The inner workings of Nani

Getting it over with

2006-10-22T03:50:40Z

It's been several months since anyone has read as much as a peep from me.

Why? Well, it's simple. I was already petering off on reading and writing on lj, my life was getting more hectic and I needed to concentrate on it.

Now, whenever I'm on an emotional rollercoaster, I cut things out of my life completely and pick up new ones. All-or-nothing kind of gal. So, lj was just one of my victims. Sorry to the people I was/am friends with, depending on their current view.

Will I come back? Maybe and if I do it won't be for a while. Feel free to unfriend me and I'll return the favor so as not to clutter your friend of list.

Will I delete this journal? No. There's some good memories, funny stories and bad moments I'd like to keep a record around.

Will I be reading other lj's? Not likely. Nothing personal.

Have a nice life to whoever reads this.

Lj comment about labels

2005-12-23T22:05:24Z

Commented on a friend's lj and wanted to post it in my own.

Identity reminds me of water. It can so fluid sometimes and rock-solid other times.

I remember a conversation on a latino community where people were talking about stupid questions they get asked and how'd they respond. Things like: "Are you a mexican?" "No." Then, what are you?" "A person, idiot."

While I can understand why someone would like to know details about a person, there is a certain tone and manner of asking that shows more of a desire to label than to learn. It's hard to express via written word. But if you have ever experienced it, you would recognize it. Like if someone asks: Are you gay? Are you christian? Are you a democrat? Are you a republican? All those questions are meant to label and then treat that person diferently than if they were something else.

Same with gender. Are you a girl? Is it okay for me to hold open doors for you? Hug you freely? Ask you for advice about sensitive issues? Are you a guy? Can I say dirty jokes to you? Can I rough-house with you? Brag about sexual conquests? Have you open this jar?

There's a sense of security with knowing what you can and cannot say, do or express in front of someone. Dictated by society and how you were raised.

But labels lead to discrimination, segregation and mass-misrepresentation. They limit, enclose and control. Try to break free from a label, and you'll be labeled a rebel, an outcast. The problem with them is that other people give them. You can call yourself whatever you want, but they'll call you whatever they want and they outnumber you.

So in the end, what can you do? There's options, always has been, always will be. Accept it, learn to live with it. Deny it, reinvent oneself. Ignore it, continue to exist despite of it and don't change.

That's my 2 dollars.

Oh, also some terms I've read recently that make plenty of sense.

Homosocial = likes socializing with same gender.
Heterosocial = likes socializing with opposite gender.
Bisocial = likes socializing with both gender.
Asocial = likes socializing with neither gender.

I'm heterosexual, but mostly homosocial.

Yes, after my long-ass comment about labels, I write this. You see, I choose option number one.

pokes head up

2005-12-19T14:43:10Z

Umm...hi.

I'm back with nothing much to say. Got great grades, spent time with friends, watched interesting movies. I see that LJ has gotten a bunch of goodies these last months. *pokes around*

New in my life?...I changed majors from Pre-med to biology and I'm getting a 2nd BS in Industrial Microbiology, which will only take me a year more.

I'm not sure how to fall back into the lj dynamic. I'll probably scan over friends' ljs. Get a feel for what's going on in their lives. Comment if the moment calls for it.

Hopefully, I'll learn how to express myself in a more...how do you say?...non-sucky manner. See ya.

PS. Finally have a personal laptop. Yay me!

Hey, I'm still alive

2005-10-14T23:46:11Z

As the subject line says, that's basically it. Because of 5 classes and 3 labs I've had a test every so often and three lab reports to hand in every week.

So I've been busy and haven't been on lj for a loooooong time.

Take care of yourselves.

About hurricanes

2005-09-01T22:59:42Z

I live in PR, we know hurricanes. We construct buildings out of cement; it's more durable, handles humidity pretty well, cools easier and won't blow away and become projectiles like wood or brick. We have public places to park our cars and keep them safe from flood and debris. We stock up on food and water when the season starts. We know which areas are hazardous during and after the storm. We know where and how to get help, food, water if things get too bad. There are always some daredevils that get themselves in danger, wounded or killed, but they're a very small minority.

But we've never faced a class 5 hurricane head-on like New Orleans did. Weaker hurricanes have paralized us in the past. Not to the extent or savageness that New Orleans faces, yet still bad. Looking back in comparison, they seem like mere nuisances that had to be tolerated for a couple of weeks.

This year we haven't faced a single hurricane. They keep veering north or south of us, and we mostly get a bit of rain and not much else. I'm worried that the hurricane season still have a couple of months left and we're already at the letter K. In 1989, Hugo came by in the middle of September. In 1996, it was Hortense around the same time. In 1998, it was Georges near the end of September.

My point is that there are some things that you can't prepare for, that can't be foreseen, if we had been in New Orleans place, we wouldn't have fared much better.

coughsneeze...ouch.

2005-08-31T01:40:43Z

I live. I'm sick as well, but no matter.

My classes/labs are taking up a whole lot of my time during the week. I just took my first exam of the semester earlier this afternoon: Physics 2. I was able to do everything, but it's too early to celebrate since my prof can be a bit unpredictable when it comes to grading.

AGH! I can't stop sneezing, my throat is painfully sore and I have quite a headache. I'm going to cut this post short. I had interesting/funny/entertaining things to say, but I can't organize them in my head right now. Wow, that sounds like a really pathetic excuse. *shrugs*

If littlestclouds should see this entry, I'll finish the epic this weekend. I can't wait to read the rest of it, but I'd much rather do so with a clear head and not feeling rushed.

sigh of contentment

2005-08-02T09:40:52Z

Writing every little thing that has bugged you, every moment of angst, every drop of melodrama, every self-centered complaint, for nearly an hour and then deleting the entire thing rather than posting it on lj can be quite relieving.

Misconceptions.

2005-07-31T20:45:16Z

Sometimes I like to go into google, write something up about Puerto Rico and see what turns up.

And every single time I find weird and completely erroneous 'facts' about us.

Like this page:

http://www.seeamerica.org/visit_puertorico.jsp?type=facts

Abbreviation: PU Um, no. It's PR. You make it sound as though we stink.
Capital: San Juan
Admission to Statehood: July 25, 1952 We're a state? WTH? My history professors have lied to me!
Area Codes: 787, 939
Bird: Stripe-headed tanager Maybe, I'm wrong, but I could have sworn that it was la cotorra puertorriqueña.
Flower: Puerto Rican hibiscus
Largest City: San Juan
Motto: John is his name I haven't heard of this, till now. If anyone has, or has any idea what it means, please tell me.
Nickname: Isle of enchantment
Neighboring States:
Population: 436,334 When was this? A century or more ago? We're now 3.9 million on the Island alone.
Song: The Borinquen Anthem
Tree: Silk-cotton tree I'm not sure what the national tree is, but it's not that.

Even the CIA gets things wrong: http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/rq.html

Ethnic groups:
white (mostly Spanish origin) 80.5%, black 8%, Amerindian 0.4%, Asian 0.2%, mixed and other 10.9%

Our majority isn't white. It's mixed. Purebreeds are the rarity here. I'm sure the reason you got that percentage was because during the census when people were asked that question, they would look at the skin and say white. I describe myself as white(-ish) and my mother and siblings are a very dark brown color. My father was white(no -ish about it) and I inherited those genes from him. You can be blue-eyed and blonde and have a curly-haired dark-skinned baby.

Then I find articles like these: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/07/31/MNGLHDUHEB1.DTL and say: "Yeah, that's like us."

It's just an interesting little passtime.

EDIT: Added another link under the cut.

Some entertainment. Matrix Ping Pong. Yeah, you read that right.

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/matrixpong.wmv

Salsa meets Streetfighter.

2005-07-31T00:22:14Z

A korean Salsa competition. Watch and enjoy.

http://ncity.net/seokjooseongmi.wmv

Instaslash

2005-07-29T00:29:58Z

Go to this link: http://pokeslash.tvheaven.com/files/instantslash2.html and fill in the boxes with what they ask for and in less than 1 MINUTE!! you'll have a slash fic.

WARNING: SLASH is male on male. Gay ficcage. Homosexual story. You get the point.

Instant Slash Story!

The darkness was all around as Seifer walked through Forest down towards his floor, random thoughts of fellatio crossing his mind.

He had been shocked earlier when Mary Sue had told him she often dreamed about Headmaster Cid involved in anal sex with a bunny , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Zell .

One day he would discuss his feelings with Squall, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Zell masturbating himself with a popsicle.

The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the broom he was carrying with him. Would Zell's balls feel like that to his cock?

So far, so good.

What would Zell think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating chocolate off Zell's beautiful prostate?

If his tongue can reach that far in, he's either going to be freaked out or elated.

Seifer rubbed the broom against his balls whispering Zell's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his floor but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Zell's name into the night.

Meanwhile, Zell had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. Forest was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the chocolate he was carrying and leisurely scratched his balls.

I actually see the above paragraph as canonly possible.

He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Seifer calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his chocolate and ran towards the sound of his Chicken's voice.

Zell stumbled through the darkness towards Seifer. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his Chicken being attacked by a bunny. Was he about to be raped by Mollywobles dressed as Headmaster Cid? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his cock.

And the acid trip begins.

Seifer, Seifer, my Chicken, screamed Zell. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Seifer leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the broom and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare prostate pointing in the air.

*cries*

Zell! Seifer gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Squall said you were in your floor engaged in some fellatio with Mary Sue.

*laughs*

No, I was alone in my floor with nothing but my popsicle for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your prostate was, and how I would like to stroke my balls against it, and have you kiss my cock, and now I see your prostate for myself I realise that not even Headmaster Cid has a prostate to compare with yours.

*laughs, cries and breaks brain trying to imagine it*

Oh, Chicken, Squall said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Mary Sue.

What! That old bunny, I'd rather get involved in anal sex with Mollywobles, a broom and chocolate than dream of fellatio with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my cock curl.

Oh, Seifer!

Oh, Zell, my Chicken!

Finally the nickname/insult is given to the right person.

Cue soft music, sounds of fellatio and anal sex, soft focus and fade.........

Today I turn 21. throws confetti

2005-07-26T22:46:43Z

I'm now a legal adult. *runs around in circles* Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. This changes very little of my life. *skips a bit* I am a mature person. *tries to keep straight face and fails too.*

Seriously though,...I have no idea what I was going to say here.
.
.
.
.
.
Have a piece of cake and some vanilla ice cream.

Back once again!

2005-07-24T03:40:07Z

Okay, for nearly two weeks, I've been without internet access. I have several comments to answer which I'll get to in due time.

Anyway, the reason for my absence is that I've actually been enjoying my summer, hanging out with friends and doing fun things.

Everyone must have heard even a snippet that the latest Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, was released a week ago. Well I was busy helping out making my Ravenclaw uniform/costume for a book release party at Borders in Mayagüez. In our group there were Griffindors, Slytherins and a Snape. We went there, got our pictures taken dozens of time and had a great time.

After that I read the entire book, discussed with other avid fans, made predictions, stated possibilities, etc. etc. etc. I hung around till the 21st, when I accompanied a friend to the airport, said our goodbyes and finally went home to Fajardo.

I slept through the 22nd without realizing it.

And I still have two and a half weeks of vacation time. *squee*

The feeling I get

2005-07-09T13:25:22Z

You ever get that feeling that whatever you choose to say/write, and how you phrase it, is coming out all wrong to the point that people politely (and in a restrained manner)* disagree with you? As if you're being aggravating/annoying/pointless and it would have been better not to have said/written anything in the first place? And that this is happening with several completely separate persons at once, hence you can deduce that the problem lies with you?

If this has happened to you, I'd like to join your club.

*It's hard to express what I mean to say by polite and restrained manner of disagreeing. It's the type of tone that one uses for the slow. When one holds back one's temper because the aggravation isn't malicious or on purpose, yet it's still bothersome nonetheless. I admit that reading that tone in others' writing is a bit presumptuous and entirely subjective. However, it's the feeling I get and that's what this post is about.

pokes head up

2005-07-07T21:31:24Z

I'm done. Summer class is over! Got an A in evolution. Very happy. This coupled with last semester's grades will really boost up my GPA.

I'm going to browse over your ljs, see what's up. It's been a month since I've done that.

That's it for this update. Later.

I'm alive!

2005-06-20T17:51:43Z

Hello, how've you been?

Me? I've been busy. A little too busy, but nothing that I can't handle.

I'm taking Evolution as a summer class. Very interesting. Learning lots of new and odd things. Busy.

Also, joined a gym. Out of shape. Better pick up the habit of doing regular exercise. Busy.

I've been reading a lot, specially at night. Borders owns my soul and wallet. Busy (but enjoying it).

I haven't been online much (more like not at all), so I don't know what's up with you guys. If you care to, leave a comment.

Later on, I'll check up on you, see what's new.

Take care. *waves*

Show and tell

2005-06-13T01:31:15Z

I draw a lot in class. Mostly monsters. I'll show you my best ones. The first ones are of last semester.

It's a saurtaur (a reptilian centaur, of which you can't see the rest of the body.)

A winged robot. (Lets mix religion with technology. *winkwink nudgenugde*)

Cute critters From left to right: Dumb, Annoyed and Scared. (I am terrible at naming things. Leave me alone. :( )

A bunch of monsters There's a fairy in there as well.

A floating woman with her pet. (Warning: Frontal female nudity. Nothing crude!)

Old ones:

Another reptilian monster A snakelike being with arms and wings. Also emaciated. I do that a lot.

Possible other race (dragon/human). Likes to be pretty. Has no arms.

Innocent looking robotic children. Can be extremely creepy, helpful or useless, depending on what you use them for.

Poor bishi. (tecnical nudity but you can't see a thing.) Backstory: the guy is being taken to be eternally punished in hell. The big moster is making sure he gets there.

Water creatures. Self-explanatory.

monster that likes to pounce He pounces! Also looks like a weird monkey with a freaky tail that ends in a second head.

Um, a ghost/dragonoid. I actually never finished it, but that's what it looks like.

An emaciated alien. You can get hungry out there in vast emptiness of space.

A bird (possibly griffin) head. It's not a floating head. I just didn't draw the rest of the body.

Yay, glasses!

2005-06-04T01:13:22Z

*jumps for joy*
*dances for delight*
*cheers for...cheese?*

I have my new glasses. Good bye headaches and eye-strain. *checks herself out in a mirror* I do say, I look fabulous!

I really enjoy wearing glasses, in case you couldn't tell by everything above. They're like the best facial accessory there is. There's not that many, but still. A couple of years back, an acquaintance of mine got that laser eye surgery and she mentioned it to me. I vehemently said that it was not for me. Not because of the cost, or any fear of having lasers shined into my pupils. Simply because glasses = roxxors.

They're so cute and versatile...(Imagine a long and detailed rant on why glasses are so cool. We'll save each other the time.)

The joy of learning

2005-06-01T18:52:52Z

In my first semester, I took General Biology and during the first week of classes we (my classmates and I) had to take a diagnostic test with questions about genetics, mitosis, taxonomy, botany, zoology, microbiology, etc. A little bit of everything. Just the basics. Needless to say we came out of that test thankful that it didn't count as a grade, because we guessed most of it. Classes were given, notes were taken, the semester passed. At the end, when we were going to take the final exam, we were handed that same diagnostic test along with it.

I find it hard to put into words how I felt when I answered that test. Nobody knew that it was coming, so nobody prepared for it, however, I was able to competently answer every single thing. A little voice in my head said "Look, you didn't know any of this 5 months ago, but now it's common knowledge to you. You have mastered the material. Isn't that incredible? You're smarter now. Doesn't it feel great?"

It did feel great and it still does. If it were within my capabilities, then I would have liked to become one of the eternal students. You know the type. Those that study several fields, get MS's and PhD's just for the hell of it. To study Biology and several of it's branches. Then to take on some Art and History, learn a bit of the Humanities. Find out if I'm good enough at languages to learn a 3rd, 4th or 5th one.

*sigh* Sadly, it isn't within my reach. I'll get my BS, then a MS and find work. Maybe I'll be able to obtain a degree of my dream. That's for later consideration. I shouldn't belittle what I do have. Not many have the resources or the opportunity as I have. I'm grateful, very much so. However, it's part of human nature to always desire more than what one has.

Look, ma! There's a girl digging for trouble.

2005-05-31T07:39:58Z

Source of the annoyance

In the post that I linked above, that was written more than a month ago, caritasoleada decided to reply to something linxy wrote.

It's mostly in Spanish so I'll translate:

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
linxy
Suddenly I have the urge to say...

Before, Now and Always...COLEGIO! (My Uni's cheer)

caritasoleada
Even if you don't believe it, Rio Piedras has students in livejournal. I want to ask you: who are you to say that the students of Upi are stupid? I have friends in colegio and we don't need to insult each other. You shouldn't be saying ignorant gibberish (?). (If anyone can tell me how to better translate babosadas, then please do.)

naniris
I'm not sure if your commenting directly to linxy or to me. But since you commented on my lj, I'll respond.

Yes, I believe it. I even have a friend, ti_ana, that takes classes in the Upi. With all due respect, when has linxy or I called those of the Upi stupid?

I don't like how they do things, neither do I like how they disrespect those that desire to study in peace, as it should be, however, that's only a fraction of the student body and I haven't called them stupid. '(Added now: To be perfectly honest, in prior posts I had referred to the strikers' actions as stupid and to themselves as "selfish idiots" and "Goddamn ungrateful asshats", but even then I meant any reactionary striker from any campus. It just happen that most of them were in La Upi.) And in Linxzy's comment nothing appears that they're idiots. She doesn't even mention them.

The only ignorant one here is you. I don't know how you found this specific post and I care even less. Read more carefully before commenting, because right now you ended up looking like an idiot.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Then when I go to see what miss sunny face is all about, I find this:

Wow!!!!!
This is my first journal update in a long long time. I'd only logged in to practically insult a girl. My life has change for good, I'm happy with myself and transparent as water.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Agh! Morons. Why do they come out of the woodwork when I've done nothing to provoke them?

naniris @ 2005-05-29T17:41:00

2005-05-29T21:51:10Z

Tl;dr

I've been seeing this abbreviation a lot recently and I had absolutely no clue what it meant. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't decipher it and even google wasn't any help (amazing, I know). So I checked out http://www.urbandictionary.com, which I'll be using more often, and there it was.

I can understand not wanting to trudge through a long single paragraphed entry, but even the abbreviation tl;dr is a bit short, and if you don't read what's written how can you comment on it? At least, skim the damn thing.

small update

2005-05-29T19:50:15Z

I have slept and slept and slept some more. It feels so good to be able to do that. No worries. No responsibilities. No rush.

On the 27th around 11pm, my grades were up. All A's like I expected. Zoology, Ecology, Statistics, Art Apreciation and Organic Chemistry lab. Yay me.

Tomorrow, I should be getting my new glasses. Finally! I get headaches from reading without them, yet I continue to follow my ~~obsession~~ hobby. If reading can be called a hobby. Makes no difference.

On June 6th, I return to Mayagüez, pay for my summer class and my rent, and buckle down once more. But that's a week away.

naniris @ 2005-05-26T06:09:00

2005-05-26T10:20:03Z

*waves*

Back from the dead. I steered away from the internet and buckled down for my finals, which I am grateful to say are over.

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to get my grades through the UPRM website using a username and a password. *grins* No more waiting for snail mail to arrive. I am positively optimistic that I did well this semester. (well meaning all A's) If I get anything but that, well I'll have a talk with whoever gave me that particular grade and find out where a misunderstanding occured.

Also, I'm home. Finally, finally home. A bubble of anxiety and insecurity burst the second a stepped through the doorway. Melodramatic, yes, but true. *is happy*

*skims over friends' list* I'll have to catch up with a bunch of you. And answer some comments on the second to last (or is it now third to last) post.

Take care.

me r articulate.

2005-05-11T14:50:07Z

3.

Count them. 1, 2, 3 exams yesterday. *is dead*

Finals start next week. *makes study plan* Ends on the 26 of May.

Very busy. Can't read lj often.

I've decided to take a summer class. Remember how I moaned for summer to arrive because I was so tired of my classes. Well, I'm elongating my pain. I realized that during summer vacation I don't (and won't) do ANYTHING productive. I don't (and won't) travel. I don't (and won't) take up a hobby. I don't (and won't) get a job. Nothing. I just vegged out, eat, sleep, watch tv and surf the internet. Instead of doing that for two months, I'll do it only during July. During June, I'll be learning about Evolution for 2 and a half hours, Monday through Friday.

*sigh* Part of me hates this decision, yet another cannot stand a wasted opportunity. So the latter wins.

naniris @ 2005-05-03T16:01:00

2005-05-03T19:37:04Z

I got my classes! I got my classes!

Hora	Lunes	Martes	Miercoles	Jueves	Viernes
7:30 am	Microbiology Biol 3770 Sec. 010 Montalvo	Celular Physiology Lab Biol 3010 Sec. 016L	Microbiology Biol 3770 Sec. 010 Montalvo
8:35 am				Physics Lab Fisi 3154 Sec 027	Seminary Biol 4925 Sec. 020 Castro
9:40 am				Physics Lab Fisi 3154 Sec 027	Seminary Biol 4925 Sec. 020 Castro
10:45 am
11: 50 am	Celular Physiology Biol 3010 Sec. 050 Uscian		Celular Physiology Biol 3010 Sec. 050 Uscian
12:55 pm	Art History Arte 4271 Sec. 060 Aponte	Microbiology Lab Biol 3770 Sec. 066L	Art History Arte 4271 Sec. 060 Aponte		Art History Arte 4271 Sec. 060 Aponte
2:00 pm	Physics 2 Fisi 3152 Sec. 070 Gaud		Physics 2 Fisi 3152 Sec. 070 Gaud		Physics 2 Fisi 3152 Sec. 070 Gaud
3:05 pm
4:35 pm
5:40 pm
6:45 pm

*Jumps for joy*

Academic anxiety

2005-05-02T19:40:57Z

Okay, well. Exams, portfolios, classes, labs. Nothing new and here I am getting anxiety attacks for no better reason than brought on by my own procrastination.

My turn to matriculate my classes is tomorrow at 8:15 am. I fairly good turn, yet I can't get over this dread that my chosen courses will be full. I keep checking how many spaces are left and then rechecking and rechecking. Art 4271 with Aponte (Art History fromn Paleolitic-Roman), Biol 3010 with Uscian (Celular Physiology), Fisi 3152 with Gaud (Physics 2). They sum up to 10 credits, so I still have to choose something else. That hardly matters. As long as I get those three, I'm happy.

I have 12 free elective credits. I haven't used a single one. Whenever I tried, the class had either filled up before I got a chance or they canceled it because it didn't reach it's quota. The latter happened to the "biracial/bicultural/bisexual/bilingual games in contemporary cinema" that I really, really wanted to take. It was because of that class that I didn't take Human Anatomy 2. Their schedules conflicted with each other.

Art history uses up three of my free electives creds, leaving me with 9 that I must waste somehow in the January-May semester.

*sighs*

I should get this off my chest now. I'm switching to Biology and giving up on Pre-med and any type of medical profession. I can't handle it. I can give you a long list of perfectly justifiable reasons of why I shouldn't pursue a medical career, but it boils down to me being a coward. I'm scared. I'm scared of my incompetence, scared of my faults, scared of my inadecuacy. I am not fit to be a doctor. I do not deserve to be a doctor. I will end up prescribing the wrong drug, the wrong amount, the wrong dose. I will slit the wrong artery and sever the wrong organ. I will kill someone who has placed their trust in my hands. I will essentially fuck up. And I believe this so strongly that I am certain that I will sabotage my own efforts to overcome my pathetic lack of confidence.

So in order to avoid such anguish and hurt, I'll simply not go down that road. I'll spend several years berating myself for not having the guts to fulfill a life-long dream. But it won't matter how hurtful this inner voice may be. There will be another one telling that I made the right choice, that I'm not at risk of maiming anyone outside of the average car-crash. This second voice will be my comfort while I wait for the first one to fade away.

In August, I'm changing my major to Biology, then I will apply for a second BS in Industrial Microbiology. This is a stalling tactic, so that I may get more time to decide what to do with my life. After severing myself from all things medical, I find that I never had a plan B, so I must make one quick.

I'm 20 now. In August, I'll be 21. I still have plenty of time, don't I?

The inner workings of Nani

Getting it over with

Lj comment about labels

*pokes head up*

Hey, I'm still alive

About hurricanes

*coughsneeze*...ouch.

*sigh of contentment*

Misconceptions.

Salsa meets Streetfighter.

Instaslash

Today I turn 21. *throws confetti*

Back once again!

The feeling I get

*pokes head up*

I'm alive!

Show and tell

Yay, glasses!

The joy of learning

Look, ma! There's a girl digging for trouble.

naniris @ 2005-05-29T17:41:00

small update

naniris @ 2005-05-26T06:09:00

me r articulate.

naniris @ 2005-05-03T16:01:00

Academic anxiety

pokes head up

coughsneeze...ouch.

sigh of contentment

Today I turn 21. throws confetti

pokes head up