boring ass bitch

ostia @ 2019-06-16T13:19:00

2019-06-16T18:19:16Z

Holyshit i actually remembered the password to this thing.

ostia @ 2011-03-15T03:40:00

2011-03-15T08:40:31Z

I'm done with this journal.

I will still use it to check on friends once or twice a week but, otherwise, I'm done with it.

I can still be reached from here via LJ notifs but uh.. knowing LJ, it might be faster just to e-mail/IM/plurk at me.

♥ ♥ ♥

♥

ostia @ 2011-03-12T03:39:00

2011-03-12T09:39:40Z

Yep.

There've been a couple of them, actually. When I was younger (like elementary school) I wanted to be like Sir Gawain and Sir Galahad. They were MY BOYS, my favorite knights of Camelot, and they were just the best things ever. I wanted to be brave, and strong, and MIGHT FOR RIGHT just like they were.

When I got a little bit older, I read The Forever King and my God, Hal was my hero. I loved that man so much and I won't ruin which of my two favorite knights he is the reincarnation of although if you know any Arthurian legend at all it won't be hard to tell if you read it. (don't wiki it dammit that will ruin it 8(] /run on sentence Hal was just so wonderful. I mean, the world had beaten him up and kicked him around but fuck no was he gonna let anything happen to the kid Arthur. :||||||

Yeah, the Knights of the Round Table have pretty much been a big part of my life for most of my life, and I'm completely okay with that.

Now that I'm a little bit older again, I'm a big fan of the Dresden Files series. And I'm not ashamed to admit that sometimes I remind myself to "do the right thing". If you haven't read any of the series ~~you should check it out~~, basically doing "the right thing" is Harry's thing. It's gotten the people around him in trouble/killed/nearly killed, and it's gotten him nearly killed who knows how many times by now. :| But he can't just not do it. It's not who Harry is. He's a dork, and a loser, and like, the lamest warden ever. :||||| but he always, always tries to do the right thing. So he's pretty much my hero. :)

/nerd rambling

♥

ostia @ 2011-03-10T06:14:00

2011-03-10T12:14:45Z

You know what?

I'm not nearly as bad as I let people tell me I am.

And I'm not nearly as bad as I tell myself I am.

Sometimes it's just hard to remember that, you know?

♥

Writer's Block: The nickname game

2011-03-06T11:38:00Z

I have called araphen peanut and puppy.

ampora is pancake.

sidecharacter is waffle.

renyuki is bacon and boss.

kanjoku is muffin.

Yeah, apparently I was hungry or craving breakfast food or something.

How have you been f-list?

♥

ostia @ 2011-02-23T23:46:00

2011-02-24T05:46:57Z

❝what's my blood color?❞
a homestuck meme

♥

ostia @ 2011-02-12T02:01:00

2011-02-12T08:02:03Z

I was bored!

So I did

Bold sentences are true, italicized sentences only partly true.

APPEARANCE:
I am 5'4" or shorter.
I think I'm ugly.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I've had braces.
I own glasses.
I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.

FAMILY/HOME LIFE:
I've sworn at my parents. It's okay; she swears back.
I've been kicked out of the house. I got kicked out for the day :|a
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I have children.
I've lost a child.

EMBARRASSMENT:
I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
I've snorted while laughing.
I've laughed so hard I've cried. Good times. :)
I've glued my hand to something.
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose. Almost!
I've had my pants rip in public. I was little. And they were technically shorts.

HEALTH:
I was born with a disease/impairment.
I've had stitches.
I've broken a bone.
I've had my tonsils removed.
I've sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I've had chicken pox.

TRAVELING:
I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
I've been on a plane.
I've been to Canada.
I've been to Niagara Falls.
I've been to Japan.
I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I've been to Europe.
I've been to Africa.
I've been to France.

EXPERIENCES:
I've been lost in my city.
I've seen a shooting star.
I've wished on a shooting star.
I've seen a meteor shower.
I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I've been to a casino.
I've been skydiving.
I've gone skinny dipping.
I've played spin the bottle.
I've crashed a car.
I've been skiing.
I've been in a play.
I've met someone in person from the Internet.
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I've seen the Northern Lights.
I've sat on a rooftop at night.
I've played chicken.
I've played a prank on someone.
I've ridden in a taxi. Once, and it was expensive and horrible.
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I've eaten sushi.
I've been snowboarding.

RELATIONSHIPS:
I'm single.
I'm in a relationship.
I'm available.
I'm engaged.
I'm married.
I've gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I've been divorced.
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
I've told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I've kept something from a past relationship.

SEXUALITY:
I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
I've kissed a member of the same sex. It was chaste; nothin' hot an' heavy.
I've had sex with someone of the opposite sex.
I've had sex with someone of the same sex.
I've had sex with more than one person at the same time.
I am a cuddler.
I've been kissed in the rain.
I've had sex outdoors.
I've hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I have had sex with a stranger.

HONESTY/CRIME:
I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I've cheated while playing a game. Only the vidya.
I've cheated on a test.
I've run a red light.
I've been suspended from school.
I've witnessed a crime. People selling drugs right in front of us.
I've been in a fist fight.
I've been arrested.
I've shoplifted.

DRUGS/ALCOHOL:
I've consumed alcohol.
I smoke cigarettes.
I smoke pot.
I regularly drink.
I've taken painkillers when I didn’t need them. Once.

MENTAL HEALTH:
I have been diagnosed with depression.
I shut others out when I'm depressed.
I take anti-depressants.
I have an eating disorder.
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
I've hurt myself on purpose. Years ago, never since.
I'm addicted to self harm.
I've woken up crying.

DEATH:
I'm afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I've seen someone dying.
I have attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.

RANDOM:
I can sing well.
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others too easily.
I watch the news. Sometimes. It usually bums me out.
I don't kill bugs. Sometimes. I catch/release if I can.
I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for sake of being able to rhyme.
I curse regularly. Bad habit, I know.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person. ..lol
I paid for my cell phone ringtone.
I'm a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I play with my hair.
I have/had "x"s in my screen name.
I love being neat.
I love Spam.
I've copied more than 30 CDs in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I don't know how to shoot a gun. I've learned basics, but had no hard practice.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes. Sometimes, haha.
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts. Sorta? maybe?
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish. It's my downfall. ;;
I love white chocolate. Ew.
I bite my nails. I've tried stopping, but it hasn't worked yet.
I play video games. Casually.
I'm good at remembering faces.
I'm good at remembering names.
I'm good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Wow, I'm uneventful, haha. :')

♥

ostia @ 2011-02-10T02:41:00

2011-02-10T08:41:23Z

so, an update.

- my sister and I have robo dwarf hamsters now. she was going to be the only one to get one, but then she and my mom decided that her's was lonely. :| ~~I still have no idea what to name her.~~ Her name is Feferi.

- the clinic didn't call. I guess it's going to take a while? I might call on Friday though if I don't hear anything by then. I feel like shit, seriously, and the longer we don't know what it is, the more I worry it's something scary and serious.

- I am still catching up on Homestuck. It's amazing, no lie, but it hurts my eyes sometimes.

- I am caught up on The Office! Minus one or two episodes I couldn't find. Pam and Jim are adorable.

- Re-addicted to virtual pet sites. ;_; It's really fun, actually, if sorta frustrating. Plus it's original character fodder, if I wasn't in such a writing funk.

- OH. DOMO IS BACK AT H-E-B. (that's a grocery store, for people not in texas.) I really wanted the nerd one last time, and now I have my chance! 8D

♥

ostia @ 2011-02-06T19:52:00

2011-02-07T01:52:05Z

8DDDD!!!!!

♥

ostia @ 2011-02-04T02:49:00

2011-02-04T08:49:11Z

Anyone on my f-list play, or know someone who plays, OCs?

"The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible."

- Arthur C. Clarke

ETEOS is an original character roleplaying game set in a futuristic, dystopian city. Characters have been gifted with superhuman abilities, and will be thrust into an apocalyptic war between magic and technology.

navigation • story/premise • ooc

The game starts on Feb. 12th, and there are only 5 players so far... I really thought LJ would JUMP on an OC game, but I guess that's all IJ nowadays?

Anyway!

* NO APPS
This is awesome.

The trade off of course is that, at this time, only anime/manga/video game PBs are allowed. No word on whether this will change in the future, but don't bank on it.

So.. yeah.

Just trying to spread the word a little. :>

♥

ostia @ 2011-02-03T17:38:00

2011-02-03T23:38:52Z

That is an incredibly stupid thing you are doing. You are an intelligent person and I don't care how futile you think doing things in a healthy way would be - you're too smart for that bullshit.

You are damaging your body and your health, and if your body image hurts you that much, maybe it's time to talk to a professional about it. Before, you know, your body starts devouring itself and your heart gives out.

The physical one, not that metaphorical bullshit.

The person this is for will know it is for them, providing that they see it, and they are welcome to get upset about it. It's the truth, and I'm tired of seeing good people make incredibly stupid decisions.

♥

ostia @ 2011-01-29T23:27:00

2011-01-30T05:27:27Z

friends cut

Removing some people I never talk to, ever, and lots of communities that are dead.

I went through and unchecked everyone, then rechecked those of you I would love to have stick around ♥ So if it shows FM UNFRIENDED YOU AND HATES YOU FOREVER!!1!! but you know we talk? it was likely just while I was cleaning up. :)

Okay? Okay.

If anyone unfriended would like to give it another try, drop me a comment!

♥

ostia @ 2011-01-29T02:04:00

2011-01-29T08:04:09Z

I made a plurk because Jac threatened to hate me forever unless I did.

True story.

I probably won't use it much, if at all (I use Twitter for my spam), but whatever whatever.

http://www.plurk.com/fuckthatnoise :)

♥

ostia @ 2011-01-28T13:41:00

2011-01-28T19:41:47Z

Hey, could I ask for your all's help really quick?

I'm thinking of getting back into an OC RP game and right now they're only accepting Video game/anime/manga PBs. I'm.. kind of really out of the loop with anime and stuff right now so I was hoping you all might be able to suggest a PB? I can find icons, or make them if I have to, I just need help finding a face. :D

Male, early to mid-thirties, dark hair - short if possible.

It's totally cool if he looks younger than he is though. We all know nobody in anime-land ages normally.

Any suggestions would be looooooved~ 8)

♥

ostia @ 2011-01-27T15:35:00

2011-01-27T21:35:39Z

Ugandan gay activist slain after photo published

KAMPALA, Uganda – A prominent Ugandan gay rights activist whose picture was published by an anti-gay newspaper next to the words "Hang Them" was bludgeoned to death. Police said Thursday his sexual orientation had nothing to do with the killing and that one "robber" had been arrested.

Bull.Fucking.Shit.

♥

ostia @ 2011-01-26T23:33:00

2011-01-27T05:33:16Z

I was productive today! Okay, so maybe the dishes didn't get washed.. (I swear, I will start that shit tomorrow!) But I did get grocery shopping done (should only need to replenish milk later) and I did make a doctor's appt!

.. okay, so that doesn't SOUND particularly impressive, but if you'd have seen me the past week you'd know it was pretty darn good.

Never mind there, here's some important stuff:

Y!gallery desperately needs a sysadmin versed in Debian Linux and md softraid or they will have to close down on February 14.

I don't frequent it much, seeing as I'm just an admirer and not an artist or a writer, but it seems like Y!Gallery is a pretty important place to a lot of people, and I'd hate to see it go. If you have some spare time and wouldn't mind at least linking the article, that would be great.♥ There is bound to be a gay friendly computer nerd who can save the day out there somewhere.

Okay, another link of interest! I don't know if this thing is old and you all have already taken measures or what, but Spokeo.com, have you heard of it? Basically you type in someone's name and you can get a shit load of information on them - e-mail, address, family members, income, property value, etc etc. Someone would have to pay to get most of the information aside from your address, but isn't that creepy enough? And it's not like 3.00$ for a month would break someone's bank, you know?

it's fucking creepy. I know google earth already does the "here's the picture of the address you typed in!" thing, but at least that way they have to know your address, not just your name. D| Good news is, they seem to honor requests to remove the information. It still lists 3 matches in texas when I search for my mom, but only gives information for two now. :)

okay, well, this post is long enough now. I will gush about how much I unexpectedly love The Office next time.

I hope tomorrow is a good day for everyone. ♥

♥

ostia @ 2011-01-24T00:23:00

2011-01-24T06:23:55Z

I love this song. ;_;

yeah, I'm back to making pointless posts, oops. I will have a post with some kind of substance tomorrow/later today/whatever. But I'm tired/sick at the moment so all you get is awesome music. I swear, this band is one of the best things I ever got out of reading webcomics.

ps. if you're on neopets/subeta add me. let's bitch about being lame/broke together.

♥

ostia @ 2011-01-23T02:28:00

2011-01-23T08:28:45Z

because everyone deserves a dose of goodwill and happy, fuck yeah.♥

click here for happy

♥

ostia @ 2010-12-21T00:02:00

2010-12-21T06:02:29Z

I know I haven't been around much (I'M A TERRIBLE FRIEND x() but I'm gonna just put up a hiatus sort of thing until the new year, or a little after.

My mom is super sick right now, my sister is sick with what sounds like what I had, and I still have to go to the doctor for swollen glands (the same they said might be cancer last year except now there's more of them) and what may or may not be asthma. I'm really hoping at least my mom and sister feel better in time for Christmas. They don't deserve to be miserable on one of the few days we'll actually be home together. :/

(NGL, I'd also like it to be asthma and an infection (again) instead of cancer, please and thanks |D)

I am still on aim/e-mail/whatever if someone needs anything.

It sounds ~*~dramatic~*~ but I just can't deal with being on here right now. But I ♥ you guys, and I hope you all have fantastic holidays and amazing new years. ♥

[ >:E ]

2010-12-11T06:34:29Z

Ugh, she is such a fucking liar.

She didn't call anyone.

She resumed making fun of me and told me to get over it.

I'm just.. really pissed and frustrated.

I have 25$ dollars coming to me, but not for another 3-4 weeks.

What the fuck happened to all my 'friends' in Cove?

I could use a fucking hug, goddammit. >:(

ostia @ 2010-12-10T04:20:00

2010-12-10T10:20:27Z

I'm tired and kind of shaky, probably because it's cold. |D (/genius) But I've been neglecting this thing. I've just had no desire to say anything, I guess. I've been keeping up okay with my f-list's journals though! You guys are cool kids.

We're going to finish the last of the Christmas shopping tomorrow, and then clean up the house so we can put up the Christmas decorations and eat a good dinner together on Saturday. (If we didn't have my sister, none of that holiday nonsense would go up at all, but we do, so it does.)

My mom has the month of December off and has been coming with my sister and I when I take her walking. It's good - she cooperates better when my mom's there. Tonight I couldn't keep up after making it about halfway down the hill. My chest just started hurting again, after being fine allll the way up. I think mom might actually finally believe that it hurts, and that I'm not just fucking crazy or making shit up. She said she'd call Dr. Coleman tomorrow. He's not my doctor, he's my sister's, but she says he's the only one who caught my sister's asthma so he might be able to recommend someone who sees adult patients.

We don't have the money for doctor visits. We really don't. I feel bad enough being the one who has to say 'no', or 'we don't have the money right now', so I feel shitty spending it on myself. I keep thinking that maybe if it's a specialist this time they'll figure it out though. There's a lot of things it could be! But I am (unfortunately) fantastically morbid and have jumped on all the horrible possibilities primarily. It's stupid, but it's made me kind of a wreck at night, when it starts hurting and I'm by myself. I'd really like it if all this worrying was for nothing. ♥

On the plus side, I have been watching Sherlock Holmes short movies from the mid-80s, and those are fantastic, and my library card got renewed, which is also fantastic, and I have been playing Neopets again. You are welcome to say what you will about it - between my mom and my brother, I've heard it all ;) - BUT LEMME JUST SAY. Talk about character fodder, man. The last time I had inspiration this fun was when I first got into World of Darkness. But don't worry, I won't spam about it or anything.

Okay, holyshit, wall of text.

And it's past 4 am now. I think it's bedtime now.

♥

ostia @ 2010-11-29T10:26:00

2010-11-29T16:26:41Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALEX!!! ♥

I hope it's a great one! :D ♥♥

♥

ostia @ 2010-11-27T02:24:00

2010-11-27T08:24:28Z

Link

♥

[ i'm trying to ]

2010-11-03T03:51:20Z

♥

ostia @ 2010-11-01T16:44:00

2010-11-01T21:44:40Z

DEAR DOCTOR'S OFFICE,

FUCK YOU.

YOU CAN'T SEE ME FOR CHEST PAIN, WHEN YOU'VE SEEN ME FOR CHEST PAIN TWICE BE-FUCKING-FORE?

BULLSHIT.

FUCK YOU.

BULLSHIT.

I will call back tomorrow and make an appointment for something else, and then when I see the fucking doctor I will then tell him about the chest pain I am not paying 300+ dollars to go to an emergency room for something that is not an emergency do I look like I am made of money FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

There is a fly in the house. >:|

I would like to punch something. >:|

Today is not a good day. >:|

♥