My story had a big thing in it too.

EPISODE PLAY BY PLAY

ocularis — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 05:48:48 GMT

WHY does this keep happening? These Play by Plays keep going up in length and I don't even know why!
I may need to redo that first one I did. And I probably will when I get to it.

Anyway: This is a Recap for:
Robin Hood Episode Three: Who Shot the Sheriff?
It clocks in at 4,663 words...so have some water besides you lest you get dehydrated.
This is probably my least favourite of the 13 episodes, so yeah. Just fair warning.

Okay. So, we start with Robin talking to some dude about taxes and Robin wants to help them. Cool. Robs is a decent guy. “Buuuuut ROOOOOOBIN. I Can’t take shit from you! Alalalalaaa! And Joderic is on his way or something.” And so, of course Robin’s all “I’ll take care of it! Tell your wife. Okay. I’m totally going. I’m not going to be creepy or anything. Just, I’m going. Okay? Okay! Bye now!”

CUT TO:
Robin staring at the couple he’s just told good news to. Much is there also with the “Okay, job done. Let’s go before we get caught or something. Kay?” Robin is all “Yeah, kay. One sec.” And Much calls him out on having to be loved or wanting to see someone’s face or something. Robin of course denies this but everyone knows it’s true. Even Robin.

SOME GRASSY ROAD PLACE:
Taxman Joderic….Is that even his name? I can’t spell. Anyway: He knows exactly who Robin is and what his deal is and Joderic is just trying to do his job. That and some guards are going to rock up at any moment. Apparently Robin was all fine and dandy with all this tax stuff before with the Old Sheriff. Favouritism anyone?
Sooo, Robin gives Joddy some money and Joderic is all “Nuuu! Stolen monies! Sheriff knows shit, man! …but fine. FINE!” Then Robin is all “Don’t tell anyone I did this…even though I kind of did before…forget that. Don’t tell ‘em.” And Joddy basically says the same thing about Robs that Much did earlier. And Robin is all “NUU! Stop it! I am not vain! I won’t hear it! Dudes! Let’s away!” And of course…all his dudes are there…and then they’re not. Because they just melt away into the forest. Like melting…forest….things.
So, Robin: 100% NOT VAIN thankyouverymuch.

BACK AT THE VILLAGE:
Roy’s got problems with giving money to tax collectors and Robin’s all “Shush you! My Gang. My Rules! Okay? Okay!”
Then: Joddy gets dead. Of course it’s Robin’s fault. Who said anything different? “HOMG! Robin kills people! RUN FROM SIDE TO SIDE!” And Robin get an “Omg” look on his face.

OPENING CREDITS! OMG!! FANFARE!

IN THE BUSHES NEAR THAT TOWN:
Someone is running away…and Robin’s Dudes…Much, Roy and Little John…are all like “!” And Robin is all…”OMG CHASEY! WHEE!” And so he chases after some hooded figure…probably pissed that the hooded look has been stolen. Then he tackles this hooded dude down and they go for a bit of a roll together in the grass. Robin is rewarded with a kick to the crotch (or stomach…but crotch is funnier) then Much is all “OMG DAMAGED GOODS! NO WAI!” Then Robin dies…or something.

CAMP! (No, Not Gay Camp…thanks)
Roy is calling Robin out, saying someone is heaps way better. “Homg Robs! They gud n u jellus!” Then we get some delightful exposition from Will and Roy! Tag teaming a story. Fun. YEY! About The Nightwatchman. The good Man. Who is a Man who delivers goods and Manliness to families in need. He’s been around for YEARS! While you were away Robin, shut up. Although the Nighwatchman has never hurt a fly…why on earth would he start with the killery now? Robin needs to find The Nightwatchman…why? Another man never hurt anyone.
Allan is eating and adds nothing to the conversation. So far in this episode: Five minutes in or so…and Allan has not said ANYTHING! What? Am I being robbed or what. I’m not rich…just so you know.

AT NOTTINGHAM:
Sheriff blames Robby for the killery of a Bailiff. Who the hell wouldn’t if they were locked in a battle of good vee evil? We have a new dude in town…who we’ve never seen before. Anyway. Guy is just there to say some stuff. About Reprisals and such. I assume reprisals are punishing people IN that town because someone died in their town. It is a shit plan. It didn’t work with the tongues in Locksley…I doubt it would work here. Marian gives him lip because it’s a stupid, stupid plan. Guy is a wanker.
BUT: New Guy is giving some PR stuff. Make sure everyone knows Robby killed some dude. Oooh, Sheriff likes this idea. Guy does not. Because Guy is proven to be crap. So Guy gets a bit huffy and is all “but we need 2 do stuff! Cuz I like doing stuff. KILLANDCRUSHANDDESTORYRAAAH!”…although with a lot more leather and a lot more brooding. SO: The Sheriff turns it into a competition between his two lap dogs. Who will win? Action or Words? We shall see!

OUTSIDE:
The Sheriff makes a heartfelt speech about how hardcore awesome Joddy was. Marian and her Daddykins are there…but just until Joddy is buried. “We’ll fake ‘em out with emotions, Kay Maz?” And Marian I all “I do have emotions. Kay Dad? moron” And Daddykins is all “Bzuh?” Then Marian sees someone and wanders off. ‘Hey Random Guard…didn’t your wife get dead or something?” Random Guard is all “Yeah.” “Y u workin’?” Apparently a need for monies doesn’t really enter into Marian’s calculations. And then yey for some Random Guard Angst,
In rocks Robin and his Gang of Dudes…cleverly disguising themselves at the back of the crowd. Much is appalled that the Sheriff should lie and every other member of the Gang of Dudes is all “STFU noob.” Even Robin. Then Much and Roy have one of my favourite exchanges of the episode. Much: “But, he’s making us look like …criminals.” Roy: “You know we are criminals.”
8 minutes have gone by and Allan hasn’t said anything. What is this? I’m being robbed!
The Sheriff blathers on and on about how crap Robin Hood is. Propaganda, yo. Hey…it worked for the communists. There’s some shit about ‘Cowardly crime’ and “We’ll hunt him with dogs” and other bollocks in there.
Robin needs to talk to Marian…so he does the best thing to get her attention. He shoots and arrow at her arse. At her arse! Who wouldn’t be angry at that? Robin doesn’t even seem to notice that it’s probably not a great idea.

DESERTED ALLEYWAY:
“WTF ROBS! U dun get 2 shoot me wif arrow!” Robin is all “Whatev. Let’s talk about me.” And Marian is all “Nuu. Let’s talk about you, me, arrows and butts…what? Oh. I mean…not everything is ‘bout u….idiot.” And Robin is all “Yus is! Especially wen it is!” So Robin is saying all this I didn’t kill ~~my wife!~~ Joddy stuff that damned NightwatchMAN did. And Marian is all “Fuck off. No he didn’t. Because I know the Nightwatchman…and he don’t kill. Okay? Wasn’t him…I better go.” And so Robs and Maz have a lovers tiff about who it was or wasn’t that killed the Jodmeister. So, Robin then recruits Marian to search the Castle for the Nightwatchman. (A second viewing of this episode makes this part a little bit funny.) And Marian is all “I don’t get ordered around, Biatch! I wont do it!” And Robin is all PALEEEEEZE! So Marian caves. She so wants him. OBVIOUS!

10 minutes: Still no talking from Allan. What is going on?

GUY IS PISSY BECAUSE HE DON’T GOT TITLE:
He has a go at the Master at Arms for doing absolutely fuck all. Maybe this Master of Arms has taken advice from Marian’s Dad. Guy then walks off toward the sound of Dogs Barking and Marian comes to bother him about the amount of dogs Guy has collected. Guy’s all “My idea!” rather proudly. Aww, there’s a shot of all the dogs. They’re so cute! (I’m a sucker for dogs. Aww!) Guy has another go at the Master of Arms for being a useless loser. Marian asks to stay at the Castle and Guy is all “No. You can’t, biatch.” And Then Marian gets all pouty and Guy totally falls for it.
“Right…guys with Dogs. Go find Robs. Kay? Wheee! Dogs!”

CAMP:
Everyone is folding stuff and packing away their goods. Then they heard the barking…Little John doesn’t like it. (You know, it was only Little John and Allan left who hadn’t said anything by this point…now it’s only Allan. WHAT?) Then in comes Will, looking rather perturbed. “HMIGAWD GUYEZ! There’s like all these big furry things coming this way! OHMIGAWD!” Apparently no one has a clue what he’s banging on about, because he has to shout “DOGS!” at them. Allan checks it out and sees that there are indeed dogs everywhere. Dogs and Guards. And SO many of them. Robin suggests they split into pairs and meet up later. And so everyone runs away.
The pairs are as follows: Robin and Much, Roy and Little John, Allan and Will. Aww. It’s all so neat and tidy.

RUNNING EVERYWHERE! HOMG DOGS!
Robin throws rabbits around…and it’s like a car chase…except with feet instead of cars. Terribly exciting.

CUT TO: BORE CITY!
The Sheriff is doing paper work. In comes a kid who belongs to the couple who watched Joddy get shot. The Sheriff is a bastard and tells the kid to stand on one leg for an hour because he put the drinks on the wrong side of the table. Jerk head. Well, the kid shirks his punishment by getting dead. Slacker!
The Sheriff freaks out. “Where my guards?” of course, they’re all running about the forest after Robin…Guy told them to go and now the Sheriff hates Guy because all the guards are gone. The Sheriff KNOWS it’s not Robin and now he’s almost gotten dead, he’s intent on finding said killer rather than fucking about with Robin’s good image with the peasants.
…or is he? “Double the dogs…blame Robs for this one too. But you find the real killer. Okay. I’m going. Bye!”

THAT FIRST VILLAGE:
Dead Kid is brought back…his mother is crying. For good reason. Guy looks like a poonce then says some shit about praying and stuff. Then makes it known that Robin will be brought to justice, Okay? Bye!

THE MEETING PLACE:
Happens to be where the Gang of Dudes keep their provisions. We find Will and Allan are the last to arrive. Will doesn’t believe the soldiers found it…Allan doesn’t say anything (15 minutes! This is ridiculous. He looks lovely though. Yes indeed.) Much howls about how their food has been burnt. Yes, that’s what the soldiers did. They burnt all the food. Woe!

NOTTINGHAM:
The Sheriff is pissy about having to be taken everywhere by babysitters. The Master at arms is making all sorts of promises about finding the killar! Now, you want camp? The Master at Arms is the place to find it. He claps at his people! He CLAPS at his people! Also…I’m sure the Sheriff is wearing eye shadow. There is not a lot of masculinity flying about in this scene.
The Sheriff orders more people to be killed and blamed on Robs. What a bastard! But…the deaths have got to be ‘pretty’. What? WHAT? …Remember what I said about camp?

RANDOM SPOT:
Marian is strutting her stuff and smiling at the plebs. Sun is shining, birds are singing. That is until some mug cleaning woman gets shot in the tit. Then there is running about and “How could this have happened?” and Marian gets sent back to her room. Super Sleuthing is hard when you’re confined to one room. But I think Marian is a little suss on the MAA (Master at Arms…I just can’t be arsed typing it out any more)

A couple more people are arrowed. Fun and games all ‘round!

THAT ROOM WHERE ALL THE POLITICS GOES ON:
Guy descends the stairs in a timely fashion and even his leather seems annoyed. “What the hell MAA! You suck! There’s ded going on!” Then MAA gives as good as he gets. “YOU FOWND FUD! DATS ALL! AN U CANT EVEN COOK! U IZ NOT FIT TO WEAR HOMOEROTIC LEATHERS!” Then The Sheriff bitches at them for being women. Burn. He also steals Marian’s “grow up” line. Oh no he d'dnt! And Marian is there too! Double trouble! Why is she even there? She is here to let MAA know that she’s so on to him. The Sheriff realises this and is all “The Eff MAA?” And MAA is all “I dunno. She guesses like a girl.” This is apparently reasonable enough to put the Sheriff’s woes to rest.

FOOTCHASE FOREST:
The Gang of Dudes is running again. But they’ve abandoned the idea of running in Pairs. They’re all completely buggered, as you would be after running for a while. Much is totally hungry and wants some cheese. Roy is all “We could die! And He wants CHEESE!? OMG!” Although you can totally tell that Roy is just voicing everyone’s opinion like he did before.
This swift break is brought to a close by the sound or barking dogs. No one really wants to run any more…but if they don’t want to get dead, then they’ve got to.
Robin totally thinks he can take each and every one of them out with his Mad Arrowing Skillz. He can’t just do nothing when people are dying. But does he not realise by wanting to take on all these dogs, he could get his own Dudes killed? Because they’ll totally stay with him. Totally. You can see they might not want to…but they would all the same. Much talks Robin away from his case of the crazies and Robin realises that even he might not be that hardcore awesome. Good Call Robs. He doesn’t like it…but at least he sees reason.
(20 minutes and not a peep from Allan.)

NETTLESTONE:
All the villagers basically give the Gang of Dudes the hand. Oooh Snap! Robin gets attacked by the Dead Boy’s mother, although Robin had no idea the kid was even dead. He seems genuinely worried about this. After Robin being yelled at and smacked around by Dead Boys Mother there is sort of a melee which Robin’s Gang of Dudes have to get him out of. Then Robin gets all angry about bloody ungrateful peasants and gets a smack in the face for his troubles. Then the Gang of Dudes decide to cut their losses and hightail it out of there. Peasants are Fickle, Robs. You’d do well to remember that.

CAMP:
Robin rants at his Dudes some more. Roy looks totally bored with all Robin's bitching. Much is watching intently. Will is carving something, paying no attention. Allan is also watching Robin’s ranting (saying nothing, can I add?) Little John is Pacing in the background.
Then: OMG! Allan hasn’t had his tongue cut out! At Minute 21 and 30 seconds, Allan finally says something! “We gave Joderic Money for them.” He sounds bummed. Roy joins in with the whole totally bummed thing. “I never really did understand that.” Robin goes on pacing until Will catches his attention. Will has improved the dog tags for the Gang of Dudes that no one can copy. And Robin cheers up a little. Will looks pleased with himself…or pleased that his work had been praised….Will looks pleased, we’ll leave it at that.

NOTTINGHAM:
Marian wants to hang around with Random Guard from earlier. BUT NO! She’s not allowed But Random Guard is all “Shut up, let her over here.”
Random Guard (aka Joe) have a heart to heart about Joe’s dead wife.

FOREST DWELLING!:
The Dudes wander around a little before sitting down. Robin obviously has some sort of plan. Little John is probably Robin’s 2IC (Second in Command) because of the fact he led his own OutlawDudez for a while. Robin tells John to be in charge for a bit and Will is all “Dude, not with the giving yourself in again!” Because really, they can’t piss about all the time getting Robin out of a hanging really. They’ve got stuff to do. Speaking of stuff: Allan’s got some ideas on how to get into the Castle. Allan is apparently their go to guy for that kind of thing. He’s always got some way…and it’s awesome. Another favourite exchange of mine. Allan: “Do you want clever, or really clever?” Robin: “I want fast.” Aww, Robin is no fun at all.

BACK AT NOTTINGHAM:
Marian pretends to have a bow and arrow and I think she’s aiming at the Sheriff’s window(?) And asking if anyone could make a shot like that. Joe is all “TOTALLY! I mean…maybe.” Joe makes a quip about tongues. Hardi-ha.
Joe is totally hip to Marian’s jive and calls her out on loving Robby cakes. Which she totally denies. Joe is all knowledgeable it seems and knows Marian still sees Robby around. “Tell him sum dudez luv him. Not gay though…kay? Okay.”

OUTSIDE NOTTINGHAM TOWN:
Allan probably wasn’t allowed his clever or really clever ideas to get into the castle and had to stick with fast. Via the cunning use of fire, Allan creates a quick distraction for Robin to use his super powers of wall climbery and get into the town. The Guards are mesmerized by the fire…like moths. Job well done, Allan!

THE SHERIFF IS SLEEPING, SHHHH:
But Robin wakes him up. They have a little chat about ~~how much the Sheriff loves Robin~~ how Robin can totally find and catch the dude who is doing all this killing and save the Sheriff’s life. Because Robin is way sick of being chased by dogs. The plan is to set the Sheriff up as bait and Robin’s Dudes will take out the killer because they’re invisible. Robin’s not the only one with super powers apparently.
Why would Robin do such a thing? Because innocent peoples are getting dead. But the Sheriff calls Robin out on his love for being loved. Apparently this is a sensitive point for Robin and he gives the Sheriff one of those tags. Why would you announce to the Sheriff who your dudes are? “Anyone wearing one of these tags is mine.” So whenever the Sheriff now catches one of Robin’s dudes, they can be used to fuck Robin around. (We see this plan in action in Episode Seven “Brothers in Arms”)
Robin then takes some money and leaves….

TO MARIAN’S ROOM:
Some guard just randomly bursts in and Marian is all sleepy and looks kind of naked. The guard apologises and Robin pops out of Marian’s bed with a grin and a wisecrack. Between hitting Marian in the arse with an arrow and jumping in her bed while she’s buck naked…Robin isn’t really winning a lot of points with Marian I’d imagine. Yet for all her talk about “I totally hate you, you fool. And I will not be told by you what to do” she seems to be doing an awful lot of doing what she's told.
She reckons the killer is MAA and Robin is all “wut? Wen wuz he a character?” Then Marian spouts the fruits of her super sleuthing. The Robin gets all “I can change this crap! I shall! Yey!”
Marian, being something of a realist and the queen of double meanings, “Oh, u thnk so do u?”
Then their conversation takes a turn for the serious when Robin gets called out on his invincible attitude and his apparent nonchalance about the shit that’s going down. Apparently Robin resents this because he gets totally serious on Marian’s arse about his Dudes getting hunted and innocent dudes getting effed about and killed and good people being fickle. As I said, Marian is the queen of double meanings. “People still love you.” Aka: ME!
Then Robin leaves after sneaking a kiss on Marian’s cheek and Marian doesn’t look angry. Aww. He’s obviously won back some points.

FOREST ABODE:
“U got Sheriff 2 get rid ov dogs? How u do that?” Roy is curious. With good reason. Robin informs him “We had a Talk” Allan knows this tone, apparently. “You’ve been in bed with the Sheriff? LOLZ!” “NO ALLAN! OMG! GROSS! I just made a deal with him.” ”I’ll bet. Lolz” Little John doesn’t fancy that idea. “NO WAI! No deals with Sheriff!” Oh, you want to keep on running then, Little John? How’s about we go inform the Sheriff to keep those dogs after you then? Good plan?
Robin informs his Dudes of the real plan. To SAVE the Sheriff…Now it’s Allan’s turn to voice the opinions of the group with a rather confused “What?” (it’s adorable, by the way) Much just wants sleep. But noooo. Robin’s got a much better idea! “Another one?” Allan is great when he sounds bummed (but then again, to me Allan is always great.) No one likes Robin’s plans these days. Roy loves to give out those names. Robin was Lavender Boy in episode 2…and now Much is Cheese Boy. Hilarity!
“Kay…so plan is: Let’s give away the only foods we got left…even though we haven’t eaten for days! YAY!”

FOREST OF EXPLANATION OF CRAP IDEAS:
Robin tries to convince his dudes that what they’re doing is a good idea. And my god, hasn’t Robin found some quality Loyal dudes to fill his gang? Most people would be all “Eff this! Outie!” Yet here are all his Dudes, having probably not slept for a good while, definitely not eaten probably for even longer and they’re doing whatever the hell Robin says. Now, that might say more about their being Sheep, but I think it’s admirable loyalty on their behalf. (aravishermione, you know what that spells…right? Hee!)
The idea of the food giving is probably a good one. Give these dudes bribes…and they wont hate us. Much begins ranting about Robin just wants love and the food for these poor plebs will bring that and ranty rant rant. From the look of it, Much’s ranting is kind of amusing. At least to Robin, Allan and Will. Much wants that food, so he says he hates Robin. But Robin knows Much far too well and just laughs away.

NETTLESTONE VILLAGE:
Robin gives the food to these guys, who are still damn suspicious of him and his Dudes. Robin makes a speech about how he’s awesome. Then the Miller, Owen, is all “Whutev. You’re using us! The sheriff will be past later to give us something else.”

OWEN IS SO RIGHT:
The Sheriff and Guy are at Nettestone, a la Robin’s plan of action. Guy is talking up himself and The Sheriff. Although, the offering isn’t quite as good as food, I don’t think. “You get the REMINDER that you are free.” No, they don’t get actual Freedom. They get a reminder. I’d stick with Robin and his Dudes, personally. (Not just because they have more attractive members, kthanks)
Robin’s invisible dudes have taken up a perimeter of the village…but I can see them. Poor work on the invisible front guys. The Sheriff is totally making the rounds of he village wearing a stupid hat.

Then: OMG an arrow is loaded into a bow. And Aimed at the Sheriff…(or maybe just his stupid hat.) But Guy gets in the way. Guy! You’re always IN THE WAY! But when the arrow is finally let go…some random guy gets it in the arm. Woe for him!

So, Mr Arrow Shoot bails…And some scarily masked dude is hanging out in the bushes, just a couple down from Robin. It’s the Nightwatchman! The Nightwatchman sees Mr Arrow Shoot’s escape and goes running after him.

Robin only sees the Nightwatchman and so, his mind automatically jumps to the conclusion that it was totally the Nightwatchman that did it. A foot chases ensues and Robin gets one up on the Nightwatchman this time and starts yelling at the Nightwatchman about “wtf are you doing. What kind of man are you?” Well, apparently NOT a man. Robin is obviously ignore the Nightwatchman’s clearly noticeable knobs. As it turns out, the Nightwatchman is actually the Nightwatchmarian.
WTF? Marian?
In rushes Much, stumbling as usual. “Wtf? Marian?”
Marian is all “Wtf, guys? We don’t got the time! It’s Random Joe! Okay! He’s the one doing all this death!”
What the hell are Robin’s Gang of Dudes doing? Dicking about doing nothing apparently because it’s Robin, Marian and Much who go after Random Joe.

“JOE! Wut r u doin’? this is sooo ‘tarded!” Robin uses the cunning use of Bow-and-arrow-point-at-someone as a negotiation technique. Is this a recognised technique? It seems kind of flimsy to me. Although, Marian seems to think it’s A-OK because she joins in.
Then we get some exposition about why Random Joe is wanting to kill the Sheriff. Because his wife died on the street after all her long service. Okay. Cool.
Why Joderic? Because he’s he one who kicked them out. Okay. Cool.
But why that little boy Matthew? Shitty aim. Not so cool.
What about all those other dudes? …No answer. Shit.

So, Joe just wants to kill the sheriff. Robin can’t let him do that. But Joe does it anyway…so Robin and Marian….true to Robin’s word at least….shoot Joe. It’s like that end scene from Reservoir Dogs…if you’ve seen it you’ll know what I’m talking about. Hey, there was someone called Joe in there too! Oooh!

Anyway: Joe’s just been shot in the arm, but he goes rolling down the hill. He’s all happy because he thinks he’s shot the Sheriff. But NO, The Real Sheriff in forms Joe: “You shot the deputy” Pop Culture inserts anyone?

So, Joe is not so happy. Then he gets stabbinated by Guy, while Robin, Much and Marian look on. Where on EARTH have Robin’s other Dudes gone? Tea break I guess. Or maybe they're just invisible. Super Powers for the win!

Marian feels sorry for Joe, but why did he kill all those random people. Robin’s got it figured out though. Doesn’t he always?

THE SHERIFF’S CART:
Robin pays a visit to the Sheriff wanting to let the Sheriff know that Robin knows that it was The Sheriff who ordered all those randoms killed. (phew. Deep breath needed for that one) The Sheriff tries to deny it and Robin’s all “Dude, come on.” And The Sheriff says “Okay, but if I admit it, you’ll kill me or whatev.” And Robin gets all threatening and says “That’s right. I shall!” The Sheriff then kicks him out of the cart. Good diversionary tactics, I’d say.

My Mum brought up this next point: Robin’s dudes are all waiting for him in the EXACT spot that Robin gets kicked out of the cart. How did they know to be right there at that exact time? Perhaps invisibility is not their only power and they all have premonitions as well.

NOTTINGHAM:
The Guyface is a complete bastard. And he tells the MAA that he’s not the MAA anymore. Because Guyface is totally the MAA now. Okay? Cool. MAA…or rather Now Former MAA (NFMAA) is all “Pssh. Whatva, Guyface. The Sheriff will have to tell me that. Let me brush my horsie so I can trot about gaily…I mean, Happily. Bye!” But Guy, as usual, is all “Nuu.” Then NFMAA is all “I killed for that guy, kay. So you can shut up and go away.” And so Guy, not to be out done is all “Okay then. I can do that too!”And he STABBINATES the NFMAA and the horsie remains only half brushed. No more gay trottery now. Woe.

NETTLSTONE:
Why on earth is it “The Nightwatchman” if knobs are clearly visible and there is daytime running about? Marian explains that she didn’t pick the name…artistic licence did. And Robin is all “Cool. But you don’t do that now. My turf.” And Marian is all “Nuuu. I do it too. You can shut up. Dad let me be taught how to fight.” And Robin is all “O yah? He no u do dis?” Marian is all “Nuu. He thinks I embroider. LAWL. Daddy so silly.” Then Robin is all “Kay. Gotta go!”
Then he gives monies to that crying woman who attacked him earlier and orders Little John to knock down the doors on the Mill. There’s shouts of “God Bless you!” And “YEY ROBIN!” And Probably some tit flashery.
Much and Marian then critique Robin about having to have glory and being loved…both of which are probably true.

THE END.

These are getting too long and crap.
They started well...ended horribly.
Like Pancakes, to steal a line from Mitch Hedburg.
"All exciting at first...but by the end you're fuckin' sick of 'em"
It was fun though. Always is.

EPISODE PLAY BY PLAY

ocularis — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 13:04:00 GMT

All righty.
Play by Play for Episode 2: Sheriff Got Your Tongue?
This is the third of 13...so I've got 10 more to do. Christ. And I really must get into the frame of mind that "longer does not mean better" because this is the worst of the three...not to mention the longest. Fuckity fuck fuck.
I did have fun thought. :D
So, this one clocks in at 3,238 words so I hope you're nice and comfy!

Okay. So, we start with a huge fanfare and riding horses into Locksley on behalf of the Sheriff and Guy. It looks all exciting and such. Cool, yus? Well not for the people of Locksley. Because after the whole shoot down of condemned men in episode one, it seems Robin has put himself in the Sheriff’s bad books. That was apparently some quality rope that Robin dispatched. Okay, so of course Robin’s villagers are going to know exactly where Robin is. Of course, why wouldn’t they? And Ol’ Sheriff wants some informations. He’s been calm as a kitten in a basket about all of this…but Guy? “LOOSEN YOUR TONGUES OR LOSE THEM! OMGHULKSMASH!” Jesus! That’s not helping, Guy face kthx. So, true to their words, Guy and the Sheriff unleash tongue removal time for all! Well, just the smartarse who thought he’d be funny by pretending to bow. Good job, fella. One tongue an hour until someone says where Robin is. Good deal, yo.

OPENING CREDITS! (In the Commentary Lucy Griffiths says this is the most exciting bit. Ha!)

CUT TO:
Apparently, it’s customary for Outlaws to tie people to trees with no clothes on. Well, there isn’t complete nakedness as Robin is allowed to keep his pants and his under shirt, Much is allowed to keep his shorts and his undershirt and Allan is…HOLYSHITNOSHIRT! Allan is allowed to keep his pants, but apparently his shirts are valuable? What? Okay, no complaints from me, no shirt offers some lovely fangirling opportunities. No worries. The Dudes from the end of episode One are just dead guys who steal “Willy Nilly” but they don’t got any ideas what that means. By the way, in case you missed it: Allan is not wearing a shirt. Much is all “Dudes! We’re like all together on the same side and shit.” And the Outlaws who steal clothes are all “Pssh. Whatevs.” And one of them decides a great idea would be to smell these guys. Robin and Much smell lovely. Apparently, they smell like Lavender. Aww. Much thinks it’s a great idea to plead their case by saying it is, in fact, Rose Petals. I’m sure that’s the main point, Much. There is no comment on how Allan smells. But he’s not wearing a shirt…soo, yeah. Fun stuff.
And where is Will in all this? He’s using a tree to cunningly hide himself. Whilst in hiding, he shows Robin his little hatchet (that is NOT a euphemism, kthx), but I don’t think Robin is really into prezzies when he’s tied to a tree. Sniffing Man moves on to Allan (who is shirtless) and begins to search him. Why he didn’t search Robin and Much, I don’t know. Perhaps he’s put off by lovely smells. Allan’s carrying a ha’penny which of course is taken from him. Poor Allan looks dreadfully sad at this. Although, that could also be the lack of shirt. I’m not complaining. Robin proves what a great dude he is by telling John and his pack of Dudes that the horses are theirs...how’s about leaving Allan with at least something? But no. There will be none of that. Allan shall remain both shirtless and ha’pennyless. Although Robin does refer to Allan as “his friend” Awww. Bonding over ~~shirtlessness~~ being tied to trees. Also known in certain circles as “Tree!Porn”
Then…all at once these OutlawDudez leave. Because John whistles at them likes dogs. Sophisticated. (“Ooh. Big words. Scary.”)

Once OutlawDudez have wandered off, Will comes out of the woodwork (lol!) and sets about being the almighty hero by untying Much. Robin has SUPA SPESHUL POWAS of rope get outtery and doesn’t need a hatchet for such triviality. Both Much and Allan are shocked by this. Much is all “The Fuck Robs? Y u not take dem fuckas owt?” Apparently the word “Odds” does not enter into it. One dude, no weapons versus 4 dudes with an abundance of weapons…not quite a good match up. I’m not counting Will because he was way off in the distance and Robin would get his arse handed to him well before Willy boy rocked on into the game.
Anyway, Robin then sets about throwing sticks at his dudes. With the cunning use of sticks, there is going to be a great smackdown.
Because Sticks > Swords. Duh! Much is not dressed for arsekickery.

Allan remains shirtless.

BACK AT LOCKSLEY:
Guy is totally bored and The Sheriff pours out some wine. That’s all I got out of this scene. This is wasting Allan shirtless airtime, guys. Come on! All this time…Allan is being shirtless and I have to listen to shit about wine? Christ!

SOME RANDOMARSE CAMP IN THE FOREST:
OutlawDudez are hanging out by the fire, laughing at Much’s crazy jumper and laughing about silly things that Much said. These guys totally are in love with Much. Then, some sinister birds take flight then: DUN DUN DUN! Robin has SUPA SPESHUL POWAZ of Bow Recovery and has his SUPA SPESHUL bow in hand while his band of Dudes have sticks. (And shirtlessness. Hey, I’d be defeated if I were met with such a sight.)
In a totally, completely, not gay way Robin tells the OutlawDudez to kindly remove their clothing. 100% Not Gay. Thank you. Much looks like Much. Will looks menacing. Allan looks shirtless.

THEN:
OutlawDudez are getting tied up. As I said. 100% Not Gay. John gets free and tries to rush Robin. But Robin is far too well endowed with SUPA SPESHUL POWAS and easily takes this huge dude down and makes him scream. (Again…not a euphemism) Robin totally loves this shit.

AT LOCKLEY:
Some woman is pissy at some guards who are ransacking the place. The guards just lol at her and start making up stupid names for Robin. Guy would apparently like the name “Robin Wood” (bow chicka bow wow) But then again…he might not like it.

HOGTIE IN THE FOREST:
Much is trying to give the OutlawDudez what for, but he just can’t quite string the words together. Aww. Much, you silly. I do note well, that one of the OutlawDudez is shirtless. An eye for an eye, shirt for a shirt in these woods. Then, completely 100% Not Gay strikes again and Robin wants a dance from OutlawDudez. When they refuse, Robin shoots their feet. It’s like the whole cowboy thing…but with arrows. It’s funny to Much and Allan (who now has his clothes back on. As much as I love his clothes…the shirtlessness was a nice touch. Anyway…) I can only assume that Will is doing absolutely fuck all since he’s not shown to be reacting. Then, Robin starts yelling at the OutlawDudez. For some reason, he focuses on the fact that they stole Allan’s Ha’penny rather than ALL THEIR STUFF!
It is at this point we get the central point of the show. When Robin is asked “whatcha gon’ do ‘bout it?” He comes up with the brilliant plan to fuck about with the Sheriff for like 11 and a half more episodes. And don’t I love him for that? Yus. You can tell this, because the music kicks in. Even Much thinks this idea is bucks o’ batshit crazy.
BUT this lovely idea is brought to a close with the introduction of a bajillion other OutlawDudez (who you never, EVER see again. Bzuh?) and so Robin totally surrenders.

(Holyshit. I’m not even 10 minutes in and I’m already at over 1000 words.)

THEN:
Someone whispers to Little John that this upstart punk is The Robin of Locksley, Earl of Huntingdon. Sooo, what does he do? PUNCH FIESTA!

TONGUECUT TOWN:
Another hour has passed and Guy tries to reason with HIS villages. (Now Robin’s an outlaw, the place is Guy’s) Worst. Persuasion techniques. Ever! Shouting “TALK!” is not nessisarily going to make people do so, especially if they don’t know anything. Good job Guy! You rock at this.

Robin lols at the fact that OutlawDudez have brought him back to his home, buuut they’re not just being nice. Oh no. There’s a reward for Robin’s capture as we the viewers know. Little John decides that, as outlaws, it’s a cool idea to turn in other outlaws for cashes. Good plan! (cough)

Let’s cut out some Lady tongue, shall we? Plot Point: let’s make it John’s Woman! Glee! Sooo, John’s woman (whom Will knows since he also is a Locksley resident.) is about to get the ol’ snip snip when Robin is all “DUDEZ, I can totally shoot gud ‘n’ shit. How’s ‘bout it?” and Much is all “He shot at your feet, remember!” How is this a good time to remind them of that? Good job Muchy!
So, John is cool with the idea, ignoring the fact that if Robin totally sucks at shooting shit at a long distance, his wife could cop an arrow to the head, Robin totally takes out the tongue clippers and the world is happy. As good a time as any to run away into the woods and never come back.

But, as we know Robin is made of decency and decides to turn himself in rather than have more people lose their tongues. Cools. No one has any problems with this, except Much since he’s ~~SOOOO IN LOVE~~ Robin’s main dude. But Robin’s all “Shut up, ya pansy. I’m out! Bye!” Then wanders off towards the Sheriff. (Oh, and Guy. But he does so much of nothing that I’m not even counting him.)

Robin has one of my favourite lines this episode: “I wonder. If I tell you where I am, can I claim the 20 pounds?” Guy tells Robin that he is “Guy of Gisborne.” As I said…so much nothing. And again: Robin loves this kind of shit. Robin is then tied to Guy’s horse and lead off towards Nottingham. The OutlawDudez have some new recruits, and everything is cool.

The End.

Apparently, I was wrong.

NOTTINGHAM:
Marian is unimpressed by Guy’s photo opportunity and calls Robin a foo’ yo. That’s all. Nothing more to see.

BACK IN THE FOREST!:
The OutlawDude who stayed behind is all “We get money?” No. No money for you, you lazy tit.
Anyway, he laughs about the title of the episode, but apparently no one else is as gleeful about the whole thing. Not even his own dues. He just got hung out to dry on his joke. Burn dude. Burn.
Much wants to go save Robin. Understandable since they love each other. (in a 100% Not Gay way.) Will wonders how. Also understandable since really: How indeed. Allan is all “No point, anyway.” Then my absolute FAVOURITE exchange ever:
Much: No point? You would be dead if Robin had not…
Allan: That’s true.
Much: You would be dead.
Allan: Mind you, I weren’t s’posed to hang in the first place. That was just a confusion.
Oh, how I adore Allan.
Anyway, Much storms off in a huff after his not allowed to take a horsie and John gets all intimidation factor 10 on wee little Will, demanding to know where Alice lives so he can drag her out into the woods. “Dude, she can’t come out here. She got boobs and also this other thing…” “Whut other thing?” “Oh. Shitz, man. You so behind the times!”

IN THE DUNGEONS!:
Robin smirks at the Jailer and gets punched for his troubles. But then, since Robin loves this shit he laughs about it.

KNIGHTON:
Much wants to enlist the help of Marian and her Daddykins in the quest to save Robin. But, Much has obviously forgotten Daddykin’s shit hot advice from Episode One (not Star Wars...kaythanks). For those of you who have also forgotten, the advice is “Don’t do anything. Even if they are your dudes. Don’t do anything. Just kind of...sit by and do nothing. Kay? Good plan, yus?” Again, Much does not think it is a good plan. Marian thinks Robin is crap at being an outlaw. “But the tongues, woman! The TONGUES!” “Wut tongues is them?” “Just the ones Robin saved by being caught. How’s about you get some facts before being a bitch?” Then Much gives them the ultimate smackdown and says that he hates them. Oooh. Ouch. I’ll bet that hurt.

LOCKSLEY:
Little John bonds with his little devil spawn. For some reason, this kids shits me. He’s a little jerk. He complains that his Mum is “Always tired, always sewing.” Fuck off kid. So, Little John has a little John. Awesome.

THE SHERIFF AND ROBIN HAVE A HEART TO HEART:
Bottom line: The Sheriff loves Robin, Robin loves everyone and the Sheriff is cancer. Robin would rather save some people’s tongues than his own life. Sexy. Then for some reason, Robin does some chin-ups. Hardcore!

CAMP OF THE OUTLAWDUDEZ: (at night, romantic!)
There is a general feeling of lethargy in the camp. There are only 2 of Robin’s dudes left and 3 of the OutlawDudez. Will is having some second thoughts about helping Much and Allan thinks at least a horse should have gone to keep Much company. Will gets a little pissy at Roy. I’m guessing because of guilties. And it’s really the first time you see Will anything but completely neutral. Good on him. He’s got a cause! Glee!
Then in a beautiful piece of…something literary or something…”we don’t go 2 nottinham, kay?” “Hold up…yus we do” Because John heard his woman humming, he’s decided yus we WILL save Robin since he saved my woman’s tongue. French kiss still in play! Hells yeah!

GUY HAS ISSUES:
Guy is sniffing around Marian by visiting her at night. Good plan Guy face. A little earlier and you would have caught Much. Guy feeds Marian some sob story about how crap he is since he’s got no Gisborne to be Guy of. He totally wants some sexy time. Why else would he throw an invittion at Marian to visit him and then show how effin’ sensitive he can be? Marian will have none of it. Clever girl. As we find out in later episodes: Guy’s a fuckin’ sleeze and the worst friend EVER! Then, Marian and Guy have a lovers tiff about Robin being hung without trial. Daddykins comes in, completely crap, and then Guyface leaves. Good job, Daddykins and Guyface. You win today!

MUCH IS KINDA PATHETIC AT DOING STUFF:
He tries to climb the outside wall of the castle with a convenient ladder…and gets trapped up on the ladder with the cunning use of a dog. Great Job! He has great balance apparently since he can fall asleep up a ladder, guarded by dog, and not fall down.
His sleep is awakened by Allan who is completely awesome with dogs. Aww! This is better than him being sans shirt. Allan with Dog.
Little John has a rather ironic name, as I’m sure you’ve guessed and he can totally lift a ladder so people can climb up him and said ladder to get over the wall. How does John then get over the wall? Best not think about it. Don’t want to fall in a plot hole.

MARIAN DISREGARDS HER DAD’S ADVICE:
And comes to get Robin out of prison with the cunning use of lying. Woo! But not before she gives Robin crap about being honourable and getting caught and going to the Holy Lands rather than sexing her up. She totally still loves him though because everyone bloody loves Robin. Robin just laughs at her, because that’s what Robin does. He laughs, because he loves this shit. We hear Marian's catch phrase here too: “Grow Up”
Marian gives Robin something to bash the Jailer’s head in and then run to the east gate. He can totally get away without being seen. But Robin needs to be seen because of all the people who love Robin, Robin loves Robin the most. Although, he still manages to flirt shamelessly with Marian. Now there’s a pro.
This lovely scene is brought to a close with dramatic irony! In crashes Much, proclaiming he, Allan and Will are undetected. IMMEDIATELY we hear: “TOTALLY DETECTED SOME DUDES!” Who would have guessed something like that would happen?

OUT IN THE BREAK OF DAY:
“Let’s get the fuck out of here!” That is an excellent plan. But no. Robin won’t have it. He needs 5 minutes. What for? (Ever heard of a quickie? Hell yeah! Bow chicka bow wow!) Here is where Robin strikes me as somewhat of a cock. He tells his dudes to wait. Allan, being the voice of reason here is all “WTF man?” And then Robin says: “If I’m longer than that, leave without me.” After they busted their arses to get him out? What the hell? So, of course Robin puts all his dudes in harms way because he needs to let the Sheriff know something. Okay. Fine. Whatever. We get a kick arse battle sequence. And do these kids ever know how to use their swords. (NOT a euphemism.)
Robin dashes off with Roy, but not before some confessions of Love are made. Much gets all jealous because Robin totally chose Roy. And then: FULL ON BATTLE WOO!!

IN THE SHERIFF’S BEDROOM:
The Sheriff and Robin have another heart to heart. Basically, Robin doesn’t want anyone hurt because the Sheriff wants to get to him and the Sheriff thinks Robin is a sissy. Robin proves how hardcore he is by TOTALLY KILLING A GUARD! OMGSHOCK! And the Sheriff, who thought Robin was a bit of a pussy now he’s come back from war, gets the shit scared through him. Outside: The battle rages.
Robin totally makes fool out of the Sheriff by making it sound like he’s talking to himself and that he’s sorry for all the bad shit he’s done and blah blah blah. Robin also takes some monies.
The guard is,…wait for it…NOT DEAD! That’s what he needed Roy for! It was Roy, with some metal plate shit under his chainmail. Oh, the ingenuity.

ZIPLINES ARE FUN!:
Little John is batshit crazy strong and can totally hold a rope while someone is sliding down it. Granted, Robin is rather scrawny…but still, that’s nothing to be sneezed at. The battle is over, sealed with a kiss and Robin and his gang of Dudes take off for another whirlwind adventure of Robbing from the Rich and Giving to the Poor. The Sheriff is understandably angry, demonstrating this by whacking someone’s hat off…and Guy is buckets of uselessness, seeing as how he’s not even there.

ROBBING THE RICH TO GIVE TO THE POOR:
Everyone’s families get some shit out of the Riches that have been stolen. And by everyone, I mean that Sniffing Man, Roy and Little John and that’s it. Good job. Sniffing Man has a completely hot wife. Why would he leave her? Christ. Maybe that’s why we never see him again. He saw the light and went back to his woman. Good call. Have a bath, while you’re at it Sniffing man.

LOVE IN DA FOREST:
The newly founded Gang of Dudes is chillin’ by a fire, having a nice old chat. Apparently the dudes from earlier aren’t cool enough to join in. Much has got no one to love and that totally does not bother him. Not at all. So, of course to remedy this: He get the piss taken out of him and everyone ROFLs at him. Even Robin. What a jerk. But, oh it’s all fun and games in the Gang of Dudes.

THE END!

In other news: I need some new icons. I've got 88 or 105 spots filled. Sooo, yeah. I'm going to have to go on the icon hunt soon.

EPISODE PLAY BY PLAY!

ocularis — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 04:51:03 GMT

I had such fun doing the one for Turk Flu, that I decided to do another one for "Will You Tolerate This" which is he very first episode of the season.
This one clocks in at about 2600 words. It's so easy to get carried away with these. But I'm sure I've missed many things out because I haven't watched this episode for quite some time.
Anyways:

Okay. So, we start in picturesque Sherwood Forest with the beautiful green leaves and a beautiful deer. Cue a very fitting addition to this beautiful scene with a Beautiful man with Beautiful blue eyes, dressed in green about to shoot the beautiful deer right in its beautiful eye because you can just tell that this Beautiful man means total business. At least, until the guards rock up and spoil his parade. So this man decides that it’s totally a great idea to try and outrun horses. He does a good job of it, I must say...until he decides to jump into some dead bushes. Then this poor guy is manhandled and he thinks the Law’s an Ass. He also argues that his wife needs the food because she’s preggers and if the kid is to have a chance, there must be food. The head guard retorts that then there’ll be an argument that there is another mouth to feed. No sympathy from this dude at all. Never the less, this attractive “husband” is given two choices: Go to Nottingham, have a trial and lose a hand. Or admit guilt right now and lose a finger. There is some thought, and clearly unhappy, Mr Handsome face gorgeous eyes says “Take the finger.” Sooo, the most attractive man in the entire show so far is manhandled once more and dragged to a log where he decides he kind of wants to keep all his beautiful fingers. Fair enough, they are rather lovely fingers.
One of the guards shows him how to put his fingers, when: ARROWS! OMG! Start hitting the wood all around his fingers. Cue a hooded figure. WHO DAT? “Seems I missed your hand. Let him go before my aim improves.” Badass line. I love it! Aaaanyway, This hooded dude who is mighty awesome with his bow and arrow skills convinces the guards to let the man in strife keep all his lovely body parts with him and wander off to cause more mischief. (Remember that lovely face, it’ll come back later, much to my delight.) How does he do this convincing? The cunning use of string and bushes and a sidekick.

CUT TO:
Much (aka cunningly utilised sidekick) is kind of silly and gives away the whole game. He and Robin (because...hood: Duh!) run away from guards on horses and have infinitely more success than the rather attractive man who tried the exact same get away just five minutes previous. Rather than jumping INTO a bush, they hide Lord of the Rings style under a tree root and use the bushes to cover themselves. Job done! Time for getting back home now, kthx.
Much thinks he could sing. Robin warns death may be in order if such a thing were to occur.

~~WHOREHOUSE~~ SOME HOUSE WITH CLOTH EVERYWHERE!:
Much is against stopping because he wants home. Robin wants to stop because he’s been away for 5 years and he has a lot of sexy time to catch up on. Much is swayed with a pig. Yes, a pig. It’s cooking and Much is always, always hungry and so Robin and Much help dig a ditch. Robin goes in for “a drink” from Sarah, the ~~Whore~~ ~~tits~~ ~~whore~~ daughter of the dude who wants the ditch digging help. Of course, it’s clear that “a drink” to Sarah means “a snog and perhaps some sexing”. Robin is only too happy to obliged with the cunning use of sheets as a hide and seek tool. Low and behold, sheet falls down, Much is terrible at keeping someone’s attention on him and Daddy dearest sees Robin entertaining his lovely daughter. Daddy’s daughter, not Robin’s. AWKWARD!
So, Cue big fight scene with much sword wavery and phallic imagery. Robin decides...with a sword at his throat...that the best course of action would be to kiss Sarah again then backflip off the second story of the ~~whorehouse~~ cloth place. Much and Robin run...of course Much has to carry everything because he’s clearly a pack horse or something.

NIGHT IS COOOOOLD:
And to prove this, there is a tiny fire and you can see Robin and Much’s breath. Much is clearly unhappy with the way things turned out and Robin deals with that in a mature way. I used to do the exact same thing. Heh, a man after my own heart.

FINALLY, LOCKSLEY:
Robin fancies plants. And everyone is scared of strangers…because five years away from the place you rule over clearly puts you well out of people’s thoughts. Come on, you can’t tell who someone is after only FIVE YEARS? Something done fuck up there. Robin moseys on over to the only man who will acknowledge him. One Dan Scarlett. Resident carpenter and now sans hand. He recognises Robin because he’s not a daft fool. Out come Dan’s delightful boys Will and Luke. Luke is all “chck out mah gud bw n arow skllz1!11one! lol” and Robin’s like “Pssh. Take a breath before you shoot, then come talk to me.” Will is chewing grass. So he’s a cow now. Awesome! Robin makes a comment about Dan’s strong wife Jane...which warrants the most comical frown I’ve ever seen on a man. Jane’s deaded. She starved to death so her boys could eat. So...joy all round.

Enter Guy of Gisborne (SIR guy of Gisborne, thankyouverymuch) He kind of looks a little greasy, is dressed all in black leather and looks very, very shifty. You can immediately tell that this is a seriously. Bad. Dude. And Guy’s all “Cha. Whatev. Some dude has been stealing flour so I’m gonna take him with me to Nottingham for some puinshin'. That kay wit you? Pssh, as if I’m really asking” Robin’s all “Hey Guy. So, I’m back. You can go ‘way now. Byes! Oh, and leave that flour kid, kay?” And Guy’s all “Nuu.”

In Robin’s stately home, he’s hugged by the helpers and is informed that he totally needs a bath. Much says “ME TOO GUYZES LOL!” And they’re all “wtf?” So Robin informs them that Much is now a free man and going to be given Bonchurch. “k then. Bath it is. For two.” ”Separate baths plz” And Much takes off towards the bath...only to be informed he is heading for the servant’s quarters. “I knew that!”

Enter Guy of Gisborne once more. He says “War is cool and yay more dead on the other side and we’re winning! Glee! By the way, stop showing me up in front of the plebs.” Except with more pouting and brooding. Robin’s all “I don’t even like death OR killing. So you can just shut up. Kay. Go ‘way, as I said before. I’m so much better than you are and everyone loves me. And you’re too broody. Go ‘way. Thanks.” But then rather foreshadowingly, Guy says “I saw you fight, dude! You were boss” And Robin’s all “WTF? Wen wuz dat?” And Guy is all “I dun remember. BYE!”

MUCH IS HUNGRY/STUPID:
Much is bathing and eating…presumably nekid as a jaybird. In waltzes one of the lady servants, clearly unfazed by nekidity. They talk about war and Much eats rose petals. Silly man. “I knew that!” In comes Robin, also unfazed by nekidity. Jesus, can’t Much just cry in peace? Yus, he was crying. Presumably because war is tough. Robin is clearly unbathed and he just washes his face. “Let’s go see my wench.” And Much is all “But I want eats and sleeps and clean!” And Robin is all “OH YAH! Right, you stay here then. Bye!” But then of course, since Much is totally Robin’s biatch and I’m guessing from the grin on his face, Robin knows this too, Much follows him outside.

OUTSIDE:
Robin gives the order to his servants that everyone from the village is to tuck into the feast that was set up for Robin’s return. See, he’s a pretty decent fellow, this Robin of Locksley. Much is disappointed, because he loves food.

KNIGHTON:
The Old Sheriff don’t want a bar of Robin and he is another one of them ‘out of sight, out of mind’ers like from Locksley. Seriously. Five years isn‘t all that long! It’s not like they had plastic surgery in 1192! Cue Marian, much to Robin’s delight…even though she’s got an arrow pointed at his face. Cutting their losses, Much and Robin clear off. Although, Robin mentions that Marian is still at home and is therefore unmarried. POINTZ!

TIME TO MEET THE SHERIFF:
Robin wastes no time getting to the council of Nobles and Guy does fuck all in this scene except move his head up and down. Seriously, watch for that shit…it’s laughable. The Sheriff is all “You’re lands cool, Robby?” And Robin is all “Nah. Sucks. And you suck. And Guy kinda sucks too. And Taxes suck and all that sucky suck. No taxes plz. And trade is a good idea too. Kay, going home nao. Bai!”

BACK AT LOCKSEY:
Comical Frown Dan, The One Handed Man is all upset about some shit. Turns our Flour Power stealy guy squealed on his buds and turns out it were Luke and Will Scarlet. Shiz, yo.

BACK AT NOTTINGHAM:
“Yo, bring out the dudes from Locksley.” And who should be there, but that rather attractive man from the very start of the episode. Clearly he’s been getting into more mischief. Cheeky devil. He’s yelling that he’s also from Locksley. Clearly though, this is a lie. Robin and Much meet with the three real guys from Locksley who are not lying about where they’re from. It’s Luke, Will and Benedict (who is Flour Power stealy dude) WOEZ! “Fuck you here for?” Robin asks. Will, being the young whippersnapper he is, goes into a whole “Everything sucks and the sheriff sucks and taxes suck and life sucks and all that sucky suck” rant Which clearly wins Robin over because those were his exactly thoughts. Will gets a smack in the face for his troubles. “Fuck did you do, Benny boy?” “Flour. Stole it. Shouldn’t of. I go now?” Robin asks what his punishment is. “Dunno.” The Jailer subtley motions to his neck. Much is outraged. “WTF? HANGING? You’re going to hang these kids with hanging? Hanging? Hey, Benny, you believe this you’re going to get a hanging. You too Luke and Will. Hanging!” The boys in question freak out, of course and Luke is all “u sav us robin, plz? Dad sed u wuld! H8 u 2 fartface1!1!1one” Then my favourite line from the episode comes from the Jailer. “Do you mind? We don’t tell them if it’s the dangle.”

Cue that rather attractive troublemaker who has clearly been yelling that he’s from Locksley. No clue what’s just gone down. “You’re not from Locksley, foo’. Wtf?” is Robin’s response. Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes is all “You saved me once. Just do that again. Kay...cuz I gots a kid now” and Much is all “But your wife was only preggers before...how she hav baby?” and Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes is all “You do know that after preggers comes baby, yus? Coz, my wifey poo...who totally exists kaythanks...just had a baby! Yay me! I’m a Daddy!” And Robin is all “Shit man. You and your lying. I can’t save my own dudes and now you’re fuckin’ going with them.” And then Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes is all “Wtf? Where am I going? Away from here, because that would be awesome.” As Robin and Much leave, Mr Handsome-face, attractive-hands, gorgeous-eyes realises he may have made a mistake. Another favourite line. “I’m not from Locksley. Did I say Locksely? There’s been a mistake here. I’m from Rochdale. Rochdale! That’s why they call me Allan A Dale” and thus, we know his name now. Glee! However, he’s being thrown in with the “Locksley Lot” for a Hangin’...so yeah. O NOEZ!

MARIAN IS A TEASE:
She informed Robin that Daddy Bean wants to see him...after Midnight. Kinks! There is some flirting and Marian remains teaserific.

THE SHERIFF IS A BASTARD:
“Yo’ Robin. You’re overseeing that hanging of your dudes tomoz. That kay?” Robin doesn’t think it is ‘kay’ “Whatevs. You’re doing it anyways. See you then!”

THE OLD SHERIFF IS WEAK:
“Don’t do anything. Even if they are your dudes. Don’t do anything. Just kind of...sit by and do nothing. Kay? Good plan, yus?” Robin thinks he’s a fuckhead and I’m inclined to agree.

HANGING IS FUNZ FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY:
Robin gets spat at, but also mildly comforted by Dan Dan the One Handed Man. “Not your fault. Kay? It just sucks that I used to have a whole family and now I wont. Not that I’m blaming you or anything. I don’t even have a left hand, man! I’d just like to keep my boys. But you know. Whatever.”

Out come the condemned men. Allan is first to come down the stairs and for some reason, he thinks just wandering off would be a good plan of action to get out of hanging. Cute as it is, it doesn’t get him too far. So, Robin reads out each of the men’s names...Allan A Dale is from Locksley now. Yay for having a home? Anyway: Hoods are whacked over heads and there is some guilt playing around. Because if Robin saves these dudes, Much is going to get thrown off the castle or something. Dilemma! (Which we will learn more about in “Parent Hood”) So, Robin decides to take the old Sheriff’s crap advice and do absolutely fuck all. Until crunch time...when his dudes are already swinging! Oh my god. Could you imagine that? Not even a sudden drop…just kind of slowly being lowered until your neck is holding you up. Fuckin’ hell. That’s rough.

Anyway, Robin shows off his totally killer bow skills and slaughters the rope that is dangling his dudes, even going so far as shooting down two at once. That’s Boss, yo. Robin then throws a sword at the guards holding Much, taking them both out with the cunning use of head bashery. Buuuut, then of course there is a guard with an arrow aimed straight at Robin, point blank. But does he shoot? No he don’t because it wouldn’t be much of a show if the Title character got dead in the first episode. Marian comes to aid, ignore her father’s crap advice about doing absolutely fuck all and she throws a hair pin at the guard. The fuck? Yeah, I know. Sharp hair things back then, since it like sticks in the guards arm. Would you put that anywhere near your head? Jesus!

So, Off run the four dudes…where did Luke and Benny go? With Danny Cakes? I don’t know. Probably. Anyway, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse...Robin, Much, Will and Allan run away unchallenged. Then there are more archers, so with the cunning use of horses, the four horsemen ride STRAIGHT AT the archers. Good plan, obviously, since no one gets sticked with arrows. Will looks totally serious about the ordeal, Much looks petrified and Robin and Allan look like they love this kind of shit.

TEH FOREST:
And so begins the adventures of Robin and his gang of Dudes. They celebrate with a fire in the middle of nowhere. Will decides kindling is in order and Much states to obvious. “I’m not getting a lodge at Bonchurch, right? Fuck sticks.” Allan is all cool with the idea. “This is your lodge now, my friend. Sherwood Lodge.” Much is still bitter. “You’re not my friend.” Harsh, Much. Harsh. But Allan doesn’t look fazed in the slightest. Did I mention Allan is very attractive?
All of a Sudden: OMG THE MUSIC! Things have suddenly taken a turn for the dramatic as four dudes appear over the top of the Three remaining Dudes in Robin’s gang. “Excuse me! This is our Forest!”

...”Shit.”

THE END!

Woo! Funs!
Oh, that's more fun than it should be.
Although, I don't think this one was as good as the one for Turk Flu.

And if anyone doesn't believe me about the "Attractive Hands" thing...

I'll probably have a few more handy shots at some point.
Because those hands are beautiful.
And so are his eyes.

...Ooookay, I'm heading to the wrong side of creepy now.

EPISODE PLAY BY PLAY!

ocularis — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 03:48:36 GMT

This is pretty much just from a conversation I have with the delightful aravishermione.
It clocks in at 2500 words, so yeah, time may be short. Ha. I guess I just got carried away.

This is an Episode Play by Play of Episode 5 of Robin Hood, "Turk Flu". One of my favies. Woo!

Okay, so we start with all these scenes of chaos and smokery and stuff and dead peoples. Then Some stupid kid is like “Wtf Dad.” And ‘Dad’ is like “Everyone died in a mine collapse. Including my brother. Woe!” Then along comes Guy of Gisborne, complete with black leather and Guy-liner and he’s all “Get back in the mine plebs! I need me some iron ore.” And then Stupid Kid is like “Dad, tell him you don’t wannoo. Kay?” So ‘Dad’ does exactly that and Guy says “So, you’d rather die up here then?” And Dad is all “Yep.”
Then along comes the Sheriff. And he’s all “WTF Gisborne? Get these plebs down that mine.” The Guy says “but they says they don’t wanno and they’d rather die up here.” Then The Sherrif says “WTF Gisborne? Choices? We don’t do that.” So Guy says “SUPASTAB!” and he stabs ‘Dad’…then the Sheriff tells all the miners that they are now fired and he leaves. Guy says none of them will work, eat or do anything and all these people have to be buried and the miners have to pay for it…even though Guy stabbed that one dude. “Anyone found helping will be hung. Kthxbai!”

CUT TO:
Robin dicking about with the arrows, shooting them at his crew’s fingers and so Much gives him lip about wanting to be in the Archery contest….which Robin denies like a little kid. Cue a shot of Allan’s wonderful hands. And they are wonderful.
Then, cue Will, who has actually done some work and found that a trap the guys set up caught a cart. Then they find out the cart is full of Slaves from The war in the Holy Land. And everyone is disgusted.

THEN:
The Nightwatchman comes to give food stuffs to the Miners and Stupid Kid is like” NUUU! We can’t take that, foo’!” And the Nightwatchman (who we know to be Marian) just rides off. Only to be intercepted by Guy who wants to know where Robin is and then cuts her arm, wanting to get a noise out of her (or him, as guy thinks) then The Nightwatchman delivers the smackdown on Guy and rides away and so Guy fumes.

SO:
Robin and his Merry men get the Slave trader all drunk and shit while they discuss what the hell to do.

THEN:
Marian is bandaging the cut on her arm when her Dad comes and tells her that Guy has come sniffing around. Daddy dear sees the wound and Marian is all “Shut up Dad, it’s just a splinter or something” So, Guy has come to ask Marian to the Archery competition and Marian, still sore from getting an arm slice is like “I’m tired, foo’ Go ‘way” Then Guy’s like, I thought you’d refuse coz your haircut is shitty now so I brought you prezzies.” And then Daddy is all “Marian’s wounded and shit, she can’t go.” Then Guy is all weirded out and like “Wut? Wen?” so Marian is “Yus, wounded. Pride. My hair, it does suck. I guess I’ll go with you then, hey?” Then Guy goes into how he cut the Nightwatchman’s arm…in a show of pride or something, I don’t know why he brought that up. The Daddy looks at Marian like “You whore!” And Marian’s like “See you later Guy face!” And then there is confrontation between Marian and Daddy and Marian’s all “I’ve been helping peeps longer than Robin…but it’s not a competition or anything. I’ve been doing it longer, so I win!”

BACK TO SLAVE CART:
Then Robin tells Will to give the slaves water and Will’s all like “…” because just moments previous, the Slave Trader was telling them that anyone who got close to these guys got sick and died with brains falling out their noses. So Will’s all like “…Why don’t you do it Robin?” And Robin is all “Shut up and do it Will, it’s all just superstition…OMGIDEA!” Then he kisses Will on the cheek and tells Little John to keep giving wine to the slave trader and if he passes out, no worries because Robin has to get a plant from the forest. So Little John is all “No consciousness? COOLS!” And knocks the slave trader out with his stick and then drinks the wine himself with a satisfied grin.

AT THE MINE:
Sheriff and Guy are hanging around waiting for slaves. And Guy says that he’s got some supa awesome archer who will win the competition and if the Sheriff wants to go away now, that would be swell. Then the Sheriff is all “How much ore have you mined today?” Guy is just getting the smackdown all over the place, both physically and verbally.

SLAVE CART:
Robin needs one of his dudes to pose as one of the Slaves and spread the idea that there is such a thing as Turk Flu with the cunning use of a plant root. So Much is all like “I volunteer…Allan” and Allan kind of looks a little happy at that as he sniffs the root that Much has just palmed off onto him. “I eat this do I?” And Robin immediately says “NO! Just chew it.” Remember that…it’s important later. So then they discover one of the Slaves speaks English and Much tells “him” to renounce her god so they can’t be traded. The Slave (Djaq) says “Piss off, foo’. Why don’t you renounce yours?” So Much does…and gets freaked out when Allan taps him on the shoulder. And Djaq grins at him kind of creepily.

SOMEWHRE NEAR THE MINE:
The plan is on the go ahead and Djaq wants to know what the fuck is up. Robin tells “him” that it’s all part of the plan to destroy the mine so more of “his” people won’t be sold to work in the mine. And there is all the “;If you help, we’ll give you the monies and off you go.” So there is an agreement and all the Slaves go off to wash and pray.
Will goes to fetch Djaq and makes a startling discovery. There are boobies involved and Djaq ia all “YOUI SPY ON ME!” and Squeaky Voice!Will is all “No…but…no, I wasn’t” and then he gets smacked in the face with a tree. And it’s very cute.

THE MINE:
The slave trader finally rocks up with the words of comfort from Allan: “If this goes wrong, you WILL die” Then the Sheriff and Guy are all, “You’re late” Slaver: “Went ‘round the back way. Didn’t want to get picked up by outlaws.” Sheriff: “Whatev. Show me the doods.” So all the Salves are unloaded, Allan wearing rather fetching robes, especially over his face, so just his wonderful eyes are showing. Then Djaq gets a smackdown from The Sheriff because she spits at him or something.
Anyway, there is riding off on the behalf of Sheriff and Guy and Stupid Boy makes he return, wanting to kill Gisborne but Robin’s all like “Nuu! We must kill the mine! That’ll destroy them…besides you’ll fuck up our plans and I don’t like fucked up plans…not to mention the safety of one of my dude. So stop it, kay?”
Allan gets manhandled to go to the mine but then he’s all “Don’t wanna!” And the guard is all “You’re English. WTF man?” So Allan’s all “I’m a deserter. But everyone who deserted with me got dead from this Turk Flu thing. *cough cough* Black shit came out of their nose and they were all rotting and gross. I kinda don’t want to end up like that, so please don’t put me down there with them, kay?” He gets shoved into the mine all the same.

ARCHERY COMPETION:
Every man is told to remove their left sleeve so that Guy can see if any of them have the sword wound he inflicted earlier on. None of them do and so the Archery begins.

MINE:
Allan comes out of the mine all “OMG! I think I’m dying” with one of the other Slaves and they go to kill the slave but Allan is all “Nuu! His blood will poison the air. Omg! Kill me because I’m already dying!” Then all this black shit oozes out of his mouth and he collapses on the ground. All the guards get all freaked and run away because it’s totally Turk Flu. Enter Robin and his men, swords drawn and it is now Arse kick O’Clock. The laver tries to run away but Allan miraculously comes back to life and trips him over. In the midst of all this, Allan starts to wonder what exactly is IN his mouth “What is this stuff, it tastes weird.” And Robin says “Never mind that, just don’t swallow it.” So what does Allan do? Yup. Robin then says “I said DON’T swallow it!” Then in kind of a concerned voice tells Allan “You’ll be fine.” If I heard that in the way Robin said it, I’d kind of thing I was fucked.

So then there are pilot fires started and Stupid Boy wants to burn the place down. Robin says “Kay.” Somewhere in here there is mention that Gisborne is wooing…I don’t quite know where. Allan looks all dishevelled and attractive. Then Robin gives the money to the Slaves, job done, let’s go to Nottingham and win that Archery competition, guys. “Aside from Allan’s ingesting of a certain plant root…” “Which will do what to me exactly?” “Everything’s gone according to plan” Then, as they’re walking off into the sunset, Little John falls into the mine. O NOEZ!

ARCHEY:
The Sheriff’s plan is to have either Robin Hood arrested as he does the archery or have Guy’s dude win the Silver arrow so he doesn’t have to give it away to anyone and if that doesn’t happen then it is totally Guy’s fault. Guy looks kind of worried at this.

THE MINE OF PERIL!:
A conversation ensues that Little John is either bleeding to death or suffocating to death. Stupid Boy says “What the fuck guys, let’s burn the mine!” But of course, Robin and his Dudes have problems with this plan of action being as how one of their dudes is IN the mine. Stupid boy gets cross and goes off to kill the target of Guy’s wooing: Marian.
Djaq offers to help because her dad was a Doctor. And Allan is all “My Dad’s a blacksmith, but I don’t make horseshoes…ADUH!” Then Djaq gets pissy but Robin’s all “Kay, whatever. Just help…kay” Sooo, down goes Djaq into the mine and Allan is protesting that what Djaq is planning is Witchcraft…to which Robin gets pissy and tells Alan to throw down the second rope. Allan is making everyone pissy today.

ARCHERING!:
Marian is peeling an apple and Guy is smarming at her about how an apple peel reveals the first letter of the name of the dude a woman will marry. Upon hearing this, Marian gives a metaphorical smackdown on Guy and purposefully makes the peel break. Gy just has no luck. Then along comes Guy’s archer, so Guy pat’s Marian’s arm and discovers she’s bleeding on the left arm…where he cut the Nightwatchman and you can almost see the cogs turning in his head. So, cool as you like, Marian cuts her hand and says “Oh, I cut myself, some of it got on my sleeve.” Which Guy accepts. Bless.
Along comes Slave Trader, who the gang foolishly let go earlier so Robin could get to the archery competition. And The Slave Trader tells the Sheriff and Guy that the Mine is all been taken over by Robin and his Dudes. Fux! So off go the Sheriff and Guy.

MINE o’ PERILS:
Djaq helps out Little John, glee! Just as the Sheriff and all is men arrive. And so everyone takes off, but not before Robin sets alight the mine. “Does anyone smell Burning?” is one of my favourite lines of the episode.
By this time, I think Allan is started to have his brain addled by the root he’s just swallowed as he is kind of staring off into nowhere and smiling, saying that Stupid boy will be disappointed that he missed the fire. Then Djaq says Stupid Boy has gone to kill Gisborne’s woman…which Robin realise is Marin. O SHITZ GUEYZ! We gots to save her! So off rushes Robin, Will and Much leaving Djaq, Little John and Allan behind. Djaq, because she’s not part of the cru…Little John because he’s just fallen in a mine and it kind of bleeding from the head and Allan because…well, you’ll see.

NOTTINGHAM:
Stupid Boy has a bow and an arrow pointed at Marian and she decides it’s toilet time or something and wanders off. Robin, Much and Will are all “OMG, He’s following her!”
Then Marian is walking by herself down a corridor and Stupid Boy, instead of just shooting her, gets her attention and gives her a chance to plead her case. And she does so pretty well. “Don’t let your mother lose the man of her house twice, you stupid boy. Win the damn silver arrow…or shoot some poor, weak, defenceless, unarmed woman. Your call.” Then she turns and sees Robin and after Stupid Boy being such a stupid boy, she tells Robin to make sure Stupid Boy wins the competition.

COWBOY SWITCH:
Armed with a Hood, Robin wins then takes off into the crowd when the Sheriff and Guy arrive but the crowd mobs Robin and when the guards finally get a hole of him, he’s changed into Stupid Boy. And so The Sheriff must concede defeat and give Stupid Boy the silver arrow. Much to his chagrin. It is clearly Guy’s fault.

THE FOREST:
High on the heels of a job well done, Much, Will and Robin return to base camp where Little John is doing just peachy keen. Allan on the other hand is tied to a tree and is either being sick or barking at people. Or both. The root he swallowed (despite many warnings to do just the opposite and NOT swallow it) is clearly not agreeing with him. Robin just laughs and says not to feed Allan, or give him water and everything’ll be cool.
Much starts up the foods but Robin says he remembers Much saying that he vowed to fast if they ever got out of the whole situation. Much argues that they don’t know it was God that saved them and then he goes to eat. Cue Djaq taking up the Dude’s favourite past time of fucking with Much by using her SUPASPECIAL powers of awesome and using a mirror or a lens or something to light Much’s fire. Much takes this as a sign from God that he is suppose to fast. But then Djaq throws rabbits at him and he gets all confused.
Robin calls Djaq out and Djaq decides that she is totally joining them. And then Will’s like “Nuu, not safe…coz you got bewbs. And I saw them. And it was awesome.” So then, no on has any issues with ~~bewbs~~ Djaq joining their band of Dudes…except maybe Allan who makes a weird sort of barking noise…but we find out later he has no issues with ~~bewbs~~ Djaq joining them. So she does.

THE END.

There are many problems with the way things occur, but I can’t remember the exact order in which things occur. And obviously, most of the lines aren’t exact quotations. There's many spelling mistakes and probably a few dropped letters as well. Heh.

EASTERS! OMG!

ocularis — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 22:07:48 GMT

HAPPY EASTER YOUSE GUYS!

"Help. I need somebody. Help. Not just Anybody"

ocularis — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 12:52:34 GMT

Finally a proper use for this poll option.

Okay. I've decided I need a Hot Fuzz icon. Namely of The Andys. Because, those two kill me. And they are both badass. SO! I couldn't be arsed hunting for one, so I made a few myself.
This is where you guys come in. Help me pick from this bucket of turn which one looks the best. I know they suck...but if you want to make me one, by all means do!

I've already got one icon of the two of them (currently displayed) BUT I want another one! Wheee!

but for the time being: VOTE! Tell your friends to vote! This entry is Public.
I just need the helpsies!

Ta muchly!

View Poll: Help me pick an icon!!

Remember: If you want to make one for me yourself...please do!

...this is also something of a GIP.
Seeing as how I got Firefly last week...and I quite enjoy the "Big Damn Heroes" line...even though these two aren't really Big Damn Heroes...it looks cool.
Whee!

HOT FUZZ!

"Icons of Self Indulgence"

ocularis — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 08:10:52 GMT

I need icons.
I mean...NEED THEM!
And I'm too shity house to mke them myself.

Problem is, I don't HAVE ENOUGH SPACE for all the icons I want!
NUUUUG!

Here's some things I want icons of...
(Characters in Brackets what I want most of...Exclaimation marks are priorities)
Full Metal Jacket (Animal Mother!)
28 Days Later (Clifton!, Major West, Jim, Mark, Selena)
Arrested Development. (GOB!, any others)
The Prince & Me (Eddie!)
Scrubs (Doug, The Todd, Janitor)
Dawn of the Dead - Remake (CJ, Steve)
Blade Trilogy (Snowman, Blade, Hannibal King!, Abigail, Reinhardt, Chuppa)
Th13teen Ghosts (Dennis!, The Torn Prince)
Numb3rs (Don!, Charlie, Megan/Larry)
Supernatural (Dean!, Sam)
Shaun of the Dead (Pete!, Shaun, Ed)
Harry Potter (Cedric Diggory!, Oliver Wood!)
Black Books (Fran, Bernard, Manny)
Saw Trilogy (Jeff! Adam! Lawrence, Jigsaw, Amanda(Saw 2 Amanda, plz))
Saving Private Ryan (Wade!, Mellish, Jackson, Reiben)
Pirates of the Caribbean 1 and 2 (Norrington! (Commodore!), Jack, Beckett)
Fight Club (Narrator, Tyler, Marla!)
Braveheart (Robert The Bruce!, Hamish, Steven)
Equilibrium (Preston, DuPont!, The puppy)
Reservoir Dogs (Mr Blonde!, Mr Pink!)
Pulp Fiction (All Characters)
Lost (Sun!, Jin!, Boone!, any others)
Miracles (Alva!, Paul, Evelyn)
Dane Cook!
Red vs Blue!
Family Guy (All Characters)
How I met your Mother (Barney! Marshal! Ted, Lily!, Marshal/Lily!)

If anyone can point me in the direction of some of these things, I'd be SO happy!
*puppy dog eyes*
PLEEEEEEEEEASE?

Also, there is this:

Top Commenters on ocularis's LiveJournal
(Self and anonymous comments excluded from rankings)

1	daft_likejack	190
2	aravishermione	176
3	renzer	93
4	the_tea_zombie	72
5	girlonthedock	67
6	san	58
7	how_common	50
8	lalaurenisme	47
9	snlfishie25	46
10	clez	41
11	yathtallar	39
12	hipthrust	32
13	sabbath_darius	26
14	defaultlyric	24
15	her_perviness	18
16	limeybean	17
17	moopmoop	17
18	runaway_fawn	14
19	darkspectre	12
20	letsgetinfected	10
21	star_lake2002	10
22	talissarocsham	8
23	tiggerratty	8
24	__copernicus	7
25	allyxwithlove	6
26	frabjously	6
27	the_kaizer	6
28	kinnoryuu82	5
29	ruisenora	5
30	xobeeuteaful	4
31	errrrca	4
32	methehobbit	4
33	deejay	3
34	wethis	2
35	spookygal	2
36	insomnia_zombie	2
37	hocuspokus	2
38	5oio2	2
39	aliphaunt	2
40	sabbrielle	1
41	tanhuan	1
42	danssugrbaby	1
43	atrociously	1
44	entersandman	1
45	emotivating	1
46	seventeencore	1
47	icanspeakwhale	1
48	x__abby__x	1
49	dirtylittlekiss	1
50	elyim	1
51	sm_malfoys	1
52	lalunia	1
53	ohdramatize	1
54	sezy_jane	1
55	ungratefulwench	1
56	well_wicked	1

Total Commenters: 58 (2 not shown)
Total Comments: 2028
Report generated 1/03/2007 7:18:36 PM by scrapdog's LJ Comment Stats Wizard 1.7

"Go baby, Go go"

ocularis — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 03:29:29 GMT

2006 is Review:

January: HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!
February: Well, I'm actually leaving the house day. *OMG WTF?*
March: Yo. I know it's been like ages since my last post...but I've been busy as all get out
April: Well, well, well. Look who it is. Miss "I'm too busy to update my livejournal"
May: I GOT A CREDIT CARD! That is all.
June: Holy shitz guyzorz! It's been too long! Really, far, far too long.
July: Holy shit. I've just used up all my icons space.
August: HELLO BEANS! Long time no talky. Been busy. Last time I posted, I was drunk.
September: RIP Steve Irwin.
October: *ahem* Will Arnett has been added to "The Line Up" .
November: I'm listening to Retaliation....Dane Cook....man. IT IS SO FUCKIN' FUNNY!!
December: (Voice post) Um, huh. What is it? Kay! Yes! Hello!

So basically, I was away a lot last year. That’s basically it.
HONK!

...I am SO BORED!
SO BORED!!
Someone talk to meeee on AIM or something.
PALEEEEEEZE!!

Gosh darnit.
Bored.
Bored.
bored.
bored.
nored.
cord.

...What?

ocularis — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 06:14:46 GMT

RIP Peter Brock.

...

ocularis — Mon, 04 Sep 2006 09:19:54 GMT

RIP Steve Irwin.

Woe.

ocularis — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 11:58:14 GMT

ON HIATUS

Alright, I know I've been away for a good long time, but now it's offically official. I'm not going to be posting for a good long while due to work and school commitments.
Apologies.

Not that I'm ll that interesting anyway

"I've got a bad case of loving you"

ocularis — Tue, 04 Jul 2006 04:05:56 GMT

This is just a little note to say that Jensen Ackles has been added to my Line Up, bringing the count back up to 10.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. ~~This is not my Batman glass~~

Just for f-list spam sake...

ocularis — Sun, 21 May 2006 00:08:47 GMT

Bow chicka bow wow.

ocularis — Mon, 15 May 2006 06:30:27 GMT

SOCRATES!

"And I said 'What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?'"

ocularis — Sun, 09 Apr 2006 00:27:39 GMT

She said 'I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it'
And I said 'Well, that's the one thing we've got'

You say we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

Friends Only

ocularis — Sat, 01 Jan 2005 17:00:54 GMT

Comment here to be added to the list.

OK! New Rules. If you want me to add you, I'm going to want to know how you found me and a couple interests of yours. This is because I don't want to forget who you are!

Here, for you, is a COLOURBAR!

ocularis — Thu, 30 Dec 2004 04:03:53 GMT

Colour bars are love!

In small and Large!

Hannibal King is Love

Hannibal King is Love

Colour Bar #2

ocularis — Fri, 30 Jul 2004 21:34:59 GMT

Ryan Reynolds is ~~teh sex~~ Love

Saving Private Ryan Is LOVE!

ocularis — Fri, 04 Jun 2004 20:17:22 GMT

I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon and create a SPR is Love Banner for the fans of this wonderful movie.

I don't expect many people to find it...but it's here...For the taking!

If you'd like it...please comment so I know where the SPR love is going! Joyce!

Saving Private Ryan is Love

and the smaller one:

Saving Private Ryan is Love