Anger; Now featuring other emotions.

Final Fantasy XII AMV - Waving Flag

2011-05-06T00:31:37Z

Video: Final Fantasy XII
Audio: Waving Flag - K'naan
Spoilers?: Yes
Summary: My third Ivalice video and a tribute to XII, this video focuses on the character's struggles through Ivalice's wars and politics, with an emphasis on Ashe and secondary focus on Vaan, Basch, Gabranth and Larsa.

Watch the Video!

Planescape:Torment

2011-02-17T18:14:50Z

I finished Planescape.

It's hard to know what to say about a game like this, honestly. I'm still thinking about a lot of stuff - or deciding what to think, maybe.

I'll start with my party! Fall-From-Grace and Morte are my easily my favourites, followed by Dakkon. The rest I could take or leave, except for Annah, who I just plain dislike. It's not so often that I dislike a character who wasn't meant to be disliked or steeped in moral dubiousness, but Annah... I just cannot find one likeable thing about her. Overemotional, full of snap judgements, super clingy, rather shallow compared to the rest of the cast.

When I first heard I'd be meeting a healing succubus in a brothel and she'd join my team my eyes were spinning in their sockets but Grace is just completely awesome. Classy, firm, always gives the impression that there's plenty she knows and is keeping to herself, utterly fearless when politely and cerebraly telling off people who have a problem with her or your party... I kind of anticipated the succubus would be the clingy one falling all over herself for you, and I'm glad I was surprised.

I shouldn't even have to explain why I like Morte. He's hilarious. And he's also an incredibly steadfast friend. The flashback you get pulling him off the tower of skulls upset me more than any of the other horrible things I saw my past self doing, and I was pretty easily upset by all of those awful things. Poor Morte. He's like some kind of secret woobie skull who is always ready with a hilariously inappropriate joke or a pass at Grace. It is wonderful.

I played a Neutral Good TNO, and in general I did go through the game feeling genuinely guilty for the stupid shit my asshole past selves kept doing to people. It's hard for me to imagine doing an evil playthrough of this game - I'm attached to TNO, he's easy to get attached to, and everywhere you go someone has already done an awful lot of evil while wearing your skin. I expected, since hearing Deoinarra's prediction at the beginning of the game, that I would meet a good/evil/neutral incarnation at the end, but I expected them to be more like abstract concepts of the alignment system rather than the actual incarnations who had preceded and caused so much trouble for me. That was a nice touch - and one that would have been nicer had I been able to punch the "Practical" incarnation in the face.

Her prediction goes two ways, though - It can refer also to Ravel, Trias, and the Transcendent One. And if I have a sole complaint about this game's story/story decisions, it is that Tony Jay was chosen as a voice actor for the Transcendent One. It talks and all I hear is Megabyte, and that is really too "mwa ha ha" for a game like this. I think it should have had a quiet, insubstantial, hissing kind of voice. Not high pitched or overly hissing like Ignus, but something with a lot of reverb.

The ending doesn't answer all of your questions for you, but it answers enough. That's a precarious line to walk, normally, but they did it well. There are things I wonder about - What did the First do that was so terrible, what lie did Morte tell to lead TNO to his death? - but I think I am happier not knowing so specifically. It's one of those cases where telling me straight out would probably be more mundane, invite me to judge whether or not each instance was really so bad, and distract from the point - the point is not what the First did so much as how he ran from it and how it's affected everything (and even his sentient mortality) to this point, so I can understand that and let it go.

I played through the ending several times - and how I love that you can talk rather than fight your way through it, that makes the most sense. I'm glad that you can settle things with Deionarra, too, because that was weighing on my conscience. Anyway, I merged him with me after asking what can change the nature of a man.

You know, I can't help but appreciate this game in contrast to other games - not even just other games of its ilk, but other games that are trying to tell a story. "What can change the nature of a man?" is a repeated question and a defining theme, but that's all they give you, and they give it to you sparsely enough. It's not repeated every single cutscene. Nothing spells out for you that this is ultimately a game about roleplaying and about defining and discovering your character. It's... I wouldn't call it subtle, it's easy to grasp, but it doesn't beat you over the head. This game respects your intelligence.

Compare to other games like recent entries in the FF series and their Important Keyword Repetition, or everything I've seen for Dragon Age II, which is... I know the game is about defining and creating Hawke without having ever played it because that's what they told me it was about, on the back of the box and as part of the framing narrative of the whole story. It comes with a whole bunch of preconceptions, too, about what are necessary points of interest when the point of the game is defining a character - I cannot be left to my own devices, and the character has to be literally the most important person ever in the whole DA universe? See, that's worthy of a Megabyte endboss.

I don't know. This game is a lot more than the sum of its parts. The ending was bittersweet, finishing it was bittersweet, and certainly packed an emotional punch. I'm sad that Stanley ultimately has to pay for the crimes of his past incarnations, but that's because I'm attached to Stanley, not because I'd have the game end any other way.

Well, hopefully he'll find Grace and Morte again, someday.

Playstats:
Stanley's class: Mage
Hardest battle:</b> Ravel
Most useful party member: Dak'kon
Progression of save file names:
stanley's adventurous life
what is this i don't even
don't fuck this up for me morte
pew pew lasers
stanley's hackalicious life
stanley's adventurous death

LJ detox

2011-02-07T18:38:31Z

I'm moving over to oddacious for a while.

I need a bit of an internet vacation - a new handle lets me follow communities and people that aren't going to bother me, and I can come back to this account later on and have all my feeds and stuff intact.

Can't say where or how much I'll be posting there, or if I'll pop back over here when I have vidya game updates to do, but do feel free to friend me there. Also, please don't take offense if I don't friend you back - an awful lot of you are clever, analytical, and in the loop, which is more or less where I don't want to be right now. If you do want me to read something in your journal for some reason, you can leave me a link.

Unpopular women, PS:T and Morrigan

2011-02-05T19:13:05Z

Ladies and stuff

Shoutout for The Unpopular Woman Love Post.

I know some people in fandom would ask "why is this here, why do we need to love every single woman character?" To which I would answer, "We don't, but I think the point is less liking everyone on this list and more responding to backlash and trying collectively to counteract the fact that ladies that fans don't like get called sluts way too often." Well, that's what I'm going with, anyway - I certainly don't like everybody on the list and I think some of them are pretty badly written (looking at you, Ariadne, though I blame no one but the Nolan for this).

Anyway! It makes me want to make a respectful disagreement thread, because I need practice and I think everyone else does too. It would be like:

"I have seen opinion X circulating in fandom. I sympathize with this perspective but respectfully disagree for reasons Y and Z and wish to affirm that my disagreement does not diminish my opinion of holders of opinion X as people!"

I think it would help ansemaru be less uptight anyway (I MEAN THIS IN A KIND WAY RAMEN).

WRPGs and whatnot

Also, this is belated but I got further in PS:T! I am in the Lower Wards now. I felt this rush of accomplishment, going back, finishing all my sidequests, finally, FINALLY getting through to the next thing... and then I just had to stop because everything is so big and open and it intimidates me and I'm worried I'm going to miss things and mess everything up. I still loathe the fighting in that game but a healer should make things better.

Also started up some new DA saves. I'm romancing Morrigan and I'm bloody terrible at making cruel decisions. She keeps making fun of me. Also, playing as a male warden is hella boring for me for some reason. Morrigan's romance reveals a lot about her (contradictions always add complexity!) but I think I'd rather just be her friend, tbh.

Painting stuff

2011-02-01T16:11:34Z

So, I did this speedpaint video for one of my classes. I linked it over at belisdraw but some people here might be interested? It's an hour drawing of Florence Welch sped up to 3.5 mins.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMLZUuC5n0A

In other news, I should track down every single person who ever encouraged me to write fanfic and slap them. What were you thinking? And now a few of them have enough favourites/watchers/etc that I'd feel guilty about pulling it from the web despite my deep-rooted urge to distance myself from it!

Fact: I once penned a fic with an ominous latin title that referred to Sephiroth's hair as a "magnificent silver mane." Note that I was 14 at the time. And I've since found a sparklevid with almost the same gloriously terrible premise.

I should probably just not make things that aren't AMVs because I will regret them. I am poking at this fanmix thing right now and I know it's in a dubious state because I keep looking over what I have and saying "MAYBE I SHOULD ADD MORE SMASHING PUMPKINS? IS 40% SMASHING PUMPKINS TOO MUCH?" It doesn't bode well, though it's totally not my fault that Smashing Pumpkins reminds me of Sephiroth (speaking of things that don't bode well, loooool).

SPEAKING OF MY PATHETIC AND OVERLONG OBSESSIONS, I got in a fandomsecrets debate about Sephiroth and this hater anon told me I'm "one of the smarter fans who isn't trying to excuse or glorify his behaviour but simply like it for what it is."

I am still so incredibly flattered about it.

This is sad. I am sad. Let's just pretend I stopped writing this entry after the speedpaint link.

paperclipchains @ 2011-01-28T23:52:00

2011-01-29T04:52:14Z

I WATCHED MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC AND I LIKE IT AND I BLAME YOU zidane.

NOW I'M STUCK ON PONIBOORU.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY LIFE.

Bang Bang - Bayonetta/Dante AMV

2011-01-26T18:30:36Z

Video: Bayonetta/Devil May Cry 4
Audio: Bang Bang - K'naan
Summary: OMFG BAYO/DANTE VIDEO THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO MAKE WATCH IT WATCH IT PLEASE WATCH IT.

Watch the Video!

Please leave your comments on the youtube page!

ACC

2011-01-25T14:53:25Z

"SANDWICHES!" has been the refrain around my house for the past week. It turns out that this is very fun to interject whenever you see someone eating lunch.

Anyway, showed Kid Sister Advent Children Complete. Some comments:

"Geostigma? Is that sort of supposed to be like radiation poisoning in Hiroshima?" (I, of course, was dumbfounded that I never noticed this before, hurrr.)

"Why is Cloud so moody? He was like... 'Hey guys, let's go!' What happened?"

"Does the water taste like Aeris?"

"Aeris is always watching! Like ceiling cat."

"Sephiroth sounds wrong. His voice should be higher. And crazier."

"This movie is better when you don't think about it."

Meanwhile, my other sister, the normal one - she's been privvy to me and kid sister playing FFVII and other games for a long time, usually with running commentary about block people. "I used to think this game was so cool when you played it, it looks terrible!"

The other day she told me about a girl who sits in front of her in her class. My sister interjected at an opportune time with a DN joke, one thing led to another, and the girl went into a sprawling fangirl rant about Cloud/Sephiroth and how they are her bishies (and, apparently, her vampire boyfriend, but that's for another story). While relating this to me, my sister the non-gamer makes a face and goes "She didn't even play that game, she just watched the damn movie! I mean, come on."

I was so proud.

Also, unrelatedly: Read a new study that said kids on the internet are more likely to be depressed/depressed kids are more likely to flock to the internet (and this was a study done in 2002, when the internet was still nerdy.) My response was "Ha, I told you so!"

My kid sister

2011-01-21T15:31:55Z

My little sister finished FF7 for the first time the other night.

She then came home the following day and announced "I MADE A SONG. TO SEPHIROTH'S SONG. ABOUT SANDWICHES." (For the curious: "Swiss Cheese, Ham on Rye, Deli Meat, In The Sky, SANDWICHES!")

I related this story to a friend. She asked if Sephiroth fangirlism and a love of food run in the family. Apparently so!

Asked kid sister her favourite characters:

1) Her Gold Chocobo (named Jesus, idek)
2) Cid
3) Rawrsly (Red XIII)
4) Sephiroth/Cloud tied!

I don't think she warmed up to Sephiroth 'til the very end though. One Winged Angel got her (like the legion of fanboys before her). She was pretty excited about beating him up though. Apparently that's very endearing. She also got a gold chocobo! I never did! I set her up with 9 so she can get another one, since it seems to have been her favourite part.

As for me, I... have made basically no progress on the legions of games and projects I am trying to complete.

EXCEPT: My Bayonetta/Dante video is almost done. It will be glorious.

For my later reference

2011-01-17T17:09:06Z

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2008/06/26/how-to-do-masculinity/

This is mostly for posterity because I know I can link it to other people when I am in yet another internet argument.

Anyway, I love Sociological Images. It is a beautiful, beautiful blog, filled with laughter and rage and emotion and pictures of women laughing at salad. Speaking of which: I miss you Sarah Haskins, please come back.

Final Fantasy VII AMV - Rabbit Heart

2011-01-15T17:38:04Z

Video: FFVII
Audio: Rabbit Heart - Florence + The Machine
Summary: Much shorter than usual, a little thing on Aeris and Sephiroth. "Who is the lamb and who is the knife," indeed!

Watch the Video!

Please leave your comments on the youtube page!

Politically motivated, most likely?

2011-01-08T19:54:09Z

Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) was shot in the head today.

This is sublimely fucked up. Third example of a politically left (or percieved politically left) person being attacked/murdered in recent memory, too - Dr. Tiller and that Kentucky census worker being the other two.

Sarah Palin's target image of the US also had her name on it. Apparently Palin has pulled it from her site now.

Games of '10

2011-01-08T06:11:19Z

Beaten

Pokemon HGSS
Prince of Persia 2008
Professor Layton
Assassin's Creed II
Bayonetta
Psychonauts
Syberia
Half-Life 2
Vampire: The Masquerade
Devil May Cry
Resident Evil 4
Dragon Age: Origins
Phoenix Wright 3
Apollo Justice
WOTLK

Begun

Planescape: Torment
Eternal Poison
DMC3
Mass Effect
MGS3
Final Fantasy XIII
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
Cataclysm
Rune Factory 2
Rune Factory 3
Hotel Dusk

Probably some stuff missing from each list. Oh well. I think I did a bit of branching out this year. Maybe.

A lot of good games this year - given the contenders it's hard to pick favourites.

Gameplay: Assassin's Creed II
Art Direction: Psychonauts
Graphics: PoP
Story: Dragon Age (not for the main plotline, but the world and character building)
Music: Bayonetta
Overall: Bayonetta

I also found the best tumblr known to man and I am flooding it: http://fuckyeahterribleamvs.tumblr.com/

paperclipchains @ 2011-01-07T12:31:00

2011-01-07T17:31:55Z

A tumblr full of bad AMVs.

This is so beautiful.

Inception

2011-01-07T07:07:43Z

I saw Inception.

It wasn't that good and I don't think it deserves its praise.

Chris Nolan is still in love with himself.

I feel more vindicated in looking down on people in that fandom now.

So, in other words, no surprises at all.

And more on FFXIII.

2010-12-29T07:58:36Z

It's really hard to believe that this is an insular world where people are just terrified of the outside when literally everyone you meet is skeptical of this viewpoint and knows already that the government is evil.

AC: Brotherhood

2010-12-28T21:50:43Z

I love the opening part of AC: Brotherhood where you and Lucy have to team up to get through a platforming segment. But, then, I liked that in PoP too. Is this what's to come in AC3? I am hoping so!

Further impressions later.

On FFXIII

2010-12-27T08:53:44Z

(Spoiler-free!) Impressions of FFXIII:

Linearity: I've got a lot of patience for linearity, but "Welcome to the tube" keeps scrolling through my mind. The set up is very divorced of context, which to me is more of a problem than being divorced of control. However:

Battle: I like it. It certainly adds some vibrancy to the ATB system. I'd have liked for the paradigms to be named after traditional FF classes, though, even if they wouldn't be totally accurate. The reason for this is... Well, this game doesn't really feel like an FF? It feels more like Advent Children - but then, even Advent Children had the victory music.

Story: There are interesting parts and as far as I can tell none of them are being capitalized on. There's so much tell-don't-show going on it's not even funny, and everything is really too obvious to be meaningful and interesting. They have a few good ideas and do nothing with them.

The premise isn't terrible. The storytelling is. The opening is incredibly weak. I understand why they started us where they did - always good to rush straight into the action - but this isn't the way to do it. What might have worked better is an FFT-style thing where you start sort-of in the future and then play through all the backstory they're uncovering like this is a KH game or something.

The poor setup leads to all kinds of problems. I have no sense of the place I'm in. I, as a genre-savvy player, have no sympathy for the character's viewpoints when I know they are absolutely wrong - and I know they are absolutely wrong not even because I am genre savvy, but because I have been given no setting information to back their viewpoint up. In fact, I've been given setting information that suggests that their viewpoint is absolutely dead wrong and thus it will come as no great surprise to me when this is revealed to be so. I am, however, not supposed to feel this way.

I know I'm not supposed to feel this way not only becaues it's detrimental to storytelling but because the game's datalog tells me how I'm supposed to feel and what my takeaway is supposed to be from every cutscene. However, it's hilariously asynchronous with the actual events of the game, especially where characters are concerned. It's sort of the same experience as watching an AMV, scrolling down, reading the description, and discovering that the KH/Lady Gaga mashup you watched was actually supposed to be some kind of PDA against self-harm. Worst part? It's all painfully written. There is actually a line in there somewhere about hated and loathing burning desperately in Hope's eyes - this does not happen in the cutscene, he just sort of stares a bit blearily off into the distance. It's uncanny.

Everything seems fairly straightforward, thus far. So straightforward, in fact, that I am having trouble shaking this depressing feeling that I knew 90% of the plot by chapter two. Bear in mind I walked into the game only spoiled on one thing - Lightning's first name. Everything else I know came from trailers and promo material. I'm on chapter 5 and thus far, no intrigue, no ambiguity, no tension, no sign of being proven wrong.

My only burning question so far is "Will there be a plot twist?"

Visuals: As much as these are gorgeously rendered, there's a lot of design/usability issues, IMO: Most specifically, half the time I am looking at something and I do not know what I am looking at. I'm at chapter 5 and I still have only a vague idea of what a fal'cie looks like - I definitely can't pick one out on sight. Things I thought were fal'cie have thus far turned out to be airships and elevators - and I can't pick out the actual fal'cie from the wallpaper when my party says I'm looking at 'em.

Similarly, in a rather alien landscape it's difficult, almost impossible, to figure out what I'm actually looking at. In the Whitewood, I never would have known I was in a forest if not for the name, and I still can't figure out exactly what I was supposed to take away from those visual cues. Is this a cyber-forest rather than an actual forest? Is that the idea? I can't tell, I don't have enough visual or narrative information to be able to firmly say one way or the other.

This is such a failing, IMO, and it compounds hugely with the failings of the story. The world is disjointed and the design feels purposeless - like they were just working with what they thought might be cool to run through, and mostly recycling ideas from old games at that.

Characters: I don't have any strong feelings in either direction at this point, but I have to ask: Why is Snow made to look like such a douchebag? Once you get past the first chapter he is very clearly not that much of a douchebag, and yet you have him dressing like that and riding a motorcycle literally made of ladies? I'm getting very mixed messages, Nomura.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T22:43:12Z

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! I am unfortunately quarantined in my room, due to illness. They're trying to keep me from infecting the guests.

Regale me with tales of your delicious food and neat-o swag!

We're having the traditional turkey dinner with Macedonian additions, all of which have names I cannot spell, and among my gifts this year was what must be the world's tiniest pocket watch. It is a little bigger than my thumbnail and completely adorbs.

Top 10 Reasons Why The Cloti/Cleris Ship War Is Stupid

2010-12-24T19:19:49Z

1. There is adequate evidence for both pairings and adequate room left by the game and the compilation for personal interpretation. This is done deliberately, because Squeenix wants your money.

2. You are not actually going to change anybody's mind. You're going to get people giving you asspats because they think you have understood the ONE TRUE WAY OF CANON and people who think you're an idiot. There are no middle-ground people just waiting to be swayed over to your side - those are just people trying to avoid getting involved because they know how cray cray ship wars get.

3. Your lists and manifestos will not actually make your ship any more or less canon. The fact that you can cherry pick examples is not impressive, because -- see point 1 -- the other side can do so, too. The best that you can hope to accomplish is not embarrassing yourself.

4. It is possible for Cloud to have strong feelings for both girls - or neither.

5. It is possible for both girls to have strong feelings for Cloud and other dudes - or ladies.

6. ... and everybody knows that Aeris/Tifa is where it's at, anyway.

7. These lists always end in Aeris or Tifa bashing, usually based on sexist bullshit or a gross misunderstanding of their characters, and that shit just isn't cool.

8. I thought we were over this like 5 years ago.

9. Seriously, guys? Seriously?

10. It's not even important for your ship to be canon, anyway, because you can still ship it and enjoy it.

A whole barrel of crazy

2010-12-24T05:29:11Z

A hilariously bad manifesto.

Some choice quotes:

"Cloud immediately notices Aerith's innocent green eyes and after buying a flower from her, he says her smile was a good purchase. "

"And no, this feeling isn't Cloud's guilt over failing to protect her. As we know, Cloud is healed of that guilt. Making it not undying."

"They're[sic] bond. It's just so romantic to know that Cloud shares a bond with a woman he only knew for two weeks."

"And then, when he's in the Forgotten City, he hears and feels her in his soul. To feel someone in your soul makes them your soul mate. "

"Cloud's a jaded, heart & soul, and Aerith's an innocent ball of happiness and light."

"When she dies, Cloud's heart breaks... it breaks in the most poetic way possible. "

"And last but not least, Cloud's main reason to fight Sephiroth, it isn't to avenge his home town burning down, not to avenge his mother, not because it's what should be done--but above all else, to unfreeze Aerith's smile."

ETA: Banned from commenting in her journal, and some CloTi fan put up a similarly awful (though not as bad) rebuttal. ONE THAT INSULTS MY WAIFU.

Got the Cata trial.

2010-12-23T03:24:53Z

WoW is wasted on its players.

But hey! Goblins are pretty rad!

VDEXERS.

2010-12-15T22:50:32Z

HEY, PEOPLE WHO PLAY VDEX.

What do you want for Christmas?

Planescape Torments Me

2010-12-12T08:21:38Z

I'm back up to Planescape in my game queue. Right now, I've got Dak'kon and Annah. I just finished Pharod's quest for him, and the tomb of ~~The Nameless One~~ Stanley. Moooorte, you got some 'splainin' to do!

I happened to glance at a FAQ, unfortunately, and I am all depressed about the stuff that I missed! I hate missing things. Especially in a game like this. I am probably going to have to just move on to the next section to keep from getting all grouchy about it.

Aside from Morte, my party members are thus far not endearing themselves to me very much. I don't know how I managed to get Annah cozied up to me in my very first conversation with her but it was weird and uncomfortable and I am glad "Annah you are making me very uncomfortable" was actually a dialogue option. Stanley has a dead girlfriend waiting for him! He is not into young red-haired rat-tailed chicks!

Anyway. The game is still hella engaging. I hope to finish it soon, but I've no idea how much is left.

Next on the queue: Beyond Good and Evil.

Tomb Raider

2010-12-11T06:56:02Z

Lara Croft redesign and developer quotes

"All of the character design decisions came from trying to make her believable. We didn’t want to make her a sexual object. She is a character that we want you to believe in."

it's so beautiful

My experience with Tomb Raider is basically this: Back in the days of demo disks, I had one for Tomb Raider 3. I thought it was really cool! Moving around stuff! Being a girl! Jumping in the water! Puzzles I couldn't fucking figure out! Scary dog things! And then, in the naiveity of my youth, I googled, found pictures of a nude hack, and never touched the games again. Tragic, really - but I will almost definitely get this, if only because I feel compelled to throw money at these people for approaching character design the way it should be approached.

delicious fanboy tears here i come omnomnom