stars, hide your fires

what's wrong with this picture

2011-02-09T01:39:10Z

So I was doing this Russian essay contest, in an effort to get my professor to not hate me after I royally fucked up the study abroad thing (and also to practice essay writing I guess)

and I'm just writing along, agonizing over not knowing how to say anything and repeating the same verbs like three times a paragraph, when I realize I have just written the following: "музыка была ун парте импортанте де ми жизнь,--"

I only stopped when I hit the "hasta que" and realized there's no H or Q in Cyrillic.

I blacked it out as dark as it could go to hide the evidence of my shame, but guys. Guys. Code switching is only cute when other people do it.

(needless to say my essay was pretty awful)

edit: tomariq, what the fuck happened here

INTERNET

2011-01-19T11:06:33Z

This is mostly a "hey look I didn't fall off the face of the planet*" post but if anything earth-shattering has happened in your life in the last month or so, you can tell me in the comments if you want

and then I can flail around feeling like a shitty friend because that's my response to everything these days

As for me, I'm back at school, and really the less said about that the better. Otherwise I have done absolutely nothing for a month. Unless you count "boiled in the hellish stewpot of my own angst," which I don't, because all it means is "ate so much soup it's taken over my body and seeped into my awful metaphors." And because it really is an awful metaphor and I don't know why I'm leaving it here.

I SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO WRITE JOURNAL ENTRIES AT FIVE IN THE MORNING

*and also am an insomniac loser but that's irrelevant

dull things

2010-09-08T05:06:19Z

I was going to break my habit of posting only once a month, but then I got ~~high~~ sick. (this isn't a real excuse)

I feel like my life is one long dialogue between Socially Awkward Penguin and Socially Lazy Sloth. It's like they're halves of my psyche locked in conflict over the battle-scarred landscape of my SOUL, except they never seem to get to the punching bits. (I was going to say something about my ~feelings~ of late here but I couldn't figure out any way to do it that didn't sound a) more ridiculous than the above and b) excessively self-pitying. some "writer" I am

maybe I can't do dialogue anymore because I can't talk to people anymore)

--In other news, my historiography teacher has Kate Beaton comics on her office door and I kind of want to say something about them, but I probably won't. by the way, this class is so cool--there's Old Stuff! I'm allowed to touch it! SO COOL (also punctuation seems to have been optional in Civil War Illinois, it's like I have discovered the true home of my SOUL)

this entry is all ME ME ME and my SOUL, sorry 'bout that

and it's mostly a way to procrastinate on chem. screw division requirements man щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

stop! I said it's happening again, we're all wasting away

2010-08-03T08:03:53Z

so I've been pretty much entirely cut off from the internet for the last month (or more? I am not good at time) except for when I sneak on at work and That One Guy From Accounting walks by my cubicle whenever I open anything REALLY REALLY GAY

which isn't that often, I think, I mean really

ANYWAY this is the first time I've gotten on my own computer in a while and I wanted anyone who still remembers who I am to know that I'm really sorry for disappearing and not keeping up--I'm all right and I miss you all. Whatever absence does to the heart, it's a bitch of a number.

let's pretend the fact that I can't even put together a coherent journal post, much less a conversation, is a function of the fact that it's 3 AM

okay

an accurate representation of my emotional state

2010-04-23T08:36:04Z

Not pictured: tomorrow's econ test sneaking north through Belarus to kick me while I'm down.

щ(ಥДಥщ)

okay getting back to work now

дерп дерп дерп

2010-04-19T08:32:21Z

HELLO NEW FRIENDS

HELLO OLD FRIENDS

SO I HAVEN'T UPDATED SINCE LIKE JANUARY* HOW ARE YOU ALL FLIST

I AM ALL RIGHT, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED

...NO WAIT, THAT'S INACCURATE, I AM VERY DELIBERATELY NOT CONSIDERING ALL THINGS SO I DON'T REALIZE HOW UTTERLY FUCKED I AM

IT'S A LEGITIMATE STRATEGY

WHY AM I TYPING LIKE THIS

SHOULD HAVE QUIT WHILE I WAS AHEAD

IF I EVER WAS

I AM GOING TO QUIT NOW

*pointless whining entries notwithstanding because they're on private anyway

baby you've changed

2010-01-01T09:06:35Z

Happy 2010, everyone! I am...three hours late for my own timezone and four for the one I'm currently in, but I'm sure no one minds. I probably should have done this in 2009, but I've got to get all the garbage of the past year off my chest and I may as well do it now.

I never make New Year's resolutions, but I think I could use some this time around. I'm probably Doing It Wrong, but I HEREBY RESOLVE TO:

-Do my homework. All of it. Before the deadline.
-Corollary: Feel smart again.
-Be more proactive in getting the things I want: a job, a transfer, a trip abroad.
-Work out. Not feel like a fat weakling while doing so.
-Write more. Draw more. Play more music. Relearn why it is that I love these things.
-Corollary: FINISH SOME GODDAMN FIC like that Santa thing that is dragging me through the mud and kicking my ass right now.
-Speak a lot of Spanish, speak Russian when I can, and start Hungarian properly.
-Kick this decade's sorry size-zero ass. (Fitting into zeros again would be nice. See above.)

for you:
2009 was a pretty shitty year. It does no one any good to dwell, but I think I can say that (and even get a fair amount of agreement.)

But when I look back on last year (!!!) I'm going to remember the people who made it bearable, and sometimes even downright enjoyable. I met so many wonderful people this year, and so many others have stuck by me for years already, even at my paralyzed self-pitying worst. You guys made 2009 cool.

So thank you. Let's decade. ♥

want thy badde Romance, nonny nonny

2009-12-21T10:02:44Z

(totally butchered that! I can Early Modern gud. Verily.)

So my paid account is expiring in about twelve and a half hours--in those hours, does anyone want one of those $10 paid account coupon things? (When they are over, I will want one. Hint, hint.) This is a stupid promotion but I am going to milk it for all it's worth. Mama didn't raise no fools. (well, she did, but it's more my fault than hers and NOT WHEN IT COMES TO SALE-HUNTING)

Tuesday I'm going to New York! I'd be a little more enthused about this if I weren't going to be sitting in a cold car for sixteen hours, and if those sixteen hours weren't smack in the middle of all the time I need to cram in fic in order to make my deadlines. So glad the Nordic one got extended; with the behemoth this one is turning out to be I'd be lucky to have a crappy, typo-ridden draft done by the 24th.

CURRENT WORDCOUNT: 1300/GOD ONLY KNOWS. NTS: THIS OBNOXIOUS BOLD BLINKING TEXT IS TELLING YOU TO FIX THAT SHIT, YOU HEAR

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Thursday I put gum in roguecarbon's hair (-12 points). In June I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points). In February I ruled Canada as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). Last Sunday I ruled Duluth, Minnesota as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). Last month I pulled chikotori's hair (-5 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-1029 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!

Sincerely,
pentatonikk

I think I'm noticing a pattern here.

(In another iteration of this meme, I gained ten points buying porn for Yuu and promptly lost them by buying porn for Noon. I cannot even legally buy porn yet. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN)

the best of all possible worlds.

2009-12-07T15:02:49Z

THINGS I HAVE TO DO TODAY: (for personal reference)

~~-Russian test (VERBS VERBS VERBS) (10:00)~~ haha how did I forget how to say "to remember," I am a dumb
~~-Spanish paper (11:15)~~ LOS INMIGRANTES SON BUENOS HURR DURR
-Spanish presentation (~~EMAIL TEACHER, GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS ONE~~ GOT THE HELL OUT, IT WAS ACTUALLY ON WEDNESDAY)
-IR paper (5:00)
-FYI presentation practice (10:00 tomorrow) (it would be nice if I could get out of this too)
-FYI OH GOD WHY presentation (...sometime Wednesday)
-FUCKING OVERDUE FYI PAPER THAT I TOLD EVERYONE I FINISHED (WHENEVER I GET IT DONE BUT IT HAS TO BE BEFORE TOMORROW FML)

Conclusion: if I can make it through the next two days the rest of the week is going to be easy.

~~Now excuse me, I have a Spanish paper to bullshit.~~

PISSING BRILLIANCE, SHITTING ERUDITION.

wow I really have nothing to talk about

2009-11-30T07:55:47Z

So I guess I should say hello to all the rad people I met all over at That Friending Meme! Y'all are pretty cool dudes and I look forward to getting to know/harassing/tl;dr-ing with you. Fair warning: I am rather awkward and suck at replying to comments, but that doesn't mean I don't think you're awesome 'cause I do, let's chat it up. (THIS APPLIES TO EVERYONE ON MY FLIST BY THE WAY)

If I am too lazy to reply to comments here (often) you can also catch me on twitter, I tweet obsessively and use it more as a chat tool than anything because I am too awkward for proper real-time chat, hurr. (nevertheless I have aim, although I'm almost never on)

Things about my life right now: I HATE COLLEGE ARRRRGH, SO MUCH POINTLESS WORK, WEEPING TEARS OF BLOOD, FUCKING DATIVE. I complain about school a lot in a fairly non-specific but endearingly profane way. I complain about Russian the most because that's the only class I actually like. Did I ever tell you about the Soviet-era language video we watched with the middle-aged man stripping to the Internationale? Now I did. (by the way, I am still considering that rename but AAAAH MONEY) (also by the way, everyone in Soviet-era language videos is an engineer and works at the factory. На заводе, not в, and I will remember that until the day I die. Sob.)

(Is this icon still terrible and sexy? Yes.)

(Parentheses!)

EDIT: I have some Google Wave invites if anyone wants one! Just...don't ask me to tell you how to use it. Because I am so confused right now. If you want one get me your email somehow; I can screen comments or f-lock this entry if it makes you feel better. Email, PM, and DMs on twitter are also acceptable.

NAKED BALLOON FRANCE

2009-11-05T01:12:04Z

so I think most of the people on my flist who would be interested in this have already heard about it, but:

steampowers
GAY COUNTRIES--IN GOGGLES!

COMO UN JEFE

2009-09-29T01:57:46Z

or, the decline and fall of the Spanish Empire as envisioned by the Lonely Island and a meme-addled college student. Then someone else did it first and better.

RECONQUISTA (like a boss)
INQUISITION (like a boss)
LEAD EXPEDITION (like a boss)
DISCOVER NEW WORLD (like a boss)
DIRECT PILLAGE (like a boss)
CONVERT NATIVES (like a boss)
STEAL THEIR GOLD (like a boss)
FIND TOMATOES (like a boss)
HIT ON LOVI (like a boss)
GET REJECTED (like a boss)
SWALLOW SADNESS (like a boss)
PILLAGE INCA (like a boss)
LOSE ARMADA (like a boss)
CRY DEEPLY (like a boss)
DEMAND TRIBUTE (like a boss)
NICE BANANAS (like a boss)
PEDOPHILIA (like a boss)
LOSE THE NETHERLANDS (like a boss)
DRINK SANGRIA (like a boss)
SHIT ON LOVI'S DRESS (like a boss) (he doesn't notice)
BUY AN AXE (like a boss)
IN MY MOUTH (like a boss)
Oh fuck man it doesn't fucking fit... shit!
PUSSY OUT (like a boss)
PUKE ON LOVI'S DRESS (like a boss)
JUMP OFF PYRENNEES (like a boss)
SUCK ON HABSBURG DICK (like a boss)
SCORE SOME INFANTAS (like a boss)
INFANTAS GO MAD (like a boss)
SUCK MY OWN DICK (like a boss)
EAT SOME BAD GAZPACHO (like a boss)
CHOP MY BALLS OFF (like a boss)
BLACK OUT IN NEW SPAIN (like a boss)
MEET A GREY DUDE (like a boss)
FUCK HIS BRAINS OUT (like a boss)
TURN INTO A SHIP (like a boss)
KICK AMERICA (like a boss)
BECOME A FASCIST (like a boss)
NOBODY EXPECTS IT (like a boss)

Please, por Dios, return to your scheduled business (like a boss).

somebody up there loves you directv

2009-09-27T00:56:27Z

Hey there flist! I haven't been posting much lately, due to some combination of Russian, laziness, and the fact that I have somehow turned into a tweet whore.

College is...eh. There's nothing to do here, so yesterday some kind-of-friends (have I mentioned that I suck at making friends? incessantly? okay) and I headed up to Madison. I bought a bitchin' Norwegian Air Force jacket that's actually kind of itchy but I DO NOT CARE because it makes me look like a cool kid with a uniform fetish. One of those is even true.

What I would have bought in Madison if I had any cause to use it:

OBAMA CONDOMS. Apparently "hope flavored." I love my country.

In other news, I still can't write and someone should take my history books away from me.

man why are my entries always so boring? I come up with COOL STUFF TO SAY and then promptly forget everything when I go to type it in.

so apparently I'm a college student now

2009-08-16T16:53:23Z

Two questions:

1. how is frensship formed

and 2. What the fuck would cause an apparently healthy seventeen-year-old to black out and collapse in the middle of a school bookstore tour?

bonus: Does this mean I have to start eating breakfast?

♥

2009-08-12T21:48:09Z

HELLO NEW FRIENDS! HELLO OLD FRIENDS! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL TODAY!

(actually no, I am shit-scared to go to college and can't find my checkbook. but maybe your life is beautiful?)

I LOVE YOU ALL THIS MUCH:

(a warning: no matter how much I love you, I will still suck at replying to your journal entries/comments. I read them! I'm just a loser and don't know what to say, orz)

(another warning: no matter how much I love you, I will always love parentheses more)

$$$

2009-07-13T07:40:41Z

Went to Ravinia today and saw the 1812 overture with real cannons. Jumped. Am of the opinion that everyone should do this at least once (see the overture, not jump.) It's not that long and it quite firmly demolishes the idea that classical music is boring because CANNONS, HELLO

In other news, I'm a dirty consumer whore and I really need to get a reliable source of income so that I'm spending my money instead of someone else's. Or, as in this case, resisting spending it.

Problem is, I kind of want a paid account. I run up against the lack-of-icon-space issue a lot (right now I'm trying to make space for sunglasses Medvedev and hot otter-on-walrus action), and it'd be nice to have more, but I don't know whether I'm willing to pour $20 into LJ when I know it's better-spent on real things like food or books or that East German military jacket I found the other day--maybe not the last one so much, but I'm still not sure.

On the other hand, I'd be doing my bit to stimulate the Russian economy. Hmm.

lame generic question to those of you with paid accounts: Do you get what you pay for?

now, off to see which icons I can cut, sob

for I am Cake, destroyer of waistlines.

2009-06-30T08:07:40Z

First order of business: a delicious welcome to epieixia, artpeggio, noonish, therightlight, tikula, and yuuago! Ladies and gentleman, I think I have finally discovered the secret to social success: DESSERT.

Since I'm going to college come August, I've been trying to make a microwave chocolate cake that doesn't taste like the disappointingly dull lovechild of a sponge and a brick. It wasn't going well until I found a blog comment that suggested taking the same basic recipe I'd been using and losing the egg. I tried that, tweaked it, and suddenly: cake!

Ingredients
1 large coffee mug
5 tbs flour
3 tbs cocoa powder
2 1/2 tbs sugar
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/8 tsp salt
3 tbs milk*
1 tbs cooking oil
1/4 tsp vanilla
2 handfuls or so chocolate chips*

Directions
In the mug, mix together dry ingredients. Add wet ingredients; mix until smooth. Add chocolate chips and mix in. (Lick the spoon; there are no eggs, so you won't get salmonella!) Microwave on high for 1 minute. Microwaves vary, so it may take longer, but if cooked too long the cake gets leathery. Err on the side of caution and delicious fluffy cake.

*Notes about the ingredients (where should I put these?)
-I used chocolate milk because I had some on hand, but any kind should work, even disgusting soymilk if you want vegan cake.
-Use a LOT of chocolate chips; it may seem like more chips than cake when you're mixing them in, but the cake expands and they'll be less closely-spaced than you think.

I think I'll call it NUKE CAKE. Please tell me about any results, improvements or humorous kitchen disasters if you decide to make it! ♥

la-la-la-lounge~

2009-06-06T08:03:58Z

Jesus Christ on a chopped salad I leave for a(n inconvenient) week or two and I have three and a half parts of anonmeme to read through? Y'all's crazy. ♥

In other news, I am more or less done with high school! Finally. I think I would have been punted out the door if I stayed another year in that place. I may myself have done the punting. BUT NO MOOOOOOORE

Now, on to a glorious summer of city trips and writing and threatening the economy with a crowbar until I can get myself a job. >BC THIS IS MY ANGRY FACE, ECONOMY, MY NAME IS TROY AND YOU DIDN'T GET ME A BIRTHDAY PRESENT

(So hi bunniofthemoon and tsunekipanda (and odie!), this is my journal, there is a lot of capslock and more parentheses and no discernible substance.)

EVERYONE. What sorts of mad hijinks will you be getting up to while I roll around my house aimlessly for the next two months?

everyone say happy birthday...

2009-05-01T05:56:38Z

...to North Korea!

Also, happy Labor Day (everywhere but here!) And happy Beltane! And happy whatever else you happen to celebrate on this wonderful day!

...psst.

newsflash: I can't draw grass what

2008-12-30T06:13:47Z

ugh I am tired. Somehow I keep going to bed later and later and my mother keeps waking me up early so that I can go post-Christmas returning/shopping with her. fffffff and I was supposed to CATCH UP on sleep over break, too.

anyway, I need to think about COLLEGE APPS COLLEGE APPS COLLEGE APPS for the rest of break, then go back to school the 4th. (sonali please come visit me I need a haircut)

In writing ~~COLLEGE APPS~~ actually I lied it is fic, I've discovered that it's really hard for me to render anger properly. It keeps coming out as EXTREME SADNESS which I don't think is how it ought to go. perhaps I don't get angry often enough...? When I do, I certainly do tend more to the EXTREME SADNESS AND IRRATIONAL, DIFFICULT-TO-WRITE ATTEMPTS TO IMPRESS MY PAIN ON OTHER PEOPLE side of things. righteous anger, especially, is a tough'un. any tips?

Other things I have learned about myself while writing fic instead of college essays: thirteen members is a hell of a lot for a boy band and a hell of a lot to make disappear in creative and humorous ways; adverbs are my crack; conjunctions are my crutch; and Pandora UNDERSTANDS my Mahlerwhore ways. (the fourths. I am slain.)

speaking of Pandora: it is making me love nationalism in music and, by babbling on about it, forcing me to reveal how much of a NERD I am. ~~Finland/Sibelius is imminent.~~ oh god hetalia what have you done to me D8

pentatonikk @ 2008-12-12T17:23:00

2008-12-12T23:25:06Z

YOU GUYS YOU GUYS YOU GUYS

I AM IN COLLEGE

pentatonikk @ 2008-11-04T22:04:00

2008-11-05T04:06:14Z

HE WON YOU GUYS YOU GUYS HE WON
OMG
I CAN'T EVEN MAKE THE SPARKLES
I'M TOO EXCITED
HE WON

;~;

2008-11-04T03:15:10Z

Dear America,
let's not be dumb tomorrow, okay?
I would like to be eighteen a lot right now. not that the vote is at all contested in my state, but it's a good election to vote in, I think.
tentative love,
ME

public service announcement

2008-10-06T04:05:00Z

Obligatory school post is obligatory~

2008-08-20T01:19:59Z

I think I've forgotten how to write, in English or otherwise. This...could be a problem. I'm back in the jug agane (no, I never get tired of saying that) and my English teacher is pretty impressively hardcore. He's also dedicatedly boring and according to school legend will fail entire classes just to make a point.

Other fabulous highlights of my first semester of senior year:
-COLLEGE DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD8
-Math at 7:30 in the goddamn morning should be illegal.
-WHAT THE HELL WHEN DID I BECOME A SENIOR
-OKAY AT THE END OF THE LAST YEAR WHEN THE OTHER SENIORS GRADUATED
This list will probably be added to when I take my B/D classes tomorrow.

On a more positive note, I won't have to work in Spanish. Actually, I am procrastinating on Spanish homework right now. Well.

Maybe I should go do that.