oldmainer

The other day I was thinking (my wife was fond of saying I didn’t do it every day) about where I am in life and what I am doing about it. Since my retirement and her passing, my time has become my own and I have a lot of days and hours to fill. I have decided volunteering is the answer. So, I began driving a van for the local Humane Society, collecting distressed pet products from retailers. However, life interceded as I encountered some health problems restricting my activity, so, since the society needs so much volunteer help, it was not difficult to find something else to do.

I began volunteering at events. I tried vaccine clinics and adoption events, but a tremor in my hand restricted my ability to fill out applications. . I also couldn’t lift anything over 10 pounds. I wanted to participate, but found my opportunities decreasing, at least in my mind.

It is at this point that I was reminded of a conversations I had years ago with a manager, shortly after attaining my first supervisory position. I was in charge of, among other things, warehousing and shipping. . I was up to the task, whatever that might be, and it took only a few weeks before I had an epiphany about our shipping processes and immediately and proudly brought them to the attention of my boss. I give him credit. He listened patiently while I described the perceived problem I had uncovered. He asked several questions to assure he understood exactly where I was coming from. Then he said “so, what did you do”?

I was without an answer. I saw my role only as identifying a problem and bringing it to the attention of management. However, in just five words, he changed my perspective on not only what was professionally expected of me, but what personally was expected of me. Specifically, every problem requires a solution and I was expected to identify both.

Time has passed but perspective has not. The same question exists today as it did then. “What am I going to do about it”. How am I going to deal with the issues that cause me to admit my age and ability. How am I going to provide value.

I have decided that, given the opportunity to volunteer, help, participate, that which I can’t do should not be part of the equation. What I can do and who needs that ability should be my solution, and will be.

The tomorrows we encounter are never going to emulate our today’s.

Today, as I do every day, I read the daily prompt. Today it said ” Tell us about the last thing you got excited about”. Well, at my age, that required some thought. I don’t get excited about much of anything anymore. I hyperventilate on occasion, but I don’t know if that counts. Actually, it took me so long to make a decision that I had to sit in my recliner to reflect. Unfortunately, I fell asleep. Naps are important to me apparently, because I find myself having several without approval.

When I awoke, I again applied myself to the task of making a decision. Being that they had asked for the last thing that excited me, I had to start digging into my past. If they had asked for the first thing, it would have been a lot easier. I immediately thought of turning 21. Oh yeah, that was exciting. I also thought of my first girlfriend and how we, how we, well, you know. Kind of wished I could have used that one.

But, in retrospect, I knew that there had to be something much more recent that had excited me. Something that, maybe only to me, had struck a cord. Had stuck in my mind. And then it came to me.

It turned out to be a personal thing, however, shared by millions of us. It was the moment that my pathology results stated “no evidence of recurrent/metastatic disease”. I was in fact cancer free. I was free to expect to enjoy some additional time, perhaps years. I found that I had an opportunity to make a difference. A time to give back.

So, when was the last time I got excited. Well, it appears it was today. And yesterday. And the day before that. It was when I realized I had some time to give and there were so many things I could still contribute to. I had been given some time to make a difference, and I intend to do just that.

It turns out it is easier to get me excited then I thought.

They say that what goes around comes around, and I tend to subscribe to that. Having been around for a few (a little stretch) years, I frequently see things that make me think I have been here before. Things that were happening when I was born are happening again. Maybe with a new wrapper and some technological updates, but still with a familiar ring.

The same can be said within the daily deportment of our lives. We still have multiple levels of wealth (and poverty), and we are all held hostage by the economy. There are foods we couldn’t buy then that we are again having difficulty affording today. I can remember my Mom putting a Thanksgiving turkey on layaway, yup layaway, so that we could have one on the day.

Today, many of those scenarios are playing out again. They have become today’s reality. Maybe not for the same reasons, but reality none the less. However, unlike when I was a youngster, they are not driven by the income of the family. They are instead driven by the escalation of the price..

I, personally, as a single senior, am fortunate to have the financial ability to buy whatever I want, within reason. By that I mean, I thought long and hard before recently replacing my 27 year old roof. My grocery purchases however are not guided by how much my food cost yesterday, instead being based on “is the cost of that steak worth it to me”. “Do I want to continue to buy the name brand, or is the house brand satisfactory”?

I shopped again today, not for major items, but instead for what I call fill in or shelf products. Things like paper towels, crackers, dish washing detergent, aspirin, etc. Toss into the mix a package of hotdogs, a quarter pound of roast beef, and bacon, and suddenly I am staring at a bill over $45. I bought my protein earlier this week along with my weekly supply of vegetables, fruits, milk, cheese, and bakery products. That set me back somewhere north of $100.

The issue here seems to be not the amount of my income, but how far it goes given the escalation of cost. Even Kramer’s groomer has had to raise her prices by $15 per groom to help cover her costs while still trying to stay solvent and making a small profit. I have a neighbor that, until recently, owned a bakery. People don’t need cakes and pies, so raising his prices was not an attractive alternative. He told me that sugar and flour had increased substantially, and chocolate had increased by 49%. That is when he decided to sell.

I have to say that I am saddened, in some respects, to return to the age of my childhood. To see again the issues I grew up with. I listen to all the rhetoric that tells me that I should be happy. Well, I am not.

I am disappointed that we have learned nothing. I am disappointed that we have gone full circle and I am being told that life is good. That by doing the same thing we have been doing that things are going to get better or change. But most of all, I am tired of being an old white man who has lost any value or respect. But, be that as it may, I still have my vote. And so do you. Don’t waste it.

Vote your voice, and support your decision.