Lucas Alexander Jackson

musesandlyrics | 5.1. H.G. Wells quote

2010-01-14T07:50:18Z

5.1. "Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
H. G. Wells

Co-written with doesntwaltz & tacticalmind

It was a weeknight, so The Bondi wasn't very busy except for a steady trickle of musicians coming into jam with others, and a few people having some casual drinks after work. Luke was up in New York for a few days to get the paperwork done, so while he wasn't technically working, he was there behind the bar because he couldn't help himself. Leila technically was on shift, but she didn't actually need to be there because there was plenty of staff to cover the patrons. She had come, though, and brought Rob along with her, mostly so she could catch up with Luke for a little while. After chatting on and off about their Part Three's issues with not getting any newlywed sex, Luke paused in his polishing of a tray of glasses and pointed with one to Rob who had struck up a conversation with a small bunch of sailors at one of the booths across the bar.

"Should I be worried about the quality of my booze? I've offered him freebies all night and he keeps sticking to orange juice. Saving his mojo to pound you into the mattress later?" he asked in amusement, shaking his small towel out and putting the clean glass into the tray. "You know what they say, a guy's cock stops working properly when he's pissed."

"Is that what say?" Leila asked as she smirked at him. "I could have sworn it was more like a guy's cock doesn't get a chance to start working once he's passed out. You experienced some issues with the wife?" She leaned on the bar, and watched Rob. Her expression shifted as her eyebrows drew together. "He went out on the piss with Mike. Needed to get hammered after his appointment with some blokes on the base. The ones that decide if he's fit enough to go back to duty, or not."

Luke watched the military posse for a few moments and then shot Leila a wry look. "Bad news, then? I mean, don't get me wrong, he's looking better than he has since you brought him back, but I got a feeling he was a little off his game. Still friendly enough, though. He doesn't seem to have any trouble striking up a conversation. How have things been going for you since he got back?" He watched the scene for a few more moments and then smirked at Leila. "I think there's a chick asking him to dance."

Leila shrugged a shoulder as she pulled her mouth to the side before lifting her glasses to rub tiredly at her eyes. "It wasn't the greatest, but I have yet to needle much information out of him. Mike just said that he's got to wait about six months, and they offered him a training position. Apparently that's military speak for 'we think you're fucked, here's a desk job'. He wouldn't see combat again. He will be feeling like he's let himself, his country, and everyone else down." Leila sighed. "Can't blame him for wanting to get drunk. He really was pissed as a fucking skunk, though. I even got dirty voicemails, and texts. Mike thought I'd want his testicles as payment for getting Rob drunk." Leila had been laughing a little, but it stopped as she straightened up, eyes fixing on the chick talking to Rob as she watched. "That better be all she's asking him."

Luke nodded. "Fuck, yeah. That's some friggen huge cross to bear. What, does he just feel like he's turfed out now, used goods? Doesn't it even matter that he was hurt doing what he does? Isn't he a Sergeant now? What the fuck does a desk job mean in Sergeant realms? But then, he'd stay in the country then, wouldn't he? You wouldn't have to worry about him getting sent away or blown up again. Is he really that fucked up?" He smirked, though, raising an eyebrow at her. "How dirty? If he made sense, I'm as jealous as all fuck of him. Every time I try it, it looks like I'm speaking in tongues. How much do you want to kill her right now?" The woman was leaning on the table in front of Rob, clearly trying to give him a view right down her top. Rob held his left hand up, indicating his wedding ring and then pointed in the direction of the bar with a laugh. Still, the woman wasn't that deterred.

"Yeah, pretty much. He feels like he's worth shit now. At least, that's what Mike got out of his drunken ramblings. I don't think it much matters that he got hurt right now. He's just feeling like he's been dumped out with the trash." Leila gave a small shake of her head. "I don't know. Training other soldiers to do what he can? Yeah, he'd stay. And no, I wouldn't... for six months at least. They seem to think he is, and Mike's worried about what he's starting to remember." Leila snorted. "No, you're safe. I think I could just tell he was meaning them in a very dirty way. I'm sure Tab still appreciates your tongue." Leila's teeth bared a little when she realised the stupid bimbo wasn't letting up. "A lot. Fucking whore needs to work out how to stick to single guys."

"Am I allowed to ask him about it or hasn't he spoken a lot to you yet? I don't want to piss him off if he's still trying to wrap his head around. Even six months out of action is a hell of a long time for someone who is usually like top in the action game. Does he seem fucked up to you? I mean, you're with him the most, you share his bed. What about fucking? Please tell me you're still fucking, because I would go out of my mind trying to figure out how to help you and Andy in that capacity." Luke started to take some bottles out from under the bar to restock the spirits. "You are so jealous. Your jealous streak can be fucking scary. I still want to know how he would react if someone tried cracking onto you. I say he's got a streak of temper in there somewhere. Have you ever seen it?"

Leila turned enough to reach out and tug on Luke's hair before ruffling it affectionately. Then her eyes were back on the stupid cow trying to get into her husband's pants. She picked up a wedge of lemon from the container behind the bar and sucked on it before she took aim, and tossed it at the bitch. "You can ask him if you want, it's fine. I'm hardly going to make you wait for him to talk to me. I'm just taking it easy on him at the moment. He had a killer hangover that lasted a while, and he's still... a little tender. He's trying not to seem different, but he is. We're still fucking, so you're safe there. Rob's very keen now he can move properly. Or as close to. Shit, I still don't know how to help Andy. I tried, and failed." She raised her hand to blow a kiss to Rob when he turned to find out where the lemon had come from. "Scary? Me? Don't be silly. I'm an angel. Rob told Mike as much. I say he's got one too, but I haven't seen it. You're just evil."

"An angel?" Luke snorted with a laugh, but he was looking at her with a far from innocent look in his own eyes. He scanned the length of his bar and then without a word, moved to the end of it, leaning over to have a brief conversation with a guy sitting there on his own. Luke kept his back to Leila so she couldn't see what he was saying or what he was doing. When he returned to her, he flashed her an innocent, butter wouldn't melt, smile and reached up to drop a fresh bottle of vodka into the holder, shaking it to get the bubbles to the top. "Why haven't you talked to him? Because he was hungover? I guess he was boozing to drown his sorrows, he was a write off but at least Mike was with him. Did he make sure Rob didn't hump a bar stool or something? What's your plan of action, just leave him to brood on it, hope he'll say something when he might not if he really has a buggered head right now? Andy's a lost cause right now. I was over there earlier and Sex and the City reruns were giving him a boner."

Leila narrowed her eyes as she watched her cousin, but it wasn't as if she could accuse him of doing anything. For all she knew he was just serving someone. Only no drinks were poured, and she didn't even know if he knew the guy. "I tried, but he really was just in a lot of post binge pain. He drunk nearly a whole bottle of whiskey on his own. I'm glad Mike was with him, even if my other soldier's wound up with a guilt complex. Poor boy needs a decent shag." Leila tilted her head. "Seriously? Fuck... I knew it was bad, but that is bad." Leila noticed the man Luke had spoken to start to move up the bar, and she followed him, something not feeling right. "Lulu, what did you do?"

"It's bad. He needs to talk to her, but she's doing a good avoidance job. I get a feeling he's right, she's scared he'll knock her up again, then she'll have another miscarriage." Luke poured two drinks, scotch and soda, placing them on the bar in front of Leila. "It's not easy to talk with your head in the shitter, either. That much booze and he had to be barfing up a few vital organs. No wonder he's been sticking to juice all night. His stomach probably isn't attached to his GI tract anymore." He was smirking at her deviously by now, but didn't say anything in response to her question. In fact, he was interrupted when the guy he had been talking to came up beside Leila with a smile. Luke took the opportunity to purposefully knock an empty glass tray onto the floor behind the bar, causing a loud crash when it hit the ground and, as hoped, it caught the attention of Leila's soldier.

The guy leaned in close to Leila. "Hey, I hear you work here," he said to her, smiling. It wasn't sleazy. In fact, Luke deliberately picked a guy Leila couldn't just thump in the face by default. The guy was a lawyer, and cashed up. That's why Luke picked him for his evil deed. Luckily he did let the guy in on what he was doing and offered him free drinks for the night.

Leila had looked for Luke to thump him in the face instead, but her cousin was hiding, so now she was stuck with the suit. She was all too aware of her husband being metres away, and she hoped like hell he was looking elsewhere. "That's right. Please don't tell me you're going to try and ask me to do my Coyote Ugly impression. I might have to knock myself out."

The guy tilted his head with a small smirk. "Was never much a fan of that movie. I prefer my drinks served off a bar without boot prints all over it," he told her with a laugh. He leaned in even closer so their shoulders were touching. "I have a confession to make. Your boss offered me free drinks for the rest of the night to make it look like I was hitting on you. Something about testing your other half's loyalty."

Rob's eyes hadn't left Leila since the tray was knocked behind the bar. At first, nothing looking amissed. Luke was behind the bar, Leila was sitting in front of him where she had been most of the night. But then some asshole was walking up to her and talking to her, which was enough to get Rob shifting in his seat, though he had hesitated when one of the sailors asked him where he was going. Maybe the guy just thought Leila was someone else. But when he touched her, it was not fucking on! He was out of his seat, swooping over to the guy and banging his hand down on the bar loud enough to set the glasses in the vicinity jumping. "What do you think you're doing, pal?" he demanded, leaning close into the guy's personal space. Up the bar, Luke just stood there, smirking but had the decency to try and hide it.

Leila had actually jumped when Rob slammed his hand down, and looked between him and the stranger that her allegedly loyal cousin had apparently made an arrangement with. "Rob, it's fine," she told him. "We were just talking." She tried to give the guy a look, and then just cleared her throat. He really was stupid for accepting free drinks off Luke when her other half was an Army guy. But then Rob wasn't in uniform, so it wasn't completely obvious. She now had him permanently ruffled and the top button of his shirt undone, unlike the first time he had walked into Luke's.

"That's right, mate. Talking. I don't see anyone else keeping her company," the guy returned with a smug smirk. "Gorgeous girl like this should have someone to snuggle up to, keep her nice and warm at night."

Rob just looked at the guy for a few beats, his face expressionless at first and his stillness giving out an air that he wasn't going to react further. It was only long enough to lull the guy into a false sense of security before he swung back and belted the guy firmly in the face and then seized the front of his suit in a rough grip that had his knuckles white. He forced him up against the bar, leaning over him with a few inches above him in height, sneering as he ignored the blood trickling down the guy's face, their noses barely two or three inches apart. "No one fucking touches my wife, mate!" he growled and kept the guy pinned to the bar. "I don't fucking care who you are or how much money you have, if I see you in pissing distance of her again, I'll smash your fucking face in so hard you'll be ordering your drinks through your fucking ass!"

Luke hadn't actually anticipated Rob would take such drastic measures. The suit wasn't the only one lulled into a false sense of security. Luke thought Rob had been about to prove him wrong and politely warn the guy off. Actually, he expected a bit of a heated verbal exchange and maybe a bit of shoving, but fuck! He hurried over to the scene with a stunned, "Rob, Jesus Christ!" The guy's nose was pouring with blood and his eye was rapidly turning black. It wasn't just a small smack to face, the guy was lucky to still be conscious. He grabbed a bar towel and a handful of ice to wrap up. Hopefully this wasn't going to cost him more than drinks, but at least he had learnt something - to never fuck with Leila's husband, who clearly was a silent assassin, kind and civil until he had a reason not to be. He asked the guy to look like he was cracking onto Leila, not actually flare the situation up like this. It probably would have been a lot of help if Rob's dog tags had been visible before the force of nearly thumping a guy out had them falling from behind the collar of his shirt.

Rob gave the guy another firm shove with his elbow and then released the handful of the suit to step back. He pointed at the guy, and then nodded in the opposite direction, a deep scowl on his features. "Get away from her," he told him calmly, yet his voice was hoarse and strained. Luke hurried out from behind the bar with the makeshift ice pack, shooting Leila a look of disbelief, and he pulled the guy out of Rob's vicinity, who was now cursing but managing to apologise with a string of repeated 'They better be doubles!'. He took the guy into the staff room to make sure he was okay, but more importantly, wasn't going to sue or have Rob arrested for assault.

Leila was still wondering what Luke had been playing at, and met his look of disbelief with one of disapproval. Then she looked at Rob, her eyes darkening as the surprise at his outburst shifted to something else. She couldn't help it. She could definitely be possessive but no other guy had ever been the same about her. No one had smacked a bloke in the face on her behalf, or threatened to make them order drinks through their ass. It was also the first time she'd ever seen Rob really angry. Leila moved up to him, sliding from her stool as she snaked an arm around her waist and leaned in close so that only Rob could hear her. "You need to take me home, Sergeant."

It was possible she'd find the suit again and apologise. Maybe even try and explain it away as Rob having difficulty dealing with his recent trauma. Or maybe not. It was hot watching her husband in action, and she was more concerned with getting back to their place so she could show her appreciation. Away from the suits, and the sluts in short skirts. She noticed the woman from earlier was now looking at Rob with something more akin to fear, than any kind of sexual interest. Good, Leila had her husband all to herself again.

Rob cleared his throat and rubbed a hand over his mouth. He did realise there was maybe a slight overreaction on his part, but he saw red. The asshole's comments didn't help. He had maybe let his anger hover slightly too close to the surface lately, which made it hard to reign in when it flared up. He looked over Leila's face quietly for a few moments. "Just talking?" he asked her. It wasn't that he doubted her, he just had to know that really hadn't pushed as far as he had verbally suggested he would. Rob could see now just how protective of Leila he had became, and it did maybe stem a little from being cheated on by his previous wife. This was just a tiny portion of the whole thing, though. He really did not want any other bastard thinking he could just help himself to Leila, whether it be by touching her or otherwise, and he felt slightly sick to think how this would have played out if he hadn't been there.

Which caused another train of thought to jump into his head, and he frowned again, waving his hand in the direction of where Luke had disappeared with the bastard. "Why the hell didn't Luke say something to stop that?!" he asked her. "He threatens me not to hurt you, but let's some fucking asshole practically feel you up in front of him?!"

"Just talking," she replied quietly, and cupped his face with her hand to keep his gaze on her. "I wasn't inviting anything, I didn't instigate anything, he came up to me. And it should have just been talking, but the prick went one step too far." At the mention of Luke, Leila winced, and sucked on her bottom lip. She wasn't sure if she should dump him in it in case Rob hadn't quite calmed down yet. Plus it wasn't a funny situation. She couldn't imagine Rob laughing about being set up in this manner. "I don't think he realised what was going on until you'd already stepped in."

Rob was looking at her uncertainly, but glanced briefly in the direction Luke had gone. He eventually nodded, blaming the uncertainty on the adrenaline rush. His side was hurting a little from the force of the punch, but it was just a reminder to him that he didn't regret belting the guy at all. He was definitely still on an adrenaline high and needed to get rid of it in some way. Maybe he wasn't exactly quite finished marking his territory either. He caught Leila's lips in a deep kiss that maybe was slightly rough and foreceful, and he didn't care who was watching, either.

Leila had no trouble returning the kiss, her hand moving from Rob's waist to his arse as she pulled herself close against him. She had been easy on him while he recovered from his big night, but now Rob was just driving her crazy. "Take me home," she reminded him after the kiss eased off. "You're going to get incredibly fucking lucky in about five different ways, soldier."

Word Count | 3,530

RP LOG | With paramedically

2009-10-31T08:15:32Z

[Backdated to Thursday, October 29th 2009]

When Luke heard that Andrew wasn't feeling well, he happily abandoned his accounts paperwork for The Bondi and went over to check on his cousin. Aiden had just finished running through the next schedule of promos for the bar before he went back to his ivory tower in Manhattan to meet with a new client. Everyone was excited about Ali and Andrew's wedding on the weekend. They usually nabbed any excuse for a good party, but this time it was huge. It wasn't just family. By the time Ali and Andrew had been done with the guest list, it was pushing two hundred. Both knew a lot of people, and factor in all of the Jackson/Connor clan from Australia, it was always going to be a huge affair.

Which is why Luke wasn't particularly surprised to hear Andrew was feeling sick. The Groom-to-be greeted Luke at the door with baby Jamie nursed on his hip, eyebrows raised questioningly, though he looked tired. Jamie was sucking contently on a pacifier, her little hand playing with the collar of Andrew's shirt. "I saw your message. So, I figured as Best Man I should come over and be a man at my best," Luke explained with a shrug, reaching to stroke Jamie's chubby cheek with the backs of his fingers, smiling at her.

"Absolutely no doubt about your abilities there, Puke," Andrew returned, stepping aside to let Luke in. "I didn't even realise you were in New York today. But then, I barely even know what day or time it is right now, so ignore me. I thought you were Mum." He went through to the livingroom and set Jamie down on her blanket, handing her a biscuit, which she happily spat the pacifier out in favour of and broke into a drooly smile for him. He sat down on the sofa, slumping in the seat and rubbing his hand over his face.

"Got paperwork," Luke explained as he took the armchair and put his foot up on the coffee table. Blatant lie, of course. He was actually in New York for the night, ready to kidnap Andrew from his fake shift at work to drag him to an impromptu bachelor party at the bar. Andrew thought he had a shift, Ali actually arranged for his leave to start two days earlier and he wasn't technically due back at work until after their honeymoon. All very covert and devious. Andrew was oblivious to the plans. "Plus, Lei's flying in with the war-wounded tonight so I wanted to be around in case she needed anything. He's getting admitted to a private hospital here. It was that or the military one in Washington, which would have sucked for her. She said he's doing okay. Just kinda distant, which she hopes will get a bit better once he's back home. I can't say I blame the poor bloke, lying out there in agony next to his dead friend for fuck only knows how long. How are you feeling? You look rough, mate."

Andrew nodded. "I told her to call me when they land. I was going to go over to the hospital once he was admitted, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to. The last thing he needs is me sitting there spewing in front of him. Ali said she would go if I can't, though. Just to make sure Leila had everything she needed. He's just going to need some time to process what he went through and find a way to deal with it. It's good he has Leila, though. How much would it have sucked if this happened to him before, with no one to come home to? I'm alright. I just feel really crook in the gut. I know what you're going to say, and yeah, it could be nerves, I guess. Can you blame me? You know what I'm like."

"You love Karaoke singing, but anything more than a small crowd in a bar, you want to crap your pants for fear of being in the limelight. Yeah, I know. I was on the receiving end when you barfed all over my car on the way to that speech you had to give in uni, remember? I thought you were just a little too cool for comfort this past couple of weeks. Have you told Ali about it?" Luke asked pointedly and laughed when Jamie suddenly turfed the biscuit off to the side and crawled over to him, trying to pull herself up against his leg. He leaned forward and scooped her into his arms, kissing her head and then settling her in his lap. "It was just a relief to hear he wasn't dead. She was waiting for that call. I was with her when they called to tell her he had been found and she nearly fainted thinking they were going to tell her he was dead. She's fallen hard, man. Never thought I would see the day. But it's also why this is going to be so hard on her too. I'm not sure she knows really how the hell she is supposed to feel or what she's supposed to do for him. Added to the fact that next time he gets shipped out, this could happen all over again."

"I mentioned to her that I hate being in front of crowds for speeches and stuff. I just haven't been sure how to tell her that might span to my wedding day. And I don't friggen want it to. I need to just focus on Ali because that's why I'm there. Everyone else is secondary. I just know she is going to looking gorgeous and everything is going to fall into place on the day, but I can't quite convince my brain otherwise right now. It's not like the wedding is flamboyant and over the top. It's not. It's very understated, almost bordering on casual, like we both wanted. There's just... so many fucking people." Almost on cue of the realisation, Andrew felt his stomach turn again and he had to shoot out of the seat and bolt up the hall to the bathroom with his hand over his mouth, barely making it before losing the cup of tea he managed to drink before Luke came.

He came back a few minutes later, wiping his face with a damp cloth and shaking his head. "I might need to borrow your brother-in-law for some sort of injection to stop this on the day. I'm not ruining Ali's wedding day. This is massive for her, I know marriage is a sensitive thing for her in general. I think I'm the luckiest bloke in the world that she wants to marry me. I want the day to be perfect for her, after everything she's done for me and given me. Even if I think she ordered me a size too small for my suit pants." He watched Jamie for a few moments, a faint smile on his face seeing how much she like Luke and how natural his cousin was with kids. "Everyone thought out of the three of us, I would be the first to get married. Then you two went and overtook me. I probably should feel cheated, but I'm more smug that so many of our family lost that bet. I'm just glad you're both happy. And Lei will be, when Rob is on the mend. What happens once he heals will be something for him to decide. After the ordeal, he might want to retire. I've heard a lot of soldiers do after stuff like this."

Luke's face scrunched up. "Retire at, what, twenty eight? Something like that. It seems screwed. What's he going to do for income if he retires? Not that I'm saying he is needing to support Lei like the old days, but I get a feeling he's the sort of guy that would want to. She told me he was adamant he pay for the house because it was his duty or something like that. I suck at tradition, but I respect it. I mean, Tab and I pretty much just throw all our cash into one pool and use it as we need to. I've got a shitload of investments tied up, but it's just money." He stopped for a moment with a small frown, pulling Jamie's little pink frilly sock back onto her foot where it had started to fall off. "Do you think he's going to be alright? What if he's not? She said he got pretty banged up. Had his spleen removed, too."

He smirked a little at the pants comment. "Come on, man. You can be so thick sometimes. They aren't a size too small when they're custom-made. She requested they be made that size so she can perve on your arse. You didn't see the gay tailor complaining about the fit, did you? He was mighty impressed. But seriously, you need to just try and relax. I know that sounds hypocritical coming from me considering I freaked the fuck out on my own wedding day, but I see how stupid I was now. And it's different, too, because you've always wanted to get married, have kids, the whole domestic package and you're made for it. Things have been real crap for you, Andy. This is just the start of being happy again, with Ali and Jamie. Just keep reminding yourself that, and reminding yourself that the reason all those people are there are because they want to see that happiness. Not to mention one fuck of a Halloween party to celebrate," he added with a laugh.

"Not retire like an older person. Retire from the Army or retire from the frontline. He seems pretty qualified. He can maybe do something else in the service that isn't actually in combat. Think about what he just survived, he might not want to face that again. There's got to be options for guys in his position. You're probably right about him wanting to take care of her... I feel the same about Ali and Jamie. It was a hard thing for me to understand she didn't actually need it in a financial sense." Andrew thought for a few moments. "I think he will be, once he gets over the initial shock and trauma. Leila will help him through. That's what it's all about. That's something us lot get pretty loud and clear. They just need to find their feet as a married couple. They didn't get that chance. That could be the trying part, especially if he's injured. He might not be able to... you know, make love to her. And I'm thinking she probably really needs that right now. As strange as it sounds, it was that close physical contact that helped Ali and I reconnect. Not saying it was porno or Karma Sutra material, it definitely wasn't. But it was just being together."

His eyebrows shot up. "No way! The tailor wasn't perving on me! He had a wedding ring!" he insisted. "How am I going to get through the day without castrating myself? What about the wedding dress? Is that hard to get off when you finally get to the wedding night? I know she has paid a lot of money for it and I don't want to ruin it." He rubbed his face again. "I'll be fine once it gets going, I'm sure. It's just a huge thing! We're getting married and I want it to be right. Which reminds me, she asked me to take Jamie's little flower girl dress out of the box and hang it up so it's not wrinkled on Saturday. You should see it. It's gorgeous. I'm not allowed to show anyone, though."

Luke tucked his finger into Jamie's hand and she immediately tried to put it in her mouth. She and RJ were much at the same stage, only being a few weeks in age apart. Nothing was sacred and if it fit in their mouth and wasn't bolted down, it was going in the mouth. Luke didn't mind, he was hardly bothered by a bit of baby drool. They were teething and it felt good to rub their gums on something. Jamie had two teeth, though, RJ only had one, and if she got enough force behind it, it could sting sometimes. He watched her in thought. "He might feel differently now he has Leila. From what she said, his last marriage was pretty fucked up. Maybe Lei can show him what it should really be like, give him a reason to reconsider other options. To be honest, sounds like the poor bastard just needs a long rest, physically and mentally. Gotta agree with the sex thing, though. I've learnt it's not just always about getting hot and horny."

He stood up, holding Jamie close against him. "What, like Aiden and Pat's rings? Or Riley and Evie's? I'm taking your beautiful daughter for the day. She can keep me company at the bar while I catch up on my book work. You can get some R and R, try and work on soothing those nerves. You got work tonight, right? You should take it easy today. This time on Sunday, you're going to be a married man, mate. Welcome to the dark side."

musebysentence | 30.6. I'm Still Standing

2009-10-31T02:34:02Z

LINK: Luke bit down on his lip sheepishly as he took in his cousin's unconsious, prone form on the sofa in his office, and then hit speed dial on his cell to call his wife for back-up, "Um, Tab, sweetie, darling, gorgeous... how quick can you get to New York because I think I'm about to be murdered?"

[Bendy time back to Thursday night, or very early Friday morning]

RP LOG | With doesntwaltz

2009-10-24T08:33:54Z

[Occured about a week ago on 16th October 2009]

Leila was slumped in the booth of The Bondi, her foot resting on the seat next to her cousin. She nursed her second beer in her hands and pressed her lips together as her mind once again slipped to Rob, and if he was safe right at that moment. He had to be. She'd already suffered through him being sick, and not being able to do a damn thing about it. She couldn't take the idea of him being injured and still not being able to do a thing. Although if he did end up in the infirmary again it would mean hearing from him...

She slapped herself in the forehead as she groaned. "FUCK! I actually want my husband to get injured just to hear from him. I am seriously fucking losing it, Lulu. I need help." She tilted her beer towards him, something else occurring to her. "You think we should feel guilty getting pissed while Andy can't even be here?"

Her birthday drinks were small with it being just her and Luke, and to be honest, she didn't mind. She wanted things intimate. There had been talk of going out for dinner with Andy the next night, but tonight Leila had just really needed a drink or ten. She'd been thinking herself in circles since she'd missed Rob's call. At least she had Mike to talk to now. He had turned her down with the moving in thing, but the offer was always open. She was being partially selfish in her reasons for asking him. It was like if she could look after him, she'd look after Rob.

Luke took a long gulp of his beer, swallowing as he shook his head. "Andy didn't come because of that. He said we should just go out and have a good time because he's struggling lately. He can't be anywhere near booze. It's that aftermath. I remember when he had it the first time around, he couldn't even eat cake or chocolate with liqueur in it. But he knows how much it sucked for you to miss Rob's phone call and the fact he's away on his birthday. You know, we seriously are screwing our birthdays over. First Andy's with the miscarriage, now you missing Rob's phone call. I should have invited some of the Princeton bunch to keep you distracted," he decided. "Or you should have invited your new first best friend."

Leila nodded. She remembered a lot of her time with Andy in London. She'd never purposely put him around bars if she could help it. Despite her working in one. And she really did shower before she got home, or as soon as, so he didn't smell booze on her. "I think we're having dinner tomorrow night... I got confused because Jamie kept giggling down the phone line and pulling her daddy's nose. Let's just hope we don't fuck up your birthday. Two's enough." Leila stuck her tongue out a little. "He's not my new best friend, Kujo. He's just a friend of Rob's. Sue me if I want to be nice to him."

Luke laughed. "She tries to eat the phone when he talks on it. That nose grab thing, you know exactly when she's going to do it. She goes cross-eyed. And look at it this way. By the time my birthday comes, your other half will probably be back home on NY soil. Stay positive, Lei. He might pull strings and give you a quick call on your birthday. Do you have your phone with you? Did you get the homeline forwarded to your cell? Have you spoken to the guy since? Sure you're not just projecting with him?"

Leila nodded again, and held her phone up. She had it on the loudest ring setting, and had double-checked the forwarding thing several times by calling the home phone herself. Why she hadn't done it the other day was beyond her. If she'd had it forwarded, she wouldn't have missed Rob's call. "Not really. I was planning on calling him soon. I just want to know he's okay. And I probably am projecting, but he's got no one here, Luke. He needs friends. He can't even shag anyone until he gets his head straight. She makes the cutest faces... She's adorable."

"Hmm, it might be hard for him transitioning back into the normal life. He's been over there for eight months, so his head is probably all over the place trying to feel normal. Fuck that for a joke. No way would I be military. I don't think I have the balls for it. Then, I used to think that about Andy and his paramedics, too. Only this guy is like a military paramedic, so it's two strikes. He must have seen some fucking awful shit out there," Luke said, shaking his head. "You should call him, tell him to come get a drink with us if he wants one. She's a fun kid, and I love watching Andy with her. She and Ali gave him this whole new lease on life, even if it's been hard."

"That's what he said. Also said he had a lot of trouble sleeping at night. Nightmares, I think. Who can blame him? They'd all have to have PTSD to a degree. No one can go to a war zone and not be affected." Leila hummed in agreement, but she texted the guy instead. Trying to yell into a cell phone in a busy bar was never easy. If Rob did call, she already had her escape route mapped out for the alleyway out the back so she would be able to hear him. "They really did. I can't remember the last time I've seen him like this. Even before... everything."

Luke picked at the sticker on the beer bottle. "Do you think Rob is going to be like that when he gets home? All weird and... odd? I mean, it's got to be impossible to just come home and step right back into normal life. It's hard enough finding your feet after being on holiday somewhere. How do you think you'll deal with that? He might not be in the mood for fucking or socialising or anything. Maybe you should just... I don't know. I have no idea. You picked a hard road, Lei. I just worry about you," he told her, pressing his lips together with a wry smile. "It was before Uncle Jack was killed. But even then, Andy was a workaholic. You had to book time in to see him. He's mellowed."

"He said he might be. He also just said that it would help having me around. I think I'd ground him... I don't really know how to explain it. Like when you were taking care of Tab. You told me about when you followed her to Princeton in the early days and she was watching her brother suffer. That's not easy either, and she could have easily pushed you away, but she didn't. It was the comfort, and the human contact that kept her grounded. I know I picked a shitty road, but I love him, Lulu. I appreciate you worrying about me, but this is what I want. Or rather he's what I want." She tried to give him a strong smile, showing him she was really okay with it all. "I'm glad he has. He couldn't have ever worked that hard and not crashed, or burned out. Which was a bad choice of words now I think about it."

Luke nodded slowly, remembering back to those days will a small frown. "Yeah, it was hard. Probably one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. He was so sick, I felt useless. He tried to kill himself. He cut his wrist. It was friggen terrifying," he admitted, not having really spoken about it much since it happened. "I know I'm being a pain in the arse trying to protect you. It seems hypocritcal considering we have one of the strongest family groups out there, and we have a number of spouses who have pushed through so much shit and stuck by each other to pull it off. Tara when Lachlan got shot, Evie with Riley, Aiden with Pat's illness, Andy with Ali. I just wish you didn't need to hurt so much in the process, because I know it sucks. I guess I just feel guilty I didn't get to know him much before he left. I was waiting for him to fuck up so I could say I told you so."

"Sometimes I didn't understand how you could do it, but now I can. It was easy trying to relate it to doing the same thing for Andy, or me for you, and you for me. Or you for your sisters. I just... Shit, I couldn't understand how you'd do that for someone you barely knew. Only you and Tab had a connection, right? You just wanted to be there for her, even when it was scary. I want to be here for Rob, even if it sucks with the waiting, and not hearing from him. That's all I need you to get, okay? Please, Luke." She raised her beer to her lips as she took a moment to think of each of those couples. Their strength was phenomenal, and Leila still wasn't sure she was on the same level yet. "Sometimes I'm not so sure this would have been any easier if we'd had more time. I wanted you to know him, but you'll have to wait. And hopefully you still won't need to say 'I told you so'."

"I don't understand how I did it either. Or really why I did it initially. Sure, we had a connection, but I don't think we were quite at the love stage yet. Definitely lust, and curiosity about each other. We went away to Atlantic City together and it was awesome, but the next thing I know she's calling me and telling me her brother had been attacked, that he could have HIV, and it was the most surreal feeling in the world. I guess most people would have run screaming in the opposite direction but she was alone. She didn't even have Riley because he was slipping away and I don't think she knew how to hang on to him. So, before I even realised what I was doing, I was offering to go to her and I did, then I just stayed. I helped where I could, but it was a really dark time. And I think it's very much on the same ground you are with Rob, just different circumstances. The unspoken thing lingering in the air here is he might not come home. That's what being a soldier at war is. Just like we didn't know if Riley would pull through. It's fucked up, but you just have to do what you can and what you need to do to stay sane," Luke told her and took her hand, squeezing it.

"Between you and Andy I'm kind of in awe of the men in our family. He stuck by Ali in her darkest time. You guys are strong... Tab and Ali are lucky they have you. They both did pretty fucking good. Me, I just agreed to marry the guy so I'd know if something happened. And so he'd come back to me... And because I loved him. I thought it would be too early to know, but it wasn't." Leila squeezed his hand back as she smiled a little. "I don't know what I'd do if he didn't come back... I really don't."

Luke waved one of the waiters over so he could get another drink. "Sometimes you just know. That seems to have happened with a lot of us. We'd all sort of been around the block in some capacity, but when it's right, you really do just know in your gut. That doesn't mean it's always easy to get the happily ever after. In fact, it rarely fucking is. But that's just the way it goes. All I remember is you telling me you wanted to fuck someone with a good walk. Or who had a fuck walk, I can't remember exactly the way you worded it. Do you know how long I watched the bloke at Andy's party trying to figure out what the hell a fuck walk was? I really wanted to find something bad about him to tell you that you were being stupid, but all that I kept coming back to was he might get taken away from you and you would get hurt. Then he was, and you were. I've seen clips on the news of what it's like over there, and if you think about it, those images won't even be from the worst parts because cameras couldn't go there. But he also must be excellent at what he does to have ranked Sergeant. I think you just need to have faith he can keep doing that."

"He doesn't want me watching the news. Doesn't want me worrying. Which is easier said than done, although I have kept pretty good at not watching the news. Wasn't much of a watcher to begin with." Leila couldn't help but grin as she shifted in her seat just thinking about Rob's walk. "And I am fucking a guy like that. Or will be when he comes back. I'm glad you didn't find anything wrong with him, even if I know it's your fucked up way of protecting me. It hurts, but I'll be okay. So long as he's okay. I just have to get used to the fact that no news is good news."

Luke's forehead creased as he listened to her last comment and it was just a wave of skepticism that washed over him. "That can't always be true, though, can it? How can you ever know with the Army and all the military secrecy? I won't elaborate to fuck your birthday over or anything, but I think keeping busy is a good idea. Maybe you're right about inviting his mate to stay, too," he conceded. "At least you won't be on your own."

"And I promise to have him checked out," Leila smirked, referring to one of her cousin's comments the other day. "Look, I know it's slightly living in denial, but even he said no news can be good news. He can't carry a cell phone or anything like that with him. I'm just happy so long as no men in uniform show up at my door. Mike scared the shit out of me when he introduced himself as a Sergeant. My heart stopped." She picked up her beer to take a long sip, almost finishing off her second bottle.

Luke smirked. "They barely even have enough food. Fuck living on ration packs. I swear my gut would want to eat itself if I couldn't have a huge breakfast every morning. And sleeping on camp beds. How crap would that be? Your new place is going to seem like a palace for him. All those rooms to christen..." he added deviously. He finished his own drink again, realising he was probably going through them quicker than he normally would. He didn't often get drunk. Booze lost it's shine when you owned a pub yourself. "Well, he is still technically a Sergeant, even if he isn't working. I guess it was just automatic for him. Sans uniform, though, is much better. You see shit like that on TV and in movies. How could you even react? It would suck. But at least the bloke could let you know your other half was okay a few days ago."

"Does Tab actually make your breakfast? I'm sure she said once that she didn't cook. I couldn't live on rations, anyway. It would just taste like fucking cardboard." Leila crinkled her nose, and stuck her tongue out in distaste. "I can't exactly cook either. I'm not sure he'd think my food was much to come home to. Although I am more than excited about christening the various rooms." Leila pointed at him with her bottle. "Stop being so logical! I'm worried sick about him, I couldn't help thinking the worse. It was the fact he was dressed normally that stopped me really freaking out. It would massively suck. I'd have nightmares. I'm glad he gave me the photos... He looked like shit, but at least he was alright."

Luke shook his head as one of the waiters brought them another round. Luke gave him a thumbs up in thanks, already reaching for his next beer. "Nah, I usually do breakfast. She just eats cereal. I need more than that to get me going for the day, especially if I'm going to be at the bar all day and in the night. Some days Riley, Evie and me share off when they are working, only Evie isn't working now and she tends to sleep in. Can't say I blame her. Riley's a good cook, though. He must have gotten that gene when they were dividing up the talents between the twins. Who doesn't look shit when they feel crook? Anyone pointed a camera at me if I spent four days with a puke bug and I'd want to shove the bastard up their arse sideways. It won't be long before he calls you again. He's got to rest sometime, right?"

Leila laughed, taking her own beer. "So you must get off pretty easy if all you've got to make her is cereal in bed. I think it's cool that you're all living together. Especially with Evie pregnant. I bet she'll welcome the extra hand when the twins pop out. Can you imagine? Not one, but two crying new borns..." Leila nodded. "Yeah, but he doesn't know when. I don't know when." As if on cue, Lelia's phone went off, and she only noticed when she saw it rattling against the table top. She'd put it on vibrate just in case, realising the tone would get drowned out in the noisy bar.

She picked it up without checking the ID, covering her other ear so she could try and hear. "Hello?" She stared down at the table, not looking at Luke as she forced herself to focus on the voice on the other end of the line. Suddenly the colour drained from her face, and she was sure the floor was about to open up and swallow her. "I... um, yes, thank you. I understand. I'm sorry, I just--thank you." She snapped the phone shut and just continued to stare at the table, not even sure her heart was beating, or that she could remember to breathe. Eventually she looked at Luke, still too stunned to know how to react. "He's MIA."

Word Count | 3,152

RP LOG | With doesntwaltz

2009-09-24T06:45:29Z

Leila stood in the middle of the apartment, camera in hand as she took snaps from various angles. On the off chance she thought it was the place for her and Rob she wanted to make sure she had the pictures to email to him. She wasn't really feeling it though, and it was the fourth place so far she'd dragged Luke to. She turned to look at her cousin, nose scrunched as she gave him that look that said 'I'm really sorry, but no'.

She hated this. She hated having to suddenly make decisions for her and Rob, and not being able to talk to him about them. She never knew when the next phone call would come, and the emails were intermittent. It wasn't enough. They were still new to their relationship, and extremely new to their marriage. Leila wanted to be curled up with him after more fantastic sex, and falling asleep with his arms around her.

She let out a sigh, her shoulders dropping as she let the camera hang around her neck. Leila lifted her glasses up to rub at her eyes, and turned around to look again at the mediocre apartment. The wallpaper was hideous, but she supposed it could always be fixed up. Still, it didn't scream her and Rob's names. She wasn't even sure if any place would.

Luke puffed his cheeks out and let the breath out in a rush. "Remind me why I'm here again," he said, massaging at his shoulders that had started to stiffen up from the sheer amount of times he had spent looking up, and down, and around, and over, and under, and in and out or everything to do with property. "I don't even own a marital home. Why am I here looking for yours? I could be, I dunno, wanking. Knitting. Maybe baking scones." He looked around, scrunching his nose up at the decor. "This isn't even slightly appealing. Why did you come here?"

"It was available and cheap?" Leila replied, but even she sounded like she didn't buy her answer. "And I don't give a toss about you not having a marital home. At least you have the bloody marital part." She held up a hand in apology. "I'm sorry, that was unfair. I'm just getting tired. Maybe we should call it a day? I don't think any of these places are right. Maybe I'm never going to find somewhere? We'll be doomed to live apart. Worse than the couples that sleep in separate beds in the same room. I needed you here for a guy's opinion. Just pretend to be a soldier."

Luke snorted and pulled his lips to the side wryly. "You have have the marital part. He could have fucked off to the Middle East without putting a ring on your finger, you know," he reminded her, trying to get her to see some of the positive in things. "Did he say you had to look for cheap? There's better stuff than this around for just a bit more, you know. You just have to know what you're looking for. You know Andy spoke to him? The other night, online."

Leila's eyebrows went up. "He did? No, I didn't know. Did it go okay? Does Andy want to do the growly puppy thing, too?" Leila put her hands on her hips as she scuffed the floorboard with her shoe. "No, he didn't. I just don't want to go spending too much. He said he could provide for me."

Luke shook his head. "Nope. Andy said they talked for awhile. Rob's pretty discontent, so Andy just chatted to him about it all, and about general guy stuff. Like farting in the barracks," he had to laugh and then shot her a smirk. "Your soldier is a shy one in new relationships apparently." He went over to her and took her hand, making her point in the general direction of the walls. "This isn't providing. He wants you to find a home, right? Is this really something you want to call a home? Something you think he would like to come home from war to?"

"I think it would be something he'd want to go to war to get away from," Leila replied quietly as she frowned. "It's not home. Wait, farting? What's that go to do with a new relationship and being shy?"

"Ditto," Luke said with a small snort. The place really did suck. He shrugged slightly. "Because it was boy talk? It started with Rob talking about rations and a sore stomach and veered onto the track of farting, and Rob admitting he was still a little shy around you. You know Andy. He can get anyone to talk about anything. I guess Rob just needed to chat about the relationship?"

Leila nodded a little as she caught her bottom lip between her teeth. "Probably. I don't know if he's really got anyone to talk to about it. I've got you and Andy. Well, when he comes home I'll just fart on him and fix the problem. I did grow up around you two. I can fart pretty damn good."

Luke sniggered. "Tell me about it. I just think you've got a good guy there. He seems... nice. You're probably right about the talking thing. If he's transferred from his usual batallion, he's not going to be over there with friends, is he? Andy just said he talked about you a lot, was concerned about how you were, and sounded sad. He was glad he grabbed the chance to talk to him. It's a big thing you're going through, L."

Leila smirked a little, proud that she could keep up with the boys. "No, he's not. He even said that. Plus his family's in Littlerock and don't know me from a bar of soap. I'm glad he could talk to Andy. I hate the idea of him being sad, but I'm not much better. I miss him like crazy. Sometimes I can't really sleep because I just want him next to me so badly."

"You should talk to him," Luke told her quietly and took both her hands in his. "I think you were at work when Andy spoke to him. You should set up a laptop out the back of the bar and just keep an eye out if he comes online. Talk to him whenever you get the chance. I don't mind, okay? It's not going to get easier the longer he's away, it's just going to get harder. I don't want to upset you or anything, but how would you feel if something happened to him and you hadn't spoken to him much? You'd be devastated. Guilty. Feel cheated. Maybe this military wife thing, you just gotta do what you gotta do. And use the rest of us to help you out where we can. Even small things, if you think they're going to bring you both comfort, then do it."

"You'd really let me do that?" Leila hugged her cousin, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad I came back. Not sure I'd be able to do this without you guys. And this wallpaper really is fucking hideous. Make sure I don't buy a place with wallpaper, okay?"

Luke shrugged, and gave another glance around the apartment. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'll just say for the next few months, you're surplus to requirement. Whenever you need to talk to him, just go for it. I know what the early days of a relationship are like, and you need to do what you can to make it work. Plus, he probably needs it just as much as you do. I can't even think what it would be like to do a job like he does. And you know what? Your mood is really affecting your ability to find apartments with character," he added with a smirk. "I think this decor is reflecting how you feel, and making me slightly on the nauseous side, but I think that's because I saw puke in The Bondi's bathroom the colour of this wallpaper last week."

Leila scrunched up her nose as she pulled back from the hug. "Great, now I'm feeling nauseous. I think we should just call it a day, and I'll start with a fresh list next time. Definitely going for less cheap. And definitely taking you up on the offer to talk to Rob whenever I can. I am not loving the fact that this place is reflecting how I feel. I am not this apartment, Lulu."

"Well, it is." Luke paused and turned to her, his face reflecting a hint of concern he was trying not to show to her too much. "You know, L, this is just the first time you're experiencing him getting shipped out. It's not going to be the last. You might have very little time together with him at the end of the day. Are you sure this is the life you want?"

Leila ran her fingers through her knotted blonde hair and gave a nod. "Yeah, I'm sure. I'd rather what little of Rob I could get than no Rob at all. I just need to work through this first bit. I'll find a rhythm, Luke, trust me. It's not like I haven't been alone before."

Luke shook his head. "This isn't the same. You're not just alone. You're alone and separated from someone you need to be with. It's not just a matter of finding a rhythm, because the fact he's away is still going to be hanging over you. And what about your job? Or are you not going to pursue that anymore?" he asked.

She looked at him. "The photography? It's just going to have to change, I think. Unless I find a way to be comfortable travelling while Rob's away, but it would make the contact harder. If I'm still in New York, then I can be easy to find. I might just have to think about a different line of photography. Something that's here in New York and doesn't need much travel."

Luke pressed his lips together. "If you're sure..." he said, trailing off. "Big call to change your life like that for someone."

"You moved to Princeton," she felt the need to point out.

Luke looked at her skeptically. "Princeton is two hours drive away. I still own my apartment and bar in New York."

"Yeah, and I'm going to be living in New York. I think I'm allowed to work in the same city. It was freelance work, Luke. It's never been guaranteed employment, that's why I wind up doing bar stints in between." She gave a shrug, pushing her glasses up as she rubbed at her eyes again. "It's not that big of a call."

"Just trying to play Devil's Advocate," Luke murmured, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Andy's better at all this shit than I am. All I can see is you changing everything for a guy you just... just met," he finally admitted with a small frown of concern.

Leila reached out to hook her arm around Luke's. "I know, and I wish you could know him. But you do know me, and you know I wouldn't change anything I didn't want to. I'm not being forced to do any of this. Rob isn't asking me to. I'm choosing to. So please... just go along with it for now, okay?"

Luke found himself wondering how Tab would handle a situation like this. If Riley met someone and suddenly turned his life in a 360 direction for them because he had fallen for them. The only thing was, it was probably more likely that Tab would do something like that. Maybe actually did, when she met Luke. And then there was Aiden, who did exactly that because he fell so deeply in love with Pat so quickly, that it just progressed to the point that Aiden ended up moving to Princeton when Luke thought he had been the epitome of the New York Metrosexual. But Pat wasn't military. Luke was actually terrified that at any minute, Leila was going to get a phone call that could shatter her world. Where did that leave her then? He nodded. "Okay, whatever you think is best," he told her and then pointed to the door with his thumb. "We should get going."

Leila was still looking at him like she was trying to work out if he understood yet, but she nodded. If she spent much longer in the apartment she would be sick, and she wasn't sure it was just from the wallpaper anymore. None of the decisions she'd made since she'd met Rob had felt wrong, but the aching loneliness that came with missing him was definitely starting to affect her. She held onto Luke's arm, hoping her cousin would understand at some point. She couldn't exactly do any of this without both Luke and Andy supporting her.

Words | 2,169

Tab?

2009-09-14T04:07:46Z

We really need to talk about your matchmaking skills.

musesandlyrics | 2.5. Mick Jagger quote

2009-09-06T07:36:08Z

2.5. "It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back."
Mick Jagger

Co-written with asinthecity
[Follows THIS and THIS]

"TAB!" Luke called as soon as he pushed his way in the front door of his city apartment. He had the door propped open with his hip as he grunted softly, manoeuvring the baby buggy inside and trying not to drop the heavy bag of presents slung over his back and the full pink baby bag over one arm. He was absolutely buggered trying to lug all three up the stairs to the apartment, and now Jamie was doing that small whimpering thing which could mean she needed a fresh nappy or was about to start bawling. He really hoped it was just a nappy change because he was already stressed out and he wasn't sure he could handle hearing the baby girl upset too.

He lugged the bags into the apartment and dumped them both onto the sofa. Man, this place felt small. It had been so long since he lived here, and after living at Riley's house in Princeton, which was large and family-friendly, this place felt like a cupboard. He still loved the place, but he had gotten used to having space, and even being in a full house. Even though the place in Princeton was large, some days he didn't even see Riley or Evie when he had busy days at the bar and they had weird shifts at work. The four of them seemed to work well, and he found himself relieved they were only stopping temporarily at his old New York digs. Only, he didn't know how temporary it would be if Andrew's state was anything to go by. If he needed help with Jamie right then, he might need more as they recuperated after the loss.

Tab skipped out of the bedroom where she'd been trying to settle back in, and rushed in to scoop Jamie out of Luke's arms as she grinned. "Hey, baby! Do we get to look after you? We're so lucky..." Tab blinked as she looked at Jamie's face. "She's doing the lip thing? Why's she doing the lip thing?" Tab moved her hand to check Jamie's nappy and frowned. She couldn't really feel it wet, or full. She cuddled Jamie close, and started to rock her as she looked at Luke. "Lucky Leila didn't need to have her arm twisted to stay at Rob's tonight. She might not have enjoyed our extra guest. Are Andy and Ali, okay?"

Luke rubbed at his shoulders and stretched now that his arms were free. "I think she's going to cry," he said helplessly. "But I don't know why. I didn't get that far in my analysis. She might be hungry or tired. Maybe just pissed off being shipped from pillar to post, but I had to. Andrew asked me to take her for the night. He's not... they're not..." He shook his head, letting out a heavy breath in a rush. "They're not good. Andrew wasn't good to start with, but Ali was acting like everything was fine. Then she said Andrew should open his presents, and he rolled with it but they got to this package that had all these baby things in it and stuff about him being a Dad. Ali just walked out, so Andrew asked if we could screen all the presents." He pointed to the large bag on the sofa.

Tab raised her eyebrows as she turned to look at the bag. She had to bite her lip as she got a guilty look on her face. "It's not meant to be a fun job, is it? The present thing..." She touched her fingers to Jamie's hair and gave the little girl a smile as she hummed a few bars of a song she had stuck in her head. "Shit, I can't even imagine how she must be feeling. I'm not sure I would have gone for normal... Poor Andy finding that baby stuff. Who gave it to them?"

Luke shook his head. "No idea. It was a paramedic stuff, so I assume someone from his work. It's in there somewhere. He shoved it back in the box out of sight. I mean, no one knew what was going to happen, right? Hell, I even contemplated getting him something baby related for his birthday. He was just so happy and excited about it. He was showing me these booties the other day that they bought because they were cute. They were thinking about names and everything. For all we know, every second present in there could be baby related. I can't even tell how he really is beyond devastated. He said Ali doesn't want him touching her, but I didn't know exactly what he meant by that. She came back into the room." He went over to Tab and brushed his fingers through Jamie's hair. "I'm just finding it strange. It was strange to think Andy was going to be a Dad, let alone the fact his baby died. It's Andy. I can't even contemplate it. Was Leila okay when she left?"

Tab dipped her head to kiss Jamie's forehead, trying to think of what was making her lip wobble. It was seeming to ease now, but Tab still didn't want her to start up. She wasn't sure Luke could take it. Tab leaned in to give him a kiss as well. "I know, smexy. It's hard. I just don't understand... Ali was fine. Riley told me what happened, but I just don't get it. Oh man, I hope every second present isn't baby stuff. I might blubber before she does. You're still right. No one knew, so why wouldn't they get Andy baby stuff? Leila was fine. She was concerned about Andy. She doesn't want him to fall into that hole again."

Luke kissed her back softly and then pushed his hand through his hair. Jamie was starting to wriggle a little in Tab's arm, starting with the 'Da da' thing again. Only this time there was no reaching like she did with Andy back in the apartment, just looking around with her big baby eyes and wobbly lip like she knew exactly that he wasn't there anymore. Luke found himself nearly wanting to do the lip wobble himself as he watched her. He rubbed her back to try and soothe her. "Daddy will be back tomorrow, sweetie. We'll have fun tonight." He looked helplessly at Tab, hoping she had some ideas about entertaining a sad baby girl. "I don't know if he might already be falling. Only he's home with Ali, so he should be okay. I think he just doesn't feel like he can talk to her. I guess maybe it's similar to how you felt with Riley? Have you got any suggestions how I can help? Last time, he just shut me out."

Tab pulled her mouth to the side. "Well, with Riley I usually just curl up with him. I don't think you and Andy are the curling up types. Maybe you can just help without him needing to ask? I don't know. Taking Jamie was a good idea. Otherwise you could maybe sit with him... see if he'll talk." Tab tried to get a better hold on Jamie, humming again. "Maybe you and Leila need to be with him for some cousin time? You can't exactly get him drunk, but maybe you can think of a substitute?"

Luke sat down in one of the free chairs, watching his wife with the baby. She really had honed her baby skills after spending more and more time with RJ, and often with Jamie too. "These are the times I feel useless. I wonder if he just needs to break to grieve. He's trying to hold it all in for Ali, but I think he just wants to be with her and hurt with her. She told him she didn't even want the baby and she was glad it happened. I don't know how I would try to swallow something like that. Even if it's not true, it couldn't have hurt any less to hear. Maybe I can get her friends to stay with her while Leila and I get Andy away for a bit?"

"He probably does want to hurt with Ali but how's he supposed to if she's not admitting to her hurt?" Tab made a face, her expression twisting. "She really said that? How is he even breathing still? That would definitely be salt in the wounds. It might take her friends to help her realise, same as it might help Andy being with you two. Her friends might be willing to risk her hating them for saying things, where as Andy probably won't want to be the one to break her. So I think it's a good idea."

Luke nearly laughed when Jamie started to watch Tab's face and then reached up to grab her lips. The little girl had always been curious. Next step would probably be Tab's nose or a baby finger in the eyeball. He pressed his lips together but did laugh a little. "What if he doesn't want to? Do I just barge in there any way?" he asked.

Tab looked down at Jamie, for a moment eying her suspiciously like the baby might try and suck her face off. After a moment she gave Jamie her finger to play with, hoping to distract her from her face. Tab wouldn't deny Jamie's curiosity, but she still didn't want her face sucked. "Yeah, I think you do. Riley was in too bad a place to know what was good for him, remember? Andy's lost his unborn kid... something he made with Ali. This will be a huge black hole for him. Maybe not father-sized, but pretty close."

"You sing to her and you talk to her. She's trying to figure out how your mouth does it," Luke told her, amused at the way Jamie was watching Tab's lips. "But isn't that invading Ali's territory? See, before, Andrew was alone. I barged in regularly, even when he was boozed up and angry. Yeah, believe it or not, he used to get extremely angry and call me all the names under the sun. He wasn't a very fun drunk, but it was fueled by grief and anger at himself, so it wasn't surprising. You wouldn't pick it in him now. It's why he wanted to stop so desperately. He hated who he was drunk. But my point is, won't Ali think I'm doing what is her job? She might think I don't trust her."

Tab glanced at Luke. "Can she be trusted right now? She's got her own dark hole to be in. If she was doing the freaky normal thing it means she's in denial. She might not be able to help him if she can't face it herself. Isn't that why we also have Jamie tonight? And I can believe it. Andy's warned me, and Leila told me a couple stories. Even you have. You think this is enough to send him back there?" Tab wet her lips as she looked down at Jamie again. "Can't she figure it out without trying to rip my lips off?"

"She doesn't know they're lips. She doesn't know she has lips too. She just knows they move and sound comes out, which is fun. She's at an age where she is starting to learn new things. She only said her first word the other night. She's taking everything in around her." Luke blew out a breath and rested his head back, looking at the ceiling. "I want to say no. I really, really want to say no. He has been sober for so long and he was proud of himself for fighting it. He swore many times he wouldn't drink again. But the look on his face when he saw those baby things, and then Ali just walking numbly out of the room. He was crushed. He keeps looking at her like he wants to reach out for her, but doesn't know if he should. But I couldn't just say to him I was sticking around because I was worried he would drink, could I? That would have been a slap in the face."

"But you do have lips," Tab told Jamie. She ran her finger over them as she made a pout with her own. "See? Lips! You will be able to talk with them soon. I'm not lowering myself to baby talk, so I don't think you should either." Tab moved around, watching Jamie still watch her. "Yeah, it would have. I wish he could reach out to her... He needs her. They need each other, but it's not going to happen if there's something blocking it. I really hope he doesn't fall off the wagon, but I guess we'll see."

Luke lifted his head and smiled at the baby. "She only seems intent to keep saying 'Daddy' over and over again. Says a lot, I think. She might be the key, you know. Losing the baby, it was horrible, because they were excited and it was going to be awesome to complete their family. But she's still here. She's their little girl, she needs them. She forgives everything. They still have their family, they just need to hurt together, as a whole. Not apart like this."

Tab moved closer to him, her brown eyes fixing on her husband. "So do we take her back?"

"No, we don't. He asked me to take care of her. Practically begged me, and now I just have this sick feeling in my gut something is wrong. Maybe he's just sitting at home in a dark corner crying alone. It's not exactly conducive to trying to take care of her. God, I hate this. That baby wasn't supposed to shatter everything, it was supposed to be the final piece of putting him back together," Luke said in frustration. "He was just getting back to how he always used to be."

Tab kissed Jamie's forehead, and sat down beside Luke. "If we don't hear anything in the morning... should we check on them?"

Luke wrapped his fingers around Jamie's little hand. It fit perfectly in his palm, and the contact was enough to draw her attention to him, causing her to bounce up and down a little with a smile in Tab's lap. "I don't know. I might give them a call later, and maybe stay up a little later tonight than usual, just in case. Or maybe I should talk to Leila. I don't bloody know. I feel useless."

Tab turned her head to kiss Luke's cheek, before resting her head on his shoulder as she looked down at Jamie, bouncing her knees. She really was getting over the fear of babies, but more because she could do the aunty thing. She still wasn't ready for one of her own. Just knew it wasn't the end of the world if she did wind up with one. "You're not useless, but then again, you're not alone in feeling it. We all are, I think. Until we know what they need."

Jamie leaned over to wrap her drooly mouth around Luke's finger. It didn't bother him. He was used to baby drool, especially with RJ of late. Whatever he could get in his mouth, went in his mouth. Bets were already on as to whether that meant he might be gay, much to the amusement of the bunch. "Losing a baby... I can't even imagine it. I think as far as Ali and Andrew we concerned, they were already picturing the new one like Jamie in their head. It was already their child. They just had to wait a little longer to meet them. That's why I think it's cut so deep. It wasn't just a miscarriage. They had time to accept it, and want it, and love it. To wonder what they would name it, and what colour eyes or hair it would have. It was a baby, and then they lost it. Maybe I should go back over there?" He stopped and growled softly in frustration. "No, I shouldn't. Andrew's nearly married now. I need to realise that."

Tab frowned. "I still run to Riley, and he's married. I don't think it matters. You're practically Andy's brother, and he's going to need his family. Ali will, too."

"I don't know what to do," Luke admitted with a frown. "I guess I'll just wait for a little while. We can get Jamie to bed and take care of her. Then I might just give him a call to see how he is."

Tab lifted her head and smiled softly at him. "That's probably a better plan. Just sit for a bit. You've only just left him. Besides, I might not have a mouth left if you leave me along with Jamie. Really want to be married to a lipless freak?"

"I wouldn't worry. She's moved on from the lips to suck my hand off. At least she's generous with her time," Luke joked, feeling how Jamie was rubbing her gums on his knuckle. "She must be teething. Here's hoping she doesn't turn to condoms like RJ."

Tab made a face. "We better make sure there aren't any lying around. Does she have a ring, or something?"

Luke nodded and reached tiredly for the baby bag. "Yeah, she does. She had it back at the apartment. It's got a pink dolphin or a banana on it or something. She chews on the sippy cup, too." He started to drag all the baby things out of the bag. "I can never get over how much shit fits into these bags. Do they have hidden compartments?"

"Mary Poppins bags," Tab replied with a smirk. "And no, it's just a woman's gift. Fitting endless shit into a bag. You know, if you want to nap I can wake you up in a little while. You're allowed to get rest."

"No, it's alright. I told him I would watch her. I think she's too messed around to just go to sleep if we try to put her to bed too. She'll end up screaming the place down. She seems happy enough at the moment. Sometimes all a baby needs is to know they're not alone... adults need to take a leaf out of their book." Luke adjusted the little collar on Jamie's jumpsuit. "I should call Leila and get her to come over to babysit with the soldier," he added with a smirk.

Tab looked at him. "Why? Are you planning to make Jamie dribble all over the poor guy? Are you okay with him and Leila. I never got a chance to ask."

"Well, I figure if he's planning on sticking around, he needs to take the good with the bad. Jamie dribble is right up there. She's Andy's daughter." Luke shrugged. "Yeah, I'm okay with it. I didn't get much of a chance to talk to him at the party, but Andy did. He said the guy is nice. Kind of formal, but I think he was just nervous in the large group. The poor bastard is probably spooked as all hell now after what happened. But better for him to see first hand what it's like being attached to all of us."

Tab nodded. "Yeah, true. I like him. I think he'll be good for Leila. If you want them to come over, definitely call them. More the merrier, right? Might help us stay up so we can keep up with Jay. I'm exhausted just from watching it all go down."

Luke nodded and then shook his head. "No, we probably shouldn't push the envelope. She's only just met him. What if he decides it's too much hassle? He's coming out of some messy shit himself. He might not want default dramas and get weirded out. Then he might not be a kid guy, and we thrust a baby on him?"

Tab smirked. "Something tells me he'd rather just be with Leila when she needs him, and that includes baby duty. He's probably a family guy, but his ex fucked him over and couldn't give it to him."

"Strange how much of a theme that is in our group. He's going to fit right in," Luke observed wryly.

"Making mistakes is how we learn, isn't it? And it means we got to meet the ones we're meant for. It hurts, but when you meet the right person... makes it all better." Tab leaned forward to kiss Jamie's head. "Just like your mummy and daddy, Jay."

"Until it just stops being better?" Luke asked with a small sigh. "I might need to stick around in New York a bit longer, Lucky Charm. I think my family needs me this time."

Tab looked at him, tilting her head a little. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

Luke laughed. "No, I don't." He smirked at her. "Yeah, of course I do, but only if you want to. It's up to you. I mean, I'll still come to Princeton for the bookwork on the other bar, but I might just hang out here in the city for a couple of weeks. It's not permanent or anything. Just until I can be sure Andy and Ali are back on their feet."

"I want to stay with you," Tab said quietly. "I'll go back when you go back to visit Riley, then we'll just come back to the City to be here for Andy. It's my turn to support you. You did it with me when Riley was... you know. Now I can do it for you."

"Yeah, I know," Luke told her with a smile. "And didn't I say all those times you tried to thank me that I would need you one day too? This is it. I need you. Because if Andy falls, I'm going to need help to help him. Last time, I barely managed."

Tab rest her hand on Jamie's stomach, trying to keep the wiggler in place as she leaned over to give her husband a soft kiss on the lips. "I'll make sure you manage, smexy. I'll be your own personal power supply."

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 3,699

Sure, why not?

2009-08-21T11:09:56Z

You Are An ESFP

The Performer

You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.

A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.

You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.

You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.

In love, you are a smooth talker and incorrigible flirt.

While you get into relationships easily, you don't tend to stick around when times get tough.

At work, you do well in groups. You keep everyone laughing through difficult tasks.

You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

How you see yourself: Capable, fair, and efficient

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Incompetent, stubborn, and silly

What's Your Personality Type?

For doesntwaltz

2009-08-09T15:31:56Z

Well? Do you need reinforcements or have you got a mouthful of soldier as we speak?

musesandlyrics | 1.1. Angelina Jolie quote

2009-08-04T08:40:33Z

1.1. "The fact is I am not having sex. But I feel absolutely ripe for the – what would you say – plucking?"
Angelina Jolie

Co-written with doesntwaltz

Leila Jackson leaned against the bar, the straw from her drink in her mouth as she sucked on it. She wasn't using it so much for drinking, as a distraction from other things. Her blue eyes flitted around her surroundings, the contacts making them bluer than usual. She got away with them most of the time, her glasses really only coming out when she was just bumming around home, or wanted a break from shoving stuff into her eye. She hadn't been blessed with the same perfect eyesight her cousins had.

She smiled at a guy who passed, her head tilting with interest as she looked him up and down. He smiled back, clearly thinking he might have an in later. The moment he was gone, she let out a groan and looked at Luke. "Fuck, are there no decent blokes in this place at all? He's a dud lay. He's got that walk."

Luke finished rinsing off some glasses and shoved them in the wrack to be taken out back for washing. He wiped his hand on the bar towel hooked around his belt buckle, curling his wedding ring around his finger to dry the moisture out from under it. He smirked at his cousin. "What walk? You cannot tell a bloke is a fucked fuck from how he walks," he scoffed.

Leila smirked, her eyes narrowing a little as she looked at him. "I can, trust me. It's in the way his arse moves when he walks. That dude's all over the fucking place. He's got an uncoordinated arse." She tapped the bar with a slender finger as she leaned forward. "Ask your wife how your arse moves. I'm telling you it has everything do with how you are in the sack."

"Alright, Miss Fuck Expert. What walk indicates a good lay?" Luke challenged. He leant on the bar, smirking skeptically. "Are you telling me you don't even analyse the package? How long has it been since you got laid?"

"What good is the package if they don't know how to use it?" Leila asked, her eyebrows raising. She put the straw down, and her tongue ran over her teeth as she turned to look at the crowd. The only downside to a bar was not everyone was up and walking around. There was a guy on his way to the bathroom though, and she pointed at him. "See that? Perfectly good walk and he would definitely be a good lay. Too bad he's got a girlfriend. And it's been... I don't fucking know. Since I left London? How long since your last lay, Mr Married and Has Sex on Tap?"

Luke looked at his watch. "Hm, three hours. Give or take. I don't suggest you spend any time hanging around Andy right now. He's getting fucked more than a rabbit orgy." He looked at the guy going to the bathroom. "He looks gay. Most gay guys have the fuck mojo."

Leila looked at her cousin in amusement. "Are you already gagging for it, or does sex not matter anymore? When did Andy turn into such a Lothario?" Leila's gaze flicked back to the guy before he disappeared past the door. "What makes you think he's gay?"

"No, I'm not gagging for it. Believe it or not, I do have some self-control. I survived fine before marriage," Luke reminded her with a snort. "Since he knocked his fiancee up on their romantic holiday Down Under. The hair and the shoes. No straight guy wears shoes like that. Aiden is gay and married, remember? My gaydar has been honed recently."

"Yeah, I think you have a short memory, Lulu. So you like being married, or what? You okay now that it's past the actual wedding day, and everything?" Leila's lips curved into an amused smirk. "Oh yeah, I forgot that. This is what happens when I hardly see him because he's being shagged to death. I'm happy for him." Leila laughed, pushing her blonde hair back from her face. "Hence the thinking that he has a girlfriend. Might not be your gaydar so much as commitment-dar."

Luke opened the til up and started the pull the tray out so he could clear the takings. "No, I hate it. The ring feels like a ball and chain around my finger," he joked. "Of course I like it, now I get it. Before, maybe not so much. I wasn't sure about the whole tied down thing, but it's not like that." He pulled out the fifties and started counting through them quickly. When he reached the end, he shrugged. "Andy's Andy. It stunned the bollocks off him when she told him, but he's just got the family thing down. His fiancee is great. You'll love her. As rough as guts and the chalk to his cheese, but she's your kind of chick. I still say that's his sister. He can fix his hair in those shoes."

Leila smiled at him, her expression softening for just a moment. "You happy?" Leila watched him while glancing around for any opportunistic pricks that might try and take the cash. Everyone seemed to be focused on their drinks, and friends, though. Leila felt another slight pang, and picked the straw up to start biting on it again. "He was always going to be great at the family thing. It was probably going to take the chalk to his cheese to get him to wake up and realise he's got stuff to offer. She's already got a kid, right? He's okay with that? So he's slipped off to the toilet to rendezvous with his hot gay lover? He's been in there way too long already. All you blokes piss quickly."

Luke nodded with a smile. "Yeah, of course I am. Do you think I would take the marriage thing lightly? I nearly skipped out on the wedding day and had her twin castrate me because of it." He wrapped a band around the fifties and shoved them into the secure cash bag. "You'd swear the baby girl was his. She is in everything but the sperm. He's been there from day one. A lot of shit piles came with it, but they're sweet together. First time I've ever seen him smile properly after Uncle Jack's death was when he met Ali. I don't know, maybe. The fag hag doesn't seem all that impatient."

She gave a shake of her head. "No, of course not. Just need to check these things. I got to make sure my family's happy. Then I can tell Dad so he can tell your parents. You know how it works. So what changed your mind? Besides not wanting to be castrated." Leila smiled, imagining Andy with a baby girl. "That's all that matters. Sperm isn't everything. It's love, and a bond that can't be faked. It's good he's smiling again. For a while I wasn't so sure he would." Leila rest her chin on her shoulder as she watched the woman. "Probably because she has her hand in that poor guy's pants she's sitting next to. He doesn't look like he's enjoying it."

"I don't know, really. You know me. I've never been all that deep. Just roll with it. I just realised I was being a wanker. I panicked. I can't help it, it was just reactionary and it all got out of hand before I reaslised what was going on. I always thought I would be the beach wedding type bloke. I'm allowed to have one freak out in my life of coolness. That was it," Luke said with a smirk. He bundled up the next wad of cash and then took a glass to get himself a drink. "Yeah, I wasn't sure he would live let alone smile. But she was broken too, and you know Andy. He needs to fix people to be happy. She was alone at the worst time in her life, and he just wanted to make sure she was okay. Rest is history, and I get to plan his Buck's Night. I vote that's the gay lover."

"Good thing your wife seems pretty good at rolling with it too, or you might have wound up with the bouquet up your backside. Yeah, we'll let you have the one freak out. One more freak out, and you lose the crown of cool," Leila teased. "It had to be hard for him losing Uncle Jack. I don't think any of us can really blame him for crashing. It's just good that they both picked up each other's pieces." Leila rolled her eyes as she snorted. "She is officially the world's worst fag hag. And fuck, I really need to get laid."

Luke shrugged again. "Well, if that was her response, she wouldn't have been right for me, would she?" he reasoned and sipped his coke. "It was being in the car with him when it happened that did it. He could never shake the awful guilt complex. I'm not sure he ever really will, deep down." He pointed to the scene with his glass. "Yeah, but why should the fag hags miss out? Look at Aiden's. She went out and got knocked up in her fag hag process. Puh-lease! Why don't you just pay for it?"

"Nah, so good thing she is right for you. And she is. It's crazy, but I totally think she's meant for you," Leila said as she pulled the straw from her mouth to take a large mouthful of her drink. After swallowing she met the gaze of some guy further down the bar, and coudln't resist teasing him by dragging her tongue slowly over her lips. "He's Andy. He always feels something strongly. Good, and bad. It's what makes him a good paramedic. He can be compassionate, and understanding. Yeah, but she wasn't knocked up by Pat, was she? No, she got knocked up by a guy into vaginas. If that's the gay's lover, he is so not into vaginas, or being groped by women. So she's seriously missed the mark there." Leila's gaze went back to her cousin and she arched an eyebrow. "Know any good escorts?"

"I just want to make sure he's okay. He showed up in Princeton the day he found out about the bun in the oven, and he was stunned. The baby is only eight months old, so poor Andy thought he was going to hurt Ali by getting her pregnant so soon. She had post-natal depression, see, but can't blame her for that because she had a fucked up time with the pregnancy. They've come around through the shock, though. Our little Andy's gonna be a daddy," Luke laughed. "Maybe she's just doing her fag-hagly duties and preparing him for his lover? Adjusting him, or something? I don't know how far fag hag duties span. I've never technically been one. And maybe I do. Actually, I probably know the best male escort New York has to offer."

"Is there anything I can do?" Leila asked. "Ew... but I guess it depends on the fag hag and the gay she's attached to. Ask Aiden if his fag hag's ever prepared him." Leila grinned at Luke, her eyes lighting up. "Personal experience? You got a little curious and decided to dip your dick in other waters?"

Luke shook his head. "Nah, I don't think so. It's more a watching from afar thing. I just get worried about him. I don't ever want to revisit finding him face down in a pool of his own bloody vomit again. Ever. Scared the freaking shit out of me. So, see? I've already had my two freak out moments." He sniggered. "Ah, yeah, no. Aiden's fag hag and my wife can very much vouch for him, though. He's got quite the top notch rep."

Leila reached out and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Extenuating circumstances, so you can keep the crown for now." Leila's mouth fell open a little. "Your wife? Not keeping up your end of the marriage sex, Jackson?"

Luke just gave her a look. "It was before me. Again, if she was fucking around on me, I'd be out the door. Been there, done that shit, got the fucking sperm-soaked t-shirt," he said wryly. "She was dating some bloke before me. I don't know all the much about it because it was a sore spot with my brother-in-law after the whole needlestick thing. Past, old water and all that. Flynn was her rebound fuck, and she still sings his praises. I don't mind. The guy is apparently awesome at what he does, and he does it all."

"Flynn, huh?" Leila tilted her head back as she thought about it, sucking on her full bottom lip. "Got a card, or should I just look him up?"

Luke shrugged. "Buggered if I know. I think he goes through an agent. He's booked up for weeks in advance and costs a pretty penny. How proud are you at calling in family connections?" he asked with a smirk. "I can probably get Tab to make a deal with him. They're pals. The guy is busy. Outside of work, he operates in a three-way."

"How does he even have the time to be an escort?" Leila asked with a laugh. She shrugged, pulling her mouth to the side. "Not that proud assuming your wife wants to make a deal with him on my behalf. And only if he does have the time. Not looking to encroach on his schedule if he's that busy. I'm sure I could settle for second best in New York if it came down to it."

"I guess he's just awesome at what he does. Depends if you want to fuck a stranger or someone actually pretty much family. His lover is attached to our Princeton bunch. Why settle for second best?" Luke asked in amusement. "He's a nice guy. You don't get a rep like he does without proving you've got the goods. Tab calls him a horse, and unless he eats hay, I think you can deduce what that means."

Leila stretched her arms up above her head as she worked the kinks out of her back while thinking it over. "Alright, sold. I'll take on Tab's horse if she'll be kind enough to call in a favour. Can't really argue with your publicity. Sure you're alright pimping out her rebound fuck?"

"Do you want me to have issues in my marriage or something?" Luke asked her, raising an eyebrow. "I don't give a fuck about what they did. It was before I even met her."

Leila frowned. "No, but I'm still going to check it's cool. I don't want you having issues, okay? Here's me stopping with the checking. And I'll be sure to tell you every gory detail. Thank you, Cousin Luke. You're the best pimp around."

Luke flipped her off. "You don't need to check, I'm fine. King of Cool, remember? I wouldn't be married if it came with so many issues." He smirked at her."Don't worry, I'll take back a favour one day."

Leila blew him a kiss. "Yeah, just don't let the crown mess up your hair too much. I'm glad you're happy, and you like being married." Leila smirked back. "Well, if it's going to be my first born you might be waiting a while."

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 2,564

From the Regressive One

2009-08-03T22:10:08Z

Your Defense Mechanism is Humor

When life gets you down, you just have to laugh. And that's a very healthy reaction.

It's not that you don't take your problems seriously. You do. You just don't let them control you.

You are able to make the best of things, even when things look very, very bleak.

Some people may consider your sense of humor to be dark, but it has served you well!

What's Your Defense Mechanism?

muses_w_remotes | 14.17. Night at the Museum quote

2009-06-11T12:59:47Z

14.17. “We're Americans, we don't plan, we do!”
| Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

Co-written with mrpublicity & drcampbell

Luke was leaning against the doorframe of the new Princeton bar, arms folded and a smirk on his lips as Aiden got out of his immaculate trendy silver BMW convertible. The publicist's appearance matched his car in a light grey suit with a lavender silk shirt that only a gay guy could pull off, and the look was completed with dark sunglasses and a slick black leather briefcase. Aiden was just ended a call on his cell phone, snapping it closed and pushing the sunglasses up onto his head. He set the car alarm before making his way over to Luke with a confident swagger that just emanated that he had some sort of important purpose in life. No wonder he was so successful. Luke raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "A very abrupt trip to Princeton, indeed. What's going on?"

Aiden smirked as he approached Luke. "You're just going to have to trust me," he said and turned around, eyes narrowed as he scrutinised the sidewalk with a slow nod. "Where's Tab. I need her here. It's important."

This had Luke's attention, to say the least. "She's with Riley. He's having a father-to-be crisis. How important?"

"Vital," Aiden emphasised, albeit cryptically. "She can bring Riley with her. In fact, they should bring Evie, too. The more, the merrier." He made his way past Luke into the bar and flipped open his brieface on the nearest table. He pulled out a roll of bright yellow and black tape, and went back outside, shooting Luke another small smirk. "Get a couple of those wooden wine crates you have in the basement, bring them up, and I want you to rig a mic up. Don't plug it in anywhere. Just trust me."

Luke shook his head in confusion and followed Aiden outside. "What the fuck are you on about? I hate when you say 'trust me'. Means you're up to something. You want Tab, and Riley and Evie are coming along. I don't get it. What's the point of a mic not plugged in? And wait, what? Wine crates?" he asked, holding up a hand.

Aiden snapped his fingers. "Quickly. It's important." Luke snorted, but went into the bar to grab the things requested. "Call Tab. She needs to be here."

It was then that a bunch of things happened in rapid succession. Lachlan and Tara pulled up behind Aiden, Lachlan coming over to them while Tara saw to getting the baby out of his capsule and into the buggy. "What's going on?" Lachlan asked, glancing around just as Aiden was unrolling the tape and spreading it diagonally across the freshly cleaned windows of Luke's new, yet offically opened bar. It looked like crime scene tape, but Lachlan tipped his head to the side to read the writing. "Caution. Electrical Hazard. Do not enter. Huh?"

The Scot didn't even get an answer before a firetruck pulled up with it's lights flashing. Luke exited the bar with two crates and unplugged microphone. His mouth dropped open at the firetruck, realising it was already starting to draw a crowd. The roll of tape had conveniently disappeared and Aiden had moved on to talk to the kitted up firemen. Luke turned to Lachlan. "What the fuck?" he said.

Lachlan shrugged. "I dinnae know. You having electrical problems, aye? That's a fucker, buddy. Barely days before opening. Still, crowd," he reasoned with a shrug. "Good publicity."

The penny dropped and Luke blinked. Very good publicity. Top notch. And free. Aiden had just staged a fucking publicity stunt without even telling him! The fireman started hovering around the front of the bar when Aiden came over and plucked the microphone off Luke, the smug smirk still on his lips. He disappeared into the record store next door and soon came back with the manager and store clerk... the microphone plugged into their store with an extension cord. Luke was still gaping when Aiden came to stop in front of Lachlan, hands resting on his shoulders as he held the Scotsman's gaze. "It's okay, you can still practice. No one will mind if you do it out here while they investigate the problem. No worries," he said, probably a little louder than necessary if he were just addressing Lachlan directly.

Lachlan felt something akin to his arse dropping out of him and his stomach hitting the floor simultaneously. He paled, though it would probably have only been visible to those who knew him and knew why. The firetruck and flashing lights had gathered quite the crowd now, people starting to fill out across the sidewalk to see what was going on. It probably wouldn't do to vomit all over the concrete, even if that would make some interesting publicity.

Aiden caught the terror in Lachlan's blue eyes, so he leaned in close to his ear. "You can do it. Quick set, choose classics. Just belt them out like you did at the Scotland bar that night. Think about how much you wanted to tear the mic out of Pat's hand at the party. Street publicity, man. You can't get better. Your voice, your guitar, nothing else. Show them what you can do," he encouraged and then stepped away.

By this time, Luke didn't know whether to scream in frustration or kneel down and kiss Aiden's feet. The crowd was growing still. At the very least, it had drawn attention from the locals to the bar in the broad daylight. They had also garnered support off the neighbouring record store, and now, if Lachlan could regain his composure, the band was about to be launched in the most unlikely way possible. If Lachlan got up there, and Tab followed him if she could get here, it would be prime exposure for both the bar and the band, all the result of an apparent 'accident' with the electrical wiring. It could happen to anyone. And finally, being thrust into the impromptu limelight like this, it might help Lachlan overcome a little more of his fears.

Aiden stepped up in front of the crowd and waved his hands a little for their attention. "We apologise extensively for this, ladies and gentlemen. The issue should be resolved as soon as possible. A minor leak from the rain over the weekend seems to have alerted us to some faulty wiring and it's just better to be safe than sorry. But we're on a tight schedule with the opening pending, so the singers of one of our staring acts just need to continue with their practice until we can get back inside and pick up where we left off." He gestured in Luke's direction. "Ladies and gentlemen, Luke Jackson, one of the owners of our bar along with his lovely wife Tab who is also one of our singers along with Dr Lachlan Campbell, from our wonderful local hospital, Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital!" He waved his hand in Lachlan's direction.

A deer caught in headlights was another description, though there probably wasn't many deer in the world who wanted to deck their best friend's husband into a bloody pulp on the concrete. Everyone was watching him, and Lachlan couldn't see where all their hands were. They could have guns. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest, but when his eyes landed on Tara scooping their son out of the pram and watching him in deep concern, it was like cool drink of water soothed his insides. He took the microphone with a shakey hand and then climbed up onto one of he crates. The electric guitar he had left at the bar the day before was handed to him from somewhere, apparently also feeding electricity to the amp from the record store and he looped the strap over his shoulder. At any normal performance, he probably would have addressed the crowd. He was too aware of everything, though, especially that some people there would know without a doubt he was the doctor that got shot at the 'wonderful local hospital'. They were locals; of course some would know.

Classics. Why did nothing suddenly seem classic? He gripped the microphone until his knuckles were white. When the fuck did the crowd triple in size? He swallowed and met Tara's eyes, that now had tears in them, but she nodded in encouragement as she nursed Riley protectively against her chest. He drew a deep breath and push the guitar around to his back and did the only thing that could come to mind... started the clapping sequence at the beginning of Queen's 'We Will Rock You'. The crowd seemed to hesitate at first, but then automatically joined the clapping and Lachlan tapped his foot against the edge of the crate, letting the rhythm filter through him before he cupped the microphone in front of his mouth and started to sing with his whole soul, his powerful voice bouncing out over the whole crowd that had gathered. "Buddy you're a boy make a big noise, playin' in the street, gonna be a big man some day! You got mud on your face, you big disgrace, kickin' your can all over the place! Singing we will we will rock you! We will we will rock you!"

Luke turned to look at Aiden, his mouth still hanging open slightly. "He's going to kill you," he hissed, glancing around to make sure no one was listening to their conversation. "But fuck, if this works, you can have free drinks for a year."

"It'll work," Aiden said confidently. "He admitted his fears to me and laid everything on the line. But one thing I have noticed is despite the adversity, he will always step up when thrust into the spotlight. He can't help himself. He has to perform. It's in his blood and it's the only way he'll overcome it. Plus, this way, you get exposure for the bar right before it opens, I get Tab and Lachlan's name at least familiar, and with him, for something that doesn't involve the shooting. That's vital. To launch the band here in Princeton with his name linked to it, it would just be morbid curiosity. People need to hear it for themselves." He held his hand out in Lachlan's direction. "And he just does it. Sure, he looks like he wants to shit himself and maybe will when it's all over, but just watch. He lets the music lead him. If Tab ever found herself in horrific adversity like Lachlan did, my bets would lie that she would use her music to pull her through it too. It's like swallowing a pill. Same affect on their system."

"This wasn't impromptu, was it?" Luke realised, shaking his head as Lachlan reached the end of the song and crowd was already applauding and throwing requests at Lachlan.

Aiden shook his head. "Of course it wasn't. But you would never have agreed, or you would start looking at Lachlan worriedly if he was around. You would need to tell Tab, and she would get understandably excited, and then it wouldn't be so impromptu. Now they just both get to belt out some of their favourite songs and you can leave the rest up to me. The name of the bar and the phone number are all there on the sign to be seen clearly. Just wait. The opening night will be a hit and the bar will just take off by word of mouth. Money couldn't pay for exposure like this, dude. It couldn't. A place like Princeton, products just have to speak for themselves. Have you called her yet? If you don't, I will."

"I still say he's going to kill you," Luke snorted and pulled out his cell phone to bring Tab's number up.

Aiden shrugged. "But at least I'll be able to have a popular place for my wake," he pointed out. "The London in Princeton, just good music."

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 1,978

Ohhhhh

2009-06-08T05:07:59Z

[Follows THIS]

I call BEST MAN PAYBACK! Bring. it. on!

Of ALL the songs in the world?

2009-05-14T11:32:17Z

Your Love Song Is You and Me

by Lifehouse

"Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you"

For you, love is very intense and a little difficult to express.

What Love Song Are You?

just_1_word | 27.9. Marriage

2009-05-01T11:30:34Z

27.9. Marriage

Co-written with asinthecity
[Follows THIS]

It was over. It was all said and done. After being torn what felt like eight new arseholes by Riley, Luke managed to absorb what Tab's brother was saying behind his words and realised what a totaldickwad he was being. He still couldn't explain the panic attack and before he returned to the guest house, he phoned his sister who was a doctor to come check him over because he still felt shaky and sick. Nerves, panic, stress... he was going to need one fuck of a honeymoon after this, she told him. She helped get him cleaned up, somehow found him a new shirt considering the other one was ruined from sweat, and he made it to the wedding ceremony no more than ten minutes late. Luckily, the brides were fifteen minutes late, so he didn't fuck that tradition up either.

The whole thing now felt like a dream in his head. It went without a hitch. Riley still looked like he wanted to exasperatingly strangle him but kept his cool in front of all the guests.Lachlan kept whispering things to Riley from his side, and Luke highly suspected the Scot was reminding Riley what the maximum penalty for murder and grievous bodily harm were. It was later at the wedding reception thatLachlan pulled Luke aside and told him he had cold feet on his wedding day, too, and the whole panic attack thing was understandable. Luke still felt like a tosser.

But Tab looked amazing, and even though she hadn't gone for a traditional wedding dress (Luke never expected she would), she still looked every bit the bride she was meant to be. His bride. And he found that in the aftermath, there in the flesh facing the ceremony, he was really okay with that. They tied the knot and it was wonderful. Maybe it was just inevitable that things in their Princeton and New York bunch would never come off without a hurdle or two... yet once they jumped them, things seemed perfect. Riley and Evie's turn was just as amazing, though probably more on account of the fact everyone in the room knew the ceremony was far from their last hurdle to be faced. The reception was now well on the way and Luke excused himself from Ali and Andrew to slip outside. He sucked in a deep breath of fresh spring night air and looked up at the stars. Yeah, Riley was right. He could still be free with someone at his side.

With Tab at his side.

Tab was still wondering about Luke's panic attack, but she hadn't had a chance to talk to him about it. She wasn't sure she wanted to. As the ceremony started, she really had been questioning whether or not he was still there for them, or for Riley in case her brother murdered him. Her fears were eased the moment they locked gazes, and she could see in his eyes that he loved her and he really wanted to be there. It had helped put the smile on her face again, her brown eyes lighting up with their familiar sparkle.

When she saw him slip outside, she excused herself from Aiden with a wink and followed her husband. The word still made her want to giggle, but it felt right. Despite everything, Tab knew that Luke was it for her. She'd be lost without him by her side. He was the first guy that still let her be herself while giving her the support she needed, and he was the first guy that let her really take care of him in turn. Even if she sucked at it occasionally.

Her hand slipped into his as she stood beside him, her dress swapped for a short skirt, boots, and halter-neck top. "I'm sorry I never stopped to think this might be putting pressure on you,smexy."

Luke nearly jumped when she took his head. Clearly his brain was broken and really did need a good honeymoon to recharge. His attention span seemed to have dwindled to that of an ant following all the stress. He gave her a small smile and then laughed softly. "You have nothing to apologise for. I'm the one who should be on his knees grovelling in apology. And I am sorry. I really don't know what happened," he admitted, realising it was a hazy blur in his mind now.

"Well, I won't turn down you being on your knees, but I don't want it to be in apology," Tab smirked as she looked up at him. Tab stretched up a little to brush her lips against Luke's jaw before she relaxed against him and stroked her other hand over his chest. "Neither do I, but hey... we did it. We're married, and the world didn't end."

Luke shook his head in amusement. "Seriously, it felt like it was going to earlier. I felt like I was dying, then there was nearly being killed by your brother. Remind me to never, ever piss Riley off again for the rest of my life. Ever," he said with a nod for emphasis.

"This is the part where I go along with the obey part of the vows, right?" Tab teased lightly. "I wouldn't let Riley kill you, I promise. If things had gone differently, I might have killed you myself... They didn't though, and you're alive, and we should be celebrating. I don't really care about what happened before. It's done, okay? Let's just get started on our wedding night and being happy. I still just want to say that I'm glad your world didn't end, and I really do love you, Lucas Alexander Jackson."

"Start? I thought we already were celebrating. I just don't want to dance next to Aiden and Pat. They're gay and make me look like a dancing elephant. Why do the gay guys get all the talent?" Luke joked, taking in another long breath of fresh air. That choking, panicked feeling was still fresh in his mind. The air was a luxury he was welcoming again. "I love you too," he told her and gave her a kiss. "Youshould've stayed in the dress."

"I can go and put it back on," Tab said as she looked down at what she was wearing. "Just found it a little hard to walk in. And you're not a dancing elephant. I think you're good. Gay guys get all the talent because straight guys are clearly too obsessed with boobs to care. Gay guys just multitask better." She started to laugh as she hugged her arms around him. "Do you want to dance out here?"

Luke exhaled slowly and looked down at her. "You don't think we should talk about what happened? I realise I might've made it now that you're never going to fully stop worrying if I'll run again and I'm sorry for that. I wish I could say I was caught up in my own selfish little universe, but it wasn't even that. I guess I just worried that everything was going to change," he admitted, hearing the music in the distance. Thank god there had been no Queen yet.

Tab dropped her head, and tried to swallow down a hard lump in her throat. "I don't want to cry," she admitted quietly. "I don't want this to be sad. It was hard enough having Riley tell me you'd run in the first place. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and then stomped on. I never thought... I got scared too, but I didn't want to run. I just knew that you were it... I only want you. I just--I couldn't lose you. I didn't know what I was going to do if you didn't come back. I hated the idea that I pushed you away."

"I really don't know what happened. You didn't push me, but I think it all did just happen so fast. I'm not used to doing things that quickly in my life. I usually take my time, work through a process and see the end product eventuate. With having the new bar to focus on, I guess I just used it as a way to hide. I didn't realise how much I was panicking before it was too late and, my god, I never want to have another panic attack in my life. One minute I swear, I was okay, and the next I wasn't." Luke wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry. You have to understand that all of this was just because I needed a bit more time to adjust to the changes. It doesn't mean I didn't want them."

"I know it was quick, but I... Luke, do you have any idea what you've given me?" Tab asked as she brought her head up to look at him. "Ever since that first day we met, do you even realise what kind of impact you've had on my life? I know it was quick... I do. And maybe it was selfish, too... but I wasn't going to let go of something that had been the best thing to happen to me in a long time."

Luke held her tight. It was exactly what he needed to hear right now. "I'm not going to say I didn't know. I guess I just didn't take time to stop and really look at us, you know? We just seemed to carry on each day and things were great, until all of a sudden, the wedding was two weeks away. It was like I blinked and missed some important parts of it all. My brain didn't seem to be able to latch onto the fact we went from that day on the sidewalk in New York to here, facing marriage, and the rest of our lives. I didn't want anything to change and I was deluded. Probably why I panicked so much. I realised there was no time to stop and catch up. Especially not with Riley nearly taking me out with my own shirt," he added, laughing. "He helped me realised I didn't need to catch up because I was already here."

Tab shifted in his hold to take his face in her hands and raised on tiptoes as she brought his forehead against hers to make this moment even more private. "Luke, you've already given me just about everything in those vows since the first day we met. I'd like to think I've maybe given you the same, but sometimes I wonder. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell you how much I care about you, but I hope I can always show it. I'm sorry for what happened, and I'm sorry you nearly died from your own shirt... I just love being here right now, though. I love that I'll always be by your side."

Luke frowned a little, watching her face closely. "Why do you wonder that?" he asked.

Tab tried to hold his gaze, but her eyes shifted for a moment as she also shifted the weight of her body from one foot to the other. "Because... I've never been very good at looking after someone. I don't know if you think you can talk to me or not about anything, or know that I'll always be here to help. I'll always hold your hair back when you vomit, and take care of you with Man Flu. But I'd also be the one there to hold you when you're sad, or whatever. I just didn't know if you knew that, that's all. I know I must seem... I don't know. I'm not just Riley's sister. I need you just as much as I need him. And I want you to feel like you can need me as much as you need to need me. If that makes sense."

Luke nodded and considered her words for a few moments before he answered. "Let's just say I think I had some underlying issue somewhere that I subconsciously thought you didn't need me so much. Which is totally fucked up. I can see that now. I just think what you have with Riley is fantastic. I really do. I'm in awe of it, really. And he knows how to take care of you so well. He would die for you in a heartbeat. And I'm not jealous of that in any way because you deserve to have a brother like that, no matter what. But the twin wedding thing, I guess it left me feeling on some level that I wasn't your protector. But you know what? I can see now that I am, only just in a different way to Riley. I was so overwhelmed and all the wrong things were confusing me," he admitted. "And before now, I've never really needed anyone to take care of me. I just always faced things on my own and very little actually affected me. Life was just a cool adventure. Can you believe it when I say that it was only this afternoon that I realised for the first time that I really did need you. When I was freaking out, all I wanted was you but I convinced myself you would be too pissed off that I ran to come."

Tab gave him a lopsided smile as some tears slid down her cheeks and she wiped them away. "You fucking idiot," she laughed quietly. "I would've come. Nothing would've stopped me. I probably would have yelled at you for making me cry and forcing me to have my make-up undone since I hate having to sit still for that long, but I would have come. I'm always going to be here for you. I understand now how you must have felt, and I am really sorry I had to make you go through that." She pulled him in for a soft kiss and then pressed her lips to his forehead. "Guess we're both good at seeing the whole picture after the fact."

Luke wrapped his arms around her again with a choked up laugh and nodded. "We're the opposite to Riley. He obsesses over the whole picture before it even eventuates. He needs to rub off on us a little more. And it's not your fault, Tab. At all. Ishould've stopped and realised that something was off. I guess I just really wanted it to be as perfect as it was supposed to be. Talk about deluded. I'm not usually that thick," he said wryly. "I guess marriage is a bigger thing to me than I could ever anticipate."

Tab couldn't help but laugh again as she looked up at him. "Good thing your unbelievable hotness counteracts the thickness. I've been blinded by your sexiness this whole time I didn't even notice." She hugged him back, and nuzzled against him. "I think it's big when it's genuine, and when you're really investing yourself into a relationship. It wouldn't be this big if we didn't care."

Luke shook his head. "No, it wouldn't. It's big, and although it's as scary as all fuck, I wouldn't change it," he told her, squeezing her tightly like he never wanted to let go.

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 2,539

musebyquotes | 2.4. David Assael quote

2009-04-30T09:08:54Z

2.4. "They say that blood is thicker than water. Maybe that's why we battle our own with more energy and gusto than we would ever expend on strangers."
- David Assael

Co-written with pullmysteth
[Follows THIS, THIS and THIS]

Josh knew enough to know Riley was serious in his distracted but pointed dismissal and he didn't stick around to wait for the fireworks. Probably more like he didn't actually want to be witness to murder, but Riley had no intentions of killing Luke until he at least got some answers. He still had a forceful grip on the front of Luke's shirt and his eyes were narrowed as he glared at the other man. "You don't want to hurt her, Jackson. Trust me on that," he finally growled once they were alone. "What are you playing at?" he demanded, giving Luke another pointed shove into the fence.

"I can't do this!" Luke repeated, for what felt like the eight hundredth time in half an hour. "I thought I could, but I can't! I'm not ready!"

"Cut the bullshit, Luke!" Riley shouted, gripping Luke's shirt tighter. "You either want to be with her or you don't! This is just to make official! It's a celebration! No one is fucking asking you to slice your balls off and sacrifice them to her on a bloody altar! You agreed to marry her because you want to spend the rest of your life with her! You. said. yes. You practiced the vows. 'Forsaking all others'. Do you know what that means?! Do you fucking know, Luke?! It means just you and Tab, no one else, because that's what getting married is! It's promising to be with someone because they mean the goddamn world to you and you don't want to live without them!"

Luke put a hand up and rubbed it over his face. "But it's not just Tab and me, is it?! It's you and Evie, and a fucking a hundred guests shoved into a house that already feels like it's suffocating me! Everything feels so goddamn rushed and urgent for every other reason than Tab and me! It's alright for you and Evie! You're fucking ready! But this is not me!"

Riley just stared at him in disbelief for all of ten seconds before he finally exploded again. "WHAT IS YOU IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT, ARSEHOLE! Mate! Come on! I'm HIV Positive! I had to come in a cup last week so my fucking sperm could be washed and planted artificially into Evie this week on the off chance that she might get pregnant if it maybe works and you’re chickening out on this wedding because it's suffocating you?! Welcome to the fucking club! Life is fucking suffocating when important things are happening! I have to get married! I want to get married! You had me under the delusion that you felt the same way about Tab as I do for Evie and that maybe today was going to finally be a fucking happy time for us. A special time in our lives that all four of us could share just for the fuck of it! Because we can! Because getting married isn't the end, it's the fucking start and I want you in my family! I want you to take care of my sister because I love you like a goddamn brother! I trust you and I don't fucking trust many people with her!" He let go of Luke's shirt to angrily pace one way and then the other before he had Luke shoved up against the fence again. "By the way, you hurt my sister and fuck her over, I’ll shove the disco ball so far up your arse you'll be sneezing fucking Bee Gees songs!"

"I..." Luke began, faltering at Riley's words. "I don't mean to hurt her. I don't mean to hurt you," he added, his voice quiet and shaky.

Riley released his grip on Luke's collar again and stepped back. He continued to glare, though, his green eyes flashing as he tried to decide what he should do or say next. "Make a fucking decision, Jackson," he said in a low growl, pointing back at the guest house. "You either go back there right now and explain to her that this is too fast for you, and you better fucking pray she forgives you for letting it get this far and letting her hope and get excited, or you show up at the wedding in five minutes and damn well marry her because you love her. If you don't do either of those, you leave and you never so much as come ten feet near her again or I'll smash you within in an inch of your friggen life. It's all or nothing, Jackson, and yeah, it's fucking scary. But suck it up," he snapped. "If you love her, you fucking respect her like she deserves. You don't get to hurt her like this. No one does." He spared Luke another intense look, his green eyes unreadable now, and then turned, stalking back up the drive to where the wedding would take place... with or without Lucas Jackson.

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 822

muses_w_remotes | 12.5. Splash quote

2009-04-30T08:53:45Z

12.5. “Yeah? Well, that's a crock. It doesn't work that way. Look, do you realize how happy you were with her? That is, of course, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. Every day? Come on. Some people will never BE that happy. I'LL never be that happy. What am I talking to you for? You don't know anything.”
| Splash

Co-written with touchkitndie
[Follows THIS and THIS]

The guest house was on a large estate and Luke just ran without really thinking. It was only when he got to the front gates of the estate that he finally stopped, realising he had two directions to choose from. It was only then that the panic attack seemed to finally reach a peak and he bent over, throwing up on the grass by the gates. This would probably be the only time in his life he actually felt relieved to throw up because he normally was a really terrible sick person. It seemed to release some of the tension inside him and he grabbed hold of the fence to brace himself.

He was breathless when he was done and dragged himself up into a position that resembled vertical. His shirt was still sweaty and sticking to him, but the breeze here away from the confines of the guest house was nice and pricked the perspiration on his face to cool him down. His hands were still shaking like he had too much caffeine and his breathing was unsteady and rasping. Never in his life had he had a panic attack and he never wanted another one again. One direction was Princeton and the other was an unfamiliar town. He had no keys to any cars, so it was feet or nothing. He tried to regain his breath as he glanced one way, then the other, rubbing his palm over his stomach which was still sore from the tension.

Josh had been the only one able to give pursuit, chasing the runaway groom through the guest house and then through the grounds. Ironic given his position on marriage, but hey--he was doing this for Riley's sister, and to make sure there wasn't going to be a wedding and funeral. Riley was definitely going to kill Luke if he ever got hands on him. "Hey! Hey, boss!" Josh called as he got closer to Luke. "For a saxophonist you can run really fucking fast. I thought you'd be soft." He braced his hands on his knees as he stopped to catch his breath. "Jesus, this is why I play drums. I just have to sit there and look awesome."

Luke turned around with a frown and then shook his head. "What?" he asked, not really managing to grasp the notion of why Josh was here. "Has the bar burnt down?" he asked, putting his hand up to swipe the thick layer of sweat from his forehead.

"I don't know, in this metaphor is the bar your brain? I'm at the wedding, Jackson. Friend of the other groom and all that. And apparently the only one available to hunt you down." He held up his hands. "Not that I'm really equipped to convince you marriage is a good thing. Other than Tab seems to really love you, and apparently married sex is even hotter than normal, and there's always blow jobs in the morning."

Luke blinked, his forehead creased as he tried to latch onto Josh's sporadic train of thought. "I don't want a blow job," he said, shaking his head. "I just need to get as far away from this place as I bloody can. Tab will understand," he mumbled. At least, he really hope she would. He looked at the Princeton sign post, wondering how long it would take him to walk there.

Josh snorted. "Yeah right, and my dick's made of fucking nougat. Look, you're freaking out and I get that. I would too if it was my wedding. Thing of it is, you've got a fiancee back there who doesn't understand right now why you're trying to run away from her." He wanted to mention Riley, but figured the homicidal twin went without saying. Plus he was trying to talk Luke back to the wedding, or at least his girl. "What exactly are you trying to get away from?"

"Nothing..." Luke began. He had no clue how to answer any questions like that. "Everything. I don't know! Everything is just so fast and big. It's all twins and wedding shit! I don't know any of this. It's like, we just got engaged! Then it's all a rush because Riley and Evie want to get knocked up or whatever! And she doesn't do fucking commitment, either! She's going to realise it was a mistake and it'll be all over! It's just... none of this is me."

Josh stared at him. "Are you seriously telling me that it was so fast you never once thought to tell her no? Explain that it was too quick? If it really wasn't what you wanted, you shouldn't have let it get this far. And also? That little redhead has been bouncing around the guest house for two days. If I hear one more chorus of her 'I'm getting married, so stick that up your arse' song one more time... you won't have to worry about doing a runner because I'll kill her."

"No, I didn't fucking think, okay?!" Luke snapped, starting to pace restlessly back and forth by the gates. "I thought I was just tired or stressed or sick or anything but this! You don't know! You're the fucking epitome of sex without commitment! You're Tab with a cock!" His cell phone in his pocket started to ring but he ignored it. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to stop feeling like a great pile of shit.

"So people keep telling me, but the way I hear it--she proposed to you. No fucking epitome of sex without commitment does that, even when they're drunk. There has to be something deep down that drives them to. Tab doesn't hide the deep down. If you even took one moment to think about that disgustingly gooey eyed look she gives you, I think you'd know that." Josh stabbed a finger in the direction of the guest house. "Look, be afraid all you want, but don't be a fucking prick about it. At least go talk to her yourself."

Luke shook his head. "She was caught up with her brother. That happens when you're a twin. She was just confused because Riley was heading towards the commitment thing," he said, folding his arms across his chest and looking down at the grass. "Which I have no problem with, but sometimes I can't see where Tab ends and Riley begins."

"Way to give your girl credit for not having her mind," Josh commented with a wry smile. "Tab doesn't strike me as someone who does something she doesn't want to do. Otherwise I'd be up there right now trying to do her regardless of Riley's promise to lynch me. No offense, mate. Just being honest. So you need to at least go and make sure I don't fuck you over. If you bail on this without a word, how do you expect for her to just go back to being your girlfriend, or something? If you even want to be with her. With them. And just a tip, but Riley's the big tall one with glasses and a dick."

Luke shook his head with a small snort of a laugh. "He would, you know. Lynch you. And it wouldn't be pretty." He pushed his hand through his hair, trying to shake the crawling, panicked feeling still creeping through him. "I just... I get one shot at this. I'm not doing it again, ever. No matter what. And it doesn't feel like it has anything to do with me. I feel totally separated from it all and I have done from day one. You know, I love that she proposed to me because I wouldn't have asked her that soon because right up until New Year, she was still in limbo about her relationship past. I wouldn't push her, but even then, I feel like I fucked up something I was supposed to do properly and right, because it happens once. I'm the guy who had to have his girlfriend propose to him and maybe that's just screwed my whole notion of marriage up somewhere along the line because I feel like I'm a step behind everyone else!"

"Oh, Christ," Josh groaned as he pushed his fingers through is hair. Now more than ever he felt ill-equipped to be dealing with this. "Look, if it's really that much of a deal for you, march up there and bloody propose to her! I'm not going to pretend to know anything about marriage, but I think the point is declaring your love for someone, and promising to stand by them no matter what. Which you've done since day one, if what Riley says is true. And sometimes it's sacrificing something for them. Like going along with a twin wedding." Josh shrugged, and shuffled his feet as he tried to work out what else to say. "He's going to lynch you too, if you don't at least go see her. She doesn't deserve to have her heart broken by a messenger."

If Luke was going to answer, he would've wasted his breath. Riley had spotted them from up the drive and swooped on them angrily. He had the front of Luke's shirt seized in his hand and pushed him up against the fence with a small growl. "Thanks, Josh," he said, even though his eyes were firmly on Luke. "You and I are going to talk, mate," he told his soon-to-be brother-in-law. "And I will hurt you if you try to screw me over without giving me the courtesy of listening."

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 1,595

just_1_word | 27.8. Leave

2009-04-30T08:05:12Z

27.8. Leave

Co-written with paramedically
[Linked to THIS]

Luke gripped his hand around his shirt collar and tie, trying to tug it away from his throat. They were too tight and it didn't help that the back of his neck was so sweaty, the fabric was plastered uncomfortably to his skin. He leaned over the sink in the bathroom, avoiding looking at his reflection in the mirror. He felt like he wanted to throw up, but he just couldn't quite get to that point to find relief. His stomach felt like it had a vice gripped around it, and between his chest and throat, it felt like a fist was choking him and trying to cut off his air supply. His hands were shaking and the sweat was pouring off him. He really wanted to blame the suit. He wasn't used to wearing suits and it felt claustrophobic. The whole guest house felt claustrophobic.

It was a wedding. His wedding. He was about to get married, right here, right now. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't link all the chaos going on around him to the fact he was supposed to be getting married. But it had all come so quick. Four months nearly to the day that he and Tab got engaged, but it felt like it had literally just happened yesterday. He felt severed from the situation; like he was watching it from afar and not really involved. Then he wondered if he maybe he was sick. Maybe it was this Swine Flu thing? He did kind of feel like he might be dying. He gripped hold of the edge of the sink, dry retching with still no relief, which could probably be account to the fact he had hardly eaten the last two days leading up to the wedding. What the hell was wrong with him?

Luke had been in the bathroom for close to half an hour now, and Andrew was worried. He couldn't even get a momentum up on the crutches to pace. He stopped in front of the en suite door and knocked. "Luke, if you don't open the door, I'll knock it down," he warned. Normally he wouldn't give two tosses if his cousin wanted to stay in the bathroom for half an hour. Hell, he wouldn't give a shit if he wanted to stay in there all week. Luke wasn't what could be called a 'loner', but he effectively usually tackled life with a solitary attitude. Which was why it was even more surreal for Andrew to be standing here as Luke's Best Man on his wedding day. If bets had been taken in their family, it would've been predicted that Andrew would've beaten Luke down the aisle, and likely that Luke wouldn't have gotten married at all.

But Andrew thought it was fantastic that Luke had found someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He could still be the free spirit he was with someone at his side, and Tab seemed to be his perfect match. Only, waving the scary wedding flag in Luke's face could be a lot more psychological than just anticipating getting married. Plus, the wedding had turned out to be quite a big deal. It was an official ceremony with a lot of guests. Plus, twin wedding. That was huge. Not at all like Andrew would've anticipated Luke tie the knot when and if the time came. Aiden seemed to have the right notion there. He and Patrick avoided all this stress and nerves by just doing it. But that was Luke's forte and now he was faced with something out of his depth, Andrew was worried his cousin might be heading for a freak out, if his behaviour the last couple of weeks were anything to go by. He had been snappy, short, broody and distance - completely out of character for Luke in general.

Andrew banged on the door again. "Come on, mate," he pleaded. "The ceremony is due to start in about forty five minutes! You need to be there in about twenty!"

The words were like flicking a switch in Luke's brain and a sheer panic washed over him like a wave crashing against the shore. It almost felt like he was going to pass out and a throbbing started in his ears. He felt his way over to the bathroom door and pulled it open, shaking his head slightly. "I can't do this," he rasped, breath starting to come out in small pants. "I-I can't get married. I thought I could. I can't. It's going to ruin everything. Things are too good. This is going to ruin it all and I'll lose her. She's not going want this. She'll realise what's she's done and won't want it. He said! He said she didn't do commitment."

He shook his head, pushing past Andrew and peeling the tuxedo jacket off. His shirt was clinging to his sweaty torso and he struggled to loosen the tie next. "I don't do commitment," he added, the words coming out at a panicked speed. "I can't get married! I'm not ready. Why do we have to get married just because Riley is? The twin thing... I-I get it. I do. Hell, I think it's awesome they get to experience something like being that connected to someone. But I'm not a twin! I don't... I..." He faltered, losing his momentum as he gave the tie a firm tug and it finally came loose from his neck. "I have to get out. I can't do this!"

"Luke!" Andrew cried in shock. He had been expecting it on some level, sure, but he really hadn't expected a Lucas Jackson meltdown of this proportion. Luke was usually so cool and laid back. This was off the meltdown scale for him. Not to mention the fact he looked ill. But Andrew was a paramedic knew the signs when he saw them. "Wait, Luke! You're having a panic attack. Sit down and I'll get you a paper bag to breathe into. It'll be fine. It's just making it official, man. That's all. Nothings going to change."

Luke just shook his head again, Andrew's words just sweeping over his head and getting lost in the panic. "No, I can't," he said again and without looking back, bolted for the door. He just had to get out of there before the walls crushed him. He'd make it up to Tab later. Somehow. She had Riley, she didn't need Luke. She always seemed okay when Riley was there. She'd be fine.

Luke, on the other hand, could be a whole other story.

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 1,105

just_1_word | 26.6. Work

2009-04-29T08:44:31Z

26.6. Work

Co-written with touchkitndie | Backdated to after THIS

Josh was still wearing sunglasses as he stepped into the bar. As soon as the door swung closed he pushed them up onto his head and let his eyes adjust as he looked around. The scrap of paper tucked into the back pocket of his pants had the time and address scrawled on it, and for a moment he thought he'd got it wrong. There was no one there waiting for him, and he scratched the back of his neck as he stood there awkwardly. There were noises coming from a backroom and Josh was smirking as he imagining Luke and Riley's sister going at it. Then he imagined Riley smacking him in the back of the head for thinking about his sister that way and tried to think about something else.

He walked around the room a bit to try and get a feel for the what the place was going to look like. He could see the red, black, and silver theme starting to come together. He was almost envious of any band that would get to play this space, but if he worked here, and if it was true about Lachlan recording with Tab, then it was possible he might get a regular gig again yet. Fuck, he missed playing with decent musicians. Even more than he missed a decent lay that didn't involve bathing in disinfectant afterwards.

Luke came out of the backroom with an armful of painting drop sheets and his cell phone locked between his ear and shoulder. He hadn't heard anyone come into the bar and figured he would be alone for the rest of the day with Riley and Tab meeting up for some twin thing or another. Truth was, Luke had been relieved in some alone time. Everything felt like it was rushing towards him at a rapid pace but at the same time, he felt separate from everything going on. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't come to think of it as his wedding in his mind. The mental block was doing him no good and just seemed to create a tight stress headache that felt like a band constantly was wrapped around his forehead and gradually being pulled tighter and tighter.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw the unfamiliar person standing in the middle of the bar. "Fuck, mate. I nearly shit myself," he said, dropping the sheets to the floor. It was only then that his scattered mind let him remember the appointment with Lachlan's drummer. Yes, Lachlan referred to the guy in present tense and always had, despite apparently not playing in the same band for a few years now. "Josh King, yeah?" he asked, taking his cell phone back into his hand and snapping it closed. Aiden still wasn't answering.

Josh had watched the the guy with amusement, and gave a nod. "Yeah, that's me. Well, that's what the inside of my underwear says, anyway." He stepped forward to offer his hand. "Luke Jackson? Sorry if I caught you at a bad time. Riley mentioned you guys were still working on the place. This could have waited for another day."

Luke took Josh's hand and shook it firmly. "Not at all, mate. It's cool. This is an ongoing thing for the moment. I could use the interruption, really. Can I get you a drink? Coke, beer, water, RJ's milk?" he asked with a laugh. "Did you have a good flight?"

"RJ? Campbell's spawn? Is there a reason you've got his milk here?" Josh rubbed the side of his face. His initial urge was to ask for a beer, but this was supposed to be about a job. Josh wasn't knowing for always behaving himself, but he did generally know when it was required. Like now. He'd even put on a nice clean shirt, and underwear. Not to mention rocking up on time. "Coke's fine, cheers. You really planning on spending the rest of the day doing this yourself? Even if I don't get the job, I'll stick around and give you a hand if you want."

Luke nodded and went over to the fridge they had set up. It was one of the first things that had been moved in. Hard work meant the vital need for cold drinks. "Lachlan and the rugrat were here yesterday afternoon helping us paint. Hence the giant penis and hand giving the bird painted on the wall over there." He gestured with the can of Coke to the wall in question and then handed it to Josh. "The milk just got left over by accident. The lad needs to be feed more often than most kids his age."

He sat down on one of the boxes and waved his hand for Josh to join him. "Tab's with Riley for the afternoon, so I figured I'd just keep going. I won't turn down any help, though. How are you with a paintbrush? You can just chill a bit too, mate. I'm hardly a conventional boss, and have never had conventional interviews. I only hire people I can actually carry a normal conversation with. This whole bar thing I really only just stumbled into myself a few years back."

"You haven't really talked to Lachlan about what I'm really like then, have you?" Josh chuckled as he took a seat on one of the other boxes. He cracked open the can of coke and took a sip. "Normal conversations with me are just about impossible. I get distracted easily. Not in a bad way, just tend to go off on tangents sometimes." He turned his head to grin at the picture. "Should've recognised his handiwork. Trust him to leave you with that mural when he was supposed to be helping. What made you get into the bar business? What were you doing before? Riley mentioned you hit on his sister while you were busking, or something."

Luke laughed. "He had nothing but praise to say about you, mate. He has this knack of respecting all sides of his mates, no matter what. It sounds like you'll get along well with Tab. Seriously, though, mate. I'm looking for good workers and if you can do that whilst still going off on tangents, we'll be cool." He looked around at the progress in the bar. "I wanted a place that offered good music where people like me who loved it could just rock up and play, whenever they wanted, whatever they wanted. The only problem was, New York can be cliquey. Suburbs, genres, tastes, styles. It was hard to find somewhere to play without already being a professional muso. You don't have to want to be pro to play music. I'm pretty much one of those. So, I made a place. Totally selfish, but it turns out I wasn't the only one looking for a place like that and it took off. Now it's a function venue, we have competitions, Karaoke nights, free-for-all mic nights, jamming sessions for people who want to play with bands but aren't actually in a band. And we offer good drink and dancing to go along with it. That's basically the ins and outs of it. We hope this place will be just like it."

He nodded with a smirk. "Something like that. I'm not really backwards in coming forwards myself. Only, I caught her right after a rebound fuck and she wasn't interested. We met again, though. Her friend brought her to the bar one night. She didn't realise I was one, more than just a street busker, and two, owned the place."

Josh nodded as he listened. "Sounds like you know what you want, and what you want I can pretty much fucking agree with. Thing about Edinburgh is that it's kind of the same. If you're not in one of the decent bands, or don't know anyone from 'em, you're doomed to playing the shitholes, and joining coverbands. I'll admit I've basically been a session player for a year now. Things have kind of sucked since we lost Yodalan to this side of the ocean. I just want to check what it is exactly that you need me to do since Lachlan was really only talking in passing, and probably wasn't certain I'd ever come to Princeton. Something about managing the place? Or did I get that arse backwards?"

Josh snorted out a chuckle. "Those rebound fucks can be killer, I've been one more often than not. That being said, at least she had the ex out of her system before you. Better you weren't the rebound fuck. Sounds like things clicked into place though, what with the upcoming nuptuals. Congratulations, mate."

"That band you guys had has a deep place in his heart. I get the sense he misses it when he talks about it. I don't really know the ins and outs of why he came to Princeton. I've only been in the picture with the group since late last year. Plus I know he's had a lot on his plate since getting here. I think he's going to be over the moon when he finds out you're here. I think once you connect musically with someone, you never really lose that." Luke stretched his tired muscles a little. "I'm definitely looking for a manager. I'll stretch my time between the two places, but I actually live in New York. We're just here in Princeton temporarily to get the bar up and running. Plus it gave Tab time with Riley after he had that bad patch. But there's no way I have the time to run both places and I need someone I can trust in the driver's seat here. I figure you've played in bars and drink in bars, so you'll know what the clientele want. In my experience, it's not those with management degrees who make the best managers, it's someone who loves what they do and loves why they do it. Good music, drinking, dancing... if you understand that, then we're on the same page."

He smiled. "Cheers, mate. Didn't actually think I was the marrying sort, but hey. Here we are."

"Hm." Josh tugged on a lock of his hair as he turned over the job description in his mind. He definitely liked to think he knew what it took to manage a bar given how often he could walk into a place and see everything that was wrong with it. "Lachlan's just... well, he's Lachlan. Play with him even for a night and you usually wind up in withdrawal soon enough. He's a bastard that way. Worse than crack. So you'd be going back to New York soon after it's up and going? Makes sense. It's a cool idea, though. Good district too. Promise not to harrass the clientele and abuse my position of power to get a lay from the college girls," Josh snickered. He held up a hand in apology. "The dancing might be a bit of a question mark. Just because I can keep the beat doesn't mean I can dance to it."

"Seems to be a lot of that going around," Josh said with a shrug as he offered Luke a smile.

Luke just laughed. "Hey, if you pull, I don't give a shit. Just wait until your shift is over to do it. No giving out freebies either unless you pay for them yourself. I just want someone in here who loves the place for all the reasons I do. I can take care of the ownership shit from New York. Aiden does absolutely all of my marketing and I have an accountant. All ordering, hiring, firing, etc cetera I mostly take care of myself. But don't feel like I'm going to throw you in the deep end. I'll stick by you until you get a feel for what has to be done to run the place," he promised. "Have you got any questions about anything?"

"What about playing during my shift? What's the hours, and pay? Oh, and do I get medical? Isn't that something you're supposed to ask? It's been a while since I've done one of these things. I'm rusty. I did manage to put on some pants this time," Josh added with a grin. He looked too proud to be joking. "I guess it doesn't really start until this place is finished, yeah? Like I said, I'm still happy to help out with the, ah, rennovation."

Luke waved his hand. "If things are going okay and you can make sure your head bartender has things in order, then you can play. I'm cool with that. Hours will be shifts, of course. We'll open from midday on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, but four pm every other day. Open til late every night, which usually means we close around two or three by the time we clean up and shut shop. We won't open at all on Mondays. I'm thinking about doing Tuesdays and Thursdays here myself, so if you want Monday and Tuesday as your weekend, that's cool. The hours tend to be flexible according to the crowds anyway. If it's a quiet night, we'll close early. Full benefits included, and don't worry, you'll wrap your head around the employment system here sooner or later." He pressed his lips together in thought. "If you're happy to work at a reduced pay until the place opens, I can hire you now to help us get the work done. I can't technically hire you on management salary, see, because we're not an operating business."

Josh shrugged. "Happy to do it for free, mate. Mostly I just like keeping my hands busy when I'm not playing." He also liked to keep his dick busy, but maybe he should just keep it in his pants for a couple days and see if that somehow managed to save some of the decent girls for when he really needed it. "You really don't fuck about, do you? I like that. I don't think I've ever got a gig this quick. Unless you count playing one song with Lachlan and scoring the drum spot in the band. Also seemed to remember that ended up with us all drunk out of our skulls and trying to get our underwear off without taking our pants off. Bras are easier."

"Why am I not surprised?" Luke laughed. "I promise I don't need an audition like that. If you want to run around in the nick, just don't go outside and get arrested. Bad PR and Aiden will murder me with his bare hands. So, you miss being part of a band, then? You might be able to inject a bit of Lachlan's music mojo back into him. Hell, when I first came onto the scene, he wouldn't even touch his guitar. Not at all."

"Now that is a crying shame," Josh said as he drank some of his Coke. "Talent like that shouldn't be wasted, but I think I get it. He must have found it hard to do much of anything after the shooting. And yeah, I do miss being part of a band. Scratch that, a good band. Been playing with a few rejects lately that make me want to stab my eyes out with my sticks. I promise not to run outside in the nude. Wouldn't want to sully the future good name of the bar."

"Tab helped him tap into it a little. She was recording and he went to hang out with her one day apparently. They played together and the rest is history. They're brilliant together. You lot should form a band. I can supply at least two venues and there gonna need some sort of rhythm for their album. Lachlan's already about demanded everything bar gold-plated toilet paper from the agent and still kept him keen. He could demand a drummer. Would you be into the whole recording thing?" Luke asked curiously.

Josh smirked. "Mate, I'm into anything that Campbell's involved in. Can't say much about your woman, though. I might have to try and filch the CD from somewhere. Unless she's into singing on demand. If they need a drummer, I'll happily offer my services. Not surprised he's had the reps on the go... He always was a smiling assassin. Probably didn't realise what they were getting with him."

Luke shook his head. "I doubt it. They'll have their hands full with both Tab and Lachlan. I just steer clear when they're doing the music thing. I'm a musician, but I'm not that passionate about it. I'm kind of like the Caffeine Free Diet Coke musician in comparison to them. They're brilliant, though. The album's going to be something. I'm hoping to coax Lachlan into being a regular gig here, but so far he keeps resisting."

"Caffeine Free Diet Coke, huh? At least you still know how to run a bar, and you're not just some failed musician trying to make like he's something else." Josh grinned. "Hey, with me in his ear, I bet I could get him to agree. Not like he can refuse if I'm managing. So, want me to start, or what? And if I definitely have the job... mind if I switch to beer?"

Luke nudged Tab's abandoned roller and tray in Josh's direction. "Go for it. The colour map for all the walls is taped to the door. It's pretty straightforward. Beer's in the fridge, help yourself. I'm curious, though. Tell me where you'd really like to be, career-wise. If you could choose anything right now, what would it be."

"Mitch Mitchell," Josh answered without thinking about it. "That doesn't automatically make Campbell Hendrix, though. Different breeds. Still both insanely talented. I'm not a frontman, and I don't pretend to be. I'm just a shit hot drummer that needs a shit hot frontman, or frontwoman, to show off my assets."

Luke laughed and nodded. "Fair enough. I get the feeling you would've followed Lachlan right to stardom if he recorded all those years ago. I saw you guys play at their wedding, on the video, mind. Videos rarely do a live act justice. There's video of the Karaoke comp he sung in with Tab somewhere. You'll have to check it out. They totally rocked. Won, of course. There was no doubt they were going to. Aiden had a lot to do with the publicity and I think Lachlan only ended up going through with it because it was for MS. I am intrigued, though. I'm fascinated watching true talent at work. It's probably why it was never much effort for me to kick the New York bar off in the first place."

"So really you're just a fanboy," Josh snickered as he picked up the roller and took a look at the wall. "I'll definitely have to check out that footage. Be interesting to see Riley's sister in action. Three years I had to listen to him talk about her, and never be able to put a voice to the name. He had pictures of her, so the face was easy. As for Lachlan, well, he's always been a bit strange. I think the moment he had more than just himself to worry about his priorities shifted. Which is fine. He fits into this life a little too well."

"They're tight," Luke agreed without hesitation. "I guess most would get shitty with how close they are. Bottom line is, they both come first before anyone else. I mean, they're part of each other. It's the way it goes. Apparently her ex had some issues with all the time she spent with her brother, but they had been apart for three years. Who could blame her? Evie and I just got it, and I think if we didn't, we wouldn't be here right now. The twin thing is pretty cool, even if they scare me sometimes with the psychic thing."

Josh arched an eyebrow. "Psychic thing? Please don't tell me they have glowing eyes, or some shit."

Luke smirked. "Like Pat and his brother, only they're more freaky than Riley and Tab on account of the identical thing. But yeah. Tab and Riley, they know when something's wrong with each other. I swear sometimes they know what each other is thinking a lot of the time, too. It's funny. But when she tells me she needs to see Riley right now, it's freaky."

Josh nodded in understanding. "Yeah, right... I get it. I mean, I don't, but I do. Although just between you and me, I was sure there was some eye glowing action between Pat and Cam. At least with Riley and Tab there's no getting in bed with the wrong twin."

"Did that really happen, with Pat and Cam, I mean?" Luke asked, eyebrows shooting up. "I heard some of the stories but I thought people were just pulling the piss."

Josh just smirked. "Yeah, but I'll leave it to ya imagination to guess whether it was a gay climbing into Cam's bed, or some woman feeling up young Pat."

Luke had to stop and think on the scenarios for a moment before he burst out laughing. "It was a woman feeling up Pat, wasn't it? Please tell me it was. It'll keep me going for weeks with the imagery. Poor bastard." He shook his head in amusement. "I so need to tell Aiden that one."

"My lips are sealed, mate." Josh started laughing himself before he scratched the back of his neck. "Ask me again after a couple beers, though. I'll give you the gory details."

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 3,604

muse_shuffle | April Disc Two

2009-04-20T09:31:26Z

09. Do you not hear me anymore
I know its not your thing
To care
I know its cool to be so bored
But it sucks me in when you’re aloof
It sucks me in, it sucks it works
I guess its cool to be alone
[‘Battle of Who Could Care Less’ – Ben Folds Five]

Co-written with asinthecity

Luke set the roller back down in the paint tray and stepped back to wipe some sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of his overalls, pushing his hair out of his face in the process. He analysed the wall they were painting, having opted for a red, black, and silver theme for the Princeton bar. A whole red wall could be confronting, but this behind the bar worked, and would work even better once they mounted the black and white photos of classic rock bands there and close up black and white photos of instruments, courtesy of Beth. The original idea had been to make it a carbon copy of the Bondi, but Luke wanted Tab to be part of this bar. As such, it turned into a sister bar for The Bondi, the name coming easy... The London. And it was working better than Luke had hoped. In fact, maybe he was throwing himself into it a little too much lately, considering the infamous twin wedding was just a week away.

He picked up his can of Coke and took a long drink. If all went well, they could have the bar up and running by the end of June, just in time for the end of the school year and summer. It should work out perfectly. It was a university town so students would be looking for somewhere to hang out with no classes to attend. Aiden was already working on an intense promo schedule, despite running off and eloping, then spending the last few days puking his guts up. Luke had gotten used to conference calls via Aiden's bathroom.

Tab had her hair both pulled back into a ponytail, and held back with a headband. Her fringe always had a way of getting into her face, and given that they were decorating their bar, she figured it was important to actually see what she was doing. She was already in love with it, even if it was still unfinished. It just had this feel like it was theirs. It really was a partnership. As Luke pulled away to take a break, Tab dropped her own roller and looked down at her pain speckled self. She unzipped her coveralls to reveal the t-shirt underneath and tied the sleeves around her waist as she let out a relieved sigh. "Am I the only one getting sweaty in this thing?"

"Manual labour isn't supposed to be easy," Luke told her with a smirk. He leant against the bench that would soon be ripped out in favour of a shining and sweeping new bar. "Bloody Aiden shirking on us again. His prissy gay arse was supposed to be here helping us. Then your brother has the hide to do something like get called into work. You'd think we were made machines." He was joking, of course. Everyone had been helping them when they could. They even had Lachlan and Baby Riley there the day before, Lachlan in nothing but a wifebeather and his kilt as classic rock blasted out of the small CD player in the corner, all of them getting a good way forward in the painting duties. Luke had thought the loud music would bother the infant, but there was not a single cry the whole time father and son were there. The bar was coming along nicely and they were at least on schedule with it.

"Yeah, well, guess we'll just have to show that we're awesome and can do at least one day on our own. Aiden's probably scared the paint fumes will upset his delicate sensibilities, or he's feeling better so his gay arse is now getting some gay arse action." Tab shrugged as she lifted her arm to see if she was as stinky as she felt. Thankfully manual labour wasn't yet making her so sweaty and disgusting she was getting smelly. "I still feel like I need a bloody shower."

Luke scrunched his nose up. "To be fair, the paint fumes did upset his delicate sensibilities... and the front seat of my car. Every time a doctor goes near him, he's seemingly perfectly healthy, though. He said he'd come by later this afternoon. He's got some genius idea about using The Bondi to promote this place. I just left him to it. Nothing he's ever suggested to me has failed. Not one thing." He finished his drink and threw the can into the bucket they were using as a bin. "We've still got ages before we can go home and relax or we'll never get it all done on time. I want to strip the wall of bathrooms before we leave tonight."

"Stopping myself from developing BO is hardly relaxing," Tab pointed out a with a small pout. Ever since they'd got here it had been all work talk until just now when Luke had mentioned Aiden. She was dying to ask him stuff about the wedding, but she had the distinct feeling he didn't want to talk about it. She huffed out a breath as she reached for her water--part of her diet change--and took a sip before she set it back down, and picked up her roller again. Well, if he wanted to focus on the bar, then she could, too. Although for the briefest of moments she considered rollering over him just to see if he'd smile. Somehow she didn't think he'd find it funny. "Yeah, Aiden's just full of good ideas..."

A text message came through and Luke brought it up on his cell phone. "Scratch that. Aiden won't be coming this afternoon. Jesus. I think the guy is allergic to marriage," he commented and shoved his phone back into his pocket. He picked up the roller again, only to set it back down and top the tray up with the red paint. "There's gotta be a patch for that."

Tab paused mid-stroke and glanced over at her fiance. "A patch for marriage? You really think he's sick because he got married?" Normally she might have been smirking, but her brow creased with a deep frown. "Guess you better find that patch pretty fucking fast then, smexy."

Luke shrugged. "I dunno," he said non-committally. "Seems strange he started puking randomly since he got married. It's either that, or Pat's miraculously knocked him up."

"You never know. Miracles happen." Like Tab proposing in the first place. She was the one with commitment issues, not Luke. And yet Luke was the one acting all weird all of a sudden. "Riley and Evie are doing the IVF thing next week."

Luke nodded, picking up the roller again and covering it in paint. He went back to the spot he left off from. "I hear it's a pretty intense thing. Not that I've ever been personally involved, but it's gotta be stressful. There's no guarantee something like that will work. Plus, it's expensive," he added. "I mentioned it to my sister last time we spoke on the phone. A friend of a friend of the family has apparently been trying IVF and are onto their sixth attempt now."

"Riley and Evie thought they'd give it just one shot, but Riley wound up asking Evie if she'd agree to two. His sperm got full marks and then some, so surely that counts for something? I guess the real key is knowing when to stop." Tab started to paint the wall, focusing on her work. "I don't want Riley to get up to attempt number six... It'd be too hard on him."

"Not when each failed attempt is affectively a miscarriage. That's got to fuck with your head," Luke agreed. "Especially if you really want kids. They've got to think about the whole HIV thing, too. They test the things before they put them into her, apparently. I Googled it."

"I just want my brother to be happy," Tab replied as she pulled her mouth to the side. "And I'd love it if he was a dad, but I don't want him to have to suffer through it... I don't want his heart broken."

Luke reached up to get the highest point on the wall. "Way my Mum says, kids will always break your heart, no matter what. They break your heart when they're sad, when they're sick, when they're hurt... when they leave home..." he added, knowing how much it killed his Mum when he moved overseas. "I think your brother's pretty strong. He's taken some hard knocks and he's gotten through them. He's a survivor."

"He almost didn't make it through," Tab reminded him. She stopped to look up at him, and sighed. Children really were a handful. Even if she loved RJ, and wanted her brother to have a kid, she still didn't want anything to do with them. The idea of her and Luke having kids wasn't something that appealed to her yet. They still needed to get through their wedding. "I don't think I have my something blue, something borrowed, something new, and something old," she said suddenly.

Luke hesitated in the painting and cleared his throat. "Maybe Evie can help you with that," he said and his painting picked up with a little bit more pace this time. "Or Tara."

Tab just shrugged, and looked at the roller in her hand. "Maybe. It's fine, just forget it. Not like it's anything important."

"I don't get any of the bride stuff," Luke replied, loading the roller with more paint. He was sweating again from the effort of the work. "Ask Pat. He's the resident newlywed. Less than a day's notice and their wedding photos still look great."

"Because they're in love. They don't need much more when that's pretty fucking obvious in the photos." Tab slopped paint as she got a little aggressive with the roller and huffed out a breath as she tried to smooth it out. Maybe they could hang one of the photos here.

Luke frowned. "What is your problem?" he asked, turning to look at her. "Are you jealous?"

"Of who? Pat and Aiden? No! Fuck off." She tugged at the sleeve of her coveralls and looked up at him. "What's your problem? I haven't been able to talk to you about the wedding for two weeks without you shutting down, giving me minimal sentences, or changing the topic."

"So, you get shitty because Pat and Aiden have it over and done with? Aiden's one of my best mates! Excuse me for being happy for him! What's to bloody talk about?" Luke snapped back and dropped the roller back into the paint. "You can talk about anything you want! What do you want me to say? I know nothing about weddings!"

"Neither do I! How am I the bloody expert? Isn't there anything you want? I don't care about them having it over with! I'm happy for them too, okay? I don't want our wedding over with. I actually want to look forward to it." Tab picked up her roller and ran a line of red paint down the side of Luke's leg.

Luke just looked down at the paint and shook his head in annoyance as he stepped away from her. "We're getting married! In a week! What more do you want? Wasn't the whole point of the twin thing so we didn't have to do it all alone? I thought everything was done! I still don't get what's to talk about all of a sudden!"

Tab threw her roller down, pissed off that her attempt at breaking the mood didn't work. "I don't know! That's the whole fucking point! But we're supposed to be happy right now. Are you happy?"

"YES! I fucking am!" Luke threw back. "You're the one yelling and jumping down my throat, making snide remarks about Pat and Aiden! You seem to be the one with the problem, not me!"

"I wasn't making any fucking snide remarks about them!" Tab hissed. "And if you're happy, then why can't you just fucking smile? And if you're happy then we don't need to be fighting! It's just hard to tell right now."

Luke shook his head and rubbed his forehead. "Then stop fucking yelling. You're making problems out of nothing."

Tab let out a slow breath. "I'm turning into a fucking Bridezilla. You need to take me out back and shoot me. It's the humane thing to do."

"Don't tempt me," Luke murmured, looking at her uncertainly. He wasn't exactly sure what had just happened here. It was stressful enough knowing they were getting married in a week and trying to work on the bar without having her explode at him for no reason. He picked up the roller again and went back to the wall. "Do you want me to get little signs to hang on my forehead so you know my moods at every single moment? I'm sorry my smiles aren't adequate enough."

Tab picked up her own roller again. She opened her mouth to reply, but abruptly shut it again. She wasn't the one who was supposed to be feeling like a bitch, even if she had exploded. Luke was the one with the interchangeable moods and now he was playing innocent. "Do we get to use sledgehammers for the bathrooms?"

"I'm getting professionals in. I'm not sure I want you near me with a sledgehammer right now," Luke told her, intent on painting the wall again.

"Do we even get make up sex?" Tab asked, trying to look innocent as she focused on her own section of wall.

Luke glanced at her. "You expect me to be in the mood after accusing me of being a miserable fuck?"

Tab peeked up at him, and had the decency to look sheepish. "You're still hot when you're being a miserable fuck who apparently isn't really a miserable fuck."

Luke sighed and put the roller down. "Don't you think a bit of miserable is expected of late? There's a lot going on and I'm stressed out. I thought this whole getting married thing meant we were supposed to be cool with each other when things were just off sometimes. Are you going to be tearing me a new one everytime I have a bad day? Because I'm not sure that's how a marriage is supposed to work."

"When have I ever torn you one for having a bad day before?" Tab asked, her gaze back on the wall. "Maybe you should be the one talking to me about whatever's on your mind. That's what a marriage is, isn't it? Talking about things. Sharing things."

"Never, and that's why I'm not sure how to take it all of a sudden," Luke told her. "There's nothing to share. I'm fine. I'm just stressed. Getting married isn't a small thing, Tab. It's not just like going shopping for toilet paper. I have my whole family arriving soon, one of my best mates has just upped and gotten married without telling me, my cousin is all out of sorts which is throwing me because he's usually the grounded one. Did I once push you to talk and be happy when Riley was going through his shit?"

Tab shook her head, her rolling coming to a stop as she dragged her eyes away from the wall to look at her fiancé. "I'm sorry, Luke."

"It's alright, just... everything's cool, Tab. We're going to be fine. You just gotta let it happen because clearly whenever anyone in this place tries to plan stuff, it all goes arse up. So, let's just go with it, yeah? I thought that's what you and me were all about," Luke told her, moving over to her.

Tab dropped her roller and closed the gap so she could get her arms around him. "Yeah, I know... and we are. Just the proposal was the easy part. That was just going with it. But the wedding we kind of know about, and I guess I'm just worried something could change. I love you, smexy. And I do want to marry you. So as long as that doesn't change, the rest I can roll with."

"Something could change. Anything could change. Us lot know that better than anyone else. That's why I don't want to do the whole over-planning thing. That was never me. Pat and Aiden's wedding was more what I thought I would end up doing one day, but it's cool. This is what you want to do. I just don't really mind any of what goes one, really. I just want to turn up on the day and let it happen, yeah?" Luke said with a small sigh as he returned the embrace.

Tab nodded slowly as she exhaled. For some reason this was still bothering her. She always thought eloping might have been the right thing, but she wanted her brother there. She liked the idea of the twin wedding. She tried to push it all out of her mind though, sure it was just her looking for an issue to justify years of hating the idea of marriage. "Yeah. Me too."

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 2,846

From Andy

2009-03-20T05:50:41Z

You Are Cowboy Boots

You are incredibly down to earth and happy with yourself. You don't pretend to be someone else.

You also tend to be very practical. You don't really have a lot of room for fluff in your life.

You are a very honest and direct person. You will give anyone a straight answer, even if it's a bit uncomfortable.

While you're quite sensible, you always like a little bit of flash in your life. You don't overdo it, but you do like turning heads.

What Kind of Boots Are You?

TEXT MESSAGE | To Tab [asinthecity]

2009-03-11T04:50:07Z

WANNA GO 2 NYC? Y/N?

just_1_word | 20.9. Injury

2009-03-10T12:42:37Z

20.9. Injury

Co-written with agentsullivan

[Simultaneous to THIS]

Ali kept a hold of Andrew’s hand as she used his cell phone to look for his cousin’s number. She found it and hit the call button, exhaling slowly as she listened to wait for him to pick up. Andrew was asleep on the narrow hospital gurney, the ER bustling noisily around them beyond the thin curtain pulled around the bay. He had some thick bandages wrapped around his head and his right leg was braced and immobile awaiting a plaster cast. Weren’t the paramedics supposed to be the ones rescuing the injured, not getting injured themselves?

Luke pulled his pen from his mouth and glanced over at his cell phone when it started to ring. He was working through a bunch of figures and facts on a possible venue for the Princeton bar. It was working out perfectly so far and if the estate agent could manage to get the seller to drop the price by a few grand, Luke was thinking they might’ve hit the jackpot. It was a funky little ex pizza place, two stories with a huge back area for possible extension. It would make a great outside stage and beer garden. His mind had been in overdrive since they viewed it. He picked his cell up and flipped it open. “Hello, this is Luke,” he answered, hitting the off key on the calculator.

“Luke, it’s Ali,” she murmured when he answered. “Listen, I was wondering if you could come to New York. Andrew’s been injured on the job. We’ve got him in the ER right now and I just thought you would want to know.” She put Andrew’s hand up to her lips and kissed his fingers softly.

“Fuck, is he okay?!” Luke asked in panic, already pushing back out of his chair. “What happened?”

Ali shrugged a little, even though he couldn’t see her. “I’m not completely sure. He was unconscious when they brought him in. His colleague said they got a call out to a woman who had taken an overdose. Apparently her sister called for the ambulance, but the defacto boyfriend hadn’t wanted them called. Andrew was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The guy shoved him near the stairs of the apartment building and he lost his footing and fell down some of the stairs. He’s hit his head and broke his ankle. The guy got hauled off by the cops and charged with assault. He’s okay. He’s a bit bruised, got a concussion and we’re just waiting for him to get a cast on his leg. I’m going to take him home with me when they discharge him, of course. I just… I mean, you’ve got to watch someone closely with a head injury in the first day or so following it and I’ve got my hands full with Jamie. I don't think I can do it all on my own.” She knew it would be pushing it too far to ask Marc to take the baby girl for the night. “Plus, I knew you would want to know if something happened to him. I tried to call his Mum but she wasn’t answering.”

Luke frowned and rubbed his hand over his face. “Bloody hell. Of course… sure. I’ll come. I’ll see if Tab wants to come. We can give you a hand with anything you need. How is he, though? Concussion alone can tear you a new arsehole.” Tab was at the hospital with Riley visiting the baby. He’d give her a call as soon as he finished talking to Ali.

“They’ve got him a bit drugged up on painkillers for the moment so he’s sleeping. He wasn’t too good, though. The concussion was making him sick and woozy. Plus he expectedly had a hell of a headache. I think he’ll be okay once we get him home in a comfortable bed where there’s no noise or bright lights. This place is like a madhouse,” Ali said, scrunching up her nose wryly.

“You sound tired,” Luke noted. “Are you going to be okay until we get there?”

Ali rested her forehead against Andrew’s hand tiredly. “I’m just drained. I’ll be fine. I think I’ve grown myself quite a set of balls over these last few months. It could be awhile before they come to put his cast on, plus he’s on a drip that still looks mostly full. Call me on my cell when you’re nearly to the city and I’ll tell you if we’re still here or not.”

Luke nodded, understanding well enough how she might be feeling. “Well, you can rest with him when we get there. I can take care of Jamie for you. Just take it easy, Ali. I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he promised.

“Thanks, Luke,” Ali mumbled. “I owe you one.”

“No, you don’t. I’ll just steal your chocolate biscuits when I get to your place,” Luke assured her with a small smirk. “See you soon.”

Andrew Connor [paramedically], Tab Browne [asinthecity], Riley Browne [pullmysteth] & Marcus Fraser [agentfraser] referenced with permission

Word Count | 817

There is one of these tests for everything...

2009-01-21T11:15:07Z

You Take the Road No One Travels

You see romantic love as what's most important in life. A deep connection with someone else is the primary thing you crave.

You live life at a fairly leisurely pace. You take time to enjoy the sweeter parts of life, even when you're busy.

You are all about risk and randomness in your life. You travel off the beaten path... in fact, you're often the one carving the way!

You are able to find a fairly healthy balance between work and play. You work when you need to, but you never let yourself burn out.

In another life, you could have been a great artist. You trust your creative instincts enough to let them lead you.

The Road Trip Test

muses_w_remotes | 9.16. The Ice Harvest quote

2009-01-08T09:18:41Z

9.16. "It's against my religion to give out personal advice, but you should either sober up or get real drunk."
| The Ice Harvest

Co-written with mrpublicity

Aiden looked at the line of shot glasses Luke was setting up across the coffee table and raised an eyebrow. “And you want to get me drunk why?” he asked suspiciously. “Is this some post-engagement groom ritual I don’t know about or are you just insane?”

Luke quickly but carefully poured the bottle of tequila to fill the six glasses, only spilling a little on the glass table top. “No, this is a ‘Spent your thirtieth birthday and New Year sober and have to make up for it’ ritual,” he corrected and eyed Aiden closely. “Speaking of…”

“Fuck,” Aiden laughed, shaking his head. “You’re as subtle as a knee in the nads.”

“Why didn’t you drink? It was your fucking thirtieth!” Luke cried and pushed one of the shots in Aiden’s direction along with the dish of lemon slices and the salt shaker.

Aiden scratched his head, still smirking. “I wasn’t drinking because Pat wasn’t. We had other plans for afterwards that I kind of wanted to be sober for. Nothing sinister, I promise. Spend my birthday pissed off my face and New Year’s Day hung over or sober and enjoying myself? If Tab was ill and couldn’t drink because of medication, would you still proceed to get pissed and let her spend the night alone or would you just kick back and enjoy yourself with her? My partner is ill. Things are just done differently now, man. No conspiracy here. I didn’t enjoy myself less not drinking.” He picked up the shot and took it with ease.

“How’s things going there, anyway? How is he doing?” Luke asked, indulging in his own first shot.

Aiden shrugged. “A little better.” He rested his head on his hand. “Not much better physically but mentally and emotionally, he’s doing well. It’s not a huge issue anymore. We just take each day and if it’s a good one, we make the most of it.”

“But?” Luke guessed. “Why can I hear a huge ‘but’ in there somewhere?”

“But I think Pat’s humouring me,” Aiden admitted and started to drum his fingers on the armrest. “Or trying to meet me half way but hiding his true feelings about it. I think he wants to live with me but doesn’t want to move to New York. It’s a daunting move for anyone in any case but trying to fight an illness and coming into a hectic environment like this? Now I’m just worried I’ve pushed him. Plus, I’m asking him to up and leave right when the baby has just been born and I know how important that little boy is to Pat. Lachlan’s like a brother to him.”

Luke watched his friend with a small helpless sigh. “Is that why all these brochures on disability aids are lying here untouched? You’re having second thoughts?” he asked softly. “Have you spoken to him about it?”

Aiden shook his head. “I haven’t had the chance. First he was in hospital, then he had those days after where he could hardly lift his head off the pillow. Then there was Christmas, the baby, then Tara took a turn for the worst. Then we’re here for New Year’s and my birthday, and he’s there while I’m here and it’s fucking crap. The situation; not everything that’s happened. It’s just been a bad time. I’m asking him to move away from his home and his family right at a time that he’s at a low with his health. But he doesn’t want me to think he doesn’t want to be with me, so he’s going along with it. There’s nothing wrong with our relationship… it’s the external logistics.”

“So, you’re concerned if you talk to him, he’s just going to tell you he’s fine and you’re worrying about nothing? That he wants to move here and it will all be fine?” Luke tried to encourage Aiden to have another drink, but it was turned down with a small shake of his head.

Aiden scrunched his nose up a little. “That’s what he will say,” he said wryly.

Luke picked up another shot glass and pressed it into Aiden’s hand. “Then what are you going to do about it?” he asked with a pointed look.

Aiden snorted and smirked at his friend. “Get drunk,” he decided and downed the shot with practiced ease.

Word Count | 723