curbside confessions

perivates @ 2010-09-02T17:34:00

2010-09-02T21:34:01Z

So... I haven't been on my personal LJ - or checked my friends page - in a month.

>_>

I blame RPing. And plurk.

MAYBE I'LL SUCK LESS. ... Later.

...daddy I'm so sorry I'm so s-s-sorry yeah... *shot*

Important things of note:

1. I'm turning 24 on Monday. Yay for my birthday being on a long weekend!

2. LADY GAGA CONCERT, SEPTEMBER 15. It's going to be insane. And fabulous.

perivates @ 2010-08-02T20:22:00

2010-08-03T00:18:06Z

I got my new computer today!

The processing speed is amazing compared to my old dying monster of a PC. Example: It took approximately 22 hours to transfer my music files (211GB) from my old PC to my external hard drive. Approximate time for transferring from external hard drive to new PC? Two hours. Impressive!

Specs:

OS: MS Windows 7 Home Premium
CPU: Intel Pentium E5300, 2.60 GHz
RAM: 4.0 GB Dual-Channel DDR2, 402MHz
Motherboard: BIOSTAR Group G31D-M7
Graphics: 512MB GeForce 8400 GS
Hard Drive Capacity: 488GB

Also got a new mouse and keyboard, because my old ones were practically in the process of fossilization.

FST: Chasing Starlight [Jack/Ianto]

2010-07-27T00:22:24Z

Medium: Television Series
Fandom: Torchwood
Subject: Jack/Ianto
Title: Chasing Starlight
Warnings: SPOILERS for Children of Earth. (Explicitly contained in extended notes.)
Notes: This is a fanmix for crimson_antics, who won my auction at gulf_aid_now. The request was for a Jack and Ianto fanmix set during the events of CoE. Further notes below.

[download]

This fanmix explores Jack and Ianto's relationship, primarily from Jack's perspective. From the very beginning, Ianto seems set on working his way into Jack's heart, even if he has to fight his way in there. But Jack is used to being alone - used to watching all those he has grown to care about die, while he lingers on. And yet, there is something special and dear about Ianto, something that makes Jack invite him into his heart. Even though he knows that he will one day be forced to go on without him.

And then, the events of Children of Earth happen. Things go to hell, as they usually do, but this time it is worse. So much worse. Events come to a head, they take their stand against the threat, and they pay with their lives. Even as Jack begs Ianto not to go on without him, both of them know that this is it, that there is nothing either can do to keep the end at bay; all Jack can offer is his love and the promise to never forget Ianto, even as the centuries turn.

After Ianto's death, a profound change in Jack's behavior is evident in how he seems so thoroughly disconnected from those around him. For a time, nothing matters beyond the loss of Ianto and doing whatever is necessary to make certain that he has not died in vain.

But even once the world is saved, things cannot go back to the way they were. Jack would only see Ianto's ghost in the fragmented existence left to him in Torchwood. Even though a part of him may have felt that he still had a duty to maintain Torchwood in whatever capacity he could, he couldn't bear it.

It wasn't supposed to be the end for them. Not so soon. Ianto is still a part of him, so intertwined with Jack that he can't see the world around him without see Ianto there as well. He is haunted, and forever will be. He swore to be so.

Still, when he abandons Earth to go chasing the starlight, he doesn't know whether he's running from Ianto's memory or following after him the only way he knows how.

01. I Will Possess Your Heart -- Death Cab For Cutie

How I wish you could see the potential,
The potential of you and me
It's like a book elegantly bound
But in a language that you can't read just yet

You reject my advances and desperate plea
I won't let you let me down so easily

You gotta spend some time, love
You gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love
I will possess your heart

02. Love Hurts -- Incubus

I'm fettered and abused
Stand naked and accused
Should I surface this one-man submarine

I only want the truth
So tonight we drink to youth
I'll never lose what I had as a boy
Sometimes at night alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings when it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive

03. And I Love You So -- Don McLean

And I love you so. The people ask me how,
How I’ve lived till now. I tell them I don’t know
I guess they understand how lonely life has been
But life began again, the day you took my hand

And, yes, I know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me, and the night won’t set me free
But I don’t let the evening get me down
Now that you’re around me

And you love me, too. Your thoughts are just for me
You set my spirit free. I’m happy that you do
The book of life is brief, and once a page is read
All but love is dead. That is my belief

04. Lives In The Balance -- Jackson Browne

I've been waiting for something to happen
For a week or a month or a year
With the blood in the ink of the headline
and the sound of the crowd in my ear
You might ask what it takes to remember
When you know that you've seen it before
Where a government lies to her people
And a country is drifting to war

But who are the ones that we call our friends--
These governments killing their own?
Or the people who finally can't take any more
And they pick up a gun or a brick or a stone
And there are lives in the balance
There are people under fire
There are children at the cannons
And there is blood on the wire

There's a shadow on the faces
Of the men who fan the flames
Of the wars that are fought in places
Where we can't even say their names

05. Riot -- Three Days Grace

If you feel so empty, so used up, so let down
If you feel so angry, so ripped off, so stepped on
You're not the only one refusing to back down
You're not the only one, so get up

Let's start a riot, a riot! Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a riot! Let's start a riot

If you feel so filthy, so dirty, so fucked up
If you feel so walked on, so painful, so pissed off
You're not the only one refusing to go down
You're not the only one, so get up

06. If It's My Time To Go -- Color Theory

Never quite sure when it will come to pass
Living each day like it could be my last
Cause the planet seems to spin a little bit faster
When you wake up every day awaiting disaster

Took a long time for me to admit defeat
Too many dreams just lying there at my feet
But I’m older now it seems, a little bit smarter
So I won’t go to extremes by playing the martyr

If it’s my time to go, you should know how much I love you
If it’s my time to go, I am ready
If it’s my time to go, then go on ahead without me
Close my eyes, kiss my cheek, let me go

07. Who Wants To Live Forever -- Queen

There's no time for us, there's no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams,
Yet slips away from us?

There's no chance for us, it's all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us
Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever?
Who dares to love forever? When love must die

But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever, and we can love forever
Forever is our today. Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever? Forever is our today

08. Cardiff -- Stone Sour

A man delivered can never make his way in darkness
I know tonight will end, but I won't give this life away
A man surrendered can never find his own forgiveness
I know my life will end, but i won't give tonight away

This fluid feels like pain, this ruin feels like rain
I reach into the past, my future's fading fast
How many years ago, how many I let go
My flesh is all I have, my face is happenstance
This smoke is in my blood, this life is not enough

09. Sleepwalker -- Adam Lambert

Outside the rain's fallin' down
There's not a drop that hits me
Scream at the sky but no sound
Is leavin' my lips
It's like I can't even feel
After the way you touched me
I'm not asleep but I'm not awake
After the way you loved me

I can't turn this around
I keep running into walls that I can't break down
I said I just wander around
With my eyes wide shut because of you
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker
I'm a sleepwalker walker walker

Let me out of this dream

10. Shadow Captain -- Crosby, Stills & Nash

Oh, captain, what are we hiding from?
You've been hiding from the start
Did some lover steal your heart
Or did the full moon make you mad?

I can see your hands are roughened
By the wheel and the rope
I'd like to look to you for hope
I think it's hiding there
This boat is blacked out like a city
Awaiting bombers in the night
Oh you hold your helm so tight
And yet the sky seems so fair

Speak to me, I need to see your face
Shadowy captain, in a darkened space
Shadowy captain of a charcoal ship
Trying to give the light the slip

11. Sing To Me -- Darren Hayes

You step behind a curtain; in a moment you were gone
Nothing's ever certain, and it's hard to carry on

This is not what we planned
And I know its hard to understand
But if this isn't what you want then
If this isn't what you need pry my fingers from your hand

And maybe it's just meant to be
Maybe you'll find a way to haunt me
Come back and sing a melody to me
Maybe we're just lost at sea
Maybe I'm holding on to driftwood
And I'll be alright if you could sing to me

12. On The Sea -- Vertical Horizon

Though the storms of black night rage on
I still see your face, I still feel your lips on mine
And though my heart feels all alone without you
I still hear you sing to me,
I still hear your voice on the sea

Waves crash, break the silence
Gulls cry a song of lament
I walk on through the stormy night
The air cries, flash of anger
Dark night enshrouds the stranger all alone without you
Now I will reach for the stars
Because, oh my love, that's where you are

13. Starlight -- Muse

Far away, this ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die
The starlight, I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms,
I just wanted to hold you in my arms
I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away,
Never fade away

Hell yeah! :D

2010-07-14T03:23:14Z

I write like
H. P. Lovecraft

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

That was for my personal journal. For my fic journal, it gave me Kurt Vonnegut.

Clearly this was a wasted afternoon.

2010-07-02T03:48:37Z

I learned something new today: If you ever plan to make a drinking game out of the similarities between Twister and Tornado Valley, you will need to use beer, unless your goal is to die of alcohol poisoning.

Seriously, Tornado Valley has so many identical plot points that it's ridiculous and kind of alarming that it wasn't called out on ripping off Twister.

- Character's parent dies in a tornado when the character is very young.

- Character goes on to head a research project geared towards improving storm forecasts and warnings.

- Character eventually leaves the project to become a TV weather person.

- Meanwhile the ex-spouse, who was also on the research team, stays behind to see this thing through to the end. (Notably, the characters are switched around here, but the same pattern is obvious.)

- Character gets sucked back into the research and rejoins the ex on a mission to see the project's completion.

- Certain characters are know to sense when a bad storm is coming.

- Character is told that they HAVE TO LET GO OF THE PAST.

- The idea of tornadoes coming after you in a very deliberate sense. (In Twister, it's coming after Jo; in Tornado Valley, it's coming after their home.)

- WIND CHIMES! Thousands of them! Everywhere!

Seriously, I could go on, but I'm bored already, and Tornado Valley was just a terrible Twister clone.

For clarification - my biggest beef with it is that they make this huge deal about how a TERRIBLY DESTRUCTIVE TORNADO is headed straight for the house! (Twice!) But the damn thing doesn't so much as rip up the forest, and it looks like maybe a five-year-old's conception of what a tornado should look like, what with it basically being a white cloud tail while it's sunny and not dark out at all. There's seriously no damage beyond the destroyed house and one human death. There is no sense of menace or ferocity. Looking at a tornado ought to inspire both fear and awe. But this thing just made me roll my eyes. It was utterly disappointing.

I... I get to be a gamer again?! YES!

2010-06-29T21:11:57Z

My brother got the new X-Box immediately after it came out, so now I've got his 360! And he gave me two of his games - Bioshock (which I've been pestering him relentlessly to give to me) and Kameo (idk). Last night I downloaded a few demos, and a handful of full games (Portal, Sonic & Knuckles, Sonic 3, and Scrabble in that Family Game Night thing). He helped me set up my Netflix account on it too, which is great.

Today, I stopped at GameStop to raid the used section, and ended up getting four games. Dead or Alive 4 was the main one I was after, because Owen went and lost his, fail. Also got some Shaun White game because, uh, hell yes snowboarding games. Got Qubed because PUZZLE GAMES WITH MUSIC, Y/Y. And Street Fighter IV, just because it's fucking Street Fighter. Had to get a headset too, so that I can play shit with Owen and actually be able to talk to him.

I was considering getting myself Halo 3, but... the used copy was $40, sooo no. :/

STILL NEED MOAR GAMES.

Storm update

2010-06-26T19:25:17Z

My house has been without electricity since Thursday afternoon. We've mostly been avoiding the house - went with my parents to mom's Elks Club induction Thursday evening for a/c and food. Went to parents' friends' house yesterday for more a/c and food. Am now holing up in gleeful_beat's basement because she is an excellent friend and invited me over.

After talking with other people who observed the storm as it was happening, it turns out that there were several small tornadoes throughout Delaware and Chester Counties, and some others, but those two got the worst of the storm. (I'm in DelCo.) The tornado that went through my neighborhood left a pretty clear path of destruction, though fortunately it didn't cause too much damage beyond a lot of ripped up trees (which smashed into a few houses and took down powerlines). It was most likely an F1. The path of damage indicates that it tore up Sproul Rd, went over to Lawrence Rd through Veteran's Memorial Park, and continued on through part of Lawrence Park.

To give an idea of how close that was to my house: Veteran's Memorial Park is next to the church, and my house is on the other side of the church.

I was at work when the storm hit. Power went out, and initially I planned to go home immediately, but I decided to wait 45 minutes until the actual time I was supposed to leave. And it's a good thing I waited too, otherwise it's highly likely that I would have been caught up in that tornado, since it took the same path I typically drive to get home. YAY FOR GOOD LIFE DECISIONS. (EMPHASIS ON THE LIFE.)

Meanwhile, my brother was at the Phillies game. When he tried to leave the stadium, the storm pushed him back up against the wall of the stadium. It took him several attempts to get down, and he eventually ran through the parking lot (clinging to cars on his escape attempt) and eventually made it underground to the subway. It was either another low-grade tornado or just a really strong gale, but either way, that was ridiculously dangerous of him to do. I'm just glad that he, and everyone else, is safe.

The other shit that has been going down is that George, the cat with the crazy eye, well... his eye sort of popped, right before the storm. He had surgery in Delaware yesterday, and we brought him home today. Poor little guy's not happy about his e-collar, and the heat is not doing him any good, but he's been laying on an icepack, so hopefully that will help him keep cool.

LOL THUNDERSTORM

2010-06-24T21:13:06Z

Power went out at work at 3, I hung around until 3:45 and finally got home a few minutes ago. It took so long because trees and power lines were down on the major roads.

The icing on the cake is that a tornado apparently blew through the park up the road from my house.

Power's still out, obviously (since the twister brought down trees and a major power line), so that's about it for now. Need to conserve phone battery. :/

perivates @ 2010-06-21T23:06:00

2010-06-22T03:05:55Z

I'm auctioning off a fanmix/genmix over at gulf_aid_now. My posting is here, for anyone interested.

perivates @ 2010-06-18T00:03:00

2010-06-18T04:03:13Z

Face of the Future is a fun tool to play around with.

...but it is creepy as hell to use the masculinization transformation. Because, seriously, I look enough like my dad; I don't need to see my face pretty much exactly turned into his. D: CANNOT BE UNSEEN.

(It should be noted that the Botticelli and Mucha transformations are neat, though! I guess it helps that I am already ~~a fatty~~ of a curvaceous build, lulz.)

Nothing to see here.

2010-06-11T00:47:38Z

I like to have fandom-specific icons for when I post in communities regarding those fandoms. I had lacked a Glee icon, but five minutes in PSP has fixed this!

...Also, I just really like to look at Chris's hair in this photo. Unf.

My organizational OCD strikes again!

2010-06-05T04:46:38Z

It's gotten to the point where if I play my ipod on shuffle, I have to regularly skip through just to get to songs I wouldn't mind hearing regularly. So I decided on a new system: I've 5-starred everything I actually like (as opposed to tolerate), so now I can just put my my top-rated playlist on shuffle and not want to kill my ipod.

Total number of items in iTunes music library: 7647
Number of items in My Top Rated playlist: 920

(... Number of Top Rated Glee songs: 89)

I just have a lot of Glee music! I can't help it! But hot damn, that's a LOT of music for one season, and there's still one episode to go. Holy crap. And I think it's worth noting that I gave in and added the Hairography and random Vocal Adrenaline songs. I also reluctantly added the weird-ass acoustic Poker Face and the one in which Will is a huge fucking creeper, aka Tell Me Something Good. But there are ~~four~~ three songs I am just not willing to have pop up on my shuffle: the Rachel version of Defying Gravity, ~~Take A Bow~~ (I can only listen to it if I don't think about the context), You're Having My Baby, and Thong Song. Because, uh, NO THANKS. Though it does help that these were intentionally horrible songs, but still. Just no. (Side note: It's kind of ridiculous that it's easier for me to make a list of Glee songs I'd really rather not listen to than to make a top ten list. TEN IS TOO FEW, I HAVE 92 TRACKS HERE.)

Also, there's a bunch of Disney and other soundtracks, too. So... yeah, I don't know what my point on that is.

But the overall point is, I have effectively cut out the 88% of my library that I don't actually care all that much about on a regular basis. My shuffling habits should show a marked improvement!

perivates @ 2010-06-01T23:16:00

2010-06-02T03:15:55Z

Okay, tonight's episode of Glee was kind of dreadful. But even among the horror of OHGOD WILL WTF ARE YOU DOING and awkwardly dancing preggo teens and such, there were a few moments that made me happy.

1. I am so glad that Finn and Puck are friends again, and that they managed to do it in a very natural-feeling way.

2. YEAH BECK COVER! Also, yay for Terri finally getting to sing!

3. Mercedes and Quinn's friendship. Oh man, it makes me so, so damn happy, and I'm glad it was carried over here.

4. Kurt, were you really going to join the other Glee boys in unleashing some unholy shitstorm of pain on Vocal Adrenaline? Why yes, yes you were! My theory that Kurt is not only willing but also fully capable of engaging in physical altercations being supported here is wonderful. :DDD (I mean, of course he almost definitely would prefer not to, but the point is that he can. And if him reaching the end of his patience in the Gaga ep and screaming to be hit is any indication, then yeah, he is totally capable of leaping into a throwdown when he feels it's necessary.)

5. Cheerios winning Nationals due to Kurt's FOURTEEN-MINUTE LONG CELINE DION NUMBER? "Vive la différence! :D *kick*" Oh bb, my love for you knows no bounds.

6. Jesse, your depression is delicious.

SO HEY, there were some positive things about this episode! (And no, Will, your ass-jeans were not one of them, you creep.)

When did I steal Mary Poppins' bag?

2010-05-27T22:41:31Z

So, I'm going to NYC tomorrow for three days, because gleeful_beat is crazy (in an awesome way) and got us VIP tickets to the Glee tour concert on Saturday. So we are gonna be bumming around the city, staying in a hostel, having random adventures and shit.

...Which means I need to bring three days' worth of stuff. Shockingly, all of my stuff fits in my shoulder bag! It's one of those bags, you know, the kind that you swear someone could fit half of their house in.

STUFF CURRENTLY IN MY BAG:

Trackpants, three shirts, three sets of underwear, phone and phone charger, ipod and wall charger, a book, a pen, assorted toiletries (toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, deodorant, shampoo, body wash, nail kit), a first aid kit, q-tips, tissues, hand sanitizer, Tums, a hairbrush, emergency liners, my wallet, chapstick, and a bag of mini golden Oreos.

AND IT'S STILL NOT FULL. Ahahaaaa, what the hell kind of shenanigans is this?

Important question to my flist!

2010-05-09T15:27:00Z

I stopped watching Supernatural in the fourth season. I think the last episode I saw was Sex & Violence. The one with the siren? Yeah, probably that one.

Anyway. Things seemed to be getting kind of ridiculous, and I got distracted, and it fell off my radar. BUT. Then I read a Trek crossover fic and it made me remember how much I did actually enjoy Supernatural sometimes.

So I have to ask - Have things continued to devolve into a clusterfuck of madness? Or has it somehow inexplicably redeemed itself? Or has it turned into the "so bad it's good" sort of thing? (Yes, I'm looking at you, Torchwood and Star Trek VI.) Would it be worth my time to catch up on this?

(Note: I have to ask because, COME ON, there's an episode titled Jump the Shark. I just. What. Who thought that was a good idea??)

I never do these anonymemes, but...

2010-05-08T02:55:25Z

❝WHAT I THINK ABOUT YOU❞

perivates @ 2010-04-18T01:42:00

2010-04-18T05:42:42Z

Ahaha, wow, I'm a failure. So... first, I realized that the new Doctor Who series had begun, and that the first episode was going to air on BBC America tonight (last night?) at 9PM. Which meant that, OOPS, I'd missed the Christmas special! So I needed to go find it! Immediately I started looking all over the place for a decent torrent, but everything was terrible and not working.

...And then I realized that it had been a sufficiently long enough time that, uh, MAYBE I SHOULD JUST CHECK ITUNES. And there it was! Fail.

Buuut yeah. Now I've seen The End Of Times Parts 1 & 2, and The Eleventh Hour.

So wow, first of all, I gotta admit... I was really hoping that Donna was going to have a much bigger role in all of this. But I'm glad that The Doctor and Wilf buddied around! That much did make me happy. And, oh man, my favorite part? Was definitely after Donna had her little explosion in the alley, and then we just see The Doctor grinning through his bonds and that wink. "But really, did you think I'd leave my best friend without a defense mechanism?" I just, I just smiled so damn much at that line. I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP, SO MUCH. (I just wish that he'd made a better defense mechanism so that, y'know, they could have gone on adventuring through space and time! Alas.)

The Doctor's fixation on not wanting to die or regenerate was just so visceral, I really felt that desperate fear of his throughout the whole storyline. And my heart broke a little when he realized what he was up against, and broke down and took up Wilf's gun. It really speaks to how much the Time War destroyed part of him that he was willing to potentially give up his personal morals of non-violence just to prevent any of that from returning to the universe. (Even though, uh, there seems to always be destruction around him anyway.) And then, oh god, after all of that, and he was so shocked that he was still alive - and how he was so warily elated about it, oh, that just broke me to bits - and then the four knocks. Oh god. I could just feel all of that relief drain right out of him when he realized that he was never supposed to escape his fate. And all because of who he was, that he just couldn't leave Wilf to rot like that, because then he wouldn't be The Doctor. It was such a heartbreaking end, but very touching all the same. It hurt so much, but still I loved it.

As for the new series... Hm. I don't know how I feel about that just yet. On the one hand, I do think I will grow to be fond of Eleven, but he's still at that awkward, not-quite-settled point of his regeneration, so it's hard to say. I remember being all weirded out and iffy about ten when he'd first regenerated, though, so it's likely that I'll end up liking Eleven just fine. And Amy seems a bit high-strung (not to mention a little crazy), but she'll probably mellow out a bit with a good dose of time-traveling adventures! The one thing I am definitely not comfortable with so far, though, is the rebooting of the TARDIS and the sonic screwdriver. That was just... really unnecessary, I think. I mean, I'm glad it wasn't changed completely, that there's still familiar elements to it, but c'mon! The TARDIS was really the heart of The Doctor, the heart of the show, and for it to be updated like that just felt kind of... I dunno, cheap. (Same for the main titled sequence, and logo. Urgh.) But, maybe I'll get used to it? Still, I'm pretty sure that Ten will always be "my Doctor," and so anything else will always be based in comparison to that era, so maybe this feeling of weirdness is normal.

Also? When I watched The Eleventh Hour, my brother watched it with me, I guess 'cause he had nothing better to do? idk. But it was just kind of hilarious, because he'd never seen Doctor Who before, and he was always so damn shocked that I actually knew shit about the show, ahaha. Example:

Owen: "What was that?"
Kate: "A sonic screwdriver, duh."
Owen: "Oh, of course. Silly me."

And he asked me about how the hell the whole death/regeneration thing worked, and why the hell was Eleven so fucking crazy at the beginning (because, uh, that's normal post-regeneration behavior?), and other random stuff. It was actually pretty fun! :D Yay, I'm a geek.

perivates @ 2010-03-20T14:38:00

2010-03-20T18:38:25Z

...I'm sure I will get someone to play it with me. Eventually.

In other news, I have a massive, ever-growing playlist on my ipod that is almost entirely pop. And I don't mean alt pop. I mean the pop that is primarily hip-hop/rap, but marketed to a broader audience. You know... Ke$ha, Jason Derulo, Jay-Z, Rihanna, Black Eyed Peas, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears. Stuff like that. How did this happen? (I suspect that listening to Q102 too much on my commute has a lot to do with this.)

Hanging on the edge of tomorrow

2010-03-14T19:09:14Z

I have always held Lifehouse's No Name Face close to my heart. That album is the reason I first began to love Lifehouse. So it has never really surprised me that their subsequent albums have never really stood up to No Name Face for me. Stanley Climbfall was enjoyable, their title album was alright but ultimately forgettable, and I frankly did not like Who We Are much at all.

Which is why, when I found out that Lifehouse had a new album out, I was tentatively excited at the news. But I was careful to not get my hopes up. I'd gotten my hands on one song from the album, From Where You Are, as a single, and it was lovely, but that did not mean that the whole album would be equally wonderful.

But... wow. Smoke & Mirrors. I'm completely blown away. This is not at all what I was expecting, but it is thoroughly fantastic. This is not the same sound of the Lifehouse I had originally come to love, but that's actually okay. Change is a part of life, a part of finding a better sense of yourself, and Lifehouse definitely has found a new sense of vitality. It's... amazing, and beautiful, and truly exciting.

I seriously have not been so completely in love with an album since being introduced to Darren Hayes' The Tension And The Spark, and that is saying a lot.

FST: ...But The Spark Still Tries [Kirk/Spock]

2010-03-01T03:05:57Z

Medium: Movies
Fandom: Star Trek Reboot (XI)
Subject: Kirk/Spock (also KirkPrime/SpockPrime)
Title: ...But The Spark Still Tries
Warnings: Sexual references.
Notes: Detailed notes below.

[download]

This mix was largely inspired by the idea of soulmates: that somehow, despite differences in space and time, two people can still come together in such a way that their interactions (and gradual friendship) will come to define them, to shape them into the formidable team that they will become. The mix begins with a sense that something important is yet to come along; divergent timelines offering an impending sense of a change, a mending soon to come. And when Spock Prime mindmelds with a young Jim Kirk, the direction of that mending may become that much clearer. Still, Jim and Spock must take things at their own pace, as what once was cannot necessarily follow the same precise path. But still, even in different universes, some things remain the same.

Overlapping this new unfolding of events is the continuing story of Spock Prime, a man who desperately misses the Jim Kirk who he knew so well. And perhaps, somewhere out there in the echoes of time, Jim yearns to be there for Spock - even if now all that truly remains of him in this timeline is Spock's memories.

But still, that love endures, to the end of time... and beyond, into other worlds and times.

1. Soulmate -- Natasha Bedingfield

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

2. Sleeping With Ghosts -- Placebo

The sea's evaporated
Though it comes as no surprise
These clouds we're seeing
They're explosions in the sky
It seems it's written
But we can't read between the line

Hush, it's okay, dry your eyes
Soulmate dry your eyes
Cause soulmates never die

This one world vision
Turns us in to compromise
What good's religion
When it's each other we despise

3. Void -- Darren Hayes

I let a stranger love me
I gave away my pride
I bit my lips, so I could block my mind
I've called your name to others
Just like a spinal chord
Severed and broken but the spark still tries

And doesn't anyone fill the void
Doesn't anyone kill the joy
Doesn't anyone take the place of you in my heart
Doesn't anyone fill the void
Doesn't anyone kill the noise
Doesn't anyone take the place of you

They don't know you like I do
They don't see the good inside you
They don't lie with you in bed
And join you when you're dreaming

4. Whataya Want From Me -- Adam Lambert

Hey, slow it down, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Yeah, I’m afraid, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

There might have been a time
When I would give myself away
Oh once upon a time I didn’t give a damn
But now, here we are so whataya want from me

Just don’t give up I’m workin' it out
Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me

5. Superman Tonight -- Bon Jovi

There's something about you I want to rescue
I don't even know you, so what does that mean?
Maybe I'm cynical, I'm painfully logical
You're tragic and beautiful
And that's good enough for me

Who's going to save you when the stars fall from your sky
And who's going to pull you in when the tide gets too high
Who's going to hold you when you turn out the lights
I won't lie, I wish that I could be your superman tonight

If somebody sent you an angel to save you
What would you tell him to turn him away
That your heart don't break, that your lips don't kiss
That life is just a lie, that heaven don't exist

6. I Would Die For You -- Jann Arden

I've never seen this kind of love
The kind that won't wash away
And then leave you in the dark

I've never kissed a sweeter mouth
I've never been swept away
It's what dreams are made about

I've never seen this kind of love
The kind that won't slip away
Yes I'm soaring through your heart
Don't you know I could not survive
Without you in my life

7. From Where You Are -- Lifehouse

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you, yeah, I miss you
So far away from where you are
Standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they’d mean everything to me
Yeah, I miss you, and I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah, I miss you, and I wish you were here

8. Cradlesong -- Rob Thomas

Everybody's got a different story
Everybody wanna give their selves away
But I'm still afraid
If we can stay out of their field of vision
If we can keep ourselves a half a world away
Oh honey we'll be okay

The world can be so cruel, but I will sing for you
This cradle song, all night long

Everybody's got their own opinion
Everybody's got a place were they belong
Like a favorite song
I don't want to be a faded memory
I don't want to be the ghost that you cant shake
I want to be the real thing

9. Come What May -- Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman

Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

perivates @ 2010-02-26T23:54:00

2010-02-27T04:54:44Z

I've listened to Darren Hayes for years now, stretching back to the time when Savage Garden was still functional. And I just need to say, Void continues to be one of the most emotionally evocative songs I've ever had the pleasure of hearing.

I let a stranger love me, I gave away my pride
I bit my lips, so I could block my mind
I've called your name to others,
Just like a spinal chord
Severed and broken - but the spark still tries

These particular lyrics are just so visceral, that they almost make you feel the same helpless desperation being described. It's so heartbreakingly beautiful.

BRB, HAVING A NERD-OUT.

2010-02-26T23:31:20Z

GUYS. HEY GUYS. Guess what?!

I... I may have just bought a Star Trek tridimensional chess board off of eBay. :DDD

You know, the kind that looks like this:

I HAVE NO WORDS FOR HOW EXCITED I AM ABOUT THIS.

(ETA: Although obviously the Staunton chess pieces in that image are not the pieces included in the set. Those would be the ones included in the Franklin Mint set. ALTHOUGH SOMEDAY I MAY GET STAUNTON PIECES. MAYBE.)

And so the D.C. drama continues.

2010-02-26T21:22:42Z

Catholic Standard & Times: Law forces Church out of foster care

WASHINGTON — Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Washington closed its 80-year-old foster care and public adoption program in the District of Columbia so the agency would not have to violate Church teaching by licensing same-sex couples as foster or adoptive parents.

The program — which covered 43 children and their biological families, 35 foster families and seven staff members — was transferred to the National Center for Children and Families Feb. 1.

Under a new law allowing same-sex marriage in the District of Columbia, Catholic Charities would have been required to place children with same-sex parents for foster care and adoption, which would violate Church teaching that marriage is a permanent union between one man and one woman.

“Catholic Charities has been providing foster care in one form or another for decades. ... To transition this to another agency certainly was a real loss for us,” said Edward Orzechowski, president and CEO of Catholic Charities.

The National Center for Children and Families “shares our commitment to permanency for children, and our perspective that foster parents are real partners with us in serving these children,” he said.

The law is currently under congressional review, but the district is scheduled to begin issuing marriage licenses for same-sex couples in March. Two members of Congress have introduced legislation that would require the district to hold a referendum on the same-sex marriage issue before licenses could be issued.

The same-sex marriage law “in many ways, forced us to either compromise our faith’s teachings or comply with the law. ... We will not compromise our faith’s teachings, so we felt we had no choice but to transition (the foster care and public adoption program) to another agency,” Orzechowski said.

Catholic Charities, which operates more than 20 social service programs in the district, does not anticipate any other programs being affected by the legislation.

The new law also affects benefits provided to employees in the district, but Orzechowski said he remained confident that Catholic Charities will find a way to structure their benefits package without recognizing same-sex marriage, so the agency can continue partnering with the city.

“We are considering all alternatives of how we might meet the law. We have not come to a final decision, but we are studying all options,” he said, adding that Catholic Charities needs to have a plan in place before the same-sex marriage bill is expected to become law in mid-March.

Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Washington serves the district and five Maryland counties. Last year, the organization provided more than 124,000 people with support related to housing, food, legal aid, physical and mental health, and other services.

Officials from the agency and the archdiocese held several meetings with members of the district’s City Council and testified before the council asking its members to expand the religious liberty protections in the new bill, but their concerns were rejected.

“This is the most narrow religious freedom exemption in the country,” Orzechowski said, adding that the law creates a real challenge for the church, forcing organizations like Catholic Charities, in instances such as the foster care outreach, to choose between their religious beliefs and serving in the public square.

An interfaith coalition of religious leaders also asked the District of Columbia Board of Elections and Ethics to take the matter to voters by approving a ballot initiative defining marriage as between a man and a woman and a referendum overturning enactment of the same-sex marriage bill.

The board turned down the request Feb. 4. The next day Auxiliary Bishop Barry C. Knestout of Washington sent an analysis of the law to priests in which he said that by refusing to allow district residents to vote on same-sex marriage, the board was undermining religious freedom and promoting “partisan paternalism under the guise of righteousness.”

A couple of things about this issue really stand out in my mind.

1. How do these charity workers deal with other ways in which potential foster parents do not meet their expectations in what is the "right" environment in which to place these children? Do they have to be a married couple that has tried to have children in accordance with the Catholic view on procreative sex? Are they required to prod at these people's sex lives? What if they don't want biological children and use contraception? What if they have sterilized themselves? What if one of the spouses is a very convincingly passing transperson? What if they are poly? What if one or both of them isn't Catholic? What if, what if, what if? I get the impression that these workers don't give much thought to these sorts of things, and can only focus on the highly politicized perceived problems right in front of them.

2. It appalls me that people like this continue to only think in terms of "religious freedom" and can't (or choose not to) look beyond that to the reality that some of the tenets of the religious stance they cling to so desperately are essentially in support of inequalities that are completely devoid of human compassion. The same Old Testament that is firmly against homosexuality is also firmly against the equality of women and differing races. The god of the Old Testament essentially supports having the Hebrews wage war against other nations, kill their men, and more or less rape their women. Is this how far back these people want to look for a model of decent human behavior? Or should we just conveniently forget those other unsavory parts and focus exclusively on how the gays are an abomination? The degree of cognitive dissonance on this matter is astounding.

(Cross-posting this to both antitheism and lesbian)

BRB, LOL-ING FOREVER

2010-02-03T02:25:01Z

Oh god. I've now got this image burned into my brain of Kirk wandering around the Enterprise with a shit-eating grin humming "Sexy Boy." HE WOULD SO THINK THAT WAS HIS PERSONAL THEME SONG.

Had a bit of a movie marathon.

2010-02-01T00:35:55Z

This weekend, I finally watched the second through fourth Star Trek movies.

I enjoyed The Wrath Of Khan well enough, until we got to the end, and then I just flipped my shit, because seriously? Spock is my favorite, and I just kept yelling at my brother throughout the last five minutes about how that was so much shit, and that could not possibly have really happened, wtf.

So then I spent the next day stewing over it, and eventually figured out that this would be where the katra thing that I keep seeing all over the fandom would fit into the storyline. And then I was kind of okay enough to watch The Search For Spock, which I did enjoy. Though that one scene between Saavik and little!Spock, on the matter of pon farr and Vulcan finger-kissing, made me feel distinctly squeamish. But yeah, anyway, the ending left me feeling much happier than the last one!

Of course, after that, my brother convinced me to watch The Voyage Home, because it was so utterly ridiculous. He informed me that mom hated this movie, but wouldn't tell me anything else about it. So I just figured, eh, what the hell? And omg, that was the most hilarious crack I have sat through in quite a while. XD When the probe started emitting that noise, it was like a lightbulb switched off in my head, and I shouted "WHAT THE FUCK, IS THIS THE WHALES MOVIE?!" - which sent Owen into a laughing fit, and mom heard me from upstairs and added her two cents about omg that is such an awful movie WHY ARE YOU WATCHING IT?? LAWLZ. But yes, holy crap, I just could not get over how low budget (STARFLEET PERSONNEL WANDERING AROUND SAN FRAN IN THE 80'S, WUT) and cheesy it was. I don't think I've laughed that much during a movie pretty much ever. Just... everything was so utterly ridiculous, with Spock communing with the whales, and that Super Disguise!Bandana of his, and Scotty and Bones dicking around at the engineering plant, and that entire debacle at the hospital. Bones' attitude towards 20th Century medicine is just so great. XD This is now my go-to movie for when I need a laugh, srsly.