I am one of those people who received their National Insurance number (acquired at aged 16 in the UK and entitling you to pay taxes, yay!) and got a job straight away, working pretty much constantly since then, other than a year abroad where I did indeed work, but travelled in-between. I have been a clerk in various department stores, fitted first shoes for toddlers, fluffed cushions, worked in supermarkets, a waiter in various restaurants, a bar tender, an energy saving lightbulb sales person, a call centre operator, and an administrator. Then as I entered into training as a therapist, I worked as a carer for older adults, and upon qualifying saw babies, young children, teens, and adults for therapy sessions. I also worked at a university in the wellbeing service, and everything felt pretty on-track until Covid-19 arrived, and we began working remotely. I think that was the same for a lot of us, and looking back, it was such a wild and challenging time for so many.

All of this being said, I hadn’t ever really looked at my life values. I think that society and our immediate environment probably instil a fair few of these in us, some may come from capitalism, and others may be freely chosen. I used to think of the term “values” as empty business speak – until I needed to find clarity about what I was doing with my life. Then, it suddenly became very, very useful!

Here are the articles in this series, to refresh our memories:

1. Finding your Ikigai (reason for being) – already published

2. Refreshing your core values – today’s focus

3. Getting to the bottom of your why – next time

4. Changing course – the last in the series

Photographs: The annual cycle of a deciduous tree, changing and growing

Gaining clarity about our core values can help inform our decisions and shed light on what we stand for in our lives. For me they have become guideposts that confirm I’m headed down the right track.

Back in 2024, I became really unwell with what I then thought was simply burnout from work. For anyone going through a terrible time with their health right now, I’m sending you love, as it is just awful. A shining light for me was Doctor Claire Ashley who worked as a GP before experiencing burnout. I religiously followed Claire’s burnout recovery playlist on Tiktok for steps and guidance (it’s so helpful!), and I found it made me feel less alone. She. Is. Awesome! If you’re interested, there’s a link to her recently published book at the end of the article.

Everywhere I looked at the time, I heard people talking about re-evaluating your values when navigating a potential change of life path. I wasn’t ready to consider a full switch, but one of the first things I did was to attend a live session with Hailey Magee, a person whose clear and heartfelt writing I very much admire. The workshop was called, Headed True North: Using Your Values as a Compass Through Transitions in Relationships, Work, and Life. The great news is, Hailey still offers this workshop which you can fit into an evening easy-peasy, and I’ve included a link below – don’t worry, I’ve got you!

Jack is saying he’s got you, too – Jack Black GIF courtesy of GIPHY

Hailey had us look at a sheet covered in values and, me being me, I immediately wanted to choose a zillion of them. Some started to stand out, though, and I realised that some older values I had lived by were no longer resonating as strongly for me, such as capability and hard work (because I just didn’t want to push myself so hard anymore).

Hailey described this as a values misalignment, which can happen when we outgrow things. Newer values were naturally coming into my life more through the green spaces I would visit (which brought freedom and peace), and the increasing attention I gave to my puppy and my four little nephews (increase in playfulness – check!) This shift in values can make complete sense to us while also feeling painful as it can be complicated to go through this kind of change. I’m a strong believer in being true to yourself, though, so I would say it is absolutely worth it!

The reassuring part of Hailey’s workshop was to start imagining shifting the scales, with less weight placed on areas that were misaligning, and more weight on things that aligned with the values participants had identified (such as new relationships, hobbies, etc). This way, before actually changing, you could see how it feels, try things on for size, and not rush the process.

I decided that for me to make a shift I would need to look for alternative jobs, to set stronger boundaries in my existing work, and to start to discover what new kind of work would align with my adjusted values. I realised I was longing for more creativity, more art, and more inspiration from others doing jobs that interested me to see what created sparks.

Being the slowpoke that I am – full disclosure here – my heels dragged for many more months, and I would describe my transition to realigning with new values as a stepped process over years, actually. However, I realise that this is actually how things tend to change, which might help to take the pressure off if you’re feeling at a transition point with something important in your life (see the final quote for additional encouragement - it’s one of my favourites).

My Substack is a focus on this new path, and it feels refreshing to be activating the creative journalist within (they first fired up when I wrote a story called ‘The Ixplorers’ on a piece of A4 around aged seven!) It’s the little day-to-day actions that lead us to what we want to achieve, and I’ve come to think there’s never really an end point to these things anyway…It’s all work in progress!

On a final note, playfulness has always featured in my values, and I’m trying to bring that into my life more and more now… hence the following totally random GIF…

Random GIF that made me chuckle by @igorbastidas

So, if it appeals to you, why not give it a go… have a look at Hailey’s value list – linked below – and her fascinating workshop. You don’t need to be actively going through a big change to start reflecting on your values. Perhaps give some thought to which of your values are still true for you and which ones it might just be time to reevaluate.

I took to my journal and came up with these writing prompts around values once you’ve chosen 2-5 that matter to you:

- If you were to embrace each of the chosen values more in your life over the next six months, what would that look like in your day-to-day life (perhaps give a few examples for each value)? Think joining a book club, taking space from a commitment you had signed up to, reconnecting to friends, etc.

- Would there be anything you’d like to do less of in your life at present? What feels like it might not be working for you anymore?

- Choose the value that feels most expansive and exciting of those you’ve selected. If your life were more centred around this, what might be different?

From this last prompt, I found myself writing about the value of creativity in my life. For years it was saved for weekends when I was in a band, for the odd new recipe I’d try, or workshop I’d pop along to. For many people, this might be enough, but I started to notice that these experiences were the big highlights of my life and were more energising, exciting, and grounding than anything else I was doing.

Without consciously realising, I had started to add in more space for creativity from 2020 onwards, attending a playful writing group at weekends, for instance, where I unlocked my capacity for writing again. Then came my own poetry, which started to come through on many mornings each month (having been on the back burner for many years). The album I am now releasing then emerged in the form of unexpected tracks I would spontaneously record in my free time, while the first ideas for this Substack arose from my growing desire for a community of like-minded people.

If you’re curious about your current relationship to creativity, my journaling also came up with a question you could ask yourself:

Pause for a moment and think about your creativity. What body of water comes to mind when you think about how it feels? Is the water dry, dammed up, rushing, or steady? Vast, small, or in-between? This is not a question intended to bring judgement down on your shoulders, but to encourage honesty and curiosity.

Back in 2019, I would have described my creativity as a dry riverbed that despite receiving rushes of water periodically was parched much of the time (I do like the word parched!) Today I’d say it feels like a long, babbling brook with a lush meadow around it.

The quality of the water can change during a lifetime, over and over, so if yours is feeling a little blocked, perhaps you too are being guided towards some gentle steps to help it start flowing again, like I was. In my experience, a good place to get creativity moving generally is to make something from nothing… something that takes a few minutes like a salad dressing, doodling, return to a project you were working on, and then perhaps picking up an idea you had parked and seeing where it might take you.

Take what’s helpful and leave the rest, my friend!

Elle

Resources:

Book: The Burnout Doctor: Your 6-Step Recovery Plan by Doctor Claire Ashley:

https://www.drclaireashley.com/

Hailey Magee’s workshop can be found here: https://www.haileymagee.com/workshops

Hailey Magee’s values list: https://www.haileymagee.com/common-values

Brené Brown’s values list: https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/

Book: Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/12543.Bird_by_Bird