nine chances in my life

[EXO] one half of the earth; one half of my heart

2016-01-12T07:21:45Z

Title: one half of the earth; one half of my heart
Pairing(s): Yixing/Jongdae
Rating: PG
Word Count: 726
Summary: The world is getting smaller, they say, but Kim Jongdae would beg to differ. Not when there's forever stretched out between him and his beloved.
Author's Note: Loosely based on 孤单北半球 by 歐得洋.

When Jongdae had stumbled across the globe, there’d been something that had compelled him to buy it. He knew he wouldn’t get any use out of it, but he’d purchased it anyway. As it was, it was now sitting on his desk, serving no purpose whatsoever.

“Why do you keep spinning that thing?” Minseok asks, walking into the room to see Jongdae continuously spinning the globe. It wasn’t as though Jongdae could read it, since all the countries were written in English - “It looks prettier in English!” Jongdae had argued when Minseok asked him about the practicality of a globe he couldn’t read, and then the older had promptly given up - so it was, in Minseok’s point of view, a total waste of money.

Jongdae sighs, spinning the globe even more. “I don’t know,” He admits, sitting back in his chair even as one hand continued with his mindless spinning. “There was just an urge to buy it, you know?”

“No,” Minseok replies, practical as always. Jongdae resists the urge to stick his tongue out at Minseok. Of course the other had never given in to his urgings. For a person straight laced enough to use one vacuum for the floor and one to vacuum his bed, there was probably no chance of Minseok ever wanting to buy impractical things. Other than even more vacuum cleaners, of course.

Jongdae sighs again, not stopping even after Minseok collects all his shower stuff and disappears into the bathroom. The M dormitory is quiet, and Jongdae never would have thought he’d say this, but he misses the racket. He misses the soft padding of Zitao’s feet as he walks into the kitchen to get water, misses Luhan’s loud whining as Minseok denies him something yet again, misses Yifan’s yelling at everyone to shut up, misses Yixing--

Yixing…?

Yixing.

And therein lies the problem. Jongdae misses Yixing. He misses Yixing so much, because the bed in the other room is gathering dust in the room they used to share, beds pushed together despite their manager’s displeasure, cold feet and warm cuddles, Yixing’s head on his shoulder, Yixing’s fingers in his hair, Yixing’s arms around his waist, Yixing, Yixing, Yixing.

Jongdae stops, and he ponders. Sliding his phone out of his pocket, he looks through the messages that he sent to Yixing, that Yixing used to send back. It’s not as though their relationship has gone down the hill, but the latter’s been so busy that it’s difficult for him to even use his phone nowadays. Jongdae would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little put out by it, but he’d rather have a healthy, well rested Yixing who didn’t reply rather than a sleep deprived one who answered all his messages.

“ Ge ,” Jongdae records, his arm stretching out in front of him as he rests his head on it, unable to fully keep the sadness, the loneliness out of his voice. “ Ge , you’re okay, right? It’s winter now, so you need to keep warm and take care of yourself, all right?”

He releases the button and watches as the voice message loads and sends, across the ocean, across the distance that keeps him from Yixing. He thinks about it, then snaps a quick selfie in which he’s pouting and then sighs - he’s doing that a lot - and puts his phone away.

Yixing won’t reply soon, if he even does at all, but Jongdae at least knows that he’s reading them. He drags himself out of his chair as Minseok pads back into the room, telling him to shower.

He’ll mope a little more after he’s clean.

“Give me one too~ Give Benny one too~”

Yixing looks over to his phone as the telltale voice of Jongdae rings from the device. He smiles, picks it up, and listens to the message. He laughs, as the phone rings again with Jongdae’s aegyo - Yixing won’t tell anyone that he found the audio clip online and set it as his Kakao ringtone, but it’s not like it’s a big secret anyways - and he’s greeted with Jongdae’s pouting face.

“Yes,” He chuckles to himself. “I’m taking care of myself.”

He slides the phone back into his pocket and smiles. There are some things that are better told in person, Yixing thinks, as he shoulders his bag and boards the plane back to Seoul.

[EXO] (help me) take off the mask

2016-01-12T07:10:05Z

Title: (help me) take off the mask
Pairing(s): Junmyeon/Jongdae
Rating: PG-15
Word Count: 3,122
Warnings: minor character death
Summary: There is a difference between Kim Junmyeon and Suho.

There is a difference between Kim Junmyeon and Suho.

The former is the second son of the Kim family. Junmyeon is a gentle person, always smiling, always caring. There’s a rumour that he even brings around a first aid kit wherever he goes because he’s always ready to help people, especially his friends. That there are two people in particular that Junmyeon often help patch up: Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun, Junmyeon’s closest friends, who are so clumsy that they always trip over their own two feet and fall on their faces.

The latter is the head of EXO, Seoul’s largest mafia group. Suho is a strict man, always silent, always glaring. There’s a rumour that he brings a handgun wherever he goes, regardless of how many bodyguards he has with him because he’s always being targeted by his rivals. That he’s always on his toes, regardless of how good D.O. and Kai, the best and the most loyal (almost to a fault) assassins Suho has under his organization, are.

There is a difference between Kim Junmyeon and Suho, yes, but it doesn’t mean that both accounts are false.

“There he goes again,” Baekhyun says, sitting on Jongdae’s desk, gesturing. Jongdae’s head snaps up so fast that Baekhyun winces, and there’s a dreamy sigh. Said dreamy sigh is something that Baekhyun is very familiar with, since Jongdae pulls it out every single time he sees Kim Junmyeon walk past his desk with a smile.

Who is Kim Junmyeon, you ask? Kim Junmyeon is Jongdae’s boss, and is the most mesmerizing man to ever walk the planet.

Baekhyun would beg to differ, but it wasn’t like Jongdae cared about Baekhyun’s opinions when it came to Junmyeon.

“How does he not care that you’re not doing your job at all?” Jongdae asks, jolting Baekhyun out of his reverie. “Every time he comes back to the office, you’re just here, sitting on my desk. You never do anything.”

Baekhyun laughs. “I’m just that efficient. No matter what I get up to, all his reports are always on his desk before he needs them. Unlike some people I could mention.”

Jongdae huffs, and turns back to his screen, furiously jabbing at his keyboard because he has yet to finish the report that Junmyeon had assigned to him.

He’s really too adorable for his own good, Baekhyun thinks. Naïve, as well. It’s technically not Jongdae’s fault at all, but sometimes Baekhyun feels a stab of guilt that he’s lying to Jongdae. That he’s been lying about everything.

See, the reason why Baekhyun gets away with not working during office hours is because he’s not actually hired to do office work. Sure, he has a desk – as does Chanyeol, who always sits at his desk pretending to do work when in reality he’s just playing Bejeweled again – and he has everything he needs to keep the pretense up, but Baekhyun isn’t exactly there to type up reports or give out presentations.

Baekhyun is there because he has to protect Kim Junmyeon. Because Kim Junmyeon, the smiling Adonis that Jongdae likes to fawn over is also the head of the mafia that Baekhyun is under. EXO is feared throughout South Korea, has connections that reach to China, and all the way to Canada, even. It would make sense then, that Kim Junmyeon, that Suho, is a target for many other rival organisations and needs Baekhyun’s protection. Chanyeol is there for exactly the same reason.

The thing is, Jongdae has no idea. Jongdae, as one of Junmyeon’s three secretaries – Chanyeol and Baekhyun masquerades as the other two since it allows them to sit right outside of their boss’ office – is the only one who actually does any work at all, since Baekhyun’s terrible with words and Chanyeol’s language skills are absolutely abysmal. They’re all the same age, and it’s this common factor that has struck up a friendship between them that is potentially dangerous for Jongdae.

Baekhyun likes to think that Jongdae has gotten over the strange quirks that comes with the office. Jongdae, for one, is never seen outside with Chanyeol and Baekhyun, much less Junmyeon. Baekhyun has seen the look of disappointment that crosses Jongdae’s face when his invitations to lunch – sometimes extended to Junmyeon as well, blushing and tentative – were turned down. Baekhyun hadn’t wanted to say no, and neither had Chanyeol – although who knew what Junmyeon was thinking half the time – but it had been for Jongdae’s own safety, clichéd as it was.

Baekhyun had passed the message along to Junmyeon, sitting on his boss’ desk, feet kicking the air. Junmyeon was lenient when he was Junmyeon, not Suho, and Baekhyun had taken full advantage of the fact. It’d taken a small glance at his secretary, and Junmyeon had decided that lunch would be delivered everyday to their office, and they’d have it together at the giant table in Junmyeon’s office that served no purpose other than this one.

Rich people, honestly.

Baekhyun sighs, bouncing over to the other side of the office to bother Chanyeol, since Jongdae is busy doing actual work, and sits himself in Chanyeol’s lap. Jongdae looks up to give them an expression of disgust, which Baekhyun retaliates by pressing a filthy kiss to Chanyeol’s lips. Jongdae shudders, attention back on his screen, and Baekhyun laughs.

“Chanyeol,” Baekhyun muses, pointing at Chanyeol’s screen to tell him which jewels to swap. His voice is quiet enough that it doesn’t carry, but Chanyeol hums his acknowledgement. “Do you ever feel bad about lying to Jongdae?”

Chanyeol pauses in his game and looks up at Jongdae, whose brow is furrowed as he continues to type out his report. He sighs and rests his chin on Baekhyun’s shoulder so that he can murmur his reply – Chanyeol’s not very good at being soft, but he makes do – into Baekhyun’s ear. “Sometimes,” he replies. “But it’s better than him getting into what we’re really doing here, isn’t it? We’re trained for this. He’d get himself killed in a matter of seconds.”

Baekhyun bites his lip as he considers Chanyeol’s words. His partner – partner in every sense of the word – isn’t wrong. Jongdae isn’t suited for a life in the mafia. He’s too innocent, too soft. He wouldn’t last a second in the life they had chosen. Perhaps, Baekhyun thinks, it’s a good thing that they will never truly be friends outside the office, no matter how much fun they have together inside of it.

It’s for Jongdae’s own good.

“It’s time for lunch,” Baekhyun sings, leaping out of Chanyeol’s lap and grabbing his hand. He tugs Chanyeol over to Jongdae’s desk even as his boyfriend whines about leaving his game and pouts at Jongdae until the other sighs and relents.

On cue, their lunch arrives. Jongdae knows Kyungsoo as “the delivery boy”, and likes to play around with him and teasingly call Kyungsoo his “saviour”. Chanyeol and Baekhyun know Kyungsoo as D.O., one of Junmyeon’s most trusted assassins and one of the - if not the most - capable.

It’s a mark of how adorable Jongdae is - or, you know, how much Junmyeon adores Jongdae - that Kyungsoo puts up with Jongdae’s cooing and giggling. It probably wouldn’t be in the assassin’s best interests if he were to let his temper flare and ‘accidentally’ put a bullet into Jongdae’s chest.

Kyungsoo disappears into Junmyeon’s office first, placing the food and laying the table. Junmyeon hardly looks up from his screen, and it’s only when Jongdae enters the room as well that Junmyeon tears his eyes away from the computer to smile at them. Well, Baekhyun knows he’s smiling at Jongdae. It’s always been Jongdae.

Baekhyun isn't jealous, because, well, this is Junmyeon they’re talking about. While Baekhyun appreciates and respects his leader, there is a difference between respect and the utter adoration that Junmyeon is directing at Jongdae, and it’s definitely not something Baekhyun wants to receive from his boss. Plus, he has seen the transformation between Junmyeon and Suho, and frankly, it’s terrifying.

Baekhyun hopes against hope that Jongdae will never have meet Suho.

“Hello, Jongdae,” Junmyeon greets, standing up and moving towards the table, where the food is being laid out. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” Jongdae replies, smiling bashfully at Junmyeon.

Baekhyun grumbles under his breath, sitting down as well. Junmyeon never asked him things like that. It's not as though Baekhyun wants it, but it is the principle of the thing, you know? Don’t ask him what ‘the thing’ is, because he wouldn’t be able to answer you.

“Ah!” Jongdae cheers when he opens the plastic container that contains his lunch. “Chicken!”

Junmyeon blinks up at Jongdae from where he had opened his own container. Junmyeon isn't very much into fried chicken, since he’s a health nut and the only chicken that he eats are bland, boiled chicken breasts. No one knows how he gets by with only that for protein, but it's evident that Kyungsoo has decided to take matters into his own hands by buying them disgustingly unhealthy, greasy, amazing fried chicken.

Thank the heavens for Do Kyungsoo.

“You like chicken?” Junmyeon asks.

Jongdae nods happily, already tearing into a drumstick. He looks utterly adorable, something even Chanyeol has to admit. Although, Chanyeol’s as smitten with Jongdae as they rest are, so it's not as though it was a very big deal. “I don’t have it very often, but it’s my favourite!”

The gears are working in Junmyeon’s head, Baekhyun could tell. There's something infinitely satisfying about pleasing Jongdae to the older man, and while it might the younger in danger, it's not as though they’re doing it in public, so it should be fine.

Right?

Right.

“We can have it more often for lunch, if you’d like,” Junmyeon mused, turning to Kyungsoo, who nods, his face still straight. Junmyeon smiles at his assistant, evidently satisfied, and turns back to his meal.

Kyungsoo moves towards the door, then, when he was just about to leave, he turns around and utters, “Maple syrup’s arrived.”

Junmyeon, Baekhyun and Chanyeol all perk up, Junmyeon giving Kyungsoo another nod. Junmyeon jerks his head at the other two, and they nod as well.

Maple syrup’s arrived, huh?

Well, at least they’d have lunch first.

“It’s rare for you to come all the way here without any prior warning,” Suho says, walking into his office. He moves past the guest sitting on the couch, his long legs draping over the armrest as he flips through a magazine.

Maple syrup, which is what the Seoul branch of EXO calls the leader of the Canadian Branch, or, Kris, sits up straight and throws the magazine onto the table. “Remember Henry?”

Suho laughs, sitting at his desk. “How could I forget?”

“We traced him from Canada,” Kris informs, looking utterly bored, as though he were a simple messenger and not a regional leader of EXO. “He’s here, in Seoul. We think he’s trying to find his teammates again.”

“Amber?” Suho tilts his head. “We took her out some time ago. The entire f(x) is down; We made sure of that.”

“I don’t know who he wants, Suho,” Kris shoots back, but Suho remains unflinching. “But he wants someone. It’s your job to find out who it is.”

With that, he swings his ridiculously long legs over the couch and walks out.

“Asshole,” Suho seethes, glaring at his door as it slams behind the taller man.

There's a giggle and Suho sighs. “Get out here, Lay.”

The agent slides out of the shadows, amused smile still on his face, as it always is. While Suho knows Lay personally - outside of EXO, at the very least - the leader of the China base does not normally come to Seoul. The gathering of leaders is something that happens very rarely, and for two of them to show up unannounced is dangerous.

“You’re being too riled up by Kris,” Lay comments, sliding onto the desk in front of Suho. His legs swings freely, leaning down to tug on Suho’s tie, smiling enigmatically. “You’re usually not strung this tight.”

Suho shakes his head, leaning back, tugging his tie out of Lay’s reach. Lay raises an eyebrow, his smile disappearing. Suho has never reacted like this, always willing to go along with Lay, willing to tease in return.

“You’ve found someone,” Lay deduces, leaning his weight onto one hand behind him. His eyes are piercing, the normal smile that he wears now nowhere to be found. “Who is it, Suho?”

Silence.

“They’re not from EXO, are they?” Lay hisses, eyes flashing. “Suho, you know how dangerous our line of work is. You know the amount of danger that you’re putting not only him, but also yourself in.”

“We’re not together,” Suho shoots back, his anger mirroring Lay’s. “We aren’t--”

The door slams open.

“What?!” Suho snarls at his subordinate, but Baekhyun’s eyes are serious, laced with panic, and that catches Suho’s attention.

“Kai managed to track Henry down,” Baekhyun informs, his entire stance tense and wired to go. “He’s targeting Chen.”

Suho bolts.

Jongdae is terrified.

He’d been walking home from meeting Minseok when he’d felt the telltale prickling on the back of his neck that tells him that someone is staring at him, following him. Instinct tells him to run, but fear paralyzes Jongdae. Why would someone be following him? It isn't as though he is anyone of importance, and the clothes that he's wearing doesn't exactly scream expensive. He works as a secretary, for god’s sake.

He keeps walking, slowly, his limbs almost frozen stiff. It's difficult to move, difficult to get himself to safety. He knows that he's in danger, but he doesn't know how to get himself out of it. He tries to speed up, hastening.

“Don’t move.”

Jongdae freezes.

The voice is entirely unfamiliar, and Jongdae knows that this isn't a prank on him, the way he would have expected on any other day.

“Are you Kim Jongdae?”

Jongdae remains silent, too afraid to say anything. A blade presses to his neck, the metal cold, harsh and terrifying.

“Are you Kim Jongdae?”

“Y-Yes.”

A scoff, and Jongdae wants to weep. While he isn't normally a coward, there's a difference between being unafraid of ghosts and being afraid when someone is holding a knife to your throat and threatening your life.

“Wonder what he sees in a scrawny rat like you.”

Scrawny rat?

“It’s nice to see you again, Henry.”

That voice sounds familiar.

Henry turns, raising an eyebrow at the man who is standing at the end of the alleyway, his face stern and so very, very different from what Jongdae is used to.

“Chanyeol?” Jongdae questions, stiffening. The Chanyeol that he knows is all silly smiles and goofy grins, happy hugs and two left feet. This Chanyeol is different, the confidence in his body line and the danger that is hidden under his skin so foreign to Jongdae.

“Hey, Jongdae.”

“Chanyeol, wh-what’s going on?”

“Shut up,” Henry hisses, pressing the blade even harder against Jongdae’s throat, drawing blood. “Who said you could talk?”

“Oh, dear,” Chanyeol says, as though he isn't looking at Jongdae under the threat of death. “He’s not going to be happy.”

“That’s the whole point, isn’t it?” Henry snarls. “To take away from him the most important person in his life. Never thought that it’d be this little rat here, but hey, he’s always had shitty taste in everything.”

“Talk about him like that again,” a voice came, and Jongdae startles enough that the knife nicks further into him, blood dripping down. “Not that you’ll ever have the chance to do so again.”

The knife is abruptly wrenched away from Jongdae’s neck, and his attacker is flung to the floor. Jongdae quickly flattens himself to the wall, one hand pressing against his wound and his eyes wide, staring at his saviour.

“Junmyeon?”

A figure enters his line of vision, and the usually smiling face of Baekhyun is now etched with concern. Is everyone in his office part of this?

“Junmyeon?” Jongdae calls again, his eyebrows furrowing in worry as he lunges, and a flash of metal catches Jongdae’s eye before he screams and clamped his eyes shut.

“Shh,” he hears Baekhyun says soothingly, moving to hug Jongdae as he shakes his head fervently. “It’s okay, it’ll be okay, Jongdae.”

Jongdae blinks awake, turning in confusion, eyes unable to open fully with how bright it is, wherever this is.

“You’re awake,” comes a soft voice that has Jongdae instinctively curling in on himself. He whimpers, trying to shift away. “Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

“You’re scaring him, Junmyeon.”

“He--”

“You were Suho last night, Junmyeon. Give him some space.”

Jongdae’s eyes are now adjusted enough to the light to finally look at the man sitting at his bedside, eyes worried and laced with anger. “Junmyeon?”

Junmyeon turns to look at his secretary, his subordinate, his most important person. “Hello, Jongdae,” he says softly, as though Jongdae is a small animal and Junmyeon is trying not to scare him. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes,” Jongdae replies, breathing slowly. This is Junmyeon. This is the Junmyeon that is kind and caring and gentle, not… Not what he’d seen yesterday. “You-- Last night.”

“You were targeted by a rival organisation of ours,” Baekhyun informs from where he’s sitting on the couch further away from the bed. “We’re--”

“Baekhyun!”

“He has to know,” Baekhyun shoots back. “We’re members of EXO, Jongdae. Mafia. Junmyeon is Suho, the leader of the Seoul branch, and Chanyeol and I work under him.”

“So you’ve-- You’ve killed people,” Jongdae says, comprehension dawning, eyes widening in horror. “The guy from last night. You--”

“He targeted you because you’re important to me, Jongdae,” Junmyeon states solemnly, hand twitching as though he wants to hold onto Jongdae’s hand. “I can’t let anyone else know of your existence, much less have the information that you’re important to me be spread.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Jongdae shakes his head, tugging his hand back so Junmyeon can’t reach it and swallowing. “I can’t. Please, I need time alone, I can’t--”

“Okay,” Junmyeon says, standing up, but the sadness in his eyes is impossible for Jongdae to ignore. “We’ll leave you, then.”

Jongdae watches as the three of them walks out, and he cries.

“You have a guest, Mr. Kim,” Junmyeon’s new secretary, Sehun informs. “Should I send them in? They don’t have an appointment.”

Junmyeon raises an eyebrow, but waves a hand anyway, his other hand creeping down under his desk to close around the gun he has strapped beneath it. It turns out that he doesn't need it after all, because the one who walks into the room takes his breath away, without any use of firearms.

“Jongdae?”

“Junmyeon.”

[EXO] with you (i can do anything)

2015-11-30T07:24:19Z

Title: with you (i can do anything)
Pairing(s): Junmyeon/Jongdae
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,423
Warnings: mpreg, mentions of former members
Summary: Jongdae realizes that life doesn’t always go the way that you want it to go, but decides that if he’s with Junmyeon, he’ll always be okay.

"Jongdae," Junmyeon said, sitting on the bed next to his husband. "Please, please go visit the doctor. You keep saying that you're okay, but you haven't eaten much for the past week."

Jongdae sighed. He knew that Junmyeon was probably right - he normally was, after all - and that he should go visit the doctor. The thing was, he really, really hated it. He'd had a dislike for doctors ever since he was younger and his family doctor had pushed the stick - what was that stick even called? - too far down his throat and he'd gagged. It wasn't a memory that Jongdae liked to relive.

The problem was that Junmyeon knew this. Junmyeon knew how much he disliked doctor's appointments, making the whole incident more serious. Junmyeon wouldn't push him to do things that he didn't like unless it was important. The fact that Junmyeon was asking for Jongdae to visit the doctor meant that he really was worse for wear. Jongdae liked to dragged things on and on, mostly because he could. Junmyeon usually got strung along, but there were times where his husband would put his foot down.

Now was one of those occasions.

"Okay," Jongdae gave in. He didn't like to see Junmyeon so worried all the time. The frown that he was wearing didn't suit him. Jongdae reached up to gently smooth the wrinkle between Junmyeon's brows away, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. “But only so that you’ll stop worrying about me. You haven’t eaten much recently, have you?”

Junmyeon leaned into the touch, hand coming up to grasp Jongdae’s hand in his own and press a kiss to the center of his palm. Jongdae smiled at the gesture, eyes softening. “How could I?” Junmyeon asked. “You’ve had me sick with worry.”

“Was that a pun, Mr. Kim?” Jongdae teased, then turned serious. “Junmyeon, just because I haven’t been eating doesn’t mean you have to do the same, you know. I worry about you, too.”

“Now you know how I feel,” Came the huff. Jongdae laughed, leaning into his husband even more. “Promise me you’ll go see the doctor soon?”

Jongdae smiled. “Promise.”

Despite that, Jongdae doesn’t actually visit the doctor. It wasn’t a secret that the both of them were having a hard time, especially with monetary problems. Junmyeon’s parents had disowned him when he decided to make his relationship with Jongdae public, and Jongdae hadn’t seen his family in a long, long time.

Jongdae didn’t like to talk about it.

He continued to go to work as per normal, evading questions from Junmyeon about the visit to the doctor’s with almost professional precision. He knew how Junmyeon thought, and he always managed to avoid the prodding from his husband, gaining him at least one more day. It wouldn’t do to spend unnecessary money, after all. It was probably just a flu that would pass soon.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t only Junmyeon who seemed to think that he needed to make an appointment for a doctor’s visit, and that in itself annoyed Jongdae, but also made him think. Did he look that unwell?

“Jongdae,” Luhan, Jongdae’s superior had called him into his office. “Are you okay? You’ve been really pale lately, and the workload seems to be taking a toll on you. Have you been eating properly?”

Luhan was Jongdae’s superior, yes, but he was, first and foremost, Jongdae’s friend. Luhan had been his senior back in high school, the one who taught him Mandarin when he’d been failing his second language classes. He’d been Jongdae’s first crush, something that Junmyeon liked to grumble about a lot of the time, but that was a thing of the past. Plus, Luhan was already with someone else, now.

Jongdae slumped down onto the desk, Luhan’s fingers gently carding through his hair. It was a soothing gesture. While one that Luhan would normally not permit in the office, it seemed that Jongdae really did look worse than he’d originally thought.

“I’ve been nauseous for the past week or so, and it’s doing something to my appetite. Junmyeon keeps pushing me to go visit the doctor’s, but you know how things are currently, and I just-“ Jongdae cut himself off here, knowing Luhan already knew about their predicament. “I can’t afford it,” He finished off, voice so low he was almost whispering.

Luhan sighed, standing up to make a cup of tea for Jongdae, at least. He knew that the other’s pride wouldn’t let him accept any help, even if Luhan were to offer it. He’d been with Jongdae for a long time, even longer than he had been with Junmyeon, and he knew Jongdae, knew that he wouldn’t do anything about it until he started to break down.

It had always been one of Jongdae’s weaknesses.

“Drink,” Luhan said, and Jongdae blinked up at him. “Drink, you stubborn child. I know you won’t let me pay for the doctor’s visit even if I drag you there physically, so this is the least that I can do. And please, Jongdae,” Here, Luhan’s eyes softened in worry. “Please eat.”

Jongdae accepted the mug with both hands, looking down at it, then took a tentative sip. Warmth spread through his being, because of the tea but also because of Luhan’s concern. Luhan always liked to wear a strict mask, but he always took care of Jongdae, no matter what.

“I will,” Jongdae replied, continuing to take sips from the mug.

It wasn’t that Jongdae liked lying to Junmyeon. He hated it, in fact. It was no secret that Junmyeon detested liars, and Jongdae did not want to become one and be on the receiving end of Junmyeon’s wrath. He wasn’t lying, per se, Jongdae thought to himself. He’d promised Junmyeon that he would go to the doctor’s, he just hadn’t specified when he was going to go. He was just putting it off a little bit.

Jongdae rather thought that he’d put it off for a little bit too long when he felt his legs lose their energy and his knees buckled. There were suddenly too many dark spots in his vision, and he couldn’t keep himself up.

He could hear voices, some familiar, some not. Luhan’s voice was the easiest to recognize, shouting at someone to call for an ambulance. No, Jongdae wanted to protest. I can’t afford the hospital fees. But as it was, he was helpless, unable to speak, unable to even keep his eyes open.

“It’ll be okay,” A warm voice echoed in his mind, one that Jongdae vaguely recognized as Minseok’s, his co-worker. “Jongdae-ah, just calm down. Go to sleep. It’ll be okay.”

It’ll be okay, Jongdae thought, trusting in Minseok. Minseok wasn’t a very talkative person, but Jongdae knew how trustworthy he was. I’ll be okay.

Jongdae closed his eyes, and dreamt.

When he woke up, the first person that Jongdae saw was Junmyeon. The other was by his side, fingers interlinked with his, holding his hand even while he slept on the chair next to his bed. There was no way that it was comfortable, and judging my Junmyeon’s expression, he wasn’t sleeping that well, either.

The IV in his arm was uncomfortable, but Jongdae took no notice of the drip. He had landed himself in the hospital. There was no way that he was going to be able to pay for this, no way that he and Junmyeon could afford the hospital fees without having to live on ramyeon for a month or more, at least.

“Junmyeon,” Jongdae whispered, squeezing the hand that still held his, even in his sleep. What would he do without his husband, honestly? The one who stood by him no matter what happened, the one who constantly worried about him because Jongdae was a prideful person. “Junmyeon, wake up. Come on, love, sleep in the bed with me.”

Bleary eyes blinked open and stared at Jongdae, a little confused. Jongdae smiled sheepishly and attempted to tug Junmyeon into bed. His efforts were met with a frown, and Jongdae knew that he was in trouble.

Junmyeon shook his head, as though trying to physically shake the sleep out of his eyes. He was still frowning, the crease between his eyebrows getting deeper the more awake he became. Jongdae knew that he was going to be reprimanded, and he braced himself for the scolding.

“You lied to me,” Was what Junmyeon started with, and a wave of guilt surged through Jongdae, making his stomach drop. “You promised that you would visit the doctor. You didn’t, and now here we are. You fainted, Jongdae, you passed out and I got the call and I was so, so scared that something major had happened to you. Then Luhan told me that you hadn’t seen the doctor at all, and I panicked, because if anything had happened to you, then it would be my fault, because I should have been more firm, should have taken you to see the doctor myself when I knew how stubborn you were.”

Jongdae’s lips parted in guilt, watching Junmyeon berate himself for something that was entirely Jongdae’s fault. He shook his head, leaning forward to take Junmyeon’s hands into his, apologies falling from his lips. “It’s not your fault, Junmyeon,” Jongdae whispered, apologetic. “It’s not your fault, it never will be. I’m sorry for having lied to you; I won’t do it again, I’ll always listen to you from now on, Junmyeon, just please, please don’t blame yourself for this.”

“You’re in the hospital, Jongdae,” Junmyeon whispers. “It could’ve been serious; it could be serious.”

Jongdae wrapped his arms around Junmyeon, comforting. “I’m sorry, Junmyeon. I’m so, so sorry, but everything’s fine! I’m fine, I’m going to be fine, it’s just exhaustion, you’ll see.”

Junmyeon sighed shakily, bringing his arms up to wrap around Jongdae as well. He buried his face into Jongdae’s neck, the juncture between neck and shoulder his favourite spot. “Don’t ever scare me like that again, okay?”

“I promise,” Jongdae agreed. Never. He never wanted to see Junmyeon like that again, self-berating, afraid, his normally pale face white and ashen in his worry. “I won’t do it ever again.”

A smile crossed Junmyeon’s lips, allowing Jongdae to relax just a little bit. “I love you.”

“I love you too, husband.”

Of all the things that Jongdae had imagined for the doctor to inform him of – possible exhaustion, indigestion, lack of appetite caused by too much stress – congratulations had not been one of them.

But congratulations it was.

“It seems you’re a carrier, Mr. Kim,” The doctor, Wu Yifan, his nametag says, informs. “You’re already 7 weeks into your pregnancy.”

Jongdae’s eyes are so wide that he thinks that it’s a miracle that they’re still in his sockets, and Junmyeon’s jaw has decided that it doesn’t want to work anymore. He’d never known, he’d never been informed that he was a carrier, there was no history of it being in his family at all, and suddenly the news that he was a carrier, that he was pregnant hit him like a bullet train.

Dr. Wu smiled to himself, and left them with a soft murmur of “I’ll leave you two alone for a while.”

Jongdae inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down. He was shell-shocked, and Junmyeon didn’t seem any better. They’d never used protection, never having known that Jongdae was a carrier, and since they’d both tested negative and were each other’s first and only, there had never been any point.

“I’m pregnant,” Jongdae said out loud.

“You’re pregnant,” Junmyeon echoed.

Jongdae swallowed, eyes downcast. How were they going to get through this? They were struggling as it was, trying to keep the both of them afloat was hard enough, and with a child, a child that he was carrying would make everything worse. He wouldn’t be able to work in the last trimester, and he wouldn’t be able to return to work until he’d recovered. Maternity leave was insured for in their company, but Jongdae wasn’t exactly female.

“Hey,” Junmyeon called, using a gentle hand to lift Jongdae’s head, thumb brushing against his high cheekbone and palm cupping Jongdae’s cheek. Jongdae looked up at his husband, who was giving him a concerned look. “What’s wrong, Jongdae?”

“How are we going to afford this?” Jongdae whispered, blinking away that tears that were welling up in his eyes. “We’re already struggling as it is. We won’t be able to afford the hospital fees, we won’t be able to pay for everything that the child needs, we won’t-“

“Shh,” Junmyeon soothed, lightly pressing his forehead to Jongdae’s. “Calm down, love. We’ll be all right. I don’t know how we’re going to do it either, but we’re going to be okay. Calm down, and don’t stress yourself out, Jongdae.”

Jongdae swallowed, took a deep breath and nodded. It was going to be hard, but Jongdae trusted in Junmyeon. As it was, he was already pregnant, there was nothing he could do about that, and as he gently pressed a hand to his stomach, Jongdae was hit with a wall of warmth that blossomed in his chest at Junmyeon’s love.

The soft smile that spread across Junmyeon’s face was calming, and Jongdae leaned into his husband. “We’ll be okay?”

Junmyeon chuckled, nodding. “We’ll be okay.”

“Then stop crying,” Jongdae chided gently, his hand coming up to wipe the tears from Junmyeon’s cheeks that the latter didn’t even know were there. Junmyeon blinked in confusion at the wetness on his cheeks, and then he laughed, nuzzling into Jongdae.

“Sorry,” He apologized, and Jongdae pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Silly.”

“Papa!”

Junmyeon turned around at the call of his son, and crouched down with his arms spread for the little boy to barrel into. Junmyeon laughed and picked his son up, rubbing their noses together in an eskimo kiss that has his son squealing in delight.

“Dada!”

“Hey, Jongin,” Jongdae cooed at his son, pressing a soft kiss to the toddler’s forehead. “Missed me?”

“Yeah!” Jongin nodded, squirming in Junmyeon’s arms in an effort to get to Jongdae. “Missed you, Dada!”

“Yeah?” Jongdae asked again, laughing when Junmyeon comes up and wraps his arms around the both of them. “Did you miss Papa too?”

“I did, I did, I missed Dada and I missed Papa!”

Jongdae and Junmyeon laughed as Jongin hid his face in embarrassment, and just watching their child smile like this, just watching their child laugh like this, well.

It made everything worth it.

[EXO] the older brother i never thought i wanted (to love)

2015-11-30T07:16:17Z

Title: the older brother i never thought i wanted (to love)
Pairing(s): Jongdae/Zitao
Rating: NC17
Wordcount: 2677
Summary: Zitao had always wanted to become a kindergarten teacher. He loved his students, his students loved him. And he maybe, just maybe, loved his most adorable student’s older brother. Just maybe.

This was not where Zitao had thought he’d end up, when he first started teaching in a kindergarten. He’d thought that he would enjoy a peaceful - albeit stressful when he had to break up arguments between toddlers - life, playing about with children and generally enjoying his job. Not to say that he didn’t enjoy the situation he was currently in, but those were just technicalities.

And where was this? Well. This was up against his apartment door, hands trying to grab onto something for purchase while the most beautiful, devious, terrible human being was on his knees in front of him, lips wrapped around the tip of his cock, pressing his hips into the door so he didn’t have any leverage to fuck up into that mouth. This was trying not to come onto the bow of those kittenish lips, not to pull at those brown, artfully styled curls. This was torture and Zitao loved every second of it.

“Fuck-” He gasped, hands curling into fists, panting. There was nothing he could except lean back and take it, trying to stop his knees from buckling. It was good, so, so good, and Zitao wondered if this was heaven or hell. “Jongdae!”

Mischievous eyes peered up at him through their owner’s eyelashes, deceptively demure. The contrast of the innocence on his face and the vulgarity of his actions sent Zitao’s mind reeling, and he struggled not to blow his load into that sinful mouth.

Jongdae pulled off his cock, moaning in delight at the debauched image that Zitao offered. He smirked, tongue coming out to swipe against Zitao’s slit, earning himself a strangled gasp. He chuckled, kissing the tip, licking a broad swipe from the base of his cock up to the tip. “Zitao,” Jongdae purred, hand coming up to pump his cock. “Come for me. Come on me. All over me.”

Fuck.

“Tao!” Small feet patter across the room, and Zitao looked down just in time to see little Kim Jongin barrel into his leg. He laughed; This was a daily occurrence. For some reason, Jongin was really, really attached to him. Zitao didn’t know why, but the little boy clung to him like a limpet. It wasn’t as though he minded, since Jongin was a ball of sunshine.

“Good morning, Jongin.”

A frown made its way onto Jongin’s cherubic face, and Zitao laughed again. “Okay, okay, I get it. Nini, right?”

That brought the smile back onto Jongin’s face, adorable and happy and blindingly megawatt. Zitao waited as more children poured into the room, some clinging to their parents and some moving immediately towards the toys, or their friends. He watched as Sehun came to Jongin’s side the moment his mother waved goodbye to him, as little Yifan sat on the cushions by the window and stared forlornly at the image of his mother leaving in her car, as Minseok and Luhan curled into each other, yawning sleepily.

Jongin suddenly squealed, and Zitao smirked. There was only one person who could make Jongin react that way, and that was little Kyungsoo. The other boy was dangerously cute, his eyes large and expressive, lips in the shape of a heart, and the voice of an angel. Jongin evidently thought that he was the most amazing person on earth, given that he never dared to look him in the eye.

Sehun was there for a reason, and that was to act as Jongin’s shield against Kyungsoo.

Tao laughed, gently prying Jongin off his leg and ruffling his hair. "Okay, everyone, settle down."

At his words, Jongin snapped to attention, Sehun mirroring him. Minseok and Luhan uncurled themselves from each other, but linked their pinkies together. Yifan came up to them, pulled along by Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo came to stand next to Jongin, beaming at him, while Yifan stood awkwardly by himself until Luhan took his hand, too.

Zitao smiled. This was the reason he loved his job so much. While there weren't a lot of students, they always managed to make him break out into grins, even early in the mornings. "Good morning, everyone."

"Good morning, Tao!" Came the chorus.

"Now, you all know what to do for the first hour, right? Go ahead."

First hour was for the children to spend as they wished. The youngest three, Minseok, Luhan and Yifan, immediately padded over to the cushions and curled up to sleep again, Yifan snuggled in between the other two. Zitao pressed a quick kiss to each of their foreheads, to which they responded with sleepy smiles. It was nice to see Minseok and Luhan taking care of Yifan. While a few months older than the other two, Yifan was newer to the daycare, and had been wandering around alone for the past few days, occasionally clinging to Zitao.

Jongin and Sehun, mindful of their sleeping friends, took to the other corner of the daycare to turn on the radio. Jongin began to dance, face lighting up in happiness. Sehun sat down, watching Jongin. Zitao laughed, engaging Jongin in a short dance battle that he ended up losing to the toddler spectacularly. Sehun gave him the most unimpressed look, but Zitao mollified him with a cookie, passing one to Jongin, too.

"Tao hyung!" Kyungsoo said softly, tugging on Zitao's pant leg. "Read?"

Zitao smiled, bending down to scoop Kyungsoo into his arms. The boy giggled, burying his face into Zitao's neck. He carried him to the beanbags near the windows and sat down, letting Kyungsoo fidget until he found a comfortable position. Kyungsoo thrust a book at him expectantly, and Zitao opened it, beginning to read.

---

"And he gave me ice cream, even though Papa said I couldn't have it! He's the best big brother ever, Tao!"

Zitao laughed, one hand curled to hold Minseok's weight, the other guiding the cart that Jongin was helping to push. "Is he, now? I thought I was the best big brother ever."

Jongin gasped, eyes widening as though he'd never thought of this, then fell deep into thought, bottom lip jutting out adorably.

"Tao's the day big brother," Minseok offered, voice thick with sleep. He had his head in the crook between Zitao's neck and shoulder, his words slightly muffled. "Your hyung is the night big brother."

There was a pause in which Zitao marveled at how kid's logic worked, then Jongin's face lit up. "Thank you, Minseok!" He cheered, jumping in happiness. Minseok made a pleased sound, then thumped on Zitao's shoulder to be let down, hand making fists in Luhan and Yifan's direction.

Yifan reached out for Minseok, young face frowning in concentration. Minseok was small for his age, while Yifan was tall - taller than even Jongin. He handled Minseok's sleepy weight well, Luhan helping him, letting Minseok down lightly into his seat.

"And, and he sings really well, Tao!" Jongin continued now that Zitao had been relieved of Minseok. "He's the coolest even though he's always busy all the time, and I really, really love him!"

Jongin slowly passed out the bowls of soup, Sehun helping him since he was older. Sehun always seemed to shadow Jongin everywhere he went, something Zitao was a little worried about. He didn't seem to have any incentive to do things on his own. Zitao filed that away for future thought.

With his little helpers taking care of the other children, Zitao was left to think. This Kim Jongdae that Jongin always gushed about, the child's older brother, was an enigma in Zitao's mind. He'd never met said brother, but Zitao knew enough from Jongin's constant praising. Absentmindedly, he began passing out the cups of juice, noting with a smile Jongin giving the fullest cup to Kyungsoo, blushing.

"Hey, Nini," Zitao called, watching Jongin pad over to him, face expectant. He handed Jongin a pack of cookies to hand out to the others, ruffling his hair. "You know your Jongdae hyung?" Jongin nodded enthusiastically. "How could he be the best big brother if he's never even brought you to daycare?"

Never mind that he was manipulating a child just to see his older brother. Jongin's eyes widened again, then he frowned, pouting. "He will!" Jongin said, adamant. "I'll get Dae hyung to come!"

Sehun gave him a look that was entirely too out of place for a child his age, as though he knew exactly what Zitao was thinking. Zitao gave him another cookie.

“So you’re the one that my little brother’s been talking about every time I manage to come home.”

Zitao turned from where he had been waving goodbye to Yifan, the boy staring back after him with wide eyes even as his father tried to secure him down into the child seat of the car. The voice belonged to a slim man, his mouth curled at the edges, given him an almost feline look. Zitao could relate.

He was about to ask who the stranger was when there was a happy shout from behind him, and Jongin zoomed past him instead of into him. Zitao wondered for a moment whether or not the world was ending. “Hyung, hyung, Dae hyung!”

So this was the elusive Kim Jongdae. Zitao watched as he picked Jongin up, his movements a little stiff as though he wasn’t used to the motions, but he managed nevertheless. Jongin quickly cuddled into his brother, burying his face into the other’s neck. Zitao smiled at the sight; It was always adorable to see Jongin like this.

“And you’re the ‘best big brother ever’ that I’ve been hearing about, I presume?” Zitao returned, bending down to pick Sehun up when the boy tugged at his pant leg. Sehun snuffled, clearly put out by the way Jongin had run away from him so quickly upon seeing his older brother. Zitao moved his hand to Sehun’s head in a comforting gesture, and Sehun fidgeted.

Jongdae smirked, and Zitao was hit by a wave of oh my god he’s so attractive what the hell what is with this family and why are they all like this but quickly schooled his features into one of absolute politeness before Jongdae could see anything strange about his facial expression.

“Apparently,” Jongdae said, bouncing Jongin in his arms so that his weight didn’t drag the collar of his shirt down anymore than it was already doing. “My little baby brother, however, has been talking about someone else nowadays. It seems that that person is you.”

Zitao laughed, Sehun stretching over to hit Jongin on the head once before he squirmed to be let down, having seen his parents coming over to him. “Bye,” He mumbled, running off to his mother. Zitao watched him go, smiling indulgently.

“Well, I can definitely see why he’s so entranced by you,” Jongdae commented, and Zitao turned to look at the other, inquisitive. “You’re very… Well.”

“That’s not an answer, you know.”

Jongdae laughed, his hand coming up to pat Jongin where Sehun had hit. “You’re not going to be getting an answer out of me today, sadly.”

There was a part of Zitao that wanted to snort. What made Jongdae so sure that Zitao wanted an answer from him? But the truthful part of him kept pushing, wanting to know what Jongdae had been going to say.

“Another day, then?” Zitao blurted out before he could stop himself.

Jongdae’s lips curled up into a small smile, making him seem more like a cat than he already did. There was something slow, almost sexual about the way he was curling his lips up. It was almost as though he knew what he was doing, and he was doing it intentionally.

“Another day.”

Another day turned out to be a date, when Jongdae turned up with his older brother, Jongdeok, to pick Jongin up. Jongin had run into the both of them, demanding to be carried up by Jongdeok. Jongdae had laughed, ruffled Jongin’s hair, then sauntered over to Zitao.

“Hey sexy.”

Zitao yelped, almost falling over. Jongdae caught him, laughing, and Zitao marveled at how strong Jongdae’s arms were around him. There was something to be said about that, considering how Zitao himself had been practicing wushu for years.

“So, you’re almost done here, right?” Jongdae asked, leaning into Zitao and propping his head up on Zitao’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Zitao breathed. “Yeah, I am.”

“Great!” Jongdae beamed, pulling away, and Zitao mourned the loss of body heat. “So we can go out, right?”

“Uh,” Zitao blinked. “I- Sure?”

One date turned into two, into three, into meeting up any day they had the time for each other, and Zitao was so, so enamoured with Jongdae. His laughter, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled too widely, his annoying tendency to question everything that Zitao did, god, Zitao loved it all.

And so, without thinking before he did things, as always, Zitao blurted it out to Jongdae one day, when Jongdae was cuddling up next to him in the cafe that they always frequented.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

There was a stretch of silence in which Jongdae didn’t say anything, and Zitao knew, in that instance, that whatever they’d had between them had been ruined. He shouldn’t have said anything, really. Jongdae didn’t feel the same.

None of them ever did.

Then Zitao was being pulled upwards, and Jongdae was storming out of the cafe. Zitao flinched, trying to jerk his hand back, but Jongdae’s grip was firm.

“Jongdae-”

“Shut up.”

Zitao bit his bottom lip, eyes downcast. He didn’t see where they were going; Didn’t want to know. Was Jongdae going to ridicule him? Was he going to tell the world how Zitao was stupid enough to fall in love with someone like him?

“Give me your keys.”

Looking up, Zitao saw his own apartment building. Jongdae was still demanding for his keys, and Zitao slowly moved to get it for him. Jongdae stabbed the buttons of the elevator aggressively, and if Zitao wasn’t so worried, wasn’t so anxious, he would have made a joke about it. As it was, he had no idea if he’d offended Jongdae in any way.

Jongdae yanked the door open, pulled Zitao in, then slammed Zitao against the door. Zitao hissed at the pain; It would definitely bruise, and he wasn’t a fan of that, honestly.

“Say it again.”

Zitao blinked. “What?”

“Say it again. What you said in the cafe.”

Zitao flinched, head bowing. He wasn’t sure what Jongdae was trying to do, but… “I think I’m in love with you.”

Jongdae exhaled sharply, then dropped to his knees. Zitao stared down at him, confused. “Jongdae, what-”

“Shut up,” Jongdae cut him off, and Zitao flinched again. Jongdae’s expression softened, and he reached for one of Zitao’s hands, bringing it to his cheek and leaning into the touch. Zitao marveled at the softness of Jongdae’s skin. “You don’t know how ridiculously happy that makes me.”

Zitao blinked. He was doing a lot of that, lately, with Jongdae.

“I’m going to blow you, now.”

“What-”

“Shh.”

Which led to Tao being where he was right now, slumped against his door and panting hard, having just released. All over Jongdae, he might add.

“Mm,” Jongdae purred. “You’re so hot.”

“And you’re a menace,” Zitao managed between gasps for air.

Jongdae cuddled up into Zitao, even though his front door wasn’t the best place to cuddle. “But you love me.”

Zitao looked down at Jongdae, who was still gross and covered in his come, but still ultimately beautiful to him. He smiled, softly. “Yeah.”

“Yeah, I do.”

Years later, when Jongdae attended Jongin’s high school graduation, he dragged Zitao along with him. Zitao watched Jongin receive his diploma, watched Kyungsoo make his speech as valedictorian. He watched as Yifan swept Sehun into a hug and kissed him, watched Minseok and Luhan make fun of Jongin even though they themselves hadn’t graduated yet.

And Zitao thinks, as he watches the way Jongdae runs off to make fun of Jongin, that deciding to become a kindergarten teacher was the best idea he’s ever had.

[EXO] baby did you know? (yeah, yeah i did)

2015-09-25T09:05:28Z

Title: baby did you know? (yeah, yeah i did)
Pairing(s): Xiumin/Chen
Rating: NC17
Wordcount: 3784
Summary: It took one moment for Jongdae to fall, but the one who helped him up, held him for eternity.

Perhaps Jongdae had known, from the very beginning, that he was totally and utterly screwed.

For one, when he’d first met Kim Minseok, his first thought had been: Holy shit, he’s hot. The worse thing about this was that, in high school, Minseok had been a scrawny little kid with glasses that were too large for his face and a scattering of acne that he hadn’t been able to get rid off at the time. Yet, there had been something about Minseok that had drawn Jongdae to him.

Jongdae. Perfect Jongdae with his high cheekbones - coveted by the entire school, according to Baekhyun - and acing every single class with minimal effort, had gone up to Kim Minseok, of all people. It wasn’t that Minseok was a nerd that was bullied, no, it was that he had been a nobody. He wasn’t anyone; He’d been invisible before Jongdae decided to go up to him.

“Hey,” Jongdae said, sticking his hand out and catching Minseok around the shoulders. He grinned, flashing a row of teeth that had Minseok blinking. “I’m Kim Jongdae. You?”

Minseok blinked again, glancing at the arm that was slung over his shoulder. He shrugged it off, uncomfortable. He knew who Jongdae was, of course. Who didn’t? He was a sure candidate for valedictorian, student council president. His mentor had been Kim Junmyeon, his cousin, the previous student council president that had managed to graduate top of his class, with honours, and propel the student council into previously never seen before heights. His brother, Kim Jong In, was the school’s most coveted dancer, and while the younger wasn’t the most academically inclined person in the school, it wasn’t like they were going to let him go when he was already being offered scholarships by Juilliard.

So of course Minseok knew who Kim Jongdae was. But that didn’t mean anything. Minseok wasn’t invisible in this school because of his looks, it was because he honestly didn’t care. He didn’t take part in any of the clubs, preferring to play soccer with Luhan, his childhood best friend, rather than on the school field. Luhan had been on the team, before he graduated, but even he had failed in getting Minseok to try out. He just wasn’t the time of guy to vie for nor want attention.

“Kim Minseok,” He murmured, continuing to walk. He didn’t see any point in staying to speak to Jongdae. The other was flashy in a way that made Minseok a little uncomfortable, and if he were to say that in front of the entire cafeteria, he was going to be made a public enemy, and he really, really didn’t want to go through his last year of high school being attacked by literally the entire student body.

No one disliked Kim Jongdae after all; Except Kim Minseok, maybe.

Perhaps Jongdae was sharper than Minseok gave him credit for, because after his arm dropped from Minseok’s shoulders, his grin had turned from excited to a little abashed, faltering into an almost shy smile that had Minseok blinking again. He seemed to be blinking a lot. It was strange, since he never really used to. Nothing fazed Minseok, after all.

“I’m sorry,” Jongdae started, following Minseok. He turned around to wave to his group of friends almost dismissively, and they all burst into giggles. Minseok frowned, speeding. “Hey!” Jongdae called, jogging to catch up with him. “I’m sorry; I probably made you uncomfortable, right? I didn’t mean to. I’m just a really touchy person in general and most of the time people don’t really have any problems with it but you do and now I’m just rambling and I’m sorry I’m usually not like this-”

Minseok had stopped by this point, not that Jongdae seemed to noticed. While the other had also halted in his foot steps when Minseok had, he didn’t seem to have registered in consciously. He took the time to watch the other curiously, a small amused smile spreading on his lips when he realized he’d made Kim Jongdae, of all people, anxious to the point where he was rambling. He held up a hand, cutting Jongdae off abruptly, the other’s eyes widening.

“It’s okay,” Minseok gave, dropping his hand now that he had Jongdae’s attention. “It’s nothing, really. I’m just not used to it. You don’t have to worry.”

Jongdae sighed in relief at this. “Oh god, thank you. I thought I’d offended you somehow and that’s really strange a concept for me, even though Baekhyun says I offend him multiple times a day, but honestly who really listens-”

“You’re rambling again,” Minseok informed, his smile widening slightly. “Do you normally do this?”

He shook his head, flushing an adorable shade of pink. “No. I’m Kim Jongdae, people normally get flustered in front of me, and I don’t really know why this is happening to me.”

Minseok raised a hand to ruffle Jongdae’s hair, and the gaping of the other tells him that he doesn’t really get treated like this often. However, Minseok was older than him by a few months, and he would treat the other like a dongsaeng if he so well wanted to. “Well, class is starting, so I should get going now,” He informed, taking his hand back and hugging his books to his chest again. “Bye!”

He was pretty sure he had left Jongdae silent and still gaping, but it was because of this that he, Kim Minseok, suddenly became the talk of the town. Or, school. Suddenly, everyone knew his name, his birthday, his horoscope, his likes and his dislikes - although some of them were so acutely wrong Minseok wanted to laugh - who he was friends with, where he lived, and it was downright creepy. He was beginning to regret ever continuing conversation with Kim Jongdae.

On one hand, it wasn't as though he hadn't expected it, what with it being Kim Jongdae that he had spoken to. On the other, Minseok had been really, really private about his personal details, so how had they gotten hold of it?

Well. Minseok wasn’t one to dwell on such things.

At first, Minseok hadn’t thought that he would have anything in common with Jongdae. They were worlds apart, and the only thing that they had in common was probably their last names, and that wasn’t something that he had been able to choose, had it? So when Jongdae had sat himself down next to Minseok during lunch period, humming a Jay Chou song, Minseok had frozen.

Jay Chou. Mandarin pop. Oh. My. God.

“Hey, hyung,” Jongdae began, as though he wasn’t given Minseok a heart attack just by existing, currently. “I got this for you,” He babbled, sliding over a cup of coffee. Normally Minseok would jump at the thought of caffeine, but this time he ignored it, focusing on Jongdae himself. “I heard that you liked coffee, even though I’m not very sure of the type you like-”

“What song were you just singing?” Minseok asked, voice almost sharp. Jongdae blinks in shock, his words cutting off, looking as though Minseok had reached out to slap him.

“G-Gei Wo Yi Shou Ge De Shi Jian,” Jongdae stammered out, looking almost terrified. “I- I like Mandarin pop?”

Interest pigued, Minseok fired question after question at Jongdae, asking about Jay Chou and JJ Lin and Angela Zhang. Jongdae answered them all with ease once he realized that Minseok wasn’t condemning his taste in music, but rather showing appreciation. He quickly went back to his cheery disposition once more, smile widening the more they spoke.

“Have you bought Capricorn yet?” Jongdae asked a few weeks later, leaning onto Minseok’s shoulder. At this point, Minseok doesn’t really care anymore. Jongdae was his friend now, someone who wasn’t exactly precious - such a lie, Kim Minseok - but was getting there. Minseok just continued to eat his lunch, shaking his head at Jongdae’s question.

Jongdae made a displeased sound in the back of his throat, and Minseok laughed in return. He hadn’t bought the new Jay Chou album, didn’t really plan to. They were going into college soon, soon to graduate from high school, and he honestly needed all the money that he could get. College wasn’t cheap by any means, so he needed to save up as soon as he could. Which was now.

“I did,” Jongdae informed, as though this information was important to saving the universe. Minseok rolled his eyes; He was used to Jongdae being dramatic anyways. It was hard not to, since Jongdae had adopted Minseok as his best friend, making his actual best friends, Baekhyun and Chanyeol stare after him. They weren’t vindictive about it, and Jongdae informed him that they enjoyed having some time to themselves, especially now that they’d started dating. “I could lend it to you if you wanted. Or even burn a copy for you.”

Minseok reached over to flick Jongdae’s forehead. “That’s illegal, you know,” He pretended to be offended by Jongdae’s offer, then laughed. “If it’s not too much of a bother. Thank you.”

“Always!” Jongdae has replied, cheery, but his heart had been pounding in his chest, so hard and so fast he was surprised that Minseok hadn’t heard.

High school flew by, both Jongdae and Minseok too caught up in studying for their university entrance exams to do anything else. They still spoke about their mutual interests, still screamed at each other - in person at school, or over the phone when they were too busy being buried in their books to go about having any human interaction whatsoever - whenever their idols put out a new song. Nothing really changed about them; They were still Jongdae and Minseok.

For that, Jongdae was undeniably grateful for. Finding someone like Kim Minseok had not been something that he’d counted on when he came into high school, arm looped around the shoulders of Baekhyun. Nowadays, Baekhyun even whined that Jongdae was spending too much time with the other and neglecting all his original friends. It made Jongdae feel bad, yes, but Baekhyun had laughed at him and said he was merely joking. Baekhyun had known Jongdae since they were both children, knew that there was no way that Jongdae would leave his group of friends for Minseok.

When they’d entered university, on the first day of orientation, Jongdae had gaped at Minseok, who had stared back at him with equal shock. Neither of them had told the other which school they had been applying for, nor into which they had been accepted, having wanted it to be a mutual surprise, so to see each other was nothing short of a miracle.

“You got in here too?” Jongdae yelled at Minseok, looking more flustered than Minseok had ever seen him, which was saying something. “You didn’t tell me!”

“Well, you didn’t tell me, either!” Minseok defended, and the both of them had stared at each other, entirely offended, until they’d laughed and collapsed into each other’s arms, unaware and uncaring of the people around them.

Business school had been tiring, and that was putting it lightly. Despite that, it wasn’t as though Jongdae hadn’t enjoyed his time in university. Minseok had chosen to major in Accounting, so even though it wasn’t exactly the same, he still managed to get some time each week to see Minseok.

It was also during this time that Jongdae realized that he might not be straight. It had taken a lot of alcohol, a lot of screaming at and from his parents, a lot of tears cried onto Baekhyun’s shoulder to get to where he was now. So he wasn’t heterosexual. Sure, he could work with that.

University was an experience in itself. He’d gone through a couple of girlfriends before realizing he had no interest in the soft hands and curved bodies of the girls on his campus, his eyes instead straying to the hard muscles and defined veins along the arms of the males that roamed the very same campus. A couple of drunk kisses with Baekhyun had occurred, but they’d decided mutually that they should just stay friends and never, ever try romance again with each other.

University was looking at Minseok bury his fingers in his hair and ruffling it up, trying to get somewhere that he couldn’t. University was watching Minseok look through shop rental upon shop rental, trying to find one that he could buy out the lease of at a price that was cheap enough that he wouldn’t go entirely broke, even with loans from the bank. University was lying his head onto Minseok’s shoulder and a I could co-own the cafe with you, if you wanted. University was Minseok’s eyes lighting up and tackling Jongdae onto the ground in absolute glee.

University was when Jongdae realized that the best decision he’d ever made in his life was to become friends with Kim Minseok.

About a year into owning the cafe, Jongdae had turned around to ask Minseok a question only to see the way the light reflected off the crown of his hair. There was something that was beautiful about Kim Minseok, something that was so ethereal about him in that moment that Jongdae had to take a small break from what he was doing to just look at the other.

It took some time before Jongdae could come back to his senses, during which time Minseok had, luckily for him, not realized that he was so blatantly staring. He blinked once, twice, then decided that hey, they had come so far from where they had been from the beginning, that even if this wasn’t something that Minseok wanted for himself - for them - then at least it wouldn’t be a deal breaker. It wouldn’t ruin their friendship.

Hopefully.

And so when Minseok turned over to wonder why Jongdae had stopped his actions, Jongdae leaned over and pressed his lips gently to his.

There was silence, a little epiphany on Minseok’s side, a little blinking on Jongdae’s, and then Minseok nodded. “Okay.”

That was that.

Which led to where they were now, Minseok on top of Jongdae on the couch, slowly kissing him, drawing it out. Jongdae whimpered beneath Minseok, back curving up to meet Minseok’s. There was a small pause, and then Minseok was deepening the kiss, palm on the small of Jongdae’s back, supporting him, fingers splayed out in the way that made Jongdae feel so safe and so warm.

“Hyung,” Jongdae breathed when Minseok parted their lips to press butterfly kisses onto his jawline, the cheekbones he loved so much, his neck. “Shit, hyung, please just-”

Minseok rumbled, moving to pin Jongdae’s hands up above his head. Jongdae kept them there, even after Minseok had moved his hands away, pliant in the arms of the one he loved the most. His chest heaved as he took deep breaths, body writhing beneath Minseok’s expert touch.

“Be patient,” Minseok instructed, and Jongdae listens. He’d always listened to Minseok. Minseok who is the sun, the moon, the everything to Jongdae. There are times where Jongdae just takes the time to stare at Minseok, small breaks when there aren’t any customers, in the small sliver of time that they’re allowed. Jongdae wonders if Minseok does the same, but he decides that it doesn’t really matter.

Minseok reached up to pull his shirt over his head, and Jongdae marvels at the beauty that is Kim Minseok’s body. The soft shadows that are cast across his abdomen, just a hint away from being defined. The arms that are lean, packed with muscles. The waist that Jongdae loved to wrap his arms around, the shoulders that Jongdae loved to rest his head on.

Minseok, Minseok, Minseok.

Jongdae moved, lunging upwards and knocking Minseok back down onto the couch. Minseok grunted, but Jongdae’s already moving, already pinning Minseok down and unbuttoning his jeans. There’s a moan when Jongdae licked a wet stripe up the bulge in Minseok’s boxers, and Jongdae grinned to himself.

“Hyung,” Jongdae purred from where he was, between Minseok’s legs, one hand rubbing slow circles where he knew the head of Minseok’s cock was. He made sure to make his voice as innocent as possible, his expression as demure as he could, knowing that it was what got to Minseok the most, the fastest. “Can I suck you off, hyung?”

Minseok groaned, pressing his hips upwards for an answer, and it was all the reply that Jongdae needed to immediately dive down and suck at the cloth covered head. Minseok jerked, moaning, and Jongdae continued to wet Minseok’s boxers as he laved at the length through the cloth. “Jongdae,” Minseok panted, hand coming down to thread through Jongdae’s hair. “Shit, Jongdae.”

Jongdae peeled off Minseok’s boxers, Minseok lifting his hips to aid him, then quickly returned his mouth to Minseok’s length. He swiped his tongue across his slit, moaning as he slid his mouth down the length as far as he could, pumping what he couldn’t. During this time, he kept his eyes on Minseok for the whole time, looking up at him through his eyelashes.

He kept this up, sucking and using his tongue to tease in Minseok’s most sensitive spots, beneath the head, his fingers pressing against Minseok’s perineum, making him keen. Jongdae slurped happily, pinning Minseok’s hips down when he tried to buck up. “Hyung,” Jongdae questioned, his voice wrecked already. “Is it good?”

“Kim Jongdae,” Minseok almost cursed, squirming on the couch. “You know how good you are at this.”

A giggle, and Jongdae was back at what he did best: Driving Minseok insane. Minseok moaned, the sound echoing off the walls, music to Jongdae’s ears. He hadn’t even thoroughly enjoyed what he was doing when Minseok was pulling him up, shaking his head. “Stop, Jongdae, stop.”

“But hyung,” Jongdae whined, pouting. “I was having so much fun.”

Minseok said nothing, merely smiled that coy smile of his and spread Jongdae’s legs wide, obscenely so. Jongdae moaned, Minseok almost ruthlessly pulling his pants off, followed by his briefs. He made a show of tossing Jongdae’s clothes behind him, making Jongdae laugh at how ridiculous his boyfriend was.

There was a small moment in which everything stopped, and the two of them just stared at each other, so caught up in the love they had for each other, overwhelming and overflowing. Jongdae reached up to cup Minseok’s cheek, the other leaning down. They kissed, languidly, slowly. They had all the time in the world, after all.

Then Minseok rolled his hips down, and Jongdae gasped. There was something about the way that Minseok could move, that dancer’s grace that he possessed despite never having taken a single class in his life, that always drove Jongdae absolutely insane, especially when he used it in such a situation.

“Fuck,” Jongdae gave, head falling back when Minseok rolled his hips down again, grinning. He’d already retrieved the small packet of lube that he liked to keep between the cushions. Jongdae laughed, breathlessly. “One day,” He said. “A customer’s going to find that there, and we’re going to be in so much trouble.”

Minseok shrugged. “We could always claim that it’s not ours, and that it might be from a previous customer.”

“Loser,” Jongdae claimed. “That’s the lamest excuse that anyone could come up with, Kim Minseok.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Minseok gave, inserting one finger into Jongdae slowly, purposefully. “I mean, I’ve got better things that I need to get to come up, such as your dick.”

Jongdae kicked out, but Minseok dodged, laughing, placing another kiss to Jongdae’s lips when he slowly inserted another, and another finger into his boyfriend. Jongdae moaned, shifting to get Minseok to press against his prostate. “Mm,” Minseok hummed happily. “So responsive, my kitten.”

“Only-” Jongdae managed, then gasped again. “Only for you.”

Pleased, Minseok pulled all his fingers out and lined himself up with Jongdae’s entrance. “Good boy.”

“Please, hyung!”

Minseok laughed, then gave in to his boyfriend. Pressing in slowly, he laced their fingers together, lavishing Jongdae with soft kisses as he did so. Jongdae keened, his legs coming up to wrap around Minseok’s waist almost lazily, clenching desperately. “Fuck, hyung!”

“So tight,” Minseok breathed out, laying his forehead gently against Jongdae’s. “So tight, so hot, so fucking beautiful, Jongdae.”

Jongdae wailed when Minseok began to move, short thrusts giving way to deep, relentless strokes inside of him. Minseok fucked him so well, knew how to drive him up the wall and over the edge. Jongdae trusted Minseok, gave him control, all of it, lying pliantly under his boyfriend, but no less responsive, his hips driving down to meet Minseok’s almost brutal thrusts.

“Good,” Jongdae babbled, almost screaming when Minseok’s hand, soft and small but so, so perfect, came up to tug at his erection. “Good, good, so good, my god, hyung, please-!”

“Yes,” Minseok hissed. “Anything for you, Jongdae, anything.”

Screaming, Jongdae came, body spasming through his orgasm, Minseok not letting up, still fucking harder, faster, deeper, prolonging Jongdae’s orgasm and falling into his own. Jongdae wrapped his arms around Minseok’s torso, pulling him down, whispering filthy words into his ear, hyung you feel that, you’re so fucking hard inside of me, come harder for me hyung, you’re so good you’ve been so good for me, come inside me, mark me, yes, yes, yes! and Minseok fell, crying out into the juncture between Jongdae’s neck and shoulder.

When they both came back to themselves, Jongdae shuddered happily when Minseok pulled out. “Hyung,” He sighed. “You’re so good to me.”

Minseok laughed. “Of course I am,” He murmured, a stupid grin on his face. “I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to be good to you.”

“But you were,” Jongdae continued to babble, always like this post coital. He grinned up contentedly at Minseok. “Even when I first met you, in high school.”

Minseok shook his head endearingly, pulling Jongdae up. Jongdae followed willingly, like a ragdoll, almost. He snuggled into Minseok’s arms, giggling like a child. “I love you, hyung.”

A small sigh and a shake of a head later, Minseok pressed a small kiss to Jongdae’s forehead. “I love you too, kitten.”

The next day, when he came into work slightly later, Minseok found a pink post-it note stuck to the egg chairs, a winking emoticon drawn on it in marker. One side of his lips pulled up in an amused smirk, and he turned to Jongdae, who merely grinned back.

Tonight? Jongdae mouthed cheekily.

Minseok pretended to think about it, then peeled the post it off the chair. He moved to wrap his arm around Jongdae’s waist.

“Tonight.”