So good, Pam. Thank you. I didn't think about a DNR other than it’s something we’ll have to take care of “some day”. Guess I might need to look into this sooner than I thought.
There’s something very honest here about the mismatch between outward readiness and inner readiness. We can pack, plan, and perform competence while still carrying fear or grief, and the act of preparing is often how we metabolize that reality.
Thank you for writing this with such restraint and clarity!
Most families find out what they don't have in the ER. Someone in scrubs asks about power of attorney and the answer is no, we never got to that.
Worth saying the quiet part out loud: an advance directive isn't legally binding. Whoever holds medical POA can override it completely. The document matters less than whether the person holding it already knows what your person actually wanted.
Exactly. I was surprised to learn this, but it's why I've noted the importance of having *one* person with medical POA. The time it takes for people to argue about how to proceed is too precious to waste.
So good, Pam. Thank you. I didn't think about a DNR other than it’s something we’ll have to take care of “some day”. Guess I might need to look into this sooner than I thought.
There’s something very honest here about the mismatch between outward readiness and inner readiness. We can pack, plan, and perform competence while still carrying fear or grief, and the act of preparing is often how we metabolize that reality.
Thank you for writing this with such restraint and clarity!
Well done for getting this out there. Always better to have these things in place before the first crisis.
Most families find out what they don't have in the ER. Someone in scrubs asks about power of attorney and the answer is no, we never got to that.
Worth saying the quiet part out loud: an advance directive isn't legally binding. Whoever holds medical POA can override it completely. The document matters less than whether the person holding it already knows what your person actually wanted.
That gap is where families fracture.
Exactly. I was surprised to learn this, but it's why I've noted the importance of having *one* person with medical POA. The time it takes for people to argue about how to proceed is too precious to waste.