Thank you for your compassion Nate. I would not have got through this day without you.

Validation is so important. Coming from a high-control religion where toxic forgiveness existed and you were never allowed to call yourself a victim, compartmentalizing and explaining away happens long before the recognition of pain. Validation is the best gift anyone can give a survivor💛

The dull ache of seeking to be seen, heard & offered safety by our fathers I feel deeply in this post. About Lucy.

How it is that we spend our lifetimes bloodhounding our fathers, when it should be the other way round?

Nate. I’m speechless. Thank you. Sending love and peace your way. And taking a little for myself. 🫶🏼

Oh, Nate. Sending so much love and compassion…from my inner child to yours and to Lucy’s, especially on this very complex day. ❤️‍🩹 And regarding a ghost writer, you writing your experience was incredibly brave and vulnerable. It was written to give voice to the horror you endured and to help yourself and others to heal. It should be raw and real. There is no re-write, no polish needed. You are an excellent writer…So glad you are on Substack where you can share freely and as you wish.🩷

My heart wants to be so so kind to both little Lucy and Little Nate. To be kind and present with a child. No be gentle and validating with a child. So So Needed! Thank you both for sharing today.

I thought today was gonna be just another day but grief came knocking on my heart. Such a complicated fucking day.

Thank you for this. It inspired me to write today.

PLEASE never, EVER use a ghost writer! Clearly that person does not know what they’re talking about!

The reason that YOU amassed such a large social media following so quickly is because you are a beautiful writer that dissects complex trauma and all the ramifications of it so clearly that, for the first time, many of us are able to understand HOW the trauma has affected us and WHY we behave the way we do. Most importantly, YOU model how to do that with grace and self-compassion.

I have never before had compassion for myself or held space for myself - only berated myself. YOU made me see that the shame and the blame I was carrying around for 57 years was NOT mine to carry. YOU are one of us, a survivor that understands, someone that’s done and continues to do the work, and has found a way to share what you’ve learned with others that are hurting.

I have seen more therapists over the years than I can count. I have practiced most modalities. I have tried a multitude of anti depressants and anxiety meds. I’ve read every book. I had several ketamine infusions. I went to a “trauma camp” for a week. Until I found YOU, I was wasting money and valuable time. YOU and the online group YOU created has been the most beneficial and helpful piece to my healing, by far. Please don’t ever let anyone else write for YOU 🫶

Lucy’s story resonated with me so much that I had my own 💡 moment and plan to write an essay about my own father - something I’ve never done before. It’s long overdue and I know it will be cathartic. Please tell Lucy thank you; for sharing her story and for being such a loving friend to you.