Looking Up (part 1 of possibly more)
Title: Looking Up
Author:
beanpie3
Summery: Pete is Patrick's english teacher. He starts to develop a crush on the very straight boy. What happens when people start to think they're together?
Rating:im not good at these, but possibly G, maybe PG-13 for some swears
How did we get here?
Pete really didn’t intend for this to happen. It wasn’t as though he woke up one Monday morning and thought ‘I’m bored. I know I should develop a completely pointless and inappropriate crush on one of my very straight and young students.’ And ok, it didn’t happen quite like that. He wasn’t looking at his senior English students, and all of a sudden he had a crush, it took a while to develop. He’s been teaching the same class since he got his English diploma, and they were sophomores, so he obviously felt nothing towards them beyond the normal feelings of a teacher. However, he could see by the end of that year that many of them were changing, growing up.
His crush didn’t start till a third of the way through the classes’ senior year.
He’d always been fond of one particular student. He wasn’t the most apt at the writing part of English, but he could analysis the shit out of anything you put in front of him. He always managed to decipher Pete’s metaphors, so he knew some of the crazy shit that went on in Pete’s brain. In some ways that made Pete attracted to him.
He knew what was going on in Pete’s brain, but he was still willing to talk to him, even sometimes helped Pete out with his problems. Pete thought of him as more than a friend, and that was dangerous. The boy had a girlfriend, who he’d been with since the beginning of sophomore year; he didn’t need a fuck up like Pete crushing on him. And Pete knew that if he let them be friends for any longer, he would do something he’d regret.
“Hey Pete! Did you go see that band I told you about?” Pete frowned. Now was a good time as any to nip this in the bud. “Don’t you have a class to go to?” Pete knew for a fact that he didn’t. They both had free periods, and would usually spend it working on written English. The boy looked confused. “You know I don’t. You feeling alright?” he stepped up to Pete and pressed the back of his cool hand against his cheek. Pete had to repress a slight groan. “We can skip the working part if you want. I got pasta.”
“I have. You know that.” He can’t stop himself from grinning as Patrick grins and rolls his eyes. “Fine. Fine. I have pasta. And there’s too much for me to eat by myself.” He frowns slightly at his lunch. “Anna wants me to lose weight.” Pete has to bite back the indignant ‘but you’re perfect’ that rises to his lips. He just cocks his head, and waits for Patrick to talk. “We’ve gone up on popularity ladder.” Pete can here the sneer, knows he doesn’t care about shit like that, would rather just get through with good marks, get to a good college, and do what he loves. “And she thinks that I need to ‘look the part’. If I was good enough for her before, why can’t I be now? She’s. She’s completely obsessed with becoming popular, and all that shit. It’s like anything I do now is wrong. We can’t go to the places we used to because they’re not cool enough, we have to go to the fucking mall, and stand around with everyone else, judging people. Do you know how quickly you run out of things to do in the mall? We spend hours there Pete. Fucking hours! What’s wrong with the music store? She used to love it there, but that’s for band geeks now. I can’t even go visit the Way’s because they work in a comic book store, and that’s for geeks.”
“Have you talked to her about this?” Pete does an internal victory dance. It sounds as though they could be on the road to breaking up. As soon as he realizes his thoughts he stops. He shouldn’t care if they break up. “Yeah. But she just blows me off! I’m not allowed to hang out with Joe cause he’s not ‘cool’, she was even having a go about me and you hanging out. She was all ‘it’s weird; people are going to think you’re a teachers pet’. Who gives a fuck! I would rather be a teachers pet and get into college than hang around the fucking mall for hour upon hour every stinking day.” Pete smiles tightly, about to suggest something that will mean he’ll make things harder for himself. “Maybe. Maybe you need to break up? You’re obviously heading in different directions. She sounds as though she’s making you neglect your studies because it’s cool. She wont think it’s so cool when she has to repeat the year.” Patrick smiles slightly sadly, sighing. “Maybe you’re right. I used to love being around her, now all she does is make me want to stab something. God, if we weren’t in school I would give you a hug.” Pete grins at him, looking out into the hall. “No-one out there. All in class, and will be for another half-hour.” He says it jokingly, but Patrick walks up to the desk he’s sitting on, nudging Pete’s legs apart and standing in the V. he wraps his arms around Pete and presses his face into his neck. Pete sits still for a moment before wrapping his arms around the younger and attentively pressing a kiss to his forehead. Patrick stiffens slightly before relaxing and pressing a kiss to Pete’s shoulder. They stay that way for a moment before they pull apart, smiling at each other awkwardly. Patrick presses a soft kiss to Pete’s cheek before moving away, grabbing his bag and heading out.
Pete heads home, claiming he’s sick and using two weeks of his paid sick leave.
I had it all, but not what I wanted
Pete’s plan of avoiding Patrick until he can deal things better is thwarted when a crying Patrick turns up on his doorstep four days into his sick leave. Pete quickly ushers him inside and sets him on the couch, heading into the kitchen to get them both drinks. As he goes back into the living room, he glances at the clock, and realizes that Patrick is skipping school to be here. “Patrick. Why are you missing Spanish?”
“Pete why do you know my schedule, and why are you skipping teaching all your classes?” Patrick mocks back. Pete sighs and sits down handing Patrick the soda. “I’ve taken sick leave, as you probably know, seen as I haven’t been in the past couple of days, and I’m sure you asked.” Patrick smiles a little at how well Pete knows him. “And I know your schedule because every teacher gets assigned a few students for each year, which they have to keep an eye on. I happen to have you. And when we started to become friends, I made it my business to know your schedule.” Pete senses Patrick bristle. “So. You only started talking to me because you were assigned to me?” Pete sighs again. “No. I started talking to you because you are amazing at the subject I teach.” Patrick snorts. “Well, not completely amazing, you do really, really fail at writing, but you can analyze the shit out of anything. And you are probably the first person to really get what my metaphors mean.” Patrick smiles a small smile at that. “And I carried on talking to you because you’re cool and you like the same things that I do.” Patrick settles back into the couch, all traces of tears gone. “Keep saying nice things. God knows I need them.” Pete frowns and settles next to Patrick, their arms and legs pressed together. “What’s happened?” Patrick turns, putting his foot on the seat and turning his leg so it rests in Pete’s lap, and Pete automatically rests his hand on the jean clad thigh. Pete’s frown deepens as he realizes that over the time he’s known Patrick they’ve sat like this too many times, and they are both to used to this. If it happened in school, he would be fired so quickly.
“I broke up with Anna.” Pete’s attention quickly snaps back to Patrick. “I told her everything I told you. How I just don’t care enough to do the whole popular thing.” Pete winces and he squeezes Patrick's leg. “Please tell me you didn’t say it like that!” Patrick turns his head giving Pete a glare. “Right. Course you didn’t, because you have more tact than I ever will.” Patrick mumbles a ‘damn straight’ before carrying on. “I told her on Monday after we talked, and I may have mentioned that I talked it through with you, and I may have called you Pete by accident.” Pete winces. Patrick only calls him Pete when they’re alone. Pete ignores the thrill he gets when he thinks ‘that’s mine and Patrick’s secret’. “And then she may have gone around telling everyone that I we’re obviously fucking each other.” Pete’s hand clenches where it’s attached to Patrick’s thigh. “I set her right, but everyone’s talking about it. And I was dealing with it fine, just a few comments here and there. But today I got called into the principles office. And Pete. Fuck. My mom and dad where there. And they all thought we were having sex, and they were saying shit like ‘it’s ok, he can’t hurt you. It’s not your fault.’ and you should have seen my mom and dads faces. They were disappointed. They’ve never been disappointed in me! And they wouldn’t believe me.” Patrick starts gulping and tears start to fall again. Pete really wants to hug him, but he thinks that it might make things worst. The decision is taken away from him when Patrick buries his face in Pete’s neck, sobs wracking his body. “Pete wraps his arms around him and kisses his temple. Patrick clenches his t-shirt tightly and all but climbs in Pete’s lap in order to receive more comfort. Pete lies down allows Patrick to lie on top of him. (And Pete’s ashamed to admit to himself that they’ve done this before as well). Patrick sobs slowly getting quieter, his body relaxing. And soon he’s asleep. Pete closes his eyes and tries to think of ways to make this better, instead of how he’s fucking hard, and Patrick’s a deep sleeper (and he really doesn’t want to think about how he knows that) and all the things he could do.
Finally he falls asleep as well, only to wake up (after a fucking amazing dream) to find himself still warm from Patrick’s body warmth, with a crick in his neck and an embarrassing wet patch in his pants that’s cooling at the same rate as the rest of his body. He groans and palms at his face realizing what must have happened.
“Fuck”
“That just about sums it up, yea.” Pete looks up to see a shower wet Patrick. He wants to jump and dance form the fact that Patrick’s still here. Embarrassed as hell, yea, but still here. And that’s what matters
“We should talk.” And fuck, Pete knows that serious ‘nothing will change my mind’ face.
“Fuck”
The truth never set me free
They stand around awkwardly for a few moments before Patrick starts to speak. “So I think it would maybe
be a good thing if we didn’t speak to each other for a while.” Pete turns around under the pretense of
gathering their cans together, and rearranging the couch. Taking a few deep breaths as he does, forcing himself not to cry. “Yeah. Maybe that’s a good idea.” And there’s no way that Patrick didn’t hear his voice crack. Because Patrick knows him far too well. “Shit Pete. Don’t do that.” Pete turns around cans in hand and shrugs at Patrick before moving past him to the kitchen. “Don’t do what? I’m not doing anything.”
“Yes you are.” Patrick stays in the hall between the kitchen and living room. “And you know it. You’re doing that thing when you withdraw into yourself because you think that someone you like doesn’t like you.” Pete grips the counter and breathes deeply. “I still want to talk to you and hang out, and what the fuck ever, but we can’t really do that while everyone thinks we’re fucking.” Patrick’s voice is getting steadily louder. “And I can’t do it while you want to fuck me! You could get fired Pete. Shit, you could be put in prison!” By the end Patrick is shouting, and he sounds so panicked. Panicked about what will (could) happen to Pete. “They can’t put me in prison. I don’t think that they’ll fire me either.” He turns to see Patrick looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “No evidence. No-one has ever seen us hang out. I’m pretty sure if they check, they’ll see that no-one has fucked you, and they won’t check to see if I’ve been fucked, because that wouldn’t mean anything. Not to them anyway. Then they can’t take it to court because I hope you wouldn’t testify against me.” Patrick makes an indignant noise that makes Pete smile. Small and bitter, but a smile none the less. “They’ll probably have people follow us around for a while, well until you graduate. We can hang out again a few weeks after you graduate.” Patrick heads into the kitchen at that.
“Will that be enough time for you? You know, will you stop wanting to fuck me?” Pete considers telling the truth, but he thinks if he does he will never see Patrick again. (Except, you know, in class.) “Yeah. I think so. I mean, it’s not as though I was going to act on it anyway.” Patrick smiles at him a little unsure. “I’ll take the rest of my sick leave, and when I come back, we’ll just be teacher and student. I’ll treat you like I treat everyone else.” Patrick smiles again, slightly more genuine this time. “I’ll change your name on my phone, so my parents don’t know it’s you. And call and text, like a lot.” Patrick is moving closer to Pete as he talks. He looks regretful. “This is kind of my fault isn’t it? I should have thought about what I was going to say to Anna before I said it.” Patrick is very close to Pete now. So close that Pete can tell that Patrick used his shower gel and shampoo. Pete feels as though he’s been kicked in the chest. That’s what he wants to smell everyday. Patrick and him. Mixed together in a way that makes his throat feel tight. His breath short. His dick hard. Fuck.
Then Patrick’s hugging him as though he never wants to let go. Pete closes his eyes and grips Patrick tighter than he thought possible. “I’m sorry I fucked up Pete. I’ll call you when I get home.” Then Patrick lets his arms drop. Pete’s eyes are still closed when he feels Patrick place the slightest of kisses on Pete’s lips.
When he opens his eyes again Patrick’s gone.
Author:
beanpie3Summery: Pete is Patrick's english teacher. He starts to develop a crush on the very straight boy. What happens when people start to think they're together?
Rating:im not good at these, but possibly G, maybe PG-13 for some swears
How did we get here?
Pete really didn’t intend for this to happen. It wasn’t as though he woke up one Monday morning and thought ‘I’m bored. I know I should develop a completely pointless and inappropriate crush on one of my very straight and young students.’ And ok, it didn’t happen quite like that. He wasn’t looking at his senior English students, and all of a sudden he had a crush, it took a while to develop. He’s been teaching the same class since he got his English diploma, and they were sophomores, so he obviously felt nothing towards them beyond the normal feelings of a teacher. However, he could see by the end of that year that many of them were changing, growing up.
His crush didn’t start till a third of the way through the classes’ senior year.
He’d always been fond of one particular student. He wasn’t the most apt at the writing part of English, but he could analysis the shit out of anything you put in front of him. He always managed to decipher Pete’s metaphors, so he knew some of the crazy shit that went on in Pete’s brain. In some ways that made Pete attracted to him.
He knew what was going on in Pete’s brain, but he was still willing to talk to him, even sometimes helped Pete out with his problems. Pete thought of him as more than a friend, and that was dangerous. The boy had a girlfriend, who he’d been with since the beginning of sophomore year; he didn’t need a fuck up like Pete crushing on him. And Pete knew that if he let them be friends for any longer, he would do something he’d regret.
“Hey Pete! Did you go see that band I told you about?” Pete frowned. Now was a good time as any to nip this in the bud. “Don’t you have a class to go to?” Pete knew for a fact that he didn’t. They both had free periods, and would usually spend it working on written English. The boy looked confused. “You know I don’t. You feeling alright?” he stepped up to Pete and pressed the back of his cool hand against his cheek. Pete had to repress a slight groan. “We can skip the working part if you want. I got pasta.”
“I have. You know that.” He can’t stop himself from grinning as Patrick grins and rolls his eyes. “Fine. Fine. I have pasta. And there’s too much for me to eat by myself.” He frowns slightly at his lunch. “Anna wants me to lose weight.” Pete has to bite back the indignant ‘but you’re perfect’ that rises to his lips. He just cocks his head, and waits for Patrick to talk. “We’ve gone up on popularity ladder.” Pete can here the sneer, knows he doesn’t care about shit like that, would rather just get through with good marks, get to a good college, and do what he loves. “And she thinks that I need to ‘look the part’. If I was good enough for her before, why can’t I be now? She’s. She’s completely obsessed with becoming popular, and all that shit. It’s like anything I do now is wrong. We can’t go to the places we used to because they’re not cool enough, we have to go to the fucking mall, and stand around with everyone else, judging people. Do you know how quickly you run out of things to do in the mall? We spend hours there Pete. Fucking hours! What’s wrong with the music store? She used to love it there, but that’s for band geeks now. I can’t even go visit the Way’s because they work in a comic book store, and that’s for geeks.”
“Have you talked to her about this?” Pete does an internal victory dance. It sounds as though they could be on the road to breaking up. As soon as he realizes his thoughts he stops. He shouldn’t care if they break up. “Yeah. But she just blows me off! I’m not allowed to hang out with Joe cause he’s not ‘cool’, she was even having a go about me and you hanging out. She was all ‘it’s weird; people are going to think you’re a teachers pet’. Who gives a fuck! I would rather be a teachers pet and get into college than hang around the fucking mall for hour upon hour every stinking day.” Pete smiles tightly, about to suggest something that will mean he’ll make things harder for himself. “Maybe. Maybe you need to break up? You’re obviously heading in different directions. She sounds as though she’s making you neglect your studies because it’s cool. She wont think it’s so cool when she has to repeat the year.” Patrick smiles slightly sadly, sighing. “Maybe you’re right. I used to love being around her, now all she does is make me want to stab something. God, if we weren’t in school I would give you a hug.” Pete grins at him, looking out into the hall. “No-one out there. All in class, and will be for another half-hour.” He says it jokingly, but Patrick walks up to the desk he’s sitting on, nudging Pete’s legs apart and standing in the V. he wraps his arms around Pete and presses his face into his neck. Pete sits still for a moment before wrapping his arms around the younger and attentively pressing a kiss to his forehead. Patrick stiffens slightly before relaxing and pressing a kiss to Pete’s shoulder. They stay that way for a moment before they pull apart, smiling at each other awkwardly. Patrick presses a soft kiss to Pete’s cheek before moving away, grabbing his bag and heading out.
Pete heads home, claiming he’s sick and using two weeks of his paid sick leave.
I had it all, but not what I wanted
Pete’s plan of avoiding Patrick until he can deal things better is thwarted when a crying Patrick turns up on his doorstep four days into his sick leave. Pete quickly ushers him inside and sets him on the couch, heading into the kitchen to get them both drinks. As he goes back into the living room, he glances at the clock, and realizes that Patrick is skipping school to be here. “Patrick. Why are you missing Spanish?”
“Pete why do you know my schedule, and why are you skipping teaching all your classes?” Patrick mocks back. Pete sighs and sits down handing Patrick the soda. “I’ve taken sick leave, as you probably know, seen as I haven’t been in the past couple of days, and I’m sure you asked.” Patrick smiles a little at how well Pete knows him. “And I know your schedule because every teacher gets assigned a few students for each year, which they have to keep an eye on. I happen to have you. And when we started to become friends, I made it my business to know your schedule.” Pete senses Patrick bristle. “So. You only started talking to me because you were assigned to me?” Pete sighs again. “No. I started talking to you because you are amazing at the subject I teach.” Patrick snorts. “Well, not completely amazing, you do really, really fail at writing, but you can analyze the shit out of anything. And you are probably the first person to really get what my metaphors mean.” Patrick smiles a small smile at that. “And I carried on talking to you because you’re cool and you like the same things that I do.” Patrick settles back into the couch, all traces of tears gone. “Keep saying nice things. God knows I need them.” Pete frowns and settles next to Patrick, their arms and legs pressed together. “What’s happened?” Patrick turns, putting his foot on the seat and turning his leg so it rests in Pete’s lap, and Pete automatically rests his hand on the jean clad thigh. Pete’s frown deepens as he realizes that over the time he’s known Patrick they’ve sat like this too many times, and they are both to used to this. If it happened in school, he would be fired so quickly.
“I broke up with Anna.” Pete’s attention quickly snaps back to Patrick. “I told her everything I told you. How I just don’t care enough to do the whole popular thing.” Pete winces and he squeezes Patrick's leg. “Please tell me you didn’t say it like that!” Patrick turns his head giving Pete a glare. “Right. Course you didn’t, because you have more tact than I ever will.” Patrick mumbles a ‘damn straight’ before carrying on. “I told her on Monday after we talked, and I may have mentioned that I talked it through with you, and I may have called you Pete by accident.” Pete winces. Patrick only calls him Pete when they’re alone. Pete ignores the thrill he gets when he thinks ‘that’s mine and Patrick’s secret’. “And then she may have gone around telling everyone that I we’re obviously fucking each other.” Pete’s hand clenches where it’s attached to Patrick’s thigh. “I set her right, but everyone’s talking about it. And I was dealing with it fine, just a few comments here and there. But today I got called into the principles office. And Pete. Fuck. My mom and dad where there. And they all thought we were having sex, and they were saying shit like ‘it’s ok, he can’t hurt you. It’s not your fault.’ and you should have seen my mom and dads faces. They were disappointed. They’ve never been disappointed in me! And they wouldn’t believe me.” Patrick starts gulping and tears start to fall again. Pete really wants to hug him, but he thinks that it might make things worst. The decision is taken away from him when Patrick buries his face in Pete’s neck, sobs wracking his body. “Pete wraps his arms around him and kisses his temple. Patrick clenches his t-shirt tightly and all but climbs in Pete’s lap in order to receive more comfort. Pete lies down allows Patrick to lie on top of him. (And Pete’s ashamed to admit to himself that they’ve done this before as well). Patrick sobs slowly getting quieter, his body relaxing. And soon he’s asleep. Pete closes his eyes and tries to think of ways to make this better, instead of how he’s fucking hard, and Patrick’s a deep sleeper (and he really doesn’t want to think about how he knows that) and all the things he could do.
Finally he falls asleep as well, only to wake up (after a fucking amazing dream) to find himself still warm from Patrick’s body warmth, with a crick in his neck and an embarrassing wet patch in his pants that’s cooling at the same rate as the rest of his body. He groans and palms at his face realizing what must have happened.
“Fuck”
“That just about sums it up, yea.” Pete looks up to see a shower wet Patrick. He wants to jump and dance form the fact that Patrick’s still here. Embarrassed as hell, yea, but still here. And that’s what matters
“We should talk.” And fuck, Pete knows that serious ‘nothing will change my mind’ face.
“Fuck”
The truth never set me free
They stand around awkwardly for a few moments before Patrick starts to speak. “So I think it would maybe
be a good thing if we didn’t speak to each other for a while.” Pete turns around under the pretense of
gathering their cans together, and rearranging the couch. Taking a few deep breaths as he does, forcing himself not to cry. “Yeah. Maybe that’s a good idea.” And there’s no way that Patrick didn’t hear his voice crack. Because Patrick knows him far too well. “Shit Pete. Don’t do that.” Pete turns around cans in hand and shrugs at Patrick before moving past him to the kitchen. “Don’t do what? I’m not doing anything.”
“Yes you are.” Patrick stays in the hall between the kitchen and living room. “And you know it. You’re doing that thing when you withdraw into yourself because you think that someone you like doesn’t like you.” Pete grips the counter and breathes deeply. “I still want to talk to you and hang out, and what the fuck ever, but we can’t really do that while everyone thinks we’re fucking.” Patrick’s voice is getting steadily louder. “And I can’t do it while you want to fuck me! You could get fired Pete. Shit, you could be put in prison!” By the end Patrick is shouting, and he sounds so panicked. Panicked about what will (could) happen to Pete. “They can’t put me in prison. I don’t think that they’ll fire me either.” He turns to see Patrick looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “No evidence. No-one has ever seen us hang out. I’m pretty sure if they check, they’ll see that no-one has fucked you, and they won’t check to see if I’ve been fucked, because that wouldn’t mean anything. Not to them anyway. Then they can’t take it to court because I hope you wouldn’t testify against me.” Patrick makes an indignant noise that makes Pete smile. Small and bitter, but a smile none the less. “They’ll probably have people follow us around for a while, well until you graduate. We can hang out again a few weeks after you graduate.” Patrick heads into the kitchen at that.
“Will that be enough time for you? You know, will you stop wanting to fuck me?” Pete considers telling the truth, but he thinks if he does he will never see Patrick again. (Except, you know, in class.) “Yeah. I think so. I mean, it’s not as though I was going to act on it anyway.” Patrick smiles at him a little unsure. “I’ll take the rest of my sick leave, and when I come back, we’ll just be teacher and student. I’ll treat you like I treat everyone else.” Patrick smiles again, slightly more genuine this time. “I’ll change your name on my phone, so my parents don’t know it’s you. And call and text, like a lot.” Patrick is moving closer to Pete as he talks. He looks regretful. “This is kind of my fault isn’t it? I should have thought about what I was going to say to Anna before I said it.” Patrick is very close to Pete now. So close that Pete can tell that Patrick used his shower gel and shampoo. Pete feels as though he’s been kicked in the chest. That’s what he wants to smell everyday. Patrick and him. Mixed together in a way that makes his throat feel tight. His breath short. His dick hard. Fuck.
Then Patrick’s hugging him as though he never wants to let go. Pete closes his eyes and grips Patrick tighter than he thought possible. “I’m sorry I fucked up Pete. I’ll call you when I get home.” Then Patrick lets his arms drop. Pete’s eyes are still closed when he feels Patrick place the slightest of kisses on Pete’s lips.
When he opens his eyes again Patrick’s gone.