TaleWeaver's tapestry

fanmix: Our Unholy War (Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works the series)

nessataleweaver — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 13:37:01 GMT

Hah! Just made it! Entry for waywardmixes Round #30: magic

Both covers are taken from artwork for the show, just with text added... because when you've got pix this gorgeous, why not use them? This is also the quickest set of covers I've made in ages... maybe it's the artwork, but these are both my first draft - I was just really happy with the font and colours and blocking I chose first try!

as always, zip on mediafire

Fandom: Fate Stay/Night: Unlimited Blade Works (anime tv series)
Subject: The Fifth Holy Grail War, and some of the Servants and Magus who fight in it.
Title: Our Unholy War.
Warnings/Notes: mentions of violence, and some truly sickening child abuse. Major spoilers for the show!

Characters shown: Centre are Shirou and Archer, back to back. Clockwise are: Illyia, Beserker, Lancer, Saber, Rin, Gilgamesh, Assassin (though you have to squint) and Caster.

Mashino Ayano - Ideal White
30 Seconds to Mars – Conquistador
celldweller - It makes no difference
Queen - Gimme the Prize
Marionette - Yes, Prisoner
Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home
O Fortuna
Fireflight – Unbreakable
celldweller - blackstar
Paper route - Glass Heart Hymn
Aimer – Brave shine

About the fandom:

Fate/stay night is a Japanese visual novel with three different storylines, or ‘paths’; ‘Fate’, ‘Unlimited Blade Works’ and ‘Heaven’s Feel’. Each path has a different plot, reveals different details about the characters, the main cast tend to have different fates, and the protagonist ends up with a different girl in each path. A few years ago, FSN was made into an anime, based mostly on the ‘Fate’ path, with a few details from the other two. In 2010, a full-length movie based on UBW was released; it did so well that a TV series adaption of FSN: Unlimited Bladeworks was screened in 2014 & 2015. The original anime and the UBW movie are both out on DVD; UBW the series is barely available on blu-ray, but it's a special edition and extremely expensive - I recommend the streaming services (crunchyroll) right now. A movie version of Heaven’s Feel has been greenlit, but I don’t know whether it’s in production or not.
There’s also a prequel light novel, which has also been adapted to anime (available on DVD and Blu-ray), called Fate/Zero, which details the events of the Fourth War, ten years previously. It was actually commissioned by the game company just because so many fans wanted to know more about it.
All three paths start with the same premise; Shirou Emiya, a high school student and amateur magus living in Fuyuki City, Japan, is dragged into the Fifth Holy Grail War, a secret magical tournament. In it, seven participants, known as Masters, and their Servants, reincarnated personifications of legendary heroes of history, fight in a battle royale for the Holy Grail, an omnipotent magical chalice that can fulfill any wish or desire for its victor. Shirou and his Servant, Saber, quickly make an alliance with his high school classmate Rin Tohsaka and her Servant, Archer.
Shirou has a Hero Complex – literally. Idealistic to the point of dangerously naïve, he genuinely wants to be a Hero and Save the World. This complex is due to being the only survivor of a mysterious natural disaster ten years before, which killed thousands and left him with no memory of his family or who he was before. Waking up in hospital, he meets Kiritsugu Emiya, the man who saved his life, and is adopted by him.
His ally and opponent, Rin Tohsaka, is as complicated as he is straightforward. Rin lost her father in the Fourth War, and her sister before that to the machinations of another Magus family, the Matou (they also have a Master in the War). She’s literally spent her entire life preparing for this battle, and her Servant despises Shirou with a strange intensity.
But despite Shirou’s desire to end the Fifth War with as little bloodshed as possible, it’s likely to end up even messier than the Fourth. That’s because both the Servants whose last battle became that same mysterious disaster have been Summoned again. One of them is Saber, who serves Shirou as she served Kiritsugu in the Fourth War.
That’s not the only connection, either – almost every Master is connected to another somehow, and nearly all of them have a connection back to the Fourth War, as well – and half the time they don’t even know it! It’s not just because most of the available slots in the Holy Grail Wars are passed down through the Magus Families, either. Fate isn’t just a word in the title, not in any variation of this story.
For that reason, I really recommend you watch Fate/Zero first, if you have the patience, because it gives you a lot of backstory that will enrich any of the FSN shows – especially in regards to Rin and Sakura, and Shirou, his father and their respective relationships with Saber.

Also worth noting is that in both this and Fate/Zero, if you know the historical or mythological stories behind each of the Servants, they seem to be oddly well-matched.
FYI: the classes are Archer, Lancer, Beserker, Rider, Caster, Assassin, and Saber/Knight (there's something of an argument about this. But the character has always been called Saber.)

Full tracklisting - beware spoilers

Mashino Ayano - Ideal White (OP #1)
Maybe it’s cheating, (it’s the opening theme to the show’s first season) but I like this song; and these lyrics actually apply pretty well to Rin’s past and her connection to Shirou, both present and future.

(translated from Japanese)

Fate now connects
The meaning of my birth
And the reason that we met

This bright, bright white future
Is our one and only hope
Someday I'll grant both our wishes with my own hands

I leave my footprints in the white, white ideals
Piled up like snow again today
Right now I don't have anything but these reckless feelings
But there's not just one right answer
I'm always searching for a tomorrow that's just for me

30 Seconds to Mars – Conquistador
I actually discovered this through an AMV at my local anime convention, AVcon, earlier this year. I’ve had it on high rotation ever since. It fits the theme of the Holy Grail Wars so well I keep wanting to ask Jared Leto if he saw the first anime before he wrote this!

This is a fight to the death,
Our holy war,
A new romance, a trojan whore

(We will, we will, we will rise again)

This is a fight for the day, night,
Black and white
A victory dance, a burning riot

(We will, we will, we will rise again)

“I am the, I am the best!” she claimed
“And more, a battle scarred conquistador.”

(We will, we will, we will rise again)

This is a fight for love, lust, hate, desire
We are the children of the great empire

(We will, we will, we will rise again)

This is a fight to the DEATH!

celldweller - It makes no difference
The magus' and their heroes about the Holy Grail and the heights they will rise to – or the depths they will sink to – in order to claim their wish.

We are all here waiting
We're anticipating
While they are orchestrating
To grant the wishes we are making

It makes no difference who we are
It makes no difference who we are

No price too great, no distance too far
If we could wish upon a Blackstar
It makes no difference who we are
When we have wished upon a Blackstar
When we have wished upon a Blackstar
They'll grant our wish upon a Blackstar

Queen - Gimme the Prize
Theme for Gilgamesh, supposedly the most powerful of all the Servants, and one of the Servants returning from the Fourth War. Outside their catastrophic battle in the Fourth War, Gilgamesh has an odd relationship with Saber, albeit one-sided. I’m not sure whether he has a major crush on her, or just sees her as the only one powerful enough to give him a worthy fight. Possibly both.

Here I am, I'm the master of your destiny,
I am the one the only one, I am the god of kingdom come,
Gimme the prize, just gimme the prize,

Give me your kings, let me squeeze them in my hands,
Your puny princes,
Your so-called leaders of your land,
I'll eat them whole before I'm done,
The battle's fought and the game is won,
I am the one, the only one,
I am the god of kingdom come

So gimme the prize!

Marionette - Yes, Prisoner
Theme for the Master Magus Illyia (or Illyasaviel) von Einzbern. A white-haired snow fairy of a little girl (she’s 13, at most), who gets paired with the Beserker, Hercules. She’s also equal parts tragic and ruthless – she’s usually responsible for the death of at least one of the other Masters. Unknown to either of them, she’s also Shirou’s sister – Kiritsugu was married into the von Einzbern family so he could be their representative in the Fourth War.
I picked this more for the music than anything – the hard rock riffs in the opening, giving way to the ethereal main piece, reflecting on Illyia’s personality and appearance

(translation from Japanese)
Which shineth as a flame in the midst of your palace
and reigneth amongst you as the balance of righteousness and truth.

Move therefore and show yourselves.
Open the mysteries of your creation.

Be friendly unto me,
for I am the servant of the same God [whom you also worship],
the true worshiper of the Highest.

Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home
Theme for Sakura Matou, the original Master of the Servant Rider, but who gives her place to her brother Shinji. She’s also Rin’s younger sister, who was given to the Matou family by her parents as a toddler because the power in the Matou bloodline was growing thin. Remember what I said about Servant's backstories reflecting their Master's? Rider is Medusa – the original version who was raped and then doomed to kill pretty much everyone who ever approached her, which led to her becoming utterly insane.
Which is almost as bad as what happens to poor Sakura. From toddlerhood, she’s abused physically, emotionally and magically by her adopted grandfather, who brings new meaning to the term ‘monster’. Honestly, going into any actual detail would make me feel sick. (trigger warning if you have an issue with maggots) Shinji later joins in, only he adds sexual abuse to her life as well. It's really no wonder that in the 'Heaven's Feel' route, she snaps and goes gloriously, murderously beserk.

Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.

O Fortuna (artist unknown)
Theme for Shirou’s Servant Saber, arguably the most popular Servant (although nearly every character in the fandom has a following), and his initial love interest. Most of the other Servants are more or less true to their origins, but Saber has one twist – a big one. She’s King Arthur – or rather, She-King Arturia, who had to disguise her gender (including marrying Guinevere) in order to be taken seriously and rule.
The theme of Servants mirroring their Master continues, here – they both are highly noble-minded and idealistic, with a burning ambition to make the world a better place. But in Saber’s case, she saw her dream turn to ash because no one else could live up to her example, and it drove her to despair. She was profoundly affected by the Fourth War – her wish then was to get a re-do to get it right, but now she wants to alter history so she never pulls the Sword from the Stone at all, because she thinks it was her rule that destroyed Britain.

(instrumental, mostly. There’s some Latin chanting. This song and Arthurian legend have been absolutely entwined for me, ever since I saw the 1980 movie Excalibur, which used this song to great effect.)

Fireflight – Unbreakable
Rin Tohsaka, and her eventual relationship with Shirou. Fiery, sarcastic, highly intelligent and immensely skilled as a Magus, Rin hides a depthless pain and loneliness. She’s lost her entire family, but the Fifth War gives her a new one; Shirou, his older sister figure Taiga, Archer and Saber (for a time) and even returns Sakura to her.
Rin is just plain awesome. One of the reasons UBW is generally considered the best of the paths is that she’s featured so heavily.

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see?
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

celldweller - blackstar
Theme for Archer, Rin’s Servant. This is where we get into the best twist: Archer is actually the future Shirou Emiya! In the ‘original’ version of history, Shirou’s quest, and the guilt of the many he killed to save many, many, more, left him bitter and despairing. (Remind you of anyone – like Saber?) Archer’s wish is to confront his younger self, and either kill him or persuade him to leave behind his ideals.

They move without a sound
And their eyes will paralyze who gaze into
They’ll leave you gagged and bound
To the whip of the wish they’ve granted you

They’ll let you try
To reverse everything
Don’t waste your time
Sing Hallelujah because you can’t change anything

Paper route - Glass Heart Hymn
Shirou and Archer Emiya, and their conflict over Shirou’s ideals versus Archer’s bitter experience.

Cut like diamonds
Set aside like an ocean’s island
Or a child in a field
With nowhere to go

Memories
As heavy as a stone

There’s a ghost in the mirror
I’m afraid more than ever
My feet have led me straight into my grave

I am empty
In my end you are my beginning

Aimer - Brave Shine (OP #2)
Again, stealing from the show – but again, I feel this really applies to Rin and Shirou and how they fight through and stand together, not only during the Fifth War but in their lives afterward.
Whether or not Archer succeeded in the end is a matter of interpretation; in the Fifth War’s aftermath, Shirou is still determined to save the world, but he’s forearmed with Archer’s memories - and with Rin, who promises to stay by his side and help keep him from becoming what Archer was. Archer himself makes peace with his past life and finds closure in the end, leaving his regrets behind him.

(translated from Japanese)

Our crimson paths crossed, like an ignorant child
I wandered through the unbreaking night

The weakness to lose what can't be lost
The fragility to lose faith in everything
Even if I can't stand anymore, destiny presses on

Break down, the crumbling constellations fight through the night
You're breaking dawn, in the midst of our promises
I draw closer to the sole dream that held me up

If I can protect what's dear to me
I'll take on everything and search for tomorrow

I'll light the dawn

If I reach my hand towards the brave shine
We can still make it through the night, covered in scars
You save my life, I've found the light at the end of my tears

fanmix: Young Wizards (Nita & Kit: I know the song of your heart)

nessataleweaver — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 13:06:04 GMT

For waywardmixes again! This time, the theme was 'first fandoms'.

A friend/ship mix for Nita and Kit was the second idea I have EVER had for a fanmix – no, really, most of this tracklist is the second entry in my potential fanmixes file. I’ve edited the file more than a few times, but the entry after this is for my fave anime, Full Metal Panic!, which came out in 2002, though I think I discovered it a couple of years after that. But yes, I’m sure I’ve had this particular fanmix on the boil for around thirteen years.

Young Wizards isn’t quite my first true fandom – that honor goes to Agatha Christie, or maybe Doctor Who – but this was the first fandom I found stuff about when I when first ventured into the strands of the World Wide Web (anyone else remember when it was called that?)… sometime in 1996, I think.

Again experimenting with a single-image cover for 8tracks purposes. And I really will get around to actually uploading something any time now (whistles innocently) In this case, I just found the cover of the first book and did some crop, cover, and type. Yes, this is a scene from the book. Not quite as good as riding a zombie dinosaur, but it's still a pretty awesome moment, isn't it?

download the .RAR at mediafire

Young Wizards - the primer

YW is supposedly a young adult series (and yes, I was when I first started reading them!), though it deals with some very heavy subject matter – for a start, a character dear to Nita and/or Kit dies nearly every book, and it’s damn heart-wrenching. Every. Single. Time. There’s also a lot of highly-researched technobabble, usually about physics – it probably won’t surprise any reader that Diane Duane, the author, is also the writer of some of the most well-received Star Trek tie-in novels (including the classic Dark Mirror – which contains a shout-out to the second YW book!).

One of the frustrations of being a fan is that Duane takes SO FREAKING LONG between books. I understand she’s got other stuff to do and other books to write, and she switched publishers between book 4 and 5, but… Hell, book 10 was announced in 2011. It was supposed to be published in 2013. Amazon is now taking pre-orders for a February 2016 release. I mean, seriously! It means that if you read them in rapid succession, there’s a considerable jolt in the early books – while the internal timeline covers maybe two and a half years (when they first meet, Nita is 13 & Kit’s 12, and they’re in freshman year of high school in the most recent books) the original three books were published between 1983 and 1990! But Duane has since released ‘new millenium’ rewrites of the first five or six books in ebook format to smooth out the pop-culture and technological issues, and has spoken on her blog about revamping the whole timeline to fit; for a start, Kit and Nita are now both 13 when they meet, and will be 16 in book 10.

In the first book, So You Want to be a Wizard (still a personal nominee for most awesome book title ever), Nita is hiding from bullies in her beloved local library, and is snagged by what turns out to be the Wizard’s Manual. When she goes looking for a suitably private place to attempt her first spell, she finds another Wizard in the very same situation – Kit Rodriguez. They accidentally wind up transporting a sentient white hole to Earth (it makes sense in context), and are thrown headlong into their Ordeal, which involves getting back the powerful magical book which describes everything in existence. Among other things, they travel into a parallel universe which takes the form of a very scary nightmare version of New York City.

‘Ordeal’, you ask? Well, unlike Harry Potter, wizardry is about more than a genetic talent – you must be offered Wizardry, by the Powers That Be – the beings who created the universe and all within it – and you don’t get the offer unless you have the right kind of personality. Wizardry is basically about fighting the end of the universe, and death itself – technically known as entropy. Once you take the Oath, you have to undergo an Ordeal to prove you’ve got what it takes… and canon states that not everyone survives it. Wizarding missions also frequently involve a direct face-off (for Nita, Kit and later allies anyway) with the Lone Power – the one who created entropy – or one of his cultural manifestations. (I’m sure you can think of a few) This is the main reason for the high body count – every book involves a defeat to a manifestation of the Lone Power, but they all involve a great sacrifice… and it’s usually a life.

One of the really awesome things about this ‘verse is that Wizardry isn’t just a human thing – the very first book introduces feline wizards (who got their own spinoff novels), and the second book, Deep Wizardry, takes Nita and Kit underwater and introduces whale and dolphin wizards… and a truly memorable shark. I spent a long time after this book being very careful about reading anything I signed twice – Nita not listening to advice about ‘don’t forget to read before you sign’?? Has truly dire and absolutely terrifying consequences. Then in High Wizardry, Nita’s irritatingly brilliant sister Dairine impulsively takes the Oath, and sets off on a tour of the universe; she starts by going to Mars and leaving the door open behind her. It features a cameo by the Fifth Doctor Who, and introduces a wide range of alien species. Later recurring characters in the series include a wizard who’s shaped like a giant centipede, and one who looks like a five-and-a-half-foot pine tree (who likes wearing baseball caps).

Nita and Kit, for various reasons, both feel very alone in the world when they meet – both have loving families, but have no real friends in their peer groups. They’ve never had a best friend before, and it opens a whole new world for them both – especially since they (initially) can’t tell their families about how they can talk to trees, take magic portals through time (though it’s a fairly complicated process), and teleport to the moon. Their bond, formed partly under the pressure of their Ordeal, is intense and whole-hearted. They will follow each other to the end of the universe and beyond, and they both know it. Right from the start, Kit and Nita are true partners in every sense of the word except romantic. Nita’s parents finally get worried enough about this at the start of A Wizard Abroad to send Nita overseas for a holiday - though it turns out it’s not entirely their idea, since The Powers have a job for Nita, Kit, and Dairine to do in Ireland.

Other people also have trouble understanding Nita and Kit’s friendship - a running gag from book 2 onwards is people thinking that Nita and Kit are having sex (note, they’re only 13 when it starts!), and Nita and Kit finding this increasingly annoying.

The fifth book (the first originally published in the 21st century) is not only a darker turn for the series, but also a turning point for Nita. In The Wizard’s Dilemma, Nita’s mother is diagnosed with cancer… and it’s very advanced. The Lone Power offers Nita a deal: he’ll cure her mother, if Nita gives up Wizardry in exchange. Unfortunately, it’s right after Nita and Kit have a fight because they’re finally feeling their hormonal insanity like regular teenagers (no, UST is not involved), meaning Nita’s cut off from her partner when she needs his feedback and support more than ever… and no, it’s not a coincidence.

The aftershocks of this carry directly into A Wizard Alone, and directly inspires the setup of Wizard’s Holiday. Wizards At War finally winds up the ongoing sub-arc of the effects wizardry can have on pets – namely Kit’s dog Ponch. A Wizard of Mars is the closest thing to a standalone book as you get in the YW series, but it again features several recurring characters and ongoing subplots carried on for at least four books. (I cannot emphasize this enough: READ THEM IN ORDER!) Kit and Nita finally become a couple at the end of this book… although it’s not so much a huge revelation, more ‘Y’know, we should really start dating’ ‘Yeah, I think so too’. Duane has long promised that Nita and Kit won’t exactly have a pop-culture typical teenage relationship - to quote: “Terms like “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are merely convenient labels, often more convenient for those outside the relationship than those inside it: and the characters involved are aware of this (as will become obvious in Games Wizards Play).”

I know the song of your heart
Nita Callahan and Kit Rodriguez: partners in wizardry, friendship and other stuff.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words - unknown

Full tracklisting with lyrics and explanations

Favourite friend - Snow Patrol
(Nita & Kit never had a true friend until they found each other – & together, they’re invincible)

You're my favourite friend
We rule the world together
With our secret codes
And plans we can't remember
From now on, must be strong
My favourite friend
You're my favourite friend
When I need you
And when I don't as well

You and me – Plain White T’s

You and me, we couldn't stand being normal
That's why we, make a good you and me
We both laugh, at the most random situations
That's the key, baby don't you agree?

You know what I'm going to say, before my mouth even makes a sound
And that's why we make a good you and me
I know from the sound of your breathing, exactly what you are feeling
This is why we make a good you and me

My hero is you - Hayden Pannettiere

When my world goes crazy, you won't let go
When the ground gets shaky, you give me hope
When I try to push you away, you never move

Now when I start doubting, you help me see
There's a strength, and a mind, and a power in me
You believe there ain't nothing I can't do
My hero is you, yeah
My hero is you

Fly me to the moon – Claire (NGE Director’s version)
Kit, Nita, and a lot of other wizards spend a lot of time hanging out on the moon. The view is really, really, awesome. One of the greatest benefits to wizardry is knowing that yes, something is out there and it’s wonderful!

Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars

I will follow you into the dark – death cab for cutie
“Kit, it's been the best.” “See you in Timeheart.” - High Wizardry

Love of mine
Someday you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light
Or tunnels, to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark

If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

Another heart calls – All-American Rejects (with The Pierces)
Their theme through the majority of The Wizard’s Dilemma – fighting and frustrated and wanting to connect by turns.

Talk to me
I'm throwing myself in front of you
This could be the last mistake
That I would ever wanna do
Yeah all I ever do is give - it's time you see my point of view

Just as soon as I see you
But didn't I, but didn't I tell you
As deep as I need you,
You wanna leave it all

What can I do?
Say it's true
Or everything that matters breaks in two
Say it's true
I'll never ask for anyone but you
But I know what you want is to figure it out
And God knows I do too
What can I do?
Say it's true
I'll never ask for anyone but you

Filter – One
Kit at the beginning of ‘A Wizard Alone’ – how can he be so lost just from not having Nita beside him?

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one, it’s the loneliest number since the number one
No is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes is the saddest experience you'll ever know
‘cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever know
One is the loneliest number, even worse then two

A little’s enough – Angels & Airwaves
Kit POV to Nita about losing her Mom - Kit knows he can help, if she’ll only let him.

I, I can do anything
If you want me here
And I can fix anything
If you let me near
Where are those secrets now
That you're too scared to tell
I whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself

I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad
Your smile is gone; I've noticed it bad
The cure is if you let in just a little more love
I promise you this, a little's enough

Some unholy war – Amy Winehouse
Wizards at War

If my man was fighting
Some unholy war
I would be behind him
Straight shook up beside him
With strength he didn't know
It's you I'm fighting for
He can't lose with me in tow
I refuse to let him go
At his side and drunk on pride
We wait for the blow
[..]
He still stands in spite of what his scars say
And I'll battle 'til this bitter finale

Suddenly I see – KT Tunstall
“Wait - Neets is hot. How have I completely managed to miss the fact that Neets is hot?”
– Kit, A Wizard of Mars
Actually, re-reading the scene where Kit realises this, the second verse is oddly ironic (Nita has turned herself Gulliver-sized to get two warring peoples to stop fighting and listen to her)! And yes, this is pretty much the very same way that Nita realises it’s mutual. Cue eyeroll from everyone who ever reads this book.

Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl

And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Mona Lisa (world comes down) – All-American Rejects

You can sit beside me when the world comes down
If it doesn't matter then just turn around.
We don't need our bags and we can just leave town.
You can sit beside me when the world comes down.

We say and we do
All the lies, the truth
And all I need is next to me.

ARTWORK: couplesbigbang 2015

nessataleweaver — Mon, 31 Aug 2015 14:01:11 GMT

Seriously thought I'd posted this already... apologies to Cassandra.

So, despite Avengers: Age of Ultron crushing my BlackHawk shipper dreams, I still signed up as an artist for couplesbigbang (still not sure why it doesn't get more participants). I really meant to write something for it this time, but my now-traditional June-August malaise got me again. Maybe next year???

I haven't kept up with this particular author, but apparently this is several stories down the line in the series she started with 'Betting on You' (which I did artwork for last year). Have to say, I think I did a better job last year... getting my due dates mixed up and finished this in a rush is no excuse. Hope she likes it anyway.

Story: Heart's Changes (link at AO3 to be added)
Author: Cassandra S Fisher

fanmixes: From Dusk till dawn season 1 (Gecko Bros & Seth and Kate)

nessataleweaver — Tue, 25 Aug 2015 12:15:50 GMT

Okay, as day 29 of my project 31 Nights from Dusk till Dawn, I finally finished off the two EP fanmixes I've been percolating since last... what, August? When I finally realised this show existed and how awesome it was?

I've put both of them together this time for ease of access. Tracklistings are behind the cuts

download

The Gecko Brothers will always ride again – Seth and Richie Gecko

No rest for the wicked – Lykke Li
Seth and Richie’s childhood wasn’t so much growing up, as an endurance contest. Maybe they could have turned out to be law-abiding citizens... but thanks to their father and probably Uncle Eddie, I doubt it.

There'll be no rest for the wicked
There's no song for the choir
There's no hope for the weary
If you let them win without a fight

Dirty deeds (done dirt cheap) – AC/DC
Seth and Richie are professional criminals, thank you very much!

Pick up the phone, I'm always home
Call me any time
Just ring 36 24 36 – hey,
I lead a life of crime!

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap
(Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap)
(Dirty deeds and they’re done dirt cheap)

Born to raise hell - Motorhead
Seth and Richie have a destiny ahead of them that they can’t even dream of.

Don't you be scared, don't you be scared
Everybody terrified, it don't seem fair
What are you waiting for?
What do you think you were created for?

Born to raise hell, Born to raise hell
We know how to do it and we do it real well
Born to raise hell, Born to raise hell
Go on out and boogie 'cos you never can tell

Reason to believe - sum 41
Richie and Santanico; Richie’s always been different, & she promises all the answers he dreams of

I've been waiting for something for so long
To show me the answers that I want
A reason to believe in that's so strong
But I don't think that it exists
{...}
Everybody's got a secret, can you tell me what is mine?
Can you tell me what you'd find, I'll tell you if you keep it
I promise not to lie, oh

You know my name - Chris Cornell
Fighting themselves, monsters, and each other, from dusk till dawn

Try to hide your hand
Forget how to feel
Life is gone with just a spin of the wheel

Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize - it may never fulfil you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?

The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name

He ain't heavy (he's my brother) - The Hollies
post-season 1; Richie and Seth leave in different directions with different companions, but destiny won’t let them be apart too long

The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows when
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother

download

I did the Seth & Kate cover in just one pic, because I want to start uploading all my fanmixes to 8tracks eventually, and they only allow one pic. Think I might edit it a little to make the songlist clearer first, though.
ETA: now edited and improved!

Where shadows of sin meet holy light – Seth Gecko and Kate Fuller (season 1)

I make the good girls go bad - Cobra Starship (Seth)
“Oh, I remember him; handsome devil” – Motel maid, episode 4

I know your type
Boy, you're dangerous
Yeah you're that guy
I'd be stupid to trust
But just one night couldn't be so wrong
You make me want to lose control
{...}
You heard that I was trouble but you couldn't resist
I make them good girls go bad

What girls are made of - garbage (Kate, general theme)

Tell me, please, what little girls are made of
Sugar and spice and all things nice
But we can bleed for a whole week straight
Every month, and the pain doesn't faze us

Do you really think we give a shit about what you said
Or what you ever did?
Do what you want, but I'm not listening
'Cause I'm not fucking about

You think you know what I can do
My virgin tongue, oh see how it fools you

The one that got away – The Civil Wars (Seth)
Seth has done many bad things in his life and doesn’t regret most of them... but he will always regret what his actions have cost her.

Oh, if I could go back in time
When you only held me in my mind
Just a longing gone without a trace
Oh, I wish I'd never ever seen your face
I wish you were the one
Wish you were the one that got away

Devil in the wishing well - five for fighting (Kate POV)
Kate sees things in Seth and Richie that most don’t. By the end of the show, she might just be proven right.

I met Jane at the center of the earth
It was dark there was dirt all around
But I gather you can figure that
Jane says I'm your body in the night
And I'll lead you where you might find yourself
Better if you follow me

So go right and you'll be left at a big hotel
You'll meet the devil at the bottom of a wishing well
You know you better give him something - give him something good
Like everybody else he's misunderstood

Beggar's prayer - Emiliana Torrini (end of s1)
“Seth? You want some company?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

Lord, You just dropped me here by this side of this road
Out here's too cold, and I don't want to walk it alone
I've got a bottle of your blood inside me
And an old beggar's prayer on the tip of my tongue

Falling Down - Oasis
Driving away from the Twister and into the dawn of a new world

A dying scream makes no sound
Calling out to all that I've ever known
Here am I, lost and found
Calling out to all
{...}
The summer sun, it blows my mind
Is falling down on all that I've ever known
Time to kiss the world goodbye
Falling down on all that I've ever known
Is all that I've ever known

fanmix: Junk Science (Walter/Paige of Scorpion)

nessataleweaver — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 11:26:52 GMT

So after just over a year, waywardmixes is back!!! So for the #28, they chose the theme 'shiny and new' - or mixes about shows, books, movies, or other fandoms that have been released since July 2014, when the last round was supposed to end.

It was a tough call between two of my shiny new fandoms, Daredevil and Scorpion, but the second won out because... well, I thought that someone else would be doing Daredevil anyway, because it's been such a phenom. But at least I can do it later!

I picked a ship!mix for Walter & Paige, because they're the couple I'm shipping right now that have actual progress, albeit at a very slow burn (Matt and Karen are still very much in the friend zone. But the Avocado trio are an awesome friendzone!), and aren't currently sunk in the Bermuda Triangle in canon (unlike SkyeWard from Agents of SHIELD, or Victor and Lily from Penny Dreadful). Although from what little I'm seen of FDTD season 2, I have some actual hope for Seth and Kate. But given that show, I'm just hoping they both make it to the end of the season alive....

Anyway, onto the mix! The explanatory bit for waywardmixes is below the covers, with the full tracklisting below that.

Download the ZIP at mediafire

I was trying to get some of the pics to overlap each other at strategic points; I thought it looked interesting. Not sure how well it turned out. (sigh) I really need to properly learn how to use photoshop or something and lift my graphics game.

Scorpion is an action/drama show focusing on a group of geniuses who work as extreme problem-solvers-for-hire, mostly on retainer to Homeland Security. It’s plots tend to the outrageous, occasionally to the point of outright unbelievable (though as the producers point out, if it was simple then someone else would have fixed it already), but it’s a lot of fun! One of the reasons the show is so enjoyable is that alongside the action, there’s frequent flashes of humour (several of the team are deadpan snarkers) and the drama (sometimes to the point of fully justified pathos) of the difficulty these people have communicating with ‘normals’ and the ‘real world’, as well as the major personality flaws that all four geniuses have (which they’re all matter-of-factly honest about). Scorpion is the name of their company; as the pilot opens, it’s on the verge of going under because they tend to do things like get so focused on creating a loss algorithm that they forget to pay the bills.

The founder of Scorpion, Walter O’Brien has one of the highest IQ’s ever recorded, and his genius is focused on mathematics – specifically computers. He has the social manners of a honey badger, (he’s a lot like BBC Sherlock, for similar reasons) but also possesses natural charisma and leadership ability. When he was eleven, the FBI came all the way to Ireland to arrest him for hacking into NASA (he wanted the shuttle blueprints for his bedroom wall). This introduces him to Cabe Gallo, who will spend the next several years mentoring him, and becoming a surrogate parent. Without Cabe and his awesome older sister Megan, (a recurring character on the show) Walter might have become an actual evil genius or mad scientist. However, when Walter is sixteen, a tragedy occurs that will permanently scar his mind and soul: Cabe asks him to create tracking software to help drop military aid packages. Several months later, Walter sees TV news footage of Baghdad being carpet-bombed – and immediately realises that the bombs are using his program. Two thousand civilians died. Sixteen years later, Walter still carries their metaphorical blood on his hands. It’s given him a Hero Complex to the point of suicidal behaviour (his favoured forms of stress relief are smashing coffee mugs and high-risk activities like drag-racing with Serbian gangsters – yes, this was a B-plot once).

On the same day that Cabe, now an agent with Homeland Security, comes back into his life with a crisis that Scorpion can’t walk away from, Walter meets Paige Dineen. At first glance, Paige is utterly ordinary: a feisty single mother working as a waitress, the focus of her life is her ‘challenged’ son, nine-year-old Ralph. However, it only takes about five minutes for Walter to recognise a fellow genius, and this revelation turns Paige’s world upside down (in a good way). It doesn’t take much longer than that for Walter to recognise Paige’s considerable talents for dealing with both genius and normal people. By the time night falls, Walter has offered Paige a job as Scorpion’s client liaison – or as he puts it, Walter will translate Ralph for her so she can truly connect with him, and she will translate the rest of the world for Scorpion. From early on, both Walter and Cabe specifically recognise Paige as the missing ingredient that has made Scorpion truly coalesce as a team; unspoken is that Ralph is what truly makes them into a family.

Walter and Paige are most definitely a slow-burning romance: for every two steps forward, there’s one or even one-and-a-half steps back. Paige will always put Ralph first, and part of that is recognising the importance of Walter’s mentor bond with him. Walter is… well, Walter. Despite his genius and good looks (and genuine devotion to his sister and found family), Walter isn’t exactly the most viable option for a relationship – for a start, he believes that romantic love “is nothing but a junk science”; a psychological illusion created by society. Toby (the group’s behaviourist; think Patrick Jane turned up to eleven) eventually has to show Walter a whiteboard to illustrate his (accurate) theory that Walter has feelings beyond friendship for Paige. It includes a bar graph, pie chart, and two Venn diagrams. Plus sketch figures. Walter’s still not buying it.

Despite Walter’s stubborn denials, this Tin Man is slowly but steadily growing a heart, and it’s all down to both Ralph and Paige. This is very clearly illustrated in the two-part season 1 finale: Walter learns that Cabe knew about the bombing run on Baghdad three days before it happened, and promptly fires him as Scorpion’s government liaison. But there’s worse to come - Ralph starts emulating Walter’s suicidal heroism, and Paige understandably panics. She quits Scorpion, with the intent of taking Ralph across the country and possibly starting over with his father. After a heartrending argument between them, she bids a tearful goodbye to the others. Walter mutters, “I don’t need her; I don’t need Cabe,” as he grabs the keys to the Ferrari that he’s been loaned by a grateful private client – and crashes through the guardrail on Mulholland Drive. The final episode of season 1 is about the team reuniting in order to get Walter safely off the cliff before the unstable ground gives way and sends him crashing to his death. It’s not exactly a spoiler to say they succeed, and it gives Paige another revelation, about her feelings for Walter. The final shot of S1 is Paige beside Walter’s hospital bed, watching over him while he sleeps. She tells him “…Because I really care about you, Walter,” and steals a kiss. (opinions on this are varied among both the fandom and shippers)

Season 2 spoilers say that Walter will find out about the kiss, and he and Paige will decide to keep their friendship as is… but the producers have also pretty much confirmed that Walter/Paige will happen eventually, it’s just that there’s a long way to go before it’s really feasible.

As a nice bonus for the Walter/Paige shippers, the actors who portray them, Elyas Gabel and Katherine McPhee, are currently dating in real life, which has led to some lovely behind the scenes pics of them doing things we hope their characters will one day. That’s where the back cover comes from – going by the outfits, it’s a BTS pic from episode 1x14, ‘Charades’.

Junk Science
(a fanmix for Walter O’Brien & Paige Dineen from Scorpion)

* The scientist – Glee version (Walter, “It’s just… junk science.” Yes, I know this one’s a bit obvious, but I really couldn’t go past it. I’m using the Glee cover because a) if there’s more than one version, I like to use the lesser known b) this is sung by more than one voice, and Scorpion is about a GROUP of geniuses and c) I already had this version.)

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress

* Tip of my Tongue - The Civil Wars (Walter's truly taken by surprise by the effect Paige and Ralph have on his life, but ill-equipped to handle it. Or, y’know, understand or accept it.)

Oh dear, I never saw you comin'
Oh my, look what you have done
You're my favourite song
Always on the tip of my tongue

* Over my head, The Fray (I keep hearing this whenever I watch the scene in 1x19 with Walter, Toby and the whiteboard.)

But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along

Everyone knows she's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in over my head

* Family – Christopher Bingham (I really wanted a family-themed song to represent Ralph, since he’s such an essential part of each of their lives, not only Paige and Walter’s relationship. This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind (it’s from the POV of a child of two same-sex couples) but these particular lyrics say a lot to me about the ‘Cyclone’ – the found family that is ALL of Scorpion. Which is even better.)

Love defines it's boundaries
Limitless shapes, countless forms
I have vowed that when it comes to me I'll take it
Every manifestation, I'm gonna celebrate it

Oh the old world is turning around like a top
And there's nothing you or I should even try to do to stop it
There aren't any limits when you follow the line that love leads
And lots of us are happy in a different kind of family

* Nobody lives without love - Eddi Reader (After Ralph’s father vanished from their lives, Paige thought it would be always be just the two of them against the world. The brilliant, exasperating, hopelessly stubborn and heroic man who makes it possible for them to truly connect – who gives her the first job she’s ever had where it feels like she’s really needed and valued… no. Paige never imagined that a man like Walter O’Brien existed.)

Thought I could live my life as a stranger
Hide from the heartbreak that love always brings
Make it to the higher ground
Try to turn the volume down
Couldn't stop the sirens from singing
Sing for me baby

You came along like a flash of your lightning
Crashed into my life like a runaway star
Feels like I'm falling in gravity's action
And now I'm standing here, offering a stranger my heart

Nobody lives without love
Nobody gets to give up
You can try to lock your heart away
But love it will come back for you some day
Nobody lives without love

* So Contagious - Acceptance (Paige POV; she’s got a good idea how she feels, but not sure what to do about it – or if she should)
Oh no, this couldn't be more unexpected
And I can tell that I've been moving in so slow
Don't let it throw you off too far
Cause I'll be running right behind you

Oohhh, when I'm around you I'm predictable
Cause I believe in loving you with first sight
I know it's crazy but I'm hoping to
To take a hold of you

Could this be out of line? (Could this be out of line?)
To say you're the only one breaking me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
Keep me hanging on so contagiously

* New Modern Love - halestorm (All of this says “Paige” to me. I can see various verses and even the chorus as her answer to the various people who ask her whether she really knows what she’s doing with this her-and-Walter thing. Especially an answer to Walter himself.)

I won’t pretend that I don’t feel the way I feel
I can’t forget the taste of something that’s real
Step into my closet and maybe you’ll find
Something that’ll scare you, something that you like
Your old familiar logic is poison on your lips
It’s nothing in the water
That’s just the way it is

You can’t rewire these circuits any other way
Yeah, you can twist the signal
The message is the same
Step out of your bubble and maybe you’ll find
Something that’ll save you, something that you like
Your old familiar logic is poison on your lips
There’s nothing in the water
That’s just the way it is

I’ve got an uncommon love
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up
I don’t care if you don’t want it
‘Cause I, I got it
I don’t care if you don’t get it
‘Cause I, I still want it
I’ve got a new modern love
I’m not giving it up
Not giving it up, no

casestory 2015: artwork for "Take the stars from my eyes" by karennia_rune

nessataleweaver — Fri, 03 Jul 2015 10:43:43 GMT

Wouldn't you know it? I actually get this done early, and the @##%! modem breaks!

Anyway, since my last two fics for casestory were both crossovers with 'Grimm', and I had a great time with both, I thought I'd keep the habit. Wise choice! 'Take the stars from my eyes' is a really interesting fic - I'm looking forward to reading the complete story.

'Take the Stars from my eyes' by karennia_rune: read it here on AO3

Did a title page, and fanmix - which probably would have been longer, if I'd had a longer draft, but oh well. I originally had an idea about using all Irish artists (thus the two U2 songs), since this fic focuses on the Celtic myth/legend of Cu Chulainn.

I used a shot of a forest for the fanmix cover because forests seem to be a bit of a running theme in the story - and in both shows, come to think of it.

mediafire download for fanmix (cover and tracks) (one song NSFW)

Song tracklisting (no real spoilers here, for once)
Blood of Cuchuulainn - Jeff & Mychael Danna (opening credits and scenes. It's from the Boondocks Saints movies; I tried it for the title, and found the music worked really well)

Elevation - U2 (Rory's POV on how Maggie makes him feel)

Sick Individual - Halestorm NSFW (Maggie's theme.)

I still haven't found what I'm looking for - U2 (meant to be a 'montage' song, with Nick, Hank, Dyson and Kenzi all looking for answers they're having a lot of trouble finding! And yes, this is my sense of humour coming out again)

Moondance - Nightwish. (Rory's flight and the Grimm Fae Gang's pursuit. Something about this track always makes me think of running through the woods)

Take it Home (Riley's Siren Mix) - thenewno2 (end credits. Since Dyson and Kenzi's secondary mission during all this is just to get the heck home, I thought it fit. And I really like the song)

ARTWORK: (couplesbigbang 2014) Betting on You

nessataleweaver — Mon, 25 Aug 2014 12:16:15 GMT

Well, I wound up dropping out of the couplesbigbang as an author (though if I'd realised how long I had from rough draft turn-in to posting, I would have just begged off the artwork and taken the time to turn in my story!) but I did manage to contribute as an artist, at least.

My story was about one of my fave couples, Clint and Natasha of the MCU. 'Betting on You', by Cassandra S Fisher, can be found HERE, and the couplesbigbang LJ community - if you want to join in next round - can be found HERE

I was really taken with the 'betting' part of the title, so I knew right away I wanted to play with the gambling concept. I do wish I'd found a more complete picture of the gun though, to symbolise Russian roulette; not only as a way of not only illustrating the gambling metaphor, but also the stakes Clint and Natasha are playing for - not only their love, but their lives.

I wanted to do a contrast of either a black and white background with colour pictures to stand out boldly, or the other way around. I couldn't make out my mind, so I did both!

FANMIX: Silver Stars and Pie (Mary and Marshall, In Plain Sight) (wayward mix #25)

nessataleweaver — Wed, 23 Apr 2014 15:52:44 GMT

finally, waywardmixes round #25 is giving me the boost to post my fanmix for Mary and Marshall of In Plain Sight!

The series final of IPS was such a damn clusterfuck - for every Mary/Marshall shipper, and to a certain extent most fans of the show - that the shipper mix I was working on HAD to go past the series and fix things... so this mix is part 'shipper, part fix-it, and actually always has been!

For those who've never seen it, In Plain Sight (which features in a few other entries here in my LJ, if you click the tag) is a TV show that ran from 2008-2012, about two US Marshals who work in the Witness Protection Program, played by Mary McCormack and Fred Weller.

Mary Shannon is fiery, stubborn to the point of death, prickly, intensely loyal (mostly to people who don't deserve it), downright phobic of change and terrified of any kind of committed relationship, and very, very damaged by her shitty childhood (more on this in a minute). Marshall Mann (yes, he's Marshal Marshall!) is laid-back, a font of trivia and interesting hobbies, intensely loyal (mostly to people who DO deserve it) and while he has some family angst of his own, is far more stable and well-adjusted than Mary - and an unofficial part of his job is following Mary around and picking psychic shrapnel out of everyone who she mows down in the course of her average day. They are both utterly badass (though Marshall hides it better), superb at their jobs, and a near-matchless team.

The title comes from their Marshal's badges, and a long-standing love of pie that has become part-tradition, part-running gag between them; one of Marshall's many catchphrases is 'Pie makes everything better'.

ZIP file can be downloaded at mediafire

(if you already know about the series, just skip to the bottom for the tracklisting)

When the series opens, Mary and Marshall have been partners and BFF's for roughly 3 years. Marshall is right on the verge of admitting he's in love with Mary, while Mary can't even admit that Marshall's her best friend until he's been badly wounded.

Most of Mary's character flaws stem directly from her aforementioned shitty childhood; her bank-robber father walked out after joining the FBI's most wanted list. This left seven year old Mary as the primary caretaker of her infant sister, Brandi - and her alcoholic, promiscuous, shiftless mother, Jinx. (I'm really not a fan.) Mary's in her thirties when the series opens, and has basically moved to Albuquerque from New Jersey partly to join WitSec, but also to get away from her mother and sister's never-ending demands of her. However, the respite doesn't last beyond the pilot episde. Jinx and Brandi spend several years freeloading off Mary, during which they don't give her rent or contribute to the household expenses, and constantly whine and bitch at her about her 'killjoy' ways, the huge amounts of time she spends working, and her inability to 'keep a decent man', while expecting her to come to the rescue whenever they get themselves into trouble. Admittedly, Brandi improves greatly around season 2 and starts to actually grow up; however her own childhood issues cause a major back-slide at the end of season 4 (mostly because I don't think the producers had the budget to keep the actress on full-time). Jinx takes several seasons to get sober and is very nearly as annoying at the end of the show as she was at the beginning.

Mary might be described as 'unlucky in love, lucky in getting laid' - which is how she wants it, for the first half or so of the show. However, at the end of season 3 comes a major turning-point; Marshall has finally had enough of his and Mary's push-pull of hearts, and suggests that what she really needs is a serious relationship with someone who loves her, who she loves in return. Barely unspoken is that HE wants to be the other half of that relationship. Mary panics, runs away to Mexico on vacation, and reverts to form by inviting sleazebag Special Agent Faber (who was universally hated among the fandom even before this!) to join her. Marshall's near-heartbroken by this blatant rejection, and decides that six years of waiting, hoping, and suffering are enough; he quickly forms a relationship with Abigail, a detective in the Albuquerque PD (popularly known in the fandom as 'Texas Cheerleader Barbie'). In a lot of ways, the fandom became splintered between the diehard shippers who wanted Mary to yank her head out of her fucking ass already, and those who thought that Marshall, quite frankly, deserved better - not to mention a small faction who genuinely liked Abigail.

Due to actress Mary McCormack's real-life pregnancy, things became even more complicated when Mary fell pregnant after a one-night stand, triggered by a jealous hissy-fit on Mary's behalf because of Marshall's happiness with Abigail. When S4 opens, Marshall has by all appearances given up on Mary as a romantic choice. But when Mary finds out she's pregnant, Marshall doesn't tell her 'I'm your best friend, I'll do whatever I can to support and help you', he doesn't tell her 'I'll be the best Uncle ever, if you keep the baby'. No, he tells her 'We're having a baby'. Not just identifying himself as a parent to Mary's child, but by implication as Mary's partner.

In S5, Marshall's story arc could have involved him and Mary learning to redefine their partnership and friendship, now they each have someone in their lives (Norah and Abby) who is as important as each other. It could have been about Marshall struggling with a proper work-life balance, now that each half of his life, in and out of the office, now has a living human representative. But instead, Marshall's story arc in the final season was about choices of the heart. It also continuously foreshadowed that he would have to make a choice between Mary and Abby that was not be about priorities or even loyalty, but about love. Even his own father hinted that Marshall was choosing the woman he believed he should have, rather than the woman he wanted. And it was also continually implied that in Marshall's heart, Mary still comes first - she's the one he gets out of bed for at 4am.

The fifth and final season was cut short by 5 episodes, more or less at the last minute; I've wondered more than once if things would have ended differently if the producers had had a chance to play out the S5 story arc they originally planned. The show itself ship-teased the audience like mad both consistently and continually, for the entire five seasons! Instead, the final episode had Marshall promoted to Chief Inspector (thus Mary's boss), engaged to Abby, and a heartbreaking discussion on the balcony of the WitSec office, when Marshall asked Mary to set him free - in effect, he couldn't quit her, so he needed her to quit him.

I discovered the series shortly before season 5 started, and promptly obtained DVD box sets of seasons 1-3. I was three-quarters of the way through season 1 when I found out the basics of the series final, 'All's well that ends'. I put them up on the shelf, and haven't opened them since. After posting this, I may actually go back and try watching it again.

There were lots of places where I could 'fix it', but I went for the one that hurt the most; the series finale. Basically? Marshall and Mary miss each other so much they finally work out that life without their partnership isn't a life worth living - and nothing can fill the gap. So Abby moves back to Texas in a huff (she DID have lots of warning, after all) and Mary and Marshall become partners in life and love. (I never did quite work out what to do about Marshall technically being Mary's boss; usually, I like to think that Stan, their old boss, transferred back and Marshall gave up the promotion - because he was basically forced into it by departmental politics - ostensibly because he didn't want to give up fieldwork yet)

Silver Stars and Pie
A fanmix (and fix-it!) for Mary Shannon and Marshall Mann
Of ‘In Plain Sight’

Awake My Soul - Mumford and Sons (Mary)

Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes - I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free

I Will Possess Your Heart - Death Cab For Cutie (Marshall)

How I wish you could see the potential,
The potential of you and me
It's like a book elegantly bound,
But in a language that you can't read

Cut Me, Mick – Yellowcard (Mary)

Someplace somewhere behind me
I walked right through the truth
Truth is that you’re the one thing
That always pulls me through
This troubled life I choose

Right Here Waiting - Staind (Marshall)

I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending
It's as much as I can take
And you're so independent
You just refuse to bend
So I keep bending 'till I break

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
If you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

It's Been Awhile - Staind (Mary) – WARNING: NSFW LYRICS

And all the things I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that are rendered
I stretch myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile since I could say
That I wasn't addicted
It's been awhile since I could say
I loved myself as well as
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up
Just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear
When I'm with you

All Over You – The Spill Canvas
(Marshall – S3 finale, ‘A Priest Walks into a Bar’. After Marshall finds out Mary went to Mexico with Faber.)

Yeah he's a looker,
But I really think it's guts that matter most.
I displayed them for you,
Strewn out about from coast to coast.
[...]
In my daydreams, in my sleep,
Infatuation turning into disease.
You could cure me,
See all you have to do now is please try.
Give it your best shot and try.
All I'm asking for is love,
But you never seem to have enough.

I gotta feel you in my bones again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again,
I'm all over you.
I'm not over you.
This life is way too short
To get caught up in all this stuff
When I just want you to love me back,
Why can't you just love me back?

Criminal – Fiona Apple
(Mary’s counterpoint. She’s screwing up the best thing in her life and she knows it, but she can’t stop it. Everything good in her life gets destroyed, so crushing it herself first has gone beyond habit to compulsion.)

I've been a bad bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad sad world
When a girl will break a boy just because she can
[...]
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love

Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds
Before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand
But I keep livin' this day like the next will never come

One Hit – The Rolling Stones
(S4: Marshall decides he has to move on, for his own survival)

One voice calls out my name
Shook me straight to the mark
(Straight from the heart)
One punch and you knocked me down
Tore my defenses apart
One round took me out of the game
You did me some permanent harm

It took just one hit
It took just one hit
It ain't enough for me
It ain't enough for me

Oh, your love is just sweet addiction
I can't clean you out of my veins
It's a life long affliction
That has damaged my brain

The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most – Dashboard Confessional
(Mary in S4: It’s not enough anymore and she knows it, but she’s too scared to do anything about it... or admit it)

Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
And hidden in the public eye
Such a stellar monument to loneliness
Laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes
Perfect make-up, but you're barely scraping by
But you're barely scraping by...

Well this is one time, well this is one time
That you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
Or anyone at all...or anyone at all
And the grave that you refuse to leave
The refuge that you've built to flee,
The places that you've come to fear the most,
Is the place that you have come to fear the most.

You’re not the only one who feels this way - Ammonia
(S5: Marshall can’t help himself; he’s beyond second thoughts – more like one-hundredth)

Cuts like pins and needles
Miles and miles away
Hope to let you in
Hours and hours a day
Come to this conclusion
These walls couldn't stay
This is the first and last time
Ever feel this way...
Ever feel this way

I put the phone right down and
There’s nothing left to say
This is my only defence
The only game to play
Think this is easy for me
I pray to choose a fairy tale
But if I play to win?

Losing You – Dead by April
(Mary, S5. She sees him slipping away, but she can’t muster the honesty – or the courage – to do anything about it)

Distant, so far, destiny is selecting me
I can't be strong, life is disconnecting me
Now loneliness infecting me
Gone are the days, you were there protecting me

So cold (so alone)

All I have is you
(It is all that I'm waiting for)
All I need is you
(Now I can't make it through)
I am losing you forever
(I am lost in pain without you)
I am leaving ground forever (forever)
All I have is you (It is all that I'm breathing for)
All I need is you (Now I can't make it through)

Miss You Love – silverchair
(‘that’ talk in ‘All’s well that ends’. First verse Mary, second verse Marshall. Last part both)

Got a big shot deal
And thrown it all away but
But I'm not too sure
How I'm supposed to feel
Or what I'm supposed to say
But I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day
And I miss you love

Make room for the prey
'Cause I'm coming in
With what I wanna say but
It's gonna hurt
And I love the pain
[...]
And I miss you love
And I miss use love

I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I'm supposed to love you back

Always, All Ways (apologies, glances, and messed-up chances) – lostprophets
(Mary, post-series. That whole ‘let go’ thing isn’t exactly working out)

I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry,
But it always comes out wrong,
I think a part of you still loves me,
Even though we're moving on.
[*]
And I'm sorry for what happened,
But I want you there to see,
That I'm changing all my actions,
I don't wanna set you free.

Always, all ways I want to see it through
Always, all ways me and you
And I wait here on my own,
And I wait for you to see,
All the time I spend alone now won't comfort me

Trying Not to Love You – Nickelback
(Marshall, post-series. Yeah, it’s not exactly working out for him either.)

You call to me, and I fall at your feet
How could anyone ask for more?
And our time apart, like knives in my heart
How could anyone ask for more?

But if there's a pill to help me forget,
God knows I haven't found it yet
But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far
And trying not to need you, is tearing me apart
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for
'Cause trying not to love you
Only makes me love you more

True Tears of Joy – Hunters & Collectors
(So this time? The ‘talk’ goes the way it SHOULD HAVE, DAMMIT!!)

Come on confess your confusion
Spread it around
They trickle down your cheeks, tears fall
Like seed on barren ground
Your thoughts are scattered
Like paper everywhere
Tiny pieces of laughter and despair
But you cry true tears of joy

Forever – RED
(The mostly-happy ever after: Mary)

I ignored the signs, opened every door
But I couldn't find what I searched for
I try to fight but I turn and run
Every move I make is the wrong one
You patiently waited for my next mistake
I know it won't be much longer
You waited 'til I sobered
You came when you knew that the game was over
I didn't even want to be found
[...]
You gave me so much more
Than I could ever ask for
But I turned and followed
A road that left me hollow
And still you waited for me to come back home
You brought me home....

Here With You – Saliva
(The mostly-happy ever after: Marshall)

Well the first time I ever seen your face
I saw the ghost behind your eyes
Ever consuming me with your warm embrace
You're a woman and a child

And in just one second
Just one moment
It finally feels like home

From Memphis to Oklahoma
From Boston to California
From Detroit to Arizona
I will always be forever,
Here with you

In life there will be trials and troubles
But we will always have each other
And there will never be another woman in this world

FANMIX: Double-edged Blade: Triela and Victor Hilshire (Gunslinger Girl)

nessataleweaver — Thu, 20 Mar 2014 16:51:16 GMT

another wayward mixes #24. The tragedy and just plain beauty and irony of this ship just gets me.
The most razor-edged version of falling in love with who someone is on the inside, not what they look like.
The most impossible of loves, because one half can't even admit it to himself without possibly plunging into insanity.
The most doomed of loves, because the other half won't live long enough for that to change.

WARNING: this fandom combines the tragedy levels of William Shakespeare with the violence of Quentin Tarentino. Triggers for sexual abuse of and violence against children (including torture for profit and fights to the death), human trafficking, child soliders, psychological brainwashing and control, terrorist attacks, PTSD… the list grows even longer if you throw some of the other characters into the mix!

ANOTHER WARNING: spoilers for the whole of the series, including the epilogue. Includes character deaths.

ZIP file is here

Vermilion part 2 (acoustic) - slipknot
Check please - Cold
Saint Simon - The Shins
Elegy - Carina Round
Razorblade kiss - H.I.M.
Cuts both ways - Gloria Estefan
Cold (but I'm still here) - evans blue
Makes you happy - The Levellers
For everything a reason - Carina Round
Witness - Sarah McLachlan
Wherever you will go - The Calling

Gunslinger Girl is a manga by Yu Aida, completed in 15 volumes which are currently all available; English translation issues – including rights lapsing and being bought by another company – mean that the manga itself has been published in eight books. GG has also been adapted to anime, consisting of two 13-episode seasons (again, by two different companies) and an OVA, which are all available on DVD.

In ‘the near future’ (more or less) the government of Italy has founded the Social Welfare Agency as a cover for it’s most secretive, cutting-edge counter-terrorism agency. As a counter-measure to the Mafia tradition of training boys from childhood as hitman, the SWA finds young girls who have been catastrophically crippled, occasionally by accident or illness… but in the case of the principal cast, mostly through malice. Bleeding-edge medical treatment turns the girls into cyborgs, capable of super-human feats of strength, endurance and sensory reception – and through a paired processed called ‘conditioning’, brainwashes them to total obediance and love of their handlers. These girls become efficient machines for handling the government’s dirty work, used as assassins and spies. All the handlers are either military or law enforcement, highly-skilled and usually decorated, and many of them personally select the girls they are paired with.

If it sounds hinky – it is. But while this system seems ripe for abuse, the SWA is actually very, very careful about who it picks as handlers (with one tragic exception) so the majority of the ‘fratello’ (Italian for ‘silbing’) relationships are relatively healthy (‘relatively’ being the operative term), though the dynamics vary from parental/child, teacher-mentor/apprentice, gothic-novel-style guardian/ward, one that’s probably best described as hunting dog and obediance trainer, and a fraternal relationship that borders on (and eventually crosses the line to become) dangerously obessive adoration.

Another tragic catch is that the conditioning drugs are also essential to the ongoing surgical maintenance of the cyborg’s artificial parts - and it gradually destroys not only their memory centres, but eventually all brain function completely. The first generation of cyborgs have roughly 7 to 9 years of ‘active service’, depending on how often the conditioning drugs are used outside of direct medical treatment i.e. by their handlers for training and control purposes. In a silver-lining twist, Italy has become the world leader in all kinds of ‘replacement’ medical treatment, from artificial limbs to synthetic organs… because the parts are tested out on the cyborg girls, first.

In a cast which includes a girl all but sold to the Agency so her mountain of medical bills won't bankrupt her parents, a girl whose own parents tried to murder her so they could maintain their lifestyle with her life insurance, and a girl who, in the course of one horrific night, watched all her family murdered one by one while she was repeatedly raped... Triela might actually have the worst story of all.

Several years before the story begins, a young German detective named Victor Hartmann is working for Europol(Interpol in the fan translations). He all but begs to join the task force against human trafficking, only for the head of the team to tell him he's unsuitable because he'll crack under the assault of what the task force faces. In order for Hartmann to see the truth for himself, his superior hands him a DVD of a paedophilic snuff film - made by the Mafia-organised ring which is the current focus of the task force. Victor proves his superior was absolutely right (to be fair, he never denies it himself, afterwards) by going rogue. Teaming up with Rachelle Belleut, a French coroner who has been working with the corpses of the murdered children, they track down a member of the Mafia on the outskirts of the ring.

Mario Bossi has been thinking about leaving the Mafia for some time, and when Victor and Rachelle approach him, he seizes the chance to enter the Witness Protection Program and help shut down the kiddie-porn/snuff film ring. However, Victor and Rachelle's plan to raid a filming-in-progress goes wrong, and find only a single young girl, her body horribly mangled. Having taken a mortal gunshot wound, Rachelle uses the last of her strength to administer CPR to the girl and save her life.

From almost the moment he sees her, Victor Hartmann's life is completely devoted to this girl - for whom he will give up his career, his country, even his name... and eventually his life.

In the aftermath, Victor, already on suspension, contacts Mario Bossi again to help him smuggle the young girl he rescued from Amsterdam to Italy, even though doing so will badly damage the case against the pornographers. Victor has heard that Italy's Social Welfare Agency has been making remarkable medical breakthroughs, including erasure of traumatic memories - Victor believes that the girl who he has named 'Triela' (after a wine-growing region of Germany; probably also Victor's home) might recover more readily from her crippling injuries if she can't remember how she received them.

It's only when Triela is well advanced in the 'treatments' that Victor learns the truth; she is being remade into a cyborg, and brainwashed into a killing machine. Jean Croce, second in command of the Agency, more or less blackmails Victor into becoming Triela's handler, and changes Victor's surname to 'Hilshire' to cover his tracks.

Triela is not only highly intelligent but strong willed and a clever tactician (it's generally agreed that of all the G1 cyborgs, she's probably the only one who both would and could join the SWA's adult staff if she grew up). The second-oldest of the generation one cyborgs, she is not only one of the best operatives of the unusual sisterhood, but their unspoken alpha and leader. Calmly fatalistic about her fate as a cyborg, her relationship with Hilshire is often fractious in the early chapters, because he really doesn't know anything about kids; adding to it is that Hilshire flatly refuses to use anything but the absolute bare minimum of conditioning with Triela, meaning she's also the most independent thinker of all of them (except for Claes, who lost her handler before she was field-ready).

One of the most appealing things about Hilshire and Triela is that their relationship is, at it's core, a partnership - even though Triela is very much the junior partner.

One of the major turning points of the Gunslinger Girl overall story is the Pinocchio arc; it's the first major full-blown sub-arc, taking place over a full year in-universe (and was the major storyline of the second anime season, Il Treatino) and Triela is one of the main players - and proves herself the Ensemble Darkhorse of not only the cyborgs, but almost the whole cast. Triela's character growth during her pursuit of the young assassin code-named 'Pino' (the first person to defeat her in combat, and who steals the gun Hilshire gave her - to match his!), not only as a girl but as a warrior, is fascinating to watch, and deepens her relationship with Hilshire to the point where their mutal love is undeniable - at least, to the reader/watcher.

How many times have you heard someone say, 'I want to be loved for who I am on the inside, not for what I look like'? Triela and Hilshire have the most razor-edged manifestation of this I've ever seen. Physically, Triela never ages beyond 15 (at most), and while she realizes has pushed past her brainwashing to truly fall in love with the man who is the centre of her world, Hilshire can never actually admit to himself the full depth of his feelings for Triela - any element of romantic love would, to his mind, make him as much a monster as those he saved her from.

Roughly seven years after she 'came into service' (I think 18 months or so have passed in-universe, since the manga began) Triela begins to fall prey to the inevitable degrading of her brain functions; in an effort to protect her, Hilshire takes her place to carry out a kill mission, getting shot in the process. Triela treats his wound, and sneakily gives him a sedative in the process. While he is unconscious, Triela steals her first and last kiss from Hilshire, and vows "I will live desperately together and then die with this person."

It's a sacred promise that she dies keeping - as does Hilshire.

During this arc, Triela also learns the full truth about how Hilshire found her from Mario Bossi (who appears several times in the story, as does his daughter Maria - Triela's first friend outside the SWA), while she is part of his security detail as he testifies in a Mafia-related court case. The prosecutor, Roberta Guellfi, meets and soon starts dating Hilshire, with Triela's blessing (mostly because Roberta genuinely is a very likeable character, and well-suited to Hilshire).

In the closing story arc, the Italian government decides that the SWA has out-lived it's usefulness, and moves to shut down the Agency base during their biggest and most desperate battle with the terrorist group Pandania (introduced as Pinocchio's progenitors in a Dark Mirror of sorts to the SWA), at the New Turin Power Plant. Hilshire chooses to join the SWA's frontline assault team, knowing it is almost certainly a suicide mission. After being notified of his and Triela's probable fates, Roberta is given a letter Hilshire has left for her. As she reads the lines 'I thought about a life with you. I thought about it very hard. But in the end, this is the man I am', the manga shows that Hilshire and Triela have been found dead in each other's arms.

The letter also reveals that Hilshire has had several of Triela's eggs surgically removed from her ovaries, and stored for later use - and in this letter, Hilshire has bequeathed them to Roberta, entrusting her with all that is left of his Triela in this world. The final chapters of the manga are about Speranza (Italian for 'hope') Guellfi, the daughter Roberta conceived with Triela's eggs. It's never specifically mentioned who Speranza's father is; but I will always be convinced that Hilshire left a deposit of his own at the storage facility, and Speranza is his daughter too.

Double-edged Blade – Triela and Victor Hilshire
(Could also refer to the bayonet Triela likes to carry on her M1897 trench shotgun!)

Vermilion pt 2 (acoustic) - Slipknot

(their first meeting in Amsterdam, and subsequent recruitment into section 2)
She seemed dressed in all of me
Stretched across my shame.
All the torment and the pain
Leaked through and covered me
I'd do anything to have her to myself
Just to have her for myself
Now I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do when she makes me sane.

(Pinocchio arc, leading to THAT hug outside the villa)
She is everything to me
The unrequited dream
A song that no one sings
The unattainable
She’s a myth that I have to believe in
All I need to make it real is one more reason
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do when she makes me sad.

Check please - Cold
(Triela tries to work out how much of her feelings for Hillshire really are ‘just the conditioning’, and reflects on the fact that no cyborg can have a happy ending)

How am I supposed to love you?
Why am I too young to die?
How does fever burn inside you
Must I have a will to fight?

Do these questions have an answer?
Where’s the truth and what’s the cost?
All my problems form a puzzle
All my pieces have been lost

[ ….. ]

I’m dead, I see things clearly
I confess, I feel this pain
This hunger eats all my insides
Why must things be this way?

Saint Simon – The Shins
(Nothing and no one will ever mean more to him than his Triela. No matter how hard he denies it, his junior partner just keeps growing further into becoming everything he’s ever needed.)

Mercy's eyes are blue
When she places them in front of you
Nothing holds a roman candle to
The solemn warmth you feel inside

There's no measuring of it
As nothing else is love

Elegy – Carina Round
(Triela’s lament for a heart that loves where it shouldn’t, for a heart that ticks off the remaining days of her life like a countdown.
“I will live desperately together, and then die with this person.”
It’s the closest thing to a marriage vow she will ever be able to make)

Something ripped me open
From my little death woken
Fading rhythm of lifeline
Is music for a dead child
I'm skirting the rim,
Skirting the rim of reality
Skirting the rim
Love don't pull me in

Somehow everything is broken
Hours past and never replayed
I see the sickness of a love that
Though it breathes, can never be made

Razorblade kiss – H.I.M.
(and her vow is sealed with a kiss, even if Hillshire never knows about it.)

Your love is a razorblade kiss
Sweetest is the taste from your lips
Your love is a razorblade kiss
Sweetest is the taste from your lips

Oh the taste from your lips, my Darling
Taste from your lips, oh my Love

[…]

You've got to let me dream
Inside Baby
I'm not afraid to feel
I want you to love me
Cause you are the one

Cuts both ways – Gloria Estefan
(One purposely refuses to understand or realise; the other cannot say anything without forcing her partner to admit something that would destroy him. But somewhere deep inside, they both know. They love and are loved in return – no matter how impossible or forbidden, that will not change. And in their world of child assassins and ruthless enemies who target, use, and destroy the innocent, is what they feel really so wrong?)

It cuts both ways
Our love is like a knife
That cuts both ways
It's driven deep into my heart each time
That I realize
How it cuts both ways
Can't be together
Cannot live apart
We're heading straight into a broken heart
But I can't stop

'Cause I feel too much to let you go
I'm hurting you and it's hard I know
To stay and fight for what we've got
Knowing it'll never be good enough

Cold (But I’m still here) – Evans Blue
Cold, now we're so cold,
Mine, and you're not mine,
Say never
We’re far from obvious this time

You’re so endearing, you’re so beautiful,
Well I don’t look like they do,
And I don’t love like they do
But I don’t hate like they do
Am I ever on your mind?

COLD, you broke me from the very first night
I'll love you ‘til the day that I die
I'm far too comfortable this time
COLD, I loved you from the very first night
You broke me ‘til the day that I die
I'm far too obvious this time

Make you happy – The Levellers
Triela’s POV as Hilshire meets and begins dating Roberta Guellfi. She wants him to be happy, even if it’s not - it can’t be - with her.

Well, I would love to make you happy
But I'm busy with my mind
'Cause I would love to make your world right
I need your help and you need mine

For everything a reason – Carina Round
Hilshire’s goodbye letter to Roberta… and when she reads it, Roberta understands, proving beyond all doubt that Hilshire had excellent taste in women!
“I thought about a life with you. I thought about it very hard. But in the end, this is the man I am.”

And so they say Lord, for everything a reason
For every ending a new beginning
Oh so they say baby, for everything a reason
And so they baby, for everything a reason

And those who loved before will be brought back together
Yeah, those who loved before will be brought back together
{…}
I saw you leaving, I saw the light go out
I saw you leaving
I saw you leaving

Don’t call me back, I had everything I needed
For every lie, honey, the truth lay underneath it

Witness – Sarah McLachlan
She wants nothing more than to die at his side. He knows his place is beside her, always. They will be together at the end - even if it is only to die together. Triela’s vow is fulfilled.

As we carried the weight and died for the cause
Is misery made beautiful right before our eyes?
Will mercy be revealed or blind us where we stand?

Will we burn in heaven like we do down here?

Wherever you will go – The Calling
Hilshire’s foresight and Roberta’s generosity and love – for both of them, because loving one means loving the other - enables Victor and Triela to leave behind a legacy without price. Science has made what the world wouldn’t let them create – a child of their own.
The final lines of the manga are uttered by their daughter, Speranza
“First, to my mother who carried and raised me, and second, my mother in heaven and the man most special to her… I am certain that there will always be hope in the world!”

Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

FANMIX: Anam Cara : Thomas Lynley and Barbara Havers (The Inspector Lynley Mysteries-TV)

nessataleweaver — Thu, 20 Mar 2014 15:33:10 GMT

more or less finished for years! Finally managed to drag it out of mothballs for waywardmixes #24: OTP.
Please excuse the not-very-good covers - Lynley and Harvers deserve better, but these were actually some of my first real attempts into graphics.

ZIP file can be donwloaded from mediafire HERE

Anam Cara: a fanmix for Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley and Detective Sargeant Barbara Havers
(fandom explanation and tracklisting under the cut) Turns speculative at the end, because of the show's abrupt cancellation halfway through S6.

THE INSPECTOR LYNLEY MYSTERIES (tv)

Anam Cara:
Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley and Detective Sargeant Barbara Havers

(NOTE: this is partly – maybe mostly! – taken from a ship manifesto that I beta-ed and contributed to. Still not sure whether the claimant ever released it)

The Inspector Lynley Mysteries is a BBC series that began airing in 2000 and aired its final episodes in 2007. Adapted from Elizabeth George’s novels, the show follows the lives and cases of Detective Inspector Thomas Lynley of Scotland Yard (played by Nathaniel Parker) and his partner, Detective Sergeant Barbara Havers (played by Sharon Small). Initially, they’re partnered by expediency – and a contingent hoping to get Barbara thrown off the force. There were bets that this partnership wouldn’t last a month. It wound up lasting seven years – and that’s just what we see onscreen.

This pairing should never have worked. Lynley is an aristocrat born to privilege. He can be condescending, high-handed and superior. Havers is working-class; she is difficult, defensive, prickly and utterly incapable of both accepting a gesture of friendship and uttering the words “I’m sorry.” But somehow, this impossible partnership becomes a relationship greater, deeper and more all-encompassing than most people ever know. Theirs is a bond so strong it can withstand every argument they have ever had or ever will have – a bond so strong enough to overcome a wide gulf of upbringing and social class, in a land where even today the class system is very much alive, well, and respected.
It has been noted that “Lynley and Havers work so well together because no one else wants to work with them,” and there is quite a bit of truth to that statement. However, Lynley and Havers also work well together because they complement each other – Lynley’s extensive education means he can find clues and make connections most would miss, and Havers’ working-class background gives her the street smarts and common sense to balance him. Although she uniformly calls Lynley “sir”, (and he only calls her ‘Barbara’ in extreme circumstances, or when they visit Lynley’s ancestral estate in Cornwall!) she is also unafraid to take him to task when she thinks he needs it – and the more they work together, the more he listens.

The eighth Earl of Asherton, Detective Inspector Lynley is a cop by choice. He is Oxford-educated and a privileged son of a privileged family. Much as he wishes to deny it, he is an aristocrat, and he thinks like one. Nevertheless, he throws everything he is into his cases and is a temperamental man given to deep passions and strong emotion. Lynley will do what he thinks is his job first and clear it with his superiors later; often high-handed, he will take over a case almost without meaning to. This is tolerated because he is one of the best at what he does – he is a Detective Inspector when many of his fellow cops a decade older are still Detective Sergeants – and rarely fails to solve a case.

Detective Sergeant Havers, on the other hand, is a hard-working, working-class girl who has quite literally fought for everything she’s gained and never fails to take a stand when she believes in something. Cranky, foul-mouthed and with massive resentment issues, she is blue-collar bred and almost defiantly proud of it. Her first response to anything she perceives as pity, sympathy, or condescension is to make a cutting remark in hopes of driving the other person away. She’s never expected anyone to tolerate her for long, and she is thrown completely off her game when Lynley chooses to stick with her despite their initial meeting. But like her partner, there is far more to Barbara than meets the eye. She is often shy and awkward, especially in a dating situation – or surrounded by the upper class, which happens far more often than she would like – and hides a soft, romantic, almost fragile heart and low self-esteem, as well as tremendous compassion and loyalty, beneath her tough, no-nonsense shell, which makes her wonderful with children and victims.

Lynley and Havers also have more in common than you might think; both utterly devoted to their work, they’ve been irreparably scarred by respective family tragedies and are both burdened by family responsibilities they can’t turn away from. They’re also both crap at relationships (except each other); Havers never really has a serious love interest – for awhile she has a promising friendship with her Pakistani neighbour, but it never becomes anything more. Lynley, on the other hand, eventually marries Helen Clyde, one of his oldest and closest friends; however it’s nearly sunk several times before it ever starts, and they seperate fairly quickly in the show.

One of the best examples of this is at the very end of the episode ‘For the Sake of Elena’; Lynley and Havers are having a fairly depressing conversation about love (various and twisted forms of love are a major theme in this episode). Lynley’s also angsting about Helen, who still hasn’t really accepted his not-quite-epic fail of an apology for his actions during the previous episode, that screwed up her most promising relationship in years.

Lynley ends his rant with, “Tell me, Havers, have you seen one good, loving, halfway selfless relationship since you’ve been here?”

The very first time I saw this (and at the time I didn’t even understand what ‘shipping’ really was!) I immediately replied out loud, “Well, there’s your relationship with the woman sitting right next to you!”

It’s also in this same conversation that Havers calmly points out that Lynley is in love with Helen, which the oblivious man hasn’t seemed to have figured out himself. In fact, between Lynley’s blindness to his own feelings, Helen’s deep misgivings about romantic relationships, and their mutual bad timing, Lynley and Helen might not have ever gotten together at all, if it wasn’t for Havers!

It’s worth noting that Lynley and Havers’ relationship is utterly platonic in the novels; this ship is built by the chemistry and skill of the actors. This love story is mostly made up of subtext, of passing glances and carefully spoken words. One of the most lovely and most infuriating things about Havers and Lynley’s love, is that it’s so organic and subtle, that it’s basically just another aspect of their deep-rooted bond and how they regard each other. In both their personal experiences, all love (familial as well as romantic) is painful, something that you hang onto even though it hurts. They don’t realise that what they share is love because it’s so natural and easy.

The whole series (five and a half seasons of movie-length episodes) is available on Netflix; the PBS channel screened it as part of their Mystery! Block at one point. I really do recommend getting the DVD box set though, as it has scenes that were cut from the US broadcasts, if nothing else.

The title ‘anam cara’ is from Irish Gaelic, and means ‘soul friend’; in the Irish Catholic Church (quite a different practice from the Roman Catholic Church, who eventually swallowed them up in the 12th century or so) a soul friend functioned in the role of ‘confessor’ – someone who could always be trusted to keep your secrets and give you the best advice they could.

Big Machine – Goo Goo Dolls
(Lynley POV on S1 Havers; the worst prospect for his partner turned out to be the greatest)

Now this angry little girl
Drowning in this petty world
And I'm who you run to
Swallow all your bitter pills
That's what makes you beautiful
You're all I’m not
I don't need what you ain't got

Underneath the Sycamore – Death Cab for Cutie
(Lynley POV, from the mini-arc about Barbara’s troubles with her parents in S1, until S2’s A Suitable Vengeance when she finds out just how dysfunctional his own family is; in the beginning, he’s the one who realises that they’re a lot more alike than Havers thinks.)

We were both broken in our own ways
Sifting through the rubble for the wrong things
I know you've got a vengeful heart
And I cannot be stopped as soon as I start
But you have seen your darkest rooms
And I have slept in makeshift tombs
And this is where we find our peace
Oh this is where we are at least
We are the same

Broken – Lifehouse
(Havers POV S2, after Playing for the Ashes, and during In the Presence of the Enemy; I really don’t think she worked out she was in love with Lynley until after his relationship with Helen solidified (it’s not like the poor thing’s familiar with the concept, after all). It’s fairly obvious that there was more than one reason she never felt more for Robin Paine than ‘I liked you’ (despite what he thought!). That look on her face when she sees Helen and Lynley kissing after his proposal speaks volumes.)

The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
I try my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

The Beauty and the Tragedy – Trading Yesterday
(Havers’ POV, Deception on His Mind, S2. For some reason, this just reminds me of the conversation Lynley and Havers have – with him looking up at her while she leans out her hotel room window, no less! – when she’s sweetly sad but still glad that marriage to Helen is making him so happy. Not to mention, the way Lynley clearly establishes that no matter how happy marriage makes him, it doesn’t lessen how important Havers and their bond is to his life. Then their achingly beautiful final scene, when Barbara reveals he’s the only person that’s never let her down – which explains a great deal about her attitude in early S3.)

Watch your step, love is broken
I am every tear you cry
Save your breath, your heart has spoken
You already have my life

For I am finding out that love will kill and save me
Taking the dreams that made me up
And tearing them away
But the same love will take this heart that's barely beating
And fill it with hope beyond the stars
Only love

Another day, another sunrise
Washing over everything
In its time, love will be mine
The beauty and the tragedy

Darkening Sky - Peter Bradley Adams
(The closing moments of If Wishes Were Horses, S3) "Havers? Barbara… Barbara."

Oh come with me forever my love,
Under the darkening sky.
Come hide with me,
I’ll save you my love
Hear me, I’ll beg for your life

Her hair is damp,
Her skin has turned cold,
There’s hardly a sound that she makes.
Oh stay my love,
Please open your eyes,
And promise me you’ll never leave.

Crash and Burn (acoustic and live) – Savage Garden
(Lynley POV, In Divine Proportion, S4. After being held hostage and having her PTSD from her own recent shooting triggered, an unarmed Barbara takes down the gunman and beats the crap out of him, because that’s how she rolls. After being held back from entering by a Police Tactical Response Team (let me repeat that; it takes the UK equivalent of a SWAT team to keep him from going in after her!), Lynley rushes in to find Barbara as soon as the other hostages come out and give the all-clear. He completely ignores the officers arresting the very murderer he and Havers have been sent to find, instead ushering Barbara out of the pub. He knows she’s not alright, and puts his arm around her. She turns into his chest and breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably. He hugs her tightly and kisses her hair. And now remember that they’re British.

I chose the acoustic version of this, because it fits the scene much better)

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

In My Life – The Beatles
(Word of God, S4. Quite possibly the ultimate Lynley-Havers Moment.

L: How do you do it? Living alone.

H: Oh – you get used to it. I’ve never been married – I’ve never had anything you could call a relationship. So you get to a point where you just have to accept what you are, what you have. And then you find something else, and that gives you the reason to get up in the morning. [looks directly at him] And I have that, don’t I.

L: [looks directly back at her] We both do.

I also think of this as a perfect wedding song for them, acknowledging all the important people they’ve loved before they were finally ready for each other. Just my opinion!)

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more

Right Beside You – Sophie B Hawkins
(Natural Causes, S5) “You really are a double act, aren’t you?”

Now I'm standing right beside you
Other people still exist
I don't pretend to love them less but darling
When you drive this way I lose my breath

Right beside you I feel
Right beside you I am
Right beside you I kneel
Right beside you I stand
Right beside you I see
Right beside you I stay
Right beside you I'll be
Always

Is Your Love Strong Enough? – Bryan Ferry
(Havers’ POV, between In the Blink of an Eye, S5 Ep4 and Limbo, S6 Ep1; the greatest test of Havers’ and Lynley’s bond. He’s withdrawn from the entire world, including her. She’s fighting everything for him, including Lynley himself. Also something of a flashback to how and why she fell for him in the first place.)

Just one step at a time
And closer to destiny
I knew at a glance
There'd always be a chance for me
With someone I could live for
Nowhere I would rather be
[*]
Just one beat of your heart
And stranger than fantasy
I knew from the start
It had to be the place for me
Someone that I would die for
There's no way I could ever leave

Is your love strong enough
Like a rock in the sea
Am I asking too much
Is your love strong enough?

Is your love strong enough?
Just one beat of your heart
Is your love strong enough?

She – Abney Park
(Lynley POV during Limbo)

She has always watched over me
She takes good care of me
She is such an integral part of me
That I forgot who I was
And I forgot she was there
For me

We have traveled this world for years
We have consoled each other's fears
We dried each other's tears
Yet always in doubt, and never in doubt
Of we

Lullaby – Nickelback
(Havers POV during/end of Limbo,)

Well, I know the feeling
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge
And there ain't no healing
From cutting yourself with the jagged edge
I'm telling you that it's never that bad
Take it from someone who's been where you're at
Laid out on the floor
And you're not sure you can take this anymore
[*]
Please let me take you
Out of the darkness and into the light
'Cause I have faith in you
That you're gonna make it through another night
Stop thinking about the easy way out
There's no need to go and blow the candle out
Because you're not done
You're far too young
And the best is yet to come

So just give it one more try to a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby

Here by Me – 3 Doors Down
(Lynley POV post-series; from recovery to renewal and realization)

The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
This I only see the truth through all this fear
Living without you

And anything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

Absence of Fear – Jewel
(companion to ‘Here by me’; Havers’ reply)

Inside my heart there's an empty room
It's waiting for lightning, it's waiting for you
And I am wanting, and I am needing you here
Inside the absence of fear

Muscle and sinew, velvet and stone
This vessel is haunted, it creaks and moans
My bones call to you in their separate skin
I make myself translucent to let you in,
For I am wanting
And I am needing of you here
Inside the absence of fear

What about now? – Daughtry
(Both)

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.
[*]
Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

ANGSTBIGBANG: artwork for 'Out of the Dark' by flipflop_diva

nessataleweaver — Wed, 12 Mar 2014 12:04:39 GMT

... and I'm back! What, you didn't notice I was gone???

Another day, another bigbang. This time I signed up for AngstBigBang, and got the fic 'Out of the Dark' by flipflop_diva. It's Harry Potter fandom; Harry and Hermione fall in love during the Horcrux Hunt, but are unable to pull themselves away from the gravitational pull of One Big Happy Weasley Family. But they can't end their connection or fall out of love either, resulting in a great big mess with a bittersweet ending.

I got a bit carried away with this one, making three pieces of art instead of one! It's meant to be three different pages from Hermione's me-and-Harry photo album. (I did another piece where I made a pic into a 'photo' as part of a bigger display, but I can't remember how I made a frame, unfortunately (pulls face at self); because I think the second 'page', especially, would have come out much better with borders or frames around the pics.)

Quotes come from 'At the Beginning', performed by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis (yes, from the Anastasia animated film!), 'Burn' by We are the Fallen, and 'Halo' by Depeche Mode. Also I stole the title of 'Here comes the sun' by The Beatles; 'happy days' or something similar seems churlish, because it's clear at the end that Harry and Hermione left a lot of wreckage behind them, and they know that; it's the main reason why the messy situation continued so long.

I made up my mind from the start that I wanted pictures with Harry, Hermione AND Ron in both the first two 'pages', because he really was an important part of both their lives during the time in question. Apologies to Ginny fans, but honestly, has Ginny had a crucial part in the plot of any book since Chamber of Secrets? If she wasn't the Hero's Designated Love Interest she'd be somewhere between a minor and secondary character. After CoS you could probably take out Ginny and slot in Luna, Lavendar, Katie or Angelica from the Quidditch team or even Susan Bones (given her Aunt's position in the Ministry, she'd probably be more useful) and they could do anything Ginny does without changing the outcome of things at all.

'The Dark Times' is meant to be more figurative than literal, but I still tried to get gloomy and/or bleak photos for this set; which led to a whole set of challenges in itself. I still wish I could make the shot of the waltz scene from DHpart1 a little brighter and lighter, and easier to see. I really wanted to put that scene in, to show that Harry and Hermione can always find little spots of light, no matter how dark the situation, as long as they're together.

This has the nicest background pic, and my favourite quote, which might be why I'm slightly dissatisfied with it (unlike the other two). Can't seem to quite get the pics at the right angles or sizes to show enough of the lovely background (the heart-shaped lock hanging from the snowy iron gate seems so poignant, doesn't it?) without making the photos impossible to see - which is, after all, the point. I think maybe I'll re-use it some other time.

Spent a lot of time looking at post-filming-DH publicity shots of Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson for this one; I tried to use a Muggle type background, because while the author hadn't written that part yet in the draft she sent me, I'm pretty sure that Harry and Hermione left the wizarding world after the trainwreck of the ending, (at least for awhile; maybe on another camping trip to make some new memories, as shown in one of the photos!) and I can't imagine a world where Hermione doesn't go to some kind of University. This 'page' is meant to be Harry and Hermione a few years after, when the dust has settled, so I did my best to use shots with a variety of hairstyles. Let's just pretend that Harry finally got contacts or the Wizarding equivalent of laser surgery in an effort to distance himself from 'the boy who lived', and look more of a grown-up; either that, or Hermione finally told him he had to learn to perform the 'occulus reparus' spell properly himself!

FANMIX: She is tomorrow, and I am today (John/Cameron, Terminator:The Sarah Connor Chronicles)

nessataleweaver — Sun, 09 Mar 2014 13:05:40 GMT

WARNINGS: spoilers for both seasons of TSCC, including the very end of the finale, and one song has NSFW lyrics.

I actually made this mix ages - as in years ago - but for some reason, I never posted it anywhere (probably because I was thinking about using several of the songs on other mixes at the time). waywardmixes has yet again prompted me to get the lead out! (I've got at least three other mixes that are not-quite-finished that I'm going to post, too!)

zip file containing front and back covers, tracklisting, and songs HERE at mediafire

(explanation for waywardmixes and tracklisting under the cut)

Explanation for waywardmixes

If you're not familiar with the Terminator franchise... I'm pretty sure you've been sealed up in a tomb for the last couple of decades. However, here's the basics on the show.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles was a TV show that ran 2008-2009. Lena Headley (currently Cersei Lannister on Game of Thrones) played Sarah Connor. John Connor was played by Thomas Dekker (I saw him most recently in the Nightmare on Elm Street remake), & Cameron was played by sci-fi goddess Summer Glau (I think she's currently on season 2 of Arrow?)

It picked up several years after Terminator 2:Judgment Day, following the now-teenage John Connor & his mother Sarah, after they found out that Skynet - & Judgment Day - hasn't been stopped, only postponed. They find this out when John's friend at his new school - a lovely, bright girl named Cameron - turns out to be a Terminator. One that General John Connor himself captured, re-programmed & sent back in time to protect his younger self. It's not a coincidence that Cameron's first words to John as herself, rather than her 'undercover' persona, are the same words that his father first said to his mother: 'Come with me if you want to live.'

Sarah, John & Cameron escape their Terminator pursuers by using a time machine built by resistance members to jump forward in time to 2008. They are eventually joined by another time-travelling member of the Resistance, Derek Reese - John's uncle. Both he & Sarah are hostile & mistrustful of Cameron, & neither can understand John's friendship or connection with 'a scary robot' (as another character puts it). But for John, the coltan skeleton & computer-chip brain pale besides the security Cameron offers; John knows that this ally will never betray him, & this companion will never leave him, not even through death (the fact that she's also smoking hot doesn't hurt). John & Cameron were growing into their tentatively strengthening friendship with some bonus UST, when season 1 was cut short by the Writer's Strike, leaving the show on a cliffhanger - the Connor's car blows up with Cameron inside.

The season 2 opening, 'Samson and Delilah' picks up directly afterward, & leads to major developments in the Jameron relationship: the explosion damages Cameron's motherboard-chip, & resurrects her original programming, including the main directive of Skynet: Terminate John Connor. Eventually, John & Sarah take Cameron down - during which she acts more human than she ever has since that first day, & cries out 'I love you, John! I love you and you love me!' Nonetheless, John still takes out her chip - as Cameron herself taught him - but he cleans it... & puts it back, rebooting Cameron, though it means holding a gun on his mother & uncle. At this point, something happens that I really wish the show had explored the implications of: we briefly see through Cameron's eyes, including her heads up display, that shows the command to Terminate John - & then shows Cameron deciding not to. Cameron makes a conscious, self-willed choice, just as Skynet did.

However, the simple, not-quite-easy acceptance John & Cameron had is gone forever, & the full events of that day send John into a major tailspin. As a result, he throws himself into a friendship, then relationship with a girl named Riley. (there's a lot more to it, but it doesn't affect the mix) Cameron spends a great deal of time trying to repair her bond with John, & it's very obvious she's not only wary of Riley but jealous, and it makes her dangerous. Things aren't helped by Cameron's on-going concerns about her own stability, as odd side-effects of the damage to her chip recur more than once through the season. This culminates in the scene shown on the back cover, which is a major building-block in their reconciliation; Cameron implants an explosive charge inside her skull, next to her chip, & gives John the detonation switch, hidden inside a pocket-watch. Let me emphasis this: she puts a bomb into her own brain, then literally puts her life into John's hands. Cameron & John only manage to regain their former closeness very near the end of season 2.

In the season (& series) finale, things have almost literally gone to Hell: Derek is gone, Sarah has been captured by the FBI, who are screaming it to the media (so it's only a matter of time before a Terminator finds her in jail) & John and Cameron are on the run. Hiding out in a seedy motel, Cameron asks John to check on some of her inner mechanics - which involves her stripping to the waist & lying down on the bed with John on top of her! Again, it can't be a coincidence that if you watch this scene without sound, it looks exactly like a pair of teenagers making love for the first time - one losing their virginity, with the one with more experience calmly guiding her new lover through the experience.

In the final scenes of the show, Cameron's chip is taken by another character, who jumps forward into the future again - this time, to the 'current-day' War against Skynet. Minutes later, John makes the decision to leave Sarah to try & stop Judgment Day alone, while he follows in pursuit of the silicon chip that holds Cameron's memories & personality - the soul of the woman he loves.

She is tomorrow, and I am today: a shipper mix for John Connor and Cameron

Weapon – Matthew Good Band
(John and Cam’s love theme. Love can be dangerous – and for these two, that’s something of an understatement!)

Here by my side, you are destruction
Here by my side, a new colour to paint the world
Never turn your back on it
Never turn your back on it, again
Here by my side, it's Heaven

You breathe in and you breathe out
For it ain't so weird
How it makes you a weapon
And you give in
And you give out
For it ain't so weird
How it makes you a weapon

Miss Murder – AFI
(John’s time with Cameron in Red Valley. This gorgeous girl who’s interested in the weird new kid. Who turns out not to be a ‘girl’ after all.)

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I take my life?

With just a look they shook
And heavens bowed before him.
Simply a look can break your heart.

Night terror - Laura Marling
(Cameron is John’s sword and shield)

I woke up and he was screaming
I'd left him dreaming
I roll over and shake him tightly
And whisper, 'if they want you
They're gonna have to fight me'
Oh fight me

My Beloved Monster - The Eels
(No explanation needed, really!)

My beloved monster is tough
If she wants she will disrobe you
But if you lay her down for a kiss
Her little heart it could explode

She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world that's so damn mean

Slave to love – Lords of Acid
(Cameron will do whatever John requires, no matter how it could damage her.)
NOTE: This song as a whole deals with a dominant/submissive and sadomasochistic relationship. While there aren’t any swearwords in this song, most of the lyrics should probably be considered NSFW.

You rule. I adore
Use me, use me, abuse me

Make me sing with pain - break me!
Make me go insane - take me!
Make me shout your name - use me!
Use me, abuse me

Over and over – Three Days Grace
(This is against everything he was ever taught. But every time John tries to convince himself it’s just hormones, he fails. The way he feels is real.)

I feel it everyday it's all the same
It brings me down but I'm the one to blame
I've tried everything to get away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to

Burning Bridges - Chris Pureka
(John never-spoken attempt to explain to Sarah and Derek how he feels about Cameron. I kept the last line as a reference to life in the tunnels post J-Day.)

This is a story of burning bridges and allowing time to pass
This is a story of forgiveness and breaking things in my hands
This is a story of understanding you can't choose who you love
And this is a story of soft skin and rats in the walls

She is the sunlight – Trading Yesterday
(John/Cameron/Future John – what was she to General Connor, he wonders? Does HE feel the same way about her that he does – but if HE did, how could HE bear to give her up to the currents of time?)

If all the flowers faded away
And if all the storm clouds decided to stay
Then you would find me each hour the same
She is tomorrow and I am today
[…]
If loving her is a heartache for me
And if holding her means that I have to bleed
Then I am the martyr and love is to blame
She is the healing and I am the pain
She lives in a daydream where I don't belong
She is the sunlight and the sun is gone

And it will take this life of regret
For my heart to learn to forget
Tomorrow will be as it always has been
And I will fall to her again
For I know I've come too close

Sister – Icehouse
(Cameron’s malfunction in S&D, and John’s defense of her)

There`s something you ought to know
About the latest model
She`s not the usual kind
She`s made of mindless metal
She`s not exactly normal
But I don`t care she`s
Got to be the one
Got to be the two
Got to be the three
Got to be the four

Behind the scanners and tapes
She`s programmed for perfection
But sometimes simple mistakes
Get by without detection
Her figures need correction

There`s something you ought to know
About her calculation
Behind the needles and lights
She hears the faded data
Selects a random sample
The sample says I`ve
Got to be the one
Got to be the two
Got to be the three
Got to be the four

The Girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares – Machine Gun Fellatio
(John’s feelings for Cameron have become so tangled, he can’t cope. Thus, Riley.)

The girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares
I found her on tv, now I see her everywhere
She's got style, she's got violent ways about her
She's got me so that I can't dream without her
[…]

My ceiling is on fire, my feelings are on fire

Hard to believe you can't get what you're dreamin'
If you try sometimes you might find you get what you steal

The girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares

The Hill – Martika Irglova
(Cameron to John, mid-s2)

Walking up the hill tonight when you have closed your eyes.
I wish I didn't have to make all those mistakes and be wise.
Please try to be patient and know that I'm still learning.
I'm sorry that you have to see the strength inside me burning.

But where are you my angel now?
Don't you see me crying?

And I know that you can't do it all but you can't say I'm not trying.
I'm on my knees in front of him but he doesn't seem to see me.
With all his troubles on his mind he's looking right through me.

Comatose – Skillet
(John can’t hide from his feelings for his cyborg protector anymore. Cameron is what he wants – what he needs)

I hate feeling like this
I'm so tired of trying to fight this
I'm asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to you

Tell me that you will listen
Your touch is what I'm missing
And the more I hide I realize
I'm slowly losing you

Comatose
I'll never wake up
Without an overdose of you

I don't wanna live
I don't wanna breathe
Unless I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
(waking up to you never felt so real)
I don't wanna sleep
I don't wanna dream
'cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real

Death to death – Stars
(Cameron in ‘Born to Run’. That incredibly charged scene with John on the bed, then blowing away all the guards at the jail)

I am destroyer I am lover,
I am destroyer I am lover.
I love one thing, destroy the other.
I am destroyer, I am lover.

I am destroyer I am lover
I am destroyer I am lover
Why love one thing and not the other?
I am destroyer I am lover
And when I kiss I like to smother.

Senzafine – Lacuna Coil
(There is no fate but what we make. John finally makes the irrevocable choice – Cameron is the part of his fate that he can’t sacrifice)

Ma adesso ormai che senso ha
Cercare di abbracciare un passato piu puro
Guardando avanti rischierò
Ma riesco a rispondere ai miei perchè

[English translation:]

Now what's the sense
of trying to embrace a purer past
Looking forward I will risk
but I will answer my questions

Tutto ciò che sarai
Era già stato scritto
Se davvero esiste
Questo dio ha fallito

All that you'll be
It was already written
If he truly exists
This God failed

Scorre lento il mio tempo
Quell' ultimo respiro
Mi rassicura sento gia
Agonia senza fine che
Mi hai dato forse no
Non sarei qui

I'm still standing up in this moment
of pure madness
I understand no longer if
I should wish for good or evil
Even if sin maybe gives me more

Ma adesso ormai che senso ha
Opporre resistenza a un destino segnato
Non restero a guardare senza
Riuscire a resisterti
Risvegliarmi

Now what's the sense
of opposing resistance to a settled destiny
I will not be watching without
managing to withstand you
Awake me

Madre
Mother

Il mio destino scelgo
Se riesco a resistere

My fate choose
if I will resist

FANMIX: Lady Justice dances the Charleston (Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries)

nessataleweaver — Thu, 20 Feb 2014 17:59:22 GMT

Thought I'd throw my hat into the ring at waywardmixes - it should still be the 20th over in the US, right? *hopeful look*

I thought it would be SO EASY to assemble a fanmix for Phryne Fisher - umm, not so much. About 1/3 was easy; another 1/3 was cannibalised from my potential Jack/Phryne shipper mix, and another 1/3 I just couldn't work out until today.

The covers gave me some issues, too - I really wanted some Art Deco fonts for this. Finding them was relatively easy, so was installing them once I read the instructions properly. But the program I do my initial runs on wasn't registering them, so I switched to paint which won't let you alter the text once you click off it! I spent four attempts trying to get it right, until I tried my initial program again - guess once paint acknowledges it, so will the other. Really need to look into photoshop at some point.

But I am really proud of how the covers turned out! The art deco wallpapers came out rather nicely, didn't they?

ZIP files here @ mediafire

This includes all songs and the 3 covers. I didn't put in the tracklisting, this time, because wayward requires a short blurb about the fandom - naturally, mine ended up being a full page in Word! *eyeroll*

About Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries
The Honorable Miss Phryne Fisher was created by Australian authour Kerry Greenwood, with the twentieth book in the series published in 2013. Phryne is named for A) a courtesan of Ancient Greece; when she was brought up on charges in court, her lawyer ripped open the front of her robes - the court was so awestruck by her beautiful breasts she was instantly acquitted. B) The Fisher King of the Holy Grail mythology; Greenwood says this was meant to symbolise her Lady Detective ‘fishing for the truth’.

In 1900, Phryne was born literally dirt-poor in Melbourne, Australia, as the eldest child of an English ‘remittance man’ (i.e. a member of a prominent family who behaves so badly that they are exiled to ‘the colonies’ with an allowance, on the condition that they stay away and stop embarrassing their relatives). Life is not only harsh, but downright miserable for Phryne and her younger siblings (who vary from page to screen) until the Great War kills off several young men between her father and the title. So Phryne goes from fighting over scraps in the pig bins at the Queen Victoria Markets in order to eat, to England where she’s showered with material gains and expected to behave like a proper lady.

Phryne loves the bathrooms with running water, beautiful clothing and proper food. Behaving like a proper lady, however, does not appeal to her in the slightest. So she runs away from home, and becomes an ambulance driver on the battlefields of France. After the war she lives in the Latin Quarter of Paris in bohemian poverty, working as an artist’s model, until she is finally guilt-tripped into returning to her family. She becomes a quintessential Bright Young Thing, until she becomes utterly, unbearably bored with society parties, flower arranging, Good Works, and families who expect her to marry their appallingly useless sons simply because she’s slept with them once or twice.

So in 1928 (and the start of the first book), she packs up her Paris designer fashions, pearl-handled pistol, diaphragm and diamente garters (which secure both her silk stockings and her dagger), and returns to Australia, where she becomes a Lady Detective.

In 2012, she sashayed onto TV screens worldwide, played by highly regarded Aussie actress Essie Davis. Naturally, certain liberties were taken with the characters - Detective Inspector Jack Robinson, Phryne’s chief ally in the police force, is elevated from secondary character to the male lead and enduring love interest; his and Phryne’s flirtationship is a source of equal delight and frustration for fans. Also, Phryne’s younger siblings, the only-mentioned-once brother Thos, and lesbian socialist Eliza are exchanged for Janey, who was kidnapped and presumably murdered shortly before the Fishers left Australia. One of the reasons Phryne comes back in the TV show is to make sure that the man responsible, Murdoch Foyle, (who wasn’t charged with murder because Janey’s body was never found) is never paroled, and Foyle is the foundation of the season one story arc.

Despite critical acclaim, very good ratings, (on a Friday night, no less!) and being sold to 120 countries, a third season has yet to be commissioned. Fans worldwide are petitioning (and begging) Australia’s ABC for another season (during which Phryne and Jack might finally become a couple!), but currently to no avail.

update: as of June 2014, a third season has been commissioned, and will start filiming in October, for a 2015 broadcast! YAY!

Phryne is a character who fascinates by her boundless contradictions. Her poverty-stricken past and her luxurious present; she’s promiscuous as a cat but never sleeps with married men; a socialite in the highest circles who is also a gifted detective, dancing through ballrooms and stalking down dark and muddy alleys with equal aplomb in pursuit of the truth. She would storm Hell (and kick down the gates) for a friend, but stays as far away from most of her blood family as possible. A kamikaze driver and icy-cool pilot, who shimmies on the dance floor with reckless abandon. The epitome of light-hearted gaiety, bearing the weight of an aching sorrow that never fully leaves her.

The Honorable Miss Phryne Fisher: enchantress, adventurer, aristocrat - and avenger of all those denied justice, regardless of station.

Lady Justice dances the Charleston: a musical portrait of the Honorable Miss Phryne Fisher

Witchy Woman – The Eagles
(Phryne the enchantress; she owns a room simply by entering it)

Raven hair, and ruby lips
Sparks fly from her fingertips
Echoed voices in the night
She’s a restless spirit on an endless flight

(Woo-hoo) Witchy woman,
See how high she flies
(Woo-hoo) Witchy woman
She got the moon in her eyes

Cosmic Dare (Pretty with a Pistol) – Yoko Kanno and the Seatbelts
(Phryne the seductress; constantly taking new men to her bed, then leaving them behind playfully and effortlessly. With one rat-bastard exception, all of Phryne’s lovers in the show remember her with fond smiles and no regrets – as she does them. No one is deceived with false expectations or promises never intended to be kept; Phryne’s heart is never deeply touched, but no heart is every broken by her either.)

Still sitting pretty with a pistol in hand
Living to love you, will you be my man?
If I beg, if I plead
Would you please, please, please satisfy me?

Anything goes in this cosmic dare
Anything goes so take care
Did you feel my heartbeat to your sighs
Mon amour sweet love of mine?

‘Cuz I can – p!nk
(Phryne the scandalous! She does what she wants, when she wants, with who she wants. She gets away with it because she’s rich, titled, beautiful and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks of her. Socially adept to the point of weaponisation, she can cut down an enemy equally well with a double-edged phrase, or with her pearl-handled pistol.)

You know I'm rare, you stop and stare
You think I care - I don't!
You talk real loud
But you ain't saying nothing cool
I could fit your whole house in my swimming pool

My life's a fantasy
That you're not smart enough to even dream
My ice is making me freeze
You can try and try you can't beat me

So I'll cash my cheques and place my bets
And hope I'll always win
Even if I don't I'm ***ked because
I live a life of sin
But it's alright, I don't give a damn
I don't play your rules I make my own
Tonight I'll do what I want
Cuz I can

Dancing through life – ‘Wicked!’ soundtrack
(Phryne the carefree; having survived her childhood and the war, there isn’t much that can scare, worry or even bother her all that much. As this exchange from episode 1x03 The Green Mill Murder illustrates:
“I don't think you're taking this seriously, Miss Fisher.”
“I haven’t taken anything seriously since 1918.” )

Dancing through life
No need to tough it
When you can sluff it off as I do
Nothing matters
But knowing nothing matters
It's just life, so keep dancing through

Dancing through life
Swaying and sweeping
And always keeping cool

Don’t know how to stop – Halestorm
(Phryne the adrenaline junkie – and the darker side of her nonchalance. Phryne believes that there is no danger greater than those she has already survived unharmed, and no threat more frightening than those she has already defeated. Reckless in her pursuit of justice as she is in her driving, her offhand disregard for her own safety occasionally terrifies those who love her.)

Head lights, red lights, got it in my sights
Nothing’s in my way
No sound, hush now, push the pedal down,
Got no time to waste
It's a long way home,
You just crossed a borderline
When I say go,
You know you better hold on tight!

I don't know how to stop, I give it all I've got
It's like my brakes are shot
I gotta have too much, I don't know how to stop
Gets crazy but so what?

Weight of the World - Evanescence
(Phryne the sorrowful. Phryne is still grieving and haunted by her beloved little sister’s murder – who was stolen while on a forbidden adventure with Phryne. As a young adult, Phryne went to war, ‘the war to end all wars’; despite never seeing active combat, she was equally as traumatised by all the brave young men who died as she watched, so greviously wounded that she could do nothing to help but hold their hands as they slipped away.
The line ‘freefall, freefall, all through life’ harkens back to Phryne’s more extreme hobbies – if BASE jumping had been around in the 1920’s, she would have done that too!)

Feels like the weight of the world,
Like God in heaven gave me a turn.
Don't cling to me, I swear I can't fix you.
Still in the dark, can you fix me?

Feels like the weight of the world,
Like all my screaming has gone unheard.
And oh, I know you don't believe in me.
Safe in the dark, how can you see?

Freefall, freefall, all through life.

If you love me, then let go of me.
I won't be held down by who I used to be

Abraham’s Daughter – Arcade Fire
(From the first time I heard this, it evoked memories of the climax of King Memses’ Revenge, the final episode of season 1. It’s a major turning point in Phryne’s life; she has not only defeated Murdoch Foyle once and for all, after he kidnapped her adopted daughter and tried to kill Phryne... she finally finds the grave that holds her beloved little sister Janey.)

Just as an angel cried for the slaughter,
Abraham's daughter raised her voice.

Then the angel asked her what her name was,
She said, "I have none."
Then he asked, "How can this be?"
"My father never gave me one."

This may be considered cheating, but for me, it’s nearly impossible to build a true portrait of TV-verse Phryne without also considering Detective Inspector Jack Robinson. I honestly think he has the most wide-ranging point of view of Phryne, and his relationship with her is the most layered and intricate in the show.

In the beginning, Jack sees Phryne as an annoyance who won’t stay away from his crime scenes and interferes in his investigations, who nonetheless amuses and charms him against his will; she quickly becomes his unofficial partner (by season 2, the police officers of City South station don’t even blink when Phryne shows up on a crime scene and starts discussing the case with Jack). When they first meet, Jack is a married man; he came back from the War a very different man, which lead to a formal separation from his wife. Even close to a decade later, his profound code of honor demands that he hold true to his vows. Phryne banters and flirts outrageously with him, but always stops short of actually making advances. No matter how interesting and attractive, or combustive their chemistry, Jack is out of bounds to Phyrne as a lover, and that line is clear to both of them.

Because of this, Jack becomes something unique and rare in Phryne’s life – both a true friend in her personal life and an equal partner in her professional one. At the end of season 1, Jack is granted a divorce (at his wife’s request) and saves Phryne’s life during her final confrontation with Murdoch Foyle. He stands beside her as Janey’s grave is dug up, and at the most emotional point of the scene – Phryne reaches out and clutches his hand as her anchor.

Their friendship – and their flirtation - deepens slowly but surely during the first half of season 2, until the episode Blood on the Wheel forces Jack to confront both his true feelings for Phryne and the potential consequences of her always-reckless behaviour - and her rejection of conventional bonds and relationships. This leads directly to a heartrending scene where Jack breaks up their partnership, a deliberate choice by Jack in a desperate attempt to protect what is left of “a heart as deep as the Pacific Ocean” (as Phryne so eloquently puts it). They soon repair their friendship and partnership, but there has been an irrevocable change. Jack now realises that he’s deeply in love with Phryne, though he believes it unlikely that she will ever feel the same way about him; however, living without her is far more painful. Phryne has also come to a deeper understanding of how much she values Jack’s presence in her life, and the normal parade of men through her boudoir has slowed to a trickle – but whether the two find a compromise and become lovers is still in the hands of the ABC executives. (sigh)

Ms Vanity - Rob Mills
Never waits in line
Never has the time
But she makes you lose your mind
Yeah, that's just the way she is
That's just the way she is

You'll never be what she needs
She'll always leave
With your sanity
She'll never do what you want her to
You know it's true
Ms. Vanity

Always a Woman – Billy Joel
She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
[...]
Oh, she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh, and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

Cleopatra – Kelly Clarkson (demo version)
(quick explanation, here; Jack is a well-established Shakespeare fan, and his play ‘Antony and Cleopatra’ is something of a running theme for Jack and Phryne. In episode 1x06, Ruddigore, Jack recites a speech from the play to Phryne, which comes across as at least half a declaration of love. In Murder in the Dark (episode 1x12) Phryne and Jack attend a formal fancy-dress party at her Aunt Prudence’s estate; Phryne dresses as Cleopatra, and has brought a Marc Antony costume for Jack – to further frustration of the Jack fangirls, she doesn’t get more than his bow tie undone. Interestingly, season 2 features a running theme of scarves and ties during significant Jack/Phryne moments!)

You’re probably Cleopatra
Dancing just for your pleasure
What ever you wish babe
(a whisper is all it takes)
[...]
My arms will keep you warm
No one will ever cause you harm
I’ll be your shelter through the storm
They won’t get near you baby
Protect and keep you steady
Rock you when things get heavy
Hold you forever ever
They can’t stop you my baby
When things start getting crazy
I catch your back, lean on me
I won’t break - never never
[…]
With everything I have left
I saved it all just for you
If they try and defeat us
Watch me do what I'm good at

FANMIX: the Big Bang job part 2: We live in the dark because we like it that way (Eliot/Parker)

nessataleweaver — Wed, 19 Feb 2014 04:37:04 GMT

So for my next trick... I will make a white rabbit disappear!

Well, no - I decided to do an Eliot/Parker fanmix, because I've always shipped them (no offense to Hardison - I like you too! Just think she's a better match with Eliot). I was a bit worried no one would pick it, but i did get someone and she has also written a great fic! (I've been really lucky that way so far, with reverse bangs.)

The title is a quote from one of the Nightside books by Simon R Green - actually, I think it might be a paraphrase, pretty sure I got it off an LJ icon originally. I picked it because, well, it sort of sums up one of the primary reasons I think Eliot and Parker would work as a couple; they're familiar with the darkest parts of themselves - they've lived in those parts of themselves, and come out the other side. They're willing to cross lines that Nate, Sophie and Hardison won't even consider.

zip file link (download includes front and back covers, tracklisting and all songs):
We like the dark @ mediafire

tracklisting under the covers.

Title: The Double Solo Job
Author: walking_tornado
Beta(s): nessataleweaver, dutch_chick674
Disclaimer Nothing from Leverage belongs to me. No money is being made. It's all made up. Don't sue.
Characters/Pairings: Parker/Eliot, Hardison, OCs
Rating: PG-13 (series-level)
Genre: Drama, Post-series
Warnings/spoilers: some violence, language, brief mentions of involuntary drug use, implied torture, OC death
Word Count: ~13k
Summary: Months after the three remaining Leverage team members part ways, Eliot's appearance complicates Parker's solo heist. (Post-series)
Link to fic: http://walking-tornado.livejournal.com/16398.html

We live in the dark because we like it that way (an Eliot/Parker mix)
(title from Simon R Green)

Theme from ‘The Pink Panther’ – Henry Mancini (Parker)
(Instrumental)

Rattlesnake Smile – Christian Kane (Eliot)
Well I used to have a soft Southern glowing face
And I used to leave my heartaches with the chase
When you get stung with a heart of a little child
Well that's how you get that rattle snake smile

Well you better keep your distance from this stinger and shape I'm in.
Now no one better touch me right now in this cold blooded thick skin
Aww I think you better run real fast when you hear that rattling sound
Well you better run real fast man or this one's gonna knock you down

White Rabbit – Emiliana Torrini (Parker pov, with bonus points for reference to her Alice White alias)
And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall,
Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call.

Call Alice
When she was just small

Theme from Harry’s Game – Clannad (Eliot between Damien Moreaux and Leverage; if you know the storyline of 'Harry's Game', I think it adds an extra note of despair to Eliot's headspace at the time. Part of me wishes we'd found out what exactly Eliot had to do for Moreaux that has clearly left him permanently damaged - but considering the stuff he's actually talked about, a bigger part of me is glad we never found out.)

(lyrics sung in Gaelic – English translation)
I will go east and go west
From whence came the moon and the sun

The moon and the sun will go
And the young man with his reputation behind him

I will go wherever he came from
The young man with his reputation behind him

The Hunter gets captured by the Game – Massive Attack fea Tracy Thorn (Parker)
Secretly I’ve been tailing you
Like a fox that preys on a rabbit
Had to get you and so I knew
I had to learn your ways and habits
(Oooh) You were the catch that I was after
I looked up and I was in your arms
And I knew that I was captured

What's this whole world coming to?
Things just ain't the same
Any time the hunter gets captured by the game

Assassin – John Mayer (Eliot)
I work in the dead of night.
When the roads are quiet
No one is around, to track my moves.
Rracing the yellow lights
To find the gate is open, she's waiting in the room.
I just step on through.

You get in, you get done and then you get gone
You never leave a trace, or show your face, you get gone
Should've turned around and left before the sun came up again
But the sun came up again

I was a killer, was the best they'd ever seen
I'd steal your heart before you ever heard a thing
I'm an assassin and I had a job to do
Little did I know that girl was an assassin too

The Darkest Star – Depeche Mode (Parker to Eliot)
Oh you dark one
Eternal outsider
Caught in the spider's web you've spun

Oh you blind one
Gentle and kind one
Seeing the world as a loaded gun

I don't want you to change anything you do
I don't want you to be someone else for me
Stay as you are... the Darkest Star

Dangerous – Depeche Mode (Eliot to Parker)
The things you do aren't good for my health
The moves you make you make for yourself
The means you use aren't meant to confuse
Although they do - they're the ones that I would choose

And I wouldn't want it any other way
You wouldn't let me anyway
...
The lies you tell aren't meant to deceive
They're not there for me to believe

Keep the car running – Goo Goo Dolls (Both)
We are, we are, we are the start of something new
Close your eyes and come with me and just hold onto
We are, we are, we are the only thing that's true
Just believe it's you and me and know that we can't lose

Tired of waiting around
Now what are we becoming?
Keep the car running

The only answer I know
Never taking it slow
Just it keep it coming
Keep the car running

You get me – Michelle Branch (Parker pov, then Eliot pov)
So I'm a little left of center
So I'm a little out of tune
Some say I'm paranormal
So I just bend their spoon
Who wants to be ordinary
In a crazy, mixed-up world?
I don't care what they're sayin'
As long as I'm your girl

So what if I see the sunshine
In the pouring rain
Some people think I'm crazy
But you say it's okay

You've seen my secret garden
Where all of my flowers grow
In my imagination
Anything goes

'Cause you get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
When none of the pieces fit
You make sense of it
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still I want you all the time
Yeah, I do
'Cause you get me

artwork: The big bang job part 1 - the unexpected guest

nessataleweaver — Wed, 19 Feb 2014 03:49:00 GMT

I love Leverage, but never seem to have any real fic ideas - but when the Big Bang Job came up, I realised that since it was a reverse bang, I could participate as an artist with a bit more creativity than usual. This first piece was based on the only real fic idea I've ever come up with - and the authour wrote it out in a different way (but it's really good!) so I might still write it out sometime.

The basic idea was '5 times the Leverage crew had a near-death experience (or, 5 times Death had a near-Leverage experience)'. Yes, I shamelessly ripped off Sir PTerry, and DEATH will be making an appearance if I ever write up the idea myself. Basically, all 5 of the crew would meet a different fandom's 'Death' - I could only fit in Death/Didi from the Sandman comics, and one of the opening credits grim reapers from Dead Like Me. As for the title - well, one of Agatha Christie's plays is called 'The Unexpected Guest' - the tagline being 'The Unexpected Guest - is DEATH!'

(story details beneath the pic)

Summary: Five times each member of the Leverage Team met Death and the one time they helped her/him… it? It’s kind of complicated.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Warnings: Major character death, minor character death, oc death, a lot of violence, tried to make it as kid friendly as possible despite the material
Rating: T for teen, [technically PG-13 but rather safe than sorry]
Pairings/Characters: Team, canon pairings, oc's, and a surprise!
Genre: Supernatural, fantasy, teamfic, casefic-ish, angst, drama, family
Word Count: 30,352 [Oh, good lord why?]
Spoilers: Pretty much the series. If you haven't seen Season One or Five be prepared for a shocker.

Dreamwidth link: http://zee-zeemagee.dreamwidth.org/29616.html
Livejournal link: http://zeezeemagee.livejournal.com/27845.html

SOUNDTRACK: Getting lost and finding you (for 'Come Near' by Topaz119); marvelbang

nessataleweaver — Wed, 23 Oct 2013 10:21:03 GMT

Honestly, I need to get back to actual writing - it feels like all I do these days are fanmixes! Not that those aren't fun, too, but I think I'm a little burnt out for awhile - despite how good the story I was assigned is, I couldn't get really enthused about the music or covers. I just hope I managed to put together something worthy of the story anyway.

So, this one is for marvelbang; the story is called 'Come Near' and it's by Topaz119. It's all Clint and Natasha, immediately after The Avengers, and about how they redefine their partnership in the wake of Clint's epic mind-frelling, and what her desperation to rescue him has revealed to Natasha.

It also includes a fairly epic road trip, along the famous Route 66. Never got around to mentioning this to Topaz, but I actually tried this myself recently, when a couple of friends and I went to the US to attend the 20th Otacon (which was AWESOME!!). I meant to actually use one of my photos of Route 66 for the back cover, but to be honest? The one I found via google was better.

Also? I don't know what it's like along the part from New York to the Midwest, but the part I travelled, in California/Arizona? ROYALLY SUCKED. It runs alongside the Interstate in that section, so there's no maintenance of the road at all. The first section we drove along, we only went about a mile before the friend who was driving apologetically had to get back on the Interstate, because the road was so lumpy that he was afraid we'd wreck the shocks on the rental car! The second section we attempted had more dips and rises than the Dow-Jones Index. I'm very prone to motion sickness, and I only just managed to get to my pills in time. As I said in the postcard I sent to Mum 'In my case, I nearly got my sicks on Route 66!'

I don't even have a Tshirt to show for it, either - there were a couple of stops which had lots of souvineers, but I decided to hold out for the Route 66 museum. Problem was, when we got to Bairstow (actually the second time, but the first time we were en route to Vegas and only there from late evening to early morning) we found out it was the ONE day of the week the museum was closed, wouldn't you know it? Oh, well. I came back with too many souvineer Tshirts anyway.

Anyway, enough bitching - my point is, the story is fantastic, and every BlackHawk shipper should read it at least once. (the authour was also kind enough to say some nice things about this mix!)

AO3: 'Come Near', by Topaz119

You can download the mix (zip file includes mp3's, both covers and tracklisting) at mediafire:
http://www.mediafire.com/?86wy5m3ypg6hkq2

WARNING: scene-specific listing is after the cut, including lyrics.

There's quite a few acoustic or near-acoustic tracks on this mix; the scenes that struck a chord with me, or were simply important enough to merit a song, tended to be dialogue-heavy or otherwise intense moments where I didn't want to overwhelm the story itself. I also really wanted to add in something from the ballet Coppelia (you'll understand why when you read the story), but I could not for the life of me find somewhere I could download any recording of the score. It's not that I object to paying for music tracks (I prefer it, actually. Better for my karma), but the problems with living in Australia - I can't buy anything audio off amazon (US or UK), and I don't belong to Australia iTunes *helpless shrug*.

Getting lost and finding you
A mix for ‘Come Near’ by Topaz119

Avalanche - Matthew Good Band
Let go (acoustic) - Boys Like Girls
Are you havin' any fun? - Tony Bennett (featuring Elvis Costello)
Maybe - Stereophonics
Route 66 - The Rolling Stones
Let's Get Lost - Amanda Marshall
Stripped - Shiny Toy Guns
Umaretate no Shiro - KOKIA
I feel you - Depeche Mode
One thing is for sure (acoustic) - The Spill Canvas

Avalanche – Matthew Good Band / Clint in opening scene
One foot in front of the other
One foot back to counter it
Days like these you've got to find it in some other way
It's all or nothing baby

Let go (acoustic) - Boys like Girls / Clint and Natasha walking in Central Park after Loki and Thor leave.
So let go, jump in,
Oh well, whatcha waiting for?
It's alright,
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown.
Let go, let go, just get in,
Oh, it's so amazing here.
It's alright,
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown.

Are you havin’ any fun? - Tony Bennett (featuring Elvis Costello) / the benefit
Are you havin' any fun?
What y'gettin' out o' livin'?
What good is what you've got
If you're not havin' any fun?

Are you havin' any laughs?
Are you gettin' any lovin'?
If other people do - so can you!
Have a little fun!

Maybe – Stereophonics /Clint and Natasha’s talk after the benefit
Maybe one thing, maybe something
Maybe nothing
All I know is friend - it's nothing new

Maybe it's me - what is to be?
Maybe lucky
All I ask is where we're s'posed to be

I give a lot, I take a lot
It's nothing new to me

Maybe you've grown, am I so wrong?
How long's too long?
All I want is us to be happy

Route 66 – The Rolling Stones / Clint and Natasha driving (part 1)
Well if you ever plan to motor west
Just take my way
That's the highway that's the best
Get your kicks on Route 66

Let’s get lost – Amanda Marshall / Clint and Natasha driving (part 2)
Livin' in the darkness, baby
Comin' all undone
Been a cruel December, now we're prayin' for the sun
By the time the storm rolls in, we could be long gone

Baby let's get lost
‘Til the days get long
Just you and I

Frost on the outside brings a chill within
Seems like we hide our hearts away when the days get dim
Let's shake it off, let's shake it up
We're not the kind who just give in
So let's begin

Stripped – Shiny Toy Guns / Clint and Natasha make love for the first time
Metropolis
Has nothing on this
You're breathing in fumes
I taste when we kiss

Take my hand
Come back to the land
Where everything's ours
For a few hours

Let me see you stripped down to the bone
Let me see you stripped down to the bone

Umaretate no Shiro - KOKIA / Clint and Natasha's visit with Mama Tu
(instrumental)

I Feel You – Depeche Mode / second love scene
I feel you
Your heart it sings
I feel you
The joy it brings
Where heaven waits
Those golden gates
And back again
You take me to
And lead me through oblivion

This is the morning of our love
It's just the dawning of our love

One thing is for sure (acoustic) – The Spill Canvas / ‘We saved the world’ and end theme
Sometimes when I let my mind run free
It never fails, it goes right to you,
And a smile takes a hold of me.
I miss the way your body burns
When we melt alone.

There are things in this world
That I don't understand.
Like: Love, war, gravity, or the lay of the land.
All of these remain mysteries
But one thing is for sure -
You are worth living for.

FANMIX: 'Stealing tomorrow' (Captain America: the first avenger/Doctor Who)

nessataleweaver — Tue, 27 Aug 2013 13:22:33 GMT

For the SF bigbang... I punked out again. *sheepish look* But at least I managed to sign up as an artist this time!

Still wish I knew how to 'cut out' a single image from a pic; (I have found instructions, but only for a program I don't have!) I would have liked to have done that with Steve and Peggy's pics on the front cover, rather than just colour out the background. Also think that maybe I should have done that in blue shades instead *thoughtful look*.

'A Single Yesterday' is a great fic by tigerdreams, which lets Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter have that date at the Stork Club, courtesy of the Eleventh Doctor.

Read the fic :
AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/945158
LJ: http://tigerdreams.livejournal.com/94052.html
DW: http://cassandraoftroy.dreamwidth.org/971.html

WARNING: The tracklisting beneath the covers (and the cut) gives details of specific scenes, so you might want to read the fic first.

I'll be seeing you - Billie Holliday
Courage is - The Strange Familiar
Fly me to the moon (Neon Genesis Evangelion Director's Cut) - Claire
Our remains - Bitter:Sweet
40 miles from the sun - Bush
Beyond the sun - shinedown
Home - Vanessa Carlton

Stealing Tomorrow
(a fanmix for ‘One Single Yesterday’, by tigerdreams)

I’ll be seeing you – Billie Holliday
(Peggy waiting at the Stork Club)
I'll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through.

Courage Is - The Strange Familiar
(Peggy’s decision to meet her destiny, come what may. Just... not yet.)
Take all my pieces of doubt
And let me be what's underneath
Courage is when you're afraid,
But you keep on moving anyway
Courage is when you're in pain,
But you keep on living anyway

Fly me to the moon – Claire (NGE Director’s version)
(Peggy and Steve, travelling the universe with the Doctor and making the most of their stolen tomorrow)
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what Spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars

Our Remains – Bitter:Sweet
(Peggy and Steve know the time they must part forever is coming soon.)
Please my dear
Walk away from the pain
Don't say a word
To take away the beauty of
Our remains

All day I will always wait for you
In every way I dream about a moment with you
Nothing to say, just trying to find my way to you
All in a day I realize I may not get over you

40 miles from the sun - Bush
(Peggy and Steve’s final farewell)
There is nowhere left to hide
There is nothing to be done
No people to be saved
No pets we've never named
40 miles from the sun

As darkness craves the mind
We come undone without our pride
No time on earth to come
All the pleasures just begun
40 miles from the sun

You’ll never know how much you shine
40 miles from the sun

Beyond the Sun - Shinedown
(Peggy’s thoughts of Steve after she takes the assassin’s bullet)
Bring what's yours, I'll take what's mine
And meet you on the other side
We'll leave a sign so anyone can find us
A better place, a sweeter time
We won't need any wings to fly
A place beyond the sun

Home – Vanessa Carlton
(Peggy and Steve get one more chance, and they’re not letting go)
For me it's a glance and the smile on your face
The touch of your hands, and an honest embrace.

For where I lay it's you I keep,
This changing world I fall asleep,
With you all I know is I'm coming home,
Coming home

HETBIGBAG 2013: ARTWORK for 'My Girl Sarah' by frea_o

nessataleweaver — Mon, 26 Aug 2013 12:55:11 GMT

What the subject line says, people! From what I could tell from the scenes I was sent, 'MGS' is a noir-version of Chuck, set in 1949. It sounds really interesting, so I'm looking forward to reading the whole thing.

Again, two pieces. I didn't do much at all with the second, and that seemed a little like cheating, so I did the first one as well. But I like them both!

I didn't do anything much with the second piece, just added the text; but I really love the pic, so I wanted to use it somehow.

HEROINE BIGBANG: 'Here I dreamt I was a soldier', by sugar_fey (two artworks)

nessataleweaver — Mon, 22 Jul 2013 16:21:23 GMT

First up, we have one of my rare (but increasing in number) straight artworks. I was thrilled to get one of my favourite authors, sugar_fey. Again, I got a little carried away - I did two pieces instead of just one. Mostly because the main plot was about Carole and Jessica, (at least in the draft I worked from) but I'm such a diehard BlackHawk fan I couldn't resist doing one for them two.

Loved working with the WW2 setting, especially the code-breaking work at Bletchely Park; the movie 'Enigma' is one of my favourites, and I'm in the middle of the mini-series The Bletchley Circle. (Thank God I wasn't born back then, I would have gone bonkers from the constant sexism and pressure to marry and breed.) I knew from the start I wanted to work in photos of the complex itself, and play with a mix of black and white and colour pics.

I racked my brains for imaginary casting (see my fanmix), but the author got back to me with her ideas, which I think worked out much better for this piece. (the hairstyles, for a start) If Jessica (Emilia Clarke) looks familiar but you can't place her, try imagining her as pale blonde and hanging out with dragons. Katee Sackhoff, on the other hand, should be easily recognised by anyone who's been hanging out in the sci-fi TV community the last few years.

The central image of this is one of the very few photos actually taken inside Bletchley Park during the war. It was surprisingly easy to find pics of these two actresses in period-appropriate hairstyles and dresses; I just needed to crop, and in Katee's case, colour over the background.

Had a blast de-colouring/colouring various pics for the two; not sure where Clint's 'photo' came from, but I just needed to angle it and 'draw' a black line around two sides (it might be a little off-centre, sorry). Natasha's pic is from The Black Dahlia (which is why she's blonde in the photo).
The photo is a current one of Bletchely Park.

HEROINE BIGBANG: FANMIX: We don't bother with bubblegum

nessataleweaver — Mon, 22 Jul 2013 16:04:18 GMT

First of my two works for Heroine bigbang. I think I was on a roll after finishing my other works so quickly (relatively speaking), either that or I just got carried away with the pic-manips; I meant to do artwork for a cover and a tracklisting, instead I did a front cover and artwork/lyric sets for each 'pair' of the main characters, as well as the team!

This fanmix is for the story 'Who Run the World', by coffeesuperhero & shadoweangel (at least, I hope that's the names they're using for this, because that's all I got).

My fanmix title comes from the movie 'They Live' (see below).

As for casting - the two roles I 'cast' myself are Ksenia Solo (from the tv show 'Lost Girl') as Kate Bishop, aka Hawkeye junior, (I saw the shot of her in the purple pants, and thought 'Score!') and Victoria Pratt (among other things, I know her from the 90's/00's shows Cleopatra 2025 and Mutant X, though judging by her pictures results on Google, she's mostly known for modelling or bodybuilding stuff now) as Carole Danvers, aka Ms Marvel.

ZIP file includes all eight songs, all five covers, (front, Natasha & Maria, Carole & Sif, Kate & Pepper and the team) and a full tracklisting.

‘We don’t bother with bubblegum’
A FANMIX FOR: ‘Who run the world’ by coffeesuperhero & shadoweangel

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum."
- They Live (1988)

The Professionals – Agent Natasha Romanov and Acting Director Maria Hill

Secret Agent – Melissa Etheridge
You can't resist it
To be twisted in her suicidal thighs
Confessional lips,
Professional fingertips
It's a deception to perfection
Her exceptional hips

Her disguise is specialized and her code is confidential
It's her modus operandi, she's a threat
Makes you sweat as she drags her cigarette
Man, what you see ain't always what you get

She'll make a grown man cry, she'll make a woman try
She'll make you wanna believe, and she will leave you high and dry
You got nowhere to run, got her phasers on stun
With her toys like the boys, she is second to none

All the boys wanna know if she's got something to hide
All the girls are relieved she's working for the other side
She's a sinner, a saint
She'll run it cool and hot
She's a secret agent... you can believe it or not

Army of Me – bjork
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me
And if you complain once more
You'll meet an army of me

You're alright
There's nothing wrong
Self-sufficience please
And get to work

The Warriors – Carole Danvers and Lady Sif of Asgard

Kiss with a fist – Florence + the machine
My black eye casts no shadow
Your red eye sees no pain
Your slaps don't stick
Your kicks don't hit
So we remain the same
Blood sticks and
Sweat drips
Break the lock if it don't fit
A kick in the teeth is good for some
A kiss with a fist is better than none

U and UR hand – Pink (aka Carole and Sif in the bar; keep thinking that they had half the guys in the place panting but too scared to approach them. Rightfully so!)
I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life

The Rookie and the CEO – Kate Bishop and Pepper Potts

Rock you like a Hurricane – The Veronicas
The bitch is hungry, she needs to tell
So give her inches and feed her well
More days to come, new places to go
I've got to leave
It's time for a show

Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane

Sophisticated lady – Natalie Cole (Just a warning, here: this is not the jazz standard, but an entirely different funk number. I love the jazz song myself, but this was the one with the lyrics that fit Ms Potts)
Sophisticated lady, sophisticated lady
She's a different lady with a different style
She stands tall and steady like the Eiffel Tower
She is hip to politics but loves her jazz
She's got lots of rhythm, she's got lots of class
Everybody knows how she got her name, yeah

She wears knee length dresses with her high heel steppers
She's not no back stabber but she's sure a pleaser
She talks quiet and gentle, she acts very cool
She sticks close to her lover, she obey God's rules
[..]
Everybody knows how she got her name

The Team

Pat Benatar – Invincible
We can't afford to be innocent
Stand up and face the enemy
It's a do or die situation
We will be invincible
And with the power of conviction
There is no sacrifice
It's a do or die situation
We will be invincible

Cyndi Lauper – Wild women don’t get the blues
I got a sweet disposition, gonna wear my very own
I ain't never gonna spend not one lonely night at home all alone
I can go out, drink all the courvoisier I can find
Walk the streets all night alone

And I can tell any man to go to Hell if that man don't know how to act right
Wild women, we don't never worry, wild women never, never get the blues

dareversebang artwork 2, fanmix: 'What the Wild and the Dark and the Different Know'

nessataleweaver — Tue, 25 Jun 2013 12:56:44 GMT

Well, it turns out both my pieces for dareversebang got taken, I just didn't realise that it was being done in two blocks! Ooops. Anyway, I seem to have lucked out on authours in this thing; 'The Bed We Lie In', is a great little story.

story here: "the Bed We Lie In' by dollarformyname

zip file (songs, covers, and tracklisting): download at mediafire

What the Wild and the Dark and the Different Know

MAX

Himerus and Eros – The Spill Canvas
You're captivating while evading
All the questions I have for you like,
"What exactly makes you tick?"
[…]

You know I
I hate you
No, I hate you more
You know I
I love you
No, I love you more

Yes, it's true
You've brainwashed me and now I'm more confused
Especially when it comes to you

Ballerina - Leona Naess
I didn't really want you
But I want you now
It was so foolish of me
To feel you tumbling down
Into that empty room the lights went out
I want to rescue, want to scream out loud
That you will always be mine

Kiss me 'til it bleeds - Nina Gordon
I'm stupid, a sucker, he's a loaded gun
A lover, a leaver, just a hit and run
When our worlds collide
Breathe deep and hold on tight
Cause he's so rock and roll,
I'm a tortured soul with him in my bones
If bitter is sweet then he's just what I need
So kiss me ‘til it bleeds!

ALEC

No Time for Love – The Casanovas
Well you asked if you were ever gonna see me again
I said yeah, and wrote my number down
But don't get excited - I've given it to all the girls

Well leave it up, shake it all over the place
I don't need no one the time to tell
And besides that, I really just don't care

Just because I called you up don't mean you mean that much to me
These goosebumps baby are only cause it's 10 degrees, ooh!

Cause I got no time
I ain’t got no time for love
Got no time
I ain’t got no time for love

I find it hard to feel
I'm all messed up
This ain’t right, cause I got no time for love

Well I don't understand why this is feeling so damn strange
My heart's made of stone, and baby it'll never change
Just cause I drew a little heart right next to your name

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - Brand New
You are the smell before rain.
You are the blood in my veins.
Call me a safe bet.
I'm betting I'm not.

I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

Don't Need Love - Johnny Diesel and the Injectors
Give me a reason why I'm feeling this way
Tryin' all the time to keep the blues at bay
When I sleep at night, you're all I see
You're in my head like cable TV
It's no use
When it's self abuse

Livin' on daydreams
It's not like the real thing
But it's all that I got
And a liar I'm not
But I'm lyin'
When I'm tellin' the truth

I don't need love, to get me through
I don't need love, all shiny and new
I don't need love, I tell myself that it's true
I may not need love
But I sure need you

BOTH (the last two are more about the Transgenic situation than anything else)

Lay Down your Guns – Jimmy Barnes
You picked me up when I was down with nothing
And gave me something I can't face the world without
You showed me just enough to fuel my fire, my desire
Never wanna live without it

Both of us need something like we had before
We can't keep fighting like this anymore
[...]
Cause in the end we make the bed we lie in
Let’s start trying
What's the point of talking ‘bout it

Never seems to make it better
If we can't get on together
Take a chance and try
A brand new start

In the Shadows – The Rasmus
They say
That I must learn to kill before I can feel safe
But I
I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave
Sometimes
I feel that I should go and play with the thunder
Somehow
I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder

I've been watching
I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching
I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

The Different – Melissa Etheridge
Come dance with me now
We'll dance without a care
I'm as free as a fire
And change is in the air
There are some things in my life
I'll never understand
But they become the force
That makes me who I am

You've never been to the moon
But don't you want to go
Under the sea in the volcano
You've never looked into my eyes
But don't you want to know
What the dark and the wild
And the different know

artwork: the big bang job; for 'Holidays in Eden'

nessataleweaver — Sat, 15 Jun 2013 12:43:51 GMT

Well, here's another one I signed up for! (yeah, I'm wondering how I get myself into these situations as well). I love Leverage, and I signed up for The Big Bang Job (clever title, I think) almost as soon as I found it. Problem is, I don't have any fic inklings towards Leverage, never have (except for that one 5 things about the crew and Death, that I think I really will get around to writing... once I'm done with the three or four bigbang fics that are due fairly soon), so I thought signing up as an artist was the way to go. Which was correct!

'Holidays in Eden' has gone through some major revisions since I read the initial draft (like it was originally split between the past with Eliot and Nate, and a current-day storyline with all the crew), but luckily my work was centred on the storyline that remained. I tried to do artwork, I really did, but I just couldn't work the pics of Eliot and Nate with the shots of Columbia... so I wound up with an EP of sorts (sort of 'songs inspired by', instead of an actual soundtrack) and a cover for that.

story can be found here: masterpost at author's LJ

ZIP file (cover and all songs): download at mediafire

Eliot Spencers's 'I f***ing Hate Colombia' playlist
(For 'Holidays in Eden' by Alli Johnson)

Welcome to the Jungle - Gns 'n' Roses
Welcome to the jungle
We've got fun 'n' games
We got everything you want
Honey, we know the names
We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need
If you got the money, honey
We got your disease

In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees
I wanna watch you bleed

Run for your Lives – Saxon
Danger, danger, there's something in the air
Faster, faster, be careful, you better beware
I had a dream last night, that I saw you burn
There's someone screaming out, screaming out the words

Run for your lives, they set the place on fire
Run for your lives, the flames are getting higher

Con Toda Palabra – Lhasa De Sela
Con toda palabra
Con toda sonrisa
Con toda mirada
Con toda caricia
Me acerco al fuego
Que todo lo quema

(translation)
With every word
With every smile
With every look
With every touch
I come closer to the fire
let it burn all

Where the River Goes – Stone Temple Pilots
Yeah, I could hide in the calm of the eye of the storm
And never blow away
Well, I'm a young man with a knife to my back
Some things never seem to change

Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide
Sing the song or keep it inside

The Kronos Wartet – Michael Giacchino
(instrumental - and yes, that's the right title. But it seemed very 'chase scene')

bonus - The Indiana Jones Theme - John Williams

artwork for casestory 2: Sobek, Drowning by faithburke (fanmix)

nessataleweaver — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:32:57 GMT

so, artwork #2! I picked this one mostly because I did a Grimm crossover for my artwork last round of casestory, and I had a blast! I thought doing another Grimm crossover might be lucky - and it worked. I really enjoyed this story, and while I've never watched much of CM and am way behind on Grimm, it seemed to stay true to both fandoms in both characterization and plot (and it's a good plot, too).

'Sobek, Drowning': from author's LJ

I had the idea of 'water' as a theme for the songs early on; I must admit, I didn't think I'd end up finding so many variations on the theme in my personal music library! It's probably one of the reasons so many of these tracks are instrumental. Pretty much the only song that isn't about water somehow is the very first song that sprang to mind, on my very first read-through, and I still think it fits the scene in question too perfectly to change (you'll know it when you read it, trust me).

I'm quite happy with the cover, this time; the only thing I would have liked to have changed was the Grimm cast shot... but it was literally the ONLY one I could find! I also wanted to use the pic I found of some statuettes meant to be of Sobek, but I couldn't work out how to outline and extract them from the black background. I really will work out how to use photoshop soon, promise!

Oh, and if the title sounds familiar but you can't quite work out where, it's from the poem 'How doth the little crocodile', from Alice in Wonderland.

ZIP file: download at mediafire

(tracklisting below cover, beware spoilers!)

So many of these are instrumentals, I didn't really pick them for any lyrics; all of them are chosen more for the sound and mood of the song, to go with the scene.

“...With Gently Smiling Jaws”

A fanmix for 'Sobek Drowning' by faithburke

What the water gave me – Florence + the machine (opening theme)
Watching the detectives - Elvis Costello (Nick analyzing the BPU team)
Water night – Eric Whitacre (profiling the unsub)
Flow like water – James Newton Howard (Nick & Wesen theme – various parts of the piece play when he talks to the un-named Wesen at the gym, and Adeline, both after her attack and at the station)
Oil and water – incubus (playing at the coffee shop)
Still waters run deep – The 69 eyes (Chase and capture of the killer)
Raining blood – Tori Amos (finding the underwater cave and the previous kills)
Water shows the hidden heart – Enya (Hotch confronts Captain Renard; continues through Renard’s talk with Nick)
Watershed – Vienna Teng (Juliette and Nick, continuing to become the ending theme)

bonus: Crocodile rock - Elton John (because yes, this is what my sense of humour is like)

artwork for casestory 1: Case of the Murderous Firebug

nessataleweaver — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 14:36:10 GMT

I had such a great time the last round of casestory I signed up again... and the story wasn't working. Natasha and Clint were being stubborn and pissy and wanted me to write Sword and Shield instead. But I did sign up as an artist, too, and wound up with two stories!

First story was 'The Case of the Murderous Firebug', a Sherlock BBC/Elementary crossover by scandalbaby. (be warned, it's part of a series, so you might want to skim a few of the earliest fics in the series over at AO3)

storylink at casestory (includes link to story and the series masterlist: http://casestory.livejournal.com/51781.html

The story wasn't really long enough for me to do my usual fanmix, so I just went with pure artwork, which was an interesting change. I went through three different 'covers', but I'm only satisfied enough with two to actually admit to them.

This is the one I'm happiest with, which was actually my third attempt.

This is my first attempt; there's something 'off' about the perspective of the photo of BBC!Sherlock and Watson, to my eyes anyway, but altering it would then throw off the equal space it shares with the Elmtry!Sherlock and Watson. ('equal space' and 'equal proportion' is something I'm very fussy about in my self-made artwork, I've discovered) On reflection, I'm not sure the body outline really works, but what the heck. I thought it was a fun touch at the time. I do like how I managed to get screenshots from both sets of opening credits, of BBC's London and Elementary's NYC. I might have left it at that, but I really wanted cast shots as well. (I actually like these shots better for content, but the ones in the artwork above have a much more evenly matched perspective)

art for da_reversebang: Max Coulson, Agent of SHIELD

nessataleweaver — Sun, 05 May 2013 03:05:38 GMT

Hello! Recently I participated in the Dark Angel reversebang (yeah, talk about old fandoms! Not to mention, one so old that a lot of the fan material was lost when geocities went under, because by that time most of the people participating had moved on.)

Anyway, I wound up submitting two pieces of art; the fanmix person dropped out, I think, but I'll get around to putting up it up at some point. My other piece was taken up - a banner. I hadn't tried any straight artwork before, and I was surprised at how hard and how easy it was, simultaneously.

The concept was that on the night Max and her Unit broke out in 2009, instead of Max being picked up by Hannah the nurse (from the episode 'Heat') she was instead found by Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD, and adopted as his daughter. Subsequently Coulson and Nick Fury found out about Manticore, and Took Steps.

The resulting story by peaceful_sands can be found here: Max Coulson, Agent of SHIELD, by peaceful_sands

I'd had a semi-formed idea for a resulting story (which I'm sure I'll never actually write, to be honest) of my own for the concept. But the author took the idea and ran with it, in ways I'd never really thought of (ie Clint being with Coulson, and him being the one to spot Max as she ran from the Manticore guards - my first reaction being 'that's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?', not to mention how she worked in the events of a certain S2 ep to provide the climax of the plot) It really was an interesting experience, and all praise to peaceful_sands for taking my fuzzy concept and turning out a well-written story from it.

The hardest parts of making the banner were a) finding a screenshot of young Max (I spent about two hours scouring the internet for a really good pic; still didn't find the one I really wanted, of young Max framed in a part-open car door - as I said above, a lot of the Dark Angel fandom was wiped out with geocities) and in getting the SHIELD logo onto Max's jacket. I took a shot of Natasha from Avengers, when she was standing at a similar angle to the shot I'd selected of Max, then cropped the pic to just the SHIELD logo. I used paintbox to scribble some black around the edges, so it was (mostly) even, then pasted it onto the sleeve of pic-Max and saved it as a new file. I'm sure there are any amount of artists out there who could have done something much better, but this is probably the most complicated thing I've tried yet, and I'm quite proud of myself, and how well the finished banner turned out.