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ofdensen — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 06:55:03 GMT

★ First Impressions

☆ VISUAL: Pretty average. Around 6'0'', built sturdily but not unusually visibly buff or anything. Physically healthy, let's say. Well-groomed. Straitlaced. Some might say a bit stuffy. Pretty much always has a serious expression on his face. Extremely well-dressed but very understated. Basically if you have an eye for quality, you'll be able to see it.
☆ AURAL: Flat and generally on the nasal side, but occasionally a bit gravelly. Most of his sentences are interspersed with um and uh and ah. Usually speaks quickly, but his voice gets slower/rougher and his sentences come more smoothly when he really means business. Speaks with the blandest General American dialect you've ever heard, but it slips into something slightly more North Midland-y sometimes—especially when he's being really casual.
☆ OLFACTORY: Expensive stuff. Dry-cleaned bespoke suits, leather, ink and paper, fine wood. Perhaps a subtle cologne; you have to be quite close to him to smell it. (Maybe just the faintest hint of blood, but only once in a while.)
☆ DEMEANOUR: Depends on who you are, but he's usually calm, politely distant, and outwardly very patient with rude/demanding/otherwise unpleasant people. Apparently he does have a sense of humor, but it's so dry it's almost hard to tell it's there. Though his posture is sort of stiff on some occasions and so casual as to seem louche on others, he always manages to exude confidence.

★ IC Permissions

☆ PHYSICAL AFFECTION: Sure, but it'll probably confuse him and he's not very good at responding to it.
☆ PHYSICAL VIOLENCE: Absolutely.
☆ RELATIONSHIPS: Sure. Or, well, you can try. He's married to his job. Married to Dethklok, basically. ...It's a complicated relationship.
☆ PSYCHIC & PSIONIC INFORMATION: Er, this is difficult to say for certain. It is possible that a peek into his head will reveal horrors heretofore untold to humankind. Or, y'know, not. Charles has a lot of secrets, though. In fact, they're so secret that even we don't know what they are. At the very least, anyone with psychic sensitivities will be able to tell that Charles Ofdensen is a much, much darker man than he appears to be. As for Charles himself? If Dethklok is in trouble, he will more than likely know about it.
☆ MAGICAL INFORMATION: See above. His existence has been foretold right alongside Dethklok in prophecies/scriptures about the metalocalypse, and this jives with all the crazy shit he apparently knows now. He's been juxtaposed with Salaasjkdgljascia in canon, who is without a doubt a supernatural being, so make of that what you will. He's known to the Tribunal and the scriptures alike as "the dead man," who is destined to usher in the metalocalypse.
☆ MEDICAL INFORMATION: Probably covered in scars that a mild-mannered businessman shouldn't have, unless his lack of them winds up being important. 8| Perhaps lacks perfect eyesight? Possibly dead.
☆ OFFENSIVE SUBJECTS & TRIGGERS: Endangering his boys. Calling Nathan Tonto. :|

★ OOC Permissions

☆ BACKTAGGING: Shore.
☆ THREADHOPPING: Yes, please! Charles is regularly interrupted in canon, so it wouldn't be the same if he wasn't.
☆ FOURTHWALLING: I don't have an issue with it, I suppose!
☆ DO NOT WANT: Mmm, I guess just discuss any major things you want to have happen with me, if they concern him? I'm pretty flexible, I think. :D

☆ ANYTHING ELSE? ♥

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ofdensen — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 04:56:01 GMT

Player Name: Xel
Player LJ: xelias
Email and/or AIM: PM is fine! Otherwise love atroquinine on AIM works too. C:
Timezone: CST
Other Characters: N/A

Character: Charles Foster Ofdensen
Series: Metalocalypse
Deviance: 1

Age: Mid-forties, most likely. But uh, he also hasn't apparently aged a day in the 10-15 years of Dethklok's career while everyone else has, so it's a bit suspect.
Gender: Male
Species: Human(????) But if he is human, he's certainly not a normal one. His exact nature is mysterious, especially since coming back from the dead.

Canon Used: The TV series and supplementary materials, deferring to the series in the event of any contradictions.

Appearance:

↑
right there is where your face goes

Generally speaking, Ofdensen couldn't look plainer. Objectively speaking, he really is quite a handsome man, but yeah, he's plain. Closer inspection will tell you that his suits are exquisitely tailored and unspeakably expensive, but he does very little to make himself remarkable. This is appropriate, once you know a thing or two about him. He's taller than he seems, probably somewhere around 6'0''. It's tough to say exactly what his build is like (though the word "compact" comes to mind) but general consensus is that he's in good shape. There's this bird's-eye shot of him in Dethsources and it goes like, straight from chest to feet. Mmmngh.

HE MAY OR MAY NOT SPORT A SCAR from left temple to cheekbone. The series is hair-rippingly unclear about what's going on there. By that same logic, he SHOULD have a scar on the right side of his chest/back from where an arrow passed through his body, but we can't know for sure. He seems to have a somewhat monochromatic taste in clothing (blacks, whites, grays), but he also clearly favors dark red. I don't know if he's gotten paler too, or if the darker palette shift of his outfit in S3 just makes it seem that way. Either way though, he's pretty fuckin' pasty.

Psychology: At first glance, Charles is so completely normal that it's easy to overlook him when he's surrounded by five personalites so bombastic as Dethklok. As the Dethklok empire's... everything, basically, Charles bears the hefty responsibility of keeping the entire thing afloat, which can be challenging in the face of the many stupid and reckless decisions Dethklok makes when left to their own devices. The face he shows to people depends very much on whom he's dealing with: with the boys, it's usually some combination of stern/irate/exasperated. He nags, he bargains, he tries desperately to reason with them, and all of this is with a pretty miraculous level of patience. He seriously knows how to pick his battles, and it's rare that he actually gets pissed or blustery or puts his foot down on something. When he does, though, it's a little scary. When Charles is REALLY mad? He gets quiet. Sometimes his eye twitches. That's how you really know you done fucked up, son. So while it's hard to really, really annoy him, he has been known to get snappish if pushed too far.

That's Dethklok, anyway. If you're anyone else he might just have you tortured and/or killed. :')

But yeah, he does care about his boys very much, and won't hesitate to destroy anyone who threatens them or his place with them. As soon as the ordeal with Melmord suggests to him that he needs to spend more time with Dethklok, he readily steps up. After knocking a few back, he even starts to become openly physically affectionate toward Nathan (much to Nathan's chagrin, it would seem). It does bother him when the boys take him for granted/forget important things like his birthday, and he's even visibly hurt when Murderface calls him a robot in one moment, but he doesn't let it get to him--because in spite of all that, he loves his job and his boys more than anything.

So while Charles isn't completely made of stone, he does exercise a great deal of emotional restraint. Because he's (arguably) the best-adjusted of the six main guys, he has a tendency to get portrayed as being more emotionally available than he actually is. In reality, Charles's attempts to reach out to the boys have have a history of being very stilted and awkward, and he's only too happy to put in the bare minimum of effort sometimes. Depending on how you want to look at it, he's either very cold or very pragmatic when everyone thinks Pickles is dying; with only a small remark of condolence, he just keeps on pressing that he and Pickles need to get his affairs in order. On catching Skwisgaar in the middle of an emotional breakdown in his dressing room, he all too happily accepts the poor guy's claim that he's just getting high. A verklempt Toki hugs him in the third season finale and he really has no idea what to do with him. And when Nathan is having trouble with women, he approaches him with the offer of lending him "a shoulder to c--uhh, mmm, y-you seem like you're okay. For the record, I tried." And he like, barely finishes his sentence before he's slamming the door and fleeing. It's sad and hilarious all at once.

While he'll always ultimately do whatever's in his power to help Dethklok, it's obvious that he's careful not to overextend himself when he knows it's not a fight worth winning--which is fairly often, because the men of Dethklok are... notoriously harebrained and fickle, to put it nicely. It's Charles who refers to them as "the boys," and his behavior toward them can often take a distinctly paternal tone, despite the fact that he's probably not much older. But uh, he is a hell of a lot smarter, which is why it means so much that he overwhelmingly cedes to Dethklok's wishes--for a different man of his intelligence, it would be SO EASY for him to puppet the lot for his own gains. The times he actually refuses to compromise on an issue are comparatively rare and usually for nothing less than preventing Dethklok from committing financial or political suicide.

The Charles that the rest of the world sees can be different to a surprising degree, a phenomenon that diverges in two opposite directions. To his many business contacts, Charles's demeanor is especially mild, cordial, even charming (unless he's in the mood to Get Shit Done, in which case he's almost comically brusque). We've seen what it looks like when Charles networks: as awkward as he is when it comes to relating to his boys, he maintains a more socially distant brand of sincerity very well with casual acquaintances and is quick to use his many connections to hook desirables up with things like golf at Pebble Beach and five-star dinner reservations. He's perfectly happy to make small talk due to his talent for matching the tenor of whomever he's dealing with at the time; he's the sort of person who makes sure to ask how your wife and kids are doing by name, basically. What little time Charles spends away from Dethklok is apparently spent with a cadre of influential people, such that even his leisure time is, in a way, business as usual. He does seem to be able to relax a little and let himself have fun with those endeavors, however, and it's clear that he enjoys the luxuries of his lifestyle very much.

But oh, god help you if you cross him.

Because, as it happens, there's another side of Charles that Dethklok sees very little of--the Charles that does more to protect their empire than manage their finances and defend them from litigious fans. In addition to being a financial genius, Charles also possesses a brilliant tactical mind; he manages the security for all of Dethklok's shows with all the panache and the resources of a military strategist. In reality, Dethklok's success may be attributed not only to the band's magnetism, but also to the underhanded, unethical, and occasionally downright totalitarian measures that Charles takes to preserve their integrity within the public sphere. With a literal army of Klokateers at his beck and call, Charles has systematically crushed even the most innocent of threats. A young teenager who was observed illegally downloading Dethklok mp3s was visited at his home by a team of Klokateers who gassed his parents into unconsciousness, electrocuted him and stuffed a black bag over his head, and loaded him into an unmarked van to be imprisoned indefinitely in the bowels of Mordhaus. Had he not gotten involved with Edgar Jomfru's escape, it appears certain that he would have died there. When Murderface threatened Dethklok's image by making offensive statements on national television, Charles had the program's participants kidnapped, held in a basement, and forced at gunpoint to read a doctored script that would render Dethklok in a more positive light. When one man refused to comply, he was tortured, mutilated (Charles refers to this as "facial reconstruction surgery"), and "relocated"--i.e., driven into the desert and dumped in the middle of nowhere. But Dethklok apparently knows none of this, as Charles insists that they "don't have to know" all that goes into dealing with such situations. Disturbing enough on its own, yes, but made slightly worse by the realization that it's NOT THE CREEPIEST THING HE'S EVER DONE.

That's a matter of opinion, I suppose, but definitely the most blatantly deceitful of the brutal acts he's committed on Dethklok's behalf is still the ordeal involving Melmord Fjortslorn. The band hired Melmord because they wanted a manager who would relate to them on their level and let them do whatever they wanted. It's certain that Melmord wanted the wealth, fame, and power that comes with the position at the very least, and that was why he attempted to usurp all that from Charles--at most, it's possible that he even intended to use them as his puppets just as I've said Charles doesn't. But no matter what, Melmord's ultimate intentions are left unclear due to Charles's direct intervention. "I've grown quite accustomed to working with Dethklok, and, uh," he tells Melmord privately. Casual, conversational. "You'd probably have to kill me to get them away from me." Note the phrasing there. It isn't "to get me away from them." Rather, it seems that Charles does feel some sense of ownership over the boys--they're his boys, at the end of the day, and no one will stand in the way of that.

So Charles and Melmord do what any sensible businessmen would do and have a swordfight to the death. Charles throws Melmord off the Mordhaus roof and onto the tracks far below, where a train rolls by and completely destroys the body--after which point Nathan mentions that he found a newspaper under his door detailing how Melmord was found to be a pedophile and skipped town. Let me repeat this for emphasis: Charles Ofdensen killed the man that Dethklok had befriended, disposed of his body, and then FABRICATED A NEWS REPORT that would simultaneously defame him and explain his disappearance. After which point he made sure to step in and correct his previous error and be friendlier with the guys. And to this day, Dethklok does not know the truth. From a strictly pragmatic standpoint, he knew that Dethklok would never have it as good as they'd have it with him, so it isn't even an understatement to say that he killed Melmord for their sake. But it's plain that he's also protecting his own interests. His own commitments.

He can be brutal when he wants to be, but like everything else with him, it's in moderation. His loathing of the abrasive Dr. Rockzo is no secret to us; he has repeatedly ordered him to be beaten and tortured for no particular reason other than influencing Toki poorly and being obnoxious. He informs Dethklok as he's having Rockzo tortured that he's just "taking a little nap." All of this comes together to suggest that Charles is particularly secretive about any actions that he takes selfishly. The fact that his private life is almost completely shrouded in mystery would suggest this as well.

But, as stated, Dethklok's welfare comes before any of his own stuff, and in no situation is this more apparent than the attack on Mordhaus at the end of season two. Charles had protected Dethklok from the Assassin twice before this and sustained injuries both times, but this event demonstrated his preparedness to lay down his life for them unequivocally. It was during this time that the Assassin cut his cheek to go along with the severe beating he dealt, leaving a scar there (that, uh, subsequently disappeared from his character design after the season three premiere. We still don't know what's up with that). Charles's fate after this point is yet uncertain. We know that he had himself pronounced dead at the scene and allowed the entire world, Dethklok included, to believe he was gone for nine months. During this stretch, he apparently learned all about the massive conspiracy surrounding Dethklok's ultimate role in the world, citing goings on that are much bigger than they are--but has told them that he'll fill only them in on what he's learned "when the time is right." As of the end of season three, he still hasn't followed through on this. He is apparently using Edgar Jomfru to mine information about the Tribunal's classified Falconback Project, but I'm afraid that's. All we know.

It's also worth noting that Charles is deadly competent in both hand-to-hand and sword combat, and recovers quickly even when surprised. When the Assassin throws him out something like a fifth story window, he lands on his feet with impressive grace. Put it all together--his physical prowess, his genius, his almost superhuman tolerance for bullshit--and you're left wondering whether he even has any practical weaknesses to speak of. Anything that can reliably get the better of him, every time. The answer to this, friends, is alcohol. While he's known to indulge in a glass of good brandy on occasion, it's not usually in his character to drink to excess. For very, very good reason, because a Charles Ofdensen who has let his guard down to that extent is almost embarrassingly loose and scattered.

But this is not, at least, entirely without precedent. Y'see, Ofdensen also provides the voice behind Facebones, Dethklok's wildly manic mascot, and you don't get two personalities more diametrically opposed than Ofdensen and Facebones are. (Usually. Provided the man is sober.) Where Charles is deadpan, reserved, and calm, Facebones is shrill, aggressive, intensely hyperactive. Facebones speaks on Dethklok's behalf when it wouldn't be appropriate or effective enough for Charles to do it himself--Facebones is, after all, decidedly more metal in his presentation.

Since returning to Mordhaus he's by and large been the same old Ofdensen that he always was, but it's worth mentioning that he appears to regard the guys with a lot more warmth than he used to. When they take off for several weeks to rediscover their roots living in poverty as amateur musicians, Charles tracks them down and brings them the kind of luxurious dinner that they're used to, reminding them that they can give him a call if they want to come home. He commits himself to spending a little more palling around time with them (eventually), apologizes to Murderface and Toki for totally owning them in court, and even cracks a couple smiles from time to time.

Other Skills/Abilities: Nigh-limitless money, resources, and power. He also knows his shit, and in Murderface's words, it's a very dangerous weapon to know what you're doing. Dude's praised as a "financial genius" and knows a shitton about things like law, business management, public relations, politics, military strategy, fencing, and close-quarters combat. He's also got OFDENSENSES--the apparently supernatural means by which he can now tell when Dethklok is in trouble. One wonders if that's not what led him to saving their asses from Damien in the first place.

If you believe the S3 DVD scriptures, it's also possible that he's destined to somehow usher in the Metalocalypse. :| So uh. There's that.

Other Weaknesses: Alcohol. No, seriously. This man is so totally embarrassing if you get enough booze in him. There's probably a reason he doesn't get shitfaced very often. He's also extremely awkward with emotion and probably won't know how to respond if you get all woobie on him. And although it could be said that he can probably take most people in a fight, it's just as important to note that he doesn't tend to come out of altercations unscathed by any means. He's skilled, but not invincible (we think).

While not a weakness, per se, he does seem to show some favoritism toward Nathan in particular. He seeks Nathan's opinion somewhat more often than the other guys, which no doubt has plenty to do with the fact that Nathan's the leader, but then he also does things like, uh... laugh along with a comedian's roast of every other Dethklok member and then have him taken out as soon as he turns the heat onto Nathan. Whoops.

Also he miiiiight have daddy issues of some kind, making Nathan basically the only one who doesn't.

History: Oh whoops most of this got covered with the personality stuff. WELL, READ IT AGAIN. 8|

God knows exactly how or when Charles joined forces with Dethklok, but we know he's been with them since they first signed with Crystal Mountain Records. He's also known them long enough at that point to have reminded them repeatedly to try not to punch people during meetings. :| It's been at least ten years since that, but I hesitate to insert a lot of headcanon now for fear of it being contradicted later.

But so we know he's been with Dethklok since the beginning of their career, and he's probably at LEAST half of the reason that the band has achieved the level of greatness that they enjoy now. The other half is owed to Dethklok's own musical talent and charisma and supernatural mojo, of course. But marketing? Very important.

So Charles is just Dethklok's long-suffering, bookish, unthanked, and unnamed manager for a good portion of the first season, until Mordland. Mordland sees him personally leading the Jomfrus off to the slaughter for attempting to blackmail the band, and he even does it with a wee smile. This is our first clue that Charles is perhaps not as unassuming as he appears to be. Which makes sense. Because he's a total badass. Seems he regularly wipes the floor with anyone he does up against in court, which is often, since Dethklok gets sued a lot over grievances that are usually their fault in some fashion.

And so there he is, going on his merry way with the managing and the lawyering and the CFOing and the military strategizing until the Metal Masked Assassin rolls around. MMA threatens Dethklok, Charles stabs him with his own knife and roundhouse-kicks him into the ocean, thereby earning himself an enemy4lyfe. They clash once more when the Revengencers attack St. Necrophagist's, which basically ends in a stalemate. The MMA takes his actual revenge in the S2 finale, when he supposedly beats an arrow'd Charles to death.

Supposedly.

Everything that happens after this point is SO FUCKING CONFUSING and I could just shit with rage. We know Charles just happened to witness Salacia mindfucking Crozier, and apparently it's a big deal that he's still alive/not brainwashed/whatever. We know he survived the beating and instructed a medigear to kill him. (However, during that scene he's also missing his cheek wound when by all rights he SHOULD have it. This drives me batfuck insane with questions and you should feel the same.) Imagery would SUGGEST that he honestly was laid to rest in a casket at some point, but we simply cannot know whether or not he really has been dead these past 9+ months, or if it was some elaborate ruse that we have yet to hear about. But either way, he comes back nine months later looking hotter than ever, just in the nick of time to save Dethklok from themselves/Damien. After that night, and after explaining that he's not at liberty to explain anything, he resumes his life as usual--mysteriously sans scar after his first reappearance. I don't even. Just, uh... apparently now he has a sixth sense for when the boys are in trouble, has epiphanies about random fucking things that wind up saving the entire world and bringing peace to war-torn nations (hello, snowcones), and just generally has things fall into place with almost supernatural convenience.

Oh, and he's got Edgar Jomfru working for him in secret in the basement. And he knows all about the Falconback Project. We don't know a damn thing about the Falconback Project, except that it apparently involves things like orbiting satellites and missiles. Serious shit. Charles knows, and he looks ready.

Canon Point: Just before Rehabklok, eventually progressing to post-Doublebookedklok. They got a show in Mozambique coming up, Pickles is probably drinking a whole shitload (not any more than usual or the rest of the band, but watevs), and yeah.

Reality Description: Imagine a world not unlike our own, but where a single artifact of popular culture influences EVERYTHING. Where a coffee company successfully bankrupts all its rivals and obtains a monopoly on the whole industry just because five dudes in a band endorsed it. Where people regularly commit acts of violence and terrorism worldwide in order to get the attention of said band. Where a bunch of celebrities have built around themselves an empire, capable of recognition as its own global economy, and run not unlike the way a government runs its own state. Dethklok's fame and influence have risen to such a pitch over their years of popularity that they truly have become the most powerful force known to the public.

And they're all a bunch of dumb spoiled assholes who regularly cost the world its lives and money and culture, but the world doesn't really care about that either. Because it's Dethklok. Not everybody loves Dethklok, to be sure, but god help you if you don't watch what you say about them and where you say it. Watch very carefully, because Dethklok's fans and followers have been known to maim and kill in the band's name over even minor slights.

And there's also this shadowy tribunal--THE Tribunal, in fact--who believes Dethklok is the greatest threat to the established world order that anyone's ever known. Not only that, they realize that Dethklok has something to do with an ancient prophecy foretelling an apocalypse of metal. A... metalocalypse, if you will. B) The Tribunal is headed up by one Mr. Salacia/Selatcia/Selacia/Selecia/herpdyderpderp, a man with no clear canon spelling of his name. (Jon Schnepp has been seen using Salacia before, so that's what I stick with even though it totally doesn't look right to me. :|) He's a scary motherfucker capable of all kinds of supernatural horrors and is possibly the Captain Planet to Dethklok's Planeteers. As of the end of season 3, Charles appears to be directly opposing him and his plans. Whatever those are. This vague-ass series, I swear to god.

Dethklok themselves are cloistered safely away in Mordhaus, their home and stronghold. Mordhaus used to be located in Mordland, which for all intents and purposes is its own little country, but currently you'll find Mordhaus floating among the clouds. They can do anything, okay, they have the money. :| Actually, yeah, the implication is essentially that Dethklok's got such limitless resources at their disposal that their own personal science department has been able to develop all kinds of technological advancements that don't exist in the real world. Hover technology, recording on water, etc etc etc. They're still making music up there, and the Dethklok Minute (think Access Hollywood but devoted to a single band) still reports on all their activities, but they have become somewhat more reclusive lately due to their various traumas.

idk. Y'ALL KNOW THIS STUFF ALREADY, RIGHT.

[ if i could write off your murder i'd save all of my receipts ]

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