Shoppers come into our stores for different reasons and with many different perspectives and lived experiences.

From the joys and celebrations that prompt purchases, to the heavy stresses of life that call for a form retail therapy … we have no idea what’s going on in their world as they browse what’s on the shelves.

It is the Shopkeeper’s job to welcome them in and practice Non-JAR.

What in the world is “Non-JAR”?? It’s a gift from my mentor who casually mentioned it during a recent conversation, as all good mentors do:

Non-Judgement

Non-Attachment

Non-Resistance

So much of our suffering comes from judging, attaching to, and resisting what’s in front of us, or what isn’t but we think should be in front of us. I certainly suffered with these during my shopkeeping days when I wasn’t mindful of my own energy.

Practicing Non-JAR (I’ve gotta come up with a sexier name) frees up our capacity for compassion, understanding, and empathy.

Instead of judging someone for the purchase they’ve returned, or not purchasing anything at all …

Instead of attaching yourself to an outcome (ie. a sale that you MUST MAKE) …

Instead of resisting the market trends that you didn’t see, or want to see, coming …

Instead of getting swallowed up by judgement, attachment, or resistance you could let go and free yourself, your customers, and your potential to care for people, truly.

***

The intrigue and excitement for what I was about to learn did not match the sterile, windowless room we sat in. I was eighteen, and it was a training day for my new sales associate role at Nordstrom, a store and role that would teach me not only what customer service means, but how it plays out on the sales floor.

Many examples were given, but one that stuck with me the most, perhaps because it felt like the most radical and important, was to never make assumptions.

The facilitator offered this scenario:

A man approaches a makeup counter and asks to see different shades of red lipstick.

How do we respond?

The correct answer — said with a smile — is My pleasure. Which shade would you like to start with?

We make no assumptions about who the lipstick is for. It could be for his wife, sister, daughter, mother, friend, or himself.

We make no assumptions about the customer’s intention because doing so could create an awkward and embarrassing situation. It could even anger the customer if they’re going through a delicate period of life.

Thirteen years later, I remembered this training lesson while chatting with a customer in my own brick and mortar store. We got to talking about a cool recycling bin that we had just started selling and I made the assumption that he already recycled. I said something like “imagine how much better this would look sitting in your kitchen versus a blue bin or sad floppy paper bag?”

He looked at me with an awkward smile and said, “Uh, I don’t recycle, actually.” It was like I had caught him red-handed or unintentionally shamed him. We both laughed it off and moved on, but I immediately mentally kicked myself in the butt. How could I have forgotten the simple rule of not making assumptions??

Sure, my example is harmless compared to other possibilities, but I share it to raise awareness of our interactions with customers.

Awareness is linked to empathy, possibly in a chicken-or-the-egg type of way — you get one because of the other. Either way, we have to start somewhere.

Awareness and empathy require us not to make assumptions, judgments, or project our own fears, frustrations, or troubles onto others.

Awareness and empathy allow for attachments to dissolve so that we may serve in the highest capacities. We’re here to serve our customers … our communities.

And the beauty of these shop floor lessons is that they don’t just stay on the shop floor.

If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy my book:

OPEN: Big Lessons in Small Retail and Living the Shopkeeper Dream

Check it out here

"OPEN is an invitation to take personal inventory and design (or re-design) your personal power beyond the storefront of your professional pursuits. As tactical as it is transparent, this is a must read for any Service Provider, Shopkeeper or Serial Entrepreneur looking to become their best self in life and biz."

— Kj Christensen, Speaker / Author / Strategist