Wait, DON’T smash the patriarchy — its pieces are seeds
Recently I’ve become really uncomfortable with the term “smashing the patriarchy.” Not in the comfort-zone-pushing way, but in the misaligned-self-betrayal way. So I’ve stopped using it. Because you know who runs around smashing shit?
The patriarchy. If we look seriously at the situation, I think we find that to “smash” the patriarchy is to recreate it.
How do I teach privilege to my able-bodied, white male children?
My partner and I recently welcomed our miracle twin newborns to the world and we’re thrilled! But also terrified. Somehow we managed to bring two more blond-haired, blue-eyed, males into our rural Midwest society (we are both of primarily European ancestry, but we never expected this!).
We had always planned to teach our children to value diversity and to challenge the system of privilege, but now we’re looking at raising children who are the textbook image of privilege. Help! How can we do parenting right?
How NOT to talk to pregnant women about their body
I’m not sure there is a right answer for how to talk to a pregnant woman about her body, unless you fully understand your own relationship with that woman, or her own relationship with her changing body. In all reality, the worst offenders don’t come from my well-intentioned friends and family. They happen out in the world when I’m least expecting it.
Here’s how not to talk to pregnant women about their bodies…
Why you actually DON’T need to forgive and forget
I hate, hate, hate how our culture mis-attributed the concept of forgiveness. There’s this idea that anger is toxic, and you have to forgive everyone.
How to respond positively to weight loss without shaming other bodies
Does anyone have any advice/thoughts on how to respond when someone talks about losing weight and is seeking validation for it? Previously I would have felt like “You look great!” is an appropriate response and validation for their hard work. But now I feel like that is saying that something was wrong with how they previously looked and shaming fat/bigger bodies, or pre-shaming in the future if they gain the weight back. Is there a good way to respond positively to weight loss?
My husband wants space and I don’t. Are we doomed?
My husband and I have been together for three years and always struggled with the balance of personal space. I don’t need to be alone at all — in fact I hate it. He is the opposite and thinks we should live apart, feels smothered…
How can our relationship survive if he doesn’t want to be around me 90% of the time? Isn’t him wanting to live separately just the first step in ending the relationship? Or is it already over, and I’m refusing to acknowledge it?
Learning from Jerry Seinfeld and Kesha: How to politely decline a hug
I recently watched a video of Jerry Seinfeld rebuffing a potential hug from Kesha with some serious awkwardness. The question is: how does someone who doesn’t want a hug (a totally okay thing for lots of legit health/social/psychological/whatever reasons!) go about politely decline a hug without seeming like a dick who doesn’t know who Kesha is?
Intersectionality and privilege: Dispatches from a body positivist on the frontlines
So, how do you keep online spaces (like Instagram or Facebook) healthy while making minorities and other underrepresented people feel heard and welcome? Let’s talk about how you can be a voice in the body positive community, while being sure to check your own privilege within that particular space…