we can live forever

ignore this

okroginator — Wed, 27 Jun 2012 14:48:05 GMT

oops random wrote a 2 am fanfiction what is this world coming to.

---

that lonesome road

if I had stopped to listen once or twice
if I had closed my mouth and opened my eyes
if I had cooled my head and warmed my heart
I’d not be on this road tonight

There was a second letter inside his bag. It had slipped out of Pharaoh’s collar while he was in there, and Juudai only found it later that night, while making camp in the shelter of a large red rock. “What’s...?” he had muttered, feeling something unfamiliar graze his fingers as he rummaged around for a pocketknife or something useful. It was a sealed envelope, not just a folded sheet of paper. Juudai sat with his back to the rock, ignoring the sun going down. He wasn’t worried about night falling before he’d made a fire; with Yubel’s help, he could see in the dark just fine.

The writing on the outside was in Roman lettering, and Juudai had to squint by the last reddening rays of the sun to decipher the cursive.

(But in his heart, he already knew who this was from.)

J-U-D-A-I, he mouthed to himself, touching each letter (there was a half-slanted macron added as an afterthought over the U) and tracing it with his finger. Juudai’s name looked alien in someone else’s hand, someone who had way better letter-handwriting than he did. Someone like...

Pharaoh mewled reproachfully, and Juudai realized it was getting chilly and he should get around to making that fire. He hesitated. Then he tucked the envelope back into his bag. “In the morning,” he murmured to himself. He would read it then.

But morning came and it was time to look for water. And night fell and it was a job for the next day. And morning and night came and went again, and again, and again, because it was easier to just trace his finger along the sweeps and curves of his name in that hand and wonder a little. But not for too long. Then it was back to the road, to avoiding calls to his cell about KaibaCorp wanting him for questioning related to the collapse of their skyscraper in Domino City, to pay phones where he’d dial his home phone number and tell his parents he was doing just fine while the cool female operator responded in his ear Please insert one hundred yen to make a call, to cold day-old cans of beans and running his hands discreetly along convenience-store racks to listen for strong spirits inside the booster packs stacked there.

O’Brien called every once in a while, to keep him updated. That was good. They had developed a working understanding, that words were cheap and sentimental feelings even cheaper. Less frequently, Shou would call, and leave messages about the status of the Marufujis’ pro league, and ask when Juudai ever planned to enter. Sometimes Juudai returned those calls, and they would talk for a long time, sometimes to hear each other and sometimes just to keep the silences from stretching and rolling back in.

Asuka left a message once, and only once. Juudai listened to it after a day. There was the sound of a soft intake of breath, and a click.

Through it all, he read, and reread, and reread the note he’d received from his friends, until the paper was so crumpled and the ink so smudged that no one could tell what it said. Only Juudai knew. He had burned the image into his mind.

But the other note, he would simply take out of his bag. He would trace his name, and run his fingers along the edges of the envelope, and curl a nail against the seam without tearing it, and wait. And then he would lose his nerve, and put the note away again.

Why are you doing this to yourself? Yubel finally asked once, in the back of a ferry Juudai had stolen onto to get to a small shore town he’d heard was having some problems with spirits disappearing. He had the note clutched tight against his chest, to keep the salt spray from wetting it. “Doing what?” he’d said, under his breath. Just open it, she’d said, and stop torturing yourself. “Oh, coming from you, that’s rich,” he’d said. She’d bristled at the back of his head. Do you think you can hide things from me? I who share your inmost being, Juudai? she’d snarled. I know what you are afraid of. I know you know what should have been said, and wasn’t.

He shook his head. “I can’t,” he said. “I just—” He looked up to meet the eyes of a nervous-looking woman, halfway across the car docking area. Juudai was suddenly aware of the picture he presented: two days since he’d last tried combing his hair, let alone catching a shower; a once-fat and now-thinning cat stretched across his knees; his hands clenched around a scrap of paper as he muttered to himself and answered questions no one had asked.

He ducked his head and picked his way to a different, less-discoverable location. That was the last time Yubel felt it necessary to bring it up.

---

Eventually, it became a ritual. Look at the letter before going to sleep, wherever and whenever that was. Otherwise, don’t think about it. Otherwise, it didn’t exist.

Juudai fought his fair share of battles. Though the largest threats to the stability of the dueling world had been eliminated while he was at Duel Academy, small-grade trouble popped up now and again; rogue spirits, upstarts who tried to hunt down cards too powerful for them to handle, the occasional stirring of forces Juudai didn’t have names for, because he was learning this as he went, whatever this was. His job. His purpose. His burden.

Juudai loved his friends more than he could ever have articulated. He missed them. It felt like an ache in his chest sometimes, this loneliness, this distance. But he’d learned the hard way what it was to bring pain to the people he loved. So he called every once in a while, or wrote a letter, and pretended that this was something normal. That it was totally normal to speak more with spirits than with people.

---

Finally, there was a duel. An ancient spirit in South America was stirring and some idiot was trying to wake it up. Juudai found him. They fought on a bluff overlooking the sea. He had some kind of dragon deck; Juudai barely remembered, these guys all blended together after a while. But once, when he took damage, a lucky rake of the beast’s claws grazed Juudai’s side, opened a gash near his ribs and tore through half of Juudai’s bag, hanging from its worn strap. He’d almost forgotten the damage to the bag. Once he won the duel, he’d worked on staunching his bleeding and making sure Pharaoh was alright. Then he remembered.

Half his things had broken out, the water canteen was punctured and useless, a bag of food was gone, and it appeared that Juudai had lost the letter for good. Except – he ran his hands around the bag and found a crumpled, torn fragment – the letter had been slashed in half, and it was bunched up where the raking action had driven it up against the canvas of the bag.

Juudai straightened the torn edges and, slowly, numbly, slid out the half of the letter that was left. The one thing keeping his breathing steady was the pain in his ribs.

He saw the remnants of a greeting remarking on the summer weather – it was now the following spring.

He saw an apology that they’d have to go their separate ways for a while.

He saw:

—wanted to tell you I don’t think that
—it’s not your fault. I hope you never
—f you ever wanted a place to stay or a
—and Ruby misses you. Come by before winter and
—han Andersen

Pharaoh rubbed Juudai’s hand. Juudai didn’t notice. He read the lines over and over. Traced Johan’s writing with his hand: his basic, neat foreigner’s kanji, blocky and half again as big as the kana next to them.

Then, in one swift motion, he crumpled the sheet in his hand, and raised it to his face.

Yubel stirred inside his mind. You were afraid of this, she said, softly. Of his forgiveness.

Juudai didn’t answer. He couldn’t have if he had tried. He was too busy erasing those words with the tears he was trying not to let fall, with everything he wanted and knew he couldn’t have. Knew he couldn’t let himself have. Too busy forcing himself not to imagine what he might have done if he’d read it that night, by that sunset, before the night ran in.

A phantom sensation, like arms going around his shoulders.

Oh, Juudai, Yubel said.

It was cruel – to the both of them, because each felt the other’s pain as acutely as their own – but for a second, Juudai let himself pretend that those arms belonged to someone not them, someone who could see spirits, who might have come with them except for someone else’s pride and fear and unwillingness to forgive himself.

For a second, Juudai let himself pretend he had an answer.

two months between posts is a good rate right

okroginator — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 20:06:23 GMT

Things happening now:

- Getting Better about my relationship with Her. This is a good thing.
- Applying for a summer research grant to study Literature and Things. (specifically a media archaeology project on eighteenth-century periodical literature and today's blogging culture)
- Working slowly on original story for my workshop class, run by an actual published poet guy who is very intimidating. Waffling continuously between extreme pride and extreme self-loathing.
- Still trucking in RP. Playing Juudai and now Itachi at Kannagara.
- Naruto continues to break my heart.
- Not much free time for shows and things, but I watched Under the Red Hood for an RP buddy and have been dipping my toes into the ocean of American Comics. Also, trying to find time to watch Mawaru Penguindrum, as well as keep up with Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal (magnificent crack there).

I keep forgetting I have a personal DW. |D

nakuko wa ooago tori ni kuru

okroginator — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 04:46:05 GMT

My new favorite movie is "You Are Umasou."

Because kung fu dinosaurs.

okroginator — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 20:37:24 GMT

Once upon a time, two years ago, Gramma Random promised someone she'd write them a drabble in a Christmas drabble meme. Of course, Gramma Random is full of it, and never wrote it in time for the 2009 season, or even 2010's. However, this year, she finally completed it - except it isn't really a drabble, which is probably why the dang thing took so long.

Without further ado...

"The Night Lelouch Stole Christmas"

Now, the Brits in Britannia loved Christmas a lot
But Lelouch, who lived far east of Britannia, did not
He wanted to send a harsh message to those
Who felt they could plunder and kill as they chose
“Why should they,” said he, “feast upon Christmas goose
“While Elevens are handed this uneven truce?
“The hypocrisy makes my hands clench in rage!”
Lelouch stood dramatically, as if on a stage.
“We must bring an end to all this tyranny!
“We must take a stand against Christmas!” said he.
And so Lelouch put on his cape and black mask
And pondered what means lay near to his grasp—
The means by which Christmas would come to an end.
He grinned to himself—“Why, I’ll just ask my friends!”
So Zero that night gave the Black Knights a job
A task that he promised would bring down the mob
A mission so great, they’d go down in the books
As heroes with steel-coated nerves and good looks.
“My friends!” Zero shouted to make himself heard—
The room then fell silent; no one said a word.
“Britannians tonight must fear our strong arm
“We’ll steal their security and do them great harm.
“We must strike at something they love and hold dear—
“A day that they cherish and wait for all year:
“Yes, Christmas itself is our target tonight!
“My friends, this is our chance to set some things right!
“We’ll strike at their trees first, their tall evergreens
“And remind them that we’re about ends, and not means.
“Now retire to your cabins—tomorrow we strike!”
With that, Zero left them, to plot as he liked.
Now, Kallen would not think quite much of this plan
Except that it came from her miracle man
So despite her misgivings, she mounted her Knightmare
And thought to herself, “Well, it’s not like I care
“A great deal about what the Britannians do.
“If Zero thinks it’s gonna help, then it’s true.”
Meanwhile, at Ashford, a party was brewing
Milly was baking, and cooking, and stewing
All sorts of delicious holiday food
While Shirley did her very best not to brood
On one of her classmates, suspiciously absent.
“Maybe,” she sighed, “ he won’t like my present.
“Maybe I’m doomed to be lonely forever.”
“Lovesickness is easy in cold wintry weather,”
Said Nunnally with an encouraging smile.
“My brother will surely arrive in a while.”
Of course, this came true, save maybe not quite
The way that Nunnally imagined it might.
For right at that moment, a holiday squad
Of Black Knights were creeping across Ashford’s quad.
“Since children will care about Christmas the most,
“A school’s the best target for Yule trees to roast!”
Said Diethard, who didn’t believe in Saint Nick
And felt that it all was just a great trick,
Commercial and cloying and creepy and crass,
So they led the Black Knights on to kick Christmas ass.
Zero their leader was in his best form
Gesturing and shouting as if to keep warm:
“On Kallen! On Ougi, and that guy with blue hair!
“Tamaki, Rakshata –Black Knights everywhere!
“We’ll burn their trees ‘til the smoke scorches the sky,
“Onward! Fight for freedom! Nippon Banzai!”
The soldiers stormed into the high school’s great halls
They blew open doors and scaled the high walls
They seized all the trappings of Chistmas in sight
Green streamers, red stockings and strings of white lights.
They raided the kitchen to see what to take
And Tamaki made off with the Christmas cake.
The students were terrified out of their heads
They didn’t expect to be pulled from their beds
On Christmas Eve by a squad of guerillas
Who looked like they might be quite ruthless killers.
Soon, Ashford School was in great disarray
They feared that no one would come save the day –
But then! – on the rooftop! – a shadowy figure
Leapt down and ran to give chase all the quicker
“Who is that?” “Is it Santa?” The rumors took wing
They didn’t know who would do such a great thing
Zero took notice and barked out an order:
“Capture that Kringle! Back him into a corner!”
But the Black Knights were helpless against his onslaught
He had moves like a ninja, and, well, they did not.
The savior of Christmas could never be halted
With spin-kicks and wall-scaling jumps, he assaulted
Like some kind of insane martial arts wack-oo
Then the kids realized, “Oh, it’s just Suzaku.”

(“But that doesn’t even rhyme!” Rivalz complained loudly. He was immediately hushed and his speaking parts were revoked for the remainder of the poem.)

Despite his best efforts, he was soon outmanned,
Restrained and put with the other students to stand.
Their op’ration successful, the Black Knights all cheered
Though privately, some still felt a bit weird
About disrupting a perfectly fine holiday
But right then, Zero appeared to say:
“Britannians! Behold our Yule wrath, and despair!
“The Black Knights shall push you back e’rywhere!
“Your colonialism’s no match for our zeal!
“Cultural hegemony’s a very big deal,
“So we reject your commercial endeavors!
“Your cookies and fruitcakes and bad Christmas sweaters!
“Now gaze on this pile and cower in fright
“As we set your holiday trappings alight!”
With that, Zero gestured, sweeping and grand
And the Black Knights pulled up, flamethrowers in hand.
They lit up the mountain of trees, wreaths, and ribbons,
Sleigh bells and pinecones and Christmas-y cribbings.
The flames flickered before the faces
Of students, none of which held any traces
Of terror: just sadness and confusion.
They all felt disheartened and disillusioned.
Even Lelouch was starting to think
That this fine plan of his had a chink:
And just when this thought had occurred to the guy,
Suzaku stood up, Zero’s plot to decry:
“Just what do you think that you’ve gained here?
“You’ve burned up some junk, destroyed holiday cheer—
“Yeah, I don’t celebrate Christmas myself,
“But sometimes it’s best to put pride on the shelf,
“To make merry with friends and sing all together
“To brave out this dark gloomy wintery weather.
“That’s the true meaning of this whole season,
“No matter what holiday or for what reason:
“Just once a year, we can pretend it’s okay
“That peace and harmony are here to stay.
“It gives people hope in times of distress:
“So what are you doing by making a mess?
“I thought that you guys defended the weak,
“But all you have done is show off a mean streak.”
Then Suzaku folded his arms in defiance.
“Instead, why don’t we try a Christmas alliance?”
The Black Knights all turned their heads to their boss.
How would he react to this moral loss?
Zero stood there, pond’ring a while
And finally said, “You’re right! This was hostile!
“It isn’t Christmas that hasn’t done right!
“Hypocrisy is our real foe tonight,
“A foe which had grievously led me awry
“Which is why I am sorry—I’d like to retry
“A better course of holiday action.”
He jumped from his Knightmare with great satisfaction.
“Let’s bring out some turkeys and roast them outside,
“And boil up some cocoa on these fires misapplied.
“Black Knights, if you like, you can stay or go
“Be with your families or play in the snow.”
And so, the spirit of Christmas came through
Black Knights and Britannians alike made do
With pine-scented turkey and campfire cocoa
It was a bit awkward at first; even so,
They called Holiday Truce and made themselves merry,
For Milly found eggnog and some cooking sherry.
The students were happy to have a great story
To tell of their dangerous holiday glory:
The year they broke bread with the fearsome Black Knights
Though all was not calm, it all sure was bright.
“I can’t believe Lelouch missed out on this,”
Shirley said unhappily; her chance had been missed
To catch him beneath some flaming mistletoe.
Although, strangely, at that moment, Zero
Managed to drop an uncharred gift
At her feet while dashing (not very swift-
ly) into his Knightmare, a getaway chase.
Knightpolice finally heard that this place
Was harboring Black Knights and unwanted types
So they all had to run or they’d wear prison stripes.
But they heard him exclaim, as the Knightmares drove faster:
“Merry Christmas to all! Except Charles, that bastard!”

Have a great holiday!

The Movement

okroginator — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 17:20:12 GMT

Well, just to let you all know:

okroginator → elementalhero

I've got this set up for cross-posting, so you'll still see me. You might actually see me more than usual, on account of how I basically quit personally LJing to begin with. |D

Love y'all! Friend me on Dreamwidth!

oh hey

okroginator — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 01:51:35 GMT

...Holy shit, I actually logged into this journal.

it's like a time warp to 2009 you guys

okroginator — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 16:37:46 GMT

NARUTO 550.

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.

no i can't.

i just.

I CANNOT.

YOU GUYS.

YOU GUYS.

my life right now:

okroginator — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 06:20:46 GMT

1. slam head against desk.
2. raise head slightly away from desk.
3. repeat steps 1 and 2.

also I let my paid expire so idk why i still have my icons :/a

oh wait.... i think they're not all there so /shrug

it's not like i get any comments on this journal anymore other than bots.

fuck da police

okroginator — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 18:21:22 GMT

I just had a 52-hour work week.

/sleeps forever

In other news, I've apped Juudai at Zodion, because a.) the YGO cast asked me to (;~~~; omg you guys i have friends) and b.) I throw him into a zillion sex memes anyway, I might as well take it up a notch and toss him into a sex game. (Is it terrible that I've written more graphic sex with my TV-Y7 muse than with all my adult/young adult muses combined? Yes, it probably is. B) )

updateish

okroginator — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 16:50:11 GMT

Heading into my second week of work. I'm feeling a lot less MELODRAMATICALLY MISERABLE about it as compared to last year... maybe this means I am Growing Up and such and being less of a Juvenile Drama Queen about - gasp - having a crappy job (which maybe like idk 70% of adults in the world have to deal with, too).

Tumblr, roleplay, and Yu-Gi-Oh have all been keeping me sane. I Skyped with anzila on Friday night and I watched the first episode of 5D's, which was... unironically hilarious. Haven't moved on any farther yet, but LMAO A PINK CHICKEN AND A ROBOT HOBO ARE YOUR BEST CARDS, YUUSEI? REALLY? KIND OF ADORABLE IN A SAD WAY (OR SAD IN AN ADORABLE WAY). Anzy and I also had discussions ranging from The Looming Specter of the Career World to making up wacky headcanon for GX (we have determined that Juudai's one weakness is tennis. It's his kryptonite.) and all was fun.

I might have to Skype more often - it's just that my Skype name is my real name (I originally made it with an eye towards college and RL applications, like my Facebook page, and never expected to use it with my fandom friends) so I might need to make a second one for Internet derpery. I like keeping my RL social networking and my fun internet social networking separate. Maybe one day, the worlds will merge. But that day is not today.

/an update

oh hi

okroginator — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 17:22:53 GMT

I swore I wouldn't, but the economy is a bitch. I'm going back to Offset.

Cons: horrific misery for another summer again.

Pros: money.

I am such a sellout.

shining shimmering splendid

okroginator — Wed, 25 May 2011 16:42:06 GMT

God, if I could just pick up everyone on my flist and drop them into GX fandom, I'd do it in a heartbeat. This show, I swear to god, is just so much fun to be a fan of. It's not even that the plot is stellar (which it isn't), or that the characters are amazing (which THEY ARE); it's just that talking about the wacky plot and the fantastic characters is just. It's just so much fun.

Like, I spent about two hours last night rescreening a couple of episodes from my favorite part of season three, and just raving with one of my plurk/RP/GX fandom buddies about them. There were gifs and screams and squeals. It made me feel a lot better after previously having an emo rant earlier in the evening. I mean, first it was the fact that the voice-acting in the subs is about 117% better than in the dubs, and then it was O'Brien's legendary gaydar, and then it was speculation on the nature of the world-building in season three and beyond, and then it was endless screaming upon finding out that the dub had neglected to mention some of the more horror-inducingly awful deeds that Our Protagonist commits in this season, and then. I just. oh my god you guys. I want to share this fandom with everyone in the world ;~~~~~~~~~;

But I know not everything is everyone else's thing, too, you know? Like, I've tried to get into fandoms that others on my flist will spend posts and posts raving about, and just not been interested, even though I want to be. I know it goes both ways. But still. ;;

Have you guys ever had a fandom like that? Where it isn't very popular, or very well-regarded, but it just grabs you in some way, and you want everyone to know about it the way you do?

i've got soul, but i'm not a soldier

okroginator — Mon, 23 May 2011 23:48:37 GMT

HI GUYS LOOK WHO HAS BEEN A GIANT JERK AND NOT UPDATED THIS THING IN A GOOD LONG TIME 8D

My life right now: Plurk, Tumblr, Pokemon, more Plurk, YGO fandom, RPing, stress, stress, job applications, stress. I have not felt not-stressed for the entirety of my stay at home so far, and most of it is for no legitimate reason. Idk. I'm not happy about it but I don't know what to do. I'm not good at locating the "don't worry/worry" switch in my brain.

I keep telling myself I'll write up a big entry, but then I don't, so maybe writing a smaller one will help. I'm cleaning out my room right now in preparation to swap with my younger sister, I'm waiting on a job app that has been a marvelously huge pain in my ass, and I am in a tear-inducing level of frustration with my body right now. So yeah.

/SURPRISINGLY UNCHEERFUL UPDATE

SORT OF AN UPDATE

okroginator — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 19:09:30 GMT

Man, I have been neglecting this journal. HI GUYS REMEMBER ME?

In addition to constantly being on Plurk, I now have a new timesink to in which to flush the remaining days of my waning youth: I now have a Tumblr, which I mostly made to more efficiently follow the roughly 20 Yu-Gi-Oh! tumblrs that I've been checking manually every day.

So yeah, I've given up pretending that it's a phase, and openly admitted that YGO's my new fandom. Probably be spamming it for a long time, I guess. I don't know how these things happen. :V

DID YOU GUYS SEE THE NEWEST HARRY POTTER TRAILER??? /froths at mouth

In RL: bleeeeaaaaaaaarrrrrgh my life is so boringly boring. Almost got an internship but not quite (don't feel like rehashing the story), so now my summer will probably consist of working at a summer camp and trying to write more original fiction and begin amassing a portfolio. Anything but Offset again.

Finals in one week and then I get to do the summer thing \o/

haven't done this in a long while

okroginator — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 03:28:34 GMT

Naruto recaps!

I'll be honest, this is the first chapter I've gotten off my ass and actually read in months. This zombie war has not been doing it for me.

Page 1:
~KILLERBEE MAKING IRUKA GIVE HIM DAPS ;w; oh man I forgot how much I love Killerbee, seriously

Page 2:
~BROFIIIIIIIIIIST

Page 3:
~KILLERBEE SEES IRUKA IN NARUTO'S HEART ;W;
~naruto noms Iruka's note. MMM DERISHUS

Page 4:
~IRUKA'S WORDS HAVE PROTECTED HIM ;;;;;

Page i lost track and started rushing
~Everybody's fighting Zetsu over a bunch of boring old dudes, mmkay
~Why are they trying so hard to keep Naruto out of the one SAFE PLACE??

Page 9: herp
~OHHHH, the barrier was keeping them IN
~makes more sense

Page 10:
~TEAMWORK

Page 11:
~lmao i like mustache dude. WHY DID THEY TEAM UP, THEY AREN'T ALLOWED ;A;

Page 12:
~Fire Daimyo wants to know why those silly ninja can't just sit down and talk ;;

Page 13:
~oh look, it's Madara after he stopped being funny ;;

Page 14:
~A substitute? Wonder what he meant by that?

Page 15-16:
~OH GOD THAT IS WHAT HE MEANT BY THAT D8

Man, Madara, showing up with a giant golem thing. Troll harder.

Verdict: Mildly interesting because Madara showed up, but I am still just having so much trouble caring anymore. ;;

also

okroginator — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 05:03:57 GMT

The How's My Driving? Meme

Please? ;3;

bored idek

okroginator — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 04:19:36 GMT

Ganked from leskuh:

Name me a character! I will tell you:

* How I FEEEEEL about this character
* All the people I ship romantically with this character
* My non-romantic OTP for this character
* My unpopular opinion about this character
* One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

story of my life

okroginator — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 20:28:49 GMT

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

x_________x

okroginator — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 01:31:26 GMT

my ass is so sick right now

i can't afford this

i have too many things to do

Star Driver

okroginator — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 03:24:49 GMT

I have been speed-watching all the Star Driver that I have neglected to watch, because the SERIES FINALE is tomorrow and I am way behind! I've gotten up to Episode 21, and unfortunately I have to stop because I have to get up super super early tomorrow (urge to murder Bio prof: rising). I am now caught up to Episode 21, meaning I have three left to watch before 25, which I will probably try to watch tomorrow.

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS OH MY GOD YOU GUYS OH MY GOD YOU GUYS THIS SHOW THIS SHOWWWWWWWWWWWW

Small things:
~Canon lesbians? WHAT?
~MULTIPLE CANON LESBIANS? WHAT?
~I feel. So sorry. For all the people who started shipping Takuto/Head early on. Except I'm laughing too hard to feel properly sorry for them.
~How the fuck does Head look so young and fresh when he's a father? He's not that much younger than Ryosuke, and Ryosuke looks like a grizzled middle-aged man!
~Canon polyamory? WHAT?
~Canon bisexuals???? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
~oh my god you guys i will never be able to handle how much I love Watanabe, okay? She is just. nnnnnnnnf so much ladycrush.
~I HAVE COME TO REALLY REALLY LIKE KEITO 8D
~From my Plurk: "THE LESBIANS ARE POSSESSING THE GAY MEN. THE ENTIRE EARTH JUST INVERTED WHAT IS HAPPENING."
~oh my god you guys Wako puts a knife to Takuto's throat because he's possessed by Madoka who is evil and crazy and she's actually genuinely serious about using it and oh my god i love this show ;wwwwwwwwww;
~I WANT TO SEE TAKUTO IN 4TH PHASE NOW NEGL
~you guys, the complexity of this narrative and the themes and relationships it presents in a deceptively predictable pattern is just. I AM SCREAMING WITH HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS SHOW.

hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh

lol u guys

okroginator — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 15:53:26 GMT

So I totally April Fools'd Kannagara last night. It was pretty awesome. B)

Have any of you pranked anyone really well today? Or been pranked?

environment and announcement

okroginator — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 04:59:06 GMT

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS.

This is my cousin. I need you to watch this video and give it a thumbs-up on Youtube - it's for this environmental contest he's in. DO IT. DO IT NOW.

In other news, I closed my old fanfiction account and made a new one. It feels nicer, you know? A cleaner break. There was some horrendous bullshit on the other one, let me tell you.

but my heart, it don't beat

okroginator — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 00:43:09 GMT

Doing this old meme:

1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it’s over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! GX /deal with it.jpg B)

1. Australia, The Shins
Jim→Asuka, Asuka→Juudai

Three days after the world un-unravels, Asuka finds Jim down by the beach.

"I thought crocodiles were freshwater swimmers," she says, sitting down by him on the sand.

Jim is uncharacteristically quiet. "Karen likes the wet, I guess," he finally says. Asuka should take it as a sign, but she can't do this anymore. Can't keep walking around this hole, this gaping trench in her life. Does no one notice it? That's a bad question; of course they do. It's the antithesis of unnoticeable.

"Jim," she says, and he's bracing already, she sees - "Jim, we can't keep doing this. I've tried talking to everyone else," - almost pleading - "Jim, what happened there?"

2. She Had the World, Panic at the Disco
Asuka/Juudai(???)

It's not that he doesn't see it. It's that he doesn't want to see it.

In earlier years, it was just a thing, an abstract kind of idea - Asuka likes you, Sho'd told him once, candidly, during a late-night discussion. When he didn't reply at first, Sho'd backtracked and said well, whatever, who knows, it's not like girls are his forte, like if he'd pressed the issue any further someone would have heard.

It's not that Juudai doesn't like her back. It's just that it's... it's a different thing. It's not the same. Juudai's idea of love at that time was something he'd learned from movies, when you get tongue-tied and silly around someone, and to be honest, the idea of Asuka tongue-tied and silly was absurd. Asuka was Asuka was Asuka. She couldn't be in love, that's crazy. Of all the ideas!

That was then, and now... now it's not right.

3. Light with a Sharpened Edge, The Used
Fubuki

Fubuki had forgotten what the sun looked like, so the first time he'd gotten out of the hospital, he couldn't even see. Even with his eyes clenched shut, they'd streamed with tears.

It was amazing.

Everything was amazing.

Sometimes he wonders how anyone can ever be sad at all, when the world is so huge and bright and right at their fingertips. It took him two days to remember how to play the ukelele, and then he'd kept it to his chest until his fingers started bleeding.

4. Summer (In B), Amber Pacific
Juudai

First summer, Juudai went and got his boating license, figuring that if anything weird happened next year, he'd better be able to get out fast.

Second summer, Juudai had a fight with his mother one night, the worst he could remember. He went to bed shaking and woke up with a familiar scream halfway up his throat, for the first time in years. The fervent apology in the morning was unexpected, to judge by the look on her face.

Third summer, Juudai never went home.

5. Last Night on Earth, Green Day
O'Brien

It's strange, going home after that year. Austin can barely wrap his mind around it sometimes. He'd walked in the door, fully okay, perfectly normal, gripped Daddy's hand, wrapped Mommy in a hug, talked about his year in oblique references and skating generalizations. Then, he'd smelled dinner later that evening and had to lock himself in the bathroom and smother his face in a towel, sobbing uncontrollably. If his parents heard, they didn't know how to address it. He didn't talk about it. He still doesn't.

6. Lost Art, Mere Mortals
Manjoume→Asuka

It kills Manjoume sometimes that Asuka doesn't want to be a pop idol, but then he thinks about having to share her image with thousands of other people, loyal fans, less-loyal detractors, and maybe (horror of horrors and evil of evils!) lunatic men in basements leering over magazine spreads; then he thinks about these things and decides things are a lot better as they are. No one else will know how good she looks in costume.

7. When You Were Young, The Killers
Asuka/Juudai(???)

When Asuka was young, Fubuki always wanted to play knight and princess with her. Whereupon she'd kick him in the shins and run, because she knew that playing knight and princess meant that she'd have to stand in the small hollow they'd found in the middle of the bushes and say, "Help, I'm in a dungeon," while Fubuki got to have all the fun crashing around in the undergrowth slaying giant dragons and poking things with sticks. No thank you.

Asuka decided at a very young age that she'd have nothing to do with knights or heroes.

And so, she thinks, clutching her arms and fighting tears, that's what she's doing now, because she'd forgotten that important lesson. Knights and heroes, they're all the same, forgetting that the people they're trying to save could save themselves just as easily, given the chance. Given the opportunity. Asuka can slay her own imaginary dragons, thanks.

She just never realized how easy it would be, killing something you can't see. And how much it would hurt.

8. Acoustic #3, Goo Goo Dolls
Juudai(/Johan)

Juudai refuses to watch the ship pull out from harbor the day the Branch Academy students leave. He goes out to the east beach instead, and practices holding his breath underwater as long as he can. Practices not hearing anything. Practices not seeing anything. Practices not caring.

It gets easier.

9. The Tip of the Iceberg, Owl City
Juudai/Johan

Johan can speak fluent Norwegian, and it had fascinated Juudai for maybe an entire day. "Fjord," Johan says, trying and failing to keep a straight face. It's Johan's first night in the Osiris Dorms. Sho has a towel on his head, and Kenzan is still showering.

"F... fui-yoru-do," Juudai manages to get out, and Sho bursts out laughing.

"Right," Johan says, with a mischievous gleam in his eye, "you're supposed to pine for them."

10. J.A.R. [Jason Andrew Relva], Green Day
Juudai, Sho, Ryo

Sho looks so sad these days, Juudai doesn't really know how to talk to him sometimes.

"You know," he attempts one day, despite all his better instincts screaming, "you know, I'm sure Ryo's just, uh..."

"He's just gone insane," Sho says, with uncharacteristic fierceness. "That's what he's 'just.' And I'm going to make him realize it."

What's there to say to that? Juudai's not sure he understands it, sometimes; he's never had a brother, or anything like it. So all he can do is support Sho and hope neither of his friends gets hurt.

...Not bad, I guess :/a

Although, for someone who definitely does not ship Asuka/Juudai, I certainly wrote enough of it. (Granted, they were all depressing and unrequited, BUT STILL.)

TO DO in the next month

okroginator — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 16:45:28 GMT

- FUCKING INTERNSHIPS applying this weekend
- check out volunteer shit, too, and look at idealist.org for more
- Paradise Lost essay, ten pages, due April 11th
- Modernity essay (must choose topic!), ten pages, due April 22nd
- Bio project on red-tailed hawk, sources due April 12th, project to be presented in late April
- various exams
- WRITING SAMPLE FOR CREATIVE WRITING LEVEL 2 WORKSHOP!!! /shriek
- figure out housing
- figure out courses for next year
- hide under covers, scream

I'M THE SWAN QUEEEEEN

okroginator — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 16:15:48 GMT

Well, that was the most disappointing spring break ever. No RL friends, no movies I wanted to see (until Limitless came in on Friday, but then I was busy with family and couldn't go /rage), and no downloading all those subbed episodes of GX because the site went down five days before I could get home to my limit-free wireless (/RAGE).

On the plus side, I got to walk my dog four miles every day. And before you think that's my sarcasm talking, no, I actually took her that far on purpose, just to get out of my house. D'|

also, I counted up my GX icons and they outnumber my Star Driver icons. OH FFFUUUU I WAS GONNA CATCH UP ON STAR DRIVER THIS WEEK AND I NEVER DID DAMMIT.

But the week was not without nice things, I suppose, as I did get a lot of sleep and I beat Pokemon White (*o*) and I made a new friend (Welcome to my flist, aphotic!), and I got a haircut. My hair needed it.

...rereading this and wow, my life is boring.