Shadows in the dark

Books 2025

mierke — Thu, 01 Jan 2026 14:05:00 GMT

I read 89 books in 2025, which is very much on the low side. This year has been A LOT, and with the move and with how much support Jenny has needed with everything going on, there just wasn't enough time or energy to read.

Some data:

My main genres were contemporary romance (21%) and realistic fiction (16%). High fantasy came third, but honestly, that's simply because I read Narnia this year, not because I'm suddenly so invested in that specific genre. :D
For the first year since I started tracking like this in 2020, my average rating is over 4! I'm so proud of myself! That means I've done really well with DNF'ing books I didn't want to read, and spend most of my time on books that are actually worth my time. Only 20% earned a rating of three stars or less.
All 10 of my top 10 books are written for adults, which I'm guessing is a first as well (adult books only make up 65% of what I read, though!). My favourite YA book only just missed the podium, coming in at 11: Call Your Boyfriend by Ashley Woodfolk & Olivia A. Cole, a queer romance with mutual pining, great characters and hard-hitting writing.
The oldest books I read was from 1872 (Jules Verne's Le Tour du monde en quatre-vingts jours, in Dutch translation), which I enjoyed more than I expected. Somehow, so far French classics seem to fare better than British ones.
The longest book I read was Leer me alles wat je weet, incidentally one of only three (ouch!) originally Dutch language books I read in 2025. I spent 6 hours and 16 minutes with this one, and though it ended up with only 3.75 stars, I don't regret it. It was a pretty good queer read.
For the first time ever, new releases were actually my main year of origin, helped along by the facts that a) most recommendations were new releases and b) I read a lot of Simon Teen's 25 Books of December, which were also all new releases. The newest book of all was Soulmatch, which I'm hoping will still gain lots of traction, because it was a very original dystopian story about reincarnation (in this world, we know souls reincarnate and we can identify them; so at your 18th birthday, you're linked to your soul and get access to information about your previous lives). It was published Jul 29, 2025.
I read from 76 (Ebola 76) to 81 (The Extra Ordinary Life of Frank Derrick, Age 81) in my sequential numbers project. So that's slowed down a lot, but since we've cancelled our Scribd account, it's been a bit harder to find books (mostly because if I actually have to buy specific books, I'm a bit more discerning). I'm currently waiting for a price drop on an 82 I want to read, so hopefully that'll happen soon! Rat Rule 79 was my favourite of the books I read for this one, an Alice in Wonderland-like middle grade story with lots of wordplay.
Some Storygraph stats: my most read mood is emotional, followed by lighthearted - these two were the same as last year, and feel obvious to me - with reflective coming in third this year. That makes sense, I do love books that delve deeper into the character's emotional response.
I read the most pages in May, apparently (12% of my total of over 27,000 pages). Probably because at that point there wasn't yet much we could do, as we couldn't yet actively start working on the move.
This year, a whopping five of my Tailored Book Recommendations ended up in my Top 10!! My current recommender is the best, I tell you.
Final aim for next year: read more Dutch/Flemish books. I'm not even angry I didn't manage that this year - that has honestly been the last thing on my mind - but I am going to try again next year. I believe in myself! I can do it!

Time for my top 10!

10. Kristen Arnett - Stop Me If You've Heard This One
US American; realistic fiction (Adult); average rating GR: 3.36/SG: 3.66

Breakfast aromas drift upstairs - toast just on the cusp of burnt, bacon, and coffee - and this morning I decide that my feeling of optimism is rooted in the idea that the domestic could be a good thing.

People very clearly don't agree with me on this one! With makes sense, I guess, because this one is messy. There's not much of a plot. Cherry (the MC) makes stupid choices. But gods, it felt so real. So much more profound than expected from a book with a clown as a main character.

9. Jen Comfort - Midnight Duet
US American; contemporary romance (A); average rating GR: 3.88/SG: 3.9

This is a romance between a diva in hiding from a curse and a German glam rock muician. It's ridiculous. It's over the top. I pretty much grinned my way through this. It's a musical comedy on paper, and I didn't even think that could be possible! Also, the sex scenes are incredible, which isn't easy to pull off.

8. Becky Chambers - A Psalm for the Wild-Built
US American; solarpunk (A); average rating GR: 4.22/SG: 4.34

Dex did their best to look sympathetic, which is what they wanted to be, rather than lost, which is what they were.

The best rated one on this list, which honestly, I can live with. This is a novella, not my usual, but it was so worth it. I recommended this one to lots of people this year. It's a book that gives you hope, and that makes you feel a little better about the world. There's a sequel, and while that one's worth a read as well (another 5 stars), it doesn't come close to this first book. I've already shared my favourite quote of this one, so the above is another quote I really liked.

7. Sangu Mandanna - The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches
British; cozy fantasy (A); average rating GR: 4.03/SG: 4.14

This year was very much the year of books that gave me all the warm and fuzzy feelings. This story about a wich who's learned to keep her magic secret and then finds a family where she can be herself definitly fits that description. A must read for fans of Klune's Cerulean Chronicles.

6. Emily J. Taylor - The Otherwhere Post
US American; fantasy (A); average rating GR: 3.97/SG: 4.03

This one was a bit of a surprise. Not that I'd expected not to like it - multiverse stories always work well for me - I just hadn't expected to like it this much! The world-building was fabulous, and the power of language in this one is probably one of the reasons why I enjoyed it so much.

5. T.J. Klune - Somewhere Beyond the Sea (Cerulean Chronicles #2)
US American, read in Duch translation by Anneke Bok & Daniëlle Visser; cozy fantasy (A); average rating GR: 4.12/SG: 4.25

Cozy fantasy, found family, protective people, wonderful side characters, interesting conversations, just super fun creatures. This one has it all. In this case I even prefer the sequel over the first book! That doesn't happen often.

4. Shelly Jay Shore - Rules for Ghosting
US American; paranormal fantasy (A); average rating GR: 3.88/SG: 4.13

Another great book about found family, though in this one Shore manages to combine it with family of origin, instead of replacing one with the other. It's a story about a guy seeing ghosts, learning to accept love and working in the family funeral home. It's different in all the best ways.

3. David R. Slayton - White Trash Warlock (Adam Binder #1)
US American; urban fantasy (A); average rating GR: 3.91/SG: 3.85

Urban fantasy has been more miss than hit for me lately. I feel like either it's gotten bland, or I've gotten bored with it. However, every once in a while I read a book that reminds me of why I've loved the genre for so long, and this is one of them.

Adam is a magic user, who broke with his non-magical family when his brother had him committed for hearing voices. However, when his brother asks him for help, he doesn't hesitate. While Adam's not the most powerful of all, that might actually be helpful with what's going on (which I found really interesting!). The stakes stay personal, even when the future of an entire city is at stake, which is quite impressive. Definitely worth a read if you like the genre!

2. Ryka Aoki - Light from Uncommon Stars
US American; urban science fiction fantasy (A); average rating GR: 4.04/SG: 4.11

With a rating of 5.5, this is the first one on this list that earned the rare 5+ rating. This book could have lasted for weeks and I'd have been happy. What an exploration of music and gender and connection. What soft and quiet power.

1. Janice Hallett - The Appeal (The Appeal #1)
British; mystery; epistolary (A); average rating GR: 3.83/SG: 3.9

I read this book in January, yet nothing else I've read this book could dethrone this one. An epistolary done this well? There's nothing better than it. I've already sung this one's praises in January, so I'll just refer to that one, but really. So. Good.

October Books

mierke — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 18:05:01 GMT

October was a pretty good month, with my favourite being Emily J. Taylor's The Otherwhere Post. I always love playing with the multiverse, and I thought the characters in this one were really great, even the side characters that only showed up on a couple of pages made an impression. The writing-based magic system was so cool and the emotional arc really satisfying. Definitely worth a read.

Favourite quote of the month:

Do you not find consciousness alone to be the most exhilarating thing? Here we are, in this incomprehensibly large universe, on this one tiny moon around this one incidental planet, and in all the time this entire scenario has existed, every component has been recycled over and over and over again into infinitely incredible configurations, and sometimes, those configurations are special enough to be able to see the world around them. You and I - we're just atoms that arranged themselves the right way, and we can understand that about ourselves. Is that not amazing?

(Becky Chambers - A Psalm for the Wild-Built)
This duology was really worth a read at well; just the softness of it. You'll leave the book feeling a little better about the world, with a little more wonder and awe about existence. It's so worth it.

Fic: Your rhythm is a mess (Dear Evan Hansen)

mierke — Fri, 31 Oct 2025 07:44:17 GMT

I wrote something!!

So early September I finally got the chance to see Dear Evan Hansen live. It's one of my favourite musicals and this production was just- amazing. It was in the Netherlands, which made me a bit hesitant (there are quite a few Dutch musical translators I think are ... pretty bad at their job), especially because when we saw The Prom a couple of years ago, it was such a disappointment.

But this one!! Gods, it was all sorts of amazing. The translation was phenomenal, the staging was great, very intimate, most of the actors were great (wasn't a big fan of the actress playing Heidi, but that was okay). The actor playing Connor was especially great, his background work was amazing. I cried so many tears!

Anyway, I got inspired. I set out to write a post-musical Zoe/Evan story, and while I sort of did that, it mostly became a Zoe character study as she figures out how (and whether) to grieve someone she never knew, and with having feelings for someone who lied to her so much. I ignored the epilogue and started my story just after Zoe finds out Evan never knew Connor at all.

Your rhythm is a mess is 4,000 words of grieving, dealing, and moving on.

Narnia

mierke — Sat, 09 Aug 2025 19:25:53 GMT

I was raised Christian. Protestant, Reformed (Liberated), to be exact. I didn't think we were very strict, but your mileage may vary (actually, it's one of the ways in which it is so easy to see within our family that different children from the same family grow up with different experiences; my sister definitely deals with religious trauma. But I digress). We were devout, though; church twice on Sundays, catechesis on Tuesdays, youth group every other week on Wednesdays for a couple of years as well.

There was this family in our church who was way stricter than we were; they didn't have a TV at home, for example. And when Harry Potter really rose to fame, it became very obvious that Good Christian Girls would not read that Pagan drivel (I keep finding it ironic how someone whose work I was hardly allowed to read as a kid is now pushing such a traditional Christian agenda; but I digress, again) but would read Narnia. I'm not even really sure how that fact became so obvious; my parents let me read pretty freely, but it must have been something I picked up from things I heard around me in church and/or op-eds in our Christian newspaper.

It will come as no surprise that I, at that point already an enthusiastic Harry Potter fan (discovering the book series just before the hype) and a PDA'er besides, quickly decided I would not read Narnia.

All that to say, when I finally did pick up the books a couple of months ago, mostly out of this feeling that with how much I'm enjoying portal fantasies I wanted to give this quintessential example of it a read, if just to pick up on references and stuff, and besides, I needed something easy on my mind, with all the move stress and everything, I was aware this would be a Christian book. I knew, vaguely, it was a Christian allegory.

My friends, nothing, nothing, could have prepared me for how very. not. subtle. Lewis was. I think part of me still expected it to be something of a well-known and -accepted interpretation of the story, like it was a hidden meaning that was clear only on close read.

As I kept reading on, I just kept on being bowled over by how obvious it is, from start to finish, up until the point in the last book (spoilers, I guess?) where everyone is saved except Susan because she'd stopped believing in Narnia and yet no one cares, because hey, it's heaven and everyone is happy and who cares about non-believers anyway? They just stop existing. (I liked most of Narnia just fine. The final book though made me a little nauseous.)

I did go in publishing order (the omnibus I used actually was organised in chronological order, but I find that extremely weird, so I sort of jumped back and forth to read it in the intended order). I *adore* Lucy. Funnily enough, I've read the last one almost a month ago and there's not much scenes I specifically remember, but I do remember the one where Lucy sort of meets the mergirl. I felt that connection in my bones (is there any fic about them? I feel like there should be). None of the other characters really stuck with me, though I did like Digory (interestingly enough, I do think The Magician's Nephew is one of the better Narnia stories; I just think it's a strange place to start; just because the bible starts at the creation of the Earth, doesn't mean the Chronicles of Narnia has to start at the beginning).

Fic: I couldn't know someone less (The Prom)

mierke — Wed, 12 Mar 2025 19:02:18 GMT

Fic alert! It's actual fic! That I wrote!

This is one that's been in the works for a long time. The first 3,200 words pretty much wrote themselves, but the ending, gods, the ending. It was impossible, I tell you. I would pick this one up, try a few sentences, realise it didn't work, erase, leave it be for a month. Rinse and repeat for at least four or five times.

I'm not 100% sure the ending works now, but I think that's mostly because it's the nth version and I've lost perspective.

I couldn't know someone less
(title courtesy of Daddy Long Legs, as I try to create at least one fill for the current Lyrical Titles challenge)
is another The Prom fic, this one focusing on the relationship between Alyssa and her father, as I imagine a world where she is kicked out by her mother for being gay and figures her father owes her a roof over her head. Who she finds at her father's place, though, is not what she expected.

Reading for joy

mierke — Sat, 01 Mar 2025 18:43:02 GMT

Yesterday I finished a book. It was good, well-written, I kept willingly coming back to it even though it took me over six hours to finish it - but it would almost always leave me in a bit bleaker mood. And I realised I don't want that anymore; and then I realised it felt childish to only want to read books that leave me feeling good. I mean- how messed up is that? How nonsensical is it that I would forbid myself from seeking out joy, as if it's a child's prerogative, instead of inherent to human nature?

I feel like joy has to be the antidote to how hopeless I feel most days, and somehow, that felt like a revelation. It feels so obvious in hindsight, and I think I did know it before phrasing it specifically that way, but still, realising it like that, framing joy like that, it's making it a little - a little - easier to chase it. I have decided to cull my TBR from books that I might appreciate (this one is getting 4 stars!) but will still leave me feeling sad. Just like I've started to be a bit more critical in the games I play, uninstalling ones that leave me feeling a bit emptier or a tad drained afterwards, even though I enjoy the game itself. My nervous system, my emotional system, is so sensitive that I have to be sensitive in how I care for it.

And yet, even writing that, a part of me goes, well, aren't you being precious. All my life I've heard my responses, my emotions, my reactions, are over; overexaggerated, over the top, all over the place. As if I'm just pretending. As if these things I'm feeling aren't real and thus should be ignored. It's become so ingrained into my very being, that fighting against that notion is such a process. But these emotions are real, these responses are real, and if I can tamper my suicidal ideation a bit by paying more attention to the sort of books I read, then ... wouldn't it be stupid to ignore that?

It's interesting, people are always so quick to point out how authentic I am, how great I am at being myself, and sure, that's partly true; yet here I am, struggling to allow myself joy ...

January books

mierke — Mon, 03 Feb 2025 09:45:58 GMT

With half of my January books being mystery books, I really should stop saying I'm not a mystery reader. In my defense, though, I rarely care about the conclusion to the mystery, it's the character dynamics that really draw me in. Those were really great in Chasing Truth.

The Appeal ('De hoofdrol', I read the Dutch translation), though!! This will not be a blanket endorsement as I gave for The Lost Story, just because it's an epistolary, and I know that's not everyone's cup of tea. It really is mine though, and this became my first (very early!) six star read of the year. It was all kinds of amazing. The premise is as follows: two law students get a big file from their professor and have to sort through it all (e-mails, text messages, stuff like that). They - and, as a consequence, you - don't know what they're looking for yet, just that there's something in there that's important.
Loads of things happen between the various characters, secrets kept and secrets revealed, a lot of threads woven throughout it all. As the reader you know it's a murder mystery, so you have some leg up on the law students, but you only learn who's dead at 2/3rd, which I thought a great way of really immersing yourself into the world and the characters. After that point, you follow along with the discussions between the law students as they try to figure things out.
I love how well Hallett utilises the format, with tiny details here and there having meaning, and she knew exactly when and where to add the sort of 'filler' that make epistolary so enticing for me (no, seriously; I love the format so much that it even influences my job: I love translating meeting minutes, because it gives such a view into the life and the development of things at a company). Off to a great start with my I-want-to-read-more-epistolaries goal!

Favourite quote of the month:

You're at least a hundred different impossibles.

(Julie Cross - Chasing Truth)

Snowflake 1-4 (Look at me go!!!)

mierke — Thu, 09 Jan 2025 14:53:54 GMT

1. Update your fandom information
I made some minor tweaks to my introduction post (updated age, removed Pokemon Go from the fandom list).

2. Your fannish origin story
I did a very personal and extensive fandom history in 2020.

However, 's way of looking at this made me look beyond the usual definition of fandom. And I realised, my fannish origins, before I'd had any notion of fandom at all? My mom, who would say to me when I'd complain about a book with an open ending: "Write your own". Eventually, that's what I started doing! Thanks mom!

3. A fannish opinion that has changed over time
This was a tough one, mostly because it's hard to keep track of what I used to think you know? But:

I believe I used to scoff at RPF once upon a time. Did I actually think there was something wrong with it? I'm genuinely not sure, but I did look down on it, that I do know. I'm not proud of this! I've come to realise that as long as nobody actually bothers the people involved (which still gets me really angry), there's truly nothing wrong with it at all. Also, I read quite a bit of One Direction RPF (Harry/Louis) these days, so ...

4. Goals
As someone with PDA, goals are always a tough one. I'll just leave this: I want to write more than last year. I only managed 6 fics last year, and not only do I miss writing, I'm also pretty sure writing is good for my mental health and I'm missing out on the benefits.

2024 in books

mierke — Wed, 01 Jan 2025 17:06:55 GMT

I read 143 books in 2024, which is... getting a bit ridiculous, really? It's my go-to low-energy activity and energy has been in short supply again.

Some data:

My main genres were contemporary romance (26%) and realistic fiction (20%). The amount of contemporary romance I read continues to climb over the years, with only 15% when I started tracking like this in 2020. Give me all the feel good vibes!
Interestingly enough, I did diversify my reading somewhat, since third place is divided over three categories with each accounting for only 5% (fantasy, chick-lit and urban fantasy).
Even though I DNF'ed liberally again this year, my average rating did decline (coming up at 3.75 this year), and up to 27% of my reads ended up earning 3 stars or less. That's probably partly because I started using quarter ratings this year, but I also think especially towards the end of the year I struggled with a couple of reading challenges. I have since let those challenges go, and am renewing my determination to not finish books I think will end up being 'just fine' or worse for the next year.
The oldest books I read was from 1967 (De Cock en het sombere naakt), so relatively new this year! The longest book I read was 65 jaar België op het Songfestival, a non-fiction book no less! I spent 6 hours and 42 minutes reading about the Belgian entries at the Eurovision Song Contest.
The newest book I read was All In by Elaine Evans. This was an ARC that caught my eye because it was supposedly an epistolary novel (unfortunately it was neither epistolary nor worth my time); it was published September 10, 2024.
I read from 64 (Dossier 64) to 75 (75 Days of Jo) in my sequential numbers project. I try to read 10 a year, so that's gone pretty well! My favourite of those was 65 jaar België op het Songfestival (see above), which even made it to my top 10!
While I did not reach my goal of reading less US American books (with 69% that percentage has instead gone up quite a bit from last year's 57%), I did read more books that were originally written in Dutch, from 9% to 11%! Aim for next year: get those USA numbers down, and perhaps add a percentage to the Dutch/Flemish books.
With three (!) of those Dutch/Flemish books ending up in the top 10, I definitely managed to reverse last year's curse and found some great gems.
Some Storygraph stats: my most read mood is emotional (50%), followed by lighthearted (29%) and adventurous (27%). Those first two are a given, that third one is a bit of a surprise!
I read the most pages in June, which honestly, that tracks.
This year, two of my Tailored Book Recommendations ended up in my Top 10. I'm loving my current recommender!
Final aim for next year: start tracking verse and epistolary formats, and read more of those.

Time for my top 10!

10. Jacodine van de Velde - Het licht in jou en mij
Dutch; realistic fiction (Young Adult); average GR rating: 4.42

A book about friendship and chronic illness, what's not to love?!
Elin (17) has irritable bowel syndrome, and would like to pretend she hasn't, thank you very much. Anne-Fleur (16) learns she has diabetes. The girls are on opposite ends of the social ladder, but when Anne-Fleur's friends can't deal with her illness and Elin and Anne-Fleur end up meeting in the hospital things start changing.

9. Jonathan Hendrickx & Jasper Van Biesen - 65 jaar België op het Songfestival
Flemish; non-fiction (Adult); average GR rating: 4.50

How has non-fiction ended up in my top 10? I have no idea. But Hendrickx & Van Biesen managed to write a book that was interesting, readable and pretty. I'm even considering buying a copy of this one (I read a library copy)!

8. Elissa Sussman - Funny You Should Ask
US American; contemporary romance (A); average GR rating: 3.58

This dual storyline contemporary romance is about a journalist (26/36) and an actor (30/40). Then, she wrote a profile about him that defines both of their careers in an interview that spiralled into a weekend of flirtation and friendship. Now, his management wants her to write another one; and the spark that was there back in the day, is still there.

I devoured this book in almost one setting. I love the characters. I love the way this is written, with the dual storylines and the blog/article excerpts. I love that the story was obviously thought out and nothing about it was simple, even when everything was crystal clear.

7. Syed M. Masood - More Than Just a Pretty Face
US American; contemporary romance (YA); average GR rating: 4.05

For a book that I sped through in just over 2 hours, this contains a multitude of things, all seamlessly sown together in one story. It's about food and the power of making it; it's about being desi; it's about colonialism, and how it still influences our world today; it's about forging your own path; it's about being muslim. And also, aside and together and through all of those things, it's about love. About real love, beyond the superficial first attraction, beyond what people think you should do or feel or want. The quiet type of love, that burrows deep inside and doesn't let go.

This was a random library pick-up because I liked the title so much. That worked out really well!

6. Ali Hazelwood - Love, Theoretically
US American; contemporary romance (A); average GR rating: 4.10

I don't know how Hazelwood does it. I don't like enemies-to-lovers. Elsie's main characteristics - her chameleon tendencies ("She's the best at being who someone else wants her to be") and her too quick snap judgements - are not exactly traits I admire (in truth, they get on my nerves pretty badly). This should not be a book I love. Yet Hazelwood's writing has a spark to it that makes me want to immerse myself in her story and her characters anyway and makes me wish I could just pause the world so I can finish the book in peace.

It's no wonder this is the second year in a row one of Hazelwood's books ended up in my top 10!

5. Jennifer Lynn Barnes - The Brothers Hawthorne (The Inheritance Games #4)
US American; mystery (YA); average GR rating: 3.93

I love this series so much. I was a bit hesitant about reading this one - adding a book after a trilogy can so easily end badly - but I loved it to bits. I love the characters, the mystery felt fresh, it's just such an enjoyable read. High praise that for the second year in a row, one of the books of this series ended up in my top 10!

I also read the first book in the The Grandest Game spin-off, though that one didn't work as well for me (I mean, it still ended up earning 4 stars, so it's not that it was bad, but it was the first one that didn't earn at least 5 stars!).

4. Anita Kelly - Something Wild & Wonderful (Love & Other Disasters #2)
US American; contemporary romance (A); average GR rating: 4.26

Alexei (29) is walking the Pacific Crest Trail to figure out how to say goodbye to the life he had before coming out to his parents, and how to build up Alexei 2.0. Ben (also 29) has just graduated from nursing school and is walking the PCT to move on from the bad relationships in his past and to stop making bad decisions.

Neither of them had counted on meeting each other, and while falling in love on the trail is just as complicated as it sounds, they bring out the best in each other.

Every once in a while, the second book in a series vastly surpasses the first one. This is one of those cases: this particular book was a recommendation, but I was stubborn, and read the first part first. It was fine, though nothing special. This one though! There was happy stimming involved, and a copious amount of crying. Just the way I like my books.

I was drawn in by Alexei's introspection, the way he tried to figure out where he stood now, how he tried to make sense of the world and his place in it as a gay man. It all felt so real and close to home. I loved how his autism infused his character. The bird watching!! I love how Ben loved Alexei exactly for who he is - that scene in which Alexei draws Ben's attention by doing something most people would consider weird and Ben thought was utterly amazing, that's when I knew this was a book for me.

3. Micaiah Johnson - The Space Between Worlds (The Space Between Worlds #1)
US American; science fiction (A); average GR rating: 3.94

Cara (22) is a traverser: she travels to other worlds in the multiverse to collect data for the company that employs her. Her counterparts are good at dying (only 8 out of 374 worlds are still alive), but this Cara is exceptionally good at staying alive. Through her travels she discovers more than she bargained for, about herself and about the company - and the man - she works for.

Funnily enough, this is a book my wife DNF'ed. I though, absolutely adored it. It was so, so intense. I loved the world-building, Cara's queerness, everything of it. I'm still undecided whether I want to read the next book (interconnected, not a straight-up continuation), but this one is definitely worth your time.

2. Aline Sax - Wat ons nog rest
Flemish; historical fiction; verse (YA); average GR rating: 4.27

This - this one was a surprise. I remember choosing it from among my library books and going 'well, at least I'll have DNF'd another book', to end up in undrying tears an hour later. Wat ons nog rest ("All we've got left") is an historical fiction (not my genre) set during World War II (I usually avoid books set in wartime). What set this one apart, narratively, is that it's set in Germany. It's 1945, and Henrike (17) is in Berlin, where Russians are taking over and no one it's safe. It definitely wasn't an easy read, but an incredibly intense story about the aftermath of the war in the country of the attacked.

1. Meg Shaffer - The Lost Story
US American; portal fantasy (A); average GR rating: 3.83

I've already sung this book's praises, and it's such a well-deserved winner of this year's best book. It truly had everything. I'm a bit annoyed it lost to TJ Klune's Somewhere Beyond the Sea in the Goodreads Award for Fantasy (though, to be fair, I haven't read Klune's yet), but I am excited it got nominated in the first place.

November books

mierke — Thu, 19 Dec 2024 10:23:08 GMT

Late again, but I didn't want to just skip them entirely (though I was tempted, have to admit). The last weeks have been really, really tough.

Best book of this was month was With the Fire on High; a bit surprisingly, because a) I liked this one more than Acevedo's verse novels, while I usually prefer verse over prose and b) preparing food plays such a big part in it, and I hate cooking. XD I just thought the characters were really great, and there was such a rhythm to her writing that it was easy to get wrapped up in.

No true outstandings this month, though (average rating has also gone down, I see, which doesn't surprise me). I also read the sequel to Silver in the Woods (Drowned Country) which I thought didn't live up to the first one at all. It's a good thing Silver in the Woods can stand on its own.

Fic: The water's speaking now, it speaks your name (Hart of Dixie)

mierke — Sat, 30 Nov 2024 13:32:09 GMT

So this is a fic I actually wrote three(!) years ago and then somehow slipped through the cracks. I polished it up and decided to finally post it. I've not really gotten back into the writing habit yet - always one thing or another coming up - but this I could do! An addition to both my 100 fandoms ('water') and 100 ships ('list') challenges.

The water's speaking now, it speaks your name
is a Hart of Dixie fantasy AU. I'm not exactly sure, but it might be the first non-fusion/crossover fantasy AU I've written!

I played with the idea of Zoe belonging in Bluebell by making her a water nymph linked to the creek, and Lemon being a fountain water nymph just easily fit. I don't think it's my best in terms of relationship development, but I think I get away with that since it's fanfic (readers are already invested in the relationship) and I do think I got the voices down pretty well, including Zoe's internal monologue.

Don't ask me where the title come from - the file on my computer already had it. I considered changing it to make this fit with the lyrical title challenge as well, but I thought it fit so well, it would be stupid to change it.

October books

mierke — Wed, 06 Nov 2024 19:23:08 GMT

One day I might post this a little earlier in the month, maybe? Probably not. Today I figured books were as good a place to hide as any. The world is a scary place.

October was not the best month for me, book-wise. Even People kill people was only 22 on my yearly ranking, and that mostly because I thought the ending was really clever. I love verse novels, but Hopkins is often hit or miss for me. She can get very preachy, but I think she managed quite well in this book to find the balance in showing the insidiousness of violence without being overly judgemental about it.
And I either wasn't really in the mood for Kit Rocha's Bound to Fire & Steel series, or it just didn't work as well the second time around, because I wasn't as in love with it as I expect from their books.

New challenge

mierke — Fri, 25 Oct 2024 17:45:07 GMT

A while ago - mid August, to be exact - I signed up for a new prompt challenge, a lyrical title bingo. I have no idea whether I'll manage to fill this one up, but since it's purely title related, it doesn't intervene with any of my other challenges, so why not try? I posted the first fill today (in Dutch, which is why I'm not making a separate post for it), so at least that's a start!

🎶Title Your Fics with Song Lyrics!🎶

Song from a musical	Song with a title one word long	Folk song	Line from the chorus	Song < 2 minutes long
Lyric with "night" or "day	Lyric with "light" or "dark"	Chart-topper	Lyric with "red" "green" or "blue"	Fast song
Song > 7 minutes long	First line of a song	FREE SPACE	70's song	Sad song
Song from a concept album/rock opera	Song in a language other than EnglishAls je wil dan kan je gaan Kinderen geen bezwaar 1,628 words	Lyric with "sleep" or "wake"	Breakup song	Lyric with "love" or "hate"
Song with multiple singers on the track	Song with a color in the title	Song with an article in the title	60's song	Song with a month in the title

September Books

mierke — Mon, 07 Oct 2024 06:38:57 GMT

Late this month, because late September / early October was taken up by a nasty stomach bug which floored both of us for almost a week. That was not fun. It will take a bit longer for my energy to be back to normal (that's been taking more time since I had mono), but at least my bodily functions are mostly back to normal and my brain's working again. One of the hardest parts of being sick for me is always that my issues get back online earlier than my coping mechanisms, so for a couple of days there I was just drowning in despair with nowhere to go.

But! On to the books.

I would, without a doubt, recommend The Lost Story to anyone. It's my absolute favourite book of the year so far (my first six star read this year, I don't give those out freely!). It's about Jeremy and Rafe, who went missing together 15 years ago and now don't even talk anymore - Rafe doesn't remember anything about what happened. And it's about Emilie, who wants Jeremy, who know specialises in finding missing girls to find her missing sister. Little did she know that Jeremy would recognise her sister and take Emilie and Rafe with him through the portal to the world where they spent six months 15 years ago.
It's got everything, it made me cry, made me laugh, has amazing characters, awesome world-building. Structurally, the prose is interspersed with intermissions from the storyteller, which no doubt lots of people hate, but I absolutely adored. It was just perfection.

Fic: In death, there's life (Text Express)

mierke — Fri, 06 Sep 2024 07:39:04 GMT

I wrote new fic, y'all!!

I'm extremely excited about this one, just because a) it's the first thing I've written in a long while, b) it's my first fic for a game! and c) I like writing the first fic for a new fandom on AO3. Oh, and d! A new entry for my 100 fandom project.

In death, there's life
is a Text Express fic.

Text Express is a mobile game and genuinely one of my favourite Word games ever (had to give it up for a while when they implemented forced ads without a one-time payment to get rid of them, just the way-too-expensive subscription - but now they've added such a fee, I happily paid it). It's one of the very, very rare cases where the characters actually mean something to me (I usually don't care about the story in a video game).

This does have some spoilers, though only for the very beginning of the game. In the game, Tilly is living with her grandmother on a sort of island (there's air surrounding them, not water, but same thing really), only connected by a railline. She's working on getting a train fixed up so she can go out and see the world, like her parents before her.
As you start the game, Tilly's grandmother is sick, and she dies just before Tilly can leave. Only- there's no one else there. Someone will have to take care of the body. This is my take on how Tilly might have dealt with that.

August Books

mierke — Sun, 01 Sep 2024 15:56:41 GMT

Stilte heeft een eigen stem (The Fountains of Silence) was really good, y'all. I only picked it because I needed a book with 550-559 pages for a challenge. It's historical fiction and not my thing, but the characters! The way Sepetys wove her story! It was amazing.

Though Qualify was without a doubt the greatest surprise. The best august read - #13 total for this year - and it was a Kindle freebie. And though I'm pretty much done with dystopian fiction and am not really a fan of longer books, I loved this one. The world-building was amazing (sound-based tech! How awesome!). The tension was high pretty much throughout, making this a real page-turner. I loved how the characters all felt real and three dimensional, with relationships being forged even around the MC. I also loved the MC to pieces, despite - or maybe even because of! - a couple of her more annoying tendencies.

Fic: When it feels like this (The Prom)

mierke — Sun, 04 Feb 2024 11:42:05 GMT

I love how somehow Fandom Empire gives me that push to write more (though I still absolutely boggle at the difference between prompt tables and bingo in my mind!) because here I am with another fic!

When it feels like this
is another Alyssa/Emma The Prom story, built around the prompt garage.

It's an alternate first meeting (one of my favourite things to write, really). Emma's working as a mechanic in a shop in the middle of nowhere, when a chance meeting with a client changes her life.

This one built up slowly over the week (I usually write in the morning and my mornings got a bit twisted this week), and then this morning I had to write over half of it with no solid idea of where it would go.
Somehow, though, I gave myself exactly the right base to build on, and I discovered why I had skipped one of the Broadway gang in my vision of this world. I love how that sometimes happens, how it feels like the story reveals itself instead of me writing it. Always makes me feel all Michelangelo-like.

Fic: Cue me in (Don't trust the B)

mierke — Sun, 28 Jan 2024 15:08:41 GMT

Another week, another fic!

Cue me in
is a Don't trust the B story and and alternate first meeting for Chloe and June. In this one, June's finance career got off to a good start, but the male-dominated business leaves her endlessly frustrated. To blow off some steam, she plays pools on Friday nights - and one night, things don't go quite as expected.

I thoroughly confused my YouTube algorithm by watching quite a lot of 8-ball tutorials for this one. Chloe and James were easy to get right, June was a little tougher; she's a little hardened by finance life, and I hope other people think it fits with her character as well.

Two weeks in a row, look at me go!

Fic: Feels like home to me (The Prom)

mierke — Sat, 20 Jan 2024 10:54:20 GMT

I am back at it! With Fandom Empire opening up their latest challenge I thought I'd give it another go, and here I am with my first offering.

Feels like home to me
is a The Prom story in which I imagine a way Emma being kicked out by her parents could have gone.

It's written for the prompt 'Midnight' and I think I managed to hit that spot between the darkness of the canon-typical homophobia and the lightness of hope.

2023 in fics

mierke — Sat, 06 Jan 2024 18:01:22 GMT

In 2023 I wrote*...

~52,000 words!
21 stories, which gives an average of 2,480 per story
Fandoms:
- 4 B99
- 4 The Prom
- 2 Harry Potter
- 2 Dear Evan Hansen°
- 2 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
- 1 CSI
- 1 Vergeet Barbara°
- 1 RENT
- 1 CSI: Vegas (2021)°
- 1 Legally Blonde°
- Crossovers:
  - 1 Buffy/Brooklyn 99
  - 1 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend/Don't Trust the B
Categories:
- 8 Gen stories
- 7 F/F stories
- 6 F/M stories
Language:
- 20 English stories
- 1 Dutch story

I've been pretty good at cross-posting them, too. I think I only missed one:
Five times Hermione kissed Ginny (and the one time it meant something)
which is an Harry Potter fic I wrote for an exchange. It's the first time I used the five times + one format, something I'd be wanting to try since forever, so I'm glad I found a way to do so!

Well, that and the Vergeet Barbara one, but I don't think I've got any Dutch speakers on my flist, so that one was deliberate.

My most popular fics this year were

It Gets Better (Dear Evan Hansen)
Glow (Legally Blonde)
and the aforementioned Five times Hermione kissed Ginny (and the one time it meant something).

It's the first year in a long while my entire top 3 were fics posted that year, which I'm taking as a sign I've been doing great at writing more. In fact, it's the first time since writing it in 2019, that Magnets, my BBT Penny/Sheldon fic, is not in my yearly top 3.

All in all, a pretty good year! Here's to even more writing in 2024!

*I say wrote, I should probably say posted. Let it be clear that with current WIPs and stuff I rejected, I wrote way more than I posted.
°New fandoms added to my Fandom 100 project

Snowflake 2024 1-3

mierke — Sat, 06 Jan 2024 15:37:57 GMT

1. Update your fandom information
This was pretty much still up to date, not much changed in 2023, but I did check it over.

2. Set yourself some goals for the coming year
Not going to call these goals, because that's too demand-y. Instead, my hopes for this year:
- As mentioned in my book post, I want to read more books that were originally written in Dutch
- I hope to be able to catch up with Doctor Who this year
- I would love to be able to add some works to my Fandom 100 project

And, like very year, my only non-fannish goal is to be myself more and more loudly.

3. Create a wish list of fandom things (podfic, graphics, playlists, canon recs translations, research help, vids, sky's the limit!) that you'd like to receive.</b>

- Luna Lovegood fic recs
- Sara/Grissom LJ icon(s)
- Recommendations for epistolary books (or fics!)
- Share your favourite musical albums! I'm not really into the classic musicals; my interest mainly starts around the time of RENT. I also love the music of We Are The Tigers, Daddy Long-Legs ...
- Comments on my fics always make me happy

2023 in books

mierke — Sun, 31 Dec 2023 18:27:43 GMT

I read 127 books in 2023, which is... quite a lot.

Some data:

My main genres were contemporary romance (21%), realistic fiction (20%) and fantasy (16%), which is mostly interesting because I would never label myself a fantasy reader but apparently ... there's enough of it to make the top three!
I DNF'ed 86 books and another 66 ended up on my 'Not for me' list (probably about half of those I tried and half I knew based on certain aspects in the reviews/summary were just not my thing). I'm pretty proud of that, actually! I decided to try and spend as little time as possible on books I don't truly enjoy, so I try to DNF anything that might end up in 3 stars or less, unless there's a really good reason to finish it (specific challenge I was having trouble with, a Tailored Book Recommendations rec ...). About 30 of the books I read ended up being 3 stars or less and I ended up with an average rating of 3.9. Not bad!
The oldest book I read was from 1782 (Riskante relaties, or Les Liasons Dangereuses, also incidentally the longest book I read this year - took me just over 6 hours!).
The newest book I read was Consort of Fire by Kit Rocha, my only instant-buy author, and was published November 28, 2023.
I read 73 standalones and 33 starts to a new series (most of which I will never continue, because I am not the greatest at following series and/or because they weren't worth reading the second part XD).
I also finished 7 series and read the last currently available book in two more. A book from two of those series ended up in my top 10.
I read from 57 (Punk 57, incidentally the worst book I read this year) to 63 (De hel van '63) in my sequential numbers project. I usually aim for 10/year, so that's a little low, but I just put a hold on 64, so I'll be able to start off the new year well!
Almost 60% of the books I read were from the USA. My aim for 2024 is to lower that percentage and to up my percentage for books that were originally written in Dutch (currently lying at 9%), though that's going to be tough. I've collected various resources over the years to collect books I want to read based on their release in the US (and that's not even mentioning things like ~~Riveted~~ Simon Teen's free reads), and it's been tough finding good resources for more local books. Even though I definitely do not believe Dutch/Belgian books are intrinsically worse than American ones, the fact remains that it's easier to find well-written US books (average rating of 4.1 for 2023) than Dutch books (average rating of 2.7 for 2023), just because I know that market so much better.
Though it's not at all significant, I still thought it funny that two tropes repeated itself over the year: I read two fake bachelor shows (The Charm Offensive and If the shoe fits) and two Groundhog Day-style YA romances (If I See You Again Tomorrow and See You Yesterday).
8 of the books in my top 10 have queer components (unsurprisingly).
And speaking of that top 10, before I go into it, I want to give a special shout-out to Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow for being a romance novel about a friendship.

Time for my top 10!

10. Marianne Cronin - De honderd jaar van Lenni en Margot
The One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot - translated by Marion Drolsbach - realistic fiction (Adult)

Lenni (17) is dying. At the hospital she meets and quickly becomes friends with Margot (83). They decide to draw a painting for each one of their years of life. Lenni's story is intertwined with Margot's memories, and it's a book that will make you smile as much as it will make you cry. I thought it very therapeutic.

9. T.J. Klune - Het gefluister achter de deur
Under the Whispering Door - translated by Anneke Bok & Claudia De Poorter - magical realism (A)

Wallace has died. He ends up in a sort of halfway house, where he struggles with accepting the fact that he's dead, and where he, for the first time in his existence, forges connections.

I also read Klune's The House in the Cerulean Sea sea this year, but didn't think that one lived up to the hype. Under the Whispering Door, though, really spoke to me, in both the world and the characters Klune created.

8. Hannah Moskowitz - Teeth
fantasy (Young Adult)

Rudy (16) is pulled along with his family to the middle of nowhere, where magical fish can save his brother with cystic fibrosis. There, loneliness drives him into the arms of Teeth, a half-fish, half-human who turns Rudy's entire life upside down.

Ever since reading Gena/Finn, I've wanted to read more of Moskowitz' writing, and this year I finally managed. Teeth is a short one (took me just under 2 hours) but it totally destroyed me.

7. A.R. Capetta - The Heartbreak Bakery
contemporary romance/magical realism (YA)

Syd (17, agender, no pronouns please) is reeling from a breakup and ends up putting all those feelings in brownies ... which start breaking people up, including the owners of the most important part of Austin - the Proud Muffin bakery. Together with cute delivery person Harley, Syd sets out to get those couples back together with more magical bakes - and learns quite a bit about love and what it means along the way.

After the heartbreak from book 10-8, The Heartbreak Bakery is - ironically enough - a ray of sunshine. Joy radiated from every page, it was such a delight! It's also the queerest of my already very queer top 10.

6. L.D. Lapinski - Reisbureau Wereldvreemd
The Strangeworlds Travel Agency (Strangeworlds Travel Agency #1) - translated by Mechteld Jansen - fantasy (Middle Grade)

Flick (12) learns she can travel through worlds and goes on an adventure when she discovers the multiverse is in trouble. I raved about this series before and I stand by it. It is so magical and wonderful.

5. Ali Hazelwood - De liefdeshypothese
The Love Hypothesis - translated by Marjet Schumacher - contemporary romance (A)

This one snuck in just before the deadline - I read it on 18 December. Fake dating! A grump with a big heart! This one apparently started its life as a Reylo fic, and it retained everything that makes me such an avid fic reader. This one had me happy stimming so much that I had to get up and grab a glass of water just to regulate myself.

4. A. J. Hackwith - The Library of the Unwritten
Hell's Library #1 - fantasy (A)

A book about a library full of unwritten books, I mean, could anyone resist? Aside from that, this got amazing characters, is centred on the concept of storytelling and the power of belief and great world-building. I'd freely recommend this to anyone who likes Good Omens, especially because of the way heaven is depicted, which reminds me so much of both GO itself as a lot of its fanfic.

(This is the first part of a series, but our library didn't have the second part, so I can't yet vouch for the rest of it.)

3. Rainbow Rowell - Eleanor & Park
contemporary romance (YA)

This book, set in 1986 (does that make it historical romance?), had a very profound effect on me. I loved this one too much to even be able to put it into words. It made giddy with joy. It made me cry. It touched me so deeply. I loved every minute spent with it. I love the characters, I love the way they love, I love all the comics and music stuff.

2. V.E. Schwab - The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue
fantasy (A)

Addie La Rue, an 18th century French woman, made a deal with the devil for freedom and becomes something of a ghost - any kind of doorway, and the person she is talking to forgets ever meeting her. Over the course of 300 years, she adapts to life, to Luc - the devil -, until eventually her world sharpens and someone does remember her.

This one came as a total surprise for me. I DNF'ed another of Schwab's books. It's a bit longer than I'm easily comfortable with. It's also the most popular book of the books I read this year, which is rarely an endorsement. But the premise turned out to be too promising for me to pass it up, and I loved it so much. Not many books have this much to say about the beauty of living or about leaving a mark on the world.

1. Jennifer Lynn Barnes - The Final Gambit
The Inheritance Games #3 - mystery (YA)

I hesitated for the longest time between 1 and 2, but eventually this one won, because it's so hard to write the last part in a trilogy (I mean, sure, Barnes has written a fourth part, but this is still very much a conclusion to the trilogy) and still have it be so amazing.

I devoured this series. I'm not even a mystery reader! But the characters, the choices, the riddles, it all held me in its thrall, even in this final instalment. A fine winner in a good book year!

Fic: So Happy Together (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

mierke — Sat, 12 Aug 2023 13:43:54 GMT

After last times not-all-that-happy-fic, my third entry for the 100 Ships challenge is something very different.

So happy together
is a friendship fic, focusing on Jake & Charles. Charles asked Jake for his help, and things don't go quite as expected (do they ever?).

It's very light-hearted, dialogue-heavy and pretty different from my usual stuff, but I had a lot of fun writing it!

Fic: Untethered (CSI)

mierke — Mon, 24 Jul 2023 16:40:44 GMT

My second entry for the 100 Ships challenge is a CSI fic. This one kind of flowed out of my fingers, the emotions finding their way into words.

Untethered
starts with Sara, alone, waiting, for Grissom to come back, and not expecting him to come back at all. I'm calling it canon-adjacent; it's not really AU, but it's not canon either.

I'm quite proud of the atmosphere in this one. I think I did well.

Fic: Change of Plans (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

mierke — Wed, 12 Jul 2023 13:45:51 GMT

My Fandom Empire fic is here! Possibly the only one for this round, though who knows, I've got time until the end of the month.

Eventually what seemed to work for me, was treating the various bingo patterns as a sort of chapter outline for a fic. After figuring that one out, the story got so much easier to write, and most delays after that were due to heatwaves and the fact that I really wanted to finish my Vergeet Barbara fic before the musical ended (eventually ended up posting it the day after, which, you know, not bad! Didn't link to that one here 'cause it's in Dutch).

That is how I wrote
Change of Plans
a Brooklyn Nine-Nine, pre-Amy/Jake fic, of six chapters, each just over 1,000 words. Amy's life is happily on track and she presumes Teddy is close to proposing - that is in her life plan after all - when suddenly she meets Jake and her entire world is thrown into perspective.