Time After Time, for Petra
Title - Time After Time
Fandom - Twitch City
Recipient -
petronelle
Author -clionaeilis
Rating - PG
Length - 2500-3000 words
Summary - Picking up immediately from the last scene of Twitch City (early 2000), a series of vignettes leading up to just past present day (late 2009) reveal the continuing adventures of Curtis, Hope and Newbie.
Notes - Twitch City is a cracked fandom, that does funny things to my head when I write it - I hope you like the way TC twisted my brain this time around!
Ten Seconds After
Curtis leaned over and popped in a video. Hope watched him as she sipped her cooca. "I thought maybe we could watch that safari documentary? The one with the lemurs?" Curtis shook his head as he settled back under the blankets. "The chase scenes are cliched and derivative. Can't complete with classic Rex. 'I Love My Limbs, But Not My Lover'? Come on, it's no contest." She gave him a half-smile and nodded her head. "I suppose. The lions always win, it's true." Hope looped her arm around his and snuggled closer.
Ten Minutes After
"Hey, special delivery!" The flapdoor clattered open and Newbie's head popped out from the top of the attic ladder. "Wow, love what you did to the - yeah, yeah, quit your whining, I'm going, I'm going!" He skidded a small cardboard box across a beam and pulled himself the rest of the way through. "Man, your landlady is, I don't know, permanently cranky or something." Newbie scooted over to sit cross-legged in front of them, right in between. "Ooh, this is a good one - wait, did you pick it?" He turned towards Hope, waggling his eyebrows. "Ssshhh! This is the best part," Curtis snapped. Hope shook her head no, then gesticulated towards Newbie's gift. He reached without moving his eyes from the screen, and deposited the box in her lap. "The usual - cereal, some canned food, bottled water, cat food - figured you might need it." Hope looked around. "Where is Lucky?"
Ten Hours After
Hope woke up with a shiver and a sleepy scowl. "Of course Newbie is a blanket hog," she thought to herself as she fixed the covers, then turned over to face Curtis. He sighed and drew her closer, still deeply asleep. She tucked herself against his chest and placed her hand above his hip, just below Newbie's pinkie finger. She could feel the heat radiating off him. Curtis was right, it was like having a life-sized bed warmer - tomorrow, if they could convince him to stay another night, she was going to make sure Newbie spooned behind her instead. She stretched out her left leg, and felt a weight at the bottom of the sheet. "Lucky?" she mumbled. Her toes found a damp spot, and she craned her neck to glance down to make sure the cat was alright. Instead Hope found a two inch drift of snow. She looked up and watched as more flakes tumbled through a small gap in the roof. "Oh, my god."
Ten Days After
It took several hours of intense negotiation, but Hope was finally able to strike a deal with Mrs. Chintro. Later that night, she and Curtis moved down from the attic and into Hope’s old room. The next day she reported to work, down the hall in the illegal daycare set up in the living room. Within three weeks she had been vomited on five times and peed on once, had combed banana, oatmeal and jellybeans out of her hair, and changed 47 diapers. By then Curtis had cycled through the entire Rex Reilly catalogue. What happened next was inevitable.
The Chintros were devout Catholics. So when the convulsing began, they called their church. Hope tried to get them to understand that it wasn’t demonic possession, but then Curtis started bellowing in the hallway for Father Mulcahy, which happened to be their priest’s name. Newbie only made things worse when he showed up and started wrestling Curtis down. This combined with his all black wardrobe led the Chintros to believe Newbie was an exorcist, even though he would pause every now and then and tell Hope that he "shot a man in Reno” or he “fell into a burning ring of fire”.
That’s how Hope found out Newbie had been using country music to kick his TV addiction, with the side-effect of developing an obsession with Johnny Cash. (Later he would expand that to include the entire Cash and Carter families, because he wanted to broaden his interests.) Things finally started looking up for Hope when the wall by the dryer started thumping. She smiled and breathed a sigh of relief – Lucky had slunk out almost two weeks ago, and Hope had been sure she was gone for good. “Curtis, you hear that? She’s come home!” Mrs. Chintro backed away from Hope and crossed herself, then barked something in Portuguese which made the whole family scurry into their bedrooms. “Who’d have thought believed ya, right here where we need ya,” Curtis gargled out as he writhed under Newbie’s half-nelson grip.
Two things about the move would always stick out in Hope’s mind. The first was how much stuff the Chintros had managed to cram into the place, on top of the eight family members and the 11 babies and toddlers during the day. It was like every room was a clown car, with more and more jammed behind each successive door. The second thing that amazed Hope about that move was how quickly all those people, with all that stuff, managed to clear out of there so fast. That night Newbie made dinner in the kitchen while Hope moved the bed back to the big room, and then they sat in the hallway eating tuna surprise on rice cakes until Curtis screamed himself to sleep.
Ten Weeks After
"Curtis. The room doesn't have a door. We can't - wait, how about, I'll keep the closet, but I'll pay you, okay?" Hope stood in the living room, well into the negotiation phase of another argument. "But that defeats the purpose, " Curtis sighed a few moments later, placing the empty cereal bowl down on the overturned crate. "I'm trying to build a life for us, the best I know how - and if we move in here, we can rent out a third room. New revenue stream." Hope let her arm fall back against her side. Late winter was a bad time to be looking for work, and she had had little success. It was hard to argue with Curtis' relentless logic. "But what about privacy?"
Newbie looked up from the monitor he had set up perpendicular to the television and scratched his stomach. "I can grab one tomorrow - they got a stash of old doors, in the store, in the basement." He suddenly pulled at his t-shirt. "All our base doors are belong to you," he cackled. Hope threw up her hands in surrender. "Ever since you got that thing, you make less sense than Curtis," she said. "Fine. We'll move into the living room, but - But." She paused until Curtis looked up from the TV. "I do this only if Newbie moves in, too." Both men startled, all attention now on Hope.
"I didn't want to have this conversation quite like this," she began, "but, okay, you know Curtis - you've said this yourself - you're not the best boyfriend, all the time. And Newbie, I know you like me, and lately you're here half the day everyday, and that's good, it's fine, I like you too." Her voice softened as she spoke, looking into one then the other's eyes. "I just think, together - you're my ideal man," quickly adding, "and you know, now that Newbie's got his computer you two never fight anymore - admit it, you're both each other's best roommates, right?"
Curtis looked at Newbie. Newbie looked at Hope. Hope focused on the water stain over the couch. Newbie looked at Curtis. Curtis looked at Hope. Hope decided the stain wasn't from a leak but poorly done faux finishing. Curtis and Newbie looked at each other. "Well," Curtis started. "Cool. Does that mean I could cook sometimes, too?" Newbie asked. "Sold," Curtis said. He stood up and leaned over, extending his hand to Newbie. "Welcome to the family."
Ten Months After
For once, Hope would not budge on her position. Losing Steph so quickly had been a blow, and she was not going to let either Curtis or Newbie convince her otherwise. "Okay, I'm going to put more flyers up. I'll be back in a half-hour." She grabbed her coat and headed down the stairs and out the door. Newbie poked Curtis in the shoulder. "I told you. She's gone to find more lesbians." Curtis swatted Newbie's hand away and tried to focus on moving the cursor. "She's just being thorough - trying to avoid picking another fascist, probably." He let out a grunt and sat back. "This is so stupid, there should be a remote, instead of this mouse thing."
He watched as Newbie navigated back to the original website. "I don't see how you think this is better than television - it's so much work. TV just - click and it's all there for you, giving itself away." Newbie squatted down and bumped Curtis' hip until they were both sharing the chair, and went back to his earlier posting and surfing. "You know, yesterday she went to a women's softball game," Newbie said a few minutes later. Curtis leaned in a bit, watching the screen more closely. "Is that http bit like an address, so every site has a fixed place, kind of thing on the web?" Newbie nodded, "Um, kinda - it's ...well, yeah. Yeah."
Curtis nodded, then nudged Newbie's hand away from the mouse to try his hand again. "Even if she is searching for lesbians, I'm sure it's just business," he said as he typed in 'http: // www. kensingtonmarket. com'. "What does that mean, that there's nothing at that address yet?" He pointed at the computer screen. Newbie scratched his head. "I don't know. You'd think she'd be all, you know," he swung his arms and twisted his hips, dancing in place, "having two guys instead of the regular one, right? But, so, what if we've created a monster, and now she just wants - more?" He grabbed back control of the mouse. "Yeah, there's billions and billions of possible addresses you could make up, you know - so lots of times there's no there yet." He brought up the University of Toronto page. "You looking for something in the city?"
"She was pretty fond of Steph. I figured it was because she fixed the roof - that's why I liked her. So who owns the addresses that aren't being used?" Curtis asked.
"Hey, I helped a lot with that, you know, and it was my idea to put the extra doors down as floorboards. Besides, half the time, Hope was up there talking Steph's ear off while I was slaving away, so - she wasn't all that DIY." Newbie navigated back to Something Awful. "That's a good question. I don't know. I think you can just make 'em and claim them." Newbie leaned forward to read the latest entries. "Hey, maybe we tell her if she rents gay, it has to be to a couple - some of those doorknob gaps, I didn't fill in, you know..." Curtis just leaned back and considered his options. "New revenue streams," he murmured a little later. By then Newbie had switched to porn, and was past conversation.
That night Hope came home to find the living room strewn with paper, all made up of lists of names and places. A week later Cecile, Big Mamma's right wing and co-captain, moved in. It took her three hours to find the peephole. Newbie had to wear a patch for two weeks until his orbital socket healed. Cecile couldn't believe a woman as beautiful as Hope would settle for such goofballs, and told her so, often. Curtis started shaving twice a day, and convinced Wan-Mei to get him some Old Spice soap. Newbie learned how to bake cookies. Hope couldn't believe a plan of hers had finally come off without a hitch.
Nearly Ten Years Gone
"What do you mean, you want to move?"
"You can't be serious. It's more crowded now then when we lived in the attic!"
"But we didn't know everybody like we do now - it's family, families are supposed to be close."
"That's only on TV, not real life. Besides, we can actually afford it - we're rich, remember?"
"The money doesn't matter, that's not the point - we're happy here, as is."
"It's making me crazy, everywhere I go, there's people, all talking at me - I can't get anything done."
"You have the whole attic to yourself - you have more room than anybody else!"
"It's not just that, it's all the noise - I can't ever just listen only to what I want, it's endless!"
"Oh, my god - Craig and Patti did nothing but scream when they were babies, but it's only NOW that you can't take the noise?"
"It's a cumulative reaction, Hope. I know, I know - believe me, I'm as shocked as you are, but I have got to get out of here!"
"Outside? Does this mean - my god, are you cured, is that what you're telling me?"
"I - I don't know, I...maybe, I haven't tested it yet. It's just this - yearning kind of feeling."
"Curtis, I'm so proud of you, that's so wonderful! Newbie!"
"He knows I told - "
"Okay, so Curtis I think I found us a nice place, it's just over - that away, couple of streets, then down. Biggish yard - hey Hope. Are we bringing the lesbians with us?"
Fandom - Twitch City
Recipient -
petronelleAuthor -
clionaeilisRating - PG
Length - 2500-3000 words
Summary - Picking up immediately from the last scene of Twitch City (early 2000), a series of vignettes leading up to just past present day (late 2009) reveal the continuing adventures of Curtis, Hope and Newbie.
Notes - Twitch City is a cracked fandom, that does funny things to my head when I write it - I hope you like the way TC twisted my brain this time around!
Ten Seconds After
Curtis leaned over and popped in a video. Hope watched him as she sipped her cooca. "I thought maybe we could watch that safari documentary? The one with the lemurs?" Curtis shook his head as he settled back under the blankets. "The chase scenes are cliched and derivative. Can't complete with classic Rex. 'I Love My Limbs, But Not My Lover'? Come on, it's no contest." She gave him a half-smile and nodded her head. "I suppose. The lions always win, it's true." Hope looped her arm around his and snuggled closer.
Ten Minutes After
"Hey, special delivery!" The flapdoor clattered open and Newbie's head popped out from the top of the attic ladder. "Wow, love what you did to the - yeah, yeah, quit your whining, I'm going, I'm going!" He skidded a small cardboard box across a beam and pulled himself the rest of the way through. "Man, your landlady is, I don't know, permanently cranky or something." Newbie scooted over to sit cross-legged in front of them, right in between. "Ooh, this is a good one - wait, did you pick it?" He turned towards Hope, waggling his eyebrows. "Ssshhh! This is the best part," Curtis snapped. Hope shook her head no, then gesticulated towards Newbie's gift. He reached without moving his eyes from the screen, and deposited the box in her lap. "The usual - cereal, some canned food, bottled water, cat food - figured you might need it." Hope looked around. "Where is Lucky?"
Ten Hours After
Hope woke up with a shiver and a sleepy scowl. "Of course Newbie is a blanket hog," she thought to herself as she fixed the covers, then turned over to face Curtis. He sighed and drew her closer, still deeply asleep. She tucked herself against his chest and placed her hand above his hip, just below Newbie's pinkie finger. She could feel the heat radiating off him. Curtis was right, it was like having a life-sized bed warmer - tomorrow, if they could convince him to stay another night, she was going to make sure Newbie spooned behind her instead. She stretched out her left leg, and felt a weight at the bottom of the sheet. "Lucky?" she mumbled. Her toes found a damp spot, and she craned her neck to glance down to make sure the cat was alright. Instead Hope found a two inch drift of snow. She looked up and watched as more flakes tumbled through a small gap in the roof. "Oh, my god."
Ten Days After
It took several hours of intense negotiation, but Hope was finally able to strike a deal with Mrs. Chintro. Later that night, she and Curtis moved down from the attic and into Hope’s old room. The next day she reported to work, down the hall in the illegal daycare set up in the living room. Within three weeks she had been vomited on five times and peed on once, had combed banana, oatmeal and jellybeans out of her hair, and changed 47 diapers. By then Curtis had cycled through the entire Rex Reilly catalogue. What happened next was inevitable.
The Chintros were devout Catholics. So when the convulsing began, they called their church. Hope tried to get them to understand that it wasn’t demonic possession, but then Curtis started bellowing in the hallway for Father Mulcahy, which happened to be their priest’s name. Newbie only made things worse when he showed up and started wrestling Curtis down. This combined with his all black wardrobe led the Chintros to believe Newbie was an exorcist, even though he would pause every now and then and tell Hope that he "shot a man in Reno” or he “fell into a burning ring of fire”.
That’s how Hope found out Newbie had been using country music to kick his TV addiction, with the side-effect of developing an obsession with Johnny Cash. (Later he would expand that to include the entire Cash and Carter families, because he wanted to broaden his interests.) Things finally started looking up for Hope when the wall by the dryer started thumping. She smiled and breathed a sigh of relief – Lucky had slunk out almost two weeks ago, and Hope had been sure she was gone for good. “Curtis, you hear that? She’s come home!” Mrs. Chintro backed away from Hope and crossed herself, then barked something in Portuguese which made the whole family scurry into their bedrooms. “Who’d have thought believed ya, right here where we need ya,” Curtis gargled out as he writhed under Newbie’s half-nelson grip.
Two things about the move would always stick out in Hope’s mind. The first was how much stuff the Chintros had managed to cram into the place, on top of the eight family members and the 11 babies and toddlers during the day. It was like every room was a clown car, with more and more jammed behind each successive door. The second thing that amazed Hope about that move was how quickly all those people, with all that stuff, managed to clear out of there so fast. That night Newbie made dinner in the kitchen while Hope moved the bed back to the big room, and then they sat in the hallway eating tuna surprise on rice cakes until Curtis screamed himself to sleep.
Ten Weeks After
"Curtis. The room doesn't have a door. We can't - wait, how about, I'll keep the closet, but I'll pay you, okay?" Hope stood in the living room, well into the negotiation phase of another argument. "But that defeats the purpose, " Curtis sighed a few moments later, placing the empty cereal bowl down on the overturned crate. "I'm trying to build a life for us, the best I know how - and if we move in here, we can rent out a third room. New revenue stream." Hope let her arm fall back against her side. Late winter was a bad time to be looking for work, and she had had little success. It was hard to argue with Curtis' relentless logic. "But what about privacy?"
Newbie looked up from the monitor he had set up perpendicular to the television and scratched his stomach. "I can grab one tomorrow - they got a stash of old doors, in the store, in the basement." He suddenly pulled at his t-shirt. "All our base doors are belong to you," he cackled. Hope threw up her hands in surrender. "Ever since you got that thing, you make less sense than Curtis," she said. "Fine. We'll move into the living room, but - But." She paused until Curtis looked up from the TV. "I do this only if Newbie moves in, too." Both men startled, all attention now on Hope.
"I didn't want to have this conversation quite like this," she began, "but, okay, you know Curtis - you've said this yourself - you're not the best boyfriend, all the time. And Newbie, I know you like me, and lately you're here half the day everyday, and that's good, it's fine, I like you too." Her voice softened as she spoke, looking into one then the other's eyes. "I just think, together - you're my ideal man," quickly adding, "and you know, now that Newbie's got his computer you two never fight anymore - admit it, you're both each other's best roommates, right?"
Curtis looked at Newbie. Newbie looked at Hope. Hope focused on the water stain over the couch. Newbie looked at Curtis. Curtis looked at Hope. Hope decided the stain wasn't from a leak but poorly done faux finishing. Curtis and Newbie looked at each other. "Well," Curtis started. "Cool. Does that mean I could cook sometimes, too?" Newbie asked. "Sold," Curtis said. He stood up and leaned over, extending his hand to Newbie. "Welcome to the family."
Ten Months After
For once, Hope would not budge on her position. Losing Steph so quickly had been a blow, and she was not going to let either Curtis or Newbie convince her otherwise. "Okay, I'm going to put more flyers up. I'll be back in a half-hour." She grabbed her coat and headed down the stairs and out the door. Newbie poked Curtis in the shoulder. "I told you. She's gone to find more lesbians." Curtis swatted Newbie's hand away and tried to focus on moving the cursor. "She's just being thorough - trying to avoid picking another fascist, probably." He let out a grunt and sat back. "This is so stupid, there should be a remote, instead of this mouse thing."
He watched as Newbie navigated back to the original website. "I don't see how you think this is better than television - it's so much work. TV just - click and it's all there for you, giving itself away." Newbie squatted down and bumped Curtis' hip until they were both sharing the chair, and went back to his earlier posting and surfing. "You know, yesterday she went to a women's softball game," Newbie said a few minutes later. Curtis leaned in a bit, watching the screen more closely. "Is that http bit like an address, so every site has a fixed place, kind of thing on the web?" Newbie nodded, "Um, kinda - it's ...well, yeah. Yeah."
Curtis nodded, then nudged Newbie's hand away from the mouse to try his hand again. "Even if she is searching for lesbians, I'm sure it's just business," he said as he typed in 'http: // www. kensingtonmarket. com'. "What does that mean, that there's nothing at that address yet?" He pointed at the computer screen. Newbie scratched his head. "I don't know. You'd think she'd be all, you know," he swung his arms and twisted his hips, dancing in place, "having two guys instead of the regular one, right? But, so, what if we've created a monster, and now she just wants - more?" He grabbed back control of the mouse. "Yeah, there's billions and billions of possible addresses you could make up, you know - so lots of times there's no there yet." He brought up the University of Toronto page. "You looking for something in the city?"
"She was pretty fond of Steph. I figured it was because she fixed the roof - that's why I liked her. So who owns the addresses that aren't being used?" Curtis asked.
"Hey, I helped a lot with that, you know, and it was my idea to put the extra doors down as floorboards. Besides, half the time, Hope was up there talking Steph's ear off while I was slaving away, so - she wasn't all that DIY." Newbie navigated back to Something Awful. "That's a good question. I don't know. I think you can just make 'em and claim them." Newbie leaned forward to read the latest entries. "Hey, maybe we tell her if she rents gay, it has to be to a couple - some of those doorknob gaps, I didn't fill in, you know..." Curtis just leaned back and considered his options. "New revenue streams," he murmured a little later. By then Newbie had switched to porn, and was past conversation.
That night Hope came home to find the living room strewn with paper, all made up of lists of names and places. A week later Cecile, Big Mamma's right wing and co-captain, moved in. It took her three hours to find the peephole. Newbie had to wear a patch for two weeks until his orbital socket healed. Cecile couldn't believe a woman as beautiful as Hope would settle for such goofballs, and told her so, often. Curtis started shaving twice a day, and convinced Wan-Mei to get him some Old Spice soap. Newbie learned how to bake cookies. Hope couldn't believe a plan of hers had finally come off without a hitch.
Nearly Ten Years Gone
"What do you mean, you want to move?"
"You can't be serious. It's more crowded now then when we lived in the attic!"
"But we didn't know everybody like we do now - it's family, families are supposed to be close."
"That's only on TV, not real life. Besides, we can actually afford it - we're rich, remember?"
"The money doesn't matter, that's not the point - we're happy here, as is."
"It's making me crazy, everywhere I go, there's people, all talking at me - I can't get anything done."
"You have the whole attic to yourself - you have more room than anybody else!"
"It's not just that, it's all the noise - I can't ever just listen only to what I want, it's endless!"
"Oh, my god - Craig and Patti did nothing but scream when they were babies, but it's only NOW that you can't take the noise?"
"It's a cumulative reaction, Hope. I know, I know - believe me, I'm as shocked as you are, but I have got to get out of here!"
"Outside? Does this mean - my god, are you cured, is that what you're telling me?"
"I - I don't know, I...maybe, I haven't tested it yet. It's just this - yearning kind of feeling."
"Curtis, I'm so proud of you, that's so wonderful! Newbie!"
"He knows I told - "
"Okay, so Curtis I think I found us a nice place, it's just over - that away, couple of streets, then down. Biggish yard - hey Hope. Are we bringing the lesbians with us?"