Pen Cap Chew

White boy of the Year

Nikki — Sat, 03 Jan 2026 13:25:13 GMT

Happy New Year! 🍾

click for white boy wasted shenanigans

Site Updates

Let’s just get this out of the way. Montage of Kurt is currently hosted on a Leprd account, which I will be deactivating at the end of the month.¹ I haven’t quite decided but I might set up just a new index for the site somewhere else, but it may go down for a while in the meantime. It’s kind of a shame since the one year anniversary is coming up soon (February 20th- Kurt’s birthday), but I have to be honest that I don’t like its current state.

Anyway, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has left kind words about the site.

Kurt/Nirvana News

The week of Thanksgiving more audio from the November 25, 1991 session was released. It’s definitely a bit of a bummer session if you know about it, but it’s still worth a listen (could just be the stan in me talking).

As I mentioned on Status Cafe, the February 21, 1992 Hawaii concert audio premiered right before Christmas! This was definitely really fun to listen to and kinda a typical setlist for them but I loved hearing Lounge Act!

Other Stuff

I’m still trying to make tumblr happen and have learned the value of posting consistently. I’ve posted a couple of gifsets from new footage that has been released lately as well as some new photos(this just links to all of my original posts).

And because I still like to check r/Nirvana more often than I should I stumbled upon the post about a Paul McCartney radio interview where he chose to play Lithium. I think it’s always cool when The Beatles and Nirvana intersect (I’m aware that Kurt wasn’t a big fan of Paul but whatever).

1. This is no fault of Leprd- they're a great host. I just don't want to deal with Cpanel anymore. It's something I've been thinking about for a while now. It's also why Pen Cap Chew is on another host.

Edit 1/4/26: In a complete coincidence with my title, I happened to be checking out kurtcapsule again (after a while) and noticed that they posted a reader poll from a magazine that awarded Kurt with the “Dude of the Year” title in 1992.

Peace, love, empathy

Nikki

Rats!Rats!Rats!

Nikki — Sun, 16 Nov 2025 20:00:00 GMT

This morning I saw a post on r/Nirvana about a site called Grungeology, an interactive website for exploring areas around Aberdeen and Grays Harbor County (Kurt’s hometown). It’s by The Music Project, who also run the Unplugged museum which I mentioned earlier this year. I started going through it a bit and it’s really nicely done- there’s a 360° map with audio and text history of locations that were important in Kurt’s life.

I made a couple of 88x31 buttons! One for Montage of Kurt and one for Pen Cap Chew. I have them linked on the about page because I’m a bit attached the way the original buttons look on the index.

Since I had such a good time joining cliques and webrings on Montage of Kurt, I decided to join some for Pen Cap Chew (on the index). I had found a post on Robert Fisher’s (Nirvana’s art director) instagram Nirvana Bucket where he showed the Pantone color for the disc and back inlay for In Utero, so I knew I had to join Pantson eventually. I am also officially repping Unplugged in NY just in time for the anniversary on the 18th.

One more thing. Last night I found a connection between Nirvana and Deftones (my lifelong favorite band)- Frances Farmer. I was on her Wikipedia page and was surprised to see the song title Rats!Rats!Rats!¹ by Deftones was actually inspired by her tragic story. Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle is one of my favorites from Nirvana as well, and here is an interview of Kurt and the band talking about her.

1. On another note, I am happy to find out that Deftones World still exists, because sources were scarce looking into this.

Peace, love, empathy

Nikki

Play catch with some vibes

Nikki — Thu, 23 Oct 2025 20:00:00 GMT

Where was I all summer? Ha, I wish I could say I was doing exciting things, well…let’s just say I was off doing sidequests. Honestly though, Nirvana fall kinda hits. Plus, I had to come back before Halloween because of Live at the Paramount!

Site Updates

One of the only things I did on the main site over the past several months is separate the site into pages. I’m actually not happy with the way the site is structured right now (it makes me less likely to add more content), but I need some time to work on a revision so the site will be put on an official hiatus. For now I will be posting here, status cafe and tumblr.

Well, you should be looking at the new pencapchew.blog domain and layout! I hadn’t planned for this to be separate from the main site but I got carried away thinking about it and trying different things and arrived here. I redid my status cafe (which is also included on this site) a couple of months ago which is what informed this layout while still tying it to the main site theme. I’m still looking for a good handwritten font for the entries so any suggestions are welcome.

Kurt/Nirvana News

As I mentioned on status cafe, the Nirvana exhibit at MoPOP in Seattle closed on the 7th of September. Here is a good video of what the exhibit looked like 3 months after it opened in 2011. Meanwhile, The Royal College of Music museum has their Kurt Cobain Unplugged exhibit up until the 18th of November. I posted about it when it opened and have seen a number of posts on r/Nirvana of people visiting.

Also, this past week there have been newly surfaced clips of the infamous bathroom interview in 1991. Check them out here and here. Earlier this year this interview that took place the day before the Paramount show also got posted.

Other Stuff

Speaking of tumblr, I have actually been a bit active on there. I am focused on posting and reblogging less common pictures (plus anything new that gets posted- I have my sources), fanart, magazine and fanzine scans, plus any more gifsets that I make. I do plan on making montage-style gifs at some point.

Over the past two years I’ve shockingly seen a good chunk of photos relating to Nirvana, thanks to LiveNirvana (seriously, what would we do without them), Tumblr, Pinterest and various Instagram accounts. Right now I’m really loving kurtcapsule for all of their magazine scans.

That’s all for now. I do have a post coming up that I’m pretty excited about so look forward to that.

Peace, love, empathy

Nikki

90's Grunge Dreams

Nikki — Wed, 28 May 2025 20:00:00 GMT

Yes I will be including Livejournal icons with my posts from now on (as long as I remember to).

Site Updates

The photo gallery is live! Actually has been since uh…April 7th but I made some tweaks to it throughout that time anyway. So if you haven’t already you should check it out- there’s over 400 photos in there! It’s definitely a start and I want to post more if/when I can find my own host. There’s obviously a focus on Kurt pics but I’d like to include some great Nirvana shoots as well as some more great live shots. It’s sorted by year/photographer, and I’ve already been finding myself referring back to it. For such a short time in the spotlight Kurt had so many looks. He even looked like this for a hot second:

(of course he had blue hair and pronouns)

I also made an art gallery to showcase Kurt’s art in various forms. I just wanted to give more of a glimpse into his other talents (I’d also love to showcase videos in some way).

The guestbook has been revamped, new site buttons have been created and the discography, fact and quotes section have been added.

Future Plans

I started working on a redesign of this page (which you should be viewing here, although I’ve hit a snag with it. I’m also planning out a (most likely digital) zine which is something I haven’t done before (been saying that about so much stuff lately). It seems silly but I just want to use this site to do more fandom stuff. I’ve never been much of a fandom person (as evidenced from my Fanlore entry) but I’ve been finding the creative aspects really fun lately. I actually came up with a lot of harebrained ideas during April- only time will tell how many I actually go through with.

As I get more comfortable with writing again, I will be using this space to share longer book, film and album discussions and reviews. This is all of course just coming from a fan’s perspective, although I am familiar with audio engineering so I would like to look into that perspective as well.

This month I’ve added two more books to my Kurt reading list: Kurt Cobain: Forever In Bloom by Kelly Catlin (which came out on Kurt’s birthday this year and is unfortunately currently unavailable) and I Found My Friends: The Oral History of Nirvana by Nick Soulsby. I am also going through The Amplified Come As You Are: The Story of Nirvana by Michael Azerrad again to take notes and it’s just such an insightful read- highly recommended. I wish I had the foresight to have taken more notes while I was reading Kurt/Nirvana books (I only thought about making this site in January of this year) since they’re all a little jumbled in my mind.

Other Stuff

I’ve also made a tumblr account to post and reblog Kurt edits when I see them (starting with my own) kurtbuzz so follow if you want if you’re still on that platform. Let’s bring back grungeblr circa 2015!

I wanted to share a youtube channel that I’ve been watching since falling into the Kurt rabbit hole- 90’s Grunge Dreams. The videos look into the life of a teenage horror and Nirvana fan in the 90s- a great watch if you want to immerse yourself in that time period (What? I would never do that!). There are some Kurt and Nirvana related ones.

Finally, I’ve forgotten to mention that KEXP made a podcast on Kurt’s Top 50 albums (I’ve had this list in topster form on the site) - The Cobain 50. In fact, the series just finished so you can binge it all now if you’re into that sort of thing. I’ve only listened to a few episodes myself (including one that has an interview with the aforementioned Azerrad).

Peace, love, empathy

Nikki

31 years

Nikki — Sat, 05 Apr 2025 20:00:00 GMT

Thank you Kurt for sharing your music with the world.

Peace, love, empathy

Nikki

Spring is here again

Nikki — Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:00:00 GMT

I didn’t get much done this month because I’ve been focused on work and other online projects, but nonetheless I have other things to talk about.

First off, I have moved the blog to the Bear platform as I find it a much better fit at the moment. I just need to have a fast, reliable and easy way to get my thoughts down and this really seems like the perfect spot. I will also be using status cafe for smaller updates (and whatever one-liners I can post) and will add the cute little widget to the site at some point.

I properly added music to the site! ~~You can find a little playlist on the end of the “About A Girl” cassette (and in another song on a slightly hidden spot on the main tab).~~ Edit: It is now located in the footer of the site. I was a little hesitant on the approach but since this is a Kurt Cobain site I am only adding songs from the Montage of Heck soundtrack and other solo versions of Nirvana songs. I think the acoustic songs fit the vibe of the site well.

I do have plans to restructure the site a bit to try to make it easier to navigate and aim for better accessibility. I have been playing around with things behind the scenes though.

A couple of music-related mutuals have been added to the exit (“All Apologies”) page! Fritzi (thanks for the shoutout btw!), who runs Bohemian Sultriness, is a Beatles/John Lennon fan (like Kurt) and has a wonderful site full of music reviews (and other media) to explore. Also Bree, who owns Snowibunni, is a big fan of guitarist Paul Landers from Rammstein and writes many fangirling and thoughtful posts about him and fandom at large. Both left lovely messages in my guestbook.

One of my motivations in starting this site was to archive Kurt Cobain/Nirvana-related old web stuff. During one of my Nirvana searches I came across a couple of Internet Nirvana Fanclub screenshots:

The site still exits, but it’s here now.

Lastly, I don’t use Spotify anymore (as of Jan 2025), but I saw someone mention that volt.fm has a roast feature and I couldn’t resist:

And what’s with your most-played songs? Half of your top ten is basically the same Nirvana songs over and over again! You’re about one more “Dive” away from actually going for a solo swim in the shallow end of the musical pool. “Sappy - 2013 Mix”? Is that the version you cry to while bingeing on snacks and reminiscing about every bad decision you’ve made since high school?

Peace, love, empathy

Nikki

Never met a wise man, if so it's a woman

Nikki — Sat, 08 Mar 2025 20:00:00 GMT

This International Women’s Day, I’d like to highlight three excellent articles about Kurt Cobain written by women.

Kurt Cobain Made Me The Weird, Mixed Up Black Chick I Am Today by Ashley Reese
Been a Son: Kurt Cobain and His Challenge to the Masculine Ideal by Rebecca Howden
Don’t Hurt Girls When You Dance (Or Any Other Time) by Juno Stump

Peace, love, empathy

Nikki

Also Kurt was really buoyant

Nikki — Sun, 02 Mar 2025 20:00:00 GMT

I fixed the main tab section, linked the chatbox, moved fanlistings there, and joined/added some more cliques and webrings. My ability to make every clique and webring about Kurt needs to be studied. I also added the recently purchased Treasures of Nirvana book to the media section, and a few more links.

I came across this youtube short and my mind has been fixated on it for days.

Peace, love, empathy

Nikki

All Roads Lead to Nirvana

Nikki — Sun, 23 Feb 2025 20:00:00 GMT

A random, innocent, and unrelated trip to Fanlore turned into me finding a page on the Nirvana fandom. I’ve only ever accidentally found myself on this site, but today I was thinking about things that constitute as fanwork and it was the first link on Google. So I went from Fanwork > Fansite > Neocities (home of one of my first real sites on the internet) > BLEW (which has already been linked on this site) > Nirvana (band). Anyway, some pretty interesting stuff on that page.

I’ve dipped my toes in Nirvana RPF with AO3 and the BLEW fansite so reading the tropes surprised me (given the little I’ve read is not like this): “The broader fandom leans towards the deification and masculinization of Kurt (he described himself as “feminine”). Surprisingly, there doesn’t seem to be much woobification of him in fic, despite the vast potential for this. This seems to happen more often in fan art, where artists sometimes focus on Kurt’s on stage preference for wearing dresses and depict him as small, fragile, and with female-looking anatomy.”

Also of interest to me are the Kurt Cobain graphic novel and the Heart-Shaped Mailing Box (born after the original Territorial Pissings mailing list shut down). The alt.music.nirvana usenet newsgroup, which was created the day it was announced that Kurt passed, has been brought up in various subreddits including r/Nirvana. Also love that Kurt’s Nirvana “fanfiction” and fan art were mentioned on the page. By the way, I have also not seen Last Days (2005) but I’ll get to that in time.

All in all, a fun read!

Peace, love, empathy

Nikki

Small Updates

Nikki — Sat, 22 Feb 2025 20:00:00 GMT

I added a link to the newly opened Kurt Cobain tribute gallery called Unplugged under the Places to Visit section. There is now an RSS feed in case for some reason you’d like to keep up with these updates/ramblings.

Thinking about where I should move the chatbox (yes, there is one on the site that someone has found already- see if you can find it too!). I also had a neat Nirvana-skinned webamp player on the site while I was making it, but I don’t know if I’ll be using it as it’s super hard to configure for mobile.

I leave you with this bittersweet story from Tony Hawk’s instagram story:

Peace, love, empathy

Nikki

Montage of Kurt Opening/Kurt's 58th Birthday

Nikki — Thu, 20 Feb 2025 20:00:00 GMT

Today is the official launch day of Montage of Kurt, celebrating what would have been Kurt’s 58th birthday! I wanted to make this site to honor him and all of the incredible contributions his art made to the world. His creativity, passion, heart and humor inspires me in so many ways. I’m still a newer super fan (from the end of 2023) so there’s still things for me to explore (such as bootlegs).

In the time I started planning and working on this site, we’ve had not one but two (edited to include official video) Nirvana “reunions,” and are still seeing newly released content every now and then, which is amazing for for an over 30 year old band. In addition to site updates, I’ll be using this space to also keep updated on those things.

So happy birthday, Kurt. You are truly missed and may you be remembered forever.

Peace, love, empathy

Nikki