a split second before she would have gotten caught attempting to pick the lock on his office door.

She'd introduced herself as Sarah Ellington, a collector of beautiful things and she insinuated that she wasn't worried about silly things like provenance and legalities. In days she had accompanied him to an underground auction, but before she could alert authorities, he slipped his arm around her and whispered in her ear about Monaco and things of phenomenal beauty she could never see anywhere.

It was when they had gotten on the plane that she started to understand how bad it could get. The servants were far more submissive than any she'd ever seen. Shortly after takeoff, Phillip had called one of them over, stripping away her uniform top to run gloved fingers over her marked up skin. She did her best not to react, to in fact look as though she were inspecting the woman at the same time.

Phillip had released her back to her duties before settling in for the remainder of the flight. They talked of art and collecting pretty things until they landed in Nice where a car was waiting for them. The drive to Monaco was beautiful and she could almost forget she was with a dangerous man with no back up, just a hidden phone in her luggage.

Their first two days were filled with gambling and dining, and spending the evenings at glittering parties. "I'm beginning to think you are just trying to get me to sleep with you, Phillip," she said as they sipped champagne on a balcony overlooking the water. "You promised me a place where I could get anything my heart desired." She pouted at him. "Show me something or I will have to leave you here. I do have business elsewhere."

He smiled at her, though his eyes were sweeping around them. "And what is it your wicked heart desires, my dear?"

"Something beautiful, exquisite. One of a kind."

The corners of his mouth turned up and he took her champagne setting it on the railing before slipping his arm around her and pulling her close, gesturing at the people around them. "What if I told you to pick any one of them, and I would deliver them to you?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Anyone?"

He leaned into her ear, "Any one, naked, broken, begging…or, perhaps just naked. You strike me as one who likes to do her own breaking."

Sara smiled, her eyes wide. "You can do that?"

"And what would you do with such a thing?"

"Anything I want."

He laughed and escorted her through the casino into a poker room, with an elevator at the back of the room guarded by two large men in suits that nodded to Phillip. He held up a gold card and they opened the door for him.

The elevator took well over a minute to reach their destination, somewhere under the casino. Two more guards stood beside the door there. Phillip held up the key card, swiping it through the reader to open the doors. Once inside, they paused. Her immediate understanding was that the front of the house was a whorehouse, men and women in varying stages of undress lounging and flirting with men and women in finery.

They didn't even pause there, Phillip drew her on, past the arched entrances to all the pleasure you could rent for an hour or two, to another guarded door and into a larger room lined with curtained stalls. It looked like any of the street markets one might find around Europe, except that these stalls weren't selling local foods and souvenirs. Just from her place near the center, she could see guns and art, jewelry and drugs.

"Phillip, this place is positively wicked," she purred.

"We're only in the front door, darling. Wait until you've seen the place." He waved a hand at the market. "Individual sellers come and go, of course. When a seller has merchandise they rent a space. We afford them privacy and security to make their trades. In return, we get a cut of the sale."

"Brilliant." She smiled brightly at him, her eyes skipping back to a young man with a half familiar face leaving with a painting.

"But this? This is nothing. Come, darling. I want to show you just how special this place really is."

Sara's stomach tightened, suspecting what came next. They passed through another set of doors into a dimly lit corridor that sloped slightly downward and opened into a hall lined with archways. Each archway hid a room of sorts, she could glimpse chains and beds, benches, odd looking furniture.

"We cater to many tastes here. We buy and sell and trade, and for a few lucky guests, we offer services to appease their darker appetites in the privacy and security of an ancient dungeon." Phillip said, walking them toward a small raised stage. "These rooms serve that purpose. And on this stage, we auction only the finest of wares, exquisite in their beauty, impeccable in their training." They skirted the stage and entered a dark hallway that shortly lead to a heavy metal door. Phillip produced another key card and swiped it through the reader, stepping back as the door opened. "It weighs a ton, the only way to open or close it is with a card to turn on the mechanism that moves the door."

He guided her inside, and a row of lights came on overhead, giving her a first look at how incredibly deep she was in. Cages lined the floor, most barely big enough to hold a person. Most of them were full, men and women, naked, bleeding, caged.

"I had been waiting for tomorrow night when the auction will be held. These are rentals. Anyone can do anything they want to them, for a price. Tomorrow the fresher lot will be in; pretty, trained, ready to serve. Some will get sold, some will end up here."

"How do you find them all?" Sara asked, hoping her horror didn't show in her voice.

He smiled, leading her down the hall. "Some are people who owed a debt, some are people caught stealing…Or there's those like this one." He stopped them in front of a cage.

The man inside was curled up tight, his naked body marked and dirty, his head on his knees. Phillip reached in and grabbed a fistful of hair, lifting his head. There were marks across his face, red welts that slashed down from his hairline, over his right eye and onto his cheek. The eye was swollen shut and the other eye rolled, trying to find something to focus on. Phillip dropped his head, and the man moaned, a low, familiar sound that went straight to her belly. Her breath quickened and she took and involuntary step forward, swallowing around a rising ball of fear and disgust as she squatted in front of the cage, one hand slipping through the bars to comb through his hair and tilt his face toward her.

She blinked and told herself not to react, not with Phillip watching her so closely. She managed a small smile. "And how did he come to be here?"

"A client saw him in the casino upstairs and simply had to have him. We arranged it. Once he'd had his fun, this one was too marked up and broken to try to sell, so he was left here for us to do with as we pleased."

"May I…get a closer look?" Sara asked, already inching closer, hopping her horror didn't break through the cracks in her cover.

"Of course, my darling." He dug the keycard out of his pocket and pressed it to the cage door. It opened and Sara moved a little closer, her fingers moving through sweaty hair, tilting his head back again. His lip was split and now that she was closer she could see that the marks covered more of his skin than she'd imagined. His hands were hidden in leather mitts that were padlocked in place. If he knew who she was, it didn't show on his face. "My, Phillip, he's extraordinary." She reached behind him, fingers trailing over his bleeding back. She turned back to Phillip, eyebrow raised. "How long has he been your guest?"

"Three months or so."

She bit her lip and considered her options. She didn't know if this man would even deal. She had to try though. "I want him." She stood and turned to face Phillip.

"I will find you someone fresher. This one is nearly spent."

"He reminds me of the boy I lost a few years back. The way he cried…" She licked her lips and put as much lust into her voice as she could, considering. "Just look at all of that delicious pain." She pressed up against Phillip, rubbing hands up his legs to cup his cock and leaning in to kiss him. "I can pay for him, if that's what it takes."

"He isn't trained, my dear. He was taken, beaten into submission and raped repeatedly. He is broken at best." Phillip argued.

"The hard work is done then." Sara purred. "Have you ever taken one this close to gone, nursed him back to health, given him hope…only to break him again? The most delicious pain, delicate bones breaking under your foot, the sounds they make…Come, you are only going to throw him away when he is spent. Sell him to me instead. I will enjoy cleaning him up and letting him heal so that I can hurt him all over again."

His eyebrow cocked up as he looked at her. "I may have underestimated you, Sara. You are a truly wicked woman."

"Oh, Phillip, my love, you have no idea."

She managed to hold herself together through a negotiation only by not letting herself acknowledge what she had just seen. Once they had agreed on a trade, she excused herself and went back to their suite, arguing with herself the whole way. It wasn't Neal. It wasn't. It couldn't be. Neal Caffrey was dead. Peter had told her so.

And yet, there was no denying that the man she had seen in that room, days from death, was Neal Caffrey. She paced the length of the suite, kicking her shoes off on the second pass, before crossing into the bedroom and going to the drawers of the dresser, under clothes to the sock that hid her emergency phone, a burner she had picked up with cash on her way to the airport.

She had to be careful. She knew Phillip had people watching her every move. She paced the room some more, the phone in her hand before she flipped it open. She had to assume they were listening here, and she would be followed if she left.

Unless she took a page out of Neal's book.

Nodding to herself, she changed out of the dress she'd worn and into a pair of pants and shirt, pulling on a pair of shoes she could move in. She shoved the burner phone into her pocket and grabbed her keys before grabbing a larger purse. She shoved a jacket and a floppy beach hat into the bag.

She took the elevator down to the ground floor and headed for the ladies room. In the privacy of the stall she donned the jacket and hat, making sure her hair was tucked up underneath. She wandered the casino floor for a few minutes before making for a side exit. Once outside, Sara moved away from the hotel. She didn't have a p3articular destination in mind, she just wanted to be sure she wasn't followed and find a place where she could call for help.

In and out of three cafes and two casinos, she felt fairly sure she was alone. She ducked behind a restaurant and pulled the phone out of her pocket. Now that she'd gotten this far, the danger of her situation was settling in. Her hands shook as she dialed the phone and lifted it to her ear.

When Peter answered, she wasn't sure she could get the words out. Finally, just before she was sure he was going to hang up she managed. "Peter, it's Sara."

"Sara? I haven't heard your voice since…"

"Since you lied to me." Sara finished for him. "You told me Neal was dead." She was shaking all over now. "He isn't dead, Peter."

"Sara, what is it?"

She trembled, tears burning at the corners of her eyes, the image of Neal in that cage wouldn't go away. "God, Peter. I'm in trouble here. I don't have time to explain, but Neal's going to be dead soon if we don't…" She drew in a shaky breath and pulled herself together. "I need your help."

"Where are you?"

"Monaco. Monte Carlo. Can you get here?"

There was a long hesitation before she heard him giving someone instructions, then he cleared his throat. "I can be there tomorrow night."

"Good. Bring a good suit and meet me. I'm staying at the Château Dejardin under the name Sara Ellington."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Peter, get everything you can on Phillip Dedeaux , and whatever you find, understand it doesn't scratch the surface." She hung up and breathed in deeply, letting it out slowly. Now she just had to arrange to have the painting delivered. There was only one way they were getting Neal out of that cage, and that was to actually complete the sale. They could figure out how to bring Phillip down once they'd gotten Neal out.

She dialed again, this time her assistant in London. "Calm down, I don't have time for hysterics. I'm fine. Just listen. I need you to go to my apartment. There's a painting crated in my office. I need you to courier it to me in Monaco. I have to have it no later than the day after tomorrow."

Once that was done, Sara dropped the hat and the jacket in the nearest trash can and began the walk back to her hotel, knowing that Phillip was either looking for her, or already set up in a game of cards. And somewhere beneath them, Neal was alone in a cage, waiting to die.

It was late in the day when Peter arrived, catching her eye as he was shown out to the patio where she and Phillip were sharing drinks. "Peter, darling, you made it." She stood and swept him into a hug, whispering in his ear, "You're my business partner from New York." His hands tightened on her waist then released as Sara turned to introduce him. "Phillip, this is Peter, my business partner. He handles the New York end of my acquisitions."

Phillip stood, extending his hand. Peter smiled and shook it. "Peter Dupont."

Phillip nodded. "Phillip Dedeaux. I wasn't aware you were coming."

"I wasn't either, until Sara called me to say she was going to need my assistance getting a new acquisition transported home." Peter gestured at the table. "Ah, but I can see I'm interrupting. Why don't I go settle into my room. Sara and I can talk later."

"No, please. Business is business and it always comes first. Please, have a seat. I have some business of my own to attend to." He leaned in and kissed Sara's cheek before he left the patio.

"Not here." Sara said, before Peter could say anything. She had spent the day pretending to be carefree and happy and what she wanted right now was to get as far away from the glitz and glamor of Phillip's world as she could.

She led Peter away from the hotel, down to the waterfront. "He's probably running your name right now."

Peter nodded. "It's backstopped. He'll find a mostly clean business man in import/export with a few shady connections and some suspected, but never proven, illegal activities. Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

She exhaled, trying to keep herself from falling apart, but it wasn't working. Peter's hand was warm on her back and she curled into him, Neal's broken, empty face filling her mind. He put his arms around her and let her work through it. After a few minutes she pulled back, wiping at her eyes. "Phillip…he doesn't just run art and drugs. He's got a dungeon full of…." She closed her eyes and pushed the image away, forced herself to stay on task. "He's got Neal."

"Sara--"

"No!" She pulled away from him. "You told me he was dead, Peter. You said…I believed…." She shook her head and swallowed around the pain.

"When I told you, I thought he was." Peter said softly. "I only guessed at it a few months ago. I wasn't even sure."

"Well, I am. That man was Neal Caffrey."

"Who? You still haven't told me what this is about."

"Phillip has a sort of black market thing going on under the casino. Everything you can think of and then some. He buys and sells…anything. He keeps…people in cages and rents them out for…for sport."

"Are you saying that Neal…"

She nodded. "He's in bad shape, Peter. He's…I can't even begin to tell you what's been done to him."

"Okay, so how do we get him out?"

She shrugged, the hysteria pushed away again for the moment. "Actually, that part won't be too hard. I have payment on its way here."

"You're going to buy him?" Peter asked, shock in his voice.

"Can you think of a safer way? That place is a fortress. Literally. And Neal doesn't have time for us to set up some kind of sting." She paced away and back again. "I'm trading a painting I bought a few weeks ago." She pulled her hands through her hair. "But we can't get caught up in trying to get Phillip, or we won't get Neal out."

Peter nodded. "Neal first. Once he's safe, we can get Interpol involved."

"Yes. I've recorded what I could, but he's cautious, doesn't say things out loud, and he must be using something to jam up electronics in the dungeon, none of that recorded."

Peter nodded. "We'll get him, Sara."

"One thing at a time." She tried to calm herself, settle back into the role she had to play, but she kept seeing Neal in her mind, imagining him being beaten for the pleasure of it, and worse. "I should get back. We're going to need transportation." She shook her head. It was time to call in some favors. "Call Devin Rafferty, tell him you're calling on my behalf and I'm calling in the favor he owes me. Tell him I need his private jet on the ground in Nice tomorrow, and a pilot who isn't going to ask questions."

"Where are we going to take him?" Peter asked, frowning.

"I don't know. " Sara admitted. "just away from here."

"Okay, leave that to me. I'll take care of the arrangements, you just tell me when and where."

She hugged him impulsively. "Thank you." She needed to get back to Phillip, despite the way her skin crawled with just the thought of it. She only had to play the part until they got Neal out. Less than 24 hours from now.

Peter waited by the van he had procured to get them from the exchange to the airport, his eyes scanning around him. Sara appeared first, her face hard. "They're right behind me."

Two men appeared, one of them pushing a wheelchair. In that wheelchair…Peter had to look away to keep his composure. Sara said he was in bad shape, but this was worse than he had anticipated. Behind the men came Phillip, smiling brightly.

Peter turned away, reaching to help them move Neal out of the chair. He whimpered in pain, collapsing against Peter as they lifted him into the van. He was so frail, so light and Peter had to bite his lip to keep from doing something they would all regret.

"Does this mean you're leaving me?" he heard Phillip ask.

"I do have business that requires my attention in New York." Sara said. "Perhaps we shall find each other again."

"Soon, I hope. " Peter turned in time to see him kiss Sara's hand.

"I'll call you when I'm on my way back to Europe." Sara said.

Peter settled Neal onto the blanket he'd put on the floor of the van beside Sara's luggage and shut the doors. He didn't bother speaking to the bastard, afraid he'd lose his ability to keep his anger in check. Instead, he went to the front and started the engine.

Sara got in a few moments later, nodding to him to go. Her face was white and she glanced back at Neal before she looked up at Peter. He drove them out of the city and headed them toward the airport. "What did they do to him?" Peter asked fiercely as they approached the gates to the private side of the strip.

Sara looked back again, shaking her head. "I…can't." She drew in a deep breath as they stopped at security.

Peter opened the window. "Peter Burke." He handed the man his passport. "Mr. Rafferty is expecting us." The guard turned away, checking the passport against his computer before he nodded and returned the passport, pointing .

"Hangar 7, Mr. Burke. Take a left there, and follow it down."

"Thank you."

They were quiet then, up to the point where they pulled into the open hangar. Sara was the first out of the van, going in search of the pilot while Peter got out and unloaded her luggage first, then moved to kneel beside the broken body of his friend. He could hear Sara, but it was distant, beyond the buzzing in his ears as he really looked at Neal. He was thin, thinner than Peter ever remembered seeing him. He was dressed in a pair of sweatpants that wouldn't stay on him if he stood and a t-shirt that was sticking to his body, blood soaking through the material. His hands were covered in leather mitts that would keep him from using his fingers for much of anything, the straps securing them to his wrists pulled tight over a D ring that probably had been locked down.

Peter reached out to touch him, but he pulled back, unsure that he wasn't going to hurt him more. "Neal, I don't know if you can hear me, but it's Peter. You're safe. We're taking you home."

"Peter, we're ready."

Peter nodded, licking his lips as he tried to decide the best way to get Neal up and out of the van. In the end, there was nothing to do but pick him up and Peter slid the blanket closer to the door, stepping out, then leaning in to get an arm under Neal's knees and the other under his head.

Neal made a sound that felt like terror and pain mixed and shot out of an air gun. "Hang on, Neal." Peter got him lifted, shocked at how light he was and turned toward where Sara stood by the plane stairs. Sara said nothing as Peter passed her and started up the stairs.

He moved past the seats to the couch toward the back of the plane, lowering Neal as easily as he could to the soft cushions. Sara appeared a moment later, shaking out a blanket. Peter help her cover Neal, pulling the blanket up around his shoulders. He was surprised to find Neal's one eye open, the blue startling against the red of blood. "Neal?"

That eye swiveled, panic filling it as it came back to Peter.

"No." His voice was almost nonexistent, and his eye closed, his breathing tight and shallow as the plane started to move.

"It's okay, Neal. You're safe."

His hand moved out from the blanket, reaching for Peter, but it stopped when he saw the leather covering his hand, his one open eye widening. His other hand joined the first and he pushed them together. "Off. Off."

"Okay, hold on." Peter caught his hands and worked on the first strap, getting the mitt off and tossing it somewhere behind him. As he worked at releasing the other, Neal pulled the first hand in to his face, feeling over his skin and weakly opening and closing his fist.

"We've been cleared for takeoff," the pilot called back through the open door of the cockpit.

Peter got the last mitt off and Neal was already out again. He got into a seat and buckled in, not taking his eyes off of Neal. "He's in bad shape."

Sara didn't respond. Peter glanced at her, but she was staring at Neal too. "Hey, we've got him."

She was trembling. "Peter--" She closed her eyes.

Peter reached across the aisle and touched her arm. "I know. But we've got him, and we're going to get him home and…" And what? He wasn't sure.

He knew one thing. He'd never seen that kind of fear in Neal's eyes before.

Sara was asleep, or pretending to be. Peter hadn't shut his eyes. He had already had the pilot call ahead to make sure that they would have a medical team waiting for them. Now he was sitting on the floor beside Neal with the first aid kit from the plane's bathroom, but he was at a loss for where to even begin.

He'd cut the t-shirt off, and then wished he hadn't. Neal's skin was dirty, but it was also burnt, cut, welted and there were bruises, deep, dark bruises. For the moment he settled for cleaning around injuries, using gentle touches and gauze soaked in antiseptic. He worked slowly, over the skin of Neal's chest, wincing any time he came close to open wounds.

"Peter?" It was almost not even a word, but it pulled his attention up from a nasty burn to Neal's face. That eye was open again, locked on him.

Peter tried to smile. "Neal."

Neal's hand touched his face and he blinked slowly. "Real?"

Peter nodded, taking his hand. "Yes, Neal. It's real."

Neal's hand fisted in Peter's shirt and he buried his face against Peter's stomach, his whole body shaking. It took a moment for Peter to recognize it for sobbing, and by the time he did, Neal was already starting to quiet, his body relaxing as he once more fell into unconsciousness.

The plane was descending and Peter wiped at his eyes as he got up, returning to his seat beside Sara who was awake now, her eyes on Neal's still form.

"We'll be on the ground in 15 minutes," the pilot called back. "As requested there is an ambulance on site, and Mr. Rafferty's personal physician is with them.

"Thank you." Sara replied, though her eyes never left Neal. Peter reached across to touch her hand. She blinked and looked at him, fear haunting her eyes. "He's so…" She shook her head. "I don't want to see how bad it is, but I can't look away."

He squeezed her hand. "We'll be on the ground in a few minutes, and he'll be safe." He was aware, on some level, that there was no guarantee Neal would even survive, but he couldn't think about that, not if he was going to hold it together. "He'll be fine, Sara. He's Neal."

Her eyes widened. "No, he's not. Peter, Neal is dead. He has to stay dead."

He nodded, scrambling through all the aliases he could remember and realizing if he knew them, they would track back to Neal. "We need to give him a name, and get it backstopped pretty fast."

They were quiet then as the plane landed. Sara was the first one off, and in moments, the doctor was kneeling beside Neal, checking his pulse and lungs before looking up grimly at Peter. "My men will get him to the ambulance. Ms. Ellis has my information, you can meet me at the hospital. Once I have him stable, we will talk."

Peter nodded, pulling his phone out of his pocket, dialing his office while the EMTs came to get Neal. "Jones, it's Peter. I don't have time to explain, just get me an identity package for a Henry Longabaugh and overnight it to Sara Ellis in London. "

"And who is Henry Longabaugh?"

"A witness. Give him an academic background in art, nothing big. Keep it simple. This is huge and I need to protect him before I get Interpol involved."

"Interpol? Peter, what have you gotten into?"

"Let me worry about it Jones." He hesitated, making a decision that might come back to bite him. "Use a picture of Caffrey. This guy's about the same size, and his face is badly damaged. It should pass."

"Caffrey?"

"Just get me the ID. I'll fill you in later."

"You got it. It will be there as soon as I can get it there."

Peter followed the EMT's out of the plane, watching as they settled him gently to a gurney and got him loaded into the ambulance. Sara was coming his way, a well dressed man in a suit at her side. "Peter Burke, this is Devin Rafferty. Devin, Special Agent Peter Burke, with the FBI."

He raised an eyebrow , but stuck out his hand. "Agent Burke, you're a long way from home."

"I am. Thank you for your assistance, Mr. Rafferty."

"Judging from the little I saw, your friend is in very bad shape."

Peter nodded, watching Sara shiver. "He is, and to be honest, I wasn't sure he was going to make it."

"He is in the best hands now. Dr. Marcus Bell is a man who has seen the worst humanity can do to one another. "

"Even he hasn't seen this." Sara said, inhaling and pulling herself up. "We should get to the hospital. They're going to want his information."

"Come, let me drive." Devin said. "Neither of you looks up to the task."

Peter followed, the weight of the last 48 hours without sleep pulling on him. If he wasn't so worried about Neal, he could fall asleep in the car.

It was nearly four hours before Dr. Bell emerged to give him the highlights of Neal's condition, worse than Peter ever imagined and almost couldn't bear to hear.

"That young man is lucky to be alive. He has multiple broken bones, several third degree burns…he was beaten pretty severely on multiple occasions, with a number of different weapons. Several of his wounds are deeply infected, and the infection has begun to spread." Dr. Bell drew him closer and lowered his voice. "He was also sexually assaulted. I can't tell exactly, but most certainly by more than one assailant, and repeatedly over at least the last two months."

Peter's stomach churned and he inhaled deeply to try to keep it from exploding. "Is he…will he be okay?"

Dr. Bell licked his lips and crossed his arms. "We are debriding his open wounds, and he's going to need surgery, and if he survives all of that, and we can get him rehydrated and keep him from going septic, then he stands a chance. I should get back to him. I thought you would want to know."

"Thank you." Peter watched him go, then went back to the waiting room, pacing as the words played over and over in his head.

He looked at his phone, wondering if he should call Sara, or let her get some rest. She'd gone home to freshen up, promising to return once the package had been delivered. Instead, he did the math and called Elizabeth, knowing it would be early, but that she'd be up with the baby.

"Hey, hon."

"Peter, are you okay?"

"I am. Yes. I just needed to hear your voice."

"You sound tired. Where are you?"

"London. Listen, hon. I'm not sure how long I'm going to be here."

"Is it a case? You didn't say much before you left."

He hesitated, he hadn't ever told El, even after he'd figured it out.

"Peter?"

"El, it's Neal."

There was a catch in her throat and a pause. "Is he okay?"

"You knew?"

"I guessed. Is he okay?"

"No, El. He really isn't. He's in surgery now…but we aren't even sure…" His throat closed up and he closed his eyes against the burn. "So, just don't tell anyone and I'll call you when I know more."

"Take as long as you need. And give him my love."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too."

He paced the waiting room a few times, then sat, then paced some more. When he finally sat again, with some of the adrenaline fading, he dozed. It was restless and fitful and when Sara woke him, he was sore from the awkward position.

She offered him coffee and a manila envelope before taking the seat beside him. "Any news?"

"Not for a while." Peter responded. "They were taking him to surgery."

She nodded, staring at the floor. "You should go get some rest. I'll stay."

He shook his head and sipped at the coffee. "No, I'm not leaving."

They were both still sitting there then when the doctor approached. He held up both hands as Peter and Sara both jumped up. "He is stable, for the moment. We're getting him settled into a room and once he's there you can see him. "

"How is he?"

"As I said, Agent Burke, he's a fortunate young man. Had he gone another day without medical treatment he might not have survived. He's going to have a long road to recovery, and how much he recovers will depend a lot on these next few days." He put his hands in his pockets and the frown on his forehead deepened. "There is significant trauma on both sides of his head. It is entirely possible that he will develop some level of amnesia, and with whatever he went through, that just might be a blessing."

A nurse approached with a clipboard and he took it before looking back at them. "I'll have someone come get you when he's settled into his room."

Nameless, faceless terror chased him through hazy corridors and up into a level of awareness that made him freeze, listening for signs of danger. Everything was different, starting with his body. The pain was there, but it was muted and he sluggishly deduced that meant someone was giving him drugs.

He was also laying down, which meant he wasn't in the cage, and instead of the stench of human waste and dried on bodily fluids, he smelled antiseptic. A slow beep behind him gave away a machine of some kind. He opened the only eye that seemed to respond slowly, confirming his suspicion that he was in a hospital. Slowly, he turned his head, his breath catching in his throat as he saw Peter asleep in the chair beside him.

Peter.

He closed his eye and tried to remember past the last time he'd been hauled from the cage. But all he could remember was the beating, the whip, the fury in the man's face as he forced Neal to take his cock. He pulled on his hands, only to find them in restraints, which only brought back other memories, his hands locked behind leather, helpless and useless. Hhe pulled all the harder , yelling though his voice didn't make much sound.

Suddenly there were hands on his and a soothing voice telling him to calm down. One buckle, then the other came loose and Neal dragged his hands to his face, feeling over the bruises and swelling, gasping as the tender tips of his fingers found the long welts from when the whip had curled up under his shoulder to cut across his face.

"Neal?"

Slowly he realized that Peter was talking and forced his hands down, turning so his one good eye could see. Peter met his gaze and something inside him calmed a little.

"You're safe. You're in a hospital in London."

Neal frowned. London didn't seem right. "How?" Neal asked.

"Don't try to talk. Your throat is in rough shape. It's a long story."

"You found me?" It didn't make sense. Peter wouldn't have been looking for him. He was dead, and either Peter believed that, or had let him go because it had been nearly a year and Neal had left enough clues behind for Peter to follow if he didn't believe.

"Not exactly." Peter conceded, pulling chair closer and sitting. "But I helped get you out."

Neal could feel the heat rising in his face, knowing that it meant that Peter knew exactly what had happened to him. "Who?"

Peter licked his lips. "Sara called me."

Sara. Neal closed his eyes and turned away. It had been a dream. A delusion. He was sure of it. Sara's hand on his head, soft, telling him without words that he would be free. He had assumed it meant he was dying.

"Neal, are you listening?"

He blinked back to Peter, still trying to rationalize any of it. "No." He wasn't sure what he was protesting, but no other word would come but "No," in an endless litany as he pulled away and tried to curl up, but his body wouldn't move and pain seared through him from countless wounds . He could hear Peter yelling, but couldn't find his way back out again, even as hands found him and held him down and something cold sank into him, blanketing everything in a layer of darkness that permeated into him.

A Slow Dance, Stargate Atlantis, PG

2015-01-24T21:09:24Z

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Title: A Slow Dance
Characters/Relationships: John Sheppard/Sam Carter, Ronon Dex, Rodney McKay, Jennifer Keller
Word Count: 4312
Rating: PG
Summary: It begins with just a smile, and they both know the steps, though they try to deny it. One step forward, two steps back, each turn bringing them closer, each movement a delicate balance until they finally come together.

A/Ns and Warnings: For badfalcon. This is soppy, falling in love stuff. But not to worry, Brain has plans for future maiming and breaking.

The sun was almost fully down outside her window as she sank into her chair with a weary sigh and contemplated the various tasks still accumulating in her inbox and on her desk. She pulled the elastic band out of her hair and ruffled her fingers through to loosen the braid that had held it.

It had been a week since she had officially taken command of Atlantis, and while there hadn't been any major events, it had been a week of adjusting, for her and for those under her. She wasn't used to this kind of position. She had always been in the field, or in the lab and while she had no doubts about her command abilities, she was starting to doubt her skill in the administrative tasks this job demanded of her.

Add to that, she was lightyears away from the familiar, which under normal circumstances wouldn't upset her, but combined with the stress, she found herself wishing for Daniel or Cameron or even Dr. Lee to knock on her door and drag her out of her head.

She smiled to herself as she said it, and turned her attention to the latest email from Rodney. She was startled then when there was a knock on the door and she looked up.

"Colonel." John Sheppard smiled at her, leaning casually on the door frame.

"John, come in." She set the tablet aside and gestured to the seat opposite her.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No, just…trying to keep on top of things."

He nodded, sinking into the chair. "First week. How's it feel?"

She smiled and nodded. "Good. Different…but I'm adjusting."

"Anything I can do to help?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine, thank you."

"Well, Colonel Mitchell told me that you love to make fun of sci fi and I just got a mess of new movies in when the Daedalus was here. How about we grab some food in the mess hall and you can tell me all about what they got wrong in the last Star Trek movie."

It sounded relaxing, but she still had a lot to do. "Maybe another time?"

He nodded and stood. "Standing offer. Anytime."

"I'll keep that in mind." She watched him go, then turned back to her email. Almost a half hour later there was another knock of her door and she found a young woman with a tray.

"Colonel Sheppard sent me, ma'am. He said you needed some dinner."

"Thank you..."

"Major Lason, ma'am."

"Thank you, Major." The woman put a tray on her desk with a sandwich and some milk, a bag of cookies and an apple, and tucked inside the napkin was a note. She lifted it as the Major left her office. "Nothing Rodney said in that five page email is so important you shouldn't eat. --John."

"Are you coming, John?" Teyla asked, drawing his attention back from the movement that had caught his eye.

"Um, no. You go ahead." He handed off his weapons to Ronon to return to the armory. "I'll catch up."

He watched for a second through the small panel of clear glass between all the colored ones, then took the stairs two at a time, nodding to the control room crew before leaning into Colonel Carter's office. She smiled and waved him in. "You're team is back early."

He nodded, eyes narrowing as he got a good look at her. She was tired, her eyes red like she'd been rubbing at them. "Pretty easy mission. They're good people. Arranged a trade, came home."

She relaxed a little. "Good. Anything else I should know?"

"Actually…I was hoping I could steal an hour or two of your time."

Her brow furrowed a little and she leaned forward, arms on the desk. "What for?"

He hadn't actually thought that far ahead, so he scrambled a little. "There's something I want you to see. It's on Rodney's list of things to look at, but that list of his is so long, and it's bugging me."

"Okay, what is it?"

John scrambled through memories of various rooms and gadgets until he seized on something. "There's a room out on the east pier, I think it was sort of a design lab, Rodney thinks it's nothing."

"What makes you think it's a design lab?" Sam asked, her interest obviously piqued.

"Well, there's a 3D model of a ship, something like a cross between an Aurora class and something smaller. And there's one of those tables that lets you virtually build stuff."

"Are you thinking that there may be unfinished designs that we could use to incorporate some of their technology?"

John shrugged. "Yeah, could be." He hadn't actually thought that, but if it got her to come with him, he'd let her think so. "So what do you say? Got a few hours?"

She looked for a long minute like she was going to say no, but then she smiled. "Yeah, why not."

John grinned. "Great. Let me just do my post mission check in with Keller. I'll meet you by the transporter in about an hour?"

An hour later, John escorted Sam into the transporter and took her out to the east pier, showing her into the room, which came to life as they stepped inside. The model dominated one side of the room, detailed and lit so that they could even see inside of it. "Wow." Sam breathed as she leaned in, her eyes sweeping over the clean lines. "This is beautiful."

John stepped over to the console, bringing up the display over the table. "See, I found…" But Sam was already there, leaning around him, her fingers reaching to take over the controls. John stepped back, smirking. He watched then as she worked, losing herself in sorting through the technology.

It was nearly a half hour before she came up for air, looking around the room almost like she was surprised. "This is amazing."

John nodded. "I thought you might like it. Rodney didn't seem to think it was important."

"Rodney isn't a pilot." She gestured at him. "Or interested in building better ships. At least, it isn't his first focus." She looked around the room, then back at him. "But you didn't just bring me down here to circumvent Rodney."

John shrugged and grinned. "You looked like you needed to get out of that office. I thought I'd show you something that would make you happy…and from that smile on your face when we walked in, I think it worked."

It had been a hellacious week, capped off by the fall that broke her leg and left her hobbling around Atlantis on a pair of crutches. The sun had gone down hours before and all the activity left outside her office was the night shift coming on in the control room.

She pushed herself up and grabbed the crutches to head to her quarters before realizing she hadn't eaten since breakfast, so she turned for the mess hall. She expected to find it empty, but was surprised to find John and Ronon still there.

They both stood as she got to the table they were sitting at, Ronon moving over to offer her his chair. "I don't mean to interrupt," she said. "I just realized I hadn't eaten in a while."

John nodded to Ronon before encouraging her to sit. "Ronon will bring you something. You sit."

Ronon returned with a tray and set it in front of her. "I'm going to get a run in before bed."

"Night."

"Good night, Ronon. Thank you." Sam said, lifting her sandwich.

"How's the leg?" John asked as she chewed.

"Sore," she responded. "But it isn't bad. How's your head?"

He instinctively lifted a hand to rub at the knot she knew he was sporting after a sparring accident with Teyla. "Let's just say it's a good thing I have a hard head." He laughed and sipped from his water.

"You don't have to keep me company, John." Sam said after a few minutes of quiet.

"Maybe I like keeping you company." John responded. "Besides, you have better table manners than Ronon."

She smiled before lifting the sandwich again.

"You should do that more often." John said.

"What, eat?" Sam asked around her bite.

He laughed and shook his head. "No, smile. You have an amazing smile."

Sam could feel the blush rising in her cheeks, but wasn't sure what to say. She swallowed and opened her water bottle, swallowing several times before looking up. "I…"

He held up both hands. "I'm not hitting on you. I'm just saying, you look very nice when you smile."

The tips of his ears were turning pink and somehow she found that adorable. "So you're not flirting with your superior officer?" she asked, watching the pink work its way down onto his cheeks.

"That would be wrong." John said. "I'm just complimenting a friend."

Sam nodded, still grinning. "Right."

"How about we change the subject?" John asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Okay." Sam wiped her face. "How about a serious question? Star Wars or Star Trek?"

John lifted an eyebrow. "That's a bit personal, isn't it?" He crossed his arms and appeared to think about it. "Depends on how you're judging them. Star Wars sucks on the science side of things, but the storytelling is phenomenal. Trek is better at the science."

"Which Trek?" Sam asked, curiosity rising. She'd read John's file, she knew he was intelligent, but like her own former commanding officer, he liked to hide it behind a façade of indifference and sarcasm.

"Original Trek is classic, and I've been watching it since I was a kid, but Next Gen was slicker."

"Good answers." Sam conceded. "Okay, favorite science fiction movie?"

John frowned a little. "Favorite? Yes isn't an answer?"

"Come on, everyone has a favorite," she goaded.

John started listing off favorites, and she stopped him from time to time to talk about one or another, laughing over bad effects and reversed polarity, traveling back in time to some of the first in the genre, until her cheeks hurt from smiling and she realized how much she had relaxed. She glanced at her watch, eyes growing wide as she realized it was well after midnight. "Wow."

John looked up and around them. "How late is it?"

"Almost one in the morning." Sam responded, struggling to her feet. "We should both get some sleep."

John stood as well, reaching one hand to her waist to steady her when she wobbled. He was so close she could feel his breath on her skin and for the briefest moment she imagined him holding her, kissing her even. She closed her eyes and pulled back from him. "John…"

"I know." He didn't let go though, just stepped back. "I've got you."

"I'm okay now." Sam said, her voice soft and breathy.

He cleared his throat and moved his hand with a tight nod. "Okay. Let me at least walk you to your door."

She knew she should tell him no and leave, but she found herself nodding and John fell into step beside her. It felt oddly comforting, knowing that someone was there, letting her do her job, but there to help if she needed him.

They didn't speak, all the way to her door, where she stopped, looking up at John. "This is me."

He smiled, and for a split second looked like he might try to kiss her and she almost wished he would. "Sleep well, Colonel," he said instead. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She watched him walk away before opening her door, shaking her head at herself. The last thing she needed right now was to be thinking things like that about one of the men in her command. "Never could fall for the right guy," she grumbled as she undressed for bed.

There was a part of him that knew that what he was thinking about could never happen. She was his superior officer, even if only by a small margin. But she was brilliant and beautiful and watching her put Ronon on his ass for the third time was hotter than he'd ever admit to her face.

She was sweaty and breathing hard as she offered her hand to help him up, the hair that had been tightly bound in her braid when it started all coming loose and sticking to her skin. She grinned and slapped Ronon's shoulder before crossing to pick up her towel to wipe her face.

"Really? You're going to let her walk away like that?" John asked as Ronon grabbed his water bottle, rolling his head side to side. "I don't know, buddy. I think you're getting soft if you let a woman put you down like that."

Ronon squirted him in the face with water in response and Sam grinned at him. "I let her have it." Ronon said, earning another slap, this time across his arm.

"Let nothing." Sam responded, mopping her face before stealing the water bottle. "Maybe the first time, but that last one, that was all me."

"How's the leg holding up?" John asked and he really was looking at the leg she had broken, not at her ass, even if the look on her face said she'd never believe it.

"My leg is fine." Sam said.

"You still want to run after that?"

Sam nodded and tossed the towel down. "Lets see this impossible route you keep telling me about."

"You in, Ronon?" John gave Ronon the look, the patented guy look to back off and Ronon chuckled.

"No, I know what's good for me."

John pointed out the door of the gym and out into the hall. "It’s a bit of a long route, you sure you don't want to try something shorter? You've already had a good workout."

"I can take it if you can." Sam said, grinning and pulling up one foot to stretch a little.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." John set them off at a jog, pointing directions as they came to intersections. By the second flight of stairs, he kicked it up, though he kept an eye on her just in case. He and Teyla had mapped the course out back before her pregnancy. "Cat walk. Go ahead of me, take the first right."

John followed her, telling himself that he wasn't watching her ass while she ran, even while he was watching her ass while she ran. No. He was making sure she was okay. He was only a few steps behind her when he felt the metal walkway shake. He saw her grab for the railing, her eyes widening and he dove forward, catching her hand just as the walkway gave way beneath her.

He grabbed the railing with his other hand, got his feet on the uprights and pulled, hoping their sweaty hands would hold long enough to get her up.

"Wait," she panted at him. "I'm stuck."

"Hurry. Can't hold…" He could feel his grip slipping, then he heard a rip and suddenly she was moving toward him again, landing on top of him. She was shaking, but seemed okay as she pushed herself up enough to look down at him.

She was red in the face, hair disheveled and still, she was gorgeous. She was also bleeding he suddenly realized, reaching for her. Her shirt was ripped open, exposing a fair amount of stomach and a gash that was a good six inches long. "You're hurt."

Sam lifted a hand to her head, drawing his eyes there, where there was even more blood. "Smacked my head on the metal."

John's hand brushed over the wound in her stomach and she winced. "Oh, that hurt."

"Okay, not that I'm not enjoying this position we find ourselves in, but maybe we should get you down to the infirmary." He slid back, out from under her and stood, offering his hand to help her up. "Nearest transporter is this way." They moved a lot slower than before, back down the stairs and out into a better lit corridor where he stopped them and moved to get a better look at her head. "That's gotta hurt," he murmured, his breath ruffling her hair.

Her hand covered the egg that was rising under the cut, her face scrunching up. "Yeah, that's not good."

He slid an arm around her waist and pulled her close before starting them toward the transporter.

A few minutes later he watched as Dr. Keller got her under the scanner. His heart was still racing, like he had been running the whole way back.

"She's going to be fine."

He blinked and looked up, surprised to find Keller beside him and Sam being moved so they could handle the cut on her stomach. "What?"

"She's going to be fine. Mild concussion and a couple of stitches. I'm going to keep her here overnight for observation, make sure the head injury isn't more serious than it looks."

"Good." He crossed to the bed, smiling a little when Sam rolled her eyes. "I guess I'm not the only one with a hard head around here."

"I'll be fine." Sam said, taking his hand. "Thanks to you."

"Just doing my job." John responded.

"Colonel Carter, Colonel Sheppard, please come to the control room."

"Speaking of which." She nodded at him. "Go on. You know where I'll be if you need me."

He wasn't even thinking when he leaned down and kissed her forehead, but he froze as he did it, half expecting to get punched for it, but when he finally pulled back, she was smiling. "Okay." John whispered. He was starting to flush and he knew it, so he made for the door, trying to put it out of his mind as he headed for the control room to find out what the next crisis would be.

Everything was quiet now, everything but her head, racing over the details, second guessing the decisions, wondering when someone was going to tell her that she wasn't good enough to do this job. But then, she wondered if anyone would ever suit the IOA. She closed the last of the paperwork and fit it into the folder that would return to earth when Daedalus left at the end of the week, and rubbed her head. It wasn't the first time she had lost someone under her command, but the secrecy required when that someone was killed by a Wraith bothered her more than she'd like to admit.

Sam sighed and rubbed at her eyes, suddenly tired. She turned off her computer and stood, saying good night to the people in the control room as she passed. She was nearly to her quarters when Rodney came running up to her, his tablet in hand, already rambling at her.

She held up a hand and when that didn't stop him, she covered his mouth. "Rodney, if it isn't something that's going to happen in the next ten hours, I don't want to hear about it."

"But I found-"

"Rodney." John approached from behind her. "It's been a long day. I'm sure whatever it is can wait for tomorrow."

"But--"

"Rodney. Is something going to explode?"

"Well, no."

"Are we about to be attacked?"

"No." Rodney actually was starting to sound petulant.

"Alright then. Whatever it is, right up a report, have it on Colonel Carter's desk in themorning."

John glared until Rodney slunk away. "Sorry about him, he gets excited."

"No, it's okay." Sam said, stifling her yawn. "He means well."

"You're exhausted." John's hand was warm on her shoulder.

"I was just heading to bed." Sam said, blinking up at his smile. He had a nice smile. His arm slipped around her shoulders and they started walking again. "What are you doing, John?"

"Walking you to your quarters. Protecting you from stray scientists."

She probably should tell him she was fine on her own, but it felt good, his arm around her like that, the heat of his body so close. A part of her wanted to curl into that heat and stay there. She cleared her throat as they stpped in front of her door. "John."

She turned, her back to the door.

"I know, " he responded. He was close, so close and if she wanted to it wouldn't take much to kiss him.

She wanted to. "We can't…I mean, there are…"

"Rules." John finished for her. "I've never been a real stickler for the rules."

She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. "I have." She opened her eyes and met his, smiling a little. "So, we can't."

He nodded almost imperceptibly and stepped back. "Right."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too." John responded. "Get some rest, Colonel. It's been a long day."

He hadn't taken no for an answer. It wasn't a date, it was two colleagues having dinner and discussing a tough week. In fact, he told himself, he had put the idea behind him. She was right. They couldn't. So they wouldn't. It was that simple.

And then she showed up to his quarters, looking like she did, with that smile and her tablet and John had to remind himself again. They couldn't. They shouldn't. And yet, while they talked about personnel rotation and reassignments, he found himself watching the way her hands moved on the tablet, or picked at her food, or tucked a stray hair back behind her ear.

"Did you hear anything I just said?" Sam asked, smiling at him.

John cleared his throat. "Yes, actually. I think Major Nells would be better on Lieutenant Billings team, better personality match. Nells and Trenton don't always agree on things, it's caused some friction." He took a drink from his beer. "Otherwise, I agree. It's good to shake things up a bit."

"I wish everyone agreed. Rodney was not happy with the new scientists that came in on the last rotation."

John snorted. "Rodney's never happy. He's Rodney." He pushed back from the table. "I got us some dessert." He went to the cart he'd used to bring the food down from the mess hall. "Don't get too excited." He lifted the bowl of red jello, leaning around her to put it in front of her, his free hand resting lightly on her shoulder. "Damn, you're so tense." He stopped and turned to her, his fingers playing along her upper back. He rubbed lightly and felt her exhale, relaxing into the touch, only to stiffen up a moment later.

"John."

"Just a little de-stressing." John responded softly, his fingers traveling along the knots in her muscles. He massaged for a minute, then stepped back, grabbing his own jello and returning to his seat. "You should really get someone who knows what they're doing to do that."

"You seemed to do alright." Sam said, though she looked away and he though he saw a bit of blush on her cheeks.

"I've had practice." He took a bite of his jello, thinking now, watching her face. "You know what you need? You need to relax."

"Relax?" Sam asked, looking at him with doubt on her face. "You know of a spa I could spend a day at?"

He shook his head and got up, abandoning his jello and turning to turn his cd player on. The music started playing, saxophone spilling out around him as he held out his hand. "I've got a better idea."

She hesitated, but her hand slipped into his and she came, letting him guide her into the open space on the floor. "Close your eyes," he murmured to her as he pulled her in close, sliding his hand around her back. "Breathe slowly." She rested her head against his chest as he started to slowly move them, swaying with the music, their feet barely moving in the small space. "That's it, just relax." His voice was barely more than a whisper as his hand moved from the small of her back, rubbing in slow circles over tense muscles.

She was light in his arms and warm against his body and when she lifted her head to look at him, there was a vulnerability in her eyes he hadn't expected, an opening he wasn't sure he should press into. Her breath was hot on his lips, an invitation he couldn't resist. It didn't take much movement to brush his lips across hers.

"We shouldn't…" she whispered, her eyes still searching his, as if she might find the right excuse in them.

"Relax," he whispered back, closing his eyes so he wouldn't see the denial as he let their lips come together a little more fully. She shivered in his arms, but didn't pull away. It was enough. He turned them, her head returning to his chest as he folded both arms around her, swaying gently.

The song was ending, but they continued to move, changing rhythm just a bit as the next song began. Sam lifted her head and John licked his lips, half expecting she would end it now, but to his surprise, she mimicked his movement, licking her lips before she closed the space between them, her tongue sliding into his mouth as their lips met, teasing along his and pulling back, inviting him to follow. She tasted like cherry jello and sunshine. The whole world was spinning around them and both of his hands lifted to cup her face as they kissed, holding them together inside the moment.

His heart was thundering as the kiss ended, torn between wanting more and wanting to just go on like this forever. Her body was looser in his arms, melting into him as they swayed. She leaned into him, letting him guide them, her eyes closed, and it was enough.

For the moment, it was enough.