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Eye of Eleos Chapter 81/?

pfeifferpack — Tue, 02 Aug 2022 05:52:38 GMT

source: imgur.com

Spike shouldn’t look so appealing wrapped in chains, straining in anger. Ghost Buffy shook her head, “I always did notice but would’ve died before admitting it.” Buffy had spent more than a bit of time thinking about how capable she had been to be so deep in denial about many things. ‘Buffy the obvious slayer,’ she snorted.

It was strange to realize that in that real world of only days before, she had not thought it wrong to treat Spike like an enemy. Even though they had a truce when it had mattered the most, preventing an apocalypse, and she had known to trust his word at the time. There he was, incapacitated and not trusted. Maybe it was the clear distrust of all those around her that made her set aside her instinctive realization that he was a bad liar and had a sense of honor. Still no matter the reason, they were all supposed to be the ‘good guys’, especially her, being the central enforcer of good as the Slayer, the Chosen One. They all had souls too and used that as a measure of goodness at the time. ‘Sheeya! Like a soul stops humans from all kinds of evil.’

Buffy was pleased to realize she had matured during this strange journey. No more binary thinking or closing her eyes to what was right in front of her. No more listening to others spout off their beliefs and theories and giving them more weight than her own knowledge or observations. Yup, once back in the real world there was going to be a new sheriff in town, one with the confidence she once had before she gave away her agency to others.

She frowned as she watched Giles reveling in manhandling Spike into the chains in the cramped tub. “He has a pretty dark streak of his own there!” Buffy had already noted the things that Giles had in common with William but it was obvious that he had an inner “Spike” of his own. “That must be some of that Ripper stuff he glossed over years ago.”

Maybe that was why he resented Spike so much, it was like a mirror in many ways. Of course Giles only saw the darker parts, Spike’s armor of snark and violence. He would be even more shaken had he known the Spike she now knew, not to mention the William that Giles would have likely been glad to count as a friend.

She watched as Xander bullied Spike verbally and physically. “Plenty of darkness there too. We all laugh it off with Xan though. Not really funny.” She thought about how there were times her good friend had been rather dismissive and borderline cruel even to his girlfriend Anya. ‘He keeps being attracted to demons or ex-demons then making sure they know how much he hates all things demon.’ Her friend was headed down a really dark path if he kept that up. She wasn’t sure how much she could do to change her friend, encourage his better angels, but as his friend she was going to try.

She had to admit she’d bullied Spike too after he’d come to them for help. Enjoyed having all the power over the vampire who had been her greatest danger from the undead crowd. She’s lorded her power over him as much as her Watcher and her friend had done. Made fun of him, made sure Spike was made to feel as powerless as possible.

She thought back to when she had her own powers stolen the previous year and how scary it was to try to figure out just who she was without them. Instead of understanding how Spike must have felt, how it took a lot of courage to come for help and expose his new weakness, she had indulged in petty jibes and cruelties. He had been at their mercy in every single way and received little actual mercy. Even blood had been given only when they felt like it and in amounts and a variety of THEIR choosing. If he had done the same to any of them, they would have called it evil.

Buffy was ashamed not only for her behavior but her friend and mentor as well. “Giles doesn’t even have the excuse of being young and immature or not knowing there’s more than black and white in the supernatural world either.” Yeah, there was going to be more than a few changes once they got back in the world again. “Can’t wait to saddle up,” she grinned then grimaced as she watched Giles roughly shove Spike into the hated bathroom.

***

source: imgur.com

“That’s the ticket,” GhostSpike smirked in glee, “give the old Wanker a proper set down. Comin’ into your town all secretive, makin’ your whole team keep quiet so he can come off like a cheap Harlequin hero savin’ the damsel who could break him in two without breakin’ a sweat. Underminin’ your position as Slayer. Implyin’ you’re too soft & fragile to be able to even bear a quick look at him & his massive forehead without a swoon.”

He couldn’t wait for Buffy’s righteous indignation to kick in as she gave Angel a dressing down for his Thanksgiving stunt. Her ex had gone behind her back supposedly to save her yet had done little to nothing, as usual, when push came to shove. “Buffy took care of that Indian bloke while bakin’ pies! What kind of vision made Peaches think she needed him to save her?”

He listened to Angel try to paint himself as the self-sacrificing hero. “Nice that soul didn’t damage your ego one bit, gramps,” he sneered. “Whole world revolves around the Great Angelus with OR without a soul it seems.”

While Spike was enjoying watching Buffy in all her self-righteous glory, he’d missed the crashing entrance of the large Samurai wanna-be demon and the enticing battle the likes of which Spike missed more than fresh blood from the tap. He smirked watching Angel’s rather ham handed “style” of fighting, relying on his bulk and reach instead of skilled combat.

The former lovers were bickering while fighting and chasing the demon and Spike bit back his

disgust. ‘No wonder Buffy was so confused about her feelings about love. Got it all mixed up with pain and angst. Whole bloody Romeo and Juliet shite. Missed the point that the story is a soddin’ tragedy, not a romance. Right there in the original title, ’The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet’ innit?’

The demon made a getaway as the pair were lamenting the endless misery of their own personal tragic love. Finally they split off looking for the demon warrior. Spike had to admit his jealousy was at the core of his enjoying their romantic setting being a sewer. ‘Least for us it’s alley’s most of the time. Better smell at least.’

Spike’s ghostly form followed Buffy as she tried to track the beastie. He was glad he didn’t have

To watch more of the doomed pair lamenting their loss at least.

He was as shocked as Buffy when the big lug caught up to them in broad daylight on the beach. For a minute Spike wondered if his grandsire had kept the Gem in some form after all. Made no sense that he was standing in broad daylight with a constipated grin on his face.

***

Spike had to remind himself that HIS Buffy was no longer this girl from only a few weeks past in the ‘real world’. No running into the Great Poof’s overdeveloped arms like he was the bloody second coming. ‘Owe gratitude for this spell if only for ridding Buffy of the delusions of adequacy she saw in Angelus.’

The reunion was right out of a teen romance, all it lacked was Angel sparkling like he’d rolled about in glitter.

Once Spike got past the jealousy and started to actually think about what he was seeing his brow creased in a frown as his thought took a dark turn. “What the actual fuck is goin’ on? I’d think Buffy would have brought her honey-bear home with her to start buildin’ that house with a white picket fence. Don’t recall her sayin’ a thing ‘bout Angel going over all human.“ Was all of this he’d been experiencing, seeing Buffy’s life, winning her regard, then love, been a fantasy?

If none of what Spike had been experiencing since they had wrestled over the icon had been a real look into Buffy’s life… did Buffy still hate him? He shivered in fear and choked back the tears he could feel forming. “There has to be an explanation.”

Everything around him suddenly went rather foggy and the snog fest mixed with gluttonous food tasting he’d been watching faded into the haze. He felt as disoriented as he had back when there were frequent shifts in time during this odyssey.

He heard her before he saw her. “Halfling, I usually do not step in to explain but this lower-being and his manipulations could interfere with the purpose of this benediction and I cannot permit that.”

Spike was gobsmacked at the vision before him. The woman was lovely in an ethereal way no human or demon could pull off. She radiated power just in her very being and he fought the urge to fling himself at her feet worshipfully. She was garbed in a Greecian style white gown of such purity it glowed. Her lovely dark tresses kissed her toned upper arms and moved by an unseen breeze . Her slightly pouty lips were full and gentle. So taken with the vision was Spike that he missed the other changes around him.

“And you would be?” he gasped out softly not in a demanding manner but genuine inquiry.

“I have been called by many names depending on the culture and language. I have been worshiped by many titles, petitioned for many boons. I believe the witch who summoned me called on my personae as Eleos, the Benevolent Bringer of Empathy as that was the boon she sought.”

Spike gulped. Not every day a bloke found himself in the company of a literal Goddess after all.

The deity in question was gazing at Spike piercingly. Looking into his eyes as if reading his non-existent soul. Finally she smiled gently and nodded. “Yes. You have done well. You have learned important lessons, developed the control you had set aside but need for embracing the empathy desired.” She began to laugh, it tinkled like diamonds hitting glass, sharp and hard yet not. “My! You have far exceeded what was intended. You’ve gone well beyond empathy and embraced love itself.” She seemed surprised yet pleased at the development.

Spike scuffed his boot in embarrassment, “Always was a bit of an overachiever.” His admission was spoken at a near whisper. “‘Spect the seeds were already there though.”

“I suspect you are correct,” she concurred. “The same is true with your companion in this lesson.”

Spike looked up sharply, “So… it’s real then?”

“Very much so.”

“But how.. I mean the Pon… er… Angel’s still a vamp in the real world, least I think he is.” He could make no sense of it at all. “You say you don’t usually do show and tell, there a reason for this honor?” Spike was quite sincere and it showed. He could be a bit of an idiot from time to time but would have to be a full blown clodpate if he would play it glib with a Goddess. He wanted to survive this spell in the end after all.

Eleos closed her eyes in contemplation then gave a bit of a resigned sigh. “It should not have been permitted. The Oracles took much upon themselves. What was done fulfilled the prophecy and should not have been undone.”

Spike looked befuddled not to mention a bit woozy if only from being in such company.

The Goddess graciously took pity and motioned to a marble bench as the scene around them took form. Spike gazed in amazement at a scene he’d yearned to view in his human days when dreams of the Grand Tour still lived in his breast. The temples were in a bit of a ruinous state as they likely were in his own world. Still he gratefully sank onto the bench as directed.

She looked a trifle sad. “Such disrepair. It saddens me. Yet in demon dimensions my temple thrives. The old ones are replaced with the new, such is the way off things it would seem. In your world I am largely forgotten except as being collectively acknowledged as one of The Powers” She shook her head and gave a very deep sigh. “You do see what happens with a committee! No clearly designated duties, conflicting agendas. Often chaos occurs. Favorites are pitted one against another in endless games. But that is a matter for another day.” She smiled at her captive audience. It was nice to have the full attention of a human for the first time in a long while.

Her gaze was as otherworldly as her very existence and Spike felt laid bare before her, stripped of his defenses and masks.No amount of leather or snark could hide his true self from this being. He didn’t even desire to try.

“I will reveal what is necessary for you to understand and to learn what you must from this stop on your journey. Always with knowledge comes power. Had you not already loved, I would not give this power to you. I have confidence that you will choose how and when to wield it.”

There was a time when such an offer of power would have made the demon in him dance a jig but he felt no such joyous anticipation now, instead he felt a great deal of responsibility. He had the feeling that what he was to learn could hurt Buffy greatly and he was loath to give her any pain.

Eleos nodded as if following his thoughts. “Yes, that is why I choose to give it to you. You please me Halfling.”

Spike had to ask, “Why do you call me that?”

“Are you not of two-natures? Demon resides with man in equal shares within you yet you are not divided.”

“Not thought much about it but suppose that’s true enough.”

“Your demonic relative, the one styling himself as Angel, could also be balanced yet chooses to war within himself to his detriment. He is a lower being by his own choice when he, too, could have risen to be more. It is his failings and insecurities that things are so … convoluted in this part of your Buffy’s journey. There are two realities where there should be but one. He gave back that which he claims to desire.”

Spike was even more confused.

“He was adrift and had no purpose. Other Powers saw he needed inducement to at least try to be his better self. First he was shown your Slayer and as you know it began his slight steps into actively doing things on the side of good, however meager and tentative. When his path took him from her side he was once again lost and bitter. It was thought he would slide once more

into inaction or worse. He was shown a prophecy and it relit his zeal. Once more he had a goal, a prize or so he told himself. Yet when he received it, he didn’t recognize it, shunned it. The form did not match his expectation.”

“Yeah, that’s Angelus alright.” Spike grinned. “Everything has to be the way he sees it or it’s not right.” He had a sudden thought, “So you sayin’ he thinks he’s gonna be a real boy as some kind of Cracker Jack prize?”

Eleos laughed lightly. “That is one way to phrase it. I don’t quite understand why he feels he is entitled to a reward just for enduring his punishment but I try not to deal with that being. He is far too … difficult for my sensibilities. He can frustrate, even though he has many backers among the other Powers.”

“Yeah, he’s like that.”

“He should have taken the promised humanity and lived a good, decent, life with his sins forgiven. A fresh start as was promised. He did not enjoy the loss of power, however. He claimed it was because Your Slayer would need his enhanced abilities even though he had no intention of returning to her side to use them. The Oracles were taken in with his reasoning as they saw the many dangers she will face and assumed Angel was sincere.”

Spike had a bad feeling about where this might be going. He knew how Angel loved to control everything. It wouldn’t surprise him if he found a way to control the bloody Powers along the way.

“All that occurred was undone including his reward that he did not even recognize.”

“So you’re saying that what I’m seein’ DID happen but didn’t?”

Eleos nodded. You will see what truly took place. I have decided you should do so. You will also see why it is not even a memory to any other being save those in my realm and the arrogant lower-being who dared to undo reality.

“Suppose I should keep what I see to myself?” Spike wished he knew the right answer to that. Part of him felt Buffy deserved the truth. Another part realized that some of that desire came from wanting to further blacken Angel’s image with her. “If I tell her, I want it to be for a good reason. Not sure there is one.”

Eleos beamed her impressed smile in his direction. “I was right! You can be trusted with this knowledge. She should know but it should be told properly and at the proper time. I believe your love will help you to know when that should occur.”

The deity rose and extended her hand to Spike. “Come, Halfling. Let us see what actually happened shall we?”

The Goddess looked around at what was left of the once glorious temple in sadness and mused as if to herself. “Once there were temples and festivals. We were worshiped. Now there are ruins and myths. Such is the way of higher beings. Yet we remain. Hubris was ever our downfall. We forget there is but ONE source, we are merely the first of creation, called angels or demons by some, called old gods by others… many pantheons, many names. We stand and watch. We were the first. Then came the Old Ones and much later, man. Universes of diversity and still we remain, we interact, most of us. We have our favorites. We’ve warred but in time there was balance. What you call The Powers are those dedicated to keeping that balance through all dimensions, among all beings. Perfection was lost, but balance can still be had.” She smiled again at Spike, “And sometimes we select new favorites.”

***

“Plonker is gonna weigh a ton the way he’s shovelin’ food down his gullet,” Spike shook his head. He’d never understood why Angel hadn’t indulged in human food like he did. Sure he could see avoiding the more bland things but there were so many great cuisines to savor and enjoy and Angel was as skint with that as everything else. “Repressive bastard. Wouldda made his Da proud to see it.”

It was kind of funny in a way. Vampires were rather known for being hedonists, indulging their desires willy-nilly but it took becoming human again for old Liam to succumb. “Only thing he ever truly indulged in as a vampire without the soul is cruelty, his so-called art.” Well, he thought again, he HAD indulged in sex too but often combined with that his trademark, cruelty. This new not-really-improved version of the Berk was all about the pleasure.

Spike wasn’t that thrilled having to avoid watching the part of that pleasure begin multiple rounds with Buffy in his bed but the sounds alone made it clear that he was as gung-ho with that as the peanut-butter and ice-cream revelations.

Spike watched as Angel left Buffy sleeping alone in his bed as he went to chat up the Mick working for him. Poor Buffy seemed doomed to wake up alone every time she went to sleep in the arms of Angel?

He listened in as the seer told about the dangers of the Mohra demon having regenerated as well. Spike rolled his eyes as the now human Angel decided to let the sleeping girl lie while he sauntered off to slay the beastie. “Wanker. Not that great a fighter against it when you had the demon power, what’s your plan now? You’re as useful as Buffy’s floppy haired friend back home now.”

Naturally Buffy had to rush out to save the idiot. Spike knew she would when he listened to her question the Cheerleader about where her sweetie-pie had gone off to leavin’ Buffy to cold sheets and bad memories.

“Typical narcissist, gramps. Hero complex mixed with the victim syndrome. Play ‘em both to be the center of attention, whichever’s needed at the time.”

He watched as Angel went from playing the intended hero to letting Buffy rescue him and tend to his boo-boos with a roiling stomach. Even knowing things would be different now it annoyed him. Reminded him of how often Angel had played his girl this way from the start. “Never good enough to just be her equal, her partner. Never one to have her back ‘cause that would mean the spotlight’d be off you innit?”

Yeah, Spike could imagine both saving and being saved by Buffy and vice/versa but only as her partner. Buffy was the hero, ALWAYS the hero. He was just the fella who was going to make sure she survived her heroics.

***

Buffy and Angel froze as Buffy was tenderly checking Angel for injuries.

Suddenly the salt factory disappeared and Eleos was once more before him. “Come, Halfling, you will see what this one does next.”

The scene shifted and Spike saw two astonishing looking people with gold skin and blue markings, both with clear superiority complexes facing his grand-sire.

“Hey, that was the vase I gave to Dru!” Spike felt indignation seeing Angel give Dru’s property as tribute to the Oracles. “Got the dynasty right but that goes back to the late 1600s not the bloody 1800s you ill-educated lout!”

He listened in horror as the Oracle let Angel know that Buffy was slated for death fairly soon, implied Angel would help prevent it. “Not gonna be Angel, gonna be me. Angel’s never there when she needs him anyway.”

He watched as Angel glomped onto that bit of information as a heroic excuse to ‘give up’ his great prize of mortality. “Yeah, ‘cause you were only there to give Dru’s pretties away. Were there to get your demon back and we both know it! Didn’t like bein’ weak. Had nothing to do with protectin’ Buffy but bet that’s how you’ll tell it.”

Spike refused to admit he would have felt the same way but then he’d never claimed a desire to be human again either. ‘Wouldda respected ya’ more if you copped to the truth old man. Just said you hated losin’ all that power to be just another regular Joe.’

Angel was going on about needing to be a vampire again so he could protect Buffy. “Like you ever managed it before,” Spike sneered. “Didn’t come back with her either. If you think she’s in danger pretty soon, I’d think you’d be movin’ back to that hulking mansion of yours and keepin’ watch. Seem to recall you’re still swanning about in LA playin’ fanged Batman.”

Spike blinked as it hit him. How there were two versions of one day.

Eleos glanced at Spike. “Yes, his hamartia will lead to tragedy for more than just himself. All who ally with him will suffer. He has MANY flaws, more than one fatal for that matter but his hubris, his inability to see anything other than what he already believes, to listen to any counsel… that will be his undoing. The young seer will be the first to fall but not the last.” She gave Spike a piercing glare, “See that you are not among the last. Remember his nature and your true place when and if the time comes.”

Spike wasn’t too sure what the Goddess meant but was more than happy to nod in agreement. Last thing he wanted was to be caught up in the wake of one of Angel’s grand dramas.

Suddenly they were back with Buffy and Angel again only back at his office. He watched as Angel briefly explained his actions, HIS decision, to the heartbroken Slayer. Watched as Buffy’s heart was ripped from her chest for Angel’s gratification.

“So … gonna take all her memories of this. No need for her to have even been told what she’s losing you sadistic fuck. Only thing tellin’ her at this point does is for you to have the memory of how much pain she’s in losin’ all you had. Gonna relive that memory, taste the salt of her tears and wank off to it. Another artistic triumph!” He was disgusted. There was no legitimate reason for Angel to even tell Buffy since it was a done deal. All that did was cause her a full minute of deep pain.

Spike wasn’t sure now if Buffy SHOULD be told or not. Yes, one one hand she had the right to know what had happened. How Angel had made a unilateral decision without even asking her for input and had thrown away the very thing he demanded she seek… a life with a “normal” man at her side. He would have to give it some deeper thought AND make certain his motives were unselfish. He was fairly sure the pain of learning the truth wouldn’t rival the pain he witnessed Angel administer but it still would sting. Eleos was right, knowledge was power and the last thing Spike would ever want was to use his power, any of it, to hurt Buffy in any way, shape, or form.

“Yes,” the Goddess smiled. “I was certain you could be trusted with this truth. We Powers are not without our own ability to make mistakes but your ability to love is strong. I know that if you choose to give this information to your Slayer, you will do it with mercy and in compassion. I am well pleased.”

“Thought you Powers-that-are-all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips were immune to flaws.” Spike quirked a brow. He’d listened in Sunday School after all.

“We Powers are not without flaws. Some like humans, some do not. Some let their biases override wisdom. We ARE Powers, but not THE Power after all. Look at how much bias lay in the error in sending Whistler to Angel in the belief that curse and the soul in him would make him the right Champion for the Slayer?”

“True, not what I’d call all-knowin’. Certain sure didn’t know that Berk with OR without a soul.”

“Take the Oracles. They are a conduit to the Powers but their main focus is as keepers of time. That is how they were able to unravel that day. They were intended to use their knowledge of time to answer questions, guide the warriors of the light.”

“Why doesn’t Buffy know ‘bout ‘em then?”

“Ah, there is more than one warrior. She is THE Chosen, One chosen to stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is given direct messages in the form of dreams and some rituals known to her Watcher. She should have no need to question the Oracles.” She silently looked Spike over with that soul-knowing look again. “There are many warriors of light, however. Some have seers like the one given to Angel. Some seek out those who have the power to answer, to guide. Demon hunters, those who stand ready to protect the innocent. Such resources are for them. You now qualify as a warrior of the light, Halfling.”

Spike scoffed. “Hardly think I’ve done anything to make anyone think that.”

“Perhaps not but did you not ally yourself willingly with the Slayer to prevent an apocalypse?”

“Well, yeah. Didn’t want the world endin’, wanted to save Dru too.”

The Goddess nodded. “Yes, complex motivations, many selfish yet still putting you on the side of good versus evil. You have made other choices through the years that show your potential. It is my belief that now that your heart belongs with the Chosen One you will fulfill that potential. I would be delighted to be your patroness in this endeavor, William.”

He was gobsmacked and felt uncomfortably unworthy.

“Oh, don’t worry. It isn’t likely you and I will see one another again nor will you begin to hear a chorus of your own pixies like your previous love. But I will keep watch and send you dreams of your own if needed.” Eleos nodded as it to herself, “Yes, I believe that might well be necessary from time to time.”

If Spike could have blushed, he would have. ‘Imagine, havin’ a Goddess give a rats arse about a bloke like me!’ He thanked her humbly. “Say, if you’re gonna give me a nudge from time to time on account of my helpin’ my Buffy, does that mean Rupes gets dreams too?”

Eleos frowned. “Sadly, no. While Buffy’s Watcher is a step above the norm, the Council was barred from such supernatural aid once they stopped backing up the Slayer and began to see themselves as the real power. The Chosen was merely a weapon for their use in their arrogance. A girl to control, to let die or even kill when uncontrollable. Then that line of communication was ended. We assigned Guardians to watch over them and when the time comes the Guardians will interact with the Slayer directly when needed.”

“Never heard of them,” he frowned.

“They will be revealed at the proper time. In the meantime, you will serve us well, William. You will be the warrior the Powers had hoped for to assist the Slayer. You will help to reshape the world along with your Buffy.”

“What should I do?”

“Follow your heart, William, it will see you through. Let love guide you. It is your nature after all.”

As the Goddess faded from view, Spike felt the pull as Buffy raced back to Sunnydale, clear of any memory of all that had actually happened.

“My heart always leads to you, Love.”

Help

pfeifferpack — Tue, 23 Nov 2021 06:13:38 GMT

Help the tech challenged. I want to post in the old version. I've been doing that for ages. I know how to post that way and can't figure out how to use the new with links to photos, etc. Someone want to explain just how to post links to pix or vid in the new form OR how and what to change when I get to the page that supposedly lets me continue to use the old version. Keep it simple for the simple minded please.

Thanks

Eye of Eleos 79/

pfeifferpack — Tue, 23 Nov 2021 06:02:08 GMT

Apologies for the long delay in updating. Had a large amount of this chapter written well over a month ago. Real-life came in like a wrecking ball (apologies to Ms. Cyrus) and prevented my completing it quickly. The capper was the finger fracture/dislocation that I’m still dealing with but have managed to learn to type around. Hence, a late but completed chapter. PROMISE the next one won’t take nearly as long to produce barring a zombie attack or the like.

Episode:“The Initiative” written by Douglas Petrie (given the situation, some slightly graphic details in chapter but nothing too terrible IMHO)

Reminder: This tale began shortly after Something Blue. The spell kicked in before Spike discovered he is capable of fighting demons. Even with all the learning taking place during the course of this magical journey, neither Buffy nor Spike know he’s not totally incapacitated when it comes to fighting. In canon, he learned he could fight and kill demons in the episode Doo

<lj-cut>

Chapter 79

GhostBuffy saw her counterpart below looking up at her and yearned to have just a few moments together before the masked Commandos dragged Spike off to wherever their base was.

It all happened so fast. One moment she’d been listening to a seething Spike muttering threats as he watched her in-time self slaying away below and the next she saw him convulsing with the electricity used to take him down.

There’d been no time to even try to say anything to the Ghostly Spike below, only time to reach out a longing hand that was too far away to touch. She saw him look up at her in anguish.

Real-time Spike writhed like bacon in a skillet as volts shot through him. His growls faded along with this consciousness.

Buffy watched helplessly as the balaclava-wearing soldiers quickly zip-tied his wrists and ankles then dragged him across the far edges of the commons.

She fumed at the rough treatment but all of this was in the past along with all the other pain and horror Spike had endured over the century that Buffy had been witness to by now. “He’s so resilient. Things that would break most people don’t destroy him… thank God.”

She followed along noting where on the campus the hidden entrance to the labs was located. ‘Huh, not too far from where Spike tore up the sod looking for it just before Wil’s spell got us engaged and distracted. He was really close.’

Spike had told them very little about the place where they’d de-fanged him. He’d been with Giles for weeks and only spoon-fed a few details about his captivity. Enough to keep a safe roof over his head and receive minimal amounts of pigs blood. He’d made it clear that he was concerned that once they had picked his brain clean of all Commando-related information that he’d either be out on his ear to fend for himself or staked out-of-hand.

Before the spell, Buffy might have thought either of those options perfectly acceptable fates. True, Spike hadn’t done much harm to any of them considering all that he could have done since that first encounter in the alley behind the Bronze. As far as Buffy was concerned back before this spell that showed her so much from a different light, he was merely a soulless, evil, demon, and fair game. Their truce from a couple of years before had long been broken by Spike’s return to Sunnydale.

He had threatened her and fought her but Buffy now knew he’d only been playing with her as he had many other Slayers over the century that he’d not considered up for a real go. Mostly he’d tried to keep her and the others off his tail so he could cure Dru, keep her safe.

Even the Order of Taraka had been nothing more than a diversion but the bug man and the gun lady had traumatized Xander, Cordy, and Willow enough that they had felt targeted.

On the other hand… Spike had made that truce and saved Giles from permanent injury. He’d done all that he’d promised except for the staying gone part.

His return the next year and the drunken kidnapping of Xander and Willow had only increased their fear of the vampire with the scary reputation and rough exterior.

Neither of her two friends was given to analyzing what had happened nor insightful enough to realize that they weren’t actually harmed. Xander had a lump on his head but Spike hadn’t left his unconscious body on the classroom floor for some random demon to eat. ‘Probably plenty of them on the school staff to see an easy meal too I’ll bet,’ she considered. Buffy thought about the bug teacher and demon-making coach who likely weren’t alone in their employment at Hellmouth High.

“Spike even laid Xan down all cozy on a clean mattress in the factory while he cried on Wil’s shoulder and made his stupid demands.”

Willow still carried on about the bottle in the face but never stopped to think that she wasn’t even scratched.

True, he’d tried to bite and offered to turn Willow when he first escaped from the Commandos but he hadn’t manhandled her or done any physical damage.

Still, they all saw Spike as the Big Bad who had threatened them. Buffy had even heard Xander go on and on about how Spike tried to kill them several times even though that didn’t hold up if you looked at it honestly.

The closest he’d even come to really being intent on damage where Buffy herself was concerned had been when he got the ring. Even then he’d pulled his punches so to speak once he saw that her head wasn’t in the game. He’d tried to goad her into a decent fight but even then it hadn’t panned out to be a real threat to her life.

Now Buffy looked at Spike’s fears after they offered shelter in a different light. Since she had stopped seeing just the fangs and blood and gotten to know and love the whole man, she was embarrassed to think those threats they all made only fed his fears and came from herself and the others who claimed to be the ‘good guys’.

Spike had been rendered defenseless. Even a child could take him out at this point. The long-lived and mighty warrior who had even bested two Slayers at the top of their game couldn’t even hit back! He’d come to them in desperation, utterly vulnerable, and thrown himself on their mercy.

In return, he’d been taunted, teased, bullied, chained in a bathtub, tied to chairs, fed only the least amount of sustenance to keep him going, and not the right diet to actually be healthy at that. He’d been treated like a pariah and it had been made clear that he was alive only due to their good graces.

In short, he lived by their whim. It was no wonder he had no expectations on which to build trust.

True he’d been a bit of an ass, but words and attitude were all that was left to him. He’d been stripped of all his accustomed pride, confidence, and ability to fight back. Also true that the first bits of hostility had come from their side, right at the doorstep in fact.

They hadn’t asked about his experience in the hands of the soldiers or really cared much beyond making sure he was as harmless as he claimed. They had demanded he tell all he knew while making it clear that he was unwelcome and hated. He survived only due to their suffrage. That consideration could be removed as easily as it had been given.

No wonder he’d kept his own counsel!

“Well, I’m about to get a first-person view. Won’t need to pick Spike’s brain once the spell ends.”

Buffy knew there was a lab, Spike had called it that. ‘Well, I took both Bio I and Chem I in high school. I know what a lab is,’ she thought as she followed the capture team with their unconscious prisoner across campus.

Spike had been trussed up like a Christmas turkey and was still out like a light. ‘Guess that would be Christmas twinkle lights to not mix my metaphors,’ Buffy joked to herself. He was being dragged and already his face was abraided by the rough treatment. She hated to see him hurt but knew he’d heal pretty quickly from that.

She thought back to her days at Sunnydale High and the science classes required. ‘Passed them both too. Okay, Wil being the bestest study buddy, had helped a lot especially with Chemistry. Buffy being agreeable to be the one to wield the scalpel in Biology during dissections had earned her the aid of her lab partner even without Willow in the same class. ‘It’s all who you know,’ she quipped to herself as she remembered.

She’d managed a solid B in Biology and had managed a C- in Chemistry even after the ‘Bunsen Burner Incident’ as Willow still called it. Buffy still felt it was unfair to lose a grade point just because the flamy thing made the stuff in the beaker overflow and eat a hole in the table!

Buffy figured she knew about labs given those two classes that haunted her memories of her Sophomore and Junior years at the old teen prison.

‘Lots of tubes and microscopes and slides. Maybe icky demon parts instead of dead frogs and fish or pigs eyes,’ she nodded to herself as she followed the Commandos and Spike into a cave with a hidden elevator. She wasn’t too worried having seen plenty of demon parts in her day. She figured she knew what to expect… until…

Not this!

***

Spike was still unconscious as they dragged him through the narrow hallway that ran between seemingly endless glass-like fronted cells. Spike probably didn’t really see all of this to be able to tell them, actually.

Buffy was stunned. There were plenty of demons she recognized as the type she killed on a regular basis. More than a few vampires all in game face too.

Then she spotted Dave what’s his name who delivered pizza to the gang most Saturday’s and Mr. Mancuso who always was so friendly when Buffy stopped at the Quicky Mart late at night after patrol to grab a Tab. ‘I didn’t even know they were demons!’

The soldiers seemed to be grabbing up anyone that their handheld doohickies said weren’t human. Buffy knew that more than just the two she knew personally had to be harmless. She’d never made a study of the different demon species in her town but knew that there were plenty who kept their noses clean (and just what did that mean anyway?) and out of trouble. If they didn’t kill people or cause a ruckus or try to end the world, she left them pretty much alone. In turn, they were more than happy to give her a wide berth as well. That didn’t mean Buffy was totally ignorant of their existence.

She shuddered as they passed a cell with a sobbing silver-scaled demon female holding a trembling toddler of her own species. The demon mother cringed against the back wall as the soldiers passed her cell.

Some demons who were more feisty threw themselves against the glass growling or speaking threats in multiple languages. The soldiers paid them no mind and the demons jumped back when they were shocked upon contact with the clear wall of their cells.

They turned a corner and another long row of cells displayed demons in no condition to either cower or lunge. These poor creatures, or what was left of them, were barely alive at all.

Suddenly Buffy’s definition of ‘lab’ underwent a horrific upgrade. This was nothing like she had imagined. This was hell in her own dimension, a hell ruled by humans where demons suffered the torments of the damned. Somehow Buffy was pretty sure that not all of them deserved that. “Certainly not Mr. Mancuso or Dave the Pizza Guy” Probably a lot more than just those two as well.

***

He’d been in a holding cell for a few days and deprived of food when a team of soldiers opened the service hatch and shot a tranq into Spike, felling him quickly.

Buffy watched them strap him down on the gurney after stripping him to the skin. Then without any conversation rolled him towards the surgical arena.

It was a large open pit with multiple tables filled with demons in various stages of experimentation. None were sedated and most were either weeping or screaming as the medical personnel did their assigned operations.

Spike came back to awareness on the gurney as lab techs cut into him taking tissue samples, blood samples, and who knows what other bits and bobs they attempted to acquire for their studies. There was no anesthetic administered and Spike bellowed his complaints and threats to no avail. He wasn’t merely being treated like a lab animal but as a thing or simply non-existent.

“Can’t you hear him speak? Can’t you tell he has intelligence?” Buffy was horrified at the complete lack of concern being shown for the demons being poked, prodded, cut, and other things beyond her imagination.

Buffy ground her teeth as she listened to them cooly discuss the various experiments planned for ‘subject 17’ as they had renamed Spike.

“I hear Maggie thinks this one might survive the behavior modification implant. Seems to be less feral than some of the others of its kind. Most of the others just kept on trying to bite until they fried their brains,” techie one snickered.

“Yeah, can only do that so long. They don’t seem to learn. Maybe Dr. Walsh will strike gold with this one though. Make her mood better. We can only hope she’s right about this one.”

“Walsh? Maggie Walsh?” Buffy was stunned. She knew her Professor was cold and all-business, she just never would have expected torture to be her actual business. “I thought her idea of torture was only her tough grading and impossible tests.”

“What else is this one slated for? Doubt they just want to wire it up.”

The more somber of the two technicians nodded towards another gurney where a demon Buffy didn’t recognize struggling to get free. “Well, Angleman wants a standard vivisection. This one was headed for that until Dr. Walsh noticed it was wearing a human face all this time and decided to give the chip a chance first. Plenty of time for them to open it up to poke around after we see if it burns itself up.”

“I doubt that’s all that’s on the schedule though. I mean they’re pushing these experiments pretty quickly. I hear they want something good to show for the work so the funding gets upped.”

“Have you ever known military to cut a budget yet?” the older of the two snickered. “Nothing like the government for throwing good money after bad and this project has produced enough good they’re more likely to get what she’s asking for.”

“I’d like to give her what she’s asking for,” Buffy growled.”Bitch! I thought I didn’t like her just because she’s a tyrant in the lecture hall. Cutting up my vampire is another thing though!”

Buffy had been shocked to see her Psychology professor in her lab coat hovering over Spike when they arrived in the surgery pit. Walsh had been surprised to see their newest captive still showing his human features. The cruel smile on the professor’s face chilled Buffy. ‘That can’t be good for Spike!’

She wondered how many of the others she passed on a daily basis without knowing they were part of the commando groups she’d been trying to identify.

Buffy’s attention turned to the now screaming demon on the other gurney as the masked doctor made his Y incision and began to open its torso. The demon had a humanoid body so the procedure was the same sort that Buffy had known was done in a standard autopsy. “Except then the one being cut open is dead and not feeling anything!”

She watched in horror as the demon’s breastbone was broken and ribcage pried open to get at the internal organs of the hapless demon. “Oh, God, I’m so glad Spike escaped before they got around to him!”

In truth, they hadn’t bothered to check Spike for injuries when he came to them for help but she was certain he hadn’t had to endure this at least. “Taking out those arrows on Thanksgiving gave me a glimpse of his chest and it wasn’t healing from anything this invasive.”

Then again there had been plenty of areas that had shown multiple cuts and punctures that she hadn’t asked about at the time. Hadn’t really cared much, to her current shame.

Buffy remembered seeing blood in Giles’ tub and ranting at Spike for being a messy eater who didn’t deserve the butcher’s blood they had grudgingly provided. Spike had glowered at her as she’d gone on and on about how much feeding him was costing. Now she began to think that perhaps it was more likely that some of those unnoticed wounds had opened up causing him to bleed into his hard place of confinement. ‘Didn’t look. Didn’t care,’ she cringed at her own lack of empathy.

The technician was looking over the chart of planned experiments as they tuned out the wails and cries of the demon whose organs were being removed and weighed. Buffy couldn’t understand the words of the unknown demon but no one could misunderstand the torment it was experiencing.

Spike’s eyes looked like those of a terrified horse Buffy remembered from a childhood incident. Wide and wild and rolling about as he struggled against his restraints. The surrounding screams, curses, pleas, and sobs from myriad species like some hellish choir all around him. The hymn they sang was, “This is in your future, vampire” and Spike knew THOSE words well.

The technicians were still discussing the specific plans for Spike as they awaited the Doctor for that important surgical implant. “Looks like a bunch of tests on healing time so they’ll do some damage in increasing stages for that. Looks like some tests on endurance with extreme temperature fluctuations.” The tech shook his head. “Guess some of those old movies got something right. Looks like they plan to test one arm with acid burns and the other with Holy Water. Can you believe it? Who’d think plain water with a bit of chanting over it would actually have an effect on something like this thing?”

“Wonder if it has to be a Christian or if other religious stuff would work too?”

“Who knows? Maybe that’s another group’s study. We’ve grabbed plenty of this kind of HST’s after all.”

“Yeah, inquiring minds want to know,” he snickered. “Might have to look into joining a church if they find which one works best ya’ know?”

“Save proselytizing for off-duty hours gentlemen We are here for science not sorting through superstition.” Walsh looked as cold as one of those plaster statures in many churches but with a far less gentle and compassionate countenance.

She gave an icy glance at Spike and looked at her clipboard. “While we await Dr. Angleman, break a couple of bones to start the tests on healing.” She pointed to Spike’s right forearm and then motioned to his ribs. “Let’s see how long it takes this one to show its true face.”

“Showin’ yours right clear you bitch,” Spike hissed. “Biggest monster in this hell-hole. Seen rabid M’glashna’s with more feelin’ than you have. Fuckin’ Mengele got nothin’ on you and I met the prick.”

Maggie glanced at him and made a notation on her notes. “So you were alive in the 40s? Interesting. Perhaps age makes some difference.”

“Been around a lot longer than that and I’ll still be standin’ when you’re under the ground. Plan to piss all over your grave on that happy day you sadistic twat. Minger like you won’t have mourners to be offended,” Spike snarled.

Walsh ignored Spike’s tirade. Buffy figured she’d probably been called worse and that just from her regular students.

Buffy heard the double snap as both the radius and ulna were broken by the tech. She could see the pain on Spike’s face but he refused to cry out and give Walsh the joy of having ordered his torment. His indrawn breath gave away his distress to anyone with an ounce of awareness though.

“Good tolerance,” Maggie nodded. “Do the ribs next but cleanly and one at a time.”

“You Fuckin’ slag. I’m gonna rip your soddin’ head off your shoulders and crush it like a ripe melon then drink from your brain stem once I’m off this trolley.” The tech began following Maggie’s orders and went to get work on Spike’s ribs. “Think you can break me you whorish NAZI bitch? ‘Gelus tried for twenty years and couldn’t do it and he could give master classes in torture. You’re a rank amateur.”

Walsh casually took a scalpel from the tray next to Spike’s gurney and thrust it to the hilt into his left kidney. “Let’s see if you can work up some of that piss for my grave when I finally remove both of these.” Her voice didn’t betray her emotions but her words made it clear Spike’s threats did have some impact. Her lizard-like expression traveled down to Spike’s genitals as she withdrew the blade. “Perhaps remove other unnecessary bits while I’m at it.” With that threat, she turned and left his side to check on some of the other demons being worked on.

The last rib broken, Spike gasped out more curses as a masked surgeon fired up a bone saw and walked to a position at Spike’s head. Spike gave up the bravado and screamed as loudly as any other demon there as the Doctor began to remove parts of his skull.

***

Buffy had turned away unable to watch further damage being done to Spike by these supposed humans.

The sound of the saw stopped abruptly as the Doctor began digging into Spike’s brain tissue to implant a small bit of plastic and wire. “Boggs,” his voice was low but filled with authority. “Did Walsh say if this was to immediately activate or be on a delay?” He looked at the small variety of color-coded chips in the tray.

The technician, evidently named Boggs looked over the notes Maggie had on the chart. “Looks like she wants a timed activate. Wants to wait until it’s awake and recovered so it won’t burn out too quick. Got big plans for this one.”

“Remote or hard set? Come on, boy, need the information so I can close this one up and move on.”

“Hard code. The boys in IT already have the timer in the circuitry. Had to guess on recovery time though.” Boggs squinted as if trying to read the notes more clearly. “Seems they figure it’ll wake up pretty quickly but it’s set for about a day and a half to go online.”

Angleman nodded. “Sounds like a fair estimate. Opting for the upgraded model then.” He carefully snagged one of the chips with more silvery wires with his forceps and prepared to implant it in Spike’s parietal lobe. “Meanwhile so ahead and continue to take the samples you need for further tests.”

Buffy was relieved to note that Spike was unconscious at this point.

“Well,” Angleman sighed weary from his many patients, “Hope Maggie gets her money’s worth on this one. 1 through 16 didn’t last very long. Wouldn’t stop trying to fight and bite. Get right back up after the shocks and start all over again. Maybe this thing will prove a bit smarter and last long enough to get a decent test of the improvements.” He pulled off one set of gloves only to don another pair and move towards another hapless victim awaiting his macabre ministrations.

Buffy continued to face away from activity going on with Spike’s vulnerable body as technicians took skin, tissue, and blood samples from various places. All of those wounds she had been so casual in noting on Thanksgiving now being put into a horrifying context.

***

Buffy trailed behind the gurney as the commandos wheeled Spike down yet another hallway to a string of cells, many still awaiting occupants but judging by the rapidity of their captures not for too long.

Spike hadn’t wakened at all and she sent up a word of thanks to whatever deity watched out for vampires and demons.

“So,” one wide-faced soldier grinned at his companion, what’d you think of that hot little number Stig brought to the last Frat party? This is a great gig. Lots of hostiles to fuck over and a secret identity that puts us right in the middle of a co-ed buffet.”

“She was okay. I like some of the Freshmen better. More lamb, less mutton, ya’ know.”

“Hear Finn has his eye on the klutzy Freshman in his Psych class. Girl’s a spaz but a looker and pretty naive looking too. My money’s on Ri tappin’ that by month’s end.”

“I don’t know about that. He’s kinda weirdly old-fashioned when it comes to the girls. Gates is always razzing him about it. Think he’s looking for the one to take home to mom. You know breed the next generation of farm girls and soldier boys.”

“Maybe he should look elsewhere. That chicklet looks more valley-girl than Green Acres if you know what I mean. Probably go to milk a cow and grab a bull by its cock by mistake.”

Buffy glared at their backs knowing they had been unknowingly insulting her. “So TA Finn of the picnic invitations is one of these guys. Good to know. Just saved me from feeling bad about letting him down once this spell ends. He can just… go do stuff to those cows of his that he must talk about a lot.”.

The few cells that were occupied showed a variety of demons and a couple of vampires in various stages of damage. Their hollow-eyed gaze followed the newest member of their ranks as the soldiers unstrapped Spike and dumped him none too gently on the cold white floor then exited the cell.

The two soldiers rounded the corner snickering as they continued to discuss all the girls they had at the ready on their off-hours. “Gotta thank whoever decided to put this operation on a college campus.”

“Oh, yeah. Lots of easy pickings. Just imagine how much easier if we could only show how bad-ass we really are.” Their voices faded in the distance.

She turned in disgust to see Spike on his back and still out cold in the cell. They had redressed his body and the black and red of his clothing made a sharp contrast to all the white and glass of the cells.

***

Buffy sat vigil as Spike lay there looking more like a corpse than in her memory. “So that’s how he could fight his way out. The thingy in his head didn’t kick in until later. Gave him time to escape.”

She thought back to all she had seen of Spike’s life thus far and knew that this was one of the most horrible things to happen to him. She remembered well how she felt to have her power taken from her around her eighteenth birthday and the Crucifixion thing the Council did to her. It was no wonder Spike was cranky. For the first time since he’d been fully human, he was truly at the mercy of bullies and thugs unable to even fight back.

She remembered watching him on that actual NAZI sub years before and how chipper he was because he never envisioned they could take his power away. His life, maybe, but not without a fight. “What they’re doing here is no different from what those fascists were doing back then. It’s evil. Just because they are picking demons and vampires this time instead of just other people doesn’t make it any better.”

After all that Buffy had seen over the decades, she knew she’d never divide good and evil in the same way ever again. It wasn’t about species, it wasn’t about WHAT someone was… it was what they did, their choices. Actions made them evil or good and that had nothing to do with species, race, religion, gender, or any other box people liked to put others into. No way was she going to let this group prey on the demons on her Hellmouth! Those that needed to be put down would be taken care of… by HER, the one Chosen to do it. Those that just wanted to live would be safe to just live on.

This operation was going to be shut the hell down if it was the last thing she did. Spike might not be able to fight but he could help her work out a plan, maybe even let her know who she might recruit to help close up Little Maggies Shop of Horrors.

As Buffy began to consider ways to get the job done she recognized the voice of the “normal” seemingly gentle farm boy who had “gee shucks’d” his way into a date acceptance. Riley and his two besties were walking down the hall of misery not noticing or caring about the pain and terror on either side of them.

“I swear the hogs back home don’t make this much noise when it’s time for slaughter!” Finn complained and wrinkled his nose in distaste as one of the demons let out a shrill scream of agony when he turned over.

“Yeah, well, animals do make a fuss.” Forrest, or so Buffy thought his name was slapped Finn on the back. “Should make you feel less homesick though. Can take the boy off the farm but… hey … different environment, different animal but … Ya’ know what I mean?”

The other, Graham, looked uncomfortable “I don’t know. I mean farm animals and all we kill to eat. Have a reason for it all. Not sure I can figure out the end-game with this.”

“Ours is not to reason why,” Riley pontificated then grinned and laughed then shrugged. “Just do the job. Give up on dreams of any glory, for now. Depends on what they make of all these experiments I guess. We’re cutting edge, gentlemen.”

Graham darted a look around. “Still not what I was expecting when I signed on for the special operation. I was thinking more Delta Force, Beret, or Seal kinda action not capturing things I don’t even understand for doctors to do God knows what to.” He shuddered as another demon wailed. “I mean, I never even imagined things like these existed. Not sure what they are or if we should be playing around with them like this. Some of them seem almost human.”

“They’re Hostiles, Miller, that’s all we need to know at our paygrade. Bag ‘em, tag ‘em and move on to the next. Making humanity great again one monster at a time, am I right?” Forrest nodded. “Come on! This is the stuff of nightmares and we’re the heroes dragging them from under the bed or from the closet or whatever. Right Ri?”

“No different from any scientific lab. Some of the animals there are pretty cute but it’s gotta be done.”

“I read they pick beagles because they’re so forgiving for some of their experiments in the medical world. That’s kind of messed up if you ask me,” Graham suggested. “I mean picking some poor pup BECAUSE it’s sweet-tempered?”

“Look around you, soldier… do any of these things look remotely cuddly to you?”

He shrugged. “One or two didn’t look so terrible.”

“Like I said, not our paygrade.” Riley was tired of the old debate that had been going on between his best friends for weeks now. “Just do our duty then unwind back at the House. Don’t overthink it.”

“Yeah, that way leads to badness,” Gates agreed.

Buffy was disgusted. What was happening all around them screamed of wrong. She got that they were looking at all the demons and vampires as just some sort of animal but it didn’t seem altogether right to her to do this kind of thing to animals either and not just cute little beagles.

“There might be some times when they might have to but…” She felt so torn thinking about it. “Doesn’t mean you turn a blind eye to suffering. Animals suffer. You can see all these demons are suffering. Not all of them can talk like we do but they feel. Lots of them can think too and it should be obvious even to jerks like these guys.”

Somehow no argument she could think of justified torturing or experimenting on sentient creatures. Not humans. Not demons. Not vampires. Not animals. “Call me too soft but I don’t see how it’s anything other than evil even if somebody makes a case for it being a necessary evil. It’s still evil.”

***

Spike woke up angry and who could blame him. He roared in frustration as he got a shock trying to get out of the cell.

Buffy giggled as Spike started cursing her and assuming that she was somehow in charge of this terrible place. “He really has an overblown sense of my importance and power. I don’t even get health benefits.”

“You buggering bastards are gonna die slow,” he bellowed. A packet of blood dropped from the ceiling and he grabbed for it eagerly. ‘Gotta be in top shape to take all of ‘em on.’

Before he could sink his fangs into the bag a voice came from the cell next to his warning him that the blood was drugged.

“Hey, all I know is, you feed you wake up missing parts.”

Spike tossed to blood to the floor making a mess only Pollock fans would find appealing.

His fellow captive, another vampire, started to clue Spike in on his new reality… or as much as he knew. “Most of us don’t last long though so maybe drink up and don’t worry about it. Won’t be awake to see it happen.”

“Not for me. I’m gettin’ OUT of this bloody nightmare and gettin’ my proper revenge while I’m at it.”

“Yeah, you do that,” the other vampire was clearly not impressed.

Buffy was lost in revenge thoughts of her own and didn’t notice when someone opened the cell with another gurney.

Buffy wasn’t sure just what happened but suddenly things were in fast-motion and Spike and the vampire next to him were out of their cells as alarms rang and soldiers yelled from down the hall. Spike wasted no time making his way toward the doorway that was rapidly going into shutdown mode.

He shoved the other escapee into the two soldiers who blocked the path to freedom and slid under the closing doorway just in time.

Buffy had to run to keep up noting other escapees keeping the increasing numbers of soldiers busy and giving her vampire the time he needed to get to safety.

“No wonder he didn’t remember how he got out. It was all blind instinct and panic.” Spike tried this way and that and finally found an airshaft leading topside to freedom. “No time to mark just where the opening is.”

That was her vampire. He knew his priorities.

Evidently one of his priorities was to hunt HER down.

Buffy wasn’t sure if she should be flattered or insulted at Spike’s knee-jerk belief that this whole complex was somehow her doing. “He really does think highly of my power.” She giggled. “Yeah, like I can command troops. What does he think I am some General Buffy,” she snorted. “That’ll be the day.”

She watched as Spike easily navigated the computer to find her dorm room location. He was muttering threats and insults the whole time but still focused enough to get the information quickly.

She watched as he pounded on the door only to have Willow issue an ill-thought-out invitation.

“Really Wil? You’ve lived in Sunnydale all your life, working with me for years and you just yell out ‘come in’ to just anyone?” Buffy shook her head in exasperation. “Kinda asked for what’s coming.”

Willow was properly horrified to have a furious vampire accept her invitation and begin to demand Buffy’s location.

Spike made a lunge at Willow, fangs out and intent on slaking his starvation. He’d been in that lab for over a week after all and not fed.

Willow screamed and struggled but Spike’s screams were even louder as he clutched at his head in agony. “What the FUCK have you done to me?”

</lj-cut>

A/N:

Is the use of sentient animals in experiments justifiable?

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2949619/

Experimentation on humans and nonhumans

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16988895/

NAZI experiments on humans

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4822534/

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/holocaust/experiside.html

Nuremberg trial of NAZI doctors (Pathe newsreel)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zui0oNxSR1E&ab_channel=BritishPath%C3%A9

Medicine and Medical Ethics in Nazi Germany

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkaqOinw0RQ&ab_channel=MuseumJewishHeritageLivingMemorialToTheHolocaust

WARNING watch these videos understanding the depravity being depicted. Not for underage or sensitive viewers

Timeline films on NAZI camps, doctors, and experimentation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPTvPccmLUM&ab_channel=Timeline-WorldHistoryDocumentaries

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcQ37Ycx9Bg&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=Timeline-WorldHistoryDocumentaries

Shadow cast by NAZI experiments

https://www.timesofisrael.com/the-long-twisted-shadow-cast-by-nazi-medical-experiments/

Why the US government brought NAZI scientists to America postwar

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/why-us-government-brought-nazi-scientists-america-after-world-war-ii-180961110/

Ethics of using NAZI research

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190723-the-ethics-of-using-nazi-science

Absolutely evil medical experiments

https://www.livescience.com/13002-7-absolutely-evil-medical-experiments-tuskegee-syphilis.html

Unethical experiments conducted by the Government (US)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unethical_human_experimentation_in_the_United_States

10 most outrageous military experiments

https://www.livescience.com/12991-10-outrageous-military-experiments.html

Experiments on humans by US military

https://allthatsinteresting.com/human-experiments

Myth and reality of the supersoldier

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-55905354

Super soldiers may soon become a reality

https://www.sandboxx.us/blog/why-super-soldiers-may-soon-be-a-nightmare-turned-reality/

Vivisection

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vivisection

The psychological impact of torture

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4590125/

Lingering effects of torture

https://humanrights.ucdavis.edu/in_the_news/the-lingering-effects-of-torture

Among the many, many, shameful pieces of human history, there was a school of thought that other races than white were sub-species. Even in “science”, there were those promoting the theory even after it was soundly disproven. The NAZI’s weren’t the only group to look on groups of people as less than human and therefore not deserving of human rights and protections

Scientific racism

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/disturbing-resilience-scientific-racism-180972243/

Race as a social construct

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/race-is-a-social-construct-scientists-argue/

Trans-species perspective

https://nationalhumanitiescenter.org/on-the-human/2010/11/trans-species-perspective/

Dogs (and other animals) research and how and why selected

https://aavs.org/animals-science/animals-used/dogs/#:~:text=The%20most%20common%20breed%20of,using%20less%20space%20and%20money.

Jackson Pollock

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackson_Pollock

test

pfeifferpack — Sun, 31 Oct 2021 23:58:35 GMT

</a>

Eye of Eleos 78/

pfeifferpack — Tue, 10 Aug 2021 04:34:45 GMT

Episodes referenced and bits of dialogue used or sampled from:

Fear Itself (David Fury), Beer Bad (Tracey Forbes), Wild at Heart (Marti Noxon)

Chapter 78

“They’re all so bloody young!” Spike hadn’t really given much thought to the age of Buffy and her mates before. Seeing them playing dress-up and going off to a fright night to-do only seemed to emphasize how close to childhood they really were. It was nice to see them all so relaxed at least.

Harris cleaned up nicely in a tux and Spike had to chuckle at his reasoning having seen first hand the last time the group had dressed up only to become their costumes. “Not sure Little Red Riding Hood would be much of an improvement for my girl if it happened again. James Bond at least would be a step up from grunt soldier for the boy though.” Spike didn’t want to think about the implications of Oz taking on Godhood even for one night. “Least he’s not mercurial by nature off to smite us all.”

Spike frowned as he watched the group of soldiers ‘blending in’ with the costumed college kids as they hunted down more hapless demons. ‘Mostly the peaceable kind too.’ He regretted not having told Buffy all he remembered about his time in the labs. So many deaths and so much pain. ‘Didn’t expect them to give me sanctuary once I told all though.’ Of course, now Buffy was likely seeing it all for herself. No need to spill it all out for the others.

Since all this, he was now watching occurred only a month or so before the spell had started it was jarring to think of them all so young. “Buffy’s grown up since, but not the rest,” Spike considered. “Suppose I’ll need to remind myself that I’m dealin’ with tadpoles still no matter how adult they fancy themselves. Have to try takin’ the high road when they act like they’re still in the schoolyard. Rupert will understand the gravity of it all but it might not sink in with the others right away. Still young enough the world’s all black and white. Just demons down there after all.”

Harris was the biggest irritant. He had a bit of a mean streak and vicious tongue. “Serious hatred for all things demon too.” Spike chuckled, “Well… suppose not when it comes to the chits he fancies.” Even Dru was drawn to the lad when he’d done that botched love spell the first year they’d come to Sunnydale.

Now having watched events while observing his Slayer, he saw it wasn’t a one-off or side-effect of a spell gone wrong most of the time either. ‘Prayin’ mantis, mummified ancient Slayer.’ The only non-demon Xander had involved himself with was the cheerleader, and Spike half thought she might have a bit of some sort of man-eating demon in her family line.

Spike felt a twinge of regret for his part in bringing that mismatch to a premature end. ‘Was doomed, but had a bit of life left in it if the girl hadn’t walked into the factory at the right time. Should’ve just left the boy back at the school when I kidnapped Willow.’

Spike had been surprised when he’d witnessed the arrival of his newest bird and realized just how she’d flown in. ‘Bloody Vengeance Demon! Talk about going from the frying pan into the fire. True, demon-girl isn’t on active duty at the mo’ but Harris will have to mind his Ps and Qs in handlin’ that one!’

Spike shuddered a bit thinking about how often he’d heard the boy turn his condescending words on his new girlfriend. Constantly correcting her words and behavior in public and acting like she was an unruly mutt in need of training or a swap from a newspaper on her nose. “Girl might not have the power now or the self-confidence but still has the instincts and likely plenty of mates willin’ to do for her if the Xan-man goes too far over the line.”

Anya’s last time as a human was at a time when women were used to bad treatment but she was a smart bird. Wouldn’t take all that long to figure out that times have changed. Wouldn’t take much longer than that for her to resent being stepped on all the time by someone not even full-grown into adulthood himself.

If Spike were betting on it, he’d put all he had on a line being crossed sooner rather than later. ‘Always disrespectin’ the girl. Lucky for him she’s so insecure about fittin’ in as a human that she hasn’t snapped to it already.’ He wasn’t sure if he was looking forward to watching Xander Harris being put in his place or if he should try to head that off at the pass if possible. The part of him who was pretty sick of being on the receiving end of the boy’s caustic tongue was voting for just being an amused observer. ‘Still, Buffy cares about him…’

Spike couldn’t think of too many women who would put up with being silenced and corrected without resenting it eventually. ‘Maybe a word with Buffy and let her speak to Harris instead.’ Someone needed to nudge the twit away from his worst instincts before he woke up with a half-inch dick covered in warts or worse! Even if Harris was asking for it, that would only upset Buffy and make an enemy of Anya.

‘Demon girl could be a right asset if they’d just think about it. Lived a thousand years, been to dimensions none of them, even the Watcher, ever even heard of.’ Something else to think about in good time. “Buffy has resources going to waste. Could be the best set-up Slayer in history if they took advantage of what they have. Willow’s got a lot of power even if it’s not refined. Got the wolf with all his demon instincts but human thinkin’. Former demon with an encyclopedia full of knowledge and a real understandin’ of how the other half thinks. Got a decent Watcher when he gets his head out of his arse. Even the boy’s loyal as they come doesn’t back away from the fight even when he’s got nothin’ to bring to the game. Now she’s got me too. Could live to a ripe old age with a team like that. Just have to make them see it and stop with the willful blindness.”

Spike snorted again with amusement at Oz’s costume. ‘Might not be a bad thing to turn into for real for an hour or so, who knows what special memories and talents he could add to the mix.’ He laughed looking at the nametag identifying Oz as ‘God’. “And they call ME evil! That sort of blasphemy would get the lad run out of town or worse in my day!”

***

The magic vibes of the party house should have made all the hairs stand up on at least Willow’s arms. Any potential enemy could learn a lot about Buffy and her friends just seeing their fears play out. ‘Could turn it back on the lot of ‘em. Have ‘em fightin’ each other in a nonce. Someone could come in and play Yoko to the band, no trouble at all.’

Xander was suffering from a bad case of insecurity. Invisible and left behind literally as the demonic influence caused their fears to manifest. He wasn’t the most secure male on the planet, to begin with but being in the company of such extraordinary women made it even worse. ‘Got a super-powered friend, a genius who’s also a promisin’ witch for his two best friends.’ Even his male friend, Oz, had the allure of being a musician with all the cachet that went with that. All of them moving ahead with their lives, leaving Xander behind to flounder.

‘He sees it too. The rest going to Uni. Their world openin’ up for them. He’s livin’ in a hole under his parent's house and payin’ through the nose for the privilege of sharin’ space with the family’s laundry and cast off’s. Hasn’t the connections or education for more than a minimum wage pick-up jobs.’ Even his post high school version of the Grand Tour only took him as far as Oxnard.

Spike felt unaccustomed sympathy for the boy. He remembered a lad he’d employed as a clerk’s apprentice back in the days before he’d been turned who’d come from similar circumstances to Xander. Bad family with too much alcohol and violence and no prospects for his own future.

The boy had been cuffed hard enough to be dazed because he’s taken too long stoking the fire at the inn where he’d been employed when William first noticed him.

William stopped in the convenient inn several times for a pint and pie when working late and had paid little attention to the interactions of the staff to notice the innkeeper had little patience for the under-nourished boy.

The lad, Seamus McGann, was downright scrawny. Clearly not eating well or enough. He never spoke. Would’ve lost his position if he had, no doubt. Not hired to chat up the customers.

In honesty, William might not have involved himself if Seamus hadn’t cracked his skull on the wall when the innkeeper’s beefy fist connected with the side of the boy’s head. The coal from the scuttle dumped its contents on William's boots resulting in a stream of insults and threats directed at the boy from his employer.

The innkeeper was full of polite apologies to William and the other patrons. He didn’t want to lose their custom and offered to fire the clumsy boy for dirtying their fine clothes.

William had tried to assure the man that no harm had been done and had noticed as Seamus cowered from habit and scrambled to gather the spilled coals. He was clearly used to abuse and not just on the job.

William recognized how privileged his own life was by virtue of naught but an accident of birth. He also could see native intelligence in the ill-treated boy’s eyes.

He’d followed the now unemployed Seamus out of the inn after having pointed out to the innkeeper that berating those under him was unbecoming and that he would be giving his coin elsewhere in the future.

After a brief conversation with the lad, he’d offered him enough to get a bed at a doss house for a night or two and a bit of a meal. It was clear that the boy wasn’t comfortable with charity and William was moved by his pride and determination to make his way in the world and on his own two feet. So he made the gift a “loan” that he never intended to collect. He also took Seamus back to the office with him to introduce him to his Uncle and partner.

Within half an hour Seamus McGann found himself hired on at Pratt Shipping to apprentice as a clerk with board in the loft area over the main warehouse made available until he ’got his feet under him’.

Pratt never had a more loyal employee and his family still was found among the employees of the firm all these generations later.

“Maybe I should try to steer Harris a bit and set him on a decent path,” Spike opined. He couldn’t ship him off to Liverpool to work at Pratt of course, as appealing as that sounded at first thought. “Maybe see what sort of skills he has though. Encourage him a bit. No need for him to deliver pizza or scoop up ice cream until retirement age. He’s not an imbecile even if he’s not college material. No shame in that. Plenty of trades that don’t need Uni but provide nicely for a young man. Just needs a bit of direction and encouragement. Certainly not gettin’ any of that at home.”

Spike cringed remembering his evening tied in the Harris basement and listening to Xander’s folks rip into one another in their continuing alcohol-fueled drama. ‘Really needs out of that fouled nest.’

“I’m gonna need a place of my own once we sort out those vivisectionists under the university and their stormtroopers runnin’ all over Sunnydale. Maybe Harris could be tempered enough to consider being a roommate and get out of that hell-hole he calls home now.” If his hatred of all things demon kept him from it, at least Spike could convince Rupert to urge the boy to make the changes he needed to make to be something other than going further down the path he was on right now.

***

Spike was a bit surprised to see the red-headed witch with similar issues to her oldest friend. “Girl’s a right genius and knows it too. Even as arrogant as she can be, she’s still the social outcast at heart though.”

William knew that feeling well. ‘Thought being part of Buffy’s circle and havin’ a musician boyfriend might have helped some but seems she still has issues.’

The demonic influence in the house revealed both Willow’s arrogance and her insecurities. Also a bit of a competitive side where Buffy was concerned.

She wanted to use magic to conjure up a light to guide the lost group to safety and wasn’t too thrilled when Buffy didn’t jump to that solution.

“Conjuring… Wil, let’s be realistic here. Okay. Your basic spells are usually only fifty-fifty,” Buffy had tried to point out.

Willow’s back went up. “Oh yeah! Well… so’s your face!” She huffed while Buffy watched her stomp off.

“What does that even mean?” Buffy had no clue that she’d insulted her best friend.

Willow turned around, jaw set, “I am not your sidekick!” and with Oz trailing her, set off on her own.

“Quick to wantin’ to solve this mess with magic and a bit jealous of the Slayer there Red,” Spike noted. ‘Not likin’ playin’ backup as much anymore it seems.’ That wasn’t good. She was supposed to be Buffy’s friend and part of her team, not vying for leadership. ‘Could get out of hand easily if not nipped in the bud. Slayer’s the one with the power. The one with the final say. ‘Buffy’s the Chosen One, the rest are just her help, me included.’

When her wolf boy began to change even without the full moon and ran off Spike could hear Willow’s desperate plea for Oz not to leave her. “Still pretty needy even after her grab at leadership.”

Spike saw WIllow’s lost lamb look as her boyfriend ran off. It was a reaction that predicated her later response when he left for good. “Can’t complain about the effects of that spell she cast, and then this current one as well, but it could have gone very wrong. Just blind luck it’s all worked in our favor. Might not have without this latest spell though. Just the one that gave me a taste of Buffy could’ve just been frustratin’.” Spike shivered thinking about the trouble Willow could get into if she continued on the road she was on.

“Well, with Buffy and I comin’ out of this with clear eyes, maybe we can set a better course.”

Willow was quite a mix. Part adult, part wounded child. Partly over-confident and grasping for power and leadership and the other part terrified of being alone and outcast once more. She needed guidance even if someone had to force it on her. ‘Arrogance is bad enough but she’s got enough to fall over into hubris with ease and given her power that could make her a bigger danger than a whole host of big bad’s.’

Spike understood Oz running off. The quiet musician didn’t want to let that demon-wolf hurt those he loved. “That cool exterior was a nice front. Truth is the wolf demon’s in there clawin’ away even when not in charge. Oz may act like it’s no big issue but it seems like it really is and he knows it, fears it.” Spike understood why the young man had gone off to get control. He hoped that maybe they could explain it to Willow better and make her see that it wasn’t a rejection but an act of love.

“The whole lot of them got enough issues to keep a therapist in business for years,” Spike shook his head. “Even the Watcher practically telegraphs his. Drinkin’ in daylight and layin’ about in his flat. Poor example, that!” Ever since the Council had fired him and he’d lost his job as the high school librarian, Giles had been at loose ends. ‘With Buffy off playin’ free-agent with the slaying and no official position, Watcher’s got nothing to watch except the level in his bottle of single-malt and crappy television.’

“Middle-age crisis on steroids there. Next thing he’ll find a bit of fluff that’d make Harmony look choice, get himself a bright-colored penis mobile, maybe a tat or two,” he shook his head. “Bloody idiot has plenty of projects available with this lot. Blind, even now that Red’s spell’s ended.” Spike thought of all that Giles should be doing with his time. All that need right in front of him that he just didn’t see for all his wallowing in his own cesspool of insecurities.

“Really,” Spike huffed, “should be pickin’ demon girl's brain. Hell, even pickin’ mine! Could leave those tweed-clad dinosaurs in old Blighty in the dust with all the information he could be recordin’. Get us to go through the pile of books he’s always referrin’ to and sort the horseshite from the truth.”

He thought about Buffy and what Giles meant to her, not just as a father figure but in order to do her job as Slayer… stay alive. “Buffy needs him. Slayers always need a Watcher. The girl is meant to fight the fight. Needs a Watcher for the rest. All those scrolls and tomes in multiple languages that have the information she needs to do what she has to. Buffy butchers modern English for fuck’s sake! What’s she supposed to do with basic Latin much less Etruscan or Ano- Movic for that matter? Buffy never needed Rupes to teach her how to fight. Bloke’s too damned breakable to be useful even to spar. She does need his big squishy brain though. Even better once he gets his information sorted, weed out the utter rubbish.”

It wasn’t only Buffy who needed Giles though. All the infants did. “Like it or not, once Rupert let those Slayerettes hang about and muck around in the battle they became his responsibility too. Needs to get the witch on the right path and training. Need to deal with Harris… can spar with him at least if he’s going to let him show up for the fight.”

Spike remembered the surprise in seeing Ruperts Ripper past revealed when his old boyfriend came to town running from the demon they had unleashed when young and wild. “Knows well enough what comes of an adept with no guidance when it comes to magic. Willow’s a natural and has a lot of power.” Even after that ‘Will Be Done’ spell, the old man chose to ignore the responsibility.” Let her off for some bloody biscuits! Watcher needs a good talkin’ to and I’m just the demon to do it once this latest spell of Red’s over and done.”

Then there was his shining Slayer herself. All those abandonment issues were bad enough but she’d internalized them into a false mantra that whispered to her, ‘not enough. You’re not enough.’

Well, Spike already had the answer to that. He’d prove every day that she was more than enough and in time, she’d know there would be no getting rid of Spike short of dusting too.

As for demon-girl, “Well, not much I can do about her issues short of riddin’ the world of all the fluffers. Like rabbits too well to consider that. Sweet, harmless, creatures.” Spike laughed. Nope, Anya would just have to adjust to rodents of the cute variety sharing her world at the same time she got used to being human again.

***

It was anti-climatic seeing the demon who had caused all the excitement. Spike did get a laugh watching Buffy take it out with one good stomp though.

***

Watching Buffy devolve into a less voluptuous Raquel Welch in One Million Years BC was a hoot. The best part of that whole thing had been seeing his girl clout that Parker Wanker a couple of times with a club. ‘Deserved worse for hurtin’ my girl,’ Spike nodded as she knocked the git in the head the second time.

Spike knew he’d made many plans for things to do once the spell ended. He’d not have expected one of them to be making sure there could be a night of carousing with Buffy. “She’s just too cute when squiffy. Need to be there in person for that at least once!”

The part of him that was still very much William had also enjoyed seeing the pretentious louts who also devolved making right arses of themselves too. He had to give it to the barkeeper with his subtle revenge on the college boys who were far too full of their own importance and treated others as something on the bottom of their too-expensive shoes.

Spike became even more determined to find a way to help Harris after seeing him once more in a job beneath his abilities. He was impressed with how Xander had tried his best to look out for Buffy while she was well soused and vulnerable. He had a long list of complaints about the many faults of Xander Harris, but one thing Spike had to acknowledge is that the boy cared about Buffy beyond his unrequited crush. He could step up and act the friend, brother even, and Spike respected that.

***

Spike listened to the sub-par music that seemed to enthrall Oz as the gang hung at the Bronze.

“Veruca?” Spike giggled. “Who decides to call themself the name of a plantar wart? Hope her mum didn’t give her that name!” The music wasn’t terrible but not worth the intensity of the attention paid by Oz to the singer. “Gettin’ some definite demon vibes off that bint.”

He sighed and watched the gang and wondered just what he was supposed to learn from this vision. Then again, he remembered where he was at this same time and was pretty glad to be listening to the singer garble words instead of reliving that. “Hell, better seein’ what’s happenin’ out here in the free world instead of back in that hole.” He shuddered a bit knowing what Buffy must be seeing. “Better listinin’ to this shite than the screams and pleas of demons in agony.”

He’d glimpsed GhostlyBuffy across the quad as the commandos crept up to his other self. They didn’t have time for more than a look of yearning before they were separated once again. Spike getting the better end of things by watching the Scoobies at play while Buffy was getting a first-hand look at the inner workings of the Initiative.

He really had let down his guard. He’d been so angry over the loss of the ring and everything going tits-up in LA. Watching Buffy fight some inept fledge from the hill above the fight had transfixed him. He always had trouble noticing anything other than Buffy, especially when she fought.

He let his mind go back to that and tuned out the warbling attempt at sexual come-on passing for a song from the stage of the Bronze.

Buffy had made short work of the hapless vampire she was quipping with. “That’s it? That’s all I get? One lame-ass vamp with no appreciation for my painstakingly thought-out puns.” She was clearly still aching for a fight as she kicked at the dust that the vampire had left behind. “I mean, you could make a little effort here you know. Give me something to work with.”

Spike remembered itching to leap down and give her the fight she was looking for. “Watch your mouth little girl. You should know better than to tempt the fates that way. The Big Bad is back and this time…” His whispered threats were cut off by multiple taser hits that had to be stronger than the standard 50,000 volts used on humans.

Instead of giving Buffy what they were both wanting so badly, Spike found himself waking up to a nightmare. ‘No, rather not relive that, thank you very much,’ he thought with a shudder.

Instead, he wound up watching the gang further fracture, this time because of this female werewolf who had the more common reaction to her status of embracing that demon that gnawed at her insides instead of fighting to keep her humanity.

Yeah, much better to be watching the gang and listening to bad music than to revisit the Initiative. ‘Funny how it’s a bit like the way it always works. Terrible horrors goin’ on just out of view and life goes on like nothin’s wrong for most folks.’

***

Oz had been well-meaning but just didn’t seem to understand that Veruca didn’t want to be helped. Was more interested in helping herself… to Oz that is.

Buffy had tried to shore up Willow’s insecurities as her boyfriend orbited closer and closer to the howling wolf-girl. Of course, neither girl had a clue that they were dealing with the primal. Demon calling to demon. Not until it was too late.

It wasn’t until the real demon-bitch Walsh mentioned being chased by two “wild dogs” that Buffy got a clue and realized that Oz wasn’t the only werewolf in town.

“Wish wart-girl had made a meal of the mad scientist. Save me a world of hurt if she had.”

He watched as Buffy took the blame for the death of the vapid singer-cum-wolf. The commandos had gotten in the way, keeping her from being there in time.

“Not much Buffy could’ve done really. The bitch was plannin’ on doin’ in Willow. Oz turnin’ on her saved his girl’s life. Ugly business, but the only way it could have turned out since the other wolf was so set on liberatin’ Oz from his humanity.”

Still, his girl always blamed herself for every miss. Every person who died on her watch. “She should have been the one to dress as Joan of Arc at that party as much of a martyr as she is when it comes to her role as protector of the whole bleedin’ race.”

He watched Buffy try to comfort Willow when Oz made the choice to leave town to try to get better control of his demon. Nothing was really sinking in though.

“Hell, none of them can know how hard it is to keep control. To rule over somethin’ that powerful that’s inside all the time wantin’ to run the show.” Spike thought of the other demon they had a relationship with, the one with the soul. “Angelus never could control the demon in him. Hated seein’ me manage it even from the start. Guess they figure Oz havin’ a soul would make it easier like with Peaches. They don’t see that Angel barely has control even with the soul. Takes the desire. Takes rememberin’ what it is to be human. Takes wantin’ to hold on to those human bits. Oz can do it but not here. Too many distractions, too much guilt.”

Spike thought back to his fledgling days and had to admit to himself that one of the things that helped him wrest control of the demon was pure pig-headedness. Knowing that Angelus and Darla hated his human bits made him more determined to hold on to them. Knowing that he needed them to love Dru properly was important too but defying the elders was the biggest incentive. Wolf-boy didn’t have that here. He wasn’t like William either. He needed to find a place of peace to work on his control and he’d have none of that in Sunnydale.

“Boy did the best thing he could in leaving. Maybe not the way he did but the choice was sound.”

Spike was glad that his Buffy had learned what the others would have to learn once the spell was over. Spike was NOT Angel. He controlled his demon. He made the choices regarding how he went on in the world. He had no soul but he had control. Buffy had seen that. The others would too in time. They’d have to unlearn the crap Angel had fed them but they would learn.

The only good thing about the damned chip that was likely being implanted even as Spike was thinking and planning, was that it gave them a reason to let him close enough to teach them. They never seemed to notice all the times he didn’t go in for the kill with each of them when he didn’t even have the chip. “Suppose all that pain was worth it to let me in the door at least.”

Being close to humans as more than a meal had been good for William too, helped him regain that perspective that living as a demon needed to ignore in order to survive.

The fact they seemed to think Oz had a chance to regain that control would serve to help them believe what they had been ignoring where Spike was concerned. If not, well… he’d just have to make them see what they had been ignoring.

A/N:
Covert ops

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_operation

Fear and imagination

https://digelog.typepad.com/how_to_dance_with_the_ele/2013/08/fear-and-the-imagination.html

https://psychcentral.com/blog/intrusive-thoughts-when-having-a-great-imagination-seems-like-a-curse#1

Calming anxiety

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/ways-to-reduce-anxiety

Million Years BC trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSYmJur0Npw&ab_channel=Hammer

British terms for intoxication

https://www.thrillist.com/lifestyle/london/best-british-slang-euphemisms-for-intoxication

College drinking

https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-fact-sheets/college-drinking

College drinking stats and consequences

https://www.collegedrinkingprevention.gov/statistics/consequences.aspx

Super Soldiers

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/china-has-done-human-testing-create-biologically-enhanced-super-soldiers-n1249914

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYmUJo626dM

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-55905354

Voltage in a standard police taser

https://homex.com/ask/how-many-volts-is-a-police-taser

Werewolves

https://theconversation.com/the-ancient-origins-of-werewolves-104775

Eye of Eleos Chapter 77/

pfeifferpack — Fri, 02 Jul 2021 02:52:32 GMT

References to Btvs episode ‘Harsh Light of Day’ written by Jane Espenson and the Ats episode ‘In the Dark’ written by Douglas Petrie (with a pilfered line or two from his script).

Apologies for how long it has taken to get this chapter wrangled properly. Between RL and Characters simply refusing to do what I wanted it has been like herding cats! But the long Cat Drive is at an end and I have an update. Already working on the next chapter so I’m hoping it won’t be anywhere near as long a delay in updates the next time.

Again, much appreciation to all still reading and special love for all who take the time to comment.

Chapter 77

She saw him immediately. She’d been looking towards the door in anticipation having remembered this Frat party fairly well. While her in-time self was focused on the perfidious Parker, GhostBuffy had been on the lookout for her ghostly counterpart eagerly. It was plain that he was searching for her as well.

When she first experienced this encounter she remembered being both annoyed and amused seeing Spike with Harmony. Now, with her deep, real, and altered emotional reaction to all things Spike she felt the pull of the green-eyed monster. She hated thinking of him with Harmony Kendall at all.

“Ride for a ride? Really?” Ghost Buffy’s eyes crinkled with laughter. “THAT was your Harmony pick-up line?”

GhostySpike looked embarrassed. He’d forgotten just what he’d been up to that Buffy might have seen. Harmony Kendall had been a low point in his life. The memories gave him a basket filled with mixed feelings. The gentleman his mother had raised recognized his ill-treatment of the ditzy vampiress while the demon within knew her for what she was, and what she wasn’t, in the grand scheme of things.

“Was a bit sloshed and a lot desperate.”

“Uh-huh,” Buffy quirked a brow as effectively as Spike ever did. “The face plant into her boobs when you slid off the barstool kinda gave it away.”

Spike blinked, “Didn’t mean anything, not even to her. S’posed to be a one-night thing. Fair exchange, all up front and honest like.”

“Maybe should have let her know that was the plan ‘Blondie Bear, don’t ‘ya think?” Buffy teased. “Maybe you wouldn’t have had to try to shake her off over and over.”

“Poor daft cow was clueless. Didn’t even know how to properly hunt. No clue how she wasn’t dust already.” Spike sighed. “Gave her a ride home. Her folks loaded her bedroom stuff up and gave her a few quid to hold her over, no invite… they weren’t as thick as their offspring.”

“So is that what you were doing at this party? Teaching her to hunt?”

“Well,” he shrugged, “Yeah. Bird was too inept to survive long. Figured I’d teach her and maybe she’d sod off to France like she was always goin’ on about.”

“And…?”

“Well... And I’d kind of spilled the story about what I was plannin’ and either had to keep the fluff brain quiet till I got it or she got bored and left.” He rolled his eyes at his slightly younger self. “Got her cushy furniture tucked away in a cave and figured it was comfy enough to crash on till I got my shiny.”

“And how’d that work for you,” Buffy giggled.

Spike glared at her taunt. Buffy knew full well how it all went tits up between Harmony’s giving away their presence AND his quest.

“Too bad Harm didn’t target YOUR git. Save you a bit of hurt.” At Buffy’s scowl, he amended the snark quickly. “Didn’t eat the one we had there so need only have put the fear of … somethin’ in him if we had picked the Wanker.”

Spike knew full well his original reaction to this encounter. Both then and now he was jealous. Even being unaware of his own attraction to Buffy back then he knew that he hated seeing her making cow-eyes at the floppy-haired college boy. ‘First thought was that the Wanker wasn’t good enough for her.’

Buffy smirked. “Wouldn’t have stopped him. But… might have slowed him down enough for me to get off his radar.” She thought back to the predatory Frat boy who was carving notches in his bedpost like it was an intramural sport. “Nice STD might have done him some good. He should have had that mystical Chumash syphilis instead of Xan.”

“Prob’ly will wind up with somthin’ like that eventually,” Spike nodded. “Want me to hunt him down and play a bit once we’re back in the real world? Promise it’ll only hurt a little while.”

Buffy snorted. “Not worth the headache. Let’s leave him to Karma and maybe a bit of viscously spread but totally true gossip once I’m back on campus. Lots of hints about performance and size issues.”

“Be worth the bug zapper to make him piss himself too… maybe in front of one of his targets,” Spike offered again. Parker Abrams had hurt Buffy and that was not something Spike was willing to just forgive.

“I appreciate the thought, but ... no…” She remembered how hurt she’d been when she’d discovered how she’d been played. “Well, for now anyway. Keep that for the nuclear option.”

“Could act the part of the scorned lover. Longin’ looks at the Plonker in front of the girls. Make ‘em wonder a bit.”

“That might make him even more popular with some of the girls,” Buffy smiled. “Gay men are sometimes seen as a challenge. Is this your Victorian past showing up making some side-eye at gay guys?”

Spike looked affronted. “Hell no! Nothin’ wrong bein’ who you are. Vamps play a bit loose in sexual roles anyway. Should be proud of who you are regardless long as no one’s gettin’ hurt and everyone’s on board. Just know that to a bastard like that any question ‘bout his sexuality’d likely send him round the bend‘s all.”

The in-time pair had yet to run into one another but it was coming up soon. Time for the shades to be together was running short. It always seemed to move far too fast for either of them.

“So. How DID you get rid of Harmony?”

“Didn’t. She got rid of me. Came out of the labs and she didn’t fancy dealin’ with a neutered vamp. Had her ‘image’ and all. Fancied herself some kind of Queen of the Damned like in that book by that Rice Bint. More like Barbie Elvira”

Buffy felt anger on Spike’s behalf. True, he’d been less than loving towards the vapid vampiress but nonetheless, he didn’t deserve to be tossed out while unable to even feed with nowhere to go.

Buffy wondered at Spike’s luck. ‘He was probably not even surprised.’ How often had anyone lifted a finger to help Spike after he was turned? Dru mostly forgot about him when he was injured, especially when he was in the wheelchair. Spike seemed to accept that he just wasn’t worth anyone’s effort or care. ‘Well, I’m going to change THAT once we’re back to realtime,’ she vowed.

Buffy thought back to Thanksgiving and how he’d shown up at Giles’ place looking terrible and asking for help. ‘That had to be a real hit to his pride coming to his enemies that way. He was desperate and we all knew it too.’

She thought back in shame at how they had taunted him, made him wait for the blood he desperately needed . She remembered how he’d not gone into game-face even though he was obviously starved. True, he’d been obnoxious and overbearing as well but there was such a look of need on his face. ‘We never even really asked about what had happened to him. Just made fun of him for not being able to feed himself.’

“Sorry. Really sorry, Spike.”

“Whas’at?”

“For how we treated you on Thanksgiving and since then. With the making fun and the bullying and the chains in the tub.”

Spike looked gobsmacked. “Took me in. Couldn’t ask for more’n that. You lot did more for me than anyone else ever has.”

“We’re supposed to help those who are hurting.”

He still looked confused. “Didn’t expect the help I got. Figured at best I might get shelter long enough to make my escape from the ruddy soldiers after me, maybe get a bit of Wilbur passed my way.” He shrugged. “Also thought it possible you’d just do me proper… either option was better than gettin’ recaptured by the Gestapo.”

“Still,” Buffy insisted, “We’re the good guys. We shouldn’t bully someone who is already hurting. You really only got nasty when we started in on you.”

“I’ve been an annoyin’ prat. Took pleasure in it too.” He ducked his head and looked a bit ashamed.

“You’re a vampire. You’re expected to pull stupid stunts and say stupid things. Do whatever evil you can think of. We’re the white hats, we should have been better, done better.” She laid her hand on his arm. “We WILL do better. All that ends now.”

Spike’s eyes teared up as he realized she truly cared about his feelings. “Same here. Be a proper, decent, guest. Really am grateful even if I’ve gone out of my way to not show it.”

“Clean slate?”

Spike grinned and nodded. “Total blank.”

Buffy considered that he might be happier at her mom’s house once the spell broke. She knew that Joyce liked him well enough and there wouldn’t be even a hint of chains, much less bathtubs if he stayed there.

Their attention was taken by the ruckus their in-time selves were making as that Buffy discovered Spike and Harmony with a passed out ‘take-out-meal’ sagging between them.

“See you outside,” GhostBuffy grinned. “Got some more talky-time.”

***

Buffy smiled sweetly at Spike. It was wonderful to be able to share some of the things she’d only been able to think about until their too infrequent get-togethers. She was excited to realize that they might actually be getting to a place where their times together would be more frequent. ‘Actually getting close to catching up to real-time even,’ she thought excitedly.

“You know she gave you to me, don’t you?”

Spike looked puzzled at the seeming non sequitur. “Harm?”

“No, silly. Dru.”

“What do you mean?” Spike was still puzzled although less so than when he thought she meant the ditz he was saddled with at this point in time. “Where do you get that idea?”

“Well, besides her pretty much telling me?” Buffy laughed at his gobsmacked face. “Dru could see me, you know. From the start. Guess I was one of her many pixies. Anyway, she was always letting me know in words or dirty looks that you were still hers for the time.”

Spike was stunned.

“When she sent you away this last time though… she made sure I knew that she was letting go. That you were mine. I got the feeling she was doing it out of love, as much as she can anyway. Dru might not be able to love back properly but she recognizes it in you. She wants you to be loved the way you love and knows she can’t. She knew you’d never leave her unless she forced you to go and that you’d never get the love you deserved if you stayed.”

“Knew that last time was really the last. We’d parted before but it never felt like an end. Not till then.”

“I’d like to think of it as more of a beginning.”

.

***

Ghost Buffy waited for her Spike to show up knowing he would soon appear. She thought back to watching Spike and his team unearth the Gem of Amara.

Buffy had enjoyed watching Spike ordering his minion crew around at the dig. He really ran it quite professionally.

Harmony flitting about was the only aspect that seemed to get under his skin and deflect from the goal. ‘He really IS a goal-oriented vampire,’ Buffy mused.

The room filled with shiny goodies had made her gasp. ‘Idiot only took the ring? We are SO going to have to do something about that eventually. At least that sinkhole will make finding the place easier. Mom’s freakage will be epic when she sees some of that stuff. Could be bye-bye College loan right there. Serious shoe shopping too.’

High School Buffy couldn’t help but understand the urge that led Spike to ram a stake in Harmony. ‘If it’s not unicorns it’s Paris,’ Buffy shook her head. ‘Two thoughts at one time. That has to be a record for Harm.’

Still, the stake had managed to single out the prize rather effectively.

Spike telling Harmony she could help herself made the attempted dusting all better to the vapid vampiress as Spike slid the ring on his finger and left her to it.

Buffy was pretty sure Harmony wouldn’t bother to take too much. There was plenty to go around and it looked too much like hard work for the former mean girl to try to haul out all the loot. Plenty enough to get her to Europe with just a few items really.

***

And there he was! Freckle-curious-Spike had caught depresso-Buffy off-guard, but this Buffy was ready and waiting.

“You really were quite the Indiana Jones,” Buffy teased. “Should have figured if anyone could dig up a legend it would be you. You managed to hunt down the things you needed to cure Dru back when we first met after all.”

“Had it in my head that if I found the bloody ring I could finally take you on, get you out of my system once and for all.” Spike looked sheepish and would have blushed if it were physically possible. “Lying to myself, ‘o course. Shouldda realized what was really happenin’ when I didn’t just take you out then.”

The pair glanced at the daylight fight their past selves were engaged in. Buffy obviously didn’t have her head or heart in the fight even as Spike taunted and goaded her.

GhostSpike shook his head in disappointment. “Was really lookin’ for a proper dust-up or dustin’ in that fight but you were already beaten down ‘cause of that Nancy bloke who toyed with you and then ditched you.” He sighed. “Glad neither of us did die, but fightin’ you at your best is still one of life’s pleasures. Felt cheated.”

“Sorry?” GhostBuffy gave him a lopsided grin.

“Have to admit most of my problem was jealousy. Hated that some boy had you and tossed you aside while you wouldn’t even give me a black eye and busted nose much less the time-of-day.”

“Are you saying that was just one weird vampire version of pulling my pigtails because you liked me?” she giggled.

“Kinda. Not too mature for over a century I suppose.” Spike smirked a bit. “Know now that I already loved you, just didn’t want to know it then. Came out in violence. Vampires get those two things mixed up even on a good day actually.”

Buffy just rolled her eyes and chuckled. He wasn’t telling her a thing she didn’t already know.

“Still can’t believe you gave my ring to that Wanker!” he pouted.

“Me either now that I’ve grown up a bit and had time to see how he really is. What was I thinking?! It might have made him happy enough to send his soul back to wherever and unleash Angelus with the ring of power! HE wouldn’t be looking to see if he freckled. Wouldn’t be ‘looking for a fair fight’ and ‘unhappy if he didn’t get it’ either. He’d do something sneaky and all stalkery.”

“Wouldn’t have lost his soul. Nothin’ to give him a perfect happy. Likely never lose it that way again.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Spent some time mullin’ over that whole ‘perfect happy’ clause while stuck in that wheelchair watchin’ Angelus takin’ my woman and plannin’ on total destruction of everything else.”

“And?”

“The key word is perfect, Pet.” Spike drew in a deep breath and prepared to share his conclusions with Buffy on the issue. “See, we all have different things that make us happy. Has a lot to do with our character for one thing. Some folks are happy with very little. Others never seem to get enough. Now Angel will try to tell you that he’s not the same bloke as Angelus, like they’re separate beings all playin’ roommates with that body and brain but that’s a lie.

“Same bloody bastard at his core.” He let out a huff of disgust. “Don’t mean there’s not a difference. All of us have different aspects to our personality, facets… don’t make us some multi-personality nutters’ like that poor Sybil Bint. Way I figure it, to be perfectly happy all of his bits and bobs had to be happy, and that’s not easy to do with the nasty demon in him and a guilt-ridden soul also on board.”

“So bully for me? I managed it… how?”

“Well, the soul came from Liam. He wasn’t much of a man, barely capable of love but at least had the basic human desires in him. The soul loved you best as he could, selfish prat that he is. When you loved him back… well. You were everything he always fancied. Young, sweet, beautiful, innocent. Kinda lass he had to coerce back in the day but there you were offerin’ him your heart and body. Perfect happy for the soul.”

Buffy nodded but looked a bit unsure still. “Okaaaay but the demon sure didn’t love me, didn’t want me.”

“Not true. The demon did care and hated that you made him care. No humanity in Angelus’ demon, even the Judge proved that. BUT you could and did make the bugger perfectly happy too. See the demon got what made it happy too. Corruptin’ the virginal, pure livin’ embodiment of good. The Slayer. The Champion of the Powers. Even more of a prize than Dru was and she was a saintly chit before he got her. Probably only woman might be a bigger prize to the bastard wouldda been the Virgin Mary. There you were… all that was pure and uncorrupted and you were laid out for his takin’.”

Buffy shuddered. Spike’s logic made a sort of macabre sense.

“So not just the soul was perfectly happy but the demon too, ergo that perfect happiness that broke the curse. Like one of those perfect storms that are so rare they might as well not exist, or one of Harm’s unicorns. Had to make both the soul and the demon happy and they don’t have the same criteria usually… not till you. Don’t think there is anyone or anything ever going to appeal in that perfect way to both ever again.”

“What about if we’d gotten together again?”

Spike shrugged. “Not certain, but I doubt the soul would have gone walkies. Demon wouldn’t have any perfect happiness seeing you as already corrupted. No. No swivin’ the soul out of gramps now. Everything had to be just so to make it perfect enough for the soul to go. Had to be you, and had to be the way you were then, not the grown-up version.”

Buffy knew what would give HER perfect happiness in that moment but knew the spell had to run its course. She was grateful they were able to touch at all even if it lacked the full substance that they would have once they regained their bodies.

Being able to touch, however lightly, and kiss, was wonderful but did more to stoke the fires of desire for the full feeling only a corporeal body could offer.

They did kiss, the whisper of a promise for the more that they both yearned to experience. Each time they found themselves together they were drawn to one another like starved creatures presented with a feast. Still, it didn’t fully satisfy either of them.

‘Havin’ but not is a form of hell,’ Spike had decided. ‘Just as well maybe since these jumps can pull us apart at any time.’

He could feel that time drawing near even as the thought crossed his mind. “Pet, you’re not gonna like the next show you get in the whole Spike memory lane trip. Want you to remember that I’d do it all different now.”

“Well, same here. The past is past and we can’t undo it.” She let her lips move over his softly and savored the kiss that hinted at so much better to come. “For one thing, I’d have kept that ring somewhere secure instead of sending it to the wrong guy.” She rolled her eyes remembering her choice to send it to Angel, thinking him such a hero at the time.

“Couldn’t let you have it… not then, but Angel was a bad choice and I have NO idea why Giles didn’t put up a fuss. I mean, it didn’t even cross my mind that magic that would make a vampire invincible might be a disaster if Angel ever lost his soul again. Think I’ll have to take a trip to LA and get it back before someone or something gives him another perfect moment. Who knows, he might find some saint or nun or something and poof!”

“Well, he always did fancy the Sisters. But, wasted trip, Love. Wanker smashed the gem.”

“What! Why the hell would he do that? I mean I guess I’m glad he doesn’t have access to the power but really… It was meant to help fight the good fight.”

“To be fair, don’t think that was the purpose of the ring originally but can see it bein’ helpful. Too late though.”

“He could have just sent it back,” Buffy pouted.

“Likely didn’t trust himself. Plays a good game about bein’ so righteous with that soul but deep down he knows himself.”

The fighting versions of the pair were finally actually having a decent brawl and the ghostly version knew their time together was getting close to an end and once Buffy pulled the ring from Spike’s finger they would part once more. There was the consolation of knowing they’d meet in the flesh before too long and have all the time in the world.

“Not gonna like what you see even after I get back to Sunnyhell but for a different reason. Never told you lot ‘bout all that went on in those labs. You all seemed to think there was nothing wrong with the whole thing, just a bunch of demons after all. Gave me enough grief about the chip, could imagine what some of you might have said if you knew the whole of it.”

Buffy worried about just what he meant by that and shuddered knowing she’d be seeing soon enough.

“Seriously, once this spell is over we have to take down the Initiative. Top of the to-do list. It’s one thing for me to kill dangerous demons. It’s my calling and it’s not like the police and jails can handle the kind of evil they get up to. What you’re hinting at going on there … that’s not keeping a moral balance, that’s the kind of wrong the NAZIs did. Evil is evil no matter who is doing it and we’ll need to figure out how to best deal with them since they’re humans and I can’t just slay them.”

“We’ll get it sorted, love,” he pulled her into a tight embrace.

“I haven’t seen it yet but … “ she pulled his head down and kissed him tenderly, “I’m so sorry you suffered. We’ll fix it.”

Spike gave her a half-grin. “‘M okay now. Had a big-hearted enemy take me in, keep me safe. Helped me get stronger while I sorted out the permanent changes. ‘Sides, not my first-time gettin’ tortured. Angelus could give ‘em pointers.” He snuggled closer enjoying her compassion. “Brought me to you. Brought us to this spell. Reckon it was worth it in the long run. Gave me a quick course in relearnin’ Being Human 101.”

Buffy frowned, “That doesn’t make it okay.” She’d already figured out that the experiments going on were more on the lines of torture even before Spike suggested it. “It makes it worse! They are humans with souls. They should have an easier time seeing how wrong what they’re doing is. Torture shouldn’t happen, not humans in a lab, not anyone trying to get information from somebody, and not with Angelus either.”

Spike cringed a bit remembering the next scene Buffy would most likely be watching. He rarely indulged in torture knowing it was not a reliable method of information gathering. He’d rarely indulged in it himself, at least the doling out part.. Besides he’d never been one to enjoy the pre-show from any angle. He’d hired someone to do the actual hands-on dirty work, and who he chose was likely to piss off Buffy too. He hoped her newfound empathy would hold.

***

Buffy giggled as she watched Spike mimic Angel. ‘No wonder he gets under Angel’s skin if he turns that sarcasm on him face-to-face.’

Spike smoked and glared down at the would-be hero in the alley.

‘What is it with Angel and alleys? Wonder if he’ll give this girl a cross necklace along with his vague warnings or if I was just special.’ It WAS nice to see that Angel had finally become proactive in helping the innocent at last. He’d done precious little of it in Sunnydale.

‘Big fluffy puppy with bad teeth,’ she snorted. Spike really was cracking her up with his monologue. He was really on a roll. Buffy wondered if she could look at Angel behind the wheel of a car again without thinking of it as an ‘Angelmobile’ after this.

***

Angel gave Spike a disgusted look. “Might as well go home, Spike. The gem of Amara stays with me.”

“Why? Because you are a vampire detective now? What’s next…vampire Cowboy? Vampire fireman? … OH! Vampire ballerina!” Spike snarked.

Angel made some small attempt at a joke about having the legs for it as the two fought over the ring. None of Angel’s quips came close to being as funny as Spike’s though. Spike was getting the better of Angel in the fight too until backup in the form of Cordy and some Irish guy showed up.

Spike put on his most charming face and smiled at Cordy ingratiatingly. “Cordelia, you look smashing. Did you lose weight?” It managed to distract the girl for a moment. Just long enough for Spike to make a clean getaway.

Buffy laughed. “Flattery works on her every single time.”

***

She watched Spike lure Angel into yet another alley. Having a bit of a snack on a random woman in the area Spike had seen Angel patrolling had worked like a charm. The creepy vampire Spike had hired to help him retrieve the ring took the detective by surprise. ‘Does Angel just not sense other vampires?’ Buffy wondered. ‘He should have known it was a trap. Some detective!’

Spike looked grim as he watched as his helper hogtied Angel, “I may be a slow learner, but I eventually do learn.”

“Yes,” Buffy nodded. “All the worst evil you ever did you learned from him. Didn’t indulge much after he left you though.”

***

“Well, I know why Spike was nervous about me watching this. Not sure if I need to lecture him about torture when I see him next time or not. I’ve got a feeling he got the message loud and clear. Not like it’s his usual style anyway.”

Given how many times Buffy had witnessed Angelus relishing the torture he visited on William in their early history, she didn’t have as much sympathy as she might have otherwise. Actually, Angel got off fairly easy all things considered. Some pokers and hanging from chains all set to classical music were nothing on the broken bones, internal injuries, and starvation that Angelus used to employ to perfection.

“Spike never did learn the lessons Angelus tried to teach when it came to inflicting pain and enjoying it. He could do it, just didn’t want to.” She could see that Spike was impatient to have Angel just give up the whereabouts of the ring to get it all over with quickly. Angelus would have enjoyed it taking a nice long time.

She listened as Spike demanded the ring and taunted Angel as Marcus shoved in another poker. “HEY!” she glared in indignation. Buffy was going to have something to say to Spike about that ‘Slutty the Vampire Slayer’ crack though even if she didn’t give him grief over the torture-for-hire. “THAT part is going to cost you at least a new pair of boots and plenty of groveling, mister,” she promised her missing Spike.

Buffy also noticed how Spike left the other vampire to his work instead of just staying to watch and savor. “Really isn’t into this part of being the Big Bad.” But she already knew that. She knew just what sort of vampire… sort of man… her Spike was by now.

Instead, he trashed Angel’s apartment while looking for the ring to no avail. She had to smile watching him gleefully vandalize even when there was no point to it. All the ruckus managed to alert Angel’s team who were waiting for him when his search moved upstairs to the office.

He managed to talk his way out of the Angel Investigations office by dangling Angel’s whereabouts in return for the ring. He’d let Angel’s people find the bloody thing for him.

Cordy didn’t even use her crossbow. ‘Or fall for more flattery,’ Buffy conceded. She was impressed with her old friend’s slight character growth.

***

Marcus, the hired vampire, had been methodical and Angel had clearly suffered but his team and Oz came to the rescue in the end.

The ring was offered up in exchange for Angel only to have Oz and his van keep it from Spike’s eager hands. It felt slightly anti-climactic.

Strangely enough, and much to Buffy’s satisfaction, not one of them even tried to dust Spike as Marcus scurried out with the prize. Spike had to put out a couple of flames from the sunlight that had filtered in, hitting him just right to ignite his hair, but no one even seriously tried to end him.

‘Interesting that Angel just let Spike leave after all that.’ Buffy thought once again about how Angel never seemed to consider ridding the world of his offspring even as he talked about how dangerous Dru and Spike were, how many they killed. The soul didn’t stretch to dusting his own. ‘Guess in his own weird way he cares about his family even if he treats them like crap.’

***

She watched as Spike glowered at Angel as the bigger vampire destroyed the ring. Once more Angel didn’t seem to sense his grandchilde in the area as he smashed the gem to bits. Buffy rolled her eyes at how oblivious Angel was about so many things, not the least being unaware of potential danger. “Guess he wasn’t just inept in ‘helping’ me, he just was inadequate. Hope he gets better with the skillage or he won’t last long with his new venture.”

Spike clambered into the DeSoto and raced back towards Sunnydale.

“Oh, Spike! Glad as I am that you did come back, you would have been so much better off just going somewhere else to cool off for a bit. You’re like a homing pigeon where Sunnydale is concerned. But, I guess we both know that it’s me by now and not the Hellmouth.” She had to smile knowing the real reason he kept coming back was that she already had his heart.

“Every other man in my life has gone running even my own dad. Spike… he always comes back,” she nodded in satisfaction. It was going to be bad for him in those labs and hard to watch. Knowing he survived and came to her gave her the courage for what was to come next.

A/N:
Yup, I know that in canon we did NOT see Spike watch Angel destroy the ring. I made that one tiny change to canon because I wanted a reason for Spike to have told Buffy the fate of the Gem. That will mean a slight tweak in the next chapter but the canon alterations are very minor.

In canon Spike is angrily stalking Buffy when he’s captured. But it makes no sense he would have left LA if he still thought the ring was there. Being so angry makes sense if he knows all his hard work was for nothing with the ring destroyed and being angry at the Slayer who sent the ring to Angel makes sense then.

What to do if you find treasure

https://www.usgoldbureau.com/news/what-to-do-if-you-find-treasure#:~:text=Don't%20treasure%20hunt%20on,anything%20over%20100%20years%20old.

Is finders-keepers a real thing

https://www.vice.com/en/article/3azyx8/who-keeps-buried-treasure-found

California and finders-keepers

https://time.com/10118/california-gold-coins-finders-keepers-john-mary/

https://blogs.findlaw.com/law_and_life/2015/04/if-i-find-treasure-can-i-keep-it.html

Signs they are attracted to you (and vice/versa)

https://krisgage.medium.com/signs-theyre-attracted-to-you-8cdd47019f14

On the male brain (stumbled on this while looking for something else but informative)

https://www.livescience.com/14422-10-facts-male-brains.html

Aggressive behavior not as attractive as males believe

https://psmag.com/social-justice/aggression-not-as-attractive-as-men-believe-3495

Sybil

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirley_Ardell_Mason

Dissociative Identity Disorder

https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Dissociative-Disorders

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder

Why torture does NOT work (except as a plot device) in spite of what TV/ Books/ etc. might try to tell us

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5198758/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-interrogated-brain/201603/why-torture-doesnt-work

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/we-rsquo-ve-known-for-400-years-that-torture-doesn-rsquo-t-work/

https://mythcreants.com/blog/stories-need-to-stop-promoting-torture/

Eye of Eleos 76/

pfeifferpack — Fri, 07 May 2021 03:25:26 GMT

Events from the first two episodes of S4 are referred to. The Freshman, written by Joss Whedon, and Living Conditions, written by Marti Noxon

Chapter 76

“I’m going to have to have Spike take me on one of these one day. Maybe when Faith gets out of that coma and we get her de-clawed she can take over for a few weeks,” GhostBuffy sighed wistfully.

The quarters on the container ship were much nicer than she’d expected and very private. “Even has its own little deck. Would be perfect for moonlight fun with my hot vampire.” Even a short trip would be wonderful.

The ship was heavy, even before all the cargo had been packed tightly in place so it sailed so smoothly that except for the occasional choppy seas, it was a dream. “Pratt Shipping builds a great product.”

Once again Buffy felt filled with pride in Spike and his previously hidden talents. His continued concern to have his father’s legacy live on brought a smile. “I know he thinks he’s a disappointment to his parents with all the vampire stuff. The lifestyle and killing probably would horrify them but my guess is that they’re at least proud of the parts of William he lets out even now. More of William in him than he knows too. Darla and Angelus tried to torture it out of him, but really it only went undercover. Plenty still in there.”

So much to impress her about this vampire of hers! Not only the bits of human but the demon too. “Sure. It still is violent, loves chaos, and brawls. More than willing to take a life to feed too.” But it was not as single-minded about evil as many demons she’d met.

“I don’t know if all vampire demons can love but his sure can.” He’d loved Dru without question. Loved Anne, ‘That wasn’t just the recently murdered William there. The demon was on board with trying to cure her and make her a traveling companion.’

Spike had also loved Angelus and even Darla in the early years. “Fucked up kind of love since they were anything but nice to him but the demon saw them as family. One thing Spike… all of him… loves is his family.”

The demon also was better able to reason than many she’d seen. ‘Maybe it’s just Spike has better control than most?’ Spike controlled his appetites, all of them. She’d rarely seen him totally lose it.

“Yeah, even the demon parts of him have good points, lots of them.”

***

The ship docked at the Port in Oakland and Spike waited to debark until the sun took its nightly dip into the Pacific.

“Wonder if I can talk Spike into having one of these babies named for me? The SS Buffy has a nice ring to it. Maybe just SS Slayer would be better though. Wouldn’t want the other ships to pick on her, call her silly, for her name after all.”

Spike gathered his gear and strolled down the gangway ready to find a fresh meal for a change after the long journey with his bagged dinners.

The short cab ride to the Golden Gate City itself wasn’t too long and places were still open and active. Buffy was amused that Spike’s hunger was as much for a big serving of Gan Guo and a couple of bottles of Tsingtao at a cozy Chinese restaurant in Chinatown as it was for the quartet of tourists who ‘donated’ enough blood to satisfy the demon without draining them.

The server at the restaurant had tried to talk Spike out of his selection, warning that it was likely too hot for his palate. Spike had laughed then enjoyed watching her face as his side order of Tien Tsin peppers disappeared without him breaking a sweat. Buffy was fairly certain he’d left a lasting impression.

After Spike was sated, Buffy followed as he took in the beauty of the city on the bay and giggled as he started softly singing. It was a near-perfect imitation of Tony Bennet’s ‘I Left My Heart In San Francisco’, one of her mom’s favorite songs. He had such a lovely voice when he was actually singing instead of the strangled cat noises of the Punk songs he usually favored.

He took a room in the Castro, flirting a bit with a couple of pretty, pretty, boys he was sizing up for breakfast in the morning if they were up and about. Spike had learned long ago that gay men were as susceptible to his charms as the ladies were and usually not as skittish when the fangs came out to play.

Once he was settled he checked with the storage unit he’d had his black baby shipped to while on the voyage back to California. The demon car transportation service from Caracas hadn’t been cheap but it was reliable and he knew his baby had been in good hands. Then again the demons who ran the company and supplied the drivers knew what the fate of anyone who damaged William the Bloody’s prize vehicle would be. She’d be gassed up and ready to hit the road to Sunnydale whenever he was ready to head out the next day.

“Might stay a night or two. Get my land legs back before headin’ to the Hellmouth.” Sunnydale had been the site of many an ass-kicking in his time there. This time he had grand plans to turn it all around but also knew the Slayer was the Joker in the deck.

“Got no plan to kill the pun-queen, just a glorious dance in the sunlight s’all.” There was no way in the world he would kill Buffy and leave Joyce to grieve. That didn’t mean he wasn’t aching for a truly spectacular full-out fight. “Show the chit all I’ve been holdin’ back.” Surely Joyce could forgive a few broken bones and bruises if it came from a fair fight.

GhostBuffy was startled. “So he didn’t plan to kill me once he got the gem! It did seem too easy. I was so in my poor-me-wallow mood he could have killed me easily. Had me pinned more than once. The only reason he got a decent fight out of me is because he goaded me with all those taunts. Guess I wasn’t fulfilling his fantasy for that glorious dance,” she giggled. Really seeing things from this other perspective was enlightening as well as entertaining.

“Pretty sure mom would have gotten out her ax anyway if he had broken anything. She likes him but I’m her baby after all. Stupid vampire.” she rolled her eyes and let out a huff of laughter. “Must be one of those human subtleties the doofus can’t work out without a soul. Hurt me and mom won’t care how fair the fight is or if he didn’t intend to kill me.” She made a mental note to remember that Spike might need some help with the subtleties. Humans and vampires didn’t see things quite the same way. He was smart but not used to thinking about things from a completely human perspective.

***

“Fog here in San Fran reminds me a bit of my old London days, well… without all the coal pollution in it,” Spike noted as he tossed his bags into the backseat of his car ready to head back to the Hellmouth and a certain ring. Fog wasn’t uncommon in the bay area but it was fairly thick and late in the day which only helped a traveling vampire in the end.

The trip southward towards Sunnydale via Highway 101 was scenic and largely uneventful. Buffy would have enjoyed it a lot more if it had been in daylight but for once Spike was being a sensible vampire and driving at night. The fog had broken up once they got further from San Francisco.

The coast was so lovely but it wasn’t really possible to enjoy ocean views when everything was that dark. At least Spike had removed the black coating on the windows! They’d been on the road for a couple of hours and Spike was bellowing along to his favorite Ramones tape so Buffy was not without amusement. ‘He really is a funny kind of vampire.’

They were almost halfway to Sunnydale when the rear tire blew. Luckily Spike’s reflexes were topnotch and they got to the side of the road safely. Not so luckily, there was no spare tire in the boot. It seemed the car transportation company was going to get an earful about replacing things like that when used!

While the car was being seen to, Spike ambled over to the nearest tavern, if one could call it that. San Ardo didn’t have much going for it, all oil fields and some agriculture but the few residents did need someplace to drink away their miseries. Any hole-in-the-wall was fine with Spike as long as they had something alcoholic to take the edge off of waiting.

Spike ordered a beer and eased down on the barstool. “So, not much going on in town to cut into your business,” he snarked, noting the small place about half-full. Not even a pool table to offer a bit of entertainment. The Jukebox whined out a country selection from the 1980s that everyone seemed happy to ignore.

“Well there’s bingo over at Our Lady of Ransom if you’ve a mind for something more sociable,” the barkeeper returned with equal snark. “You don’t look the type to be too interested though.”

Spike laughed. “Got that in one!” He sighed and hoped the bloody tire repair blokes were quick so he could be back on the 101 and away from the smell of oil, lettuce, and hay that reeked in the air even indoors.

“Passing through?” The barkeeper held up a hand to stop a reply, “Stupid question. Of course you are.”

“Flat and no spare.”

The bartender set another mug in front of a grateful Spike, “Here, figure you might need a second as slow as Cletus usually is. Does a good job though.”

Spike groaned as the bartender went on to serve a regular at the end of the bar.

“Hey!” The vapid blonde sidled up to Spike and took a seat next to him. “I know you! Well, don’t know you… yet,” she batted her eyelashes in an attempt at flirtation that likely worked on plenty of Highschool jocks over the years. “I remember you though. Sunnydale High! Go Razorbacks!”

Buffy’s mouth gaped. “You have GOT to be kidding me!”

“And?” Sike wasn’t really interested in anything beyond getting the De Soto back on the road but if this bit of fluff was looking for a quick tumble… well no one could say ole’ Spike wasn’t a gentleman enough to give a lady… or a dozy cow… what she was craving.

“You’re the vampire who led that army and tots ruined parent-teacher night for Buffy the vampire layer,” the girl’s lip curled in disgust at the name. “Snyder was mega-pissed at all the broken stuff, oh… and the dead teacher he had to replace.”

Her voice wasn’t too loud but Spike shifted nervously as he looked around to see if her words had drawn any attention. Bimbo using words like 'vampire' and 'dead teachers' didn’t bode well.

“That where you’re from?” Spike took a sip of his beer after seeing that no one was paying any attention.

“Well, can’t help being born in a dumpy nothing town like Sunnydale,” she shrugged. “Then again, this place makes SunnyD look almost like Paris in comparison.” She shuddered. “Um… sorry if this is your hometown and all. Like double sorry if it is.”

Spike raised his eyebrow and gave her a full-on look finally. ‘Nice tits and nothin’ between the ears. Probably a fledge too goin’ by the lack of power comin’ off of her. Think the lack of smarts was there from before.’

He grinned. Didn’t need brains for a quick release of sexual tension after all. Been a long while since he’d had a date with something more than his left hand.

“Do I look or sound like someone from this bloody, disgustin’, smellin’ pile of shite called a town?”

“Um…” The vampiress scrunched her face in thought and Spike hoped she didn’t hurt herself too badly at the attempt. She giggled. “No! Hey, you must be from Australia or maybe Canada. One of those places still ruled by Queen Elizabeth the first.”

‘Yeah, regular brain trust. No historian or Henry Higgins. Not even up on current events for that matter.’ He took a long drink noting the girl fixate on his throat as he swallowed. It was obvious she was more than willing to take care of any possible need Spike might have. ‘Well, not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. Girl’s not unattractive and one tumble might be just what the doctor ordered.’

He did tune out her constant chatter for the most part. ‘Maybe keep her mouth busy in other ways. Yeah, I can make this work,’

“... so Charlie totally lied to me! Made me think he was some big, rich, oil company owner with all his talk about Chevron. Got me to come to this nothing berg. THEN he dumps me like I’m just some girl he picked up! Can you believe it?” She pouted. “I mean. Not just every guy gets lucky with me! I have standards.”

If she rambled on like this to Charlie, Spike could WELL believe it. Just a few minutes in and he was starting to think his left hand wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Chit was like fingernails on a chalkboard and no sense at all that Spike could tell.

‘Wonder if she even knows how to hunt?’ He had a moment of pity for her until he tuned back into her monologue.

“... so I woke up all dead, or undead, whatev’s. Who knew there were vampires anyway?” She looked at Spike and smiled, “Well, you… duh. But really? Just because lame-O Buffy and her geek squad told us all when she put us in her army against the snake Mayor… I mean, isn’t that illegal or something? Not the snake Mayor, that was kind of cool in a scary way and he’s a Mayor and all so he could do what he liked. But drafting even the cool kids into fighting HER battle? I mean, major uncool, right?”

She didn’t wait for an answer. It wasn’t likely she ever needed any voice but her own to make her happy.

“Anyway, know my first thought?” She looked at Spike and tried playing the coquette again.

‘Why any sane vampire would turn you?’ Spike figured that SHOULD have been her first thought if she was at all self-aware but kept that thought to himself ‘cause he still planned to get laid later. “Why don’t you tell me.”

“UNICORNS!” Her whole face brightened like a kid at Christmas. “I mean, if vamps and snake monsters are real, I’ll bet there are actual unicorns out there somewhere!” Her eyes glazed over in bliss at the thought.

Spike choked on his beer. ‘Bint gets turned and her FIRST thought is mythological horned horses that only cozy up to virgins? Bet this one hasn’t been a unicorn magnet since she became a teen.’

“Isn’t that a cool thought? Just imagine how rad it would be to ride a real live unicorn!” She looked ready to weep at the prospect.

“Don’t reckon you’d get close enough to ride one, pet.”

“Oh, I tots could,” she enthused. “I’m like their number one fan. They’d have to see how much it would mean to me. I’ll bet there’d be a whole herd to pick from.”

“And where do you think these magic steeds are hidin’? Not easy to hide even if it’s just one not a herd. Big beasties.”

The girl lit up, “OH! You’ve seen one?”

“Not as such. Have enough of these,” he nodded to his nearly empty pint, “Might see all kinds of creatures though.”

The girl had a truly annoying giggle, ‘Right. Rule number one. Don’t let her talk. Rule number two, don’t make the chit laugh. Just in, out, and on my way.’

“So I’m thinking they probably live in old forests like in fairy tales. Probably ancient places like around Paris. That’s one reason I was so excited to hook up with Charlie. Now that I can’t use daddy’s credit card I figured a rich oil guy could take me.” She pouted once more. “I’m going there as soon as I can find someone to take me though. I mean Paris would be cool by itself with all the stores. Like a big mall only high-end, yeah? But if there are unicorns in the forests nearby…” her mouth nearly drooled at the prospect.

“None there when I was last in France, pet. Sorry.”

“Well, you’re a guy. Of course, they wouldn’t show themselves to you. You have to be a beautiful princess and stuff to attract them. I know ALL about unicorns.”

The vampiress leaped from her barstool and grasped Spike’s arm. “Wait! You’ve been to Paris? Maybe like you could take me. Not to unicorn hunt though, a manly guy like you’d be sure to scare them away. But we could have plenty of fun otherwise.”

***

Fun was had. “Well not for me,” Buffy huffed. “And can a girl get a gallon of bleach around here?” She lifted her eyes to the heavens in supplication.

Buffy cringed for both of them. Spike for his attracting Harmony Kendall and all that would come with that, and Harm for… well, for being Harm. “Well, now I know how they met up. How the hell did she get him to bring her back to Sunnydale though?”

It had almost been funny seeing the airhead manipulate her way into a ride home after some sex that Buffy opted out of watching.

***

Neither Buffy nor her invisible appendage had been surprised that her gobshite of a father hadn’t even TRIED to show up for his only child’s graduation. No card, gift, or call either to mark the occasion. ‘Probably forgot. That or duckin’ any obligation to help with College.’ Spike really hated Hank Summers. Joyce and Buffy both deserved so much better.

“Wish she still could see me like when she was a wee tyke, let herself sense me. Wouldn’t have been all alone to face that massive penis demon Wilkins. Maybe take a bit of the sting out of gettin’ abandoned again.”

Spike still fumed at the memory of his grandsire swanning off, leaving Buffy with a mandate she couldn’t possibly live up to.

Joyce preached the ‘joys of normal’ sermon too but at least with her mum, it came from a combination of hope, fear, and a lack of true understanding. Even after a couple of years of being in the know, Mrs. Summers still didn’t quite understand that being the Slayer wasn’t a job description it was WHO her daughter was and always would be.

She could try to lay down her stakes but it wouldn’t change a thing except get Buffy killed faster, if not by a demon or vampire then by the Council grown tired of not having a little girl to order around.

Angel, though, HE knew, the Ponce. Knew that Buffy couldn’t ever give her mates a proper hug without them wincing and begging for her to let up for the hurt. Condemning her to a life of always holding back - never being able to just let loose and relax - that was what his parting wishes offered.

Normal boys either getting killed or leaving when it all became too much. Never understanding what and who she really was, the sacrifices she had to make. Never able to be a true partner to a force of nature like Buffy. Buffy always feeling like she failed them in some way., like she was lacking.

As for those kiddies Angel and Joyce seemed to think Buffy needed… well, a pregnant Slayer was a much easier target. Protecting the sprog like a good mum would weaken her and make it just that much easier for something to have that one good day.

If she was lucky enough to have the kid, it wasn’t likely she’d ever see it toddle off to school much less grow up proper.

All of Angel’s insistence on her embracing a normal male and having the 2.5 rugrats really guaranteed was that Buffy would never find a love and life that left her other than unsatisfied. Her grand teen love with him would be the only memory of an equal partner. All those ‘if only’ dreams making him the tragic perfect match that fate stole away.

She’d mourn the loss forever just like he wanted. Angel could go on with his life knowing she pined for only him. “Rat bastard!”

He’d done the same with Dru. Walked away without even a proper goodbye. Dru spent a century thinking her daddy would be back one day if she was a good girl. ‘Always waitin’. Never given’ her heart elsewhere lest the Bugger came back. All those decades and still all a flutter at just the idea.’

Spike bit back the brief memory of his own hopes along those lines. Hadn’t lasted as it did with Dru, but for a few years, there was an aching void that he hated to admit bore Angel’s shape.

‘Wanker knew how to make it keep hurtin’ long after he was gone.’

***

Spike hated seeing his girl reduced in any way. Seeing this force of nature, the best Slayer he’d ever come up against question herself in so many ways was painful to watch.

“Girl not only has skills but smarts too. Quick on her feet in a fight or just thinking. Smart as a whip with excellent instincts,” Spike winced as the newly-risen vampire crept up behind the two girls unnoticed. “Well ... most of the time.”

Thanks to so many around her, not just Angel, undermining her confidence and judgment she second-guessed everything now. ‘Friends not helpin’ much either. Red’s actin’ like those SAT scores were a fluke not a sign of just how bright Buffy really is.’

The two girls had been sitting by the gravesite waiting for the vampire and going over class choices. Neither of them noticed when the awkward bloke started to amble up for an easy meal. “Smarter than most. This newbie might actually survive his rising,” Spike raised a brow as the fledge took in the bag of weapons and quickly ran the other direction. Buffy and Willow were oblivious to the whole drama.

Willow kept dumbing down the suggestions for classes she thought Buffy might consider. Spike’s eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head as Willow touted the joys of a class in pop culture. “What the bloody hell are they teaching nowadays? No wonder the world’s goin’ to seed.”

***

Willow had taken to University life like a duck to water but Buffy wandered about feeling completely out of her element. Having Willow ‘help’ her with class selection had only served to make her even less sure of her place in higher academics.

Finally, Willow decided Buffy should take Psych 101 along with her and hinted that she could help Buffy if it got too hard!

“What the hell do you think Buffy does to be successful in Slayin’? Has to outthink the Big Bad’s, suss ‘em out all proper to do it too. Talkin’ other species there, Witch! Could teach a bloody class on psychology,” he said indignantly.

Willow’s boyfriend was another who fit in seamlessly but he wasn’t talking down to Buffy. ‘Not much for talkin’ in general but I think I like the bloke,’ Spike decided. ‘Can see why she’s all broken up with him leavin’ not that it gave her the right to do that spell to make us all do what she wanted.’

The girls were picking up their textbooks when Buffy knocked some books onto the head of an Angel clone who made Spike feel a sense of deja vu. ‘Can’t put my finger on it but it’s more than just him reminding me of Peaches.’

As Willow began talking up the idea of Buffy flirting with the lug Spike tried to parse out what it was about the farm-fresh boy that made his hackles rise and senses go on full alert.

Spike was glad to see no spark of real interest in Buffy for the boy but that didn’t deter Willow from lauding his supposed plusses. Seemed the boy was going to TA their Psych class. ‘Ain’t that just a fucked up idea then. Nothin’ like havin’ a power imbalance in a relationship! Wanker’s gonna be gradin’ your papers.’ Spike was fairly certain that was something at least frowned on by the University if not forbidden. ‘Give it up, Red.’

It looked like Willow’s interest in arranging other people’s lives didn’t just start with her wolf leaving.

Once Spike actually listened to what farm-fresh was saying it suddenly clicked why he felt familiar. “Oh, hell no!” Memories of his time in the white rooms of pain and suffering flooded his mind and he connected the voice to one of the suped-up grunts who liked to taze and torture demons. “Glad Buffy won’t be takin’ THAT road. Can just imagine what that NAZI might do if he got a whiff of real power like the Slayer has.”

***

Buffy’s assigned roommate was a surprise. Spike saw right away there was plenty of demon in the chit even if Buffy didn’t seem to twig to it. ‘All that gushin’ over Celine Dion should have been a tip-off. Gotta be at least part demon to be that taken with Dion,’ everyone knew that!

Watching Kathy’s actions as Buffy slept confirmed it. “Mok’taga not often settin’ up shop in this dimension but not unheard of.” Spike wondered how long it would take before anyone noticed that Buffy’s soul was being sucked out of her. He also wondered just why the demon-roommate was going to that trouble. ‘Not like they have to steal souls. Will bear watchin’, this one.’

All of the gang seemed to be going different ways and that was perfectly normal at this point in their lives but Buffy was left standing alone and feeling very out of place.

Getting tossed out of the Pop Culture class didn’t help her esteem either. ‘That so-called professor needs to meet a set of fangs. Arse!’ Bad enough he threw Buffy out but he made a point to humiliate her as well. “Anyone teachin’ that rot’s got no right trying to put anyone down.”

Buffy met a nice enough bloke while wandering the campus after hours. Talked a bit about his favorite book. “Of Human Bondage was a good read so this one’s not a waste of time and space. Be good for Buffy to make some new friends. Wonder if she’s still in touch?” Spike wasn’t jealous since the lad seemed more interested in making a friend than a date. Besides, with all of her old besties too busy for her, might do her good to widen her circle like College is supposed to allow.

***

It didn’t take that long for Spike to get his answer to that question. Eddie, he of the decent taste in books, was a no-show in class the next day. His room was stripped bare and a note left saying he couldn’t cut it and was going home.

Spike and Buffy saw the copy of his treasured book in the drawer at the same time and knew the note was a lie. Spike was proud of Buffy immediately knowing what was what and thinking there must be a nest of vamps on campus preying on newcomers. Too bad the Watcher blew off her suggestion.

Of course, the fact that Rupert was finally gettin’ a piece of happy with an actual female instead of his right hand might have had something to do with his shooing Buffy out of his apartment hastily.

Naturally, that only made Buffy doubt herself in that area too. One other place where her confidence was attacked when she didn’t need it.

Buffy got her proof that night when the gang of vampire thieves surrounded her and beat her to a pulp. ‘My girl is truly off her game.’

Like any cub, she went home to mama bear only to find no real place for her there either.

The visit back home further shook Buffy’s feelings of not belonging as her bedroom was now being used as temporary storage for the Gallery. She was striking out everywhere. Her friends, her former Watcher, and even her mum all moving along with their own lives and Buffy without even a toe-hold on her place in it.

It was a dejected Buffy who ambled into the Bronze that night feeling too old for the crowd there and yet not belonging anywhere else either.

***

Oddly enough it was the droopy boy who proved his worth as a friend. His own post high school plans had gone tits up and he was at loose ends but more than willing to accept Buffy’s take on the missing Eddie and offered to help investigate.

Harris only made it as far as Oxnard on his grand tour, Cali style. ‘Could be worse. Could’ve been San Ardo,’ mused Spike. He filled Buffy in on his vacation washing dishes and stripping that evidently paid him enough for a working car and a trip back home. He was another fledgling without a proper place in the world. Seems his less-than-stellar parents had moved his things to the basement and were now charging him rent and for his food.

His hero-worship of Buffy served for the greater good for a change as he built up her self-esteem a bit by telling her his motto of ‘what would Buffy do’ having gotten him through the worst of it. He’d not discounted Buffy’s theories on Eddie and the vampires who had gotten the jump on Buffy earlier.

When Harris had suggested getting the gang together to go on a vamp hunt, Buffy had to admit that Willow and her Wolf were too busy for anything Slayage. Xander immediately offered his help and support. ‘Gotta give it to him. He’s loyal. Good on him for havin’ her back.’

***

Buffy was more angry than shocked to find out that her belongings were gone and another goodbye note supposedly written by her left on her stripped bed. Seems that Willow and Oz had discovered it and shared their surprise with Xander who set them straight.

Buffy knew immediately who had her things and no hesitation in figuring out where they were nesting.

The Scoobies came through in the end taking out some of the lack-brains as Buffy took out her many frustrations on the catty blonde vampire who had been so dismissive of the Slayer. Her precious Class Protector parasol was a bit worse for the wear but everything was recovered in the end. Even Giles showed up for the fight even if he didn’t show up until it was over.

“Havin’ her friends and Watcher there and havin’ her instincts proven gave her a bit of a boost at least.”

***

Well… for a while at least. Even with Buffy’s being shown to be right about the vampire nest and the late, lamented Eddie’s fate, the group went back to doubting his girl.

Buffy had finally figured out that her roommate was a demon. ‘Course, her reasons were more to justify her desire to kill the bint but still… doesn’t mean she’s wrong.’

No one listened though. They all chalked it up to Buffy being too hard on her annoying roommate.

Meanwhile, Spike watched as the demon kept taking more and more of Buffy’s soul each night.

“Interesting how none of her besties, nor her former Watcher seem to notice any real difference with her. Thought they could spot a soul in a heartbeat,” Spike snarled. He’d really heard more than enough over the years about how much difference a soul made to not be a bit put-out that Buffy’s was slowly being drawn out and none of them noticed it.

What Spike noticed was that the missing soul parts did make Buffy more easily irritated, more inclined to revenge and violence, but other than that, she was still the same Buffy.

Just as with Sunday and her vampire minions, none of Buffy’s nearest and dearest entertained the idea that perhaps the Slayer might be correct and the Celine Dion and Cher loving roomie from hell might literally be from hell.

If it wasn’t for the damage being done having Buffy’s instincts ignored and confidence undercut it might have been funny watching the escalating war between the two females. Each one had discovered just how to push the other’s buttons to get under their skin.

Most of the “battles” were petty stand-offs such as Buffy drinking Kathy’s milk directly from the carton and putting chewed gum on the night-table. Meanwhile the demon “borrowed” a sweater that she managed to stain beyond repair. Harmless annoyances that take place fairly often when you suddenly find yourself living with a stranger.

Spike remembered back to his days in University and shuddered. ‘Least Buffy doesn’t have to deal with fagging.’ The upper-classmen were often physically abusive as well as verbally, especially when they smelled fear in the younger boys assigned to act as personal servants. There were at least a couple of scars that Spike would always carry on his body, not to mention his non-existent soul, thanks to that system. It was soul-stealing of a different sort actually.

That was the problem with Kathy. Not that she was a demon and had mind-numbing taste in music. Not that she was annoying on just about every level. It was that for some reason Spike couldn’t ascertain she kept taking bits of his Buffy.

Spike felt a bit of sympathy for the demon girl when it all came out. Seemed she just wanted to go off to Uni and see a bit of the world. Live like a human. Her family was searching for her though and by stealing Buffy’s soul she had hoped to throw off those who were searching for her, make them think she was human and possibly that Buffy was the demon they wanted.

Just as with Sunday and her gang, Giles and the Scoobies came to the game late. At least they got there in time to save the day… or at least Buffy’s soul. Rupert and Willow did a reversal that gave Buffy back what was taken just as Kathy’s daddy showed up to take her back home.

Seemed that even demons had trouble adjusting in those years when childhood ends and the adult world beckons from time to time. For Kathy’s species, her 3,000 years still made her too young to go out into the world on her own. ‘Shame her family didn’t let her stay. Might have done the girl a lot of good to see something other than her home dimension.

Willow jumped on the opportunity to take the space left by Kathy as Buffy’s new roommate. If she had seen the look in Buffy’s eyes as she helped herself to Buffy’s sandwich she might have wondered if Buffy really had all of her soul back after all!

A/N:

Cargo ship arrival (time-lapse) Oakland/San Francisco commercial harbor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpyujbLkmJs&ab_channel=SeaTube

Walking tour of Chinatown, San Francisco, California
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bPl-NsgOlE&ab_channel=TravelingwithAndrew

Spiciest Chinese dishes
https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/china-food-spiciest-dishes/index.html

I Left my Heart in San Francisco, Tony Bennett (1963, the Judy Garland show)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpwQ5RzwC00&ab_channel=BestArtsJudy

Castro district of San Francisco
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3N8muuBZqQs&ab_channel=THETABLE

Moving a car to a new city
https://www.moving.com/tips/the-best-ways-to-move-a-car-to-a-new-city/

California Hwy. 101, the coastal highway
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0ViSVOD42E&ab_channel=TampaAerialMedia

Note to any curious traveler. You will not find the tavern in this story (or any other I could find) in San Ardo. The closest thing is a cafe or a gas and liquor store LOL. We’ll just use literary license and pretend shall we? Seems with all the oil rigs they’d have at least one place for unwinding but, alas, seems not.

San Ardo, California
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Ardo_Oil_Field
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08rNDdwR8kU&ab_channel=JonathanBush
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Ardo,_California Found halfway between SF and Santa Barbara (the stand-in for Sunnydale ). Home of Oil fields (Chevron and Aera oil) and farms in the Salinas valley and edged by the Salinas river. In the 2000 census it had a population of 501 people… makes Sunnydale look like LA in comparison.

Professor Higgins from My Fair Lady Why Can’t the English Learn How to Speak?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhninL_G3Fg&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=EivindSolfjell

Virgins, Unicorns and Medieval literature
http://community.bowdoin.edu/news/2017/11/virgins-unicorns-and-medieval-literature/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CIn%20legend%2C%20you%20have%20the,he%20represents%20Adam%20and%20Eve.

Choosing college classes (in the US)
https://www.collegexpress.com/articles-and-advice/majors-and-academics/blog/how-select-your-college-classes-guide-first-year-students/

How to read a syllabus
https://www.llcc.edu/student-services/cas/helpful-handouts/how-to-read-a-syllabus/

How to get the most from your College advisor
https://www.chegg.com/play/student-life/how-to-get-the-most-from-your-academic-advisor/

13 ways to prepare for your Freshman year in College
https://www.collegeraptor.com/find-colleges/articles/tips-tools-advice/13-ways-to-prepare-for-your-freshman-year-of-college/

Adjusting to dorm life in college
https://www.sofi.com/blog/adjusting-to-dorm-life/

Fagging
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fagging

Eye of Eleos Chapter 75/

pfeifferpack — Fri, 16 Apr 2021 19:49:12 GMT

Events of The Prom written by Marti Noxon and Graduation Day Pt 1and 2 written by Joss Whedon are referenced.

Apologies for the length of time between chapters. RL and personal issues have prevented me from writing in a timely manner. I am in hopes that the circumstances have changed enough that I can return to more frequent updates.

I read and cherish all comments and assure you that your kindness and thoughts are deeply appreciated.

Chapter 75

Buffy marched purposefully towards the mansion. She looked like someone headed to an execution more than a girl off to meet the love of her life.

“Huh!” Spike tilted his head and tried to think back a couple of years. “Never did know just how old grandpappy got hold of that monstrosity. Too focused on his poaching Dru to pay much attention, that and scrounging a meal so I could get out of that soddin’ chair.”

Spike had assumed that Angelus and Dru had eaten the original owners of the Myan Revival eyesore intended to emulate Lloyd Wright’s mansion in L.A. It wasn’t unusual for Angelus to appropriate upscale digs for his family and minions. All those mansions and palaces were interchangeable over the years and easily disposable. Seemed Angel held on to this one somehow.

“So much for all that guilt his soul’s supposed to lay on him. Stayed right there once he got back from that vacation in hell.” He gave a rueful chuckle. “Knowin’ the pompous arse he likely thought his time frying his goolies on Satan’s bar-b-que gave him a paid-in-full for the real estate squatting.” One thing Spike was fairly sure of was that Angel hadn’t gotten a mortgage or used any other legal, soulful means of acquiring the mansion. “Wonder if he still thinks of it as his?”

“Would fit his world-view. Once something or someone belonged to the great forehead, 'twas his thereafter.”

Spike had watched Buffy make this same trip so often since hell spit Angel back to Sunnydale. Most of her patrols ended there with a snuggle. “Lucifer might have had his belly full of the arrogant Ponce enough to eject him but Buffy hadn’t had her fill yet.”

Sometimes their clandestine trysts were just more of the angst-filled yearning and tears (on Buffy’s part) and ‘noble self-sacrifice’ act by Angel. ‘Enough to make a vampire hurl.’

Other times Angel continued his quest to mold and refine Buffy’s education, make her a proper consort for his exalted self. Reading from selected philosophers and great novelists, he’d translate from the foreign texts and showed not one whit of understanding the content himself while intimidating and impressing the high-school girl.

“Tryin’ to prove his superiority. Legend in his own mind! Would pay to see someone who really understood the depths of Proust or Kafka engage the wanker in honest discourse. Two minutes in and he’d show himself as ignorant as he tried to make Buffy feel.”

Sometimes it was music. Spike would give him that at least. Nothing wrong with learning to appreciate opera or the Great Masters. Thing was, Angel was only familiar with them because it was the music and entertainment of his own time, not because he was so highly cultured.

“As I recall, Angel listened to a fair amount of Barry Manilow last time his soul went walkies. Tom Jones and the Rat Pack too. Even warbled a bit of Elvis off-key enough to make my ears bleed. Nothin’ wrong with that either. Christ knows I love most of it too but I don’t put on airs and try to come off like a priggish snob just to impress a girl or to make her feel young and gauche.”

Spike shrugged and laughed at himself. “Course, can’t blame him for tryin’ to wean her from those truly frightenin’ boy bands. Most of em’s biggest talent is posin’ for those posters slapped on young girl’s walls.”

Buffy frowned as she trudged towards the mansion. She’d been tossing and turning in her sleep ever since the Mayor had taunted that she and Angel had no future together.

“Not as blunt as I was in tellin’ the two of them they’d never be friends, but same idea.” It seemed like everyone but the two would-be star-crossed lovers could see the writing on the wall.

Spike watched as Buffy tried to end things with Angel. She made a good case about how they both knew that they couldn’t be together. The tears had fallen like rain… from Buffy. Angel maintained his standard bland expression. Poor girl was emotionally drained only to have her efforts and opinions set aside.

“I can’t accept that, Buffy.” Angel’s soul-filled brown eyes had gazed at her with pain and longing when she’d tried to end things. It had made Buffy feel like the worst sort of person to rub Angel’s nose in what he couldn’t have again. Then came the pronouncement from the Mayor and now Angel had changed his own tune. Told her that they DID need to part. That he was leaving temptation behind as soon as school ended for the year.

Spike could almost hear the violins weeping a sad tune as he lamented the need.

***

All of Buffy’s friends were gearing up for the last big dance of High School. Even Angel knew the importance of the Senior Prom to the average American student. Darla had always loved picking off meals at those venues. Claimed all those hormones, hopes, and illicit alcohol-laced punch made for tastier nummies.

Buffy had a dress but no date. Neither did Cordelia but she had her eye on the junior Watcher as a potential dance partner. Buffy’s heart was still in Angel’s careless hands.

Seemed Angel’s change of mind left his girl with a pair of tickets but no partner for the event. Spike was fairly certain Angel’d had a visit from either Joyce or Giles on the subject of Buffy. He’d gone from not being able to consider parting to ending things himself just before the Prom and graduation.

“Built-up her hopes that somehow he’d figure out how they could stay together only to pull the rug out from under her.”

It was no surprise to Spike. Angel had to be the ‘great decider’. NO ONE walked away from the flaming poof. If walking was going to happen it would be Angelus flouncing away in his own time and style. The more lamenting on the part of those he was leaving the more gratifying.

“Never even thought about trying to nail that soul down so he could love her proper. Hell, never gave thought of how to please her without gettin’ too happy himself.”

Spike ground his teeth in frustration on Buffy’s behalf. “Didn’t even think about stayin’ around with his hands off the girl just watchin’ her back. Keepin’ her alive,” of course, Angel didn’t do anything if there wasn’t something in it for him. “Bet he’s even chargin’ all those helpless he’s rescuin’ down there in L.A. Tellin’ himself he needs the dosh to keep goin’.”

***

Buffy made it to her prom in spite of some wanker’s pack of trained hellhounds. The kid had been turned down by his choice for a date and reacted by trying to kill off his classmates in a bloodbath. ‘Least I got turned before wreaking vengeance after a turn-down. Had a demon whisperin’ sweet nothin’s on how to make things right. This kid didn’t have that excuse.’

“Can understand the urge. Wasn’t exactly Mr. Popular myself but at least I only used the railroad spikes on the ones who actually asked for it… literally in the one case. Didn’t wipe out the entire social set AND that was with the demon.”

On the bright side, Buffy was honored by her classmates with a fetching parasol and the title of Class Protector. Spike beamed at the joy on his girl’s face as the short, awkward, boy made the presentation. He could see that Buffy was touched more than if they had showered her in gold.

“Good to see what she does, what she gives up every night, gettin’ recognized at last!”

Then a hush fell over the crowd as Angel made his grand entrance. He parted the crowd like old Moses did the Red Sea and claimed a slow, sad, dance with his Juliet. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room… except for Angel’s of course.

***

The time was ticking on the Mayor’s big day. Everyone was pretty sure the class of ‘99s graduation was going to be one for the history books even if they hadn’t nailed down the details just yet.

Buffy insisted Joyce get out of town instead of joining the other proud parents at the ceremony. It took some doing but Buffy finally convinced her mom that she’d only be a deadly distraction if she was there. With a promise to call as soon as it was all clear and that they would have a private celebration later, the elder Summers lady got out of town.

Buffy and Angel were at odds over his leaving and the tension from the impending battle but their bitter words were cut short by a poisoned arrow. Spike couldn’t help but regret the poor aim of the dark Slayer.

Seemed the Mayor’s recruit knew just how to get under Buffy’s skin and distract her. Instead of putting her time and attention to the coming Ascension, Buffy was single-mindedly focused on saving Angel from the toxin that was designed to kill the dead.

Buffy was even willing to debase herself to the Council for a cure. Not unexpectedly they had no interest in helping restore Angel to health even with his soul in place.

Spike watched a coldness come over Buffy as her heart shut down at the rejection. She watched Angel writhe and sweat on the bed as he lay suffering and her eyes became hard and her heart closed down.

The skittish junior Watcher had managed to get the information anyway. The cure lay in Slayer’s blood.

Spike was shocked for the first time since the whole spell that revealed Buffy’s life to him began. He watched as his brilliant girl, his effulgent paragon of all that was good and righteous immediately set out to kill her sister Slayer to feed to the worst vampire in recorded history! The very vampire preparing to leave Buffy high and dry after the yearly apocalypse ended.

All of Buffy’s set-in-stone rules about humans went out the window as she set out purposefully to get what was needed to save the worthless lout.

The dark Slayer was no real challenge against a fully committed and pissed-off Buffy. Her inner rage and boundless love for the dying vampire fueled her mission and made her unstoppable. The girl wasn’t even thinking at this point, merely acting on pure emotion.

“Suddenly the hard-fast rule about killing humans gets chucked out the window,” Spike’s eyebrows nearly rose to his hairline.

He panted emotionally as he watched the brutal fight between the two girls play out. He knew Faith would kill Buffy without a second thought but he also knew that Buffy wouldn’t fare as well even if she won, not afterward. Not once her actions sunk in. Once the blood cooled, he knew that Buffy would be horrified at her actions.

His girl was passionate and maybe this was the incident that made her want to tamp down those very passions. Knowing what you are capable of can be terrifying.

The knife went deep and both girls looked shaken that things had reached that conclusion even though it had been inevitable.

Faith fell from the rooftop as Buffy looked on in a daze.

Spike watched his girl break.

***

Angel put on his most tragically heroic face as he refused to drink from Buffy.

Buffy was determined. She’d already set an unthinkable value on the wanker’s life. Now that the only available Slayes blood was her own, she seemed even more peaceful about it all. She also was not taking no for an answer. She’d come too far.

“Three times! Only had to hit the bastard three times before he was on her like a bloody leech,” Spike was disgusted. “No control whatsoever.”

There was no way Angel needed all of Buffy’s blood to effect a cure. Problem was he never learned how to leash his demon. The bite was brutal too, he had savaged her neck. “Always thought some nasty left those marks. Never woulda thought they came from someone claimin’ to love her. Didn’t have to rip her throat like that.”

***

Seemed the Mayor HAD feelings behind his words. Actually cared for the poor comatose twig. Spike found himself glad that Faith had been loved even if by a malevolent fucker like Wilkins. ‘Kid never caught a break, even when she did finally matter to someone.’

Angel had brought Buffy into the hospital and they rushed to pump blood into the depleted girl.

‘One good thing about the Hellmouth, they know just what to do and do it fast.’

Angel was clearly worried but didn’t even offer an apology. “Actin’ the hero for gettin’ her help instead of ownin’ up to bein’ the villain who drained her.”

Wilkins had been visiting Faith when Buffy was admitted. Buffy was still on shaky ground but healing when the Mayor snapped and tried to finish what Angel had started.

Angel managed to pull him off and save Buffy from strangulation. Possibly Angel’s quick actions saved him from a staking from Rupert. “Not that Buffy would have forgiven her surrogate dad for offin’ the demon who nearly turned her into an empty husk. Not then at least.”

“Girl loves hard and full-in.” Spike understood that. It was how he loved. Just had unfortunate taste in lovers, both of them did. “Not worthy of her. Guess I’ll have to learn to be worthy now that I got lucky enough to have her love. Don’t fuckin’ understand how it happened but never gonna take it for granted or let her wish she didn’t love me.”

***

The battle was a splendid bit of mayhem with the entire class going up against Wilkins and his minions.

Spike watched in demonic amusement as the giant snake devoured the kid-hating Principal and thought of some of his professors that had deserved a similar fate in his day.

Buffy played the giant snake perfectly. Used his love for Faith against him and sent him into an emotional frenzy that left him open for manipulation.

There were losses, of course, but all in all not too many. Considering the entire class and all the guests had been on the menu it was negligible except for those immediately impacted.

Buffy had now managed to destroy two high schools. Such an accomplishment might be the dream of many a harried teen but Buffy was too physically and emotionally depleted to do more than look over the wreckage and breathe a sigh of relief that she’d survived yet another apocalypse.

This time it didn’t take putting a sword through her love and sending him to hell. Still, it did see an end with Angel though.

This time she didn’t even get a last kiss and word of love, just the vision of Angel, coat flaring dramatically, as he turned without so much as a wave and disappeared into the night, one with the shadows and smoke.

Spike saw her face as her heart broke. He hoped Angel didn’t get the satisfaction of seeing it from across the expanse. “Would stoke that ego of his knowin’ how crushed Buffy was at his leaving without a word.” As always Angel left devastation in his wake.

‘Did the job as well as any religious, political, or media moralist could’ve though.’ Spike recognized his girl was past it now but had to wonder how long it would’ve taken without the spell that gave the poor bint a good century to learn, think, process, and heal?

‘Heavy-handed lesson about goin full-in on love. Bollocks that! Make a girl think normal sexual desires were evil or led to it! No wonder she was so tightly wound.’ He thought back to the Buffy he wrestled with over the idol before the spell began. ‘Had lots of fire and passion. Plenty of desires but scared to explore or indulge all thanks to that wanker.’

He watched as Angel pranced away into the smoke like some b-film wanna-be. “Tryin’ to play all Casablanca like only no buddin’ friendship waitin’ on this dick,” he snorted. “Left a mess of pain behind like always while he poofs off as if he’s the tragic hero; tosser. Stoically doin’ the noble thing no matter how selfish and daft it really is. Just another person walkin’ out of her life without a backward glance.”

“If Angel let Buffy end it weeks before when she’d tried to, it would’ve hurt but not gutted the poor lamb. No, had to be on HIS terms, his choice and never mind the fallout.”

Spike watched Buffy as she choked back tears watching her first love walk away.

“‘S alright, pet. Better without him. It’s just what he does, not you. Makes everyone rely on him, count on him, love him… then walks away without a look. Classic Angelus.”

Spike gave thought to an old quote from Oscar Wilde. “Men always want to be a woman’s first love. That’s their clumsy vanity. Women have a more subtle instinct about things. What they like is to be a man’s last romance.” ‘Kitten, you’re my last and best. Won’t do wrong by you.’

Spike understood the leaving was the worst for Buffy. “Took her right back to her worthless Da. Didn’t help that her Watcher chose the Council over her just months ago. Blindsided her, leavin’ her emotionally even if the tweedy berk stayed after.” Spike hated to think what having Giles physically abandon her might do!

Everyone making choices for her. Buffy having to learn to let go and move on the hard way.

“Well, I’m not the leavin’ type. Even when I prob’ly should. Least my girl wants me around now too. Gonna show her how to be properly loved. Gonna see she’s never gutted and left behind again.”

***

Buffy was sleep-deprived and cranky as Willow chirped her way into her room a couple of days after the apocalypse. She began unloading her oversized messenger bag on Buffy’s bed as Buffy yawned and stretched.

“Buff!. Good, you’re up! Time’s a-wastin' and we’ve got college to plan!” Willow was clearly in her element and filled with energy.

“I think I have every course description and syllabus they had available to get ready for that appointment with the academic advisor! We’ll have to work out a schedule that gives you time to rest up a bit after patrol, of course, but not put you too far behind.” Willow jabbered on not noticing the extreme lack of interest or alertness in Buffy.

Joyce had been talking courses all the previous evening and Buffy was tapped out. Her mom had dreams of all the art and music courses available. Had even suggested something in fashion design that had at least caught Buffy’s interest for a moment.

Now here was Willow laying out a grand plan for classes in psychology and science that they could take together. “And I can help you with the classwork and stuff.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Like Buffy hasn’t got a brain of her own. All she hasn’t had is time to study.”

“There it is again with everyone pushin’ their plans and dreams on Buffy.” Looked like this was the point where she’d started to cede her life to others, all but the Slaying that is.

“Gonna take ‘em by storm once we’re back, sweetheart. Got your agency back. No more pushin’ you about or dismissin’ you. No more makin’ you feel less. Got your back now.” He couldn’t wait to see her again even in ghostly form to let her know that.

A/N:

Ennis House (exterior shots used for Angel’s mansion) designed by Frank Lloyd Wright

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ennis_House

Barry Manilow Mandy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XeSQVWleqY&ab_channel=TopPop

Tom Jones Delilah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIIU9xkGAMs&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=TheEdSullivanShow

The Rat Pack (Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Jr., Dean Martin,) on Johnny Carson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrG2BzBSuzc&ab_channel=VeganVanguard

Elvis Can’t Help Falling In Love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttuVUynl5SU&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=ElvisPresleyVEVO

Final scene of Casablanca

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G62tkd2t7qk&ab_channel=AndrewBarbin

March dragons

pfeifferpack — Sun, 04 Apr 2021 05:46:28 GMT

Eye of Eleos chapter 74/

pfeifferpack — Sat, 27 Feb 2021 07:11:48 GMT

Episode events touched on in this chapter: Enemies, written by Douglas Petrie, Earshot by Jane Espenson, and Choices by David Fury.

Chapter 74

“Ah, Mr. Pratt…cousin!” The slightly paunchy man extended his hand carefully. He strongly favored his long-past forbearer, Uncle George. ‘Has the same slightly shifty eyes as well and the right one has that tic too,’ Spike noted.

“Nice of you to meet with me at this hour. My stay here in Liverpool is short and my schedule quite full, it was the only time available.” Spike saw the man glance around nervously. He hoped there was nothing for this distant cousin to hide. The family business had managed to keep up with the times and even thrive but in truth, it had been some years since Spike had physically dropped in to check on things.

Spike had intended to make some changes with his financial situation once he got to London and had his meeting with his man of business and a team of lawyers that handled things on a regular basis. Wolfram and Hart wasn’t the only powerful game that breached the demon and human world available. Spike really hoped cousin Basil was merely a nervous Nelly and not a problem to have to deal with. Spike hadn’t planned on a long visit to Merry ‘Ole. He had a legend to follow and a treasure to uncover after all.

“...So you can see that the next quarter will show a profit, naturally, but it will be less than the previous quarter because of reinvestment,” Basil had been explaining the figures he’d diligently shown to William. “Terribly sorry it isn’t as plump as the usual purse.” Basil had actually broken out in a sweat. This cousin of his unnerved him for some reason. The man wasn’t all that large but he exuded power and danger and Basil wasn’t used to dealing with that sort. When it was time to deal with the union boys or dockside workers he tended to send others in his stead.

‘So. Cousin Basil is only worried that I’m here to second guess his business plans.’ Spike smiled and sought to reassure his rabbit of a relative. “Nonsense, reinvestment in the future’s what sets Pratt Shipping above our competition. Keeps us viable for the future.”

Spike looked over the accounts and Basil’s plans with approving nods. The man might be a bit yellow but his business mind was sound. “All looks ship-shape and Bristol fashion… or rather Liverpool fashion I suppose. Indeed, given my distance from the day-to-day running of things, I’d be a prat of a different sort to barrel in here and criticize. Still, family business and all, need to be diligent rather than a dilettante, eh?”

Basil laughed and seemed to relax. He’d heard about the business acumen of his previously unseen partner. This William Pratt had a reputation for noting details many missed. Basil had seen many a scribbled notation on plans faxed overseas over the years. The controlling partner moved around quite a bit but seemed to have finally settled in some small California town the past year or so.

Basil was honest but he knew his limits. When told that his distant relative wanted a meeting he’d feared the worst. He was the hands-on management of the thriving business but the final say about Pratt Shipping interests, the controlling partner, was always the scion of the other, invisible, side of the family. It had been that way from before the turn of the century. Cousin William could have Basil replaced with only a word should he not approve in any way. Luckily it appeared they were of like mind about how the company should continue.

Suddenly Basil felt his stomach settle and his comfortable life once more stabilize. Dinner with Margaret after this late meeting would be one without any high drama or life-up-ending conversations. Mr. Pratt would go back to California and Basil would likely only exchange texts, faxes, and other mailings for the remainder of his turn at the wheel. That was how it had worked for his predecessors and Mr. Pratt’s as well. Frankly as unnerving as he’d found his cousin’s presence, he would be quite thankful for that tradition to continue.

“Oh, before we conclude…” Spike lifted a brow and smiled at his relative. “I’d rather like to get a first-hand experience with one of our new container ships as it plies the seas. I understand we have a newly commissioned ship leaving port next week headed through the Panama Canal and on to San Francisco if I’m not mistaken? Load of goods from all over the EU?”

“You wish to ...sail… on her?” Surely his wealthy cousin would prefer to travel in greater luxury.

“I assume there’s a berth available for the principal shareholder? Don’t need anything fancy. Place to sleep, place to fix my own meals.” Spike had no desire to draw suspicion about his eating habits. While he was more than happy to eat human food, his true needs required a bit more privacy. Having a kitchen of sorts would provide refrigeration needed to store the blood he planned to take to avoid having to nip on the relatively small crew.

Basil was surprised. The accommodations on even their finest vessels were bare-bones, especially on the new container ships. Still, if Mr. Pratt had a yen for such a voyage far be it from him to stand in his way. “Of course! I’ll see to it that the best possible situation is made ready for your travels. I assume you are returning to your home then? I had thought to invite you ‘round to meet the misses.”

Spike smiled, “Sorry. Sure she’s a lovely lass but as I said my time is all accounted for. I’ll return the day we sail. Appreciate you handling the setup.”

“It’s been a pleasure, cousin,” Basil shook his hand and wondered if he should order a cabin with extra heating since his cousin appeared to be rather cold-natured.

GhostBuffy smiled. She was always taken aback by hearing Spike talk with his properly educated accent. He slid into his old manners and speech pattern effortlessly though. ‘Spike would have made a great actor.’

***

Falco, Barnett, Grieves, and Muller were located on a discreet and quiet street near Paternoster Square. Even with the twilight encroaching the dome of St. Paul’s shone, seeming to give its benediction on all the financial and banking institutions crowded together in their modern setting. No one passing would have remarked on its staid, respectable appearance or taken note of the equally respectable clientele that might be seen during the daylight hours. Few were there to view anything different or to raise an eyebrow once the sun went down and a different sort of customer transacted their own business.

The firm had both human and non-human clients and a reputation for honesty that set them apart from other firms that lived and worked in both worlds. They provided both legal and financial assistance of the law-abiding variety to those challenged when it came to fitting into the human-centric world of daylight.

Spike was greeted like royalty upon entering the marbled front office. The Ano-movic secretary was almost gushing. “Mr. Pratt, how delightful to actually meet you in person!” She escorted Spike to an obviously expensive settee that looked like it first saw the light of day in William’s human days yet still maintained its pristine condition.

She bustled through a side room door and returned with a tray laid out with a proper tea that had been prepared ahead of time. Evidently they knew their client well enough to know his tastes and habits. Along with the standard heady pot of PG Tips, small sandwiches, cakes, and biscuits there was a carafe filled with a deep red liquid. “I do hope that A-positive is to your liking?”

Spike nodded and poured the warmed blood into a cut crystal goblet that was also on the tray. “Just fine, thank you,” he sipped in satisfaction.

“Should I play mother?” Her hand hovered over the teapot in anticipation. At Spike’s nod, she began to pour a steaming cup then bushed slightly, “I’m sorry, I should have asked if you wanted milk first? Sugar?”

Spike shook his head. It had been a while since he’d had a properly brewed cuppa and he decided he didn’t want to dilute the pleasure.

“Mr. Barnett will be just a few moments. He asked me to make his apologies and see that you are comfortable. His last meeting ran a bit over.”

As she spoke, Spike watched as a cleaning crew in full hazmat gear exited the conference room with a barrel and bio-hazard cleaning supplies. He smirked a bit in understanding.

“Meeting didn’t go to plan?”

The secretary grinned, “More like as expected. You know our reputation for proper business. Fiduciary standards are NEVER haphazard. We all know that when we hire on. Once in a while someone slips through,” she raised a brow, “But never for long.”

Harold Barnett came into the room wiping his hands on a pristine towel that he promptly handed to his able secretary. “Pour one for me, Mildred, if you will. Two sugars, I’m a bit energy depleted.”

Barnett offered his hand to Spike, clearly delighted. “William! So lovely to see you again. ‘44? ‘45? Can’t really remember the last time I was here to personally assist you. The telephone and computer aren’t quite the same.” His smile was genuine. It was clear that he held Spike in high esteem. “What can we do for you this time? Pratt Shipping and all of your investments have been performing beautifully and that cousin of yours is a stellar hand at the wheel.”

“No complaints, Harold. Know I chose wisely back in’03 when I helped you start this enterprise of yours.” Spike smiled and nodded. “Got a good head for business and trustworthy as they come.”

GhostBuffy smiled, ‘Makes sense why they’re treating him like he’s a rock-star. That’s my vampire-businessman.’ She was pretty proud of how he’d handled his family estate all those decades. He never stopped honoring his father or taking care of those whose livelihoods depended on the Pratt family.

“So what can we do for you?”

“Dru and I split up … for good this time.”

Harold looked stunned and tsked in sympathy. He’d never known William without his dark princess.

“Suppose a century-plus is a good run all in all but the lady finally put a period on it.”

“Sorry to hear that William. She was a pistol,” the human-like demon grinned. “Gave you a real run for your money… not that she actually dipped into your investments or anything… merely a figure of speech.”

Spike looked wistful and a bit sad as he sipped his tea. “True. Kept me on my toes and livened up life, led me on her merry dance.” He sighed.

“So you’ll be wanting her name off the accounts then?”

“Yeah,” Spike whispered. “Don’t think she’d ever abuse the privilege but who knows what some future fancy of hers might decide to do if her pixies spill the beans on what’s available.”

Barnett nodded sagely.

“Want to do right by her though. Thought I’d have you move most of my assets to a new account with just my name. Leave a reasonable sum in the old one in case she does need to dip into it. Has all the numbers that way.”

Barnett nodded in agreement. “Excellent solution.” He rose and motioned Spike into his office to start the paperwork. “Still want that annuity to pay out to those TB clinics every quarter? “

“Yeah.” Spike tapped his delicate cup with a forefinger, looking thoughtful. “Might want to set up another as well. Find a decent charity that takes care of damaged chits… you know the sort. Strugglin’ like Dru. Those been taken beyond the bearin’ and left to try to survive best they can.”

‘Never met a vampire like William the Bloody before or since. A dangerous killer without a doubt but still has a heart, especially when reminded of someone he loves.’ Barnett nodded. “We’ll get that set up and be certain to check out whatever group we recommend. I’ll have Mildred ship the information to you once we’ve done our homework and found an honest one. Will it be for demons or humans?”

Spike gave it a bit of thought. “Both. Plenty of wounded doves of all kinds out there. Kinder to just drain ‘em then leave ‘em like that.”

Buffy knew Spike was loyal and totally realized how well he could love. Nothing new there to learn! She found herself deeply touched to see yet more evidence for both traits in how he honored Anne and Dru even though both were lost to him. “When it comes to love, he can be so unselfish.”

GhostBuffy really wanted to hug her vampire as she listened to him setting up plans. He may not have a soul, but his heart was capable of great caring. He wasn’t going to leave Dru with no resources. She smiled at the thought that she was now the lucky lady who owned that heart.

***

Things moved so quickly as the rest of that year revealed itself to GhostlySpike. ‘Like watching a spider spin its web in speeded-up time-lapse,;’ he mused as he watched the Mayor make his plans. The demon Mayor might play at sit-com dad but his heart was as black as the full demon he aspired to become.

Spike sadly watched the little urchin of a dark Slayer as she stepped right into the web. Cocooned, but not in the benevolent love of a father figure found at long last as she thought. No, she was the fly that the Mayor would devour if necessary, leaving her to desiccate, for now, trapped, all for his ends alone.

‘Poor chit really wasn’t equipped to deal with all that. Could have been so different if the bleedin’ Council had given a damn!’ He felt anger on Faith’s behalf. “First her useless blood family did her wrong than the ones who only saw her as a weapon, that includes Wilkins too. He just sugar-coated it, made her think he actually gave a damn.”

Spike wished he’d taken the fucker out when he’d been in Sunnydale the last time. ‘Fake Jim Anderson,’ Spike sneered in scorn. “Offered the girl everythin’ she craved. Gave her all the praise and lip-service love she was starved for. Bastard played her like all the rest. Only decent folks ever tried to give her a hand were Buffy and her mum.”

Funny that. Joyce had been the same towards him. Offered peace and acceptance but also at the same time taking no-nonsense. “Too bad that went south too soon. Coulda been the makin’ of the girl.”

“Don’t have a clue ‘bout ole Angelus,” Spike snickered as he watched Faith try to seduce the soul out of Angel on the Mayor’s orders. “Faith comes across like a woman sure of herself, at least in the bedroom. Never appeal to the old man that way! Likes at least the illusion of shy innocence. Likes ‘em blonde too even if it’s out of a box.”

The good guys had Faith’s game figured out and when they discovered Wilkins plan B was to call on dark forces to pull the soul out, Rupert’s Ripper past came in handy. Seems the demon sorcerer owed the Watcher a favor. The spell was as false as the Mayor and his ‘gee-golly’s’.

Even knowing it was a lie, Buffy was hurt and insecure. Seeing Angel cozy up to Faith and to hear him spew things she’d only come to associate with Angelus had pulled the scab off of the wounds from the previous year.

In the end, Faith’s betrayal was out in the open and Buffy was gunshy about her beloved’s devotion. ‘Too good a job actin’ Angel’d say but we both know it’s just that Angelus is always there right under the surface.’

Even when Buffy let the big lug know she needed some time to process, he made sure to mark his territory. “Are you still my girl?” He’d given her the full cow-eyes with just the right dash of deep soulful pain showing.

“Always,” she’d dutifully assured him.

“Not so much,” GhostSpike snickered remembering how his girl had FINALLY left that manipulative oaf in her past where he belonged during the course of this really wonderful spell.

***

Buffy really cared about all the little humans she was called to protect. “Gotta give it to those Powers. They picked the right one with Buffy. Heart of kindness and empathy.”

The demon had left Buffy tortured with the thoughts of those around her. “Everybody’s walkin’ wounded in some way,” Spike noted. “My girl takes it all on herself though. Gonna drive herself half-mad if she doesn’t take a step back. Gonna help her not lose herself that way once this spell we’re stuck in breaks. Think she’s in a better place now, but still feels too much for all the other buggers no matter if she knows ‘em or not.”

“Two in the win column, one in the loss there,” Spike decided. Buffy had saved the daft boy who’d planned to shoot away his pain and also stopped the crazed lunch lady from poisoning away ALL their pain. Then there was the Great Poof…

“Buffy had looked for the upside to all the mind readin’ Figured would be a good time to look inside that great forehead and fish around to see what he REALLY felt for the other Slayer.” Not a bad idea if the Berk had let her in.

Spike laughed as Angel fed Buffy a line about how she couldn’t read his mind for the same reason he had no reflection in a mirror. “Yeah, if you’re sayin’ ya got no brain then I’ll buy into it. Move along… nothin’ to read here,” he giggled. “Shoulda just told her the truth. Learned to shut out anyone pryin’ in your noggin to protect against Dru, same as me. Coulda let the Slayer get a peek if you wanted. Too much like tellin’ the truth then. Might give the girl a look at the REAL Angel if you did. Not the image you wanted her to cuddle up to though.”

***

Wilkins got his box of creepies in the end. “Even knowing it would make the Mayor pretty unstoppable, Buffy would never let her best friend pay with her life to keep it away from him.”

Spike understood that kind of loyalty. He’d given up a win often enough to protect Dru over the years.

They’d traded the box of Gavrok for Willow’s release even if it wasn’t a move the Council would have approved of in any respect.

Willow was as loyal as Buffy for that matter. Once Buffy realized she’d never be free of the Hellmouth and her duties to be able to go to some Uni elsewhere, her BFF decided to forgo all the Ivy League offers of her own to attend the backwater UC Sunnydale with the Slayer. Faith’s clear defection to the ‘other side’ had removed any hope of letting the back-up Slayer handle the fort for a few years. Buffy was stuck, so Willow chose to stick with her.

“Good on her bein’ a true best friend. Shame for her personally though. Red’s got a fine mind. Could really go places with the right school.” Spike could understand Willow’s frustration better. She’d given up HER chances to support her friend in a fight that was never hers to fight.

“No wonder she’s hell-bent on provin’ herself. Didn’t get to do it in the normal way.”

Need to watch her once she starts to get a REAL taste for power though. Her spells show she has genuine talent. ‘Add that power to her natural smarts and she’s trouble waitin’ to happen. Watcher best keep an eye on her before it’s too late.”

Ghost Spike reflected on his girl and those most important to her. The picture was getting more and more clear to him. Her family, Watcher, and friends were an extension of herself and she’d give her life for any one of them. But it went beyond that. All of humanity mattered to her in a tangible way. To hurt any of those in her care was to hurt her. If Spike wanted to be the right partner for the woman he loved, he’d need to learn to care about every last one of them starting with those closest to her.

“Mouthy boy’s not gonna make that easy but Buffy’s worth it.”

A/N:
‘Ship-shape and Bristol fashion’ means everything in good order. Origin:
https://wordhistories.net/2017/10/18/shipshape-bristol-fashion/#:~:text=The%20British%2DEnglish%20phrase%20shipshape,in%20good%20order%2C%20efficiently%20arranged.

Timelapse construction of a ship, Port of Liverpool Biomass
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23ATuS7_Zow&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=PeelPorts

Transatlantic travel on container ship (Germany-USA)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaK7-Rmnyn8&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=1983

Container ship accommodations (around 2:00 for “owners” accommodation)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XY2_g5gEIl8&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=Tjc

Paternoster Square (London’s financial district like NYC Wall street). The stock exchange wasn’t located there until 2004 but many investment banks and the like were there at the time Spike made his visit in this chapter.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paternoster_Square
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAYUUx9uwys&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=VicStefanu-AmazingWorldVideos

Jim Anderson was the name of the father on the old sit-com Father Knows Best (sample ep. here)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXVEWmxkmbQ&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=Shout%21Factory

“Shall I be Mother” or variations meaning
https://www.eatyourwords.co.uk/2017/03/21/shall-i-be-mother/

British tea culture
https://www.ef.edu/blog/language/tea-introduction-british-tea-culture/

Eye of Eleos Chapter 73/

pfeifferpack — Fri, 29 Jan 2021 02:46:58 GMT

References to events in episodes Bad Girls (written by Douglas Petrie), Consequences (written by Marti Noxon), and Dopplegangland (written by Joss Whedon). Keep in mind that Spike’s insights and commentary are his own POV and not always correct. He calls them as he sees them but he’s fallible too.

Chapter 73

Spike was surprised all in all. ‘Always thought it was Angelus and his fun and games that caused most of their issues. Never knew it was mostly this year, the one I mostly missed.’

He’d watched as Buffy and Faith grew fairly close. The newer, darker, Slayer was younger in years but ages older in experience. She was quick to assume a leadership persona that had Buffy following in her wake without question. ‘Girl had no lovin’ if misguided mum to soften her edges like my girl.’ The dark Slayer was primal.

Spike could see that attitude call to Buffy, or to her Slayer side, more and more. Fight hard, party hard, live fast and dance on the edge of careless disregard for consequence. The bird called it ‘want, take, have’, “That’s the demon’s three commandments right there. That Slayer demon essence in the driver’s seat full-on with this Faith bird.”

Didn’t matter the chits had a clue or not. All demons knew that Slayers were kindred, made up from the same stuff as the legions of demon species that were far from pure-bred variations of the Old-Ones. Difference was that the demon essence in the Slayers had been twisted and cultivated to make demons their prey.

‘Buffy’d be disgusted, ‘specially back then, knowin’ that. Just thinkin’ she’s got more than a bit of demon in her, powerin’ her up would mess with her mind. Hates the non-human reminders when not in battle-mode even without knowin’ the reasons. Okay enough then, what gives her the power to do her job to even enjoy the hunt and kill. Don’t like to think on it though.’

Spike could well understand why the Council didn’t clue the girls in on their origins. ‘Too confusing ‘specially as young as they are when called. Child soldiers bein’ sent out night after night huntin’ down and puttin’ paid to creatures related to ‘em in order to protect the other side of the family so to speak. Might make ‘em hesitate if they knew. Might make ‘em realize it’s not all cut and dried, them vs. us. Slayers are THEM and US in the end. Might just pick a different side of the family if they knew. Walk on the wild-side by choice.’

Like this Faith girl and her attraction to the call of the demon. Puttin’ aside the things that kept most Slayers on the straight and narrow. “No one guidin’ her either.”

Spike realized that plenty of humans operated on pure selfish mode too, demons didn’t corner the market. But, those lessons should come from a good Watcher to mind the mission, that the mission was pure… fight evil and that included your own selfish impulses. Faith didn’t have a Joyce instilling values or a Giles whose job was literally to watch for danger signs, nip things in the bud.

“Yeah, bloke got fired from the Council and only stayed out of love for Buffy but he should see this other wounded bird gettin’ close to that edge.”

Mostly Faith’s lures had been to party hard and tend towards the reckless. Spike watched Buffy as she felt both repelled and compelled with each shared patrol.

The part of Buffy that was still feeling a failure after the disaster of Angelus craved the idea that Slayers were, as Faith said, ‘better than everyone else’, could make their own rules, deserved their brief pleasure, and didn’t have to follow the rules others made for them, others expectations. Instead of the side-eye reproaches from her friends and always apologizing or second-guessing her personal choices, it was nice to have someone validate her urges and actions. Someone to not judge her for her slip the year before or her pull towards the vampire who had led her on a merry dance to disaster.

Faith got Buffy’s continued attraction to the Poof. Thought the vampire was a buzz-kill, but didn’t condemn Buffy’s choice, unlike the others.

Spike could see Buffy being seduced from two sides. Not just by the other Slayer and her indulgent philosophy but the Old Ponce and his subconscious games too.

Angel and Buffy both knew they played with fire. Spike knew Angel well enough to know that having a taste of Buffy only fueled his baser desires. ‘Git isn’t one to hold back HIS selfish demon urges forever either with or without that curse in place. Only a matter of time before that leash would be just loose enough to wreak havoc.’

He watched as his grand-sire played his reindeer games from the time he regained his strength. Spike figured that the Old Git was subconsciously punishing Buffy for that long road trip to the hell he’d planned to unleash on earth and try to rule. ‘Probly doesn’t even know he’s doin’ it but he blames Buffy for all that sufferin’ he earned for himself. Know him well enough to know the bastard don’t really take responsibility. Buffy’s blade sent him there and part of ‘Gelus hates her for it.’

Angel’s lips kept urging restraint and warnings then he’d ‘reluctantly’ push Buffy away claiming she was tempting him too much… too far… when his smaller head tried to control the show. ‘Berk wasn’t actively tryin’ to unleash the beast at least. Still, he knew better. Fucker had a century on me before I was sired. Not the most self-aware beastie but no idiot either. He knew.’

Platonic naps all snuggled together after Buffy’s patrols were a one-way road to major badness and Angel knew it even if Buffy in her continued innocence didn’t. She wasn’t his pure virgin Slayer any longer but also no jaded, knowing woman either. Sooner or later Angel would throw caution to the wind and convince himself that he could get just happy enough without that dangerous perfect part of it and … WHAM! Hello, Angelus part 2. They played with fire, dancing ever closer.

As if the naps, touches, and kisses weren’t enough… as if the longing, languishing sighs weren’t enough to fuel their bonfire then the half-naked Chinese flex and simmer would do the trick. Spike could nearly hear the demon in Angel snicker in gleeful anticipation. As for Angel, ‘well a clever Sod can rationalize any act. Started with the serpent in Eden if you buy into that story. Can make black sound white and evil sound good in no time, ‘specially if you’re bein’ offered just what you want.’

‘Tai Chi to center himself my rosy arse,’ Spike seethed. Pretentious Angel might actually want to get his Zen on but Spike knew well that there were other ways to find that center without putting on the show for the hormone bomb of a Slayer-in-love that was Buffy. The girl was already near starved for the touch already without all the slow-motion flexing of manly splendor being put on display to make Buffy’s needs notch up further. Angel’s arms sliding ‘round her to show her how to achieve that core peace and concentration was hitting every button Buffy had.

‘I know this game! Pull the girl in and look like you’re really pushing her away bein’ all responsible and gentlemanly like.’ Angelus had perfected that as part of his hunting kit ages ago. Get the girl/prey to make the fatal moves. Add in the seasoning of having the victim blame themself while the demon feasted on all that regret.

“No wonder the poor bint was one tight arsed mess! Havin’ to hold all her impulses in ‘cause those around her were yanking her toward the freedom she truly desired. Scared to let go a little bit lest there’d be no stop. Already found out what happens with Angel, has a good idea where the dark Slayer’s version of freedom might lead.”

Prior to the blissfully misfired spell that had catapulted the two of them into each other’s pasts, Spike would have said that Buffy was a self-righteous bitch with a stick so far up her arse that she could pull it out through her mouth. ‘Yeah, still loved her even if I didn’t realize it, but that was what I thought.’

It hadn’t taken too long watching her go from nappies to valley-girl-teen for him to see the error in that impression. That was part of HER self-protection. “Girl has so many layers to her armor that the chain mail alone must weigh a ton.”

Buffy’s tender, trusting, loving heart was well protected. Fear had driven her to it. Fear of her own nature. Her urges and needs and the struggle to keep them under control. Fear of embracing every part of herself and trusting herself to know how far to go, when to pull back, when to trust and when to run. She knew it well in battle just not in every other area of her life.

Fear of losing those she loved if she made a mistake. Fear of disappointing those she loved, fear of failing to protect the world that didn’t appreciate her.

Terrifying memories of being the human teenage girl yearning to learn and love only to release a true monster. Instead of just a bad first love, it was literally a near ending of the world in her case. No picking herself up from a wrong choice and just learning a lesson and all of it public among her nearest and dearest too. They all knew what she had done and the cost to so many.

She was also frightened of her Slayer urges and needs that bordered on that primal she saw in Faith. ‘Girl’s more scared of herself than she is of any monster she has to face nightly.’

And each misstep, every mistake, only served to make her less trusting of her own instincts outside the actual battle.

The demands and disappointment from those around her only compounded things. The sly reminders about the cost to THEM, the dangers she brought to their door.

It was also no wonder that Buffy had drawn those lines between Angel and Angelus. Needed to box things up all tidy-like to feel safe.

“This Faith has her share of issues too but her cover, her armor, is to make it seem like she don’t care at all. Keeps everyone away so there’s no one to disappoint. ‘Neath it all’s a chit as scared as Buffy only far more alone. Not gonna last long goin’ that route.”

This girl, Faith made Buffy scared not only of the dark but the dark within, and that was the scariest of all. It wasn’t that the two Slayers were so different, it was that Buffy saw the similarities far too easily. While it started out being a freeing knowledge, the more things that happened, the more consequence, the more terrifying it became.

Easy to go along with the aggressive Slayer when she rationalized breaking into a sporting goods store and taking needed weapons. Easy to see the reason for breaking out of police custody when caught too. After all, they had a world to protect. Serpent whispers always made sense at the start.

By the time an innocent was killed during a fight, Buffy had been sucked into following Faith’s lead. The human death had been a wake-up call for Buffy though. Not so much for Faith.

Faith did as you’d expect a terrified child with no guidance to do. She ran from her actions. “Too bad that. Happens in battle all the time. Innocents get killed. That’s why they call them collateral damage. Not a nice or pretty thing but not rare either. Vampires are in a human body for fucks sake, in the heat of a fight you don’t check for heartbeats. ‘Sides the man was there with all the vamps!” Spike didn’t see it as the actions of a bad girl or bad Slayer, just bad fuckin’ luck.

‘Course the bloody Watchers and Council didn’t see it that way. Instead of gettin’ the girl some counseling to deal with takin’ a human life they tried to ship her off for some kind of trial and judgment.’

Spike looked at Faith and just saw a girl who was let down by everyone she’d ever had in a position to help her cope as a person or as a Slayer. Buffy was too young to be expected to help her but at least she had tried. Even after the frightened girl had put the blame on Buffy for the death, Buffy had tried.

Spike was impressed with Harris too. He’d tried to step up and be a good and compassionate friend to Faith but she was just not in a place to trust anyone. Faith lashing out at him, nearly strangling him to death was unfair but to be expected. Cornered and wounded people react like any animal and lash out. For once Angel came in handy in saving the boy’s life and putting Faith in restraints; seemed a good move.

‘Course the bastard had to judge her on his own black heart though. Didn’t see anything but her sins. Hell, he’d have made a right proper vicar, ‘specially in the Puritan era with all the scarlet A type of handlin’ things.’ Still, Buffy’s plan to try to get through to the girl before she spun too far out was kinder than the less than loving call-to-judgment the Council of Wankers had in mind.

The girl had been off the rails but not beyond redemption. Angel should have started from that instead of getting all bad-cop on her. He had led with admitting he didn’t trust her and went downhill from there.

Angel had been right that killing a man would change her, would change anyone. But he went right to seeing her character through his own choices. Claimed to Buffy that Faith had a taste for it now. ‘She’s not you, you Berk. Buffy’s right. She needs help dealin’ not bein’ told she’s a bloody murderer just cause she accidentally killed someone who shouldn’t have been at a battle scene to start with. No wonder she’s tunin’ you out when you try to tell her to trust you.’

Her history didn’t give her a reason to trust anyone and her ninny of a Watcher’s actions only compounded the issue.

Was no surprise that the girl broke free and turned to the only person of power and responsibility to seem to give a damn about her. Set the Chit on a path leading straight to disaster. ‘Might as well have just gift-wrapped the poor bint and hand-delivered her to the annual Big-Bad themselves.’

***

No one clued in to Faith’s new alliance. At least the Council had been called off. She was putting on a good front to everyone but Spike could see it was just another suit of armor better suited to her new plans. She reeked of resentment. ‘Can’t blame her at least where the Council and their useless representatives are concerned. Gonna have a few words with Rupes once I’m back.’

***

Another one Spike planned to discuss with Giles was the little witch who not only could but did. “Well, if this spell on top of her last didn’t get the Watcher’s attention it’s only right I rub his nose into it. Girl has lots of power but no direction. Same as Faith. Same lack of self-esteem too.”

He could see Willow chafe at how everyone slotted her into the role of reliable side-kick that could be counted on to do their will without wondering or asking about her own. Even the school principal had her number.

“Willow knows she’s bright, been told her whole life how smart she is. Knows it’s true too. Just ‘cause she’s near-genius doesn’t mean she’s any more developed than any other teenager though. Doesn’t mean she sees her value, ‘specially when so many have made her think she has none except that big brain of hers. Doesn’t mean she knows how to process those emotions either not to mention that pretty impressive command of spells.”

Spike smiled as he watched the pencil twirl but his brows drew up in concern as he noted that as her emotions began to spiral the control over the spinning pencil lessened even as the twirl sped up. The pencil abruptly flinging itself into a tree embedding it deeply enough to dust a vamp gave him chills. The two girls laughed it off but that should have been a big red flag of warning. ‘Lots of power, no control. No clear realization of how dangerous that is either. Like I said, plenty smart but still just a kid. A kid with abilities and no one payin’ attention who should give her guidance.’

“This whole lot is like a pack of orphans most of the time! Absent, self-absorbed parents with the Scoobies. None at all for Faith. Buffy had Joyce at least, Giles too for all his faults. Every one of ‘em deserves better though.”

“Speakin’ of needin’ guidance…”

Spike recognized the demon-girl he’d met in the real-time hanging around Harris. He’d wondered how she’d latched on to the Slayer and her groupies. ‘Looks like her life as a demon wasn’t that long ago. Explains her awkwardness tryin’ to fit into the human world.’

Spike had known about Cordelia’s wish of course even if he hadn’t seen the whole of it. Saw more of the aftermath, same as Buffy. Seems Anya was the vengeance demon who created that other universe and lost her power-center in the process.

‘Hated losing her status as a vengeance demon. All that power gone, left to be nothin’ but just another teenage statistic with fewer resources. Must be hell bein’ that old and experienced stuck in high school and no one treating you like the knowledgable and ancient being you truly are.’

Hell, Spike could easily sympathize. He’s been a force of nature himself. He’d been high on the food chain, the Big Bad vampire whose very name and reputation struck terror into the hearts of Slayers and Council members alike. Now, thanks to the US Government and their hardware he was at the mercy of the weakest, youngest human child. ‘Soddin’ two year old could kill me. Embarrassing at the very least.” Yeah, he could sympathize with the girl.

She was another one he’d have to chat with Rupert about. Girl had to have all sorts of information in that ditzy head of hers. ‘ Walkin’ library of demon and dimensional info all goin’ untapped when it could help my Slayer every damned day.’ Was a waste, it was.

She clued in to Willow’s power right away. Had plans on opening a door to that universe she’d created and getting her power center back, putting aside the weak human life she’d been consigned to and becoming what she once was. Again, Spike could sympathize. ‘Like me wantin’ my chip out.’

It was interesting seeing what DID come out of that other universe. Willow was a bit of a terror with her magic use but was positively terrifying as a vampire! ‘Vampire Willow would give Angelus a run for his money.’

‘Then again both have a lot in common. Both think they know everything worth knowin'. Both think they should make the decisions, know what’s best for everybody. Neither pay the consequences for their mess-ups, not really… just forgiven and all under-the-rug.. Both got many of the same character flaws… yeah, Angelus would have competition.’

Willow had been horrified at the entirety of her vampire persona. The delicious evil and full embrace of the power tickled her insides uncomfortably. That inner darkness that played around WIllow’s deepest thoughts and desires more than troubled her when seeing them come to life. She had no desire to be turned; but to be that in control, to have that much command and power was enticing. They could all see how disturbed Willow was in meeting her doppelganger but none of them realized it was partly because she found it a bit seductive. She spoke her fears and showed appropriate disgust at the evil.

Giles had taught the Council dogma well and Buffy parrotted his words while trying to reassure the shaken Willow, “Remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was.”

Angel had looked startled and had started to correct that misconception only to shut up at a dark look from Buffy. “Wouldda been a good time to set the lot of them straight you coward. ‘Course that would also be outin’ yourself as the miserable lout you were as Liam.”

The lot of them were blind idiots not to see the lessons to be learned in seeing what the demon released in the red-headed teenaged-witch in that other world. The human made the vampire; was the source-data in computer lingo. The demon brought the bloodlust and took away the guilt and restraints but the human determined most of what mattered. Those character flaws so obvious in the vampire were there in the human chit too and every bit as dangerous. There were a lot more important details than Willow’s unexpected sexual orientation revealed if anyone had the good sense to look. Naturally, they didn’t.

“Gonna make sure no idiot ever turns her once I’m back. World don’t need another Angelus, ‘specially one with natural magical abilities”

Willow wanted to excel and likely would in whatever endeavor she undertook. ‘That’s all good and well unless it leads to the dangerous. Playin’ with magic like she continues doin’ is just askin’ for it.’ They should have all gotten that memo with the Will Be Done spell she’d recently done. ‘Got control issues, that one. Needs to set the world spinnin’ the way she wants it to if she wants to feel safe. Bein’ confident about that intellect’ll lead her to think she knows what’s best too. Road to hell’s paved in good intentions but still leads to hell.’

The way Spike saw it Buffy had a lot more to worry about with her fellow Slayer, her best friend, and the vampire she still thought she was in love with than the Mayor and his daft plans. The fact that two out of the three were human only made it worse.

“Yeah, can see how all that that went down back here left a big mark on my girl. Just glad she’s had the time to work through it trapped like we are. Might have continued down a bad road leadin’ to more hurt, more walls and pain otherwise.” He guessed he should be glad the little witch had continued down the path that had led to the spell that tossed Buffy and him into the past this way. His girl wasn’t likely to make the sort of mistakes she was headed for otherwise.

“Still need to put the fear of somethin’ in Giles though. Willow needs to be taken in hand before she becomes just another Big Bad that Buffy has to deal with.” Even with the changes, Buffy had made Spike doubted she’d handle having to kill her best friend well. ‘Not to mention the utter chaos an unspooled Willow would let loose on the world.’

A/N:
Long term effects from childhood abuse and neglect

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/long_term_consequences.pdf

Inferiority complex (Boy do nearly ALL our group suffer in one way or another!)

https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/understanding-inferiority-complex/

Carl Jung - Inferiority Complexes and the Superior Self

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsY19pHzuh4&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=AcademyofIdeas

Symptoms of an inferiority complex and how to overcome them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_BAfakzQ7I&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=RomanyMalco

The Teenage brain and its effects

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taId8GDrqRI&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=BostonChildren%27sHospital

Blame shifting

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6405044/

Narcissists, controllers, and the art of blame-shifting

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/202006/narcissists-controllers-and-the-art-blame-shifting

Revenge and the people who seek it

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2009/06/revenge

Robert W. Vanston, a good man (and that says so very much)

pfeifferpack — Sat, 23 Jan 2021 04:34:27 GMT

Didn't put this here (not on LJ as often) but my FB post from last week:

Just got news that the world lost one of its true angels.
My brother passed yesterday. He was a treasure who was literally beloved by everyone he knew.
He worked for Shell Oil in Houston for years before retiring to California. He golfed and skied and did marvelous wood carvings, genuine works of art. He was intelligent and loyal and loving.
I was proud to have him as my brother. He was in his thirties when I was born so we didn't "grow up together" but he was always part of my life and in my heart. We got closer as adults but not as close as I would have liked. He gave me my favorite doll when I was little and my first dog when I was 11.
He was a loyal and loving husband to his late wife and a loving, proud father of his three beautiful daughters. He was a proud and loving grandfather. He was a wonderful brother to me. He was a stellar human being.
He loved God and his faith was strong.
He was my baptismal godfather.
He loved his country, served in the Navy, and was an active citizen.
He had a quick mind and quick wit and forgiving nature.
The world truly is a bit darker without his light.
I am certain he is with God and that he was greeted by our father and his mother with love and is reunited with his beloved wife and eldest daughter who preceded him into eternity.
He would have made the century mark in August. Every year with him here was a blessing and God gave us 99 of them.
Rest in peace and love beloved brother. You were and always will be loved.
Robert William Vanston
1921 - 2021

Not in the FB post, Bob was 99 but in pretty good health. We all anticipated he'd be yet another of our family to go beyond 100 (would have made it in August). He was treated for low blood pressure issues but lived with his youngest daughter and still attended weekly church, went on outings with family (and traveled up until COVID last year having made trips to Hawaii and Alaska in the last few years). They had hospice help to monitor the BP issue. 2 weeks ago he started having breathing trouble. He had NO medical pulmonary issues at all prior. The hospice called to alert the family that the nurse that had visited that Monday had tested positive for COVID and the family was under quarantine. By the next day he was gaspng for breath and it only got worse. He passed after 12 hours of intense struggle for breath. Cause of death was Pulmonary distress and yes, he tested (post-mortum) for COVID.

I know that most people will say (and have said) that he was old and would have died any way. That may well be so but he did NOT have to die that way. Not gasping and in extreme distress. Because the family is under quarantine his adult grandchildren (who adored him) were not able to be there to comfort their mom. He was put into the storage morgue in San Francisco (they live in a suburb) awaiting cremation. He didn't have to go that way. He wore the mask. He stayed home even attending church online. He did it all right as did his daughter and the immediate family. It was brought in by someone that should have been safe but sadly was not (No, I don't blame the nurse... doubt she had a clue and they notified them right away).

Anyway. Bob should be remembered and his memory cherished. He should have had more adventures, carved more lovely sculptures, told more wonderful stories, had more fascinating conversations, died easier.

RIP my brother, you were a rarity... a truly good man.
Little sis, Kathy

2020 Christmas dragons

pfeifferpack — Fri, 25 Dec 2020 05:35:19 GMT

Older holiday dragons breeding for numbers

pfeifferpack — Sat, 19 Dec 2020 21:37:05 GMT

Eye of Eleos Chapter 72/

pfeifferpack — Wed, 09 Dec 2020 01:20:28 GMT

Note: Excerpts and summarizations from the book Spike is reading are in italics.

Chapter 72

Spike was growing impatient. “Who am I kidding. I’m no Sam Lawson needin’ some higher purpose. I’m a Knight without a Lady, a sad excuse for a vampire pissin’ and moanin’ because after a century of devotion Dru gave me the boot.”

He tossed aside yet another dusty book. His research had turned up all kinds of legends and myths. “That’s all they are too. Foolish nonsense, most poorly written too.”

He felt himself sink into depression once again. It had all sounded so reasonable. Joyce Summers had made him see that he needed to expand his horizons. ‘Was created for Dru. Made to love her, care for her, tend to her.’ Now he was adrift and purposeless. Drinking wasn’t even taking the edge off his despair any longer. Sooner or later he would find himself an ignominious pile of dust in some back street remembered by few and mourned by none.

Sam had found a reason to get up nights by putting his fangs to use in unacknowledged service to his bloody country. It Seemed Spike truly was love’s bitch only now his love had rejected him.

“Fat load of nothin,” he pushed the stack of books over in frustration and bit back a sob. He’d held on to the hope that somewhere in one moldering library or another he’d find something to spur him on a quest. ‘Knight without a Lady can still go on a quest.’ It had sounded like just the thing to make rising each night worth doing.

His eye landed on the carafe of alcohol that whispered an invitation to him from across the room. His pile of pilfered books was strewn on most surfaces of the small hovel he was calling home here in Granada and now even jumbled on the floor thanks to his latest burst of ill-tempered frustration. Eyes fixed on his prize he tripped over one of them.

The brown calf skinned cover and bindings bespoke great age. The gold embossed writing on the cover told of wealth and pride. The book was obviously one of a kind, likely privately produced work of vanity by someone with too little talent to find a commercial publisher and too much desire to let their tale go untold. ‘Can relate to that at least. Thought about payin’ to put my ruddy terrible poetry in print myself.’

Feeling a bit of sympatico with the unknown author, he picked up the volume with more care than he had been showing the books at this point and glanced at the cover. “Realato de la vida y aventuras de Alonso de Vasco, Conde de Amara Fielmente regislsado por so ama Lucia Ruiz y Ortiz” Spike smiled, “That explains that. Written by a chit. Not likely to find anyone willin’ to read it much less publish. Always harder for a woman to be taken seriously, specially back then.” He looked for a date in the flyleaf but it gave no answer.

“Probly some love story might even be spicy enough to amuse though. Girl flat out calls herself his mistress,” He sank into the chair next to the table holding the carafe of liquid comfort and decided to give it a read. “Let’s see just what kind of life and adventures this Alonso bloke supposedly lived. Hope his lover didn’t leave out any of the good parts, could do with a proper wank.”

Spike poured a glass of rich red wine and opened the volume feeling himself drawn back to Andalusia in the 1600s.

Buffy watched and wished Spike would read the book aloud but contented herself to watching as Spike’s body began to relax as he immersed himself in the tale. ‘At least he’s finding some peace for a change.’ She’d felt her heart break watching post-break-up Spike torture himself with blame over the loss of Dru’s affections. He hadn’t hit the same lows that he’d shown when he’d come back to Sunnydale looking for a spell to win her back but the blue devils had attached and he had been utterly miserable. Few things were as difficult as watching someone you loved suffer when you weren’t able to do a thing to try to help.

“Alonso de Vasco was a boy born to the wrong family in every way. Too pretty for the hard work of wine growing. Too poor to reach higher in station. Too filled with dreams and ambition to be happy in the fields of his father’s land however beautiful it was in the small village of Amara. The village itself was too small to even be marked on a map and Alonso yearned for the places he’d only heard of in passing. He hadn’t even been allowed to go on a trip to the Alhambra when his father attended business the previous year!

His mother was dark as befitting her Moorish roots. Her family had embraced the cross as a means of survival. Forced conversion was still conversion enough to save their lives. Alonso got his dark, sparkling eyes and wavy black hair from her as well as his dreams of more.

The furthest from his home that Alonso ever got was the trip to Maracena, tantalizingly close to the fabled fortified hilltop that once was the playground for his mother’s people when they ruled this part of the world. His mother had hopes of having her boy confirmed at the Cathedral in Granada but they had settled for the church that was so close yet so far from the place of a young boy’s dreams and a mother’s stories.

That one trip had lit a fire in the boy. A need for more than the vineyards and long days of working the soil could ever offer. He wasn’t meant for endless toil and stunted dreams.

He’d been relentless in trying to persuade his father to allow him to go along when it was time to take the wine, the literal fruits of their labor, to the south for sale. The best prices could be had in the markets near the ports and the lure of other places, other people, called to Alonso louder than ever.

He kissed his mama good-bye never knowing it would be for the last time.”

Spike took a drink and nodded in understanding. He had been a dreamer always reaching for more. ‘Sounds like this fella loved his mum too.’ Spike felt a moment of sympathy for his lover who had recorded the story and had been forced to self-publish. “Labor of love there. Wanted to make sure her man was remembered some way.” All in all, there was much that he found compelling in the story so he continued.

“The port of Malaga was filled with excitement and bustling with activity. Alonso’s father negotiated his wine sales with merchants and sea captains from far-flung places that the boy only dreamed of seeing. From the palaces of the Doges in Venice to cold northern places that the boy couldn’t even imagine. Wine was a popular commodity everywhere and his fathers was of the best quality. They were certain to fetch a large profit this time and the coming winter would be one of plenty.

Chaos erupted without warning in the port city and cries rang out in alarm, ‘Corsairs!! Run, hide!’

To an adventurous boy, the warnings were more of a siren’s call and he broke free in the confusion to get a better look. He’d heard of the pirates who plundered all of the Mediterranean and beyond striking fear into the hearts of land dwellers and taking slaves from their people.”

Spike had a feeling he knew where the next chapters would lead and he wasn’t disappointed. ‘Nothin’ like a rousin’ pirate tale to liven’ things up,’ he snickered and poured another glass. The dreamer in William imagined for a moment that the wine was of the same variety that young Alonso had been producing, it made him feel more a part of the story that way.

“Alonso’s fortunes fell spectacularly as he went from avid observer to participant in the pirate raid. The Barbary pirates were infamous and without pity. The pretty boy would make for a fine slave.

Alonso had listened in rapt attention when Miguel, his educated friend and fellow dreamer, had told him about the true-life adventure of the writer Miguel de Cervantes. The boys had enjoyed the bits of the talented writer’s novel about the old man who fancied himself a brave knight and tilted at windmills. That writer’s own life had been one of hardship but his years enslaved by the Barbary pirates, held along with his brother in Algiers for five years, had been fodder for the two boys to latch on to. The reality was nothing like Alonso had imagined.

The Corsairs were from many parts of the world, some as far away as England. Most had ‘gone Turk’ to escape slavery themselves as the Ottomans saved the harshest imprisonment for those not of the Muslim religion. Alonso managed to get word to his captors that his mother had come from a good Moorish Muslim family and might have escaped slavery altogether had he been able to actually recite from the Koran to prove his story. As it was he amused his captor and only spent a short time in the galley before joining the crew in plundering and sacking his way through the port cities of endless towns that fell to their scimitars.”

“Gotta give it to the lad, used his noggin’ and finally got his adventures.” Spike sipped his wine and nodded in approval.

“Alonso was amassing quite a fortune in gold and jewels. He’d managed to send some to his mother secretly knowing his father would have been outraged knowing the origins of the sudden wealth. He knew his mother well enough to know she would keep her knowledge to herself and find peace knowing her boy lived.

He’d established a small villa on the outskirts of Tunis where he lived in luxury but understated so none of those surrounding him might think to plunder the plunderer. His treasure, that part he didn’t need for his comforts, was well hidden on his land. One day he would return home and lavish his wealth on his mother, living like royalty but until then he enjoyed the conquests and challenge of a life mostly at sea.

All the buried treasure in the world couldn’t save him once he had been captured at last, however. The authorities despised the marauders who made trade dangerous and life often short for their people. Alonso was taken in chains once again only this time no plea of a shared religion would save him.

The magistrate listened to his much-redacted tale of having been captured and enslaved with skepticism. The young man was too finely dressed to be a slave. Alonso had woven a fanciful tale of a pride-filled owner who liked to keep his servants in better clothing to show off his wealth. His guileless dark eyes won him at least the benefit of the doubt and saved him from execution.

His sentence was finally decided. Conscription into one of the troops being gathered to shore up the excursions in the New World. He would be sent to the lands that were opened up by Hernando Cortes in the late 1500s. A land that promised great wealth to the rulers of Spain. This new place, this California, promised to be another chance at adventure more than the punishment intended and Alonso thanked his guardian angel for this opportunity.”

“Funny, that!” Spike laughed. “Here I am a continent and ocean away and still California calls.”

Buffy wished she was hearing the story to know how her home state played into this old book Spike was reading here in Spain. “Must be interesting. Spike hasn’t stopped reading and he’s even smiled lots of times.”

The story continued with one adventure after another as the young man grew and matured. Life in the army wasn’t as autonomous as his life as a corsair but there was enough action to make it worth his while. He discovered that the conquistadors were every bit as much pirates and plunderers as his former Ottoman fellows. He had just the skills to excel in his new role.

“Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo had conquered land far north from where Cortes had planted the flag of Spain. It was still all frontier in need of strong military presence but the actual conquest had been done long before Alonso arrived.

He was stationed inland a bit near a mission that served the local Spanish and Chumash faithful and it was there that he met the youngest daughter of a small landholder, Lucia Ruiz y Ortiz was barely fifteen and the most lovely girl he had ever seen.”

“Aha! Enter the mistress,” Spike shifted in his seat and prepared to read about their romance. “Must not have gone too well if he didn’t marry the chit.”

“‘Alonzo looked like an angel fallen from the heavens themselves.’ The description of their first meeting showed how besotted the girl was from the beginning. She spent pages describing how virile, how dashing, how amusing, was the young man who was paying careful court to her.

There was no way her father would ever see her married to a soldier no matter how charming, however. So the smitten couple kept their interests secret.

Lucia and her sister were beautiful and likely to fetch a fine marriage price in the right places. Their father already had plans to take Lucia and her elder sister on a husband-hunting expedition to the larger hunting ground of the more established parts of Alta California. Many wealthy and well-born men lived or visited the area of San Diego and it would be worth the trip to find proper husbands for his daughters. Such a journey was not without its dangers, however, and Senor Ruiz asked for a soldier or two to escort them on the trip.

Alonso volunteered and was assigned without drawing any suspicion. His love of adventure was well known by his fellows and the duty there at this minor post was far too tame for one such as he.”

Spike enjoyed reading the clever tricks the couple played to get time alone on the long journey and cheered them on. It was obvious to Spike that Alonso was as much love’s bitch as William ever was.

“Lucia’s father set his eyes on one of the top prizes available for his prettiest girl. The man was older but had immense wealth and was well known to be a close friend to King Philip IV of Spain. He had visions of marrying his Lucia to the man and perhaps taking his entire family back to the land of his father’s birth. A land of culture and civilization that suited his desires far more than the rugged world of California. His own father had come in quest of the fabled gold and had achieved as much as one could expect but nothing like the life Lucia’s father desired.

Alonso had watched in frustration as his Lucia was paraded like a prize cow before the man old enough to be her father. He thought of his distant buried treasure in Tunis and how his own wealth, had he had access, far surpassed what the courtier could offer. If he could only access even a portion of it he could approach her father and ask for her hand!

Alonso began to make inquiries with the thought of traveling across the world to dig up his future to lay before his beloved.

Fortune, they say, turns on a dime and as his luck would have it his inquiries put him in the right place and time to thwart an attack on his rival for Lucia’s hand. His quick action saved the man he most wished gone, at least from California.”

“Didn’t see that turn comin’;” Spike poured another glass. “Old Alonso tends to fall on his feet at least.”

Indeed, he did. “The courtier was so grateful for his salvation that he petitioned his friend the King and before any engagement could take place for his Lucia, Alonso found himself the newly minted Conde de Amara. The title was impressive but his financial situation hadn’t changed. Unless he retrieved his own fortune it was not enough to impress Senor Ruiz and win the girl.

With a kiss and a promise to return he spent a night of passion with his inamorata. Lucia vowed to remain his alone and not give in to her father’s pressure to wed. She had faith that her beloved would return and would make her his wife.”

“Bit disappointed the girl didn’t go into details but at least she didn’t go into flowery euphemisms about the big night,” Spike nearly pouted. “Can’t expect erotica from this time period I suppose, not from a good but fallen Catholic girl for that matter.” Still, the story was romantic enough to enthrall the man who would always still be William at heart.

The trip to Tunisia was long but uneventful so the chronicler kept it brief. Spike figured Alonso might have left out some of it when he told the tale to Lucia or perhaps the girl didn’t fancy sea stories.

“Alonso had no difficulties in digging up his treasure. He knew enough about how piracy worked to know how best to ship it as well with the greatest hope of safe arrival. He’d kept a bit out to sort some issues back in Spain before following his treasure to California.

He arrived a mere month late to see his mother for one last time but he managed to reconcile with his father and assure the old man a comfortable retirement from his labors.

He negotiated a land grant in the area of California where his enchantress grew up, the frontier area they could make into a kingdom of their own with the fortune he was sending ahead. The Boca del Infierno wasn’t land that was highly sought and Philip was still grateful for Alonso’s service. The papers granting him a large tract of land were recorded and sealed and Alonzo prepared for his return to the new world, a new life, and a new wife.

Luck, even for the luckiest among us, often runs out. Alonso had been a very fortunate man and the piper came for payment at last.

The vampire had come from nowhere and Alonso in all his wildest of fancies had never dreamed of such a creature to know to beware. His life had taken its first big turn in Malaga when he’d been captured by the pirates and now it turned again on the fangs of a vampire who didn’t even realize he was siring the young man leaving him in the dark alleyway in a pool of his own blood.

Alonso woke in terror and learned quickly and painfully what he now was. Dreams of Lucia and a family were dashed and he raged at the fate that had destroyed his future.

He penned a letter to her only to throw it away in disgust. How did one explain what had happened and how it ruined any chance they had for happiness?

He had fallen into the hands of a small nest of vampires who had shown him the life left to him, how to survive, what to fear. He supposed that was the better luck returning if in a macabre fashion. At least he had others to teach him new ways to be.

He still yearned for his Lucia. Perhaps she would still accept him? He was a monster now yet his heart was every bit that of a man.

He stayed in the background not interested in power plays in the nest. He picked up all his most valuable information just listening and keeping to the shadows. The vampires there shared bold tales and legends to amuse themselves and each other as they waited for the sun to go down. Alonso missed the sun almost as much as he missed his lovely Lucia.

It was one such day when one of the other vampires began a tale of a fabulous gem worth more than all other gems combined. It was the holy grail for vampires for centuries and the stories about it and its powers had been told for ages. Vampires had died in quest of this gem. Alonso was intrigued. What need did a vampire have for riches? Hadn’t he already learned that a vampire took what he wanted?

Another told the tale of a demon of great power and trials that, if one were to pass them, would give the petitioner their heart’s desire. It was said that no one had yet to pass the trials and that the demon was terrifying to behold. This demon lived in a cave in Africa not that far from the areas Alonso had spent his shore time while pirating. He was pretty sure he knew the actual area the vampire was describing.

What if he could pass those trials? Could he yet have a life with his beloved?”

Spike read on as the story went into great detail about the trip to West Africa and the search for the fabled cave. He scoffed at the claims of the trials and of Alonso being the only vampire ever to pass them. He expected Alonso to claim a return to humanity as his reward but was shocked to read what the actual prize was in the end. “Why ask for the bloody gem? Why not just pop on back to good old Cali all human-like and get your girl?”

Evidently, Alonso had the idea of doing all that, save the humanity part. He’d rather come to like the idea of living eternally at least if one avoided being killed. He imagined having it all. Getting the girl, having all that he’d imagined when he had originally left California with the added bonus of living forever, Lucia at his side. He knew he could convince her to join him in this new life. With the gem, they would be untouchable. They could even enjoy the sun once more. True there would be no children but their love was enough with just the two of them.

He paid a jeweler to set the gem in a fashion that he could wear though the book didn’t describe just what it looked like. Being free to be in the sunlight made the return passage as simple as the first voyage had been although Alonso had to take great care in concealing his dietary needs. He reluctantly lived on the numerous rats that infested all ships with human supplements when they made the occasional landfall.

“The winds were with them and the trip was much faster than had been expected yet still far longer than Alonso would have wished. Soon he would be in the arms of his beloved and nothing and no one would ever part them again. He had wealth waiting to be collected, had land granted to him and the title he’d been awarded but he also had power now. Her father would agree or he would regret it. Lucia would be his.

Time can be the worst of enemies. His trip to reclaim his fortune had cost him dearly.

His tryst with Lucia before leaving had not remained a secret. Within a few months, it had been impossible to hide. Her father was furious. No man, not the courtier or even a lowly soldier would have tainted goods. The babe was still-born and Lucia had grieved deeply. Her father had made her a virtual prisoner in his home not even permitting her to attend her sisters’ wedding. She had given up on any dream of a life at all much less with her Alonso.

He didn’t know any of that. He assumed the Ruiz family had returned home and that Lucia would be enraptured to see him again. He could see it all as if it were happening. He had turned enough of his treasure into easily transportable wealth. Had sent ahead builders and materials to provide a home worthy of his Lucia with enough protected spaces for when one or the other had to stay out of the sunlight. He would look into a way to make the gem sharable in some way in time.

It was only upon reaching the Ruiz casa that his dreams were crushed. He was denied entry. The people in the settlement told of the ruined girl and dead babe. Told him of her father’s cruel punishments. Alonso made plans to rescue his darling even if it meant ripping the throat of her father and watching him bleed out to do it.

He buried his treasure on his land and had the builders continue their work as he made plans. Every day he tried to gain an audience with Senor Ruiz only to be turned away. He caught no sight of Lucia herself until one day he spotted her in the window of her prison.

The lovers found ways to communicate until finally plans were laid and he finally managed to free her from her father’s home.

They fled and took shelter in one of the many caves in the cliffs as her father searched for them in vain. That was when he told her his tale, the very tale she was recounting in this book.

Lucia was terrified of becoming a demon. Of losing her heartbeat. She was more frightened of losing Alonso again though and agreed to his mad plan.”

She described her turning lovingly and her rising as one of joy. Lucia insisted on being the one to confront her father, of making sure the man knew his hold over his daughter had ended with her death.

“Bloody naive pair the both of them. Not gonna work well for either of them.” Spike knew the tale was near an end and found himself hoping that somehow they had managed to survive. Maybe they were out there in the night even yet.

“Senor Ruiz was horrified. His daughter had been despoiled, ruined and now was given over entirely to the devil and his human-looking agent. No amount of novenas or penance would save her from damnation. He blamed her but even more the monster who had caused all this disaster.

Lucia had the gem, had needed it to pay the visit to her father in the daylight. Ruiz left her crying and set out to confront Alonso.

Lucia wasn’t present but her father relished telling his daughter how he had destroyed the creature who had caused all this grief. She had run to the cave and found her beloveds bones.”

“Bones?” Spike was flabbergasted. “Vampires don’t leave bones. Well maybe ancient ones like bat face I suppose but Alonso’s just barely been turned?” He thought about vampire lore and the different lineages. Knew he’d heard of some that had major differences like Dracula and his special tricks. Had heard about one line that didn’t dust, merely went to bones. “Maybe the vampire who sired Alonso was of that line?”

“Lucia was inconsolable. She killed her father in a rage and then kept vigil over the bodies of the two most important men in her short life, grieving one and cursing the other.

Lucia was vague about her life after Alonso’s final death. She told of burying him and his treasure in the cavern. She wanted no part of the fortune that had taken her lover from her and led him to his doom.

She took the time to write the account of his life, of their love. She sent it to a typesetter to have it produced in this volume and put in the library in Granada so her beloved Alonso would live on in some way. Once she had arranged all to her liking she went to the tomb where he lay, removed the gem, and joined him in the only eternity left to them.”

Spike sat in silence as he closed the book. “Now that’s a quest worth taking. Lost love, tragic ending and all. Alonso was a right one, full of adventure and never lost his love for life or his woman. She was true too. Maybe I could check this story out, see how much of this tale’s true. Make for a worthy quest and if this gem does exist… well pretty sure old Alonso would figure me a proper one to get it. Think we could’ve been mates.”

Spike drank the last of the wine and thought. Boca del Infierno was the ancient name for only one place he knew of in California. “Funny, that. Lookin’ for a quest and it takes me right back to Sunnyhell.”

A/N:
Barbary pirates/ corsairs

Disgruntled Moors became pirates who preyed on Christian ships. Piracy in the southern Mediterranean became a huge problem from the 16th to the 18th centuries. Many countries agreed to pay protection money to the state-sanctioned pirates, in exchange for having their ships left alone.

The Barbary Pirates and The War You’ve Never Heard Of

https://tinyurl.com/y4on9nar

Granada and the Alhambra

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEseJViidy8&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=RickSteves%27Europe

Moorish Spain

In A.D. 711, a group of North African Muslims led by the Berber general, Tariq ibn-Ziyad, captured the Iberian Peninsula (modern Spain and Portugal). ... Eventually, the Moors were expelled from Spain. The Alhambra, a Moorish palace and fortress in Granada, Spain, was described by poets as a "pearl set in emeralds."

Between 1609 and 1614, on royal orders, almost all of the formerly Muslim population of Spain, known as the moriscos, was expelled from the country

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-Andalus

https://www.spanish-fiestas.com/history/moorish-spain/

https://theculturetrip.com/europe/spain/articles/spains-7-must-visit-moorish-sites/

Malaga and the Barbary pirates

https://www.visit-andalucia.com/one_post.php?id=720&title=the-barbary-pirates-scourge-of-the-andalucian-coast

Short overviews on Barbary pirates

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGWsyrpqTsE&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=OrdoVeritatis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z31mdgz19pM&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=HikmaHistory

Cervantes (with notation of his imprisonment by the corsairs)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miguel_de_Cervantes

Europeans' contact with California began in the mid-1530s when Cortez's men ventured to Baja California. Not until 1542 did Spaniards sail north to Alta California, and Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo's expedition that year made landings as far north as modern Santa Barbara.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_California_before_1900

Santa Bárbara, Chihuahua, was established in 1567 by Spanish conquistador Rodrigo del Rio de Losa during the rule of Francisco de Ibarra, governor of the state of Nueva Vizcaya, New Spain. Santa Barbara is the city Joss used as the template for Sunnydale.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Santa_Barbara,_California

https://www.independent.com/2011/04/11/what-did-early-spanish-settlers-eat/

https://www.loc.gov/collections/california-first-person-narratives/articles-and-essays/early-california-history/spanish-california/

new dragons

pfeifferpack — Sat, 07 Nov 2020 23:07:28 GMT

Eye of Eleos Chapter 71/

pfeifferpack — Wed, 04 Nov 2020 00:49:56 GMT

Episode The Zeppo (written by Dan Vebber) also some events from FFL (written by Douglas Petrie) are eluded to. Keep in mind that ghostly Spike can only see things that Buffy would be able to see or going on close to her physically because he’s attached to her. Many events in the episode The Zeppo that happened to Xander took place out of Buffy’s sight so Spike wouldn’t have seen them. This includes Xander’s tryst with Faith.

Chapter 71

Spike had watched the gaggle of Gits frantically fighting off some members of the Sisterhood of Jhe. “Bloody stupid cult. Lookin’ to bring an end to the world. Never understood what those types of mental midgets think to get out of actually pullin’ off their plans.”

In the process, Harris had been knocked out cold. “Gotta give it to the boy. He can be plucky. No real skill but game to give it a go.”

Seemed the Scooby team had seen Xander as the weakest link as well because to Spike’s surprise they were letting the boy know in no uncertain terms that he was not to help with this particular battle. ‘Not even havin’ him go on a donut run. Pretty hard on the blighter not bein’ part of the team.’

It was strange watching the group without the boy being in the thick of things. No bad and inappropriate jokes. No heavy carb food runs. No unintentional asides that led to unexpected insights either.

‘So Harris is sidelined and Angel moves to the center. Surprised the Watcher lets him anywhere near him after what he did to his lady.’

Watching the Watcher was illuminating. ‘Seems the old man has sources beyond the Council and those half-accurate at best books.’ Spike watched Giles throw the last of those tomes on the pile of other rejected resources. All he’d managed to get from them was the identity of the demons they had been fighting and that group’s ultimate goal. Nothing about how to defeat them or any non-vague prophecy that might help.

‘Looks like Rupes has some connections in the demon underground,’ Spike smirked watching Giles turn to magic and demon contacts in a futile attempt to find a way to save the day once again.

In the end, the Slayer and her team, less the boy, saved the day. Angel contributed his muscle. And Spike felt like bleaching his eyes after watching the great git and Buffy playing their tragic lovers games pre-battle.

Buffy was worried about her poor “fragile” former lover. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Let me decide for you.”

“Sure, you’re good at that, Poof! Make all the girls decisions for her just like you always do for everyone around you. The great all-knowing Angelus must be in charge. Arrogance enough to challenge Gods there,” Spike sneered.

Buffy was in tears and wasn’t that the normal state of things during that train-wreck of a relationship! “I can’t watch you die again,” she cried and snuggled even closer.

“I’m not ready to lose you,” Angel replied.

“Poor Buffy missin’ out on how even that’s all about him. Not upset about the loss of his girl just HIM not being ready to lose her. Everything revolves around the great Angel, always has and always will.”

Spike had never been happier to see Xander in his life as the boy burst in on the overwrought scene breaking the couple apart and returning them to the mission at hand.

Spike managed to see what the gang didn’t as he noted that Xander played a part in the battle even as he’d been sidelined officially. ‘No idea what all those Zombies were about but the boy did a fine job of keeping their bomb from making things worse. Good on him! Goes to show that even one person, even a complete Wanker, can make a difference ‘specially if it’s for the right reasons. Help save the whole bloody world.’

That was one of the many things that Spike loved about his girl. She had a heart big enough to love all her ragtag bunch of misfit toys. She forgave and forgave even when she shouldn’t. “Her kindness and caring make her glow. Light so bright a bloke wouldn’t miss the sunlight. She burns in a way that makes me feel alive. Burns away all the bad, all the desire to do evil just to be in her presence.”

He wished she could be there with him so he could tell her how she touched him, changed him. ‘Wasted my time chasing Dru, tellin’ myself that was a proper kind of love. If I’d stayed in Sunnydale I’d be with Buffy now.’

Then he thought about all that led him to Rupert’s flat and the spell that had seemed to have given him all he could have dreamed of and more and put aside the ‘what-if’s’ and was just grateful that it all had led him to this point.

***

Buffy was proud of Spike as he drove southward. ‘Not a drunken mess,’ she cheered. He was a man on a mission. A failed one, she knew, but not broken this time. ‘Glad he had mom to help him stop wallowing.’

His talks with her mother seemed to have ignited his self-esteem at least a bit. No more a groveling, desperate, spurned lover grasping for crumbs, settling for whatever he could get. Spike seemed to finally realize that Dru would either take him back on his terms or that it was time for a clean and final break.

“Poor poodle can’t help but what she is. A century and no change! Bein’ with her daddy again only set her back to the beginnin’ Take another century just to get where we were.” He lit a cigarette and exhaled slowly as he thought. It had been lowering catching her romancing a Chaos demon with its dripping antlers and playboy attitude. The shock had sent him reeling back to Sunnydale in a drunken quest to find some way to win back her devotion. “Such as it is,” he admitted.

“Loves me. Know she does. Just not enough. Not enough for either of us,” he closed his eyes in sorrow. “Never gonna be happy. Daddy saw to that. Still need to be sure she’s not willin’ to at least give it a go with the same goal this time.”

Once more Spike regretted not sending the great Poof back to the hell that had inexplicably spit him back out. “Gonna do the same with the Slayer as he did to Dru before he’s done.” He was surprised at how much that idea bothered him.

His ghostly passenger had to agree. Buffy knew how Angel’s manipulative games that last year had taken a toll on her teenage self. She felt guilty for years even after the spell thrust her into the past. Situation after situation had layered more guilt on her until she had nearly broken.

Trying to be what Angel told her to be, want what he insisted she want, had only led to the heartbreak of Parker. Instead of a simple one-night-stand that could be seen as a learning experience, it became proof of her failures all over again.

She had her litany of “facts” that became her private gospel. She had caused Angel to lose his soul. She had been too much of a temptation for him to be able to stay and help. She should desire a normal life. Angel left her with so many false narratives that led her to make blunder after blunder and come out of them feeling diminished; a failure.

The others had their expectations too a lot of them echoing Angels. She also got the message from Giles and the gang that they also lost trust in her for unleashing Angelus. They never talked about it but Buffy had internalized it all. She had been too young and immature to look at it from a proper perspective. Been too afraid to examine what she might actually want with her own life. ‘Kind of like the same place Spike was but I didn’t talk to mom like he did.’

‘If this spell hadn’t happened, I’d probably just keep spiraling down. Who knows when or if I’d ever have seen things clearly, been able to move on to something healthy.’

Spike shifted gears and continued his journey back to Dru. “Gonna tell Dru what I need for a change. What I expect, what I’ll stand for. Bloody tired of makin’ myself what she wants… or tryin. Problem is I can’t be Angelus. Never liked the pre-game. Give me fists and fangs and a brilliant brawl. Feed when hungry and enjoy the good and beautiful in life. Not ashamed... evil vampire here, no plans to shove a white hat on my head. But, not a rapin’, torturin’, Hollywood cliche either.”

He made a sharp turn away from the coast leaving the Baja Pennensula heading into Sonora. He had a lot of miles and countries to get through before he could face off with his Sire, providing she hadn’t moved on again.

‘Probably still somewhere in Brazil.” The combinations of cultures drew her. The active demon life in many of the coastal cities just added to the allure. “Rudolph the Drippy Reindeer wasn’t the first. Wouldn’t be the last either.” Practitioners of Macumba often were drawn to Dru because of her sight so she had plenty of human potential lovers too. ‘Regular buffet of gits sniffin’ after her.’

Spike knew it wasn’t that Dru found him unattractive. William might have had no confidence in his ability to draw women but Spike had used his charms and allure successfully for decades when luring the lovelies to their doom. Could have filled his bed any day too with little effort. “Not some lame Nancy vamp either like those books the birds swoon over. Makes it easier to hunt though. Line up offerin’ their necks hopin’ for some undead lovin’,” he laughed. “Gotta be a vamp publishin’ that rot. Nothin’ romantic about fangs drainin’ ya. That way leads to the big death, not the happy little ones.”

Buffy had to agree. She thought about the kids at that club that Ford lured her to in order to make a gift of her to Spike. “Good thing he DID love Dru. Gave the whole plan up to save her from my stake.”

“Be my own man, not some second-string daddy. If that’s not good enough for her, then time to move on,” Spike’s eyes teared up because deep in his heart he knew how it was going to go. “Past time.”

As happy as Buffy was to know that Spike had moved on from Dru in the world she came from she understood the pain of letting go of the dream that only first love seemed to inspire… even in a vampire. Spike would still be hurt.

“Glad the little witch didn’t do a spell. Love’s not love if it ain’t real. Had enough pretend to last eternity.” Spike firmed his jaw. “Never really gave an ultimatum and mean it before. Maybe it’ll scare my dark dove into seein’ what she has to lose.”

***

Spike pulled over somewhere in Honduras in the shelter of a grove of ceiba and slept deeply.

Buffy watched him and smiled fondly as she noted that even asleep he still drew the occasional unnecessary breath.

She reached out her ghostly hand and itched to run her fingers in his sleep tousled curls. Her vampire really was a pretty man, all hard edges and tight muscles yet still bits of softness like those curls and his so kissable lips. His expression melted to softness too more often than he’d care to know. Eyes that melted with emotion. Just like his personality, he was a contradiction in terms. Hard but soft inside and out. She’s figured that out early on in their acquaintance.

Buffy let out a puff of laughter. “God when DID I start to love you?” At this point it seemed like forever yet Buffy remembered well how far from even fondness she had felt before the spell.

She’d been with Spike now since his childhood and had come to know him better than any person she’d ever thought she knew. She’d appreciated William and had seen the many ways his being turned hadn’t altered the core of him.

William had been a caregiver, eager to please those he loved. Spike had continued in that same vein.

He’d never stopped loving his mother or seeing to the welfare of his people. Even now he kept an eye on his father’s legacy, making certain that the extended family continued to prosper. He had a strong sense of responsibility and honor that stayed even if it took on a different look in some ways once he took on the demon.

She remembered how Spike was perhaps TOO responsible in his care for Dru. Letting her walk all over his heart over and over.

His sense of honor showed in how he only fought to the death in his encounters with Slayers when he felt it was an even battle.

“I knew on some level about that honor code of his or I never would have trusted the truce, never let him in my house where my mom was so vulnerable. Always knew he wasn’t going to sneak in to kill her in her sleep. I knew he’d keep his word when he gave it.” She shook her head as she considered how different it would have been with Angelus. There was no honor there, nothing to trust. Even with the soul, he could be as twisty as a snake in the pursuit of his own ends.

She smiled at her subconscious wisdom that had known there was no reason to disinvite Spike once the truce had ended.

“Oh yeah, no sugar coating it. You’re NOT a saint or poster boy for fluffy puppies,” she quirked a brow and smiled down at the sleeping vampire. “I saw tons of awful too. Blood and violence enough for any six vampires. Guess I finally had to start seeing that reality. You are a vampire, not a human and I can’t fairly judge you by human standards. That blood lust and need for violence is as much a part of you as the caring and honor.

Maybe seeing all the evil first hand had shown her how he had grown, changed over the years. Once out from under the tutelage of Angelus he seemed to listen to his better instincts more often than not, usually trying to err on the side of love. With no one and nothing to guide him but those core traits, he was often finding himself on a path that tended towards the light or at least love. He’d been on a long journey towards being a better man even with stumbles and falls.

She let her mind go over all she’d seen and learned as she pondered the lessons and insights she eventually matured enough to process.

“You were never Angelus though, much as he tried to make you into a 2.0 version of himself. Not the Master who shook off all his human bits either. You were no Lothos who preyed on brand new Slayers and basically murdered them before they could fight you fairly. No, not a saint but not a devil either usually.”

Buffy wondered not for the first time about the influence of nature versus nurture. “Probably just like the whole black and white thing… it’s not that simple. Most likely it’s a bit of both. William was a sweet, loving, good guy even if a bit socially inept. Considering how much of him stuck around after turning, maybe a different sire, different vampire family, you’d never have had all the harder edges develop. Maybe you’d be more like the Spike you are now but earlier on.”

She’d seen it when he was on his own. Seen that he didn’t seek out orphanages or massacres. Saw him drawn to humans, especially those who created things of beauty, never wanting to destroy them or make a meal of them. Watched him build his armor, create his persona first as a street thug then settling into the punk he still favored. An image that proclaimed, “Big bad here, don’t fuck with me.”

He’d tried so hard to win Angelus’ approval and Dru’s love. His worst acts had always been in service to those goals.

“Maybe if he’d had a mentor like he was to Sam Lawson he could have left fewer bodies in his wake.”

She grinned, “Of course he’d always be up for a good brawl. He loves to fight as much as I do. That’s the nature part.”

“Maybe if I hadn’t seen all the human evil in the world over the years I’d be less forgiving,” she considered. Demons had no corner on the evil market, on slaughter, rape, perversion, and every other sin laid at the door of demonkind alone. Humans were quite efficient and cold-blooded killing machines themselves.

“It’s not about demons versus humans. Evil’s out there, even with souled humans. Maybe that makes it worse in a way because they should have an easier time making the right choices. Empathy should come easier with a soul.”

Even so, she’d seen Spike make right choices, show empathy even if limited to those he liked or admired (or pitied a time or two). It had nothing to do with a soul.

Buffy remembered a sermon from a rare childhood Sunday at church with her grandparents. The preacher had talked about sin nature and that being the cause of all the badness in people. He’d said that everyone had a sin nature. Buffy didn’t think that really explained it, at least not completely. Sure everyone had failings. Had things they found tempting, at times too tempting. But that didn’t explain murder or rape or some of the other truly bad things humans did. “Everyone might have that whole sin nature thing but not everyone goes that deep into the dark.” No, that didn’t explain many of the horrors she’d seen. Evil did though and it came in human form as well as demon.

“If I hadn’t been so blind, I would have seen that before the spell.” She’d seen humans doing terrible things. She’d met innocuous and even peaceful demons. Still, she’d clung to the simple answers. “Guess I needed a century to work things out. Still working them out really.”

Not all demons were alike either. They were individuals, just like humans. They had that ability to fall to temptation, go to the dark but it wasn’t a given. Those without much in the whole thinking area might be a different thing but those demons who did think, feel… well they were not all the same at all.

Buffy considered what would have been the likely response of an unsouled Angelus if he’d been chipped as Spike had been.

“It wouldn’t have stopped Angelus. He might have come to us, but only to set us up for attack.” So many ways to torture or kill us all even with a chip. “Spike chose to change with the circumstances. He’s smart enough to know how to poison us or bully some minion into killing for him. Clearly, he didn’t want us dead.”

Once again he’d rolled with the punches and reinvented himself. Once more he chose the path leading to light not dark.

Loving Spike was so different from loving Angel. She’d loved the IDEA of Angel without really knowing him. The older, mysterious guy who knew just when to give and when to withhold. The romantic cock and bull story about how he was unique because of the soul and was there to help her. “Funny! Angel started off telling me he was there to help me but hardly ever did. Spike’s first statement was that he was there to kill me and he never managed to try hard enough.” She laughed.

She came to love Spike because she DID know him. The bad and the good, the core of him that defined who he truly was, that transcended mere actions and bad choices. The same core that defined William also defined Spike.

She looked at her sleeping vampire with tenderness. “Yeah, I’ve seen all your changes. I love you because I KNOW you, the good and bad. I know you have it in you to be a good man, MY good man.

***

Spike had managed to track Dru down eventually. Between plenty of signature massacres and a string of lovelorn demons left in her wake, it hadn’t been too difficult. “Better hope she takes me back. Needs someone to keep her from goin’ off rilin’ up the natives with her lack of self-control.”

When he found her she was in Salvador on the Brazilian coast. Sao Salvador da Bahia de Todos os Santos in its full name was the capital of the state of Bahia and quite lovely. So far Dru hadn’t slaughtered the locals but did seem to be on the lookout for a new bed partner. ‘Guess Mr. Slimy Antlers wore out his welcome.’

He’d found Dru trying to coax a young man to his doom outside a rodizio. ‘Fella has no idea that he’s the steak she has in mind.’

“Hello, pet. Did you miss me?”

Dru growled as her prey was released from the thrall and high tailed it out of the alcove and away from the fangs she had only just displayed.

“Spike. I thought you ‘ad finally found your proper nest,” Dru smiled wanly. “Mummy ‘as been ever so busy playing with all the lovely new dollies and dancing with moonbeams.’

“Saw the wake you left. Gonna get another disaster like Prague if you don’t pull in the reins a bit, luv.”

Dru giggled. “Not many Priests for a Catholic country, my Spike. ‘ere there’s plenty of Candomble and Macumba but they respect me. Like a living goddess I am.”

“Even those that understand the supernatural can only take so much blood, Dru. Best keep that in mind.”

“Did you come all this way to spoil all my fun?”

“No sweetheart, came all this way to try to set things right between us. Not goin’ back to bein’ your lapdog. You don’t respect me that way. Best to be partners and all equal like.”

Dru whined. “But I like my vicious doggie.”

“Need more than you likin’ me and treatin’ me like a pet you can scold or treat as it pleases you. Need to know that I matter, that I’m not just some place-holder for your blasted daddy.”

“You betrayed daddy, naughty boy. Should be punished.” Dru brightened. “Is that why you’re back? Did you come so that mummy could properly punish you for being a bad dog?”

“Not as such.” Spike reached around his neck and scratched at his nape. “No… not at all. Not sorry for what I did. Told you and told you that your precious daddy was about to bugger up the whole bloody world. You wouldn’t have liked the end result. Did what I had to so as to keep you safe.”

Dru seemed to lose her hostility. “We’ll go ‘ome and talk a bit before the sun comes. My Spike is weary from the journey,” she took his hand and led him to her lair.

They did talk and Spike laid out what he expected and Dru listened, being in one of her more lucid periods. ‘Maybe all that blood’s done her some good after all.’

She didn’t argue but didn’t agree either.

When Spike woke at sundown Dru was gone. He suspected she was out to complete the hunt he’d interrupted the night before.

“Might slip out for a bit myself,” he decided.

***

Having played catch and release with three separate tourists Spike was sated and eager to return to the hotel room and Dru. Maybe he’d gotten through to her after all this time! Maybe all it took was standing his ground and demanding respect.

That hope was dashed as he walked in on Dru writhing under the most disgusting demon he’d ever seen. Three-eyed, pink leathery skin, two small curved horns, and a back coated in slime. “A bloody Fungus demon!!! God, Dru I thought you couldn’t go lower than that Santa reject of a herd animal but this is thousands of times worse!” The fungus oozed as the demon reacted to the insult dripping the green mess onto the blanket.

“A girl has to ‘ave ‘er pleasures, Spike.”

“Guess I got my answer then,” he closed his eyes and let out a pained growl.

Dru looked directly at GhostBuffy as Spike began to throw his few belongings into the bag he’d barely unpacked the night before. “Sending ‘im back to you, sunshine. Time passed too quickly. My pretty Knight was meant for the deadly sun, not broken dollies whot can’t play nice even if they wish they could,” she whispered. “Treat ‘im well and ‘e will be all you could want. Made just for you, the Pixies planned it all.”

Spike was too busy talking to himself and fuming in disgust to hear her quiet words but Buffy did. She nodded to Dru in understanding and gratitude.

“...too bloody broken to know what’s good for you,” Spike continued his monologue. “Not comin’ back this time, poodle. I go out that door and it’s the last time.”

He looked at Dru, still dripped with slime and with a wistful look on her face. “Never wish you less than well. You need to find somethin’ better than that,” he pointed to the scowling Fungus demon. “Somethin’ or someone who’ll care ‘bout more than ticklin’ your fancy. Someone who’ll keep you from walking… no runnin’ into disaster.” He grabbed his bag and tenderly ran a finger down Dru’s cheek as in farewell. “I mean it love, please take care. Hate to think of a world without you in it.”

And he was gone.

***

Spike drove non-stop to Caracas before formulating even a tiny plan. He’d thought about just returning to Sunnydale but didn’t want to face Angel again at this point. ‘Too tempting to just dust the Wanker for all the damage he’s done.’

Instead, he put his baby in storage and took passage on a boat that led to Puerto Rico and to points north. The whole way gave him time to think about his plans. His whole unlife had revolved around loving and caring for Dru. Now the slate was clean.

Joyce had said he needed to be who he truly was, act according to his own values, and live the life that gave him joy not worrying about pleasing his mad sire. “But who am I if I’m not love’s bitch?”

What he needed, he decided, was a purpose. “Sam knew that from the start.” Need to figure out what DID make him happy and how to shape a life that offered it. “Maybe Sam can give me a hand in figuring it all out. Wonder where he landed since I heard from him last?”

“Got no plan to go off soldiering but the lad had a good head on his shoulders and knew how to make a life for himself without needing someone else to define him. Could have a worse sounding board.”

***

Turned out Sam Lawson was still fighting the good fight. This time it was the Balkan wars and Kosovo that had drawn him into the fray.

“Not a soldier in someone else’s war, mate,” Spike replied when Sam suggested that he’d been perfectly happy going from warzone to warzone and feasting on the “enemy”.

“Saw what happened to my da. Never the same after he came back from Crimea. See blokes on street corners all over America still sufferin’ from what they did, what they saw. Hell… saw plenty during the big wars, you remember that!” Sam nodded and shuddered at the memory of some of the more horrific deeds he’d witnessed, all done by humans too.

“Just no stomach for it. No dog in the game like you’ve got. Regular Captain America you are, patriot to the bone. Me? I’m a man without a country. Hell, not even a man really. Was a Brit, but haven’t been back in a dog’s age. Not bloody fond of the ones runnin’ the show at the moment, not enough to care about their political games at least.”

“So…” Sam took a deep drink of his beer. “What makes you happy?”

Spike shrugged and looked sheepish, “You know me.”

“Aside from playing knight to your lady that is.”

“No lady now to play any role for.”

“Come on, Spike. You have more interests than that. We did a fair amount of wandering without Dru back in the day.”

“Well, there’s dog races…”

Sam sputtered and laughed loud enough that it drew attention.

“Can’t see that becoming an eternal pursuit. Come on, Captain, you’ve got more interests than any other vampire I’ve met since Angel turned me. Think.”

“Always did love things of beauty. No talent for makin’ it though.”

“What was your last quest? Something that really took hold, drove your engines?”

Spike thought about it. “I suppose lookin’ for the cure for Dru. Lots of research, lots of legends to sniff out, prophecies and the like. Finally found it, got her strong and as healthy as she’s ever gonna be.”

“Aside from the worry, did you enjoy the hunt for the cure?”

“Yeah. Always did like research back in school.”

“Why not pick out a legend that strikes your fancy, follow it, and see where it leads?”

“Look for my sword in a stone, get all Kingly,” Spike joked.

“If that floats your boat sure but my guess is it’ll be something more impossible. You can be the Don Quixote of the vampire world, Captain,” Sam slapped his shoulder then ordered another round.

***

Buffy followed Spike as he wandered through the Mediterranian countries listening to legend after legend looking for something to capture his interest.

Finally in a small cafe near the Alhambra in Grenada Spain Spike’s ears perked up. A pair of vampires in a demon bar were laughing about a sect of vampires in the tenth century who had all searched the globe for some shiny bit that would make a vampire invincible even able to walk in the sun.

‘Be nice to be out in daylight. Not have to worry about close encounters with wood.’

“Wouldn’t catch me wasting my time like that,” a pockmarked vampire chortled. “Pretty invincible like I am. Just give me a juicy neck and a cozy nest and I’m satisfied.”

Spike casually ripped his head off his shoulders out of principle, “Can’t stand vampires with no ambition beyond their belly. Give us all a bad name.”

The others sat, mouths agape, and hoped this interloper had his fill of violence.

“So, wanna tell a tourist about this bauble that bunch of losers never found?”

***

Buffy watched Spike as he poured over the ancient book one of the low-life vampires had suggested. Relato de la Vida y Aventuras de Alonso de Vasco, Conde de Amara was emblazoned on the cover.

Buffy was pleased that Spike continued his habit of talking out loud to himself.

“True story of the life and times of Alonso de Vasco, count of Amara as faithfully recorded by his mistress, Lucia Ruiz y Ortiz” He gave a wicked grin. “Well, it’s likely a rousing read even if it turns out to be utter rot.”

A/N:
Ceiba trees

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ceiba

Candomble

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candombl%C3%A9

Macumba

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macumba

Fungus demon visual (or… really, Dru? Proving that madness there!) https://buffy.fandom.com/wiki/Fungus_demon

The demon was mentioned in one line (“She left him for a fungus demon. It’s all he talks about some days.”) Harmony Line in Harsh Light of Day. It is also featured in the comic Spike and Dru: Who Made Who?

Salvador, Brazil

https://www.fodors.com/world/south-america/brazil/salvador-and-the-bahia-coast/experiences/news/forget-rio-explore-one-of-brazils-most-underrated-cities

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ML9xuUhCBJc&feature=youtu.be

Kosovo war

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kosovo_War

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WiL7axqSXY&feature=youtu.be

Alhambra

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alhambra

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zHkAowMKrU&feature=youtu.be

Haloween 2020 dragons

pfeifferpack — Sat, 31 Oct 2020 12:06:49 GMT

2019 Halloween dragons to make 8

pfeifferpack — Mon, 26 Oct 2020 04:48:07 GMT

Won a prize dragon!

pfeifferpack — Fri, 09 Oct 2020 00:51:38 GMT

September dragons

pfeifferpack — Wed, 23 Sep 2020 00:11:01 GMT

And a non Sept release oops (I don't reject virtual babies)