once I let the machines
repair my body

they power-washed my stomach
drilled relief into my tail

one guy spent the entire time
in my jaw, just scraping

they must have missed some
what I described to my parents 

as a knife above my chest
not stabbing, just hovering there

I’ve got it down to my stomach
I’m trying to push it out

I’ve ejected my appendix
anxiety— what I describe now

as a strange fungus aboard a ship
oh to cut it loose

to watch it drift into the cold
never to wonder if you love me

to devalue your love so
never to make things wrong

because it’s easier
because I know these things by

prescription, or strand
because I can blame them

and make them disappear
to appear changed