FST: Chasing Starlight [Jack/Ianto]

Medium: Television Series
Fandom: Torchwood
Subject: Jack/Ianto
Title: Chasing Starlight
Warnings: SPOILERS for Children of Earth. (Explicitly contained in extended notes.)
Notes: This is a fanmix for crimson_antics, who won my auction at gulf_aid_now. The request was for a Jack and Ianto fanmix set during the events of CoE. Further notes below.





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This fanmix explores Jack and Ianto's relationship, primarily from Jack's perspective. From the very beginning, Ianto seems set on working his way into Jack's heart, even if he has to fight his way in there. But Jack is used to being alone - used to watching all those he has grown to care about die, while he lingers on. And yet, there is something special and dear about Ianto, something that makes Jack invite him into his heart. Even though he knows that he will one day be forced to go on without him. And then, the events of Children of Earth happen. Things go to hell, as they usually do, but this time it is worse. So much worse. Events come to a head, they take their stand against the threat, and they pay with their lives. Even as Jack begs Ianto not to go on without him, both of them know that this is it, that there is nothing either can do to keep the end at bay; all Jack can offer is his love and the promise to never forget Ianto, even as the centuries turn. After Ianto's death, a profound change in Jack's behavior is evident in how he seems so thoroughly disconnected from those around him. For a time, nothing matters beyond the loss of Ianto and doing whatever is necessary to make certain that he has not died in vain. But even once the world is saved, things cannot go back to the way they were. Jack would only see Ianto's ghost in the fragmented existence left to him in Torchwood. Even though a part of him may have felt that he still had a duty to maintain Torchwood in whatever capacity he could, he couldn't bear it. It wasn't supposed to be the end for them. Not so soon. Ianto is still a part of him, so intertwined with Jack that he can't see the world around him without see Ianto there as well. He is haunted, and forever will be. He swore to be so. Still, when he abandons Earth to go chasing the starlight, he doesn't know whether he's running from Ianto's memory or following after him the only way he knows how. 01. I Will Possess Your Heart -- Death Cab For Cutie How I wish you could see the potential, The potential of you and me It's like a book elegantly bound But in a language that you can't read just yet You reject my advances and desperate plea I won't let you let me down so easily You gotta spend some time, love You gotta spend some time with me And I know that you'll find love I will possess your heart 02. Love Hurts -- Incubus I'm fettered and abused Stand naked and accused Should I surface this one-man submarine I only want the truth So tonight we drink to youth I'll never lose what I had as a boy Sometimes at night alone I wonder Is there a spell that I am under Keeping me from seeing the real thing Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt And it feels like I'm alive Love sings when it transcends the bad things Have a heart and try me 'Cause without love I won't survive 03. And I Love You So -- Don McLean And I love you so. The people ask me how, How I’ve lived till now. I tell them I don’t know I guess they understand how lonely life has been But life began again, the day you took my hand And, yes, I know how lonely life can be The shadows follow me, and the night won’t set me free But I don’t let the evening get me down Now that you’re around me And you love me, too. Your thoughts are just for me You set my spirit free. I’m happy that you do The book of life is brief, and once a page is read All but love is dead. That is my belief 04. Lives In The Balance -- Jackson Browne I've been waiting for something to happen For a week or a month or a year With the blood in the ink of the headline and the sound of the crowd in my ear You might ask what it takes to remember When you know that you've seen it before Where a government lies to her people And a country is drifting to war But who are the ones that we call our friends-- These governments killing their own? Or the people who finally can't take any more And they pick up a gun or a brick or a stone And there are lives in the balance There are people under fire There are children at the cannons And there is blood on the wire There's a shadow on the faces Of the men who fan the flames Of the wars that are fought in places Where we can't even say their names 05. Riot -- Three Days Grace If you feel so empty, so used up, so let down If you feel so angry, so ripped off, so stepped on You're not the only one refusing to back down You're not the only one, so get up Let's start a riot, a riot! Let's start a riot Let's start a riot, a riot! Let's start a riot If you feel so filthy, so dirty, so fucked up If you feel so walked on, so painful, so pissed off You're not the only one refusing to go down You're not the only one, so get up 06. If It's My Time To Go -- Color Theory Never quite sure when it will come to pass Living each day like it could be my last Cause the planet seems to spin a little bit faster When you wake up every day awaiting disaster Took a long time for me to admit defeat Too many dreams just lying there at my feet But I’m older now it seems, a little bit smarter So I won’t go to extremes by playing the martyr If it’s my time to go, you should know how much I love you If it’s my time to go, I am ready If it’s my time to go, then go on ahead without me Close my eyes, kiss my cheek, let me go 07. Who Wants To Live Forever -- Queen There's no time for us, there's no place for us What is this thing that builds our dreams, Yet slips away from us? There's no chance for us, it's all decided for us This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever? Who dares to love forever? When love must die But touch my tears with your lips Touch my world with your fingertips And we can have forever, and we can love forever Forever is our today. Who wants to live forever? Who wants to live forever? Forever is our today 08. Cardiff -- Stone Sour A man delivered can never make his way in darkness I know tonight will end, but I won't give this life away A man surrendered can never find his own forgiveness I know my life will end, but i won't give tonight away This fluid feels like pain, this ruin feels like rain I reach into the past, my future's fading fast How many years ago, how many I let go My flesh is all I have, my face is happenstance This smoke is in my blood, this life is not enough 09. Sleepwalker -- Adam Lambert Outside the rain's fallin' down There's not a drop that hits me Scream at the sky but no sound Is leavin' my lips It's like I can't even feel After the way you touched me I'm not asleep but I'm not awake After the way you loved me I can't turn this around I keep running into walls that I can't break down I said I just wander around With my eyes wide shut because of you I'm a sleepwalker walker walker I'm a sleepwalker walker walker Let me out of this dream 10. Shadow Captain -- Crosby, Stills & Nash Oh, captain, what are we hiding from? You've been hiding from the start Did some lover steal your heart Or did the full moon make you mad? I can see your hands are roughened By the wheel and the rope I'd like to look to you for hope I think it's hiding there This boat is blacked out like a city Awaiting bombers in the night Oh you hold your helm so tight And yet the sky seems so fair Speak to me, I need to see your face Shadowy captain, in a darkened space Shadowy captain of a charcoal ship Trying to give the light the slip 11. Sing To Me -- Darren Hayes You step behind a curtain; in a moment you were gone Nothing's ever certain, and it's hard to carry on This is not what we planned And I know its hard to understand But if this isn't what you want then If this isn't what you need pry my fingers from your hand And maybe it's just meant to be Maybe you'll find a way to haunt me Come back and sing a melody to me Maybe we're just lost at sea Maybe I'm holding on to driftwood And I'll be alright if you could sing to me 12. On The Sea -- Vertical Horizon Though the storms of black night rage on I still see your face, I still feel your lips on mine And though my heart feels all alone without you I still hear you sing to me, I still hear your voice on the sea Waves crash, break the silence Gulls cry a song of lament I walk on through the stormy night The air cries, flash of anger Dark night enshrouds the stranger all alone without you Now I will reach for the stars Because, oh my love, that's where you are 13. Starlight -- Muse Far away, this ship has taken me far away Far away from the memories Of the people who care if I live or die The starlight, I will be chasing a starlight Until the end of my life I don't know if it's worth it anymore Hold you in my arms, I just wanted to hold you in my arms I'll never let you go If you promise not to fade away, Never fade away