Dead End Love - Chapter Four
Title: Dead End Love - Chapter Four
Pairing: Pete/Patrick
Rating: Whatever cursing/undressing/showering is...
Summary: The hardest part is trying to conquer the inner demons. (Post!Logos.)
Notes: Still in Pete's POV. Andy's still has his appearance. Enjoy the special scene.
Dedications: To Petrick, my glorious beta. To Brandie, my favorite PxP writer right now. To Jubey, who currently has just gone through surgery (<3 you tons Sugah!) And to all you faithful readers, commenters and lurkers! I <3 you guys! =D
Drama Status: Still serious. (And maybe a slap on the butt of subtle humor?)
I grinned even more when his eyes lifted, giving me a lazy morning grin.
I watched him roll over and push on the bed until he was sitting up and
his back was against the headboard. Watching him do things himself
right now was really cute. I’m not sure why, but my brain decided it
just was.
I pushed into the room, quietly going about shutting the door. I
figured Andy deserved the sleep he was going for on the couch. If I had
it in me, I’d do him the favor of moving him to my empty bedroom. The
only problem with that was that I was smaller and probably weaker.
“Morning sunshine.”
I got another smile from him, one of the genuine ones that always make
my day brighter. Mostly because I hate seeing the depressed look
throughout his face. Especially when they’re embedded into his eyes and
it sends the shiver down my back.
Maybe I can’t really forget what happened, but sometimes when I’m with
him, those thoughts become lost and forgotten somewhere in the back of
my mind. I’ve gotten over it, but I know he hasn’t. It’s fairly obvious.
“What’s with the gown?”
I looked down. I had completely forgotten I was wearing it like a
skirt. I let out a nervous laugh before moving over to the bed. I sat
down on the opposite edge of the bed. I got myself situated comfortably
beside him. I lazily moved my hands up and moved them behind my head.
“Went to see our good doctor.”
He gave me a confused look, “What’s wrong, Wentz?”
I wanted to bury my face between the palms of my hands. I don’t think
it was obvious to him how distant that makes me feel. This hurts about
as much as the river of liquid fire. But there was no way I was gonna
let Patrick see how much it hurts to be called that. Especially by him
while he’s awake and when it’s just us – a face he recognizes but can’t
place a name.
“Nothing. I got antibiotic or immunity drug… things.”
Which was true. It was safe to say that the infection would be gone
soon. And I didn’t have to worry about peeing another river of pure
fire again. But as well as we know one another, it probably worried him
because I never go to see doctors unless I needed to.
“Are you okay?”
“I will be in a couple days. It’s just an infection.”
I wasn’t about to worry Patrick over the infection that would be going
away in a couple of days. He had enough psychological problems of his
own. He doesn’t need to develop sympathy pains for me. Call me weird,
but I actually want to see Patrick get better. And soon.
I really do love him more when he shines on stage and off stage. I love
it when he shines in general, just because I know that I’m making a
difference for him in some small way. And his smile is worth more than
the sad eyes he’s giving me now.
“Why didn’t you tell me you had to go?”
“You were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.”
I just found the perfect little speck across the room to stare at. So I
just kept staring at it instead of him. He sighed. I wasn’t sure if
that meant he was upset I didn’t tell him, or if he was half relieved I
didn’t wake him up. Sleep for him was a touchy subject so I let it go,
as usual.
“Andy’s chilling out on the couch. I think he didn’t get any sleep.”
“Oh.”
It wasn’t an ‘oh’ as in ‘okay’. It wasn’t even near the ‘whatever’ kind
of ‘oh.’ I think he brought a new meaning to the word ‘oh.’ The kind of
word where you change the meaning by defining how you say it. I do
it a lot, so I should know. But for Patrick to do that was a bit
strange.
I turned my head a little to look at him in a glance over. I caught the
sweat trickling down his face and I think I jumped into Andy!Mode,
because I leaned over and put my hand to his forehead. He felt a little
warm to me, but it could be just because he woke up. I’m like that when
I wake up. I’m all warm and flushed. But the sweat isn’t one of those
things that he has early in the morning.
“You feeling all right?”
“I have one monstrous headache.”
He’s such a liar. He doesn’t want me to worry so much about him, but he
doesn’t seem to get the fact that I do anyway. Besides, he probably has
to pee and doesn’t want to hobble by himself to the bathroom.
“I know one thing that will get to you feel a little better.”
“Breakfast?”
“Besides that.”
He turned to look at me, my hand slid down of it’s own accord to cup his cheek.
“A movie?”
“No, we have to be in my room for Lifetime…”
“Oh…”
I leaned over and whispered into his ear. I didn’t need to, but I
wanted the excuse anyway. It seemed like I was just finding more and
more excuses to get closer to him without actually doing anything. He
didn’t seem to be catching onto my flirting. He’s not a dense guy, but
maybe he just doesn’t like me like that. Honestly, I wouldn’t blame
him. Who'd like a guy with a urination fetish... like me?
“…OH…”
Patrick was blushing. Score one for Peterpanda.
I slid off the bed and moved to the other side. With everything else
that seems to be a like a ritual, it was more clockwork. I helped him
up off the bed, being one of his crutches as he half hobbled his way
with me to the bathroom. We were careful not to disturb Andy on our
way. The guy deserved to sleep without disturbance, so we’d have to
keep our noise level down in the bathroom.
I helped him sit awkwardly on the edge of the bathtub. Then I moved
about getting the towels and everything else. When I found everything
was where it ought to be and he was ready, I shut the door.
“Dude, you’re gonna have to strip first.”
“You mean I have to be naked?” He gasped at me, mockingly.
“Sheesh, after how many sponge baths, you keep forgetting you have to be undressed?”
I mocked in return. He laughed at me, his shoulders shaking just a
little bit. I could see his teeth, his canines to be precise. They were
slightly pointy, and reminded me of vampire teeth. Am I possibly wrong
(as in inappropriate because I know I’m not incorrect) for half wanting
him to bite me. I honestly just want to know what it feels like.
Dammit, if I sleep tonight, I’ll have yet another fantasy to add to my List of Things I Want Patrick to do to Me.
I took my shirt off and dropped it on the floor, because after he had
his sponge bath… I was going to take a shower. No offense to my own
stink, but I don’t enjoy little Peter being hidden beneath a hospital
gown after the river of liquid fire. Being clean would make ME feel a
whole lot better.
Note to self: Commit This to Memory
“One of these days I’m going to give you the bill for this.”
“Oh c’mon. You know you like it.”
“If I liked it… I wouldn’t charge you for it.”
I was trying so hard not to laugh when Patrick whined at me. He had
that cute little pouty lip jutted out at me and quivering. And those
puppy dog eyes, which can get me to do almost anything, were staring at
me. Sometimes I think he knows it’s like my Kryptonite.
The only reason I’m the one giving him sponge baths is because he’s not
supposed to take showers or baths until the staples are taken out.
Plus, I have an excuse to play with his hair and see him naked. I’m
such a pervy Patrick fancier, to which I proudly admit. That and the
fact that I flat out said no to Andy offering, and because we all knew
that Joe would automatically say no.
I leaned over and held up the two different shampoo bottles. I can be
very nice when I want to be. There was the green apple Suave bottle and
the travel size Aussie (Mega). Both were really nice smelling so it
didn’t matter which he chose, just because I was the one who was going
to wash his hair. It’s not like he was going to object by the sounds of
it.
I think I’ve created a sponge bath fiend.
He chose the Suave bottle which meant he was more in the mood for a
good subtle smell. That’s okay, it just means I have to be that much
closer to smell his hair.
I love the look on his face when his eyes close. He looks so vulnerable
and so… porno-iffic. I know what it’s like to have someone else wash
your hair. It’s so relaxing - I can imagine how he feels. When my hands
lather and move through his hair and just massage his scalp, I can’t
help but enjoy washing his hair when I get to see his features twist to
where I know he’s enjoying it so much that he almost falls asleep.
Just dimly over the sound of the water, Patrick said something, but I
can’t hear him. I see his lips move and maybe he’s mummbling like he
always does when he’s not sure of what to say. Either way, it makes me
smile when I move the detachable showerhead to rinse his hair.
Sometimes I also think he enjoys this more than I do. Even though I am
a pervert, I don’t watch to see if he enjoys it like that. I’m not like
him, who catches me peeing and then denies that he did. Hell, I’d
probably admit it with pride, but I don’t want to weird him out right
now. He’s getting used to me as a whole person again, I think.
And when it comes to sponging the rest of Patrick I have one rule. I
may like Patrick enough to wash everything, but he can wash little
Patrick himself. He’s kind enough to respect that or he also just
doesn’t want my perverted hands playing with him.
I felt myself twitch and I had to stop thinking or it was going to be
really hard to cover up. That or I could be lucky and he could think
that I’m thinking about some cute girl…Or Joe’s mom. I should
think about her, maybe the twitching would stop.
I groped for the towel behind me while he did his thing so I didn’t
have to watch. For once I’m being extra courteous. Then I dropped the
towel. He couldn’t have said what I thought he did…
“I…could give you bath in return…”
Nah, I was hearing things. I had to. Patrick’s not that forward -
especially with me right now. I’ll just ignore because I’m probably
sure I’m just having another daytime fantasy. I handed him the towel
when I had picked it back up.
“I’ll take a shower after I check on Andy.”
I looked at the door before looking back over at Patrick. His hair was
still dripping wet, but that’s okay. My room was always warmer than
his. He set the towel over his lap, reaching out to me for the shirt. I
handed it to him before I handed him the boxers.
Patrick usually likes to curl up in my room and watch Lifetime
afterward. It’s like a comfortable ritual where we don’t have to say
anything after the bath. I usually end up napping with him in my room
because I’m finally tired enough to sleep, but right now, I was just
distressed. I needed down time with someone else for a little while. I
just can’t handle being called Wentz during the day.
I figured if I got Patrick settled down, I could check on Andy and give
Joe a call. I’m sure he’s bored if he’s not hanging out with his
current girlfriend. It’d be kind of nice if we did since I haven’t
really seen him much in the last two weeks.
It’d also buy me time with figuring out what to cook for dinner. I owe
Andy a lot, even if he tells me I don’t have to do anything. I want to.
I want him to know how much I appreciate what he’s done for us both. Oh
god, I sound like the two of us are already a couple.
He half hobbled as I helped him out of the bathroom. I was splattered
with water from the movement of Patrick’s hair. I didn’t mind about
that. What I did mind was the look I got from Andy. He was facing the
bathroom from where the couch was positioned. The look on his
half-asleep face… I think I mirrored it when I realized that I was still naked.
Jesus, when did I become Sigourney Weaver?
You can find the previous chapters here:
Chapter Three
Chapter Two
Chapter One
Pairing: Pete/Patrick
Rating: Whatever cursing/undressing/showering is...
Summary: The hardest part is trying to conquer the inner demons. (Post!Logos.)
Notes: Still in Pete's POV. Andy's still has his appearance. Enjoy the special scene.
Dedications: To Petrick, my glorious beta. To Brandie, my favorite PxP writer right now. To Jubey, who currently has just gone through surgery (<3 you tons Sugah!) And to all you faithful readers, commenters and lurkers! I <3 you guys! =D
Drama Status: Still serious. (And maybe a slap on the butt of subtle humor?)
I grinned even more when his eyes lifted, giving me a lazy morning grin.
I watched him roll over and push on the bed until he was sitting up and
his back was against the headboard. Watching him do things himself
right now was really cute. I’m not sure why, but my brain decided it
just was.
I pushed into the room, quietly going about shutting the door. I
figured Andy deserved the sleep he was going for on the couch. If I had
it in me, I’d do him the favor of moving him to my empty bedroom. The
only problem with that was that I was smaller and probably weaker.
“Morning sunshine.”
I got another smile from him, one of the genuine ones that always make
my day brighter. Mostly because I hate seeing the depressed look
throughout his face. Especially when they’re embedded into his eyes and
it sends the shiver down my back.
Maybe I can’t really forget what happened, but sometimes when I’m with
him, those thoughts become lost and forgotten somewhere in the back of
my mind. I’ve gotten over it, but I know he hasn’t. It’s fairly obvious.
“What’s with the gown?”
I looked down. I had completely forgotten I was wearing it like a
skirt. I let out a nervous laugh before moving over to the bed. I sat
down on the opposite edge of the bed. I got myself situated comfortably
beside him. I lazily moved my hands up and moved them behind my head.
“Went to see our good doctor.”
He gave me a confused look, “What’s wrong, Wentz?”
I wanted to bury my face between the palms of my hands. I don’t think
it was obvious to him how distant that makes me feel. This hurts about
as much as the river of liquid fire. But there was no way I was gonna
let Patrick see how much it hurts to be called that. Especially by him
while he’s awake and when it’s just us – a face he recognizes but can’t
place a name.
“Nothing. I got antibiotic or immunity drug… things.”
Which was true. It was safe to say that the infection would be gone
soon. And I didn’t have to worry about peeing another river of pure
fire again. But as well as we know one another, it probably worried him
because I never go to see doctors unless I needed to.
“Are you okay?”
“I will be in a couple days. It’s just an infection.”
I wasn’t about to worry Patrick over the infection that would be going
away in a couple of days. He had enough psychological problems of his
own. He doesn’t need to develop sympathy pains for me. Call me weird,
but I actually want to see Patrick get better. And soon.
I really do love him more when he shines on stage and off stage. I love
it when he shines in general, just because I know that I’m making a
difference for him in some small way. And his smile is worth more than
the sad eyes he’s giving me now.
“Why didn’t you tell me you had to go?”
“You were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you.”
I just found the perfect little speck across the room to stare at. So I
just kept staring at it instead of him. He sighed. I wasn’t sure if
that meant he was upset I didn’t tell him, or if he was half relieved I
didn’t wake him up. Sleep for him was a touchy subject so I let it go,
as usual.
“Andy’s chilling out on the couch. I think he didn’t get any sleep.”
“Oh.”
It wasn’t an ‘oh’ as in ‘okay’. It wasn’t even near the ‘whatever’ kind
of ‘oh.’ I think he brought a new meaning to the word ‘oh.’ The kind of
word where you change the meaning by defining how you say it. I do
it a lot, so I should know. But for Patrick to do that was a bit
strange.
I turned my head a little to look at him in a glance over. I caught the
sweat trickling down his face and I think I jumped into Andy!Mode,
because I leaned over and put my hand to his forehead. He felt a little
warm to me, but it could be just because he woke up. I’m like that when
I wake up. I’m all warm and flushed. But the sweat isn’t one of those
things that he has early in the morning.
“You feeling all right?”
“I have one monstrous headache.”
He’s such a liar. He doesn’t want me to worry so much about him, but he
doesn’t seem to get the fact that I do anyway. Besides, he probably has
to pee and doesn’t want to hobble by himself to the bathroom.
“I know one thing that will get to you feel a little better.”
“Breakfast?”
“Besides that.”
He turned to look at me, my hand slid down of it’s own accord to cup his cheek.
“A movie?”
“No, we have to be in my room for Lifetime…”
“Oh…”
I leaned over and whispered into his ear. I didn’t need to, but I
wanted the excuse anyway. It seemed like I was just finding more and
more excuses to get closer to him without actually doing anything. He
didn’t seem to be catching onto my flirting. He’s not a dense guy, but
maybe he just doesn’t like me like that. Honestly, I wouldn’t blame
him. Who'd like a guy with a urination fetish... like me?
“…OH…”
Patrick was blushing. Score one for Peterpanda.
I slid off the bed and moved to the other side. With everything else
that seems to be a like a ritual, it was more clockwork. I helped him
up off the bed, being one of his crutches as he half hobbled his way
with me to the bathroom. We were careful not to disturb Andy on our
way. The guy deserved to sleep without disturbance, so we’d have to
keep our noise level down in the bathroom.
I helped him sit awkwardly on the edge of the bathtub. Then I moved
about getting the towels and everything else. When I found everything
was where it ought to be and he was ready, I shut the door.
“Dude, you’re gonna have to strip first.”
“You mean I have to be naked?” He gasped at me, mockingly.
“Sheesh, after how many sponge baths, you keep forgetting you have to be undressed?”
I mocked in return. He laughed at me, his shoulders shaking just a
little bit. I could see his teeth, his canines to be precise. They were
slightly pointy, and reminded me of vampire teeth. Am I possibly wrong
(as in inappropriate because I know I’m not incorrect) for half wanting
him to bite me. I honestly just want to know what it feels like.
Dammit, if I sleep tonight, I’ll have yet another fantasy to add to my List of Things I Want Patrick to do to Me.
I took my shirt off and dropped it on the floor, because after he had
his sponge bath… I was going to take a shower. No offense to my own
stink, but I don’t enjoy little Peter being hidden beneath a hospital
gown after the river of liquid fire. Being clean would make ME feel a
whole lot better.
Note to self: Commit This to Memory
“One of these days I’m going to give you the bill for this.”
“Oh c’mon. You know you like it.”
“If I liked it… I wouldn’t charge you for it.”
I was trying so hard not to laugh when Patrick whined at me. He had
that cute little pouty lip jutted out at me and quivering. And those
puppy dog eyes, which can get me to do almost anything, were staring at
me. Sometimes I think he knows it’s like my Kryptonite.
The only reason I’m the one giving him sponge baths is because he’s not
supposed to take showers or baths until the staples are taken out.
Plus, I have an excuse to play with his hair and see him naked. I’m
such a pervy Patrick fancier, to which I proudly admit. That and the
fact that I flat out said no to Andy offering, and because we all knew
that Joe would automatically say no.
I leaned over and held up the two different shampoo bottles. I can be
very nice when I want to be. There was the green apple Suave bottle and
the travel size Aussie (Mega). Both were really nice smelling so it
didn’t matter which he chose, just because I was the one who was going
to wash his hair. It’s not like he was going to object by the sounds of
it.
I think I’ve created a sponge bath fiend.
He chose the Suave bottle which meant he was more in the mood for a
good subtle smell. That’s okay, it just means I have to be that much
closer to smell his hair.
I love the look on his face when his eyes close. He looks so vulnerable
and so… porno-iffic. I know what it’s like to have someone else wash
your hair. It’s so relaxing - I can imagine how he feels. When my hands
lather and move through his hair and just massage his scalp, I can’t
help but enjoy washing his hair when I get to see his features twist to
where I know he’s enjoying it so much that he almost falls asleep.
Just dimly over the sound of the water, Patrick said something, but I
can’t hear him. I see his lips move and maybe he’s mummbling like he
always does when he’s not sure of what to say. Either way, it makes me
smile when I move the detachable showerhead to rinse his hair.
Sometimes I also think he enjoys this more than I do. Even though I am
a pervert, I don’t watch to see if he enjoys it like that. I’m not like
him, who catches me peeing and then denies that he did. Hell, I’d
probably admit it with pride, but I don’t want to weird him out right
now. He’s getting used to me as a whole person again, I think.
And when it comes to sponging the rest of Patrick I have one rule. I
may like Patrick enough to wash everything, but he can wash little
Patrick himself. He’s kind enough to respect that or he also just
doesn’t want my perverted hands playing with him.
I felt myself twitch and I had to stop thinking or it was going to be
really hard to cover up. That or I could be lucky and he could think
that I’m thinking about some cute girl…Or Joe’s mom. I should
think about her, maybe the twitching would stop.
I groped for the towel behind me while he did his thing so I didn’t
have to watch. For once I’m being extra courteous. Then I dropped the
towel. He couldn’t have said what I thought he did…
“I…could give you bath in return…”
Nah, I was hearing things. I had to. Patrick’s not that forward -
especially with me right now. I’ll just ignore because I’m probably
sure I’m just having another daytime fantasy. I handed him the towel
when I had picked it back up.
“I’ll take a shower after I check on Andy.”
I looked at the door before looking back over at Patrick. His hair was
still dripping wet, but that’s okay. My room was always warmer than
his. He set the towel over his lap, reaching out to me for the shirt. I
handed it to him before I handed him the boxers.
Patrick usually likes to curl up in my room and watch Lifetime
afterward. It’s like a comfortable ritual where we don’t have to say
anything after the bath. I usually end up napping with him in my room
because I’m finally tired enough to sleep, but right now, I was just
distressed. I needed down time with someone else for a little while. I
just can’t handle being called Wentz during the day.
I figured if I got Patrick settled down, I could check on Andy and give
Joe a call. I’m sure he’s bored if he’s not hanging out with his
current girlfriend. It’d be kind of nice if we did since I haven’t
really seen him much in the last two weeks.
It’d also buy me time with figuring out what to cook for dinner. I owe
Andy a lot, even if he tells me I don’t have to do anything. I want to.
I want him to know how much I appreciate what he’s done for us both. Oh
god, I sound like the two of us are already a couple.
He half hobbled as I helped him out of the bathroom. I was splattered
with water from the movement of Patrick’s hair. I didn’t mind about
that. What I did mind was the look I got from Andy. He was facing the
bathroom from where the couch was positioned. The look on his
half-asleep face… I think I mirrored it when I realized that I was still naked.
Jesus, when did I become Sigourney Weaver?
You can find the previous chapters here:
Chapter Three
Chapter Two
Chapter One