I'm still pretending I'm not a fool

It seems I live in front of my computer or at a computer. At work I'm always in front of one and once I get home I am either gaming or watching youtube/twitch/Netflix. I hardly ever watch TV, well unless The Apprentice is on.

I want to do something creative.

I want to create something.

I can't draw for shit and I can't sculpt, although I really want to, at least attempt, that garage kit I got of Gally (Alita) from Gunnam (Battle Angel Alita).

It will most likely turn out horrible but I guess you gotta start somewhere right?

I just feel a little useless if I am honest. And I have realised I just can't sit in front of this computer for the rest of my life.

I want to write but I can't seem to get it out of my head.

I long to write more fanfiction of Valen Shadowbreath from Neverwinter Nights Hordes of Underdark and my original character Ashura. Those two mean the world to me, especially the relationship I formed between them. And Ashura has such a rich and sad background, the same with Valen as told in Hordes of Underdark.

I guess I have to muddle through and force myself to do more. It's very taxing because I procrastinate way too much.

Ugh!

neverwinter