dream : crack themed
Warnings: None!!
Feelings: A generally feeling of wtfery and 'oh god this is too much'.
--
Ryou Misaki's player, Haseo, quietly crossed his arms in Breg Epona, leaning against the wall boredly. A brief flash above his head told him that he had new mail. "Not like I have any quests or missions to do right now.." He sighed.
"Well, I guess I'll log out or my email or something. " Suddenly this appeared on his screen and he clicked on the log-out button.
He skimmed through his desktop until he got to mail.
"Probably something from Atoli or Silabus--..." Haseo mused, and clicked nonchalantly.
And stared at an inbox of 150 unread messages.
"...W-wha?" Was all he could say as he began skimming through some of the subject titles.
Subject: "Discount on Viagra. Have you been feeling discomfort lately?"
Subject: "Haseo!!!111 Marry me plz!!! Kthx.."
(From..Sexygirl111? Who the hell is that? How did she even get my member address?!)
Subject: Stop screaming weird things! Skeith is a weird name for a girlfriend!
(From..the neighbors? I didn't know they played The World..oh damn it all.)
Subject: Haseo you're so sexy, plz date me. Also hi."
(From Haseoluver111..ugh I'm so sick of this fanmail I'll just delete it all.)
Subject: Win a free Boat Ride to Cuba!
(..)
Subject: Discount on sexy new styles!
(..)
Subject: Haseo y are you ignoring me. I sent this five times.
(HaseoEndranceeluver4eva...? Oh god ..)
Subject: Haseo-samaaaaaa do you like Endrance? You'd be so kawaii together.
(....I--I don't even...Is this a virus?!)
Subject: Singles.com, for all your specific needs..
(I-I don't know what to click I'm too scared! )
He frantically clicked away at the messages, not caring what was spam and what wasn't, he could feel his heart drop, sweat trickling at the back of his neck.
The screen showed, "200 new messages" .
He wanted to scream.
Subject: Haseo I <3 YOU!!!!!
Subject: Free puppy!
Subject: :-)
(Wait is this from..Azure Kite? ..)
Subject: Need some love in your life? Subject: Sexy online chat 4 free.
Subject: Haseo I'm such a huge fan--
Subject: Haseo r u single? Atoli and Shino like creepy men.
Subject: Haseo my beloved--
(..Endrance why are you still sending me these?)
Subject:
HASEO----
HASEOHASEOHASEOHASEO--VIAGRAPUPPIESNEWMAIL300UNREAD
SEXTIPSNEWDRUGHASEOMARRYMEPLZKTHXHASEOUR
--
SHUT UP ALREADY!
[Haseo is shooting upright in his bed, arms out as if to push someone. Only to..stare mutely at the wall in front of him. He promptly covers his face with an arm, falling back into the bed.]
No..just no..