Resilience // part IX, section one

 
Part IX

Hinamori Momo had decided that she needed a break from the back fifth division paperwork she'd been picking through. The seated officers in her division had done a fabulous job of keeping up with the current reports in both their captain's and vice captain's sudden absences, but even they could only handle so much at one time. She couldn't presume to expect as much out of them, not when it should have been hers to do in the first place. There were times when she understood where Matsumoto's tendency to sneak off when reports were due came from.

The transition to taking over for Aizen-taichou had been difficult – and it still was, in most ways. There were many days in which Hinamori nearly forgot that her captain wasn't there anymore, and wouldn't be. She would turn to ask him his opinion on a particular report, or to see if he would like any tea when she went to get herself some, and he wasn't there. Of course he wasn't there; someone – Gin – had messed up his mind in there somewhere. It didn't matter, though; Hitsugaya would bring him back and remind him of who he really was. Shirou-chan had promised as much.  

Hinamori looked up just in time to see the sign for the Tenth's offices as she passed on her walk; she hadn't even realized she was heading in that direction. Part of her wanted to stop in and say hi to Hitsugaya, but then she remembered that he was still on mission in the Living World. Maybe she could beg Yamamoto-soutaichou to let her call him again soon.

Until then, she would simply loop by the First's offices and see how things were going there before she went back to work on paperwork. One could only delay the inevitable for so long. But before she could let her mind dwell further on the upcoming reports, a small commotion of voices down the hall attracted her attention. There was a small clump of shinigami – white coats, captains, Ukitake and Kyouraku and Kurotsuchi and Unohana and… Yamamoto-soutaichou? – moving quickly towards the Fourth Division's quarters. Unohana's face glowed the color of reiatsu, her forehead wrinkled in a worried, concentrated frown. They hadn't seemed to notice Hinamori following them.  

She caught Hitsugaya's name, and her heart skipped a beat. Moving forward with a hand outstretched, she tried to see who it was they were so intently gathered around. Something bad had happened. But suddenly, Koutetsu-fukutaichou was blocking her view of the procession, and she couldn't see any more.  

That wasn't Hitsugaya-taichou they were carrying, was it? 

A choked, pained moan in Hitsugaya's familiar voice told her otherwise, and she froze. Something was wrong, horribly wrong. Hitsugaya was supposed to be in the Living World – what was he doing here? Why was he hurt? Had something happened to him on his mission?  

She followed them to the Fourth Division's infirmary, trying to pick up as much of the conversation as she could, but the ringing in her ears kept the words from registering. All she knew was that Hitsugaya had been badly hurt, and that Gin had likely had something to do with it, somehow.  

Gin. The name turned her vision red with anger at the man who had taken so much away from her. It was Gin's fault that Aizen had betrayed them, and if Gin had been responsible for harming Hitsugaya… She wouldn't forgive him.  

“Hinamori-fukutaichou?” 

Hinamori nearly jumped; she had been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't even heard Koutetsu Kiyone – one of the two shinigami who shared the third seat in Ukitake's division – come up behind her.  

“Koutetsu-san! You startled me,” Hinamori said. 

“I know you're worried about Hitsugaya-taichou, but Isane-nee-sama asked me to escort you back to your division,” Kiyone said in a sheepishly gentle tone. “She said they will contact you as soon as there is news, if you'd like, but they can't have unauthorized personnel in this area right now. I'm sorry.”  

Worry chased the anger away; Hitsugaya must be in really bad shape if they were trying to keep the area clear. “What happened?” 

“I don't know for sure myself, but I heard something went wrong during a questioning session,” Kiyone said. “It's probably too early to say, but I think Hitsugaya-taichou was somehow hurt during the process.”  

“Will he be all right?” 

“I don't know. I'm sorry.” 

Hinamori nodded; Kiyone's guess probably was as good as her own. She let the third seat lead her away, silently praying that Hitsugaya would pull through whatever had happened to him.  

--

“Ran-chan! You have a call!”  

Renji was out of breath by the time he caught up to Matsumoto at the edge of the park. She had taken up Hitsugaya's affinity for late afternoon walks in his absence; she was out on one such walk when she sensed Renji approaching her. She whirled, eyes wide when they met with Renji's.  

“News?” she asked seriously, heart pounding with anxiety. Was it from Hitsugaya? 

“None that they would give me; Yamamoto-soutaichou wanted to speak with you specifically,” Renji replied, an apologetic look on his face. 

She frowned. If Yamamoto wanted to speak with her, then… No. She couldn't let her mind think that way. They wouldn't execute Hitsugaya over his memories, would they? They couldn't afford to, not with how thinly spread their captains were as it was. Without another word, she nodded to Renji, and they both sped back to Orihime's apartment, back to where the Soul Society calling console sat in the spare room there. Orihime shot them a puzzled look as they both barged into her apartment and rushed back to the spare room.  

Matsumoto didn't realize she was out of breath until she stood before the console gasping for air. Yamamoto's figure stood calmly still in the incoming screen, silhouetted in his dark office only by the light of his own console. His face was blank, but it always was.  

“Matsumoto-fukutaichou,” he said solemnly. “Your presence is requested back here in Soul Society. Please report to my office after you have made arrangements to oversee Inoue-san's continued protection.”

No news? Matsumoto nearly frowned again at the vague nature of Yama-jii's message, but she knew better than to question. They'd tell her what was going on when she got there, she hoped. “Understood, Yamamoto-soutaichou,” she replied with a nod.  

“That is all.” 

And the screen flickered off. Matsumoto looked wearily over her shoulder at Renji, who still stood in the doorway. 

“You'd better get going, Ran-chan,” he said. 

Matsumoto nodded. “Please take over for me, and let the others know,” she said. 

Renji balked. “Me? But--" 

“And make sure Urahara keeps his promise. I'll send word as soon as I'm able.” 

"Wouldn't-- I mean--... But--" Once Renji finished sputtering, he took a deep breath and bowed. “Take care, Ran-chan.” 

Matsumoto nodded, turned, and initiated the gate back to Soul Society. Renji waved behind the closing doors, and Matsumoto didn't look back. Then again, she was startled to find Ukitake waiting for her on the other side of the door, and she didn't even think to look behind her again. At first, she thought that perhaps it was a coincidence, but when she took a closer look at the Thirteenth's captain, she saw that he was slightly hunched over, and dark circles ringed his bloodshot eyes. There was no sparkle in his usually cheery expression.  

The realization sank in Matsumoto's gut, bitterly heavy. Something had not only gone wrong, it had gone horribly wrong. A disaster. 

“Come with me,” was all the answer Ukitake could provide her. He turned and walked somberly in the direction of the First Division offices. Numbly, Matsumoto followed.  

Yamamoto's office looked like a war zone, and Matsumoto suddenly understood why Yamamoto had likely kept the lights off on purpose while speaking with her over the communicator. Glass and papers were strewn everywhere, chairs broken and at least one table had been splintered. There were patches of blood on the floor, not quite dried, and the most pooled around the base of a chair that had once had armrests on it. The only explanation she could think of was that there had been a fight there. Had Hitsugaya fought back during the memory wipe? Had he been provoked so far as to strike back against Yamamoto? Or had someone attacked them in the meantime? It was extremely difficult to tell from just a glance what had caused the scuffle, but something had happened.  

“Matsumoto-fukutaichou,” Yamamoto greeted. 

“Yamamoto-soutaichou,” Matsumoto replied, bowing. “You sent for me.” 

“I did,” Yamamoto said. “Thank you for your prompt arrival.” Matusmoto inclined her head in a half-nod, and waited for the old man to continue. “As you can see, there has been some trouble here, and I am afraid it involves Hitsugaya-taichou.”  

Matsumoto couldn't hide the scowl that was slowly finding its way to her face. “And how might that be?” she asked tersely. She half expected Yamamoto to come out and accuse her of treason as well, just by association.  

His answer surprised her. “He was the unfortunate casualty of a brutal trap set by Aizen Sousuke and his associates.”

Was. The word felt like a slowly-twisting knife in her stomach. Hitsugaya wasn't... “Is Hitsugaya-taichou–?” 

“He still lives,” Yamamoto said, quelling one of her fears. “But he is in poor condition. Unohana-taichou is looking after him as we speak.”  

If Unohana-taichou was personally handling his case, then it had to be bad. “Might I see him?” 

“Not until Unohana-taichou declares him stable.” 

Matsumoto felt her eyes burn with tears, and she spent a full moment trying to bite back on them. She had to be strong. When she was certain her voice wasn't going to crack on her, she asked, “What happened?”  

“Well, we can't do much until we have word from Unohana. Let us go somewhere where we can sit, and I will explain the situation in full detail,” Yamamoto said, motioning for both Matsumoto and Ukitake to follow.  

Feeling ill, Matsumoto hesitated, but Ukitake gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up as he passed, and then she finally followed. 

--

“Unohana-taichou, there's still a rupture in his lungs; he's stopped breathing again!” 

“S-Stage three treatment is in progress, Unohana-taichou.” 

“Isane, please switch with me; I will work on the respiratory system.” 

“Yes, taichou.” 

“Yuuji, stay on task until we reach stage five of the treatment, and then switch with Hanatarou-san until we stabilize him. Stay focused now; we can't afford to lose our concentration here!” 

“Yes, taichou!”

Unohana took a deep breath as she focused her reiatsu into Hitsugaya's small chest, encouraging the torn tissues of his lungs to mend. The breathing mask could only help him so far as his lungs were working. Sweat beaded on her upper lip as she worked, and she didn't realize she was gritting her teeth until her jaw relaxed when Hitsugaya raggedly gasped a lungful of air. After his second breath, she took a deep breath. They should be ready to move into the next stage of healing soon.  

“He's breathing again,” she informed her small, five-man tag team unit. “Preparing for stage four of his treatment.” 

“Give me a moment,” Isane said, gritting her teeth. 

“Koutetsu-fukutaichou, don't push too hard–!” 

“Give me a moment!” she repeated, voice raising. “Working around some resistance; give me a hand, Hanatarou!” 

Hanatarou knelt beside Isane and placed his hands alongside the vice-captain's as they pressed against Hitsugaya's abdomen. Unohana was grateful for the smaller healer's presence; after his foray with Kurosaki and the other ryoka, Hanatarou's talent seemed to blossom with the encouragement, and his gentle touch was proving to be extremely helpful. After a moment, Isane nodded gratefully to Hanatarou.  

“Ready for the fourth stage of treatment,” she said, exhaling. 

“Hanatarou, switch with Isane until the next stage of treatment,” Unohana ordered. “Isane, you will relieve Yuuji when the time comes.”

“I'm sorry, Unohana-taichou,” Isane said, bowing her head as she moved from her position. 

Isane was stressing herself too far and could use the short breather. Not that Unohana blamed Isane; Hitsugaya's case was proving to be rather distressing. Karura nearly had carried out his threat to take Hitsugaya down with him – in fact, the threat still hung heavy in the air. Hitsugaya was in dire shape; he had suffered a great deal of internal damage, as if Karura had actually dragged his claws through Hitsugaya's insides. The outward signs of the injury were gruesome as it was, but it was a situation where it really was worse than it looked. Three jagged, parallel claw marks cut diagonally across Hitsugaya's torso from his hip to his shoulder; the blood loss only added complications to the more serious injuries on the inside. It was a miracle that the young captain was even alive at this point, and Unohana intended for him to stay that way. As slow as it was, they were making progress.  

“H-He's waking up!” 

The strangled scream brought her attention back to her work, and Hitsugaya's back arched painfully as his muscles tensed. The cold compress that lay over the young man's eyes fell to the side, revealing wide, panicked eyes that saw nothing but pain. She hadn't been expecting him to rouse after the first spell, but apparently it hadn't been strong enough, she realized with a small measure of guilt. The earlier stages of treatment were always the most painful for the more serious cases. Unohana reached with one hand and spread her fingers across Hitsugaya's forehead, and with a quick burst of reiatsu, she watched as his body relaxed again, eyes rolling to the back of his head once more before the eyelids closed.  

“Sleep, Hitsugaya-taichou,” she murmured, placing the cloth back over his eyes. 

“Stage four of treatment is in progress.”

Unohana nodded in acknowledgement, focusing her attention back on the patient. She hoped he wouldn't remember this procedure as anything more than a distant nightmare.  

--

The wind blew bitterly cold outside the cave, seeping through the small opening and chilling the shivering, huddled inhabitant to the bone. Not even the familiar warmth of the dragon behind him helped, and moment by silent moment, he felt himself weakening, as if someone had turned the tap on his strength to full blast. Blinking frost-laden lashes, Hitsugaya sluggishly cast his gaze on the dragon behind him, the dragon's breath shuddering harshly in his ears.  

He opened his mouth to try to offer empty encouragement to the dragon – and himself – but sharp pain shot through his chest, and he lost the breath to speak. They'd both been badly wounded this time.  

Hitsugaya cast a baleful look at the hallway that had encased his memories; its entranceway was now ensconced in thick ice. He didn't need to see beyond the blockade to know what was there – all that was left were the shattered remnants of what had once been a source of identity. Now? Now he didn't even know what was his, and what had been planted there by Gin.  

Hell, he didn't even know if Gin was real at this point, nor did he have the energy to care. 

"There won't… there won't be any waking up this time, will there?" Hitsugaya asked wryly, once he had the air to say so. 

"Toushirou," the dragon's voice rumbled. "It doesn't have to be that way." 

"I don't have the strength left to fix it, dragon," Hitsugaya sighed. "There's nothing left there, anyway. Karura made damn sure of that."  

Hyourinmaru growled in admonishment. "I know how it should be." 

"Then you fix it," Hitsugaya said bitterly. "I'm not going back there." 

"Toushirou, that isn't like you, and you know it." 

Hitsugaya turned his head sharply to face the dragon, and instantly regretted it as pain shot through his spine. "Damn it, I don't even know what I'm like anymore – how do you expect me to piece together a puzzle when half the pieces are fake?"  

"Rely on me, then, to tell you which pieces to use." 

Hitsugaya sighed; Hyourinmaru wasn't one to lie, was he? "There's no point, anyway. Gaining my memory won't keep me alive." 

"But your resolve will, Toushirou." 

Hitsugaya didn't have much to say to that, except… who would care if he lived? He was a criminal now anyway, at any rate. Even if it wasn't his fault, he had broken the code – he remembered. Or, at least, he thought he did.  

Maybe he didn't.  

Gods, not this train of thought again. 

"That wasn't you, Toushirou." 

Gritting his teeth, Hitsugaya had to clamp down on the urge to argue with Hyourinmaru, but he knew that it was stupid to even try. The dragon was right; Karura – the son of a bitch – had been in control for far too long. Hitsugaya sure as hell wasn't going to let Karura have the last laugh in his own body.  

What was it with the villains trying to hijack his mind these days, anyway? 

"They see potential." 

"And that means–?" 

Hyourinmaru stayed silent. For all Hitsugaya cared, the dragon could have shrugged, or could have said "I know something you don't, and you'll just have to find out the long way," for all the good the silence did.  

"Let me guess – if I have the strength to argue, then I have the strength to get out of here, right?" Hitsugaya said dryly. 

Hyourinmaru's long whiskers pulled back to reveal long, pointed white teeth; it was as much of a smile as Hitsugaya could hope for from the dragon. The damn thing wasn't only smart, but had a sense of humor, too. Hitsugaya supposed he could have been stuck with a worse partner.  

Standing slowly – it hurt like hell to move – Hitsugaya panted until the pain faded to a manageable level before he began staggering towards the ice that surrounded the hallway. Without a word, Hyourinmaru followed.  

--

Renji wasn't sure how they'd known they were short several members of their team, but somehow, they must have. They must have. The timing was far too perfect. He'd been meditating when he saw the dark rip cut a gaping black hole in the sky, and even before he saw who was behind it, he was already standing with his gigai at his feet, one word coming to mind.  

"Fuck." 

He wasted no time rushing his way back to Inoue's place, startling her as he barged in the door. To be honest, he was extremely relieved that he hadn't had to hunt for her; lately, she'd been taking up training with Rukia in order to try to protect herself. But if Rukia couldn't handle an Espada, then it was a safe bet that neither could Inoue. Though it hadn't yet been confirmed that the intruders were Espada rather than average Arrancar, it was better to be safe than sorry, in this case. They might not be trying to kill her yet, but they certainly were interested in her. Renji hadn't heard any good explanation as to why that might be the case – Inoue was a human girl with some unusual but extremely efficient healing abilities, but Renji doubted that Aizen wanted her for that skill. Perhaps there was something about Inoue that the rest of them had missed that made her especially valuable.  

"We have a problem, Inoue-san, and I'm going to have to ask you to come with me to Urahara's," Renji said seriously, feeling a little guilty for startling the poor girl.  

Inoue didn't seem to mind. She nodded, eyes equally serious, and grasped Renji's outstretched hand. He hoped that the others would know where to meet up – in Matsumoto's and Hitsugaya's absences, Renji had formulated what he hoped would be a plan of action should such a situation arise. Inoue would be placed under Urahara's protection, and then they would all meet at the place where the rip appeared.  

Urahara was waiting for them when they arrived at his shop, a terse grin on his face. "Inoue-san," he greeted, and offered a nod to Renji as well.  

"I leave her to you again, Urahara-san," Renji said, and then he left. 

His next line of business would be to inform Soul Society that they were engaging the Arrancar, and to have them send back-up. Summoning a hell butterfly as he ran, he whispered the message to it and sent it on its way back to headquarters. Chances were that they'd already noticed the invasion, but Renji hoped that such news would entice them to send a second unit to help fend them off this time, especially since they were rather sure their target was Inoue. Urahara had inferred as much after the most recent Arrancar attacks that he'd known something about it, and knew that they had been after Inoue. If the enemy wanted her so badly, then they weren't going to let them have her, even if she was merely a human girl and not an actual shinigami.  

It did make Renji wonder why it was that they wanted her so badly. One of these days, he would have to corner Urahara – somehow – and make him explain. Until then, he had Arrancar to kill.  

Ichigo's reiatsu exploded in Renji's senses, and after the initial shockwave had died down, he was able to pinpoint the location of the fight. He was relieved to know that Ichigo was in action; the boy was indeed a powerful ally to have in a situation like this, despite his inexperience. Renji knew that Rukia would be with him, and Renji hoped that their combined reiatsu would attract enough attention that they would distract the Arrancar away from their actual goal. Highly doubtful – it didn't exactly work that way the last time, since the Arrancar seemed to be pretty damn smart – but thankfully Urahara had foreseen as much and had managed to protect Inoue, as he would this time. Urahara was also a powerful ally to be grateful for, in Renji's book.  

When Renji finally picked out how many Arrancar had arrived this time, he put on speed; Ichigo and Rukia wouldn't be able to handle them all alone. Renji fervently hoped that Yumichika and Ikkaku realized what had happened and would be on their way to help as well.  

They were going to need all the help they could get, if these Arrancar were anything like what they had encountered before. 

--

Matsumoto still felt vaguely sick when Unohana quietly led her to Hitsugaya's room in the infirmary. Even though she now knew Yamamoto was trying to save Hitsugaya rather than kill him, she still felt at least a little angry at the old man. Why had he questioned Hitsugaya so harshly anyway, even though he knew exactly what was going on? Why hadn't he protected his subordinates better? Why had he allowed this kind of treachery to happen? There were so many things she wanted to ask him – accuse him of – that it made her head hurt with confusion. She hoped fervently that Hitsugaya would at least be told the truth if-- when he awoke. All such thoughts fled, however, once Unohana sat her down by Hitsugaya. The young captain was horribly pale, and the fact that the covers were pulled to his chin even in such warm weather had her wondering what they were hiding beneath.  

"I've put him in a deep sleep," Unohana explained quietly. "It'll help ease the pain until he's healed enough to bear it." 

Matsumoto grasped the closest of Hitsugaya's hands between both of her own; shivering at how cold it was to the touch. Pressing it to her forehead, she tried hard not to cry as she recalled the last time Hitsugaya had spent a great deal of time in Unohana's care. Only this time, she hadn't been there to support him.  

"Will… will he be okay?" she finally asked. 

Unohana placed a gentle hand on Matsumoto's shoulder. "That will be up to him. It'll be easier to tell when he is awake," the healer replied honestly. "Until then, you're welcome to stay with him. Try talking to him; he may be asleep, but I think it helps to know that there are those here who care."  

Matsumoto nodded, not looking up. She heard the rustle of cloth as Unohana quietly excused herself and left Matsumoto alone with her captain. For several moments, all Matsumoto could manage was to silently sit by Hitsugaya's side, clinging on to his cold hand. After all he'd been through – all of them, really – she couldn't bear the thought of losing him to a plot that was even older than he was.  

Why had she not seen Gin's betrayal sooner? She should have noticed something, especially back when they were so close. She remembered when Gin became Aizen's lieutenant, but she hadn't seen a change then. Perhaps he had been fooling her all along as well, dragging her into his brutal mind games. It made her regret not taking Gin's life when she had it in her hands, the day he betrayed them all. If she had, then Hitsugaya wouldn't be laying here half-dead, and she wouldn't feel that gaping, empty hole left in her chest. Even though Hitsugaya was her captain, she was still older than he was, and she felt at least partially responsible for not looking out better for him.  

It made her want to scream. 

"Taichou, I'm so sorry," she whispered instead. "I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. Please… please hang in there; I don't know what we–… I would do if I lost you, too."  

She squeezed his hand, and the moved one hand to brush his bangs from his face as he slept. Remembering Unohana's words, she continued to whisper encouragements to Hitsugaya to hold on, and when she ran out of words to say, she sighed, and instead began filling him in on what he'd missed in the Living World.  

--