Isn't it strange?
Good morning, Gentle Reader,
I was just musing that the farther along on the path of healing you get, the harder a disease fights to live.
This weekend was GREAT, and then it was not so great.
Suffice it to say, sex coma visited again, which led to nicotine coma and almost turned into drug coma ... the line was SO blurred.
I seem to be in most danger for relapse when I've accomplished something. Isn't that weird?
I think that sobriety is not just the absence of certain substances. It's recovering the ability to take care of oneself in a productive way and face one's life, and take care of and nurture yourself without substances. Under this definition, I'm not sober. Not even remotely.
"Step 1. Admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable."
I am powerless over so many things, let me see if I can just list them so they're not this big monster running around my brains.
1. Drugs.
2. Alcohol.
3. Nicotine.
4. Food.
5. Sex.
Oh look, there's only five of them. Yippee!!!
My life is unmanageable, and it's starting to unravel around the edges.
However, having said that, I feel the imminent presence of a breakthrough. That's also very strange.
As I continue to clean my house out, literally AND figuratively, the old stuff, which has been lying more or less dormant for years, has resurfaced ... viciously.
So, I'm starting a renewed program of recovery, which means 12-step meetings, at least one face to face a week and the online stuff that has been helping me, as well.
Light and Laughter,
Travis
I was just musing that the farther along on the path of healing you get, the harder a disease fights to live.
This weekend was GREAT, and then it was not so great.
Suffice it to say, sex coma visited again, which led to nicotine coma and almost turned into drug coma ... the line was SO blurred.
I seem to be in most danger for relapse when I've accomplished something. Isn't that weird?
I think that sobriety is not just the absence of certain substances. It's recovering the ability to take care of oneself in a productive way and face one's life, and take care of and nurture yourself without substances. Under this definition, I'm not sober. Not even remotely.
"Step 1. Admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable."
I am powerless over so many things, let me see if I can just list them so they're not this big monster running around my brains.
1. Drugs.
2. Alcohol.
3. Nicotine.
4. Food.
5. Sex.
Oh look, there's only five of them. Yippee!!!
My life is unmanageable, and it's starting to unravel around the edges.
However, having said that, I feel the imminent presence of a breakthrough. That's also very strange.
As I continue to clean my house out, literally AND figuratively, the old stuff, which has been lying more or less dormant for years, has resurfaced ... viciously.
So, I'm starting a renewed program of recovery, which means 12-step meetings, at least one face to face a week and the online stuff that has been helping me, as well.
Light and Laughter,
Travis