Ben Braeden

Figures...

2011-01-31T19:19:12Z

Well, at least this year, LJ gave me a mixture of kid and adult icons with various emotions when I lost my paid time! LOL!

So yeah, until I scrounge up the funds for paid time and icons, get used to only like 7 adult and 8 kid icons. Sorry guys.

Writing Sample for eldorado_rpg application

2011-01-10T20:50:56Z

"This blows," he muttered, tossing the ball against the wall in his room, instead of packing. Again. He refused to move again. And after the fight he had at school, he was grounded to boot. But Mom had the last say, and he was expected to just go with it.

Moving again. This time somewhere that Dean couldn’t find them.

This sucked. It sucked hardcore and the fact Ben didn’t get a say in it made him hate it all the more. Part of him wanted to just pack up his bag,hop on his bike and go out and find him. But Ben is old enough to know that he’s just a kid and a cop would find him and bring him home before he could get out of town.

He missed Dean; and it was weird because Dean really had only been around for a year. But it had been a really fun year. Dean paid attention to him and had been teaching him so many cool things. Ben was pretty sure he was the only one in his school that could rebuild a transmission. Well, sure, Dean did most of it and Ben could use more practice, but that was beyond the point. Dean and he did cool things together - guy things; things that his mother just didn’t understand.

And now Mom said that Dean was gone and he couldn’t call him anymore. Because of some stupid fight they were having. Some stupid adult fight and now Ben couldn’t talk to the man who was the only father Ben had ever had. All Ben had ever really wanted was a father, and now his mother was keeping him away from him.

"Ben, you done packing?" Mom’s voice came up the stairs.

"I’m not moving!"

He listened the the feet on the stairs, then turned his head to see his mother standing in the doorway, arms crossed. "Ben, if you don’t pack it, we’re leaving it behind."

"Then leave me behind too. I’m not leaving until Dean comes home."

Ben had gotten used to the hand movement that his mother did at him. She started doing it when Dean had moved in. He dubbed them the I’m trying to strangle your shadow hands. "Ben, we’ve been over this. Right now, he’s working and he’s too dangerous to be around. If he decides to stop hunting and really settle down, then..."

"You’re the one who told him to go back!" Ben shouted. "You let him go. You didn’t even ask me what I wanted, and now you won’t even let me talk to him. That’s not fair."

“Ben, I was just doing what was the best for both of us.”

"It’s not the best thing for me. I want my dad back." He turned away from her, throwing his blanket over him. A moment later he felt the bed lower as his mother sat beside him and rubbed his back.

"I want him back too, Ben."

"Then call him and tell him to come home."

"It’s not that easy."

"Yes it is. You pick up the phone, dial his number and tell him to come home."

His mom kept rubbing his back, then stood up. "I’m going to finish cooking dinner. Afterward, we will pack up your room together."

"I’m not going."

There was no response, and Ben peeked out of his covers to confirm that his mother was gone before he kicked them away and rubbed at his eyes.

"I’m not going until Dean comes home."

In Which Boaz Makes a Roadtrip

2010-04-10T20:41:28Z

"Ben, he's not asking for you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"Yeah, I get that." He looked at the picture in his hand that Dean had left. His father - all these years later and suddenly Dean was back and his mother was telling him that she knew - wanted to see him. And he had a little cousin. "Just... not something I was expecting."

"Dean will be fine with whatever you choose. But I'd really like you to think about at least talking to him. I'm sure you've got questions."

"I do." He rubbed the back of his neck. "What about you, Mom? You want him around again?"

Lisa smiled just a bit. "It was nice seeing him again, Ben. I'd like to see more of him. But if you're not comfortable..."

"Mom, I'm not eight anymore. You don't need to worry about my feelings when you're seeing a guy." He smirked up at his mother. "I just don't want to hear about what you two are doing when I'm not here."

"Like I'd tell you that anyway." Lisa smoothed the first red spike of her son's hair so she could kiss his forehead. "Do me a favor, though?"

"What's that?"

"If you decide to take a road trip out to Iowa like I know you're planning, please at least tone down the look so the press doesn't follow you."

Ben smirked a bit and shook his head. "Yes, Mom."

***

The flight from LA to Des Moines wasn't bad, and he rented a car the next morning to drive the rest of the way to the house where Dean had told his mother that he lived. It probably wasn't the smartest plan he had, but he did want a chance to look at this family before he went to talk to them.

He watched his cousin and his uncle go off to school, and saw that his father's car stayed parked in the driveway. Figuring that it meant Dean wasn't going off to any job, Ben pulled the car up next to it in the driveway and made his way to the front door, knocking before he looked at his reflection in the window.

He actually looked normal for once, and sober too. It was the best he could manage, so he hoped it would be noticed he was trying to act the part. If only for his mom's sake.

musesandlyrics: " Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened!"

2010-04-03T04:21:35Z

ooc: set in wayward_au, a bit down the road from where we are now. Dean is jstliketherifle and used with love and permission.

"Do you realize that you talk about your father in the past tense sometimes?"

"Yes."

"But he isn't dead according to our records. Why do you do that?"

"He isn't the same man I remember him to be... it causes some issues between us."

"How do you believe he is supposed to be?"

~ One Year Ago ~

"Hey, kid. Come on." Dean stuck his head into Ben's bedroom, smirking. "You will turn into your uncle if you do nothing but study all day."

Ben's head quickly twisted away from the pile of books he had been working in, his shock fading away into a smirk. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the area and thought I'd take my kid out for a beer and a burger. Something wrong with that?" Dean almost looked insulted.

"In the area?" Ben gave him the look, and Dean shrugged.

"Ok, maybe not in the general area but within driving distance. Grab your jacket. It's cold out."

***

"... and after that was over, your uncle and I were lucky we even made it back to the car before the feds picked up our trail." Dean was leaning over the pool table, lining up a shot as Ben stood nearby, leaning on his cue. "I swear, I've never been more grateful to a lawyer that I was that chick. Hendrickson had to have been pissed."

"Sounds like he rode your tail hard."

Dean took his shot, sinking the 6 ball and moving for his next one. "Yeah, but he turned out to be a good guy in the end. Course it took him getting possessed himself before he actually believed us." Dean shook his head. "Poor bastard didn't even know what was coming until it was over for him."

"Lilith?"

"Yup. The first time she came after us... well, your uncle." Dean thought a moment. "That was only a few months after I met you that first time."

"Probably a good thing it was after. I don't think I would have enjoyed having her trying to be my playmate back then."

"Neither would I." Dean missed his shot and let Ben take his turn. "So who taught you how to play?"

"One of mom's boyfriends. Sal worked in a pool hall that was next door to Mom's yoga place. He was a pretty cool guy, and since the place didn't turn into an 18 or older joint until nine, I'd go in there after high school sometimes and we'd play a few games until Mom was ready to go home." Ben sank his ball. "There's a group of guys at school who play for cash on Friday nights. I'll join in sometimes. It's all for fun but they claim I cheat because I usually win."

Dean laughed. "At least you have a profitable skill you can use. In case the whole real job after college thing doesn't pan out." He reached over and took a sip of his beer. "I used to be able to make a few hundred a night if the games were good and the bikers were drunk enough."

"Trying to sell me a lifestyle?" Ben looked up as he missed his shot, shaking his head. "Professional pool hustler, just like my old man?"

"Ben, I want you to be nothing like me, you hear." Dean looked at his son. "You've got a good head on your shoulders, and you've got a chance to make something of your life still."

"Dad..."

"I mean it." Dean leaned against the table a moment, looking off in the distance. "Sammy... when he went off to school I first hated the idea, but after awhile I wanted nothing more for him to be happy. If being normal was what made him happy, then I'd get by. Course he coulda been a bit better at the whole thing, but that's done and gone. Ain't worth crying over it now." He looked at Ben. "You've got this chance now, kid, and while it means you're probably gonna go off and have a job, a family, and all that... I'd much rather you get that than what I've got going. Hell, if Alec would do it I'd push him off to college too but he's got the hunter spirit."

"I don't like being away. I miss you guys. It's strange, being on my own." Ben picked up his own beer and took a sip. "And while I'll agree that I ain't anywhere near as good being a hunter like the rest of you, that doesn't mean that I can't make my life around you guys still. You're my family."

Dean reached over and put a hand on his son's shoulder. "Don't think I'm pushing you away, Ben. I just want you to be better..."

"Dad, you're a good man. You may be one of America's Most Wanted and have your face pasted in the bulls-eye of Satan's dartboard, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to be at least a little bit like you."

"You got the good looks from me, Ben. Your mother raised you good, and I'm doing my best not to fuck that up."

Ben rolled his eyes. "You really have low self esteem issues, don't you?"

Dean gave his son a smirk and took another sip of his beer before looking at the pool table. "Who's turn is it?"

Blinking, Ben looked back at the table. "Yours, I think."

Nodding, Dean leaned back down over the table. "I'm proud of you, kid. Whatever the future brings, just remember that no matter what you choose to do, I'm always going to be proud of you."

~ Present Day ~

"Do you think that man is still inside him somewhere, even if you believe he has changed so much you no longer see it?"

"... I want to believe so. I just don't -"

"No. You want to believe, then believe. Don't destroy your paths to finding him by already putting up roadblocks and conditions that he will not be able to meet."

"I don't want to get hurt."

"I know you don't, Ben. But he's your father. I don't think he wants to hurt you any more than you want to be hurt by him. Believe that you can find him again, and let yourself be open to that without any conditions. If you do that, I think you'll be surprised at what you'll really see."

"And what's that?"

"That for all you feel he's disappeared on you, that he's been standing there all along, just waiting for you to see him again."

Fanmix: Love is All that Matters (Ben/Anna - Wayward)

2010-03-07T18:17:05Z

There are times when two people look at each other and you know that it's true love. A love that lasts through the good times and the bad. Ben and Anna are a beautiful representation of this kind of love, and as they have grown during their time in Wayward Sons, you can't help but love these two for all the small nuisances of their romance, and hope that the future will be a bit more kind to them...

Love is All That Matters: A Ben & Anna Fanmix

1. Exactly What I Didn’t Want to Happen – Whitney Duncan

I used to find
Peace of Mind
In my solitude
And now I'm going crazy
Every minute without you

And that's exactly what I
Didn't want to happen
But you and me
Had to be a perfect fit
Yeah, right from the get-go
I couldn't let go
When ya held me tight
It felt so right
That I said I want some more
Of this
And that's exactly what I
Didn't want to happen
But I'm glad it did

When this verse first started eons ago, as muns we both actually tried not to let these two ship. The muses, however, had plans of their own and gravitated to each other. Ben fell first, but Anna kept a distance still. This song reminds me of her struggle not to let Ben into her heart and not become my preferred OTP in any of my verses

~

2. Feeling Fine – Three Brave Woodsmen

I've got no where to go
I've got no place to be
and there's no monkey on my back
that's eating me
so I'm taken by as far as I can roam
and if I close my eyes the world becomes my home
when I step outside
when I chase the wind
And I'm feelin' fine
I'm feelin' fine

This on is pretty self explanatory. Anna is a free spirit and loves to roam. Ben loves his car and could drive for days without complaint as long as his music is blaring out open windows. It's something they can do together forever without complaint.

~

3. Thank You – Boys II Men

Cause even though when times got rough
You never turned away
You were right there
And I thank you (thank youooo)
When I felt I had enough
You never turned away
You were right there
And I thank you (thank you)

This is a Ben song that's a bit playful, and shows just how much he appreciates Anna putting up with his shit when he has hit little meltdowns. He knows she could have just kicked him to the side a long time ago, but she sticks around and helps him get his head back on straight, and he appreciates it.

~

4. Just Might (Make me Believe) - Sugarland

I got someone who loves me more than words can say
And I'm thankful for that each and every day
And if I count all my blessings, I get a smile on my face
Still it's hard to find faith

But if you can look in my eyes
And tell me we'll be alright
If you promise never to leave
You just might make me believe

This is a bit of both of them. They are both afraid at times of losing the other, and all it takes is them to be together and just in that moment, it restores their faith in each other staying together even in the tough times.

~

5. More than I Deserve – Christian Kane

Livin' with me, it ain't easy
but I do it every day
sometimes even now
I wanna run away
but there you are
you're tryin' to please me
yeah you stand your ground
it's more than I deserve

I've taken more than I've been given
I've taken for granted this life I'm livin'
I don't know why heaven above
blessed me with your sweet love
though I never tell you what you're worth
it's more than I deserve

This is something Ben thinks of late at night when he should be sleeping but is just laying there with Anna in his arms, grateful that she's there for him. He knows lately he hasn't been the easiest person to live with, and his realization that it's him and not the people he blames for his problems, the fact Anna hasn't given up on him makes him wonder just what he did right to deserve someone like her in his life.

~

6. Beautiful Disaster - Kelly Clarkson

He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight

Oh 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

As Anna sees Ben after the djinn kidnapping, things have changed. There's two versions of her in his head and he's struggling to put everything back together in the right way on his own. All she can do is sit back and hold his hand and hope she can get her Ben back when it's all said and done.

~

7. Crawlin’ – Linkin Park

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming/confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling/I can't seem...

This is purely Ben and his battle with the turmoil inside of him that he just can't seem to win against. Ever since he was kidnapped by Meg, the anger in his soul has just kept growing and it's getting to a boiling point and he's starting to get scared of himself and how he treats his own family.

~

8. So Small – Carrie Underwood

It's so easy to get lost inside
a problem that seems so big at the time
it's like a river that's so wide
it swallows you whole
While you sit around thinking about what you can't change
and worrying about all the wrong things
time's flying by
moving so fast
you better make it count 'cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
What you've been up there searching for
forever is in your hands
When you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Seem so small

This is Anna's song to Ben. She's worried about him all the time because of the falling out he's having with his father, and brother as a side effect. It feels like she doesn't know how to help him with this anymore but won't stop trying to help him through it.

~

9. Someone Like You – Keith Urban

There's a new wind blowin' like I've never known.
I'm breathin' deeper than I've ever done.
And it sure feels good, to finally feel the way I do.
I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you.

An' I'm lettin' go of all my lonely yesterdays.
I've forgiven myself for the mistakes I've made.
Now there's just one thing, the only thing I wanna do, mmm, mmm.
I wanna love somebody,
Love somebody like you.

Ben knows he loves Anna, but his anger gets in the way of a lot of things and he has been pushing people away. He will eventually get some help on that, and when he get himself "fixed", he's going to come out with a healthier mindset at life and knowing what he wants. And number one on the list... is spending forever with Anna.

~

10. What if it All Goes Right – Melissa Lawson

what if that road that you're taking's a dead end
What if love leaves you all jaded and broken
what if that limb breaks you're climbing out on
yeah, what if it all goes wrong

But, what if it all goes right
what if it all works out
what if the stars line up
and good luck rains down
what if you chase your dreams
and it changes your whole life
Yeah, what if it all goes right

Yeah... this is Ben's argument to Anna when she refuses to give him an answer right away on his proposal. He loves her more than he can really ever describe in words, and he knows she's afraid of commitment like this... but he wants to prove to her that she can look past her fears and see that this can be a spectacular thing too.

charloft: First time I Fell in Love

2010-02-12T04:45:43Z

You know, it's weird. When you're in high school, you tell every girl you date that you love them and they are the only one. For some guys, they mean it. Some it's just a way to get into the girl's pants. And some guys just fall in "love" with a new girl every week.

I had a few girls in high school I thought I was in love with, sure, but now I know it wasn't love. Love is a completely different feeling that I didn't understand back then. Hell, I still don't really get it now.

It's knowing that a single phone call in the middle of the night can keep me sane...
It's the relief holding her in my arms when I thought she was lost...
It's staring into her eyes knowing that the love in them is for me...
It's holding hands as you walk and not caring what anyone says...
It's stealing kisses while washing dishes and getting water all over us...
It's trying not to laugh in a dorm room to wake up the roommates while having a tickle war...
It's watching her sleep in my lap when the movie she picked isn't finished and I can't reach the controller to turn it off...
It's knowing that I can screw up and she will not just walk away from me...
It's having her as the focal point of my dreams and what our future can become...
It's hearing her whisper my name against my ear as we cling to one another...
and it's knowing that no matter if we're in the same room or across the country, that there is an invisible bond that always keeps us connected.

That is how I know that with Anna, it's love. I've never had that with anyone else, and if I'm lucky, I never will.

How do You Wish an Angel a Happy Birthday?

2010-01-24T19:22:59Z

It wasn't something Ben did often. Hell, after his mother died and then everything that happened with him and Dean after that, walking into a church was the last thing Ben ever thought he would do again.

But the campus chapel had just let out from Sunday Mass and Ben needed a new supply of holy water, so he snuck in and quickly filled the three flasks he had, putting them in various pockets before he picked up a daily church newsletter and noticed the date.

January 24th.

He felt his fingers crumble the newsletter as he remembered what today was. Dean's birthday. His father's birthday.

Even a year later, Ben was still having a hard time with the change. He had his good days, and they outnumbered the bad, but this day came out of nowhere and sucker-punched him in the heart, and he just sat down in the last pew, putting his hands over his eyes.

Today was supposed to be about sitting around the house, teasing his father about his old age while sharing a beer, a burger and some pie before driving back like a madman to make his class the next morning. Instead here he was, alone while everyone was living their own lives and his father was now an archangel in heaven playing bodyguard to his brother.

"Is there something bothering you, son?"

Ben looked up to see the chapel priest standing over him. He quickly wiped his tears away and started to get up. "No, just got lost in my thoughts."

The priest nodded. "Just remember, in times when we feel that the world is crashing down on you, God will be there to help you through it."

He just nodded, being good and not saying his own opinions about God and how his world had crashed because of Her. He started to walk out, then stopped as he saw the candles that were lit for prayers.

Pulling out a dollar from his pocket for a donation, he made it, then lit a candle.

"Happy Birthday, Dad," he said softly, then turned to leave before any heavenly body got any ideas about appearing around him.

mini_dean @ 2010-01-07T00:06:00

2010-01-07T05:06:49Z

ooc: prompt is the lyrics of Cowboy Casanova

2023. He still remembered the date where Bela had found him. It was a post-apocalyptic world where only the rich and the lucky had survived: the rich because they were able to afford to keep moving to the disease-free zones until the chemically engineered malaria half-lifed out somewhere in the late teens. Apparently the thing had a cycle, and Ben's family was rich long enough to keep out of the zones, and he alone was lucky enough to survive the fire that took out the family home and everyone inside while he was out taking a joyride in one of grandpa's ancient cars.

The car that he still owned and slept in as he traveled the roads of what was left of the country with just some clothes, a guitar he found at some abandoned bar, a gun that had seen some use, and whatever else he might have conned or stolen in order to survive.

It was in a smokey bar that Ben had stopped for the weekend, hustling some pool while sharing joints with the bikers he was sharking when the brunette with the British accent walked in. Their eyes locked almost instantly, and for a moment there was a bit of panic in them before she smiled back at him and took a nice look over him as he leaned over a bit more than needed for his final shot.

Taking his winnings, he had walked over to her at the bar and leaned against it, the joint hanging loosely from his lips. "See something you like, sweetheart?" he asked.

Bela took the joint from his lips and took a hit from it before blowing the smoke into his face and laughing. "Maybe I do. Got a name, or should I make one up for you?"

"Name's Ben."

"Well, Ben..." Her finger traced down his chest and he couldn't help but smirk at her boldness, "... I think you're exactly what I'm looking for. You like to have a good time, yeah?"

"Who doesn't?"

She leaned close, her lips inches from his. "Then pardon the expression, but I'm about to show you a whole new world."

Ben was a quick learner, especially when he wasn't on a buzz from some drug or another. From the first time jump that quickly left the contents of his stomach on the ground where they landed, he knew Bela was more than just a a beautiful woman with a sexy accent and the longest set of legs to ever wrap around his waist. When she said she was going to show him the world, she really meant it.

He learned about the time agents and the agency and the unspoken rules that would keep them alive. Don't change the people. Slip in and out quickly, grab the things they wanted and get the hell out before someone noticed you as something different. In just a few months, Ben had seen things in the past he had only heard about in fairy tales, and a future where the world was not what he imagined and flying cars still didn't exist.

In the whispers of the dark as they lay sweaty and wrapped around each other, she made him a deal. Work for her, and he would never have to worry about just trying to survive. Together they would create an literal underground goldmine of acquired objects they could fence over and over again to the right people with just a plan and a few sets of smiles and dark nights to cover them.

The Agency couldn't really believe Bela was able to cause all those robberies on her own, but if Bela was hard to find, she made sure Ben was harder. She would drop him off in a time with a little job and a day she would come back for him. Until then he took the information she gave him and blended in, doing what he needed to get the job done and wait for her to come back.

It was one job that he was waiting at the rendezvous point when Ben got a look at him. Ben was waiting for her in Madrid, inside the bedroom of the hotel room when she appeared, and soon after so did he. Bela had warned him that there was an agent on her tail, but he never imagined that the agent would be wearing his face.

He listened to their conversation at gunpoint, keeping quiet as to not attract the agent's attention. She called him a different name - Dean Winchester. Ben kept that name in the back of his head, and when Bela came back for him at the second checkpoint, she instantly took him out of there and to the safe zone they always went to when she needed to hide.

3245. The world was rebuilding itself, and the earth was so beautiful with the greenest spans of land between the intensely woven cities. Flying cars did exist here, as no one was allowed to set foot on the greenlands. It was sad that in a few hundred years this was going to change again, but they could enjoy it now.

But he wanted answers first, and when he finally got them, he never realized just how angry he could be. "Why didn't you tell me?" he shouted, slamming his hands against the wall.

"It didn't matter."

"Bullshit." He turned to look at her, half-dressed on the bed and trying to maintain a sense of calm. In fact she was looking at him like a little boy throwing a temper tantrum. "What am I to you, Bela? You just came along and picked up the son of the agent trying to hunt you down out of coincidence? I don't think so."

Bela sighed and fixed the strap of her bra. "This isn't about you being Dean's son, Ben. Let me explain..."

He moved quickly, pinning her to the bed as he glared down at her. "You think you're screwing him when I'm on top of you like this?" he growled through gritted teeth.

"No."

"Don't lie to me!"

Bela took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. "Ben, if I wanted to screw your father, I would have done it back in Woodstock. We were both high enough. When I'm with you, it's all about you."

"Why me?" He let her go and pushed away, but didn't move further than the edge of the bed. "You have millenniums to travel and you brought me into this. Why?"

Bela got up and rubbed her hands along the back of his shoulders, trying to relax the muscles there. "I've seen the future, Ben. Much further than I've ever taken you. Things are happening and you could be a part of it. I can't tell, but things happen the way I've seen them, you could be very valuable to the right people."

He snorted, almost disgusted now. "So I'm just another one of your acquisitions? I should have known..."

"Listen to me, Ben. I started looking into this agent... your father... and things I see happening ain't going to be fun for any of us. If I hadn't found you, someone else would have."

"I don't understand."

"You're a loose end, Ben. Your father wasn't supposed to have a kid. He doesn't know you even exist, but if he did -"

"The future changes." He turned to look at Bela, starting to get the picture. "What did you see, Bela?"

"If the wrong person gets you, Ben, they can use you against a number of other people to make them do their bidding. If we're going to make it through this, you need to be somewhere that no one can find you."

"They can just pluck me from another time, can't they?"

"No, because they would change your future." Her hand ran along his face. "The night I took you from that bar, you were supposed to die in a bar fight with those bikers you hustled. I broke the law taking you, but you were at the end of your life so I didn't change anything in the future in sliding you out."

"And the jumping around, doing those jobs?"

"Keeping you out of harm's way. If I stay with you too long, Dean will catch up to find you, and I can't save you then."

Ben nodded his head, his hand clenched on his knee. "So now what?"

"Now we go to plan B."

Which was how Ben was left in 3245 for his own safety, but not after taking Bela to Zaragoza and giving her one final kiss. "Don't let them break you," he told her, cupping her cheek.

"Don't plan on it." She smiled up at him. "We had a good run, yeah? I don't expect you to spend a lot of time pining after me. A little bit, but not much."

"Here I was hoping you'd spend the rest of your life pining after me." Ben smirked and leaned against her hand.

"Time keeps going on, Ben. Even seeing the future, you still don't know what it's going to bring. There's a good chance I won't ever see you again, so don't wait for me. Just get back and hide the gear. Someone will come for it for me one day, and they will let you know it's safe to hand it over."

"How will I know?"

"You will." She got on her toes and kissed him softly, then patted his cheek. "Keep yourself safe, Ben."

He nodded, giving her one final look before jumping out of the time they were in back to 3245. Ben put the gear in the storage locker where they had stashed other objects over the last few months, then locked it up good. After that, he looked out at the greenlands from his apartment balcony and decided that it was time to start blending in once again for his own safety and wait until someone came looking for him.

Someone who was going to either show him how he could help out in whatever Bela had seen in the future, or else someone who was going to use him to cause that future she feared.

musebysentence 44.8: Disbelief

2010-01-06T18:05:59Z

It wasn't really the shock of learning who his father was that upset Ben the most - it was the fact that he could have known back when he was eight and there was now all these years lost for both of them that had him almost wishing he hadn't been told at all.

Big Wheels Keep On Turning...

2010-01-04T05:15:40Z

Left a good job in the city,
Working for The Man every night and day,
And I never lost one minute of sleeping,
Worrying 'bout the way things might have been.
Proud Mary - Credence Clearwater Revival

The flashbulbs and the bright lights were commonplace in the life of Boaz Ramone. He wore his sunglasses almost all the time to deaden the little white light flashes they caused in his vision for minutes after each picture, and only took them off when it got too dark to see inside.

It was another awards show, another after party, and a pretty blonde on his arm as they walked up the red carpet that Boaz didn't even know her name, but sure as hell would know hear her screaming his when the night was over. It was how the game was played, and he loved every moment of it.

But when he was sober and in the shower in the mornings, he remembered still how he had gotten there. He could still remember the awkward teenager who got lucky and made a band with a few friends in high school that led him to trying out for the singing reality show on a dare. The weeks he spent out in Hollywood for the show whizzed by as a series of training sessions, recordings and eventually his hair was cut and his clothes were picked out for him and he was rocking out to the music he grew up loving all his life. Somehow he even won the damn thing, and there was a tour and cd's and parties and somewhere along the way little Ben Braeden was gone and all that was left was the rock star.

The life was amazing - more than he ever imagined. The alcohol and drugs came freely, which he abused the first and avoided the second most of the time. He hung out with all the popular stars around his age and didn't have to pay for a single thing as his record label provided it all.

And the girls? They were literally climbing through his windows just to have a night with the great and sexy Boaz Ramone. If Ben knew who his father was, he was pretty sure the man would be damn proud of that.

It was a good life and Ben was smart enough still to know it wasn't always going to last. He was the flavor of the week right now, but soon he was going to fade into a has-been obscurity and he was going to be prepared to let himself be comfortable when it happened. Right now it was all about living life to the fullest, making his mama proud, and of course making a damn good acceptance speech tonight when he won another award for his debut CD after he gave an epic performance all the morning shows would be talking about tomorrow.

Boaz Ramone was the hottest thing in town, and he was going to make sure they remembered why.

Father and Son Day!

2009-12-27T05:58:58Z

Ben was excited to have a football game on the day after Christmas. Lisa and Dean decided to split up, and while Dean went to watch Ben play his game, she took Alec off to the malls to look at the after holiday sales.

He was really excited because Dad was there just to see him, and he wasn't distracted by Alec or Mom, and so he did his best to show off a bit since he was in the first team. He might be one of the smaller kids on the team, but he was a great tackler because he could sneak around and under people to get at their legs.

After one strong tackle, Ben got up and and looked over at his father, grinning proudly.

Merry Christmas, darling...

2009-12-26T05:48:53Z

The thing Ben loved most about waking up Christmas morning was the feeling of being snuggled up under the covers with his hands around Anna. It had been over half a year now since his kidnapping, and he was back to normal for the most part. Some things had changed though, and Anna and the rest of his family had taken to his new little nuances and even embraced some of the changes for the better.

His schooling had picked up and he was back on track, having changed his major out of engineering and into international studies and journalism. It was something different, and something that he knew he could share with Anna after graduation.

The one thing that never changed was Ben's love for Anna. It was deeper, but as the weeks had gone by he was able to remember where they had been before his dream world tossed him through a loop, and found a medium spot that they were both comfortable with.

And this morning, her back to his chest as she laid in his arms, he wanted to much to just stay there forever like that. But the sun was rising and he knew the rest of the family would be waking up to find breakfast waiting and gifts under the tree to rip open. However, Ben wanted to give Anna her gift in a bit more of a private setting, so he reached into the pillowcase under his head and pulled out the small jewelry bag.

The delicate heart necklace caught the sun as he undid the clasp, and as he felt Anna stirring in his arms, he kissed her shoulder and smiled. "Now you will always have my heart with you," he said softly, letting it hang in front of her eyes as they opened to look at the window, then carefully moved her hair as he put it on against the bare flesh of her neck. "Merry Christmas, darling. I love you."

just_postit

2009-12-08T17:03:37Z

It's strange. I have a lot of friends that I barely know, and I still find myself sitting on my couch on a Saturday night doing absolutely nothing. So it makes me wonder if it's just me, or do I just need more friends?

musebysentence Advent 8: Mistletoe

2009-12-08T16:15:08Z

It wasn't like he needed a reason to kiss Anna - but the headband with the mistletoe hanging in the air above his head was too good to pass up to help solicit a night of playful kisses between them.

OOC: I guess thanks are in order...

2009-12-03T02:28:36Z

Ben is completely shocked, awed and humbled that people voted for him in the arpea_awards. Not only that, but that there are friends who are not part of his everyday playbox who would vote for him. Though he is worried about people stalking him now LOL!

So from the bottom of his little muse heart, both as his kid and adult versions, he says thank you.

mini_dean @ 2009-11-07T18:16:00

2009-11-08T01:02:44Z

Post your three favorite fics of all time you have written for your muse. Give links, a 1-2 sentence summary, and any current season spoilers/warnings that you might need for new readers.

And if you have multiple muses that you want to do this, you need to put it in each muses journal separately with only their fics. After all, some people are friends with one muse, but not another. :)

And if you read and like, leave some comment love. Writers thrive on their egos, after all.

My three:

1. Monster Under the Bed: One of the few prompts done in kid!Ben voice, it's about how Ben defeated the scariest monster of all times and didn't need a .45 to do it.

2. I'm Fine: This takes place before Sam takes over Lucifer in wayward_au, and shows the unstable mindset that Ben has in ways that he hides way too well from his family.

3. Open Mouth, Insert Foot: Ben loves his Anna more than he can ever express out loud... and sometimes it makes the psychics around him mad.

Bonus - Rise of the Boy King: a very AU prompt from Wayward that scared the bejesus out of me. It's very dark, a lot of death, and he keeps poking me to write more to this world that frankly, I'm scared to look at.

Sibling Time in the New Place

2009-11-01T21:10:35Z

The apartment was only two weeks old, and already Ben had to clean it up. His mother and Sam had helped him get some furniture for the one bedroom, but he had his own space and it felt good. Of course, he was also living up to the single male sterotype and the place was trashed almost immediately with take-out cartons and dirty clothes.

But today he was cleaning it all up while trying to cook something simple for dinner. He had suggested to Maddie on her birthday that they get together for some sibling time, but it had been put off until now.

It was a Friday night, and he had offered Maddie dinner and a movie and just time to hang out. It got her out of the house, and if she ended up eating and then bailing to go see her boyfriend and he covered for her... well, he couldn't blame her for ditching him for better company.

However, the place should at least look nice when she got there - more than likely their father was going to interrogate her for info on what the place looked like after all.

The food was in the over cooking as he looked up at the clock, wondering just where his sister might be. He debated calling her, but figured she might have just missed one bus and had to grab the next one.

musebysentence 24.2: Window [locked from family]

2009-10-26T01:28:49Z

No one said that being a Winchester was going to be easy; but as he sat in the hospital window and looked out over the city as he tried to get his mind back together, Ben was starting to realize that there were days he missed being just a Braeden.

Birthday Boy is Excited

2009-10-11T05:21:29Z

So today is totally my birthday and I turn ten! Double digits man! And my party is totally at Bob's Fun World!!! Go carts and mini golf and rides.

Seriously, this is going to be epic.

charloft: Wealth [locked from family and friends]

2009-10-08T03:59:20Z

Tonight, show us wealth. Please keep in mind that wealth can take many forms, so don't feel limited to any one definition of the word. Bonus: Tell us how you came by your fortune..or how you lost it.

We've always been well off. Even after the Pulse, my mom never really seemed to struggle for anything. Sure, we moved around a bit, but I never had a cold night or an empty stomach in my life until she died. Technically, I never really have even now because I have friends and family that take care of me.

However, when I went back home to empty a lock box that my mother had, I got a few surprises. The biggest was the letter that confirmed what my mother had told me about Dean being my father. But there was more.

My grandparents were investors when they were young adults. Apparently they had taken stock in technologies like Apple and Microsoft back when they first appeared. When they died... Mom was their only child, so they vested the stocks to her with the stipulation that they continue onto me in the event of her death.

I'm not going to tell you how many there were, but let's just say I'm never going to hurt for money.

But that was just the beginning of that. There also was a trust fund my grands set up for me. It was supposed to be a birthday present for my 21st birthday with enough money to get my own place to live. That's currently what I'm living on, and it's mostly gone now after footing a few hospital bills. Then there's the fund my mother set up for me for college, which I dipped into for my first year at Stanford. I guess that'll last me another year or two on the road.

My mother's life insurance policy is sitting in a high yield bank fund. I think it's up to a hundred grand by now. I've got an accountant in Indiana really who takes care of all this.

OH, and then there's a set of numbers to a Scotland bank locker that I've got no idea what's there. Apparently the letter from my grandpa talks about his uncle who was an Irishman in Boston that had a "respectable" job. He disowned his children and gave his account to the only member of the family he didn't hate. Though I need to actually go to Scotland to get the contents in the box, so who knows what's inside.

Yeah, so I'm the definition of loaded, and at 23. However, I haven't exactly told my family that. My dad knows I have some money, as does my girlfriend, but they don't know numbers. It's not that important to me.

The money is just a means to living. Real wealth doesn't come in numbers. It comes with friends and family. They are the ones that are worth more than gold, and I'd give up everything for them if I had to.

musebysentence14.7. Sweet dreams

2009-09-01T04:23:30Z

As the days passed, the feeling that the life he was living now was just a sweet dream ended, and he began to believe that the world he had known and thought was real before was instead just a nightmare that was slowly fading away.

RP for hel_hathnofury

2009-08-24T00:00:26Z

Ben pushed himself out from under the Corvette and wiped his hands on his pants. It had been fairly easy to get the parts that he needed to fix Haley's car, it was just the negotiating of the price and then the time to install the pieces that took him so long.

It had been almost two weeks since they had gotten the car, and except for a few voice mails he had left about the car status, he hadn't actually followed up on the whole calling her for a date. Part of which was that he was busy trying to fix her car.

The other part was that he was nervous about doing it. It has been a long time since he had really gone out on a date with a girl, especially one as hot as Haley. And now that he had waited so long, he had probably blown his chances.

But the car was done and so he had to call her and let her know. So he pulled out his cell phone as he walked to the office, dialing her number and hoping that Mitch wasn't around to make another comment about why he hadn't called her yet.

justprompts: Pencil Full of Lead by Paolo Nutini

2009-08-23T06:10:19Z

Best of all
I've got my baby
She's mighty fine and says she's all mine
And nothing's going to bring me down
Not today, no, no

The soft sounds Anna made in her sleep woke Ben up sometimes. He didn't mind waking up - who would having a beautiful woman in their arms? In fact, it was those moments he was able to just take a step back and realize how lucky he was.

His hand ran down along her arm, then around her waist and pulled her closer to him. The rest of his family was asleep after the surprise birthday party they had thrown for him, so there was no one to disturb them. No one to hear as he pressed his bare chest against her bare back and kissed her neck.

She made a happy noise and he smiled, nuzzling closer. So much in his life had happened, and still she was here at his side. The one person he knew beyond his family that he could count on.

Ben also knew that without her, he'd be lost. Everything else could fall apart around him and as long as she was there, he could be ok. It had happened before and she helped him survive. But that was a long time ago now and things were better.

"I wish I could tell you how much I love you," he whispered into her ear, keeping her close. "Things I want to say to you... so many things... but I know you'll bolt if I do. And I don't want to lose you."

He licked his lips, resting his head against hers. In his head, he had dreams of marriage and a home, one day a kid or two that would be able to wear their granddad out so he would have to retire from hunting so he could live longer and see them grow up. Hell, his mom was younger than he is now when she had him all of 23 years ago.

Ben knew there was more to life than just doing the family thing. There was so much of the world he had yet to see. And Anna... he didn't see her as being one to settle down until she saw a good portion of it.

He'd show her that world. He'd give her whatever she wanted and not even ask for anything in return beyond what she already gave him.

"mmnn, Ben?" Anna turned a bit towards him, her eyes blinking awake just a bit.

"It's alright, go back to sleep," he nuzzled against her neck, kissing her shoulder.

"oh kay..." She wiggled against him a bit and kissed his arm before going back to sleep. Ben smiled, then curled back up.

"I love you," her whispered again into her hair, closing his eyes as he went back to sleep.

"...love you too..."

justprompts: What People Don't Know Could Fill a Hat

2009-08-06T19:20:54Z

What's something people may not know about you?

I'm Fine.

It's one of the phrases Ben uses all the time. How you doing, kid? Everything alright? How's school? Whatever the question was, Ben always had the same answer. It slid off his tongue easily and the quick smile and flash of eyes, change of subject and people believed him.

But Ben wasn't fine, and as he sat alone in his dorm room, far from his family and Anna, he was starting to realize that himself. He had hoped that these feelings were residual emotions that Meg had left in him, but now he was starting to doubt it.

He couldn't explain it. It was like a track in his head that just kept repeating and he didn't know how to make it stop some nights. He hugged his pillow to his face, trying to drown out his own thoughts.

You're worthless. No one wants you, Ben. You're not special. You're just the normal kid that can take care of himself. Why should anyone be worried about you? Why should they be bothered to care?

You wanted this. You wanted to go to school. Wanted to be normal and not be involved. You really didn't think they would let you, did you? It was just a way to get attention. You wanted Dean to pay attention to you. Why do you need his approval? Why should you care?

You ever think that maybe you're not the center of his world? Why should you be? You're not Sam - you could never be even if you tried. You'd be lucky if you ended up anywhere near being as strong of a person as him. And Alec - he's everything you aren't. Perfect soldier and broken warrior. Someone that follows Dean the way he wants, and also gives him something to fix. Why else would Dean coddle him the way he does?

You're the "stable" one. I bet the demons laugh at that. A stable Winchester, right. They don't know the truth. No one knows it. You hide behind your smile and fast car and books when all you want is just to scream and wave your arms and beg someone to pay attention to you.

You're a chickenshit and you know it. All you have to do is say it. But you don't think you need to. Mom always knew what you needed and served it to you on a platter. And you got her killed, didn't you little boy? Then your daddy... remember the blood on your hands. He could have known earlier, but he didn't feel he had to worry about you.

No one worries about you. You're always fine, right? Nothing's wrong. No one sees that just perhaps you might be as broken as the rest. Your powers are fixed but there are still things you can't figure out and it's going to slowly drive you crazy.

Crazy Ben. Didn't Alec say the other Ben went crazy? Maybe it does run in the bloodline.

The demons aren't going to stay away forever, Ben. They are just waiting. Waiting to strike and you're the weakest link. They are going to come hard and fast and after you and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Then they are going to break you...

You want that, don't you? Want the demons to come and hurt you so that someone will pay attention to you - and you'd like it. You see it in yours head, don't you? Chained up against the wall, beaten near death and just waiting for the moment that your daddy would come bursting through the doors to save you. To know he's been hunting for you. Worried. You want him to worry about you like he worries about Sam and Alec.

Why can't you just be normal and enjoy the good life you have right now? Why are you trying to destroy it? Are you really that much in need of attention that you would throw it all away?

You're weak and worthless. No one wants you, Ben. You're not special...

There was a knock on the door and Ben sat up in bed just as his door opened. His roommates stood in the doorway, drunken grins on their face. "Hey, Ben... there's a kegger across the hall! Get out of bed and join in!"

Ben looked at them and shook his head, smiling a bit. "Nah, I'm fine. You guys go have fun though."

"Suit yerself!" They laughed and closed his door, letting the darkness creep back into the room and surround the Winchester son. He stood up and turned on the nightlight to get a bit of a glow in the room, then stretched back out on the bed and looked at the ceiling.

"I'm fine..." he said softly to himself, taking a deep breath and trying to shut the voices up in his head. "I'm fine..."

musesandlyrics

2009-07-29T21:01:59Z

ooc: takes place in where_youfindme. Ben is age 4.

"You can cry, ain't no shame in it."
Will Smith

Ben had been excited all day for his first ever t-ball game. Daddy was sitting in the stands, watching him with a big smile on his face. They had been playing catch for weeks so Ben could be ready for this day. He was so ready to kick some butt!

He wanted to be a pitcher, but Mr. Robinson said that in T-Ball there wasn't a pitcher, and he would have to wait until he was in Little League. So instead he had second base.

Duncan was not really a nice kid on the team and Ben didn't like to play with him. But Daddy had said he needed to be nice and play with Duncan even if he was a poopy head. When it was Duncan's turn to bat, Ben was ready to catch the ball and get him out.

However, as Duncan hit the ball and started to run, he didn't drop the bat. Ben got the ball and was going to tag him out when Duncan swung the bat and the plastic bat went across Ben's face. People were yelling and Ben couldn't see because his face was hurting, but he knew the second that his Daddy's arms were around him and he curled up against his chest.

It was only when Daddy showed up did Ben start to cry too. He wasn't going to let anyone else see him cry because only babies cried. But Daddy didn't mind when Ben cried.

"I don't wanna... play nice anymore Daddy..." he sobbed, and swore that next time he got up to bat, he was gonna hit Duncan right back.