these words are my own

[rl] nail-painting with kaworu

nonoise — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 23:47:17 GMT

[Nill isn't exactly sure what the point of nail-painting is. But it's apparently very fun! And she should try it! And she is... trying it with Kaworu today. She's still a little nervous and very unsure, even though it is Kaworu, because she doesn't know what she's doing and what if she makes some sort of terrible mistake? But she's with Kaworu. She's with him, so it should be okay.

... The expression on her face is still decidedly nervous when she knocks on the door of his apartment, and she would be fidgeting if it weren't for the bottle of blue nail polish she has in one hand - Miss Liza had said she should bring some along and gave it to her - and the container of shortbread she has in the other; the shortbread was her idea, because Kaworu was inviting her into his apartment and she was taking up his time and it didn't feel right not to give him something in return.

So she waits, wearing an old hooded cloak that's a bit tattered to hide her wings and shifting on her feet nervously instead of fidgeting.]

[locked from allelujah]

nonoise — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 12:18:43 GMT

... Allelujah forgot.

nonoise — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 05:05:49 GMT

~~have~~ I... I have a string ~~on f~~ on my finger, too...

[Allelujah, you may be feeling a slight tugging sensation.]

o17 ♫ [video | dated to the 16th]

nonoise — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 02:24:04 GMT

[Apparently, Nill was going to make a video post - but instead, she's asleep on the desk, with one hand still on the mouse. Unlike most people, little frail girl is little and frail, and the trauma kind of wore her out. She looks peaceful, though. She doesn't look like she'll be waking up from her uncomfortable position unless you wake her, either.

A young brunette girl is hovering around worriedly beside her, with golden wings on her shoulders, a caduceus in one hand and a pitcher full of... rainbows in the other. Yes, liquid rainbows. Hello there, Persona.]

o16 ♫ s'up shadow spam

nonoise — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 09:02:04 GMT

strange clouds outside of church... have never seen before!

haven't been any explosions, though, and factories are shut down lately... pollution doesn't usually reach the church...

o15 ♫ [locked from kaworu]

nonoise — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 10:43:30 GMT

Kaworu is alive.

doesn't... remember, but--

Kaworu is alive. am glad.

[ooc; she's not as happy as she seems. ;;]

[OPEN RL | library]

nonoise — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 00:50:54 GMT

[The front desk is a bit of a mess at the moment, and Nill is busy heaving a trolley of books around to re-shelve them, but there is a box labeled 'RETURNS' if that's all you need to do, or there's a bell if you want to get someone's attention. (Nill's little communication whiteboard is on the desk too, with "Please do not steal" written on it.)

The library is open two hours later today, so if you need to do an assignment, some homework or studying, you're in luck.]

[backdated to pre-virus | locked from asuka]

nonoise — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 06:58:10 GMT

Kaworu is gone. again.

[ooc] BANDWAGON I swear I will do an IC post one day

nonoise — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 06:52:21 GMT

Plans for the High School AU Virus here~ Miharu is probably skipping this one, he's so boring :'D

Nill

The mute little Assistant Librarian that every boy in the school thinks is totally adorable. When she first started out at the school, nobody would have been able to pin her down for two seconds to talk, but since meeting Allelujah, she's a little more outgoing, although she's very attached to him and not very social without him nearby. There are rumours about her being part of a prostitution ring, as well as being a victim of abuse at home. ;;

... See here, lmao.

Haruhi

Almost the exact same person, except nobody will know that she's a girl, just like it is at her school - that is, nobody except for Tamaki, who drags her around everywhere and is her self-proclaimed friend. Most people don't talk to her, and just kind of silently pity her for being towed around by Tamaki Suou.

Xion

That mysterious girl that rarely talks to anyone, hides away all the time and never takes off her hood. Most people are afraid of her, because there are very true-sounding rumours about her being part of an extremely dangerous gang not that long ago.

TELL ME HERE IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SOME HISTORY WITH ANY OF THEM, I'll start writing up little relationship things under cuts. :>

[ooc] christmas list | UNFINISHED

nonoise — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:42:34 GMT

OBLIGATORY CHRISTMAS LIST SPAM GO. ♥ YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO READ IIIIIT although it is unfinished right now. If I forgot your character, kick me and I will add them!

NILL:

Everyone on this list is getting the added gift of a little batch of home-made sweets. Muffins, biscuits, cookies, mini cakes, whatever - take your pick! She's been working at the bakery for a year now, and she doesn't need to spend her money on much at all (although she probably chips in for grocery costs, etc.), so have lots of gifts!

Allelujah: A dress shirt and jacket, and a friendship ring. Of course, it came in a pair of two, but she's too embarrassed to wear the other one without his permission ;; ALSO since he was kind of unconscious last Christmas and in no shape to be running around, she'll see if he wants to go somewhere for the day, be it outside of their city, or to another world where everything isn't dead.
Kaworu: A few books of violin sheet music (with additional piano accompaniment, if applicable) of pieces by composers in her world, and a book of violin duets for him to play with Asuka.
Feldt: A Haro bauble!
Lockon:
Kanji: A book bag, with a little smiley face patch on it. She sewed it herself with a bit of Badou's help, so it's a little bit off, but nothing he can't fix up.
Minako: A cute little blue backpack with wings on it! Also a white scarf, and a big orange bow, to match Karen's (why hello there, obvious sign of still thinking they're married).
Karen: A dress, a white turtle-neck jumper and a big blue bow to pin in the back of her hair.

Karakael, Sora, Rika, Naoto, Setsuna and Tieria will also be getting assorted sweets.

HARUHI:

Tamaki: She's not really a sentimental person usually, but she thought he might enjoy it, so - a sort of scrapbook, containing a collection of Host Club pictures that Kyouya helped her obtain. Some photos have her own dry or deadpan notes beside them |D;;
Setsuna: Some good action movies! Nothing ~shiny new~ because y helo thar money issues, but they're decent enough. None of them are centred around war or other such subjects, though, because while she doesn't know the whole story of why he's with them, she knows that it was Something Not Good. So think. idk Iron Man and Batman and stuff. Superhero-y things!
Karen:
Zelgadiss:
Giselle: A book on tips for wives and married couples. Also, a flower-press kit, because she thought she might like it ~~and found it cheap at a discount store~~.
... she must have more friends than this who on earth am I missing.

MIHARU:

Umi: Some home-made pastizzis with various fillings. They're quite well-done, but it's obvious he's never made them before. If she finishes/removes all the pastizzis, she might find that the cardboard sheet at the bottom doesn't quite fit the box; if she pulls it away, she'll find a simple, handmade Christmas card there.
Karen: Home-made chocolates; they're all square and there are fifteen in total. If she looks at the bottom of them, she'll find that all but one have a letter on them - put in order, they spell MERRY CHRISTMAS.

XION:

Sora: Delivered anonymously - a bar of sea-salt ice cream, and a sort of crown-shaped shell. There are two extra bars of sea-salt ice cream with tags attached; one reads Kairi and the other says Riku.
Suguru: Some pretty seashells, a few of which are tied together to make a decently star-shaped ornament.

[ooc] burrrrn my breaaaad

nonoise — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 09:57:55 GMT

Yes, I really did want to sit down and think about this for ages before I had even decided whether or not I even wanted in on the potential plot or not, thus proving ultimately that I have no life and am a total dork. Further proven by the fact that I enjoyed it. So, here you go: Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3/Persona 4 applied to Nill in terms of Arcana, Shadow and Persona.

Nill is of the Arcana no. XVII, The Star; The Star in a positive aspect represents hope, generosity, serenity and all that good stuff. It is a good card to get in a time of crisis, but it is not a strong card; it is not enough to support, only to renew hope and allow the Journey to continue. Still, it's an excellent omen, and predicts entirely wonderful things.

Negatively, The Star represents self-doubt, a lack of trust, cynicism and pessimism

Nill's Shadow wouldn't be the particularly strong type, both in attacks or defence; she'd be quite mid-level in strength, or maybe even a bit weak. However, what would make up for that would be an unusually high Evasion rate -- so she's not a strong Shadow, but she's one of those kinds that is a royal pain in the ass to beat. An Analysis would tell you something like this:

Resist: None
Block: Ice
Absorb: Wind
Reflect: None
Weak: Pierce, Slash, Strike

Which does indeed make her sound like an easy Shadow to defeat, but then there is the addition of her skills:

Bufula
Mabufula
Garula
Magarula
Sexy Dance
Dodge Slash
Dodge Pierce
Dodge Strike

So, on top of her Evasion being an abnormally high level, it is doubled against Slash, Pierce and Strike; thankfully, she does take quite a bit of damage from any of those moves when you can hit her, so it all kind of balances out. She's also incapable of using Physical attacks, and relies heavily on her magic, so that's another point you can take advantage of.

Nill's Persona is Iris, and while there is an existing Persona of her, I don't agree much with the depiction in Persona II: Eternal Punishment, so lmao have a new version of her.

Iris is the goddess of rainbows, and also the representation of messages, communication and new endeavours. She is the daughter of the sea god Thaumas and the ocean nymph Electra, and wife of Zephyrus, god of the west wind. Iris acts as the bridge between the gods and humanity, delivering messages from the Heavens, to the seas, to the Underworld.

She has a number of other titles, including Chrysopteron (Golden Winged), Podas ôkea (swift footed) or Podênemos ôkea (wind-swift footed). Generally, she is depicted either as a rainbow, or as a young girl with wings on her shoulders, carrying a caduceus (a winged staff, with two snakes entwined around it) and a pitcher, with which she waters the clouds with water carried up from the sea.

An Analysis would give you mostly similar results to her Shadow, but Iris is capable of Physical attacks -- her attack type is Pierce:

Resist: Pierce
Block: Ice
Absorb: Wind
Reflect: None
Weak: Slash, Strike

And her abilities would be as follows:

Mabufula
Bufudyne
Magarula
Garudyne
Marin Karin
Mediarama
Re Patra
Me Patra

... aaand I will probably add more to this when I get home from band camp. o/ ♥</div>

[ooc] planning~

nonoise — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:37:14 GMT

/jumps on the bandwagon of plotting posts

So! While I actually have no plans for either of the upcoming viruses yet, I figured I would make a post in case anyone wanted to do anything with any of my characters, since I'm usually extremely scarce on AIM. ♥ Uh, s-so, yeah, if anyone wants to pair up with one of mine for the Hey, That's my Jacket! or Thought You Missed Out, eh? viruses, just hit me up here.

aliceinouran | Haruhi Fujioka
nonoise | Nill
promissum | Miharu Rokujo

[ooc] everybody loves a good bandwagon~

nonoise — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 05:48:17 GMT

♥ in love/crush.
♥ very close friend. trusts irrevocably. loves in a platonic/familial way.
♥ friend. likes very much.
♥ does not know very well, but are nice enough. likes.
♥ has seen/talked to once or twice, but formed no opinion. neutral.
♥ unsure. cautious. does not trust, but willing to speak to. perfectly able to form a stronger relationship with.
♥ scared of. dislikes. most likely, will never trust. avoids as much as possible.
♥ terrified of. hates. won't even speak to.

It is actually much harder to get to ♥ or ♥ than it may seem, for Nill. Because of her past, she's not the kind of person that trusts or loves easily -- even moreso when it comes to men; she is naive, and she will believe what someone is saying, but she won't trust them. She is very empathetic, though, which means she comes to like even the outwardly-bastard types quite easily; she understands that people put up fronts (a-although most characters' tough facades crumble around her XD).

Also, the higher the level you're in, the less she stutters and is nervous around you. See: going as far as to scold Kaworu. That is a massive thing for her, it really is.

♥♥ ALLELUJAH HAPTISM.

Kind-of-boifurendo! Nill loves him a lot, and trusts him just as much. She does become quite flustered around him sometimes, because she feels the need to prove herself to him, but it's very rare for her to be flustered in a bad way because of him; it's more just her own silly personality, or out of embarrassment. Especially now that he knows about the prostitution ring, she feels a bit like a burden to him because he's so close to her and worries about her so much, but knows that he doesn't see her as such -- she just worries about it anyway, because she's very cautious like that. But still, she's comfortable with him, because she knows that he sees her as his friend no matter what.

While she may not love Hallelujah, she definitely doesn't feel negatively towards him (h-he just scares her a bit, but she doesn't think at all that he would harm her) and she accepts him as a part of Allelujah. In fact, she trusts him just the same as she does Alle. She's kind of worried for him, since he's been missing for a long time, but she doesn't want to ask Allelujah about it; she knows it's a sensitive subject.

She also has a small crush on him, but doesn't recognise it or acknowledge it as such, since she wouldn't know how to label something like that anyway. As far as things go, he's just a very, very loved, close friend.

♥ [APOLLO.]

♥♥ KAWORU NAGISA.

Not!brother. Again, someone she trusts and loves to the highest of extremes; she adores him. She's much calmer around Kaworu than anyone else, because he just has the kind of personality and mannerisms that put her at ease very simply. They're very much a sibling image; the ditzy kind of little sister and the calm older brother. Something that could also be likened to siblings is that Nill loves to learn things, but moreso she loves to learn things from Kaworu, because he goes through things thoroughly, but in a way that she can understand, and without making her feel stupid.

It's actually thanks to Kaworu that Nill is developing a little bit of courage, the slightest bit of (very Nill-like and laughably, adorable, gentle) assertiveness. Of course, Allelujah then built on that, but it was Kaworu's speech on free will and his faith in her ability to learn that allowed it to start. Because of this, she is probably more comfortable around Kaworu than nearly anyone else; enough so that she is able to insist and scold him without realising until after that she may have stepped out of line.

Even if she knew everything about him, the Angels, etc., most likely it wouldn't change a thing. Even if Kaworu didn't tell her that he didn't exactly have much choice in the matter, that was what his purpose was; she believes in Kaworu enough to automatically disregard it in that way, because she knows he's too kind to want to do something like that. If anything, her reaction? Would probably be to hug him.

Although much less than with Allelujah, she does have a very slight crush on him, mostly stemming from admiration and adoration than anything. However, if she knew how to label her affection for him, he would definitely be under the category of "brotherly" rather than "romantic interest".

♥ [HAINE RAMMSTEINER.]

♥ [HARUHI SUZUMIYA.]

♥ [BADOU NAILS.]

♥ KAREN MINAZUKI.

♥♥ LOCKON (NEIL DYLANDY).

♥ MIKAELA BANES.

♥ MINAKO AINO.

♥♥ MITSURU KIRIJO.

♥ [NAOTO FUYUMINE.]

♥ [SHINJI IKARI.]

♥ ZELGADISS GRAYWORDS.

♥ [BISHOP.]

♥ CIEL PHANTOMHIVE

♥ FELICIANO VARGAS (ITALY VENEZIANO).

♥ KANJI TATSUMI.

♥ KARAKAEL.

♥ KUROUDO AKABANE.

♥ MARAICH.

♥ RENA RYUUGU.

♥ RIKA NONAKA.

♥ SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS.

♥ SHIA.

♥ TAMAKI SUOU.

♥ SETSUNA F. SEIEI

♥ NAOTO SHIROGANE.

♥ ASUKA LANGLEY SORYU.

Kaworu's friend. Scary and angry, but she must be a good person underneath if she's so close to Kaworu.

♥♥ KURORO LUCIFER

♥ AZULA.

♥ GRIMMJOW JAEGERJAQUES.

♥ [ZERO.]

Not everyone she's ever spoken to is on here (there would be a lot more blue, probably, if that was the case), so if you want your character added, just tell me! ♥ There will only be accompanying comments on their relationship if she's formed a notable opinion on them and yes, there are still a lot there I have to do, I am just tired right now.

o12 ♫ [post-virus | voice]

nonoise — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 05:44:07 GMT

[Slow, shallow breathing; obviously, she's only just calmed herself down, and every few gasps, there's a little, voiceless hiccough. There's an occasional sniffle too, so from the sounds of things, she might still be crying.

She takes in a sharp, quick breath, holds it, but suddenly lets it out in a rush, a heavy sob. It's not long before she tries again, holds her breath, and types quickly, the clacking of keys the only sound now.]

sorry. didn't want-- didn't mean to--

... to let find out.

sorry

[ooc; virus plottings]

nonoise — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 07:37:20 GMT

Late plotting notes for the What If? virus, just because I am a ditz lately and will forget my plans otherwise.

Nill: >: pretty much, what it would be like if Haine never saved her. So, she'll be a child prostitute with absolutely zero trust for anyone, s-sob. Especially boys and older men. She will be terrified. She never will have been on the community before and ohgod she will be so awkward and embarrassed and nervous and ahhhh when it is over and everyone knows.

Haruhi: What if she had never encountered the Host Club? She won't be quite as open and friendly, nor will she really be able to cope with eccentricities as much. It'll be very-beginning-of-series-Haruhi.

Mikuru: ... idek. Perhaps something about if she had never been dragged back to observe Haruhi, so she'll still be a happy girl with her family in the future, etc. etc.

o11 ♫

nonoise — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 12:46:29 GMT

virus isn't too bad... not sure why community is so angry!

o10 ♫ [very failed private]

nonoise — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 05:12:31 GMT

w-was curious, searched Internet for "nill". asked if meant "nil", b-but...

nil
     n 1: nothing
     2: a quantity of no importance

... what scientist meant when said was "nil"?

oo9 ♫ [voice post]

nonoise — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 21:33:56 GMT

[text:]

s-still not getting notes right... a-and paused lots. need to practice more...

[ yyyeah, that's the kind of fast progress she makes when she's a) determined, b) has Miss Liza as her teacher, and c) practices nearly all day, every day. :| there's not a lot to do in that church, okay. ]

oo8 ♫ and it's not so bad, it's not so bad

nonoise — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 06:49:30 GMT

p-poor Peter...

[ooc; ... B-Bishop bought her a Beatrix Potter collection for Christmas, to teach her morals ~~a-and because he figured the stuff she was trying to read was too complicated.~~]

[ooc] nnn derp derp derp

nonoise — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 11:10:41 GMT

S'up, spamming your f-lists with a belated Christmas gift list ♥

KAWORU: A violin. Seriously. She probably asked Shinji what size he needed, and got a part-time job to afford it. ~~Her cuteness got her a million tips.~~ :|b Also, a book! Gaia: The Practical Science of Planetary Medicine. ... I-it seemed interesting to her, okay. She memorised as much of the glossary as she could. ♥ And looked at all the pretty pictures. |D;

ALLE/HALLE: A pretty silver necklace, with a white jewel on one side -- and a black jewel on the other for Hallelujah (n-no, I never decided what the jewels were, I swear I'll do it eventually. Most likely, they would have been pretty expensive). Allelujah is also the reason she started learning the piano, from whoever in her world would teach; she wanted to play something for him on Christmas. And finally, something that probably took weeks of debating with Haine, Badou and Naoto -- she was going to see if they could go to another world together, and just spend the day doing anything he wanted >: She would have needed a lot of convincing for that from Haine and the others, because she felt that it was more of a gift to her than to Allelujah.

LOCKON (+ Haro): Haro-shaped biscuits! Naoto helped her ~~get help to~~ make them. She made enough for at least all of the Meisters, if not some of the Ptolemaios crew. She'll make him new ones when he comes back from being dead, and she might take them around to Tieria and Setsuna too. ... Of course Allelujah can have some, since he'll live with her and all.

HARUHI: Lots of good supernatural books and movies, a pretty bracelet and a new headband.

SHINJI: She wasn't quite sure what his interests are, but she still wanted to give him something, so she got the local baker to help her make a nice Christmas-themed cake. ♥ To have it a little personalised, she wrote "Merry Christmas Shinji" on it with some writing fudge.

MINAKO: Cooking things! Like, pretty matching bowls and cutlery and stuff. Also, some pretty aprons.

BADOU: ... She asked Bishop what to get him. He got her to buy several packs of his favourite cigarettes.

KAREN: A nice brooch~!

I am completely and utterly braindead right now, so if you think I missed someone, kick me, and I'll conjure up a gift for them ♥

oo7 ♫ [private | hackable]

nonoise — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 05:18:59 GMT

... dead.

oo6 ♫ [voice]

nonoise — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 10:31:04 GMT

[there's silence, then the sound of heavy, sharp breathing coming in short gasps, and being released in shuddery jolts. occasionally, there is sniffling.

the best description is that it sounds like a person crying -- however, without any pitched or vocal sounds.

this simply continues, without any other distinguishable sounds.]

[ooc; posted after she realises that Lockon is dead. >:]

[ooc] spammin' ur f-lists

nonoise — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 19:08:50 GMT

Okay, so. Because Nill's way of trusting people is pretty much on the verge of that of a child sometimes, and her "important people" are extremely important to her -- being the dependant character that she is, and she's just that kind of person anyway -- I wanted to essay about her relationships with some characters. ♥

Not every character she knows is listed here, and this is by no means a relationship meme. These will be her most important people -- and the characters will actually be written about in a rough order of most important > least important. It's not exact, so don't think your character doesn't mean as much to her as another.

Her most important, who I won't bother essaying on right now, is obviously Haine Rammsteiner, and it's very unlikely that anyone will ever be able to take that place away from him. Naoto Fuyumine, Badou Nails and Bishop are also people who mean a lot to her, and they're probably ranked in amongst the higher people on this list of other characters. So, on to her most precious people that she's met on DDD!

Allelujah Haptism (+ Hallelujah).

At first, to Nill, Allelujah was just another kind person on the community, who obviously disapproved of the way that she'd been experimented on -- his reaction wasn't too different from most others, and she had no idea (and still has no idea) that he's had first-hand experience with it. He really could have just been another nice friend of hers, but they kept talking, and he kept growing on her more and more. He wasn't as important to her as he would be, but she could trust him (although part of this is just her naivety) and she enjoyed talking to him.

By the point that she first met Hallelujah and Allelujah confronted her about it, she really could trust Allelujah's word, and she wanted to stay friends with him, so she tried not to let Hallelujah frighten her (or at least, tried not to let it be obvious that he did) for his sake. She's not forward enough to ever admit this, so she just tried to console herself and hold strong -- at that time, she'd reached a point where she wanted to be strong enough that Allelujah could stop worrying about her all the time.

When the Mental Regression virus rolled around, she was genuinely worried about him, and it was then that she also realised she wanted to know more about him. No matter how much she'd told him about herself, she barely knew anything about him, but Nill is a timid person who fears rejection more than most other things, so she wouldn't push to find out anything he wasn't revealing on his own (she's extremely hesitant about asking things of even a slightly personal nature still). However, she can still remember a few things mentioned during the Mental Regression virus, and although she doesn't think about them so much any more, if they were brought back up, she'd start worrying about them (-- the things she recalls are that Allelujah said something about a facility, and the names Marie and 'Miss Tieria').

She didn't have long enough to think about those things for them to set deeply in her memory, because shortly after, she was attacked by Zero -- and although she anticipated Allelujah to come and help her after his promise to while she was in a panic at the church, she's not disappointed and doesn't feel betrayed that he never came, just because she trusts him enough that she knows something more urgent or important must have arisen (in this case, it was that Hallelujah took over and tried to rip Zero to bits, but she never found that out).

Their conversation on her Video Post let her clear something up with him (that, thinking back on, flusters her a bit) -- that she doesn't want him to be sorry for not coming to help when she was injured. She hasn't been able to tell him yet that the reason she doesn't want him to ever feel like he has to apologise to her is that she really does trust him enough that he shouldn't have to. To her, it doesn't matter what the reason he never came was -- that he even promised to help her was enough.

Straying off the whole "history" thing I just did, Nill kind of feels like she's a bit of a burden to most people, but especially to Allelujah because he's closer to her, and worries about her more. For him (and Haine, really), she wants to make an effort to be a stronger, braver person, so that he doesn't feel as though he has to constantly be worrying about her. Another reason she wants to be stronger is because Allelujah's gotten into his share of bad situations too, and she doesn't want to keep feeling so useless at those points in time -- she wants to be able to help, in any way that she can as long as it means something to him.

And I can't emphasise this enough -- she really, really trusts him. Being naive, she kind of automatically believes people, and feels bad for them in cases where they're in a bad situation (whether or not they're actually a good person), but for her to absolutely trust someone to the extent that she trusts Allelujah is pretty rare. She would seriously jump off a cliff if he promised he would catch her.

And yes, Allelujah is someone that she can heart at nearly without second thought (though in some instances, it flusters her) &hearts; He may be, in fact, the only -- or if not, one of the only -- people she will heart at without it just being a response to someone else using the symbol at her.

Now, covering a bit of a 'Part II' -- Hallelujah.

To be quite blunt, the first time she spoke to Hallelujah, he really did terrify her. Not just because he's creepy and scary, but because someone was saying these things to her with Allelujah's appearance. It made her uncomfortable, because although she can separate them and knows very well that they are two completely different people, she (at first, at least) found it strange to be seeing such cruel things coming from someone who looked exactly like Allelujah.

The Mental Regression virus softened up her opinion of him a little -- she wanted to help Allelujah, so she was determined not to be scared of Hallelujah, which may have helped her a bit in that situation. He seemed like he was trying to protect Allelujah in some really twisted way, but living with twisted, violent people already, she understood it a little. So, she realised that maybe some part of Hallelujah wasn't such a bad person -- he just expressed it in the wrong way. ... Of course, then there was the majority of him that was such a bad person, and that's the part that frightens her.

She doesn't know that he tried to go and beat the crap out of Zero after she was attacked, but if she did, it would probably only add to that image she has of him. And she would try her hardest to, some day, manage to thank him for it, even if it would scare her to approach him with such meek words.

Because of her thoughts of him having a side that isn't so bad, and because he is also Allelujah in a way, who she can trust more than anything, Nill would probably trust Hallelujah if the situation required it for some reason (i-in my mind, I keep picturing a battle of some sort, and Hallelujah shouting at Nill to just fucking trust him for a minute, and her nodding with some terrified, determined look on her face and ladsfk somehow I find it adorable).

Kaworu Nagisa.

Kaworu is a bit strange for Nill in the way that she completely trusted and became fond of him faster than she does with most. The reason for this is pretty much thanks to Kaworu's personality -- he spoke to her calmly, and in an understanding way. Even when she revealed her complete lack of knowledge regarding basic things (which is a touchy subject for her; she usually worries that she'll be mocked for it), not only did he simply accept it kindly, he took it a step further and taught her. His reaction to her being an experiment was also something that surprised her and gave her a high opinion of him -- although he gave the typical "I'm sorry" and obviously felt bad for her, he gave her his own little mini-speech about free will, and it made her feel amazingly better and not quite so... insignificant. She already knew that what had been done to her was wrong, but he made her feel more like a person than before, and if a time ever comes where she actually takes a forward motion and stands up for herself, it will be partly thanks to Kaworu that she has the courage and ability to defend herself.

Because he meant so much to her in such a short amount of time, it came as a massive, heart-breaking shock when he died -- and it worried her every day most of the time, because she'd only heard that he was dead through Shinji's post, so there was no confirmation. In a way, it reminded her of Haine a little; to lose someone she'd come to like and respect -- and quite possibly idolise -- so immediately (very shortly after Haine saved Nill, he was shot through the head and "killed" by her kidnappers). When Kaworu was revived, after she recovered from the flood of shock and relief that had come over her, that sense of uselessness that hangs on her sunk in. She felt guilty and useless, because she'd been unable to offer to help even in the slightest, while everyone else was running around getting them worldhops, medical attention, just helping somehow, and all she'd been able to do was sit there and worry and panic and cry. She wants to apologise to Kaworu (and Shinji) for not being helpful at all, and part of her just wants to.. talk to him about it.

Which raises another point -- Kaworu is someone Nill wants to be able to open up to, and talk to about everything she keeps to herself. He makes her feel calm, and as though she's actually worth something. He speaks to her in a way that she can understand, and while it doesn't make her feel smart, per say, it makes her feel less stupid. She loves to learn things in general, but it's becoming even moreso that she loves to learn things from Kaworu.

In some ways, her image of Kaworu can be likened to that of a kind older brother, what with her idolisation of him, want to share problems with him, and want to learn things from him.

Haruhi Suzumiya.

Nill has no idea what family is like, but Haruhi is quickly becoming something of a sister to her. She looks up to Haruhi, because she is a figure that Nill has never had in her life -- strong, cheerful and energetic. Although this attitude and Haruhi's overall forwardness throws Nill off-guard and even flusters her sometimes (simply because Nill's life has never included such a bubbly, spontaneous person, and she isn't used to someone like that), she really does idolise this part of Haruhi.

Like it is with most, Nill doesn't like to see Haruhi sad or hurt, and wants to be able to cheer her up and make her feel better when she can -- thus, when Haruhi told Nill that she wasn't so sad about Jenny's death while she was talking to her, Nill was extremely glad, and it was thanks to Haruhi that Nill actually felt proud for probably one of the first times she can remember.

... She might admit it one day, but she is kind of ~~scared of~~ curious about aliens, and wants it to be Haruhi who teaches her about them. If it's something Haruhi likes, she wants to know more about it, to see if she can make Haruhi happy by knowing about it.

~ Fun Fact: She cares about the opinions of the above three (+ Haine) more than anyone else -- therefore, she's worried about them finding out any more about her past than they already know (mainly, the fact that she was very nearly forced into child prostitution; although, she's afraid of how they would react to finding out she spent a long time living on the streets here and there too). She's scared that they would be disgusted by her, and leave her -- and she fears rejection by those who have shown her care a lot. ~

Sync.

In the most simple of explanations, Sync is someone who worries Nill. A lot. She's never met someone who cuts others off like Sync does, and he confuses her a little -- while he doesn't directly try to push her away, he questions her trust in him, but he seems to be protective of her, at least enough to warn her about himself and others.

Sync seems to want her to become stronger, and so Sync is another person that Nill wants to be a stronger, better person for. She wants to be able to do more than just sit still and worry about him when he's in a bad situation, and part of her wants him to be able to feel that she can look after herself, if only a bit, so that he doesn't have to be her defence all of the time.

His attempts to keep her at a distance worry her a lot too -- mainly regarding herself. She's unsure about where he limits are with Sync, and at what point he'll just completely close her off, and he never seems to really like when she worries about him too much, so she's afraid that she annoys him.

She trusts him still, despite his warnings, and she really would do a lot of things if he asked her to do them, because she does think that he wants what's best for her, even if his way of expressing it is awkward.

K'.

K' is a bit easier for Nill to understand -- in a fair few ways, he can be compared to Haine. He's usually a rough person who'll fight without a lot of hesitation, but he's softer to her, and more careful around her. She appreciates this, as she does with Haine, but sometimes K' intimidates her (Haine doesn't because, well. He is her most important person.), and she wants to be able to tell him that he doesn't have to protect her as much as he does. She trusts him, of course -- it's just that she doesn't want people getting into unnecessary fights or arguments because of her, and K' seems more likely for the former category (this is obviously where her trust begins slipping noticeably, merely because she hasn't had such an amazing impression left on her as with Allelujah and the others).

Zelgadiss Graywords.

Zel may be in the category of "less of an impression", but before she became more open and was able to trust others more, Zel was one of the first people to break through her caution and initial wary/distrust towards others. He openly admitted to being a chimera, which was similar to her, and that started a connection between them -- they were able to sympathise with one another, instead of it just being one-sided in Nill's favour. He was the first person she ever told about how she was almost sold into prostitution, and it still worries her that he might be disgusted by it.

He may not have done things that have left a standing impression on her, but he's still a little more than just another member of the community -- he means a bit more to her, and she's more willing to trust him.

Minako Aino.

Again, Minako hasn't left an outstanding impression on Nill -- but she is very caring towards her, and did come to help her after she was attacked by Zero, even allowing her to stay in her home while she recovered, which means a lot to Nill. She confuses Nill a bit sometimes (but not in a way like Sync -- it's more that she doesn't understand normal sayings, much less Minako's jumbled ones), but she's willing to explain things if Nill asks, or clearly isn't following, which Nill is grateful for.

At this point, much the same as it is for Zelgadiss, and close to K', Nill's trust is definitely lower than it is for others -- she can trust Minako with things that still mean something to her, yes, but she would be rather hesitant to trust her in a situation that made her unsure for whatever reason, or with some kind of information that she's worried about or that is important to her.

♥ /end relationship TL;DR |D

Also, Nill's English and overall concept of things has improved brilliantly since first joining the community -- she's never actually noticed, because she's not computer savvy enough to look back onto her old entries and compare, but if someone pointed it out to her and she took a while to think about it, she might actually realise. In that situation, she would definitely be able to summon up the courage to thank the community as a whole for it. She's becoming a little more open too; another thing she would be grateful for.

OH OH AND ANOTHER THING. It should also be noted (read: I felt like adding) that, because Nill is 14, and has the mentality of a child in many ways due to never being taught anything, it is quite possible for her to develop a crush on someone who means a lot to her. Given, though, it would be something similar to the crush that an 8 - 10 year-old might hold on another, and she herself would probably be rather oblivious to it and the obvious signs of it. Because she's a little slower to trust boys than girls, and even slower to trust men than women (most of the people who used/abused her were probably men), at this point in time, Kaworu and Allelujah are the two she's most likely to crush on. However, both could probably be quite easily canceled out if either of them purposefully tried to have her see them as more of an 'older brother' figure. She already leans a bit towards that, and she's very following, so a nudge from them towards a completely platonic relationship would be all it would take. ♥

I didn't get everyone down, so if you feel that your character has a significant relationship with Nill and you want them added to their appropriate place in the essay, comment here telling me and I'll see what I can do. ♥ Also I doubt any part of anything I just wrote makes any sense at all, shh.

oo5 ♫ [failed private]

nonoise — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 10:46:24 GMT

Shinji a-and... K-Kaworu... b-both alive...

~~... so.. u-useless..... didn't...~~

am... a-am glad..

[ooc: yeah, this is where she sits there and cries. >: and that strike basically works like a normal html strike, so it's a little hard to read but easily viewable.]

[rl] haruhi | nice to meet you, oneechan!

nonoise — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:01:25 GMT

[inside the church, up the front and sweeping the altar. she'd been "talking" to Haine a little earlier, so there's a pad of paper and a pen on the podium. she's a little distracted from her cleaning, and she's kind of anxious because Bishop and the others are out. the anxiety is pretty obvious because she's jumping a little at most of the noises she hears.]