Steve

Hey, I'm Steve Dean, and I'm on a mission.  I want to take our fractured and isolating relationship ecosystem and turn it into something that will drive all of us toward more convivial and sustainable outcomes, where we can feel empowered to steward constellations of healthy relationships, including but certainly not limited to: fun friends in a new city, trusted mentors and coworkers, lifelong romantic partners, Friday flings, and chosen family. To do this, I'll need your help.  By supporting me on Patreon, and hopefully sharing your own thoughts and experiences directly with me, you'll enable me to piece together new experimental events, creative date ideas, relationship insights, and founder insights. You may be invited to things like group dates, dating &amp; relationship quizzes, games, conversational guides, custom-designed intimate getaways, relationship wellness retreats, matchmaking events, slow dating gatherings, and a collaborative dating network experiment that I've been testing out behind the scenes for the last 4 years. I can't do this alone, But we can do it together. Your insights, feedback, criticisms, and testimonials will inform all the founders, movement leaders, event organizers, and content creators I'm connecting together so that our efforts can build up stronger relational infrastructure for all of us, making relationships into things we can navigate with dexterity and antifragility, putting the days of loneliness, cold outreach, swiping, ghosting, frustration, and anxiety behind us. Why am I choosing to do this now? Since 2011, I have been a superconnector, community builder, and dating industry consultant &amp; speaker, helping people find everything from jobs, to roommates, to romantic partners, to new events, date ideas, and communities in whichever city they're in.  Through my dating consultancy, <a href="http://dateworking.com/">Dateworking</a>, which I founded in 2011, I've been coaching online daters in dating and relationship best practices, advising dating startups, and providing thought leadership to the dating industry. In 2014, I started the <a href="http://medium.com/dateworking">Dateworking</a> publication on Medium, tracing out the trends, apps, and habits at the cutting edge of dating, sex, and relationships. In 2017, I began hosting the <a href="http://dateworking.com/podcast" target="_blank">Dateworking Podcast</a> which explores the tools, practices, people, and movements that generate deepened human connection during this time of extreme flux in our relationships, employment, housing, and society. In 2019, I began cohosting <a href="https://www.facebook.com/nerdsandbees/" target="_blank">The Nerds and The Bees</a>, a live edu-comedy series that teaches audiences new
mental models around dating and relationships and the tools needed to navigate
modern dating with dexterity and joy.  As part of my superconnecting, I've used 250+ dating apps, gone on 300+ dates, met 10,000+ people, and brought tens of thousands of people together by creating communities, events, meetups, conferences, group dates, dinners, and coworking sessions across multiple cities. In a time of digitally distraction and isolation, I truly love creating moments of groundedness and connection where people can share their stories, feel seen and heard, and become inspired to build new friendships, startups, and movements. Everywhere I go, I seek to create meshed networks of strong human relationships. I strive to see people for all they are and all they represent -- their skills, their values, their pain, their lived experiences, and their aspirations -- and use these privileged lenses of insight to connect them with one another in ways that amplify their energies, and shorten the distance between themselves and the realities they hope to create. I want to keep doing this forever. I want to spend even more of my time creating the tools, resources, and events that people need in to become better connected. And I’m using Patreon to make this happen. Current Projects • <a href="http://hygge.nyc/">Hygge Dinners</a> — I run a monthly gathering of those who are new to NYC or simply looking to make new friends in their city. I invite about 750-1000 people each month, host the event out of a large food court, and facilitate conversation by passing around questions to spark authenticity on little sticky notes. • <a href="http://dateworking.com/podcast" target="_blank">Dateworking Podcast</a> — Seeking the philosophies and practices that help us stay connected to one another and feel deeply grounded in a world where relationships, norms, expectations, jobs, housing, and even facts are constantly in flux. How do we live well, and connect fully during our short lives on this fragile planet? How can we use practical wisdom across all the relationships of our lives? How can we reimagine our thoughts, relationships and values at a time when society itself is being reimagined every day? • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Recent Projects • <a href="http://nycsalon.fun/">NYC Salon</a> — I co-ran a biweekly series where we'd invite a fascinating speaker from somewhere in the world to come give a TED-style talk, about a topic in which they have unique niche experience, and then engage the audience with thematically-related activities. To date we've had 103 consecutive salons and grown our community to 4500+ individuals. • <a href="https://www.caveat.nyc/event/the-nerds--the-bees-dating-experts--comedians-makeover-your-love-life-9-4-2019">Nerds and the Bees</a> — I cohosted a live underground edu-comedy dating series that taught audiences new mental models around dating and relationships and the tools needed to navigate modern dating with dexterity and joy. • 10 Plates — I teamed up with a chef to host private 10-person dinners in which we'd invite the specific people we think could most benefit from knowing one another, then facilitate conversations designed to get them talking about the topics we believe would lead to the most creative synergy. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Past Projects • Jobsuitors — From 2011-2016, I cofounded a matchmaking platform for jobseekers and employers. We developed algorithms inspired by online dating apps to help identify points of compatibility as well as red flags between jobseekers and their prospective employers. At our peak, we had over 75 employers on the platform and over 4,000 jobseekers. • Liminal Studios — In 2017 I helped creatives around the world ideate, incubate, and launch their artistic, technological, and socially impactful projects. The first project we shipped was VR World NYC, the hemisphere's largest virtual reality experience center. • Polispace — Also in 2017, I launched a community of politically-active superconnectors to pool their collective skills and networks to bring together movement leaders and newly-awakened political activists to coordinate mass-scale action toward protecting and restoring the infrastructure of civic society. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Communities I've Started / Stewarded • <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/coworkwithme/">Cowork With Me</a> — I created a Facebook group for freelancers and nomads who could post where they’re working each day and find others who want to join to keep them accountable and productive • <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/letsplaymagic">Let's Play Magic</a> — I created a small group for Magic: The Gathering fans to coordinate low-key booster drafts at people's apartments and offices around the city • <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/pdnerds">Personal Development Nerds</a> — Every month, about 40-60 of my friends and I gather to share our best strategies for personal growth and introduce one another to those who can help us most in our efforts • NYC Sex-Positive &amp; Polyamorous Community (unnamed for privacy) — my friends and I have built up a community of 700+ polyamorous, non-monogamous, sex-positive, and nonbinary folks who meet up regularly for community discussions and potlucks • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Events I've Hosted • <a href="https://vimeo.com/345343114">Love Immersive</a> — In March of 2019 I designed and hosted a 10-hour, choose-your-own-adventure interactive journey through the languages of love that spanned 6 floors of a Manhattan townhouse. My co-organizer and I called the event Love Immersive and invited over 50 volunteers and practitioners to showcase their creative capabilities, resulting in an evening of self-discovery, secret missions, hidden rooms, wandering wizards, art installations, and live music for our 450+ attendees. • <a href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/conscious-slow-dating-tickets-63604000277">Slow Dating workshop series</a> — I invite 10-30 people to meet for creative, guided explorations of love languages and interpersonal connection. • Mixed Reality Social Club / Soiree Thursdays — For most of 2017, my friends and I helped grow the nascent NYC virtual/augmented/mixed reality community by hosting events, talks, workshops, and immersive experiences.  • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Guides I've Made I'm also an avid creator of resources and guides, including: • events (<a href="https://bit.ly/eventsnewyork">https://bit.ly/eventsnewyork</a>) • housing (<a href="http://bit.ly/newyorkhousing">http://bit.ly/newyorkhousing</a>) • dating (<a href="http://bit.ly/moderndatingguide">http://bit.ly/moderndatingguide</a>) • networking (<a href="http://bit.ly/superconnectors">http://bit.ly/superconnectors</a>) • authentic conversation (<a href="http://bit.ly/sparkauthenticity">http://bit.ly/sparkauthenticity</a>) • non-traditional relationships (<a href="http://bit.ly/breakingintononmonogamy">http://bit.ly/breakingintononmonogamy</a>) • city exploration (<a href="http://bit.ly/bestofnyc">http://bit.ly/bestofnyc</a>) • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • My Publications About Dating • <a href="https://bit.ly/friendshipfirst">The Friendship-First Approach to Dating</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/datingconsultant">What I Encounter As An Online Dating Consultant</a> • <a href="http://goo.gl/iQLTx4">What are guys doing wrong when it comes to flirting?</a> • <a href="http://goo.gl/BiXY5u">What are some good online dating messages which are likely to get a response?</a> • <a href="http://goo.gl/Wl5xAZ">What are the best Tinder hacks? </a> • <a href="http://goo.gl/hKcsk5">Five Surprising and Interesting Uses for Tinder</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/learntodecline">How To Say “No” Without Lies, Flaking, or Fadeaways</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/optimizetinder">Add This Line to Your Tinder Profile Right Now</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/afterdatingapocalypse">After the Dating Apocalypse</a> • <a href="https://medium.com/dating-meets-data/nsa-fwb-bff-we-need-a-new-lexicon-for-modern-dating-7a63dcc3b903">NSA? FWB? BFF? We Need a New Lexicon for Modern Dating</a> • <a href="https://medium.com/dating-meets-data/non-monogamy-polyamory-open-relationships-explained-with-cat-gifs-f8b73a7a50ad">The Purrfect Guide to Practicing Ethical Non-Meownogamy</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/100firstdates">100 Creative Date Ideas for Poor Cat People</a> About the Dating Industry and Modern Trends • <a href="https://medium.com/dateworking/is-there-room-in-the-market-for-a-new-dating-app-57dee08ff0fc">Is there room to make a new dating app?</a> • <a href="https://medium.com/@StevenMDean/where-does-your-attention-live-52bb1ed75e7d">Where Does Your Attention Live?</a> • <a href="https://medium.com/dateworking/has-technology-killed-human-connection-1d8eac541296">Technology Is Killing Human Connection</a> • <a href="https://medium.com/dateworking/the-two-greatest-failures-of-modern-dating-apps-df177ab2f332">The Two Greatest Failures of Modern Dating Apps</a> About Relationships • <a href="http://bit.ly/relationshiptalk">How do I have the “Are We Exclusive” talk?</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/getbetteratdating">15 Articles to Make You 15x Better at Relationships</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/getoverbreakups">How to Get Over a Breakup</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/excelrelationships">Why Excel Sheet Relationships Work Better </a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/leanrelationship">Applying a Lean Startup Model to Relationships</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/breakingintononmonogamy%20">Breaking into Nonmonogamy</a> • <a href="https://medium.com/@StevenMDean/stop-trying-to-catch-cheaters-64f8f0f14342">Stop Trying to “Catch” Cheaters</a> About Careers &amp; Networking • <a href="http://bit.ly/championyourself%20">Become Your Own Personal Champion</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/getoverimpostersyndrome">5 Easy Ways to Get Over Imposter Syndrome to Get the Job You Want</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/eyegame">Eyeball Game: Gamifying Extroversion</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/personalconnections">The Power of a Personal Connection</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/superconnectors">5 Secret Tools for the Superconnector</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/landjobatstartup">How to Land a Job at a Hot Startup</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/eventsnewyork">Handy Guide to NYC Startup &amp; Tech Events</a> About Housing, Friendship, Life, &amp; NYC • <a href="http://bit.ly/newyorkhousing">A New Yorker’s Guide to Finding Apartments and Roommates</a> <a href="http://bit.ly/newyorkhousing">• </a><a href="http://bit.ly/sparkauthenticity">Questions to Spark Authenticity</a> • <a href="https://bit.ly/brokenrule">Why the Golden Rule Is Terrible for Everyone</a> • <a href="http://bit.ly/bestofnyc">Worthwhile Places to Visit in NYC</a> • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • My Podcast &amp; TV Appearances • <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/dating-apps-bots-and-fake-profiles-online-cbsn-documentary/" target="_blank">CBSN - That dating app profile you're swiping on may not actually be human</a> • <a href="http://anchor.fm/modernconnection">Modern Connection with Steve Dean</a> • <a href="http://www.dirtysexymonogamy.com/episodes/2016/10/19/is-dating-really-just-networking">Dirty Sexy Monogamy with Gigi Engle and Mike Fishbein</a> • <a href="https://www.patreon.com/posts/steve-on-podcast-6493728">Manwhore with Billy Procida - Dating Mistakes Edition</a> • <a href="https://www.laserfiche.com/podcasts/online-dating-can-teach-us-boosting-efficiency-work/">Laserfiche by the Economist - What Dating Can Teach Us About Boosting Efficiency at Work Podcast by Peter Schneider</a> • <a href="https://tindertalespod.wordpress.com/2016/07/28/steve-dean-17-straight-hoursepisode-19/">Tinder Tales with David Piccolomini</a> <a href="https://tindertalespod.wordpress.com/2016/07/28/steve-dean-17-straight-hoursepisode-19/">• </a><a href="https://www.portfoliocareerpodcast.com/steve-dean">Portfolio Career Podcast with David Nebinski</a> • <a href="https://horizontalwithlila.com/82-200-dating-profiles/">Horizontal with Lila, with Lila Donnolo, Episode 82: 200 Dating Profiles</a> • <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/its-time-to-rethink-tech-recruiting-technical-ly-podcast/id810378410?i=1000334833703">It's Time to Rethink Tech Recruiting with Technical.ly</a> • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • My Press Mentions <a href="https://expmag.com/2019/12/need-help-with-your-dating-profile-these-doctors-are-in/" target="_blank">Need help with your dating profile? These ‘doctors’ are in.</a> - Jenni Gritters <a href="http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-entrepreneurs-of-love-2015-02-11" target="_blank"></a><a href="https://soundcloud.com/technical-ly/its-time-to-rethink-tech-recruiting">It's Time to Rethink Tech Recruiting</a> - Technical.ly <a href="http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-entrepreneurs-of-love-2015-02-11" target="_blank">The Entrepreneurs of Love</a> - Marketwatch <a href="http://mic.com/articles/112308/what-your-psychologist-wants-you-to-know-about-your-dating-apps">What Your Psychologist Wants You to Know About Your Dating Apps</a> - Mic.com <a href="http://www.fastcompany.com/3049510/tech-forecast/true-love-is-waiting-for-you-on-uber-yelp-quizup-and-all-your-other-apps">True Love Is Waiting for You on Uber Yelp Quizup and All Your Other Apps</a> - Fast Company <a href="http://mic.com/articles/107756/the-biggest-misconception-about-polyamorous-relationships-finally-answered#.pc0ZWbfLj" target="_blank">The Biggest Misconception About Polyamorous Relationships Finally Answered</a> - Mic.com <a href="https://www.bustle.com/articles/188094-7-polyamorous-people-on-overcoming-jealousy" target="_blank">7 Polyamorous People on Overcoming Jealousy</a> - Bustle <a target="_blank">LSD Microdosing</a> - Esquire <a href="http://mic.com/articles/114110/one-epic-chart-proves-there-s-no-right-way-to-be-in-a-relationship#.QIg5WjqQR" target="_blank">One Epic Chart Proves There's No Right Way to Be in a Relationship</a> - Mic.com

Free

"JUST FRIENDS" STATUS. You'll become part of my private Patreon-only list that gets to view and vote on my drafts and stories before they're posted.

COFFEE DATE STATUS. Everything above, plus -- I've been doing some incredible podcast interviews and coffee chats with fascinating people. If you support me at this level, I'll give you access to those podcast episodes and any video content that comes out of my chats and speaking gigs.

NETFLIX &amp; CHILL STATUS. Everything above, plus I'll answer any 1 of your dating / relationship questions each month in the form of a personal email.

"FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" STATUS. Everything above, plus more when we're actually exclusive. Just kidding. I'll make you a mix tape of my favorite readings, podcasts, and videos from the month and send it your way.

"WE'RE EXCLUSIVE" STATUS. You'll gain exclusive access to my tutorial webinars where I share strategies for dating, finding apartments/roommates, job hunting, and establishing friendships and communities in new cities.

"MARRIAGE MATERIAL" STATUS. Everything above, plus you'll be invited to join the rollout of my private superconnectors group on Slack. We use the group in order to scale up our connective capabilities because each of us gets immediately notified if we're the best person to help. By leveraging the networks of superconnectors, we can do seriously epic things, like getting personalized intros to virtually any founder or CEO within minutes.

SUGARMOMMA STATUS. Everything above, plus we can work together over biweekly mastermind talks where I can brief you on the tech I'm building, the content I'm producing, and the communities I'm growing. We can also discuss opportunities for much larger collaboration.

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