Hello There Little Baby Deer

patchwork_deer — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:52:16 GMT

This is my new bag. Bags are a worryingly important part of who I am.

patchwork_deer — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 20:32:11 GMT

The end of the Kevin/Georgette Love Fest has come.

It was all like:

"Oh my gosh just SAY if you don't want to talk to me nuumore. I won't claw your eyes out or nothin', jesus on a pancake :O"

"Im sorry its just i cant be dealing wiv this sort of stuff n its been tearin mr apart cuz i dnt kno how 2 tell u. N i dint wana hurt u! N i dint wana do it ova txt cuz its rude but im so busy. Im really sorry! :( : ("

"That's fine, honey"

"Im sorry i cnt c u nymore its cuz i'll just ill just end up useing u and tis the last thing i want n i jus dnt wana hurt u mre than i alredy hav cuz ur nice person :("

"It is okay, for real, nothing really hurts after what I've bee thru anyways. We had fun times, farewell my ex lover--! :)"

I'm quite scared that I'm just going to start bouncing from short, meaningless relationship to short meaningless relationship, and continue to eat loads of cake and chocolate, and buy loads of bags, and flirt with loads of guys and girls I don't like, just to try and feel better about myself.

PRIORITIES IN LIFE
1 - Don't sleep with Sam
2 - Continue to stay on top of college work
3 - Don't sleep with Sam

Gave blood today, feel all dizzy.

FOR SOME STRANGE REASON

patchwork_deer — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 20:30:45 GMT

Sam does not like it when you try to bum him with hello kitty/hairbrush/your fingers

like wtf?

patchwork_deer — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 17:52:17 GMT

oh my gosh
Kevvypants texted me, all sad still.
I was just 'thanks for texting, I'm always here if you need to talk'

Sam is coming around in 40 mins. When I saw him a few minutes ago I didn't feel any mega intense emotions like before. I think it's because Kevin is talking again. I want to make it work with him.

patchwork_deer — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 07:14:15 GMT

It's snowing
And it's settling
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SPRING, DAMMIT
I want baby lambs ;.;
I guess I shouldn't complain, but whatever

patchwork_deer — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 12:37:55 GMT

"Keep seeking approval,
and you will be chained."

- The Tao Te Ching

patchwork_deer — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 10:07:33 GMT

I have warty toad skin
Probz because of the worry
It is gross
I am so tired
I need to get some work done but motivation is becoming an issue again
Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhh

patchwork_deer — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 19:34:37 GMT

Oh em gee
Today
Me, Liz, Kasi and Andrea fought crime
And Uncle Warren was proud

I am tired
Spoke to Sam, miss him as friend, might visit him at work one day soon
Luke was following me around work all day today
Kevin hasn't been able to text me back because he left his phone round Nathan's on Thursday
So I've e-mailed him instead

Bored and lonely
Kasi has an elf fetish
That's why she got together with Smitty
All lunch all she would talk about was
How much she fancies Link from Zelda
And wants to get Smitty a Link costume
Bless them

patchwork_deer — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 22:14:12 GMT

oh for goodness sake girl
stop moping
do something productive
get on with life
I'm sick of your attitude whenever the slightest thing goes wrong
if it doesn't work out he's not worth it
just shut up
okay?

omg I am so going to bed
I just... ugh

patchwork_deer — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 21:28:16 GMT

Oh my gosh
Gabby and Sophie wrote these things abouts me last Friday
Was going to scan them by cba

Gabby:
Genuine, wild, sassy!
Makes me Larffff even when I'm saaaddd D:
and she lets me read her magazines when she's rather read them!
AAnnnnddd she's cool and doesn't care what other people think and thinks highly of others.

Sophie:
Georgette "Lovely" Gibbons
-makes me laugh with her stories
-caring
-clever
-has nice hair
-gets through bad stuff
-good listener
-interesting to talk to
-fun

patchwork_deer — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 21:07:19 GMT

Okay
I went out with Hayley this morning
And Tom this afternoon
But now I'm alone, with little to occupy me
And so, I think

And I worry, and I'm confused
I'm not sure what to do
I just need to let everything flow through it's course
It's not my fault that he's upset
I haven't done anything wrong
He trusted me enough to talk to me about it
And he's honest
Which is all positive

I don't like it when other people are in dark places
I work so hard to get into a happy place
Anyone can be happy if only they had the commitment, but some people see an appeal to wallowing in their misery and I don't understand it

I feel like I fuck everything up, but he isn't angry with me, none of this is my fault, and there isn't much I can do to remedy it. He has got to make the decision to be happy and work out a plan and stick to it. I can support him and assist him but he has got to work hard to sort this out. I guess I'm just sad that he's sad.

"Tis not u.. Jus im very messed up atm! Dnt say sorry! U hav no reason 2 b sayn it! Jus wonderin teh streets of pboro. Speak 2 u 2moz x"

It's not my fault. But I just want to fix him ;.;

I see food and I'm hungry, but have no desire to eat
I'm ridiculously tired

I don't think my el jay reflects how positive I am as a person

Other than this, today has been a fabulous day

I just hope that he's okay times a million

I'll just finish my chai latte, have a face massage then use my new Love Lettuce face mask. Clean skin makes everything feel better.

xxx

patchwork_deer — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:00:19 GMT

Oh my gosh
let me tell you guys what I bought today

THE BAG THAT DEFINES MY LIFE
It's a pale gold colour, satiny straps, with the main body made out of a kind of iridescent honeycomb material. Mega shiny. Like, seriously makes your eyes hurt shiny. Huuuuuge too.
The Tao Te Ching
HH The Dalai Lama's How To Practise
New pink/white star shoes
New socks for the shoes
Boyfriend jeans
A can of jasmine green tea (soooo nice)
Pocky! Oh em gee, how manga chic am I?
A bright pink metallic purse

With my Shining Stars Voucher from work thingy
Two tubs of Ben & Jerry's
Chai teabags
White chocolate
A mother's day hippo for my mum

From Lush~~
Youki-Hi"Relaxing, clarifying, sensual, jasmine bath inspired by the world`s most beautiful woman. It doesn`t even matter if you`re a man, a child or a golden labrador, bathing in a Youki-Hi bath will still make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Youki-Hi was a Chinese princess, one of the three loveliest women of all time. She bathed in jasmine to keep her skin perfect and to enchant everyone who walked close to her; she wore robes of scarlet and gold. Our Youki-Hi was created by Yuka from our Japanese production team and it`s been a best seller ever since."
Smells sooooo good and is GLITTERY

Seanik"Softening sea salt shampoo scented with jasmine, mimosa and orange blossom. Many of our planet`s most potent nutrients come from the deep blue sea. Lush has them brought ashore to create an ocean blue shampoo bar with protein-rich, softening Irish moss seaweed, Japanese nori seaweed and sea salt to leave your hair soft and nourished. We could have left it at that, but that`s just not our way; we added lemon oil for extra shine, and the exotic far eastern fragrance of mimosa and jasmine, to bathe you in the heady scent of tropical flora."
My fave shampoo ever, makes my hair so soft and yummy smelling

Sweet Japanese Girl"Facial massage & exfoliation bar to decongest the skin. What we have here is a Japanese style facial exfoliating and massage bar. Melt it in your hands, massage your face with moisturising oils to take away make-up and general grubbiness and softly rub the ground beans and almonds over your skin to remove skin cells you don`t need any more. The stimulating, detoxifying essential oils will revive a sluggish surface to give you clearer, healthier skin. Use warm water on cotton wool to remove all traces of the massage oils and you`ll have a softer, brighter face. This goes really well with Tea Tree Water, especially if you`re prone to blackheads and spots."
Best cleaner in the world for my skin. Gets rid of all the nasty stuff, and leaves you feeling soft, smooth and very clean. Probably my fave Lush product, I can't get enough of it : )

Love Lettuce"An effective, exfoliating face mask which gives normal to oily skin a softened, smoothed and radianr glow. Polishing almond shell is balanced by the skin softening qualities of almond oil and seaweed gel. With soothing Lavender essential oil and the magical cleansing, tightening action of Fuller`s Earth. Apply to clean skin, avoiding the eye area. Leave for five to ten minutes, then rinse with warm water massaging gently. Keep chilled. "
Haven't tried it yet, I normally use Cupcake

Honey Trap"For sweet, vanilla-honey kisses. If you mixed up honey and silk and turned it into a sound you`d probably get the voice of Eartha Kitt singing Old Fashioned Millionaire. Eartha is the embodiment of sweet, soft, sexy and wicked. We like to think that our Honey Trap has the same qualities. Smooth on some wicked white chocolate, sweet honey, softening butters and delicious vanilla for temptingly tasty lips. "
So softening.. so tasty!

Nutts "Soft, melty, organic coconut and cocoa butters for devotees to the cause of massage. Over the last few months the massage bar development team has been testing new butter blends. They selflessly allowed a masseur to come in once a week and devoted their own bodies to research! Life can be hard. The resulting new bar, Nutts, is the best blend we could come up with, but apparently they intend to continue the weekly “research” forever. Nutts has organic coconut butter and sesame seed tahini paste to make it a little bit meltier, smoother and emollient. We make it with the finest natural cocoa butter in existence and if the scent reminds you a bit of a best selling brand of organic chocolate, it’s because we get ours from the same place as they do. It smoothes straight into your skin to make it feel firm but soft, happy and flexible and it smells like the poshest coconut chocolates you could imagine. Research one today. "
First massage bar I ever bought, so melty and smells soooooo gooddddddddddd

Each Peach (And Two's a Pair) "The one to brighten, lighten and throw off the gloom with a concentrated hit of citrus fruit. We make the Each Peach Bar with fruity avocado and mango kernel butters, mixed with our cocoa butter and shea butter base, for an extra nutritious, softening melty treat. Essential oils of Persian lime, red grapefruit, sweet orange and mandarin help to encourage a sunny disposition. Use it to help boost your partner`s confidence. (Very reviving: best for mornings.)"
Mainly for Kevin. He suits citrus notes and he could do with a massage, bless him.

Hahah, oh yeah and cherry flavoured lube. I've bought too much lube this week.
Aaaaand I think that's it <3

patchwork_deer — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 21:29:56 GMT

Oh fuck.
Luckily life has a habit of sorting stuff out
& making everything okay eventually

just wait and see, tomorrow morning
next week
next month

it'll all be fine

patchwork_deer — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:38:32 GMT

I am having the worst hair day of my life
and I have to leave for work in a few minutes
it's just a ball of frizz and grease
no volume or bounce
and it's just so horrible ;.;

patchwork_deer — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 19:08:19 GMT

Ohhhhhhh emmmmm geeeeeeeeeee

my head hurts. I'm trying to make an appointment to change my pill but the stupid website isn't working. Why must everything be so technical these days?
Was supposed to seeee Mr Wonderful today but he was up allllllll night (his best mate/homoerotic lover's b day) and had to go to work and so he was all 'I'm so sorry but I can't stand up' and I'm all 'okay you restttttt : )'
OH MY GOD WHY IS SAM COMING OVER ON WEDNESDAY I really don't want him here.
I missssss Sarahhhhhhhh
and everyone
ow my head
lube on toast

xxxxx

patchwork_deer — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 15:46:36 GMT

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

he is so *pretty*

and everything just works, y'know?

and so yeah, he just left

so, so cute!

and anyway

nearly got gang raped by a bunch of chavs in the carpark yesterday. I was just like bringing their tv out for them, and they was all 'oi, you flirting wiv her?' 'go on, give her a kiss', 'hah, you can get in the car too if yer like'
just like, leave me alone

OH YEAH AND I WAS LOOKING AT STAR WARS TOYS WITH THIS LITTLE BOY YEAH then this other little boy came up to him and asked if I was his mum. Thanks, kiddo

& like, Kevin used to be a drug dealer
but like isn't no more so it's all good

oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

apparently I called him a 'bus-hole' and he was just like 'wtf? a bus-hole?' and I'm like what did I say that?
but I probz did, because that's just the kind of girl I am

ohhhhhh
ahhhhhh

oh yeah baby

oh em gee

*le sigh*

JUST THINKING?
could my life me better now?
maybe if my friends were happier, yes

That is all.
It's just perfect except for that.

I'm glad he likes me and treats me properly and it's all good : )

patchwork_deer — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 13:26:26 GMT

TIME FOR ANOTHER DULL UPDATE OF MY LIFE

AND YES, IT'S ABOUT A BOY

he just texted me saying that he loved me
and yesterday Andrea was all like 'is it love?'
and it's just like

love is kinda... A SERIOUS THING

WOULD EVERYONE STOP JUGGLING WITH IT
JUST PUT IT DOWN
AND PICK IT BACK UP WHEN YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A YEAR OR TWO OR SOMETHING

I just said that I lurrrved him, that's good enough, right?

oh fuck

I just don't like that word being used casually, you know?

patchwork_deer — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 13:07:35 GMT

I just rememberedddddddd
that Kevin wants me to be his date to his brother's wedding
in early April
oh em gee I need to get time off
and what do you wear to a wedding?
do I need to get a present for them?
what do you do at weddings? I won't know anyone ;.;

oh em geeeeeeeee

I hate weddings anyway. And my sister and aunt are getting married this year too AND HAYLEY'S PARENTS and just everyone in the world ever. I'm bride's maid for two as well.

Hello Monsoon, letseeee whatchu got for me.

NOTHING, MONSOON, YOU HAVE NOTHING FOR ME

WHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD SELLS CLOTHES?

calm down calm down

Okay, Reba will have the perfect dress and the perfect accessories for me. I'll get a bag from Accessorize, shoes from... poo. I hate being vegetarian NICE SHOES PLEASE hold the cow.

Breathe... breathe...
I can't even remember the date of the wedding, I think it's either the 5th or the 12th. Poooooooooo.
STOP PANICING
STOP GETTING MARRIED
EVERYONE LIKE OH MY GOD

patchwork_deer — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 10:11:30 GMT

It's like
Sam stop ringing me & inviting yourself round
Because we both know that you're never going to actually come round
And it's just like
Quit it

Pfffffffffffffft

Hahah yesterday I was sitting with an Emo Chef and I fixed his gloves for him <3
Ohhhhhh em gee what am I doing with my life?
I should start a business of fixing gloves for Emo Chefs

I can't wait to seeeeee everyone at worrrrkkkkkkkk
Oh yes yes

And I get paid in less than a weeeeeeeeekkkkkk

And on Monday it's a Georgette/Kevin Love Fest at his place

HERE ARE SOME FACTS ABOUT HIM SO YOU CAN ALL FEEL LIKE YOU KNOW HIM

He is tall and very, very skinny
He has really cute blonde hair that kind of looks as if it's petals around his face which would be the middle part of the flower
Actually, yes. Imagine a tall flower with a thin stem with little blonde petals
And glasses
From South Africa
That works in Fryz the chippy
He studies at Regional, ICT Support Systems I believe
He is 18 years young
He is slightly eccentricly charming yes
And on thursday he tried to hump my dog's face
And now my dog is in love with him
He has very elegant, feminine hands
He moved to England when he was 10
He is niiiiiiiiiiice <3

WHAT ELSE HAS BEEN HAPPENING?

I don't remember

Bumlove
xxx

patchwork_deer — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 21:59:50 GMT

GEORGETTE/KEVIN LOVE FEST TOMOZ AT BUS STOP

then that boy Sam wants feeding
bleh
Kevin > Sam

patchwork_deer — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 13:35:02 GMT

There is a new girl on GM, her name is Fatima. She is lovely : )
I am slightly less scared of Luke now. But I still want him to get back with his gf because I don't really want him... He still hasn't given me my valentines day pressie! : O
Sam is coming over for dinner. I don't know why, there is no reason for him to come round anymore. Unless he actually truly likes my company. Which, I mean, I know he does. OHHH he's just rang me and changed his mind. Anyway, the point is, he's not getting in my frilly knickers.
I think I'll ring Sarah later and just be like 'yoyoyo carpark?'
I just think about stuff but when I come to type it down I'm just 'ahh cee bee ay'
bleh....

patchwork_deer — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 08:29:05 GMT

Met up with Sarah, Tom plus other guy with corset fetish yesterday~

We all poured our hearts out to each other.

Found out that Sam has done his fair share of kiddy fiddling. Ugh. I cannot be bothered with this. I don't know what course of action to take so I'll just blank him. I can't help him until he decides that he needs help.

Apparently~ Sarah and Tom are bringing Kevin to see me when he finishes his shift at the chippy. I've heard good things about him, I wish I had just given him my number when requested : (

Sam is such a filthy, lying ho. He's going to end up all depressed and alone if he doesn't sort himself out. I'm trying to motivate myself to care, but I just want to punch him. He is just disgusting. He is a filthy, spineless man whore. And he was also trying to pursue Sarah at the same time as me. She's 15, he's 20. This is really upsetting for me as I was 15 and he was 20. Sarah is a good girl though, I can learn a lot from her.

Okay, I need to get ready for work/ENSLAVING KEVIN : )

HIS HEART WILL BE MINNNNNNE

xxx

patchwork_deer — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 12:22:06 GMT

GEORGETTE DO SOME FUCKING WORK

But Georgette is inspired to tell a story.
Either through written word OR the combination of written word and artwork.

How unusual.

I don't want to go back to college, perhaps the next project will agree with me more.

Perhaps this project will agree with me once I get SOME FUCKING WORK DONE AHHHHHHHH

patchwork_deer — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 11:57:19 GMT

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"Sam, you iridescent ladybird, I need to set off on my journey on the unicycle of everlasting compassion & wisdom. Only I can release myself from my suffering. Simplicity is the key. Why am I hereee? Why has it all come to thisss? By Buddha, I need to find out what I'm doing : ) hello, pleasant day? xxx"

I could be a spiritual leader.

I want to blow myself up.

patchwork_deer — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:17:48 GMT

I can't do this. My mind won't switch off and I keep on remembering and realizing things. I need to leave for work soon. I will probably have to go on an empty stomach because the boy has insisted on cooking, yet he could not be bothered to come home on time. I'll probably binge on reduced cakes after work. Or go hungry and take pleasure in being hungry. I don't want to go to work, I'll have to pretend I'm fine and Luke and Sam will be there and I don't want to see them. Things are worse than I thought they were. I want to talk to someone. I want to get away from my house. I don't want to have to go back to college. I need to sort myself out but how?