Monday morning ... again.
Good morning ... actually, it's afternoon by 48 minutes.
Well, Love's Labour's Lost was interesting this weekend. I thought I was doing great after my momentary Thursday down in the dumps about the review thing. Saturday was difficult. Showing up to the show, facing all those actors and crew and talking about it sort of put me in a weird place. Helen, the director, made a great point about "you can't believe a review ... good or bad. All reviews are good for is marketing and getting an audience." The first part of the show, I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I could hear my voice, I knew I was saying stuff, I knew the character was doing what he was doing, but I didn't feel like I was in my body. Several other actors said very similar things to me. Very strange. Maybe it was the sage that the stage manager was burning. *grin*
I find this annoying need to be recognized as an artist and an actor. I suppose annoying is an understatement. There are times it becomes all encompassing, and I have to stand back, take a look at myself, take a deep breath, and just do my art. Otherwise, I shut down. I find it difficult to make choices on stage, criticize myself (i.e., I'm too fat, I can't believe I said that, I wish I had a full head of hair. Your voice is too high. The beard looks horrible. You're not "real" enough in your character. blah, blah, blah.) It's all bullshit, honestly. What I'm finding is that I am pretty good at this acting thing. I'm very conscious about what's going on. I continue exploring even during performances. I try to be truthful to the character and the characters around me. I am as emotionally truthful as I can be.
The show closes next weekend, and so far, none of my friends or classmates have come. It disappointed/hurt me during Othello, but this time it's okay. K asked me, "Who are you acting for?" I suppose my answer is, "Me" and it's "for those people who want to come." The rest of them, not so much.
Branagh has slowed down a LOT since Aaron moved out. I'm not sure what's up. Maybe he's a bit depressed. But he's moving very slowly. He's still eating and drinking, so as far as I can tell he's okay, physically. And he seems to be a bit better the last couple of days. When I get home, he usually wants to be let into the bedroom, so I do. And on those occasions when I keep him outside the bedroom so that I can visit him, he ends up going into the bathroom and laying down in the bathtub. It's hard to believe that he's over 10 years old ... he'll be 11 in December. I've known him almost that whole time. My antenna are telling me he won't be around for a whole lot longer, but who knows?
K sent me a really beautiful greeting over the weekend. Made me feel really loved. She is a very sweet and thoughtful woman.
DD of Love's Labour's Lost is a very sweet man. Very handsome, very funny and vulnerable enough to make me want to take care of him. Of course, he's heterosexual AND dating an absolutely stunning woman. What is it about straight men who are able to be open and kind to me, that makes me fall right head over heels with 'em? Perhaps it's just that so few gay men I've met are able to do that or I just don't attract them into my life.
R has beautiful eyes, a nice body, but is a little off ... I can't tell exactly what. He seems to be wounded in some manner, sort of like when Patrick came back from the Gulf War. R is getting a bit better though. I think this show helped him a bit.
I go back to my acting class on August 10, and I'm singing "Joey, Joey, Joey". I haven't sung in quite a while, so this should be interesting.
My house is a bit cleaner, and I'll work on it some more tonight. I can't WAIT 'til I get paid on Wednesday. This has been the longest damned pay period.
I just read a series of journal entries by a woman who was writing about her experiences as a porn store clerk. It's quite amazing. You can read it at this website address.
http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/showthread.php?s=c70aa88bd5ecaa8866671566efa05c45&threadid=4475&perpage=20&pagenumber=1
She has quite the facility for observation and humor and especially makes a GREAT attempt to figure out the differences between men and woman.
Heading to get more work done.
Light and Laughter,
Travis
Well, Love's Labour's Lost was interesting this weekend. I thought I was doing great after my momentary Thursday down in the dumps about the review thing. Saturday was difficult. Showing up to the show, facing all those actors and crew and talking about it sort of put me in a weird place. Helen, the director, made a great point about "you can't believe a review ... good or bad. All reviews are good for is marketing and getting an audience." The first part of the show, I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I could hear my voice, I knew I was saying stuff, I knew the character was doing what he was doing, but I didn't feel like I was in my body. Several other actors said very similar things to me. Very strange. Maybe it was the sage that the stage manager was burning. *grin*
I find this annoying need to be recognized as an artist and an actor. I suppose annoying is an understatement. There are times it becomes all encompassing, and I have to stand back, take a look at myself, take a deep breath, and just do my art. Otherwise, I shut down. I find it difficult to make choices on stage, criticize myself (i.e., I'm too fat, I can't believe I said that, I wish I had a full head of hair. Your voice is too high. The beard looks horrible. You're not "real" enough in your character. blah, blah, blah.) It's all bullshit, honestly. What I'm finding is that I am pretty good at this acting thing. I'm very conscious about what's going on. I continue exploring even during performances. I try to be truthful to the character and the characters around me. I am as emotionally truthful as I can be.
The show closes next weekend, and so far, none of my friends or classmates have come. It disappointed/hurt me during Othello, but this time it's okay. K asked me, "Who are you acting for?" I suppose my answer is, "Me" and it's "for those people who want to come." The rest of them, not so much.
Branagh has slowed down a LOT since Aaron moved out. I'm not sure what's up. Maybe he's a bit depressed. But he's moving very slowly. He's still eating and drinking, so as far as I can tell he's okay, physically. And he seems to be a bit better the last couple of days. When I get home, he usually wants to be let into the bedroom, so I do. And on those occasions when I keep him outside the bedroom so that I can visit him, he ends up going into the bathroom and laying down in the bathtub. It's hard to believe that he's over 10 years old ... he'll be 11 in December. I've known him almost that whole time. My antenna are telling me he won't be around for a whole lot longer, but who knows?
K sent me a really beautiful greeting over the weekend. Made me feel really loved. She is a very sweet and thoughtful woman.
DD of Love's Labour's Lost is a very sweet man. Very handsome, very funny and vulnerable enough to make me want to take care of him. Of course, he's heterosexual AND dating an absolutely stunning woman. What is it about straight men who are able to be open and kind to me, that makes me fall right head over heels with 'em? Perhaps it's just that so few gay men I've met are able to do that or I just don't attract them into my life.
R has beautiful eyes, a nice body, but is a little off ... I can't tell exactly what. He seems to be wounded in some manner, sort of like when Patrick came back from the Gulf War. R is getting a bit better though. I think this show helped him a bit.
I go back to my acting class on August 10, and I'm singing "Joey, Joey, Joey". I haven't sung in quite a while, so this should be interesting.
My house is a bit cleaner, and I'll work on it some more tonight. I can't WAIT 'til I get paid on Wednesday. This has been the longest damned pay period.
I just read a series of journal entries by a woman who was writing about her experiences as a porn store clerk. It's quite amazing. You can read it at this website address.
http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/showthread.php?s=c70aa88bd5ecaa8866671566efa05c45&threadid=4475&perpage=20&pagenumber=1
She has quite the facility for observation and humor and especially makes a GREAT attempt to figure out the differences between men and woman.
Heading to get more work done.
Light and Laughter,
Travis