Kings fight for empires, madmen for applause

Meme

melts — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 03:43:37 GMT

This looked interesting, so! Taken from rukawagf

The test here :o

Diagnosis
Quiet and very self-assured, you tend to keep your own council. Pragmatic and practical to a fault, you are not one to worry about the finer points of philosophical discourse. In fact, because you are very much an individualist, you often finds yourself at odds with the established truth or the wishes of the majority. You will often earn the wrath of an employer by taking upon yourself decisions which are rightly those of your manager. You are not one to take credit unless it is deserved. Similarly however, you will also not happily give credit where it is not due. In a romantic relationship you can be very frustrating. While you do care deeply and sincerely, and are willing to work at a relationship, your confidence in your own abilities can on occasion make it difficult to see the world from a partner’s point of view. Quiet and stoic at times, you can drive a more emotional individual completely up the wall. You can become overstressed and fatigued without knowing it. Taking time to rest between bouts of hard work can help to prevent a breakdown later on.

HAPPY NEW YEAR (almost)

melts — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 23:57:33 GMT

Happy New Year's Eve! XD

First half of 2010 was awesome to me so I'm sad to see it go, or something. Second half? AHAHAH oh god I soooorta wish it never happened =A=; Health finally went full-on berserk (hence the whole semi-wishing it never happened xD) but eh, I'm still alive and the fall semester ended on a high note, so \o/! I also stopped RPing (sort of without meaning to, but lol um okay guess life happened, as it always does? I don't even know wtf happened in that department, man) and cut back (KIND OF XD) on cosplaying.

Although the whole cutting back on cosplaying thing was more or less involuntary, since well, health interfered with ycon xDD;;; AH WELL

I'm REALLY looking forward to month of January/2011 in general, nevertheless! First there's school starting and then there's the trip to NYC. Fuck yeah /o/ I've already talked about this lots, haha, but YES SO EXCITED.

Since it's (almost) the new year and all, if you have anything to say to me but haven't had a chance to do so (god knows I don't go on AIM anymore xD), feel free to do that right here anonymously. IP logging is also off. Get it off your chest! No worries, I have thick skin. Idea taken from slave_to_anime.

melts — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 07:04:56 GMT

I must be dreaming
Or we're onto something
I must be dreaming
For i don't fall in love lawlessly
I must be dreaming
Or pinch me to waking
So undeniably yours
As long as i'm losing it so completely

Incendiary glance
Be come and collide in me
Zoom in enhance hold
While i go helplessly sky high
Magic eye sugar rushing don't stop

I must be dreaming
Or we're onto something
Hey just watcha make me
For i don't fall in love lawlessly
I must be dreaming
Or pinch me to waking
So undeniably yours
As long as i'm losing it so completely.

*A* Man I really like "Must be Dreaming" by Frou Frou, haha.

AND FUCK YEAH DONE WITH THIS FINAL SEASON.

meme time

melts — Wed, 12 May 2010 03:07:27 GMT

Taken from blackjackie999 and nerdcore

♕ 100+ things that make me happy ♕

...Will do this while studying orz.

Mmm hash browns

melts — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:40:17 GMT

Yayyyy Spring Break *A*! Insert excitement here, etc etc. Apparently a lot of people made plans to travel during break, but lol no thanks for me. I'M GETTING OLD AND WANT MY REST. ~~and I have to study or else I'll feel guilty FML.~~

Oh. I have a Formspring. http://www.formspring.me/mookuran LOL I think I did it just because mookuran sounds funny >_>; DON'T JUDGE ME I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT THINKING STRAIGHT.

This weekend was extra fun, though! Ran into some school friends while out running errands and studying, and then it was i_s_l_a_n_d_rp's 4th wall day *_*. I haven't tagged this much since forever, lol.

Annnnd Bansai wig came in! I'm excited and will mess with it sometime this week.

Life is pretty good, yeah. ♥ ~~UNTIL FINALS ROLL AROUND NEXT MONTH AHHHHH.~~

HAHA why not

melts — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 03:56:20 GMT

anon meme

I think the last time I did anything remotely like an anon meme was uh. ... .... 3 years ago? Too long ago to remember, basically, lol.

HOKAY back to studying.

And will get to see Shutter Island tomorrow! Whether it's good or bad, hey, it's directed by Scorsese \O_o/

~~Edit: I don't know why it's doing this to my fucking font.~~ yay fixed!

...ANNOUNCEMENT PART DOS

melts — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 20:35:56 GMT

SEPHTASTIC --> MELTS

XO Yes I renamed again. This time with the right spelling ahahahah -A-; I have no idea how I missed that. What an awesome way to start a new LJ... something xD Not as delicious as a Starbucks drink, but teehee *_*

SO DO NOT BE ALARMED. Or something. SOB.

HOKAY thank goodness today is a holiday apsdifuspdo ahhhh can sleep in.

PROCEED WITH YOUR TYPICAL DAILY LIVES 8D

Oops getting back into old(er) series

melts — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 01:41:01 GMT

Hm. I think I accidentally took on too many courses this semester. Oh well.

Also, useless entry = A+, so here, have a meme stolen from starswing *_*.

things SEPHY would never say

Birthday Post

melts — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 21:11:49 GMT

Happy birthday to heartlaced! *A* Hope your day is filled with moe things like your moe and adorable self *_* ! Brb selling you-- I mean.

melts — Sun, 03 May 2009 05:21:17 GMT

It's not yet midnight on the west coast!

Happy birthday to yuriranch! Hope your day was filled with lots of symmetrical docking, nice things that you always give out to others, and a personal harem of your own choosing! :O

Edit: Oh right. And pizza!

Aha, sorry for the double post today

melts — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 02:29:59 GMT

Sorry, friends cut.

Some were deleted/dead/moved journals, some were just people that I don't talk to anymore, some are just people I skip over anyway, some we've just lost touch. I ... prefer to actually know who's reading my entries, so!

Comments screeened if you have anything to say.

GOD WHY XO

melts — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 04:57:29 GMT

APSDIUFAPOSFIOPSIDUGFOPASUDFDPOAIDGPOAISUDFPOIASDF

DAMN YOU, metinkgb XOOOOOOOO

EVERYONE ON FLIST SUFFER WITH ME AND than XOOOOOOOOO

Still the best pic ever

melts — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 23:42:53 GMT

Seriously. Pictures > words.

:(((((((! I think we all feel like Dino in that pic sometimes XD

Clearly I am being productive. ~~STFU reviewing constitutional law makes me feel like that. :\~~

Happy Chinese New Year! ...Well it's tomorrow but.

Edit: ....WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID MY COUSIN BUY A CHICKEN APODIFAPSDOIYGASPDOUFIASIDPOGYPOIADS.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY FAMILY XO

At least they're extended so I'm not really related to them >_>

Edit 2:

XOOOO oath won't believe me BUT I'M TELLING YOU THAT'S KANJI ~~TYL~~ 50 YEARS LATER XOOOOO

GET OFF MAH LAWN OR I'LL RENOVATE YOUR ASS :O

WHAT THE DOUCHE - lol pic spam

melts — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 23:22:17 GMT

Lololol styled Lulu's wig for ycon. First time cyperous wig was being uncooperative! ... It was fine when I wore it when ... I first got it. But then it got poofier and poofier, doh. Soooo cutting and hairspray = was in order.

LELOUCH PRACTICES HIS KIRA KIRA POSE JUST FOR SUZAKU. ...And then he was not impressed. :\

Picture Post

melts — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 21:01:02 GMT

*_* Because pictures > words.

Also because these ones still make me laugh like a 'tard.

HI SUP GUYS :DDDDD Raep face D:

DENIED :|!

apsdifuasdpfoiudspfaopsdofiuspd AHHHHH JUMP ULTIMATE STARS IS AN ADDICTING GAME. XD

But no thanks to that game, I now hate Saint Seiya even more :||||||||||||||||

aspdofiuaspdfoi AND DBZ OH GOD THE KO EXPERIENCE. SOB TRAUMA.

Gintama translations (117-123)

melts — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 02:20:26 GMT

End of Kyuubei arc. Chapters 117 to 123. Sorry for spamming your f-lists! ;____;!!!!

Chapters 114-116 here

Chapter 117

(scene changes to where Minami and Ayu are – currently in a different part of the Yagyuu estate)
Ayu: oh, both of them lost already? (referring to Nishi and Kita)

Ayu: I didn't expect this to happen. Didn't realize that they were this powerful. That was my miscalculation. So now they have five members on their team, and we only have 3?

Minami: Toujyou-san, please, I can still fight, so we actually have four. I was a little careless, but my plate's still in tact.

Ayu: Is that so.... (walks over and PWN's Minami. ...For lack of better words XD; ) And now we have three again.

Ayu: The Yagyuu dojo does not need weaklings like you. If you're still going to be here, we're only going to lose. And I will not allow that to happen.

Kyuu: Wait, Toujyo. I'll go too. I didn't realize they were this good either, but now I'm rather interested.

Ayu: I can do this, it's alright. I'll take care of all five of them.

Kyuu: I said I'll go. Don't stop me.

Ayuu: But if you were to get hurt, then even seppuku is not good enough!!

Kyuu: Oh? You think I'll lose?

Ayu: Nono, that's not what I meant at all!

Kyuu: -_-; Then in that case, take this armor off of me. (Ayu put Kyuu in this traditional samurai armor outfit XDDDD)

Kyuu: You're always so worried about me, guess that's never going to change. But as long as you're going to be in the fight, then I won't get a chance to do anything.

Ayu: But I can't help it! I've always been protecting the Yagyuu family's future leader!

Random crow: * about to have its droppings land on Kyuu!*

Ayu:AHHHHHH!!! BE CAREFUL!!!! * TACKLES KYUU *

Ayu: YOU STUPID CROW! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!! AND THEN EAT YOU!!!

Kyuu: ....

(scene shifts over to Shinpachi currently with Hijikata. They're waiting for Kondo in front of the restroom)

Hijikata: That so? Sougo got beat up? Haha.

Hijikata: * completely bloody, and ...smoking a firecracker * Ahhhh, that felt good.

Shinpachi: Er, Hijikata-san, um, what's that you're smoking???? I don't think you should do that. That's a firecracker. ARE YOU OKAY!?

Hijikata: Looks like the Yagyuus underestimated us, but we were just as naïve. We thought that just because they've been in a dojo all their lives, we can take care of them easy. But it doesn't look to be true.

Hijikata: Oh yeah. That guy (referring to Gintoki) and that girl of yours – where'd they run off to? They better not be dead somewhere. Dammit, we don't know if we're at an advantage right now, or disadvantage.

Shinpachi: And Kondo-san said he really needed to use the bathroom. Is he er, going to be okay?

(Hijikata's firecracker, meanwhile, is going off while he's still smoking it XDDDDDDDD)

Shinpachi: AND ARE YOU OKAY!??!?!

Hijikata: Shut up. (Ayu and Kyuu just showed up)

Hijikata: They're here.

Shinpachi: Heyy..they're coming this way....

Hijikata: Huh. Guess they figured out where we are.

Shinpachi: WELL OBVIOUSLY! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE SMOKING!

Hijikata: Shit. I can't fight them both head-on like this. We better run.

Shinpachi: * banging on the bathroom door * ARE YOU OKAY, KONDO-SAN!? WE BETTER RUN!!!

Shinpachi: KONDO-SAN---

(meanwhile, Kondo is in the bathroom and....not looking good)

Kondo: ..............OH NO. I---I DON'T HAVE---ANY TOILET PAPER!!!!!!!

(back to Shinpachi and Hijikata outside)

Shinpachi: Oh no! Hijikata-san, I think Kondo-san already left!

Hijikata: Good for him. Come on, let's go.

Kondo: * in the bathroom screaming, but ahahah, Hijikata and Shinpachi can't hear him XD* TOUSHI!!! WAIT FOR ME!! NOOOOOO!! I DON'T HAVE ANY TOILET PAPER LEFT!! HELP MEEEEEEEE!!!! I NEED TO WIPE UP MY ASS!! COME ON!!! Oh no. They really left!!!!

Kondo: *thinking * This is bad! In the middle of the fight, I've been abandoned, and I might have to run out with my pants down!!?!?!?! What do I do?!?!?! I gotta wipe! Or the enemies might find me! Wait. Okay. There are three other stalls other than mine. So it's mathematically not very possible for them to ALL run out of toilet paper. SO yes! There must be toilet paper somewhere!

Other stall: * thudding noise*

Kondo: *thinking * And there's someone there! Yes! I'm saved!! *at the other stall * HEY!! UM, I DON'T HAVE ANY TOILET PAPER! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN SPARE SOME???? PLEASE?? JUST A FEW SHEETS IS FINE.

Gintoki: (yop, he's in the other stall) ...Ah. I ran out of toilet paper too.

Kondo: ....Wait. Did you just say that you ran out of toilet paper?

Gintoki: SHUT UP, GORILLA! Or you can eat shit!

Kondo: Eh???? That voice!! YOU'RE FROM THE YORUZUYA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

Gintoki: Do you really need to ask that? There's only one thing to do here.

Kondo: WHAT?? YOU'VE BEEN HERE ALL THIS TIME?!?!?!? WHILE EVERYONE ELSE WAS FIGHTING?

Gintoki: Now you know what a difficult fight I've been having. I guess that red bean bread I had earlier was some bad stuff. They were selling them cheap at the market, so I bought a bunch and stocked up. I guess that was a mistake. I finally managed to crap out all the bad stuff from myself, but now I'm stuck like this.

Kondo: Dammit, how can this happen???? There's gotta be at least ONE stall with toilet paper! * climbs up and tries to see into the other stalls for paper XD*

Kondo: *..... sees instead, Grandpapa XD;;;;;; annnd....he's also....out of toilet paper XD *

Grandpapa: G—give me toilet paper!!!!

Kondo: AHHHHHHH!!!!

Gintoki: What happened?!?!?!?

Kondo: T..THERE'S A DEMON IN THE OTHER STALL! HE LOOKS LIKE A MINI YODA!

Gintoki: Ah yeah. That's the bathroom kappa (or er, take to mean small ghost here. That's the only word I can think of right now)

Kondo: Bathroom...kappa?

Gintoki: That's the fate that awaits everyone who is stuck in a bathroomstall due to lack of toilet paper.

Grandpapa: Is this because I ate the stuff that Tae-chan cooked?!?!??!

Kondo: Really? Then won't we be like that too???

Gintoki: Which is why we need to find toilet paper soon.

Grandpapa: OWWWWWWWWWWW.

Kondo: WHAT? You want ME to find it? With my pants down?

Gintoki: Just take it all off. It might feel better. And say somethin like “I'm big foot. Give me paper.” Yeah, that works.

Kondo: THEN YOU GO! You've been crapping this entire time!

Gintoki: SOO???? You've been narrating all the panels, so how are YOU useful?!

Kondo: Don't you change the subject and make me the scapegoat!

Ayu: * shows up at the restroom!* Ah, sorry for this. You see. We don't really use this particular restroom, so we never really refill the toilet paper here. And now you're trapped. I wonder how I can get rid of all of you....

Kondo and Gintoki: ........

(scene shifts to Shinpachi and Hijikata, currently running through the Yagyuu gardens, trying to get away from Kyuu)

Shinpachi: You gonna be okay, Hijikata-san???? PLEASE BE OKAY!

Hijikata: Shit. This better not mean I'll have to quit smoking.

Hijikata: (referring to Kyuu, who's running along side them and chasing them) He's pretty fast on his feet.

Hijikata: .... * stops* Go. (at Shinpachi)

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san....

Hijikata: Don't worry, this isn't a favor or whatever for you. Like I said, I'm only here to fight a brawl. And if you lose, then we'd all lose.

Hijikata: GO. Find your sister. Even if we win, if she doesn't want to leave, then you still won't be able to bring her home. So go.

Shinpachi: ....Thank you. I'll treat you to mayonnaise one day. *runs off! *

Kyuu: Oh. So HE's your team leader, huh? (referring to Shinpachi)

Kyuu: Running off like that...what a disgrace. Let me just say this ahead of time. OUR team leader...not just anyone can beat him, you hear? My grandfather is my kendo teacher, and he's the strongest out of all the members of the Yagyuu family.

(scene shifts to the bathroom, annnnnnd the grandfather is completely naked, comes out of his stall, and is face to face with Ayu XDDDD)

Ayu: ............

Grandpapa: Um, I'm bigfoot. I need, um, toilet paper.

Ayu: ....Forgive me for asking, sir, but what are you doing?

Grandpapa: ...*heads back to his stall * DAMMIT! THAT DIDN'T WORK!

Gintoki: OF COURSE IT WOULDNT' WORK!! ARE YOU CRAZY OR ARE YOU JUST STUPID?!

Ayu: As the head of the family household, I don't think you should be doing that. You should get rid of those pesky ene----OHHHHHHH O_______O (annnnnnd he's having a baaad stomachache XD)

(scene shifts back to Kyuu and Hijikata in the middle of the garden)

Kyuu: Sorry. But the result has already been decided. I'm quite certain that Toujyou got rid of what's left of your team.

(scene shifts back again to Ayu/Toujyou in the bathroom, and ....having a bad case of diarhhea XD)

Ayu: OW! OH GOD! OWWWWW! UWAHHHHHHH!!!!!! THAT STUPID BITCH! IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THE EGG THIS MORNING!

(scene shifts back to Hijikata with Kyuu)

Hijikata: We Shinsengumi live out our lives with a realization that we could die any moment. So doesn't matter if the rest of the team falls or dies, I can only just keep on killing off the enemies.

Hijikata: So save your sentimental crap. All I can do is fight until the end with them.

(scene shifts back to the bathroom – Ayu, Gintoki, Grandpapa annnd Kondo all in their stalls, looking rather dejected)

ALL: THIS IS THE ENNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD

Chapter 118

Otae: !
Women: KOSHINORI-SAN! You're not allowed to come in here! This is bridal training area! No males allowed!

Koshi: SHUT UP! NOW IS NOT THE TIME! Tell Tae-chan to come out!

Women (specifically, the old grandmother): What? NOW you want to talk with her? First you tell us to get rid of her, now you want to see her. GOD THIS IS ANNOYING. If you don't get rid of her or make up your mind, I'm leaving >O!

Koshi: SHUT UP, you old hag! God you're disgusting.

Grandmother: I'm sorry, but there's no way she can be controlled! If she marries into the family, we're doomed! I BET SHE ONLY WANTS OUR MONEY.

Koshi: WE'RE ALREADY DOOMED! SOMEONE'S HERE TO CHALLENGE OUR DOJO!! NOT GOOD!!!! Kyuubei and the Yagyuu top 4 are running around like crazies, and they've already destroyed a large part of our estate!

Otae: *comes out and is curious *

Koshi: AND some guy's claiming that he's Tae-chan's brother! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!

Women: Her brother??? OH god. That IS a scary family.

Otae: *kicks down all the women and Koshi * GET OUT OF MY WAY!!! >o

Koshi: AH, that's Tae-chan! COME BACK YOU WENCH!

Otae: *thinking and running over to the scene of the fight(s) * Shin-chan, and and.....everyone??? Why are they--- ??

(scene shifts to the bathroom)

Kondo: I can't believe the other team's leader is some old guy. But don't think I'll go easy on you.

Grandpapa: Don't be silly. I bet none of you can beat me.

Gintoki: I'll say the same to you, old man. You're trapped here, you know.

Ayu: Don't be so hasty, all of you. I will get rid of ALL of you. But first, we have a pressing matter on our hands---

ALL: SOMEONE GIVE US TOILET PAPER~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kondo: THIS IS TOO FUNNY AND TOO CRUEL! The other team's leader is right in front of me, and I can't do anything!! HEY YOU! Toujyou??? Didn't you say that you were going to get rid of us??? What the hell are you doing here with us???

Ayu: I....I couldn't hold it in anymore. But now I Feel much better----OH NEVERMIND OW.

Gintoki: ....Hmmmm, do you know why we have two hands???

Kondo: YORUZUYA! DON'T GO CRAZY AND GIVE UP HOPE!!!!

Grandpapa: o_o .......... *looks at his own two hands XD *

Ayu: SIR!! WHY ARE YOU NOT TALKING!! DON'T LOOK AT YOUR HANDS!! IT'S A TRAP!

Gintoki: LOOK. Now is REALLY not the time to be discussing enemies or strategies or fights or whatever. If we're trapped here, we can forget about everything. We gotta find toilet paper FIRST. So, before we find some toilet paper how about we stop fighting? Can we all agree to that?

Ayu: Do you want me team up with you? Is that it? Please, I'm not going to fall for it----OW

Kondo: HEY! YOUR SHIT REALLY SMELLS. HOW LONG DO YOU PLAN ON STAYING HERE?!

Grandpapa: Toujyou, we don't have a choice. Let's just think about how to get toilet paper, or some kind of paper right now.

Kondo: Even though you may say that, but do you have any ideas on what to do??? Come on, with the four of us, we're bound to find something...

Gintoki: YEAH, there might be four of us, but we're all covered with crap. What the hell can we do?

Grandpapa: Now is not the time to belittle ourselves, but we should stay calm, so our spirituality and our souls may stay clean still.

Gintoki: Well said, but you're still covered with crap.

Ayu: Okay, let's just... assess the situation right now. People rarely come here, so I doubt we'll get any help from them.

Gintoki: So let's just rely on ourselves and take out all we have, and see what we can do.

Kondo: *thinking * No. It's not going to work. If one of us had SOMETHING, we would've used it, and got rid of everyone else here. Everybody knows that. So why are you saying something useless like that, Yoruzuya?

Ayu: *thinking too * At desperate times like this, it's natural for us to want to team up. ...We can team up, make the others think we're all friends here. That way, they'll let their guards down, and we can move in for the attack.

All: *thinking * I bet nobody here actually wants to help anyone else here

Ayu: *thinking * If we let our guards down, we'd get ourselves killed. So the trick is to get toilet paper before everyone else.

All: *thinking * GOD. GIVE US TOILET PAPER. PLEASE.

Ayu: ...So um. Anyone got any ideas?

Gintoki: Nope.

Ayu: Yeah, me neither. *thinking * Yeah. I guess I'll team up with them for now, then get rid of them one by one.

Grandpapa: Um...I have something here. I've got some sandpaper.

Ayu and Kondo: !!!!!!! *both thinking * Sand paper???!?! Are you crazy? If we use that, our asses will cease to be asses, and be a bloody mess! But...still.....Right now...That's better than Kleenex! GOD I WANT IT.

Gintoki: Are you joking, you stupid old man? That stuff is going to kill our asses.

Kondo: *THINKING * Wait, Yoruzuya! Just don't think about the “sand” part, and only focus on the “paper” part!

Kondo: *thinking * Wait no....He's ...HE MUST be acting!! And trying to scope us out! YES! HE must really want sandpaper!! YES, that must be it!

Kondo: *still thinking * That stuff is in the hands of the enemy, so if we act like we want it, that could be bad for us! He (Gintoki) has hidden that desire well! YES! And THEN he'll move in later for the kill! Ah, he's so many steps ahead of us. ((ohhhh Kondo-san. You're so special))

Kondo: *thinking * if that's so, I'll help ! *yelling * YEAH! WHO WANTS SANDPAPER! You should use that sandpaper on your head first!

Ayu: -_-; Sir, we don't want THAT kind of paper. Not that desperate. You should flush it down. Along with yourself -_-;;;;;

Grandpapa: Hey what? Right now, sandpaper can compete with Kleenex!

Kondo: KLEENEX???? ARE YOU C RAZY?!

Ayu: JUST BECAUSE IT HAS PAPER IN ITS NAME DOESN'T MEAN SQUAT, YOU STUPID OLD MAN!

Gintoki: Er, aren't you guys going overboard just a little bit? Hey, let me take a look at that. Maybe it might work?

Ayu: *thinking * !!!!!!!!!! HE FIRST REJECTS, THEN ENCOURAGES!?!?!??!? That's...that's a scary tactic!! Even host club women can't be immune!

Kondo: *thinking * Yes!! He has seen through the enemies! (referring to Gintoki)

Ayu: *thinking * Have I been played all this time???????? He's...He's like Buddha! (and here we see a mental picture of Gintoki as the Buddha. Oh dear god , these boys are cracked) WE'RE AS GOOD AS LOST. (and a sheet of sandpaper is slipped to Ayu and to Kondo as well)

Kondo: !!

Grandpapa: There. Now all of us have paper, right?

Ayu: *thinking * Um, now what.

Kondo: *thinking * Old guy, Yoruzuya....you guys can't possibly be thinking about using this??? It's...it's even rougher than what I imagined! If we really use this, OUR ASSES WILL NOT BE SAFE!

Grandpapa: We don't have enough time. Let's just use this. Even though I don't really recommend this.

(and there's the sound of sandpaper rubbing something XD)

Kondo: *thinking * .....What's that noise? Oh no. Are they really.... He really is using it!! Oh god. Even with my really hairy ass, I'm still not going to use this! Oh god. Is this old man really that powerful????

Ayu: *thinking * Haha. This must be the old man's trick to psych out the enemy. Yes. It's perfect.

Gintoki: Ahhh~ This feels good. I like how it rubs.

Ayu: *thinking * Wait what. He can't...NO!! HE's also using it?????? BUT BUT!!!!!!!!!! Oh god. Has he been training his ass by sitting on hot dog stands?????

Kondo: *thinking * Oh god. What do I do??????? Should I use it?? ?SHOULD I?????

Ayu: *thinking * NOOOOOO!!!!! TELL ME TO JUMP OFF A BUILDING, OR OR..SOMETHING BUT NOT THIS!!! ...Wait, I don't want to jump off a building either.

Kondo and Ayu: *both thinking * No. No. We...we'll have to!!

(and here we see that the grandpapa and Gintoki are actually using the sandpaper to rub against the walls of the bathroom stalls XDDDDD They're not actually using it, but playing a prank on the rest XD)

Kondo: *takes out a photo of Otae and thinking * Otae-san.....This is all because I want to see her smile again.

Ayu: *takes out a photo of Kyuu and also thinking * This is all because I need to protect Yagyuu family's future leader----

Kondo and Ayu: ............................. *both thinks and realizes!! * ....Wait. This....this is ....paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kondo: *thinking * but wait. I can't use this photo of Otae-san! I don't want her face to be rubbing my butt!! This might seem kind of hot in other situations but NOT RIGHT NOW. But...I can't use the sandpaper either....

Ayu: *thinking too * Can I ....really use ....the head's...face...to.....rub my...butt?? But but... Sandpaper...!!!!

Kondo and Ayu: * thinking and completely torn between either sandpaper, of photo of a loved one XD* WHICH DO I CHOOSE.

Kondo and Ayu: ......

Kondo and Ayu: AHHHHHHHHH!!! * both kick down their stalls' doors, and face to face! Oho, fight!*

Kondo: OTAE-SANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ayu: BOCHAMMMMMAAAA!!!! (meaning: affectionate term for the head of the family aka Kyuu)

Kondo and Ayu: WE'RE SORRY!!!!!! (and they charge at each other with one swift attack)

Ayu: ....Ah. My responsibility is to protect the bochamma. So I must win...and so...I had to--- But in the end, I wasn't strong enough. (Kondo has completely broken Ayu's plate with one swift swing and AYU IS DOWN)

Ayu: ...No. Not even next time. I'm not using the sandpaper. EVER.

Kondo: ...Otae-san. Sorry. Your smile keeps me going but....I can only hold out up to here. (....and blood comes spurting out of his....ass XDD;;;; and we see that he, unlike Ayu, did NOT use the photo of Otae, and he opted for the sandpaper instead) I really am just that stupid.

Chapter 119

Grandpapa: ...What is going on out there???

Gintoki: Gah, this is annoying. I didn't even want to fight. It just felt like I should, and I got all swept up, and now I'm here. How stupid.

Grandpapa: Same here. But Kyuubei really wanted me to join in, so I had to. The government wanted to tear down some of my houses, so if anything, THEY'RE my enemies.

Gintoki: Man, I can't believe you'd fight because they asked you.

Grandpapa: Honestly. Who cares who's getting married? I don't care if they're getting married in a banquet hall or having their kids in a bathroom stall.

Grandpapa: But really. You don't have ANY paper on you?

Gintoki: Nope. (he's looking at his wallet, and taking out a 1000 yen note XD) *thinking * Dammit. I really don't want to use this.

Gintoki: You, old man?

Grandpapa: Um, no. (he's taking out a hand scroll, which has all of the Yagyuu kendo technique secrets XDDD) *thinking * Hmmm, should I use this?

Gintoki: Don't be lying now. If you have paper, be sure to share.

Grandpapa: I should say the same to you. You have to swear to god you don't have paper!

Gintoki: Shut up! You should swear too, or you'll die.

Grandpapa: YOU can go die. Or at least, flick your forehead 10 times.

Grandpapa and Gintoki: .....................

Grandpapa: ...Hey, I can hear you wiping something.

Gintoki: I said no. Don't be so paranoid. If anything, I hear YOU wiping something too.

Grandpapa: Nope. YOU're the one who's paranoid.

Gintoki and Grandpapa: I SAID I DON'T HAVE PAPER! (both knock down the entire bathroom stall/stalls and are fighting!)

(scene shifts to Kyuu and Hijikata fighting)

Kyuu: Your breathing is getting shallow. I can hear your breathing now, even. You realize that in kendo, that's a FATAL MISTAKE! (Kyuu attacks, and Hijikata's face is completely bloodied up)

Kyuu: ........Are you joking or just playing with me?

Kyuu: Before you got visibly tired...and even now...your swings are filled with hesitance. That's not going to win, and you know it. What are you doing?

Hijikata: *thinking * What am I doing? I should be asking YOU that, if anything. If my intuition is right...NO. It's not just male intuition. From the very beginning, something seemed really off. But now as we're fighting, I'm more sure than ever.

Hijikata: *thinking * If it's true....Then... why are we fighting? Why? No. I can't think about something like that. Doesn't matter who's in front of me, all I have to do is cut them down.

(scene shifts to Gintoki and Grandpapa, fighting in another part of the estate. In the middle of a bamboo garden)

Gintoki: oi oi. Don't move around so much, old man. I just want to break your plate. If you move too much, you might get hurt.

Grandpapa: Ehhhh?? Your eyes look kind of dead, but you're actually quite sharp. What's your style? Your own or something?
Grandpapa: Your swings are very unpredictable. Most people would have trouble keeping up. But......do you think you can handle what I can do? *kicks Gintoki in the face! *

Grandpapa: Hey, boy. I'm up here. (he's climbed up a lonnnnng bamboo stick) Catch me if you can!

Gintoki: STUPID OLD MAN. You wanna draw this out until OUR team leader can't hold out anymore, is that it? (meanwhile, grandpapa is hopping around very very quickly,and Gintoki can barely keep up)

Gintoki: *thinking * SHIT. IT'S A TRAP. (and Grandpapa takes a big swing at Gintoki, and sends him flying)

Gintoki: Tch.

Grandpapa: Don't you realize the importance of expanding your territory while fighting? And in this bamboo garden....I have the distinct advantage.

Gintoki: *thinking * Is this guy some kind of monster? He's really fast. Like a monkey.

Grandpapa: It's too late for you. You can't run from me! (annnnd he attacks. Gintoki is surprised)

(scene shift to Otae, who's currently being chased by a whole lot of women who are trying to stop her)

Women: WE FOUND HER! STOP HER!! CUT HER OFF FROM THE FRONT!

Otae: !!!!

Koshi: TAE-CHAN! STOP IT!!! I WILL NOT LET THIS GO ON ANY LONGER!! ....Hmm??? (annnd Shinpachi shows up, and kicks Koshi in the head)

Otae: !!!!!!!! Shin-chan!

Otae: Shin-chan, let me go!

Shinpachi: Shut up! I won't listen to you any longer!! I can't believe you! I didn't even explain anything and just decided by yourself to get married??? If that's the case, then I won't listen to you, and we're all going to bring you home, whether you want to or not!

Otae: ...Shin-chan. I apologize for not explaining anything to you, but....please just stop this whole thing. Up against the Yagyuu family....it won't be good for any of you. And I've already decided, anyway.

Shinpachi: Aneue....That's not right. You're always smiling, so I never really know what you're thinking. Even though you're sad, or in pain, you still keep smiling. You never let anyone know. And you left home all by yourself. Please, you should stop this, if anything. If something's troubling you, please, just tell us.

Shinpachi: None of us want you to feel lonely. We all came here because we saw you crying. (and as Shinpachi talks, scene shifts to Kagura with her broken arm, Kondo with his...broken..um, ass, and Gintoki fighting with the Grandpapa) These people, they'd sacrifice themselves just to see you. All because you were crying. Please, just---

Otae: None of your business. ...It's none of your business. I never asked any of you guys to come here.

Shinpachi: *SLAPS HIS SISTER! * I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT AGAIN!

Otae: *punches Shinpachi, and he's flying across the room * I KNOW THAT! I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH EVERYONE! BUT I CAN'T! I ALREADY PROMISED KYUU-CHAN THAT I'D BE KYUU-CHAN'S LEFT EYE!

Shinpachi: ...Left...eye? Aneue, what are you talking about?

Kyuu: Tae-chan, what are you talking about? Don't tell me you're still sad about that. Shinpachi, I guess you wouldn't know this. But I lost my left eye, and Tae-chan was there too when it happened. I told her she shouldn't feel responsible. If anything, I should thank her. Because of her, I'm strong. (and we see Hijikata lying in a heap)

Shinpachi: HIJIKATA-SAN!!!!!

Kyuu: Shinpachi, how many does that leave your team? Doesn't matter. As long as I get rid of you, this whole thing would be over. I'm sorry, but I'm taking your sister with me.

Hijikata: What? You plan on taking her away? Don't joke with me.

Hijikata: Hey, you. With the glasses. Looks like this whole fight was a cruel useless joke, and we're the butt of it. THAT (referring to Kyuu) is a WOMAN.

Chapter 120

Shinpachi: ....wait. What do you mean, that's a woman. How....Kyuubei is a woman????? THEN WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!??!?!?!

Hijikata: Simple. She doesn't have something you have, but she has something you lack. ((.....well, it IS an apt description XDDDDD))

Shinpachi: Yeah, but...er........She said she plans on marrying my sister....but...HOW????!?? Um, heyyyy....Don't tell me you THINK THAT MY SISTER IS A MAN----*gets kicked by Otae XD *

Otae: Of course not. Kyuu-chan has the body of a woman, but her heart is that of a man. She can only fall in love with a woman.

(scene changes to Gintoki and the Grandpapa. Gintoki is getting pwn'd D: )

Gintoki: OOF.

Grandpapa: People who break up other people's relationships should DIE! Get stomped to death by horses! So like I said, if you plan on breaking apart two people who've already promised each other, that's really really stupid. Or do you also like Tae-chan?

Gintoki: Don't joke with me, old man. Your so-called bochamma is not some bochamma. That's a SHE, am I right?

Grandpapa: Oh, very good! You could tell?

Gintoki: You can lie to everybody else, but I trust what's hanging between my legs.

Grandpapa: Oh that. Yeah, mine's long broken. It was reacting to slippers.

Gintoki: Haha. You guys really are the number one Yagyuu dojo. Just because your granddaughter likes women, you guys are willing to go all out to fight all of us?

(scene shifts to Shinpachi, who's without his glasses, annnd Otae, Kyuu and Hijikata)

Shinpachi: THIS IS SOME KIND OF STUIPD JOKE. HOW CAN TWO WOMEN---WHA?! Why didn't you say something, Aneue?? ...Or do you mean....YOU KNOW, but still!!!!!

(scene shifts to Grandpapa and Gintoki)

Grandpapa: She's like this....because of me. It's my fault. The Yagyuu family has always had a patriarch. But when my son's, Kyuubei's father's, wife, Kyuubei's mother, died...Well, many told him to remarry. But he would have none of it. He really loves Kyuubei's mother.

Grandpapa: And if he remarried, then Kyuubei would have no place in this family, because of the family rules. Both myself and my son really love Kyuubei, so we had to do something about this.

(flash back to young Kyuubei, with her grandfather and her father. She's crying)

Koshi: KYUUBEI! STOP CRYING!!!! HOW CAN YOU BE A BOY THEN?? HOW CAN YOU BE A SAMURAI???

Kyuu: T_T But I AM a girl!

Koshi: I SAID YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO BE A GIRL! AND YOU SHOULD CALL ME PAPA!

Grandfather: (narrating through the flashback) We only told the closest members of the Yagyuu family. And we decided to raise her as a boy to be the next leader of the Yagyuu family. This was all so she wouldn't perish in a family like ours. But that meant we also had to be strict with her, and make sure she had substance to back up her title as the Yagyuu's future leader.

(scene shifts to young Kyuu, flashback still, crying and cracking under the pressure of having to be the future leader of Yagyuu family AND not reveal she's a girl. She's at a playground, and getting bullied)

Young boys: HEY, DRAG QUEEN! YOU FREAK!! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS CRYING LIKE A GIRL???? HUH???

Random boy A: Hey, I bet he IS a real girl! Hey, let's pull down his pants and see!

Young Otae: *punches the boy *
Boy: AHHHHH!!! (and they all run off)

Grandfather: (still narrating through the flashback) Maybe it was just simple admiration at first. Both were young girls, but one was able to live proudly with her head raised high, not afraid at all (and we see a young Otae, reaching out a hand at Kyuu, smiling)

(scene shifts to young Kyuu and young Otae, talking)

Otae: So? Who cares if you're short. Since you're shorter than everyone, that's okay. Just have a bigger heart than everyone!

Kyuu: Um...then.....if I can be a powerful samurai....will you be my...um.....that???? *blushing *

Otae: ! *blushes too *

Otae: *smiles * I guess so. Since Kyuu-chan, you're suppose to be a boy, but you don't have THAT.

Kyuu: >O MY GRANDFATHER SAID IT'LL GROW OUT!

Otae: That's not true. I bet it'll be hairy and gross.

Kyuu: MAYBE I HAVE TO GO OFF SOMEWHERE SO IT'LL GROW OUT???

Young Kyuu: (narrating through this part, still flash back, and here we see Otae at her father's funeral) But....when I saw how even though she was always smiling....she was still sad....

(flashback continues, but scene shifts to Amantos trying to take Otae family's dojo. Shinpachi just got beat up. They're still all very very young here)

Otae: SHIN-CHAN!

Amanto: YOU GUYS OWE US MONEY, AND YOU'RE STILL THIS STUBBORN??? Hmmm, maybe we should just sell you off somewhere. I heard young Earth girls can fetch a good price (referring to Otae)

Otae: STOP IT! DON'T TOUCH MY BROTHER!

Young Kyuu: (narrating still through this scene) I just really wanted to help and protect them. (she attacks the Amanto, and then the scene goes black. It then shifts to Kyuu opening her eyes, and we see a young and very worried Otae)

Otae: KYUU-CHAN!!! ARE YOU OKAY???

Young Kyuu: Tae-chan....I'm sorry...No matter how hard I try...I can't be a strong boy and I can't help. ...But, if I'm stronger than all the boys, and all the girls..then I can help you. (annnd we see that young Kyuu has lost her left eye in the fight. It's all bloodied up and everything :x)

Otae: I'm sorry, Kyuu-chan. I'll be your left eye.

(scene shifts to the present. Scenes of Gintoki listening to Grandpapa telling the story, and Shinpachi listening to Kyuu's explanation are inter-spliced together. Both groups are very close by)

Shinpachi and Gintoki: .......

Kyuu: We've already surpassed your pitiful male vs. female distinctions. A promise is simply a promise, and I'll stay by Tae-chan's side.

Grandpapa: Even though Tae-chan told me too, to not get involved, that's not important now. Kyuubei needs her, and she needs Kyuubei. In a way, that's some kind of love too.

Shinpachi and Gintoki: .........................

Kyuu: I'm not interested in your boring distinctions of what's male and what's female. Those are just petty limitations. Look at him (motions to Hijikata). He knew I was a woman, and so he hesitated. And he lost. How weak. How can someone like that ever protect anyone or anything he cares about?

Grandpapa: Even though they say that romance is a rocky road, but if they really want to do this, then we're gonna help them till the end!

Shinpachi and Gintoki: ..................................................(and they remember how Otae used to smile)

Shinpachi and Gintoki: ALL I HEAR IS BLAH BLAH BLAH FROM YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!! *attacks Kyuu and Grandpapa, respectively *

Shinpachi: The burden or whatever behind her smile? IF YOU KNEW THAT, LOOK AT HOW YOU'RE MAKING MY SISTER MISERABLE RIGHT NOW!

Gintoki: ROMANCE!?!?!?! PLEASE. YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW THEY'RE FEELING RIGHT NOW, SO SHUT THE HELL UP!

Gintoki and Shinpachi: SURPASS FEMALE VS. MALE?!??!?! WHO THE FUCK CARES, ASSHOLE!

Shinpachi: Letting someone you care about cry like that...

Gintoki: That's not just a problem between men and women...

Gintoki and Shinpachi: WHOEVER DOES THAT IS DEFINITELY AN ASSHOLE! (both teams meet up, and Gintoki and Shinpachi are fighting side by side, with Kyuu and Grandpapa. Otae looks very concerned and surprised)

Shinpachi: And this is why I hate people who are unpopular and STILL make excuses. Right, Gin-san?

Gintoki: Well-said, Shinpachi.

Koshi: HEY YOU GUYS!! STOP THIS STUPID FIGHT RIGHT NOW!!! I WON'T ALLOW THIS TO TAINT THE YAGYUU FAMILY ANY LONGER!

Koshi: STOP ALL OF THEM!!! (and we see a loooooooooooot of people showing up trying to stop the fight between Shinpachi/Gintoki vs Grandpapa/Kyuu)

Kondo: ALL OF YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!! NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO INTERFERE IN THIS FIGHT! MEN AND MEN—WAIT NO --- MEN AND WOMEN---WAIT THAT'S NOT REALLY RIGHT EITHER----LOOK, I, GORILLA ISAO, WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS FIGHT TO BE STOPPED!

Otae: Kondo-san!!!

Okita: HIJIKATA-SAN! I CAN ONLY FIGHT FOR ABOUT 5 MORE MINUTES! LET'S GO!

Hijikata: WHY ARE YOU RIDING ON TOP OF ME, YOU BASTARD?!?!? (Okita, still with a broken leg, so he's .....yeah XD Riding on Hijikata's shoulders and they're fighting all the thugs that just showed up XDDDD)

Otae: .....

Kagura: HA! UWAH!!!! Anego! These men are unreliable! >O! So I'll help you!!! And Gin-chan, where'd you run off to earlier????

Gintoki: SHUT UP! I WAS CRAPPING!

Kagura: WHAT??????!!?!??!? >o

Gintoki: HEY, YOU GUYS' (referring to shinsengumi) LEADER WAS STUCK WITH ME TOO!

Kondo: YOU BE QUIET!

Otae: (she's crying) Everybody....I want to go back with everyone ;_____;

Chapter 121

(scene = basically a giant messy brawl XDDD Kondo is whacking at everything, Okita is riding ontop of Hijikata, and they're knocking down people, Kagura is beating everyone up...)

Koshi: WHAT?! THOSE 4 CAN HANDLE ALL OF US?!

Kagura: Gin-chan! Shinpachi!

Okita: The rest is up to the two of you!

Hijikata: We've already come this far, so you guys better not lose.

Kondo: OTAE-SAN DEPENDS ON THE TWO OF YOU!

(annnd we see Shinpachi and Gintoki are up on the rooftop fighting against Grandpapa and Kyuu, while the other four are holding back the thugs that Koshi's got, who are trying to stop the fight)

Gintoki and Shinpachi: .....

Kyuu: Grandfather, this isn't a game. Please be serious.

Grandpapa: Of course. Anything for my cute grand daughter.

Grandpapa and Kyuu: LET'S GO!

Gintoki: It's gonna start, Shinpachi.

Shinpachi: Yosh, Gin-san.

Otae: !!!! (all worried and watching)

Gintoki and Shinpachi vs Kyuu and Grandpapa: *INSERT BATTLE CRY HERE *

Otae: *thinking * Shin-chan....When did you get so strong? ...Oh wait. I guess there's still room for improvement (and we see Shinpachi getting knocked down by Kyuu)

Gintoki: !! Shinpachi! (annnd he gets hit by Grandpapa)

Grandpapa: Hey hey~ Do you still have time to be taking care of other people?

Kyuu: You're dead meat! (she's charging toward Gintoki, and so is Grandpapa. Gintoki ducks, and Grandpapa slams into Kyuu)

Gintoki: Shinpachi! Hold out for a bit longer.

Shinpachi: @______@ Are you sure that's a girl??? OWWWWW.

Kyuu: Hm. You only NOW realize what a large difference in skill there is between you and me? How sad. Shinpachi, you're just a burden.

Kyuu: As long as the team leader's down, this match is over. But if HE's down (referring to Gintoki), then you are as good as dead, Shinpachi.

Kyuu: You can't win with a burden like that. (and both Grandpapa and Kyuu attack. They're really fast, and both are targeting Gintoki and Shinpachi, and Yoruzuya = can barely keep up)

Shinpachi: *thinks * too fast! I can't see (he still doesn't have his glasses)

Gintoki: OPEN YOUR EYES, SHINPACHI!! Besides, it's not like you can see if you aren't blind, so it's okay!!!

Shinpachi: *thinks * Easy for you to say, but with this attack formation.... (his sword is knocked out and he tries to chase after it)

Gintoki: DON'T MOVE! (both Kyuu and Grandpapa tries to attack Shinpachi)

Shinpachi: !!!

Gintoki: *blocks the attack * OOF.

Shinpachi: GIN-SAN! *thinking * Oh now....At this rate.....Even Gin-san will.... (and he thinks about how Kyuu said he was nothing but a burden earlier) ..... I....I ended up dragging in Gin-san and everyone into this. But I ...

Kyuu: Don't you think this is funny, Shinpachi? You wanted to bring your sister back home, but in the end, you ended up being the weakest link. You should know by now. No matter how hard you fight, you rely on others too much. “Who will help me?” is what you want to say.

Kyuu: Even when you were a kid, you were always like that. Always hiding behind your sister. You never once thought about how you made your guardian feel with your dependence. Do you know why your sister's always smiling? Because she didn't want you to know you are such a weakling. She had to wear that mask for your sake.

Kyuu: As long as she's by my side, this won't happen. I can make Tae-chan smile again. You can't protect your sister, and you have no RIGHT to protect her either. ONLY I CAN! (she tries to move in to attack, but Gintoki blocks for him, and is badly hit)

Shinpachi: GIN-SAN!

Gintoki: Shut up. Don't you dare (referring to Kyuu) Don't talk as if you know everything about Shinpachi. You have no right to criticize you. No right at all.

Grandpapa: * moves in to attack Gintoki !* (but Shinpachi pushes Gintoki out of the way, and is instead sent flying across the courtyard and into a room somewhere, knocking down a bunch of shoji doors in the process*

Gintoki: SHINPACHI! * tries to go over to where Shinpachi is*

Grandpapa: * blocks his way* Even if you go, there's no point. Your team leader's down. It's over.

Gintoki: ......

Gintoki: Stop lying, old man. You never once realized that even though everything you do is for your granddaughter's sake, your granddaughter in the end, is also protected by everyone. Someone who can't even realize that simple fact is NOT going to win. (we see Kyuu walking over to where Shinpachi is)

Grandpapa: ..........

Grandpapa: .....Hey wait a minute, where's YOUR sword?

Gintoki: AIYAYAYA. Hmmm, I wonder where it went :O

Shinpachi: * gets up, and attacks Kyuu! She's knocked down*

Grandpapa: O___________________________O!!!!!!!!!! KYUUBEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gintoki: Heh. Shinpachi, you've always seen everything clearly, right?

Gintoki: Helping each other...that's very important.

Shinpachi: Yop. *puts on his glasses * I finally found it. There we go. Now I can really see and fight.

Chapter 122
Kyuu: *thinks* That was too careless of me. But, if we drag out this fight too much, then the difference in ability will show through. So, this fight....we'll have to decide as quickly as possible. (she blocks Shinpachi's attack, then knocks away his sword. She then moves in for yet another attack, but Gintoki throws HIS sword at her, and knocks HER sword loose. Shinpachi tries to attack again, but Grandpapa throws HIS sword at Shinpachi, and the two swords are sent flying in the air*

ALL: DAMMIT! *all trying to grab a sword. Gintoki and Kyuu grabs the swords just in time, and Shinpachi and Grandpapa are left swordless*

Kyuu: *thinks* Will I cut down Shinpachi first, or will you cut down my grandfather first? Are you trying to challenge me in terms of speed? (both her and Gintoki move in for the attack, and Shinpachi realizes something)

Shinpachi: *thinks* No....she wasn't trying to target me. It's a trick!! She's pretending to attack me, so your (referring to Gintoki) guard would be let down!!!

Gintoki: *SMIRRRRKKKKKKK! He's seen through it!*

Kyuu: *Thinks* What?!

Gintoki: *breaks Kyuu's plate, and she's down. Shinpachi gets Kyuu's sword (somehow, there are only two swords left for the four of them. I have no clue how that happened)*

Grandpapa: *latches onto Gintoki's neck!* *thinking to himself* You saw through Kyuubei's attack, broke her plate, AND got her sword. That's quite an accomplishment. But like I said, there's no way you can win with a burden! (Grandpapa drags Gintoki down, and smashes Gintoki up against the pointy edge of a mini shrine. Gintoki's plate shatters, and only Grandpapa and Shinpachi are left)

Grandpapa: *thinking* You kept protecting that boy over there till the end. That's a weakness. Did you really have to be so stubborn? (he lands, but Shinpachi's waiting on the other side of the mini shrine, which has a small hole in the middle, just big enough for the sword, and Shinpachi attacks through said hole)

Grandpapa: O_____________O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gintoki: GO, SHINPACHI!

Shinpachi: OHHHHHHHH!! (.....these sound effects really shouldn't be so funny but they are XD) (annnyway, he knocks down Grandpapa, and Yagyuu team = lost!)

Grandpapa: ...Oops. Guess I lost. Sorry.

Kondo and Kagura: WE WON!!!!!!

Kagura: SHINPACHI!!!! *kicks him* Don't get all uppity on us, okay!! Gin-chan helped you lots!

Kondo: You really are A GREAT BROTHER!

Shinpachi: WHO YOU CALLING BROTHER?!?!?!?!?

Okita: Ahh, guess they're back to not getting along again.

Gintoki: *sighs and looks over at Kyuu, who's ....lying there XD*

Koshi's thugs: WHAT?! HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE?!?!?!?!

Koshi: ALL OF YOU! STOP FIGHTING THIS STUPID FIGHT RIGHT NOW! EVERYONE, GET ALL OF THESE INTRUDERS AND---

Grandpapa: Stop it, Koshinori. We lost. That's it. This was Kyuubei's fight, and a deal's a deal. Let Tae-chan go.

Koshi: PAPASAMA!!!! I WAS AGAINST THIS FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, BUT STILL!!!!

Grandpapa: Just shut up.

Koshi: I WANTED HER TO BE STRONG LIKE A MAN, BUT NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!

Grandpapa: Shut up -_-;;;;

Grandpapa: Sorry, Kyuubei. But...perhaps this is all for the best.

(scene shifts to Gintoki, Otae and Kyuu)

Gintoki: ..... I don't want to say stuff like "that's a girl" or "that's not a guy" and criticize you base on something stupid like that. But I'm pretty sure she (referring to Kyuubei) knows why you actually want to be her "left eye"....

Gintoki: And you know too, that making promises like that out of guilt isn't going to solve anything either. You guys BOTH know that that's not going to make anyone happy in the end.

Otae: ...I'm sorry.

Gintoki: There's no need for anyone to apologize here. Everyone...was just trying to help each other. That's all. It's as simple as that. *walks off*

Chapter 123

Kyuu: *thinking back at many things, and she's still lying there. She thinks back at how Otae was crying and made the promise to be her "left eye." She also thinks back at how her father telling her the necessary measures for her to stay in the Yagyuu family, and how she needs to be strong. She then also thinks about what Gintoki just said* *at Otae* I know all of that. He's right. I was very rash, and made the stupid decision to tie you down like that. I know why you said yes, but I didn't care how you feel. Even so, you still tried to help me. Making that promise to be my left eye....

Kyuu: My father and my grandfather tried to protect me, so they told me I had to be strong, and they raised me like a boy. But I hate them for making me not really a girl, and not a boy either. It's really nobody's fault that I'm like this. I'm just too weak. Even so, all of you still insisted on helping me. I guess, in the end, I was still being protected and sheltered by everyone, so nothing's changed. I'm really a lousy person.

Kyuu: why did it have to be like this? How did it even get to be like this? I --- I want to dress up like a girl too, and worry about clothes and all that. And do girly things. And just go shopping. And be a nice girl like you, Tae-chan. (annnd she's crying)

Otae: Kyuu-chan. You're just you. It has nothing to do with you being a girl, or a boy. You're my most important friend. So, please don't cry, okay??? You said you were supposed to be a guy and a samurai and all that--- (and she's crying too)

Otae: I'm sorry.

Kyuu: No, you are allowed to cry today. We're all girls here, right?

(scene shifts to where Otae works, the night club/bar/thing)

Women: Welcome!!!!

Hijikata: *is there, but his entire face is bandaged up, so he looks.....a bit scary XD*

Women: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!! IT'S A MUMMY!!

Woman A: GET OUT OF HERE, YOU DEMON!!!!

Emcee/Receptionist: ...Hijikata-san, which lady would you like to request today? -_-;;;;

Women: .....................

Otae: Oh....nobody else came, huh? I guess that's expected, what with what happened. I'm very sorry, Hijikata-san. I mean, look at your injuries and all....

Hijikata: This isn't your fault. This is me deciding to fight in an all-out brawl. As expected, really.

Otae: ...I'm really a horrible person. Because of me, a lot of people got hurt, and Kyuu-chan...and you guys, all got dragged into this. I knew what I decided wouldn't solve anything, and yet I still stubbornly went along with it. It was a half-assed solution.

Hijikata: You're not the Buddha, so it's not like you can miraculously save everyone. It's just not possible. So don't tell me you're going to mope around because of that. It's useless.

Otae: ........

Hijikata: ....But let's say that half-assed solution CAN help someone, would you do it?

(scene shifts to a large banquet hall. Lots of guests, half are gorillas, half are humans XD. YOP. We're at a pre-wedding rehearsal for Kondo-san and the Gorilla princess)

Announcer: PLEASE WELCOME THE BRIDE AND THE GROOM!! (and enters Kondo with....giant Gorilla princess. She's like, ....five times his size or something)

Everyone: *applause!*

Shinpachi: (along with Gintoki, Kagura, and all of Shinsengumi, they're guests here) Gin-san, how far do we humans have to fall in the dark abyss of life to be like this? I mean, getting set up with a gorilla, then accidentally does...that in his pants....then the whole fight, and now...this.

Okita: Hey, it's not funny D:

Gintoki: Hey, I wasn't laughing. More like, I don't think I can laugh. I think I want to cry. Is that possible at a wedding?

Okita: Can't you guys do something? This isn't a real formal wedding. But this IS our last chance at stopping this whole mess. After this, Kondo-san is going to have to go to the Gorilla Planet and get married there, and then he won't come back again.

Gintoki: So you want us to stop this whole mess, but this whole thing started out AS a mess. I mean, THEY ARE ALL GORILLAS! I can't do this by myself! THEY'RE ALL GORILLAS!

Gintoki: Hey! But still, WE helped you with that guy's sister! You should pay us back for it.

Kondo: *talking into a walkie-talkie/microphone/thing* I am Kondo. Please answer me! OVER. What are you guys waiting for?!?!? STOP THIS CEREMONY RIGHT NOW!!! OVER!

Kondo: *still talking into the walkie-talkie thingie* Aren't you guys good at screwing things up? I didn't invite you guys for the free food, you know! OVER.

Gintoki: *talking into his headset* Hey, what food? They're only serving bananas. OVER.

Kondo: We shinsengumi can't do anything, since the chief's the one organizing this. If we mess up, we could get disbanded. We need you outsiders to screw this up!

Kagura: *into HER walkie-talkie* Where is this from? OVER.

Kondo: HUH?

Kagura: I'm asking you where did these bananas come from? OVER.

Kondo: BANANAS AREN'T THE POINT HERE! WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED??! OVER!

Okita: Bananas really are the king of all fruits. Over.

Kondo: WHAT DO YOU MEAN OVER/!??!?! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THESE THINGS?! OVER!

Gintoki: Hmmm, I want to go use the bathroom. You know where it is? Over.

Kagura? Someone? : Ask the guy next to you. Over.

Okita: I know where it is! Let me show you. OVER.

Kondo: WHY ARE YOU GUYS USING WALKIE TALKIES FOR THIS?!?!??!? THAT'S YOUR CONVERSATION AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! OVER!

Kondo: *thinking* Oh god. These people are not going to help stop this. I'M OVER!!!!!

Announcer: Will the Bride and the Groom please step forward for their first act together as husband and wife? (and they roll in a giant bed)

Kondo: .............DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD8

Kondo: *thinking* W--WHAT??!?!?!? WAIT, WHY....!?!?!??!?!?! I thought we're supposed to cut the cake?????? DO I CUT THE GORILLA?????? WAIT. NO. THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE. THEY CAN'T BE ASKING US TO DO THIS, RIGHT?!?!?!? *looks over at the police chief*

Police chief: Kondo, the gorillas care very much about continuing the next generation. So come on. Show them your manhood! *THUMBS UP at Kondo*

Kondo: WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME THE THUMBS UP!?!??!!? SOMEONE GO BREAK HIS THUMB!

Kondo: *thinking* THIS IS JUST...NO. It's not like this is romantic or anything! And I'm no Kondo eagle! I'm more like....like a swallow! ...And everyone's going to be staring at us while we do this?!?!???!?!?!? WHAT THE HELL?! WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BANANAS EARLIER, NOW THEY'RE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT MY BANANA!!!!!!

Kondo: SHINPACHI, HELP MEEEEEEEEE~~ (and Shinpachi, sadly, is too busy packing up the bananas to go) OH GOD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE BANANAS! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A HOUSEWIFE!

Gorilla princess: *picks up Kondo and throws him on top of her XD*

Kondo: *thinking* Ohhh, Otae-san....How I long to see your smile at least once more........*and a giant spear knocks him away from the gorilla princess, and Otae shows up!*

(scene shifts to the bathroom, with Gintoki and Okita)

Gintoki: My left hand's got my pee on it. OVER.

Okita: I peed outside the urinal, OVER.

Okita: ....hey, she's going to be okay, right?

Gintoki: She still seemed kinda sad or something. GAH, who knows. Women are troublesome.

Okita: It's not fair for Kondo-san. He risked his life to see her smile. Geez.

Gintoki: Nothing to worry about. Women can be sad one minute, then happy the next.

Okita: I'm not talking about her. I'm talking about how Kondo-san, once he goes to the planet of the gorillas, ...he won't come back. Can't you think of something?

Gintoki: Don't worry about him either. That woman----

(scene shifts back to the banquet hall)

Otae: I'm paying you back for that favor.

Kondo: OTAE-SANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!

Shinpachi: ANEUE!

All of Shinsengumi, lead by Yamazaki: NEE-SAN ;__________;!!!!!!!!!!

Yamazaki: *oho tears of joy* YOU FINALLY AGREE TO MARRY COMMANDER?!?!?!?

Gorillas: *OHHHH, NOT LOOKING HAPPY*

Yamazaki: We---DO NOT WANT TO CATER ANYMORE TO YOU GORILLAS' NEEDS!!!! COME ON, SHINSENGUMI IS NOT GOING TO LOSE TO GORILLAS!!! WE NEED TO KEEP A PATH CLEAR FOR OTAE-SAN AND THE COMMANDER!! (and the Shinsengumi's fighting with the gorillas XD)

Kondo: ..Y...You guys!!!

Police Chief: KONDO! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU ALREADY LIKED SOMEONE ELSE?!?!?!? YOU SHOULD'VE SAID SOMETHING! (and he's beating up a gorilla too)

Kondo: Everyone......;_______;!!! I WANNA BE WITH EVERYONE!!!!

Otae: OHHHHHH!!! *runs toward the gorilla princess!!* WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY ---- *thinks* What do I say? My husband? NO. My man??? ER.....

(scene shifts back to the men's bathroom, and Hijikata joins Okita and Gintoki)

Gintoki: So okay. What exactly is going on?

Okita: Yeah. How does she feel about him? (referring to Otae re: Kondo)

Hijikata: You guys just don't understand women, do you? Of course she likes him! Don't they say that if she actually hates him, she actually does like him. So yeah. She likes him lots.

(scene shifts to the banquet hall again, and Otae has knocked down the Gorilla princess!)

Otae: HOW DARE YOU! YOU ALMOST LET MY BROTHER SEE YOU GUYS DOING THAT THING!!!!!!!

Kondo: *sends flying as well!*

Shinpachi and everyone else: ANEUE!! (and they're running for their lives out the door)

(meanwhile, outside the banquet hall, where guests come to give their gifts and all that good stuff)

Receptionist: Um, could you sign here?

Kyuu: I'm just here to show my support, that's all.

Receptionist: But that's a lot of money you just---

Kyuu: It's okay. I gave them quite a bit of trouble. And besides. I finally saw what i came looking for.

(annnnnd the arc ends with giant gorilla princess chasing all of them. Okita's kind of clinging to Gintoki, who's rather annoyed at this. Hijikata's running with a Kondo slung over his shoulder, Shinpachi's looking VERY scared, and Kagura a bit amused, and Otae's smiling)

melts — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 20:46:13 GMT

More Gintama chapters. 114 to 116. Couldn't edit the last post with these since apparently post would be too large =_=;;;;;

Chapters 110-113 here

Chapter 114

Minami: Hey, Kita Oojitsuki, how does my face look? (aha all bloody since Okita shanked him)

Kita: I think it looks like a penis.

Minami: What. I wanted to you to look at how badly I'm injured.

Kita: You're covered in blood. I think you should go to the doctors and make it clean again. Make sure to not infect anything.

Minami: DON'T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I HAVE AN STD!

Minami: Ehhhh? Doesn't this look cool though? Good-looking men looks even better while bleeding. Hey, help me take a picture of this. *at Kita*

Minami: Nishi, come here and take a picture too.

Nishi: Dammit, you're too immature.

Minami: It'll make for a good memory! We rarely get to get injured like this, you know. Isn't this cool---

Kita and Nishi: *pushes Minami out of the cellphone camera's way and hogs XDD* This fight should be interesting.

Kagura: I can't believe this. And look, their plates aren't even broken yet. If it was the Yoruzuya, I bet we can take care of it.

Okita: Do you miss them or something? You almost got beaten up.

Hijikata: So, Sougo you bastard, where'd you run off to earlier?

Kagura: HEY! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTING RIGHT NOW D:! *at Hijikata*

Hijikata: Best strategy in battle is targeting the enemy's weaknesses, then set the necessary traps. Hook, line, and sinker.

Kagura: WHO ARE YOU CALLING BAIT?! D:

Hijikata: Where's that guy from the Yoruzuya?

Okita: I'm sure he'll be fine.

Kagura: YOU ABANDONED GIN-CHAN! D: I'm going to go find him. He's lonely! I'm sure of it!!!!!

Hijikata: I THINK YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S LONELY. DON'T JUST RUN OFF LIKE THAT!

Nishi: *throws a boulder at Kagura* Hey. Stay still, girlie. It's only a matter of time before you guys are beaten, anyway. So it doesn't matter if you go help that guy (referring to gintoki) or not.

Hijikata: *thinks* Shit, he threw that boulder? That's some brute strength.

Minami: Ahh~ you messed up the house again. Koshinori-san is not going to be happy about that.

Nishi: Who cares. We only answer to the head (referring to Kyuu)

Kagura: *picks up a boulder and throws too!* Get out of my way. The other two (referring to Okita and Hijikata) will take of these guys here (referring to Minami and Kita, respectively). We'll have a good fight.

Nishi: *slams through the boulder and shatters it to pieces* I LIKE THAT STRENGTH OF YOURS! ALMOST LIKE A DEMON!!!! THEN AS YOU WISH!

Kita: Hey. *at Hijikata* Your opponent is here, Shinsengumi's Demon Vice-Commander.

Kita: You probably don't know this, but I've seen you around town quite a few times. You're the monkey king who's always leading that pack of animals who dare to call themselves samurais. Allow me to show you what being a samurai truly entails.

Hijikata: *TWITCH* Fine by me.

Minami: So I guess I'm suppose to fight you then? *at Okita*

Minami: My name is Minami Tosui. Since both of us are good looking men, let's fight fair, shall we? So let's not hit the face, okay? Otherwise, there will be some really sad women out there.

Okita: Oh, don't worry. We're just second-rate samurais anyway, so it's not like we have any luck with women.

Minami: Hey hey~ Do you really want that cute face of yours get messed up? You don't honestly think you third-rates can beat us?

Okita: Whatever. So besides the face, I can do whatever I want?

Minami: Hey. Don't forget you have to actually break the plate in order to win. Do you even know where my plate is?

Okita: *doesn't even bother with an answer, just starts attacking annnnnnnnd Minami is knocked down!*

Minami: *thinking* WHAT?!

Okita: Look. I'm not here to break plates or whatever. I'm just here to beat all of you up. *starts attacking again and Minami can NOT keep up at all XDDD*

Minami: *thinking* How...How is that possible?! This guy...he's too strong, and he---

Okita: *grabs Minami by his hair to expose the hidden plate, which is right at the nape of Minami's neck, tied to his necklace* So that's where your plate is. Ohh~ I should really be careful then, and not mess your face up, hmmm?

Minami: *thinking* AND HE'S A SADIST!

Okita: DON'T YOU DARE BELITTLE OUR COUNTRY SWORD FIGHTING ----- *GETS HIT BY KAGURA'S HEAD XDDDD; she er...bumped into him XD And both Kagura and Okita are down! XD*

Nishi: Minami, what are you doing? This is all because you're always running off looking for women and neglecting your training. Your plate okay?

Minami: Hoho, Nishi, that guy is troublesome. But, I look forward to it.

Okita: Hey, what are you doing? *at Kagura* Don't tell me you couldn't beat that big guy?

Kagura: Shut up! I'm....not so good right now. I think my wrist's dislocated.

Okita: You're not saying---!!

Nishi: Well, obviously, how can she still be okay after being attacked by us like that? She tried to protect her plate, and so her right hand got hurt. Give up!

Okita: *takes a look at the wrist* Hmmmm. If we make it go the other way, it should be okay.........

Nishi: Er...I don't think that's a good idea.....

Okita: *BREAKS THE WRIST! :D!*

Kagura: OWAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Okita: Eh? Wrong way?

Kagura: OW!!! YOU STUPID--!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!? *kicks Okita in the shins. HARD.....and Okita's leg = broken!*

Okita: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MY LEG!! MY LEG!!!!!! IT'S BROKEN!!! DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO BREAK IT?!?!?!?!

Kagura: Gin-chan said you should go all out in a fight >O

Nishi: Looks like it's decided then. You guys are fighting amongst yourselves. There's no way you can win now. (and meanwhile, Kagura is trying to run off to inside the house, while Okita's clinging onto her leg and refusing to let go XD)

Nishi: Give me the plates.

Kagura: NO!

Nishi: *attacks, and Okita and Kagura barely dodges. One crawls, the other runs, and they're trying to hide from Nishi*

Nishi: It's no use. A samurai who's lost his arm and his leg...he's useless. A samurai values above all, a decisive end to things. You guys are pitiful, hiding and crawling away. You make me sick.

Okita: Hmph. A decisive end to things? Sorry, we're second-rates. We don't talk bushido. ...A samurai without an arm and a leg....

Okita: Oi! Which do you hate more: teaming up with me, or losing to that guy?

Kagura: ...I hate both.

Okita: Me too.

Kagura: But... Gin-chan said we have to go all out in fights. And I owe you one for earlier.

Nishi: GET OUT OF THERE, YOU PITIFUL SAMURAIS!

Okita: We're here, you big lump. Let's fight that last fight here and now! (............he's .....riding on top of Kagura XDD;;; Seated on her shoulders, basically, and the plate is tied around his head) COME ON! >O

Nishi: ........What the.

Okita: If the guy who doesn't have a leg teams up with someone who doesn't have an arm, then....

Kagura: HEY!! DON'T CLING TO ME WITH YOUR LEGS SO TIGHTLY!!! IT'S GROSS! >O

Okita: I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!

Nishi: HAHAHAHHAHAA. Do you really think that'll work?

Okita: OF COURSE! We can even tap dance!

Kagura: I CAN'T TAP DANCE!

Okita: OKAY MAYBE WE CAN'T REALLY TAP DANCE!

Nishi: I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!! *goes for an attack!*

Kagura: *dodges all the attacks since she's on the bottom, annnnd Okita basically gets hit with all the attacks XDDDDD*

Okita: Hey--ow---ow---hey stop---ow ow--- it's not fair if the person on the bottom is dodging and I'm getting hit --ow ow ow---it hurts-- ow.

Nishi: *tries to swing his sword, but too tall, and his sword = too big = STUCK IN THE CEILING!*

Okita: That's the moment we've been waiting for. In a narrow space, swinging that big weapon? God, you're stupid.

Nishi: D-Don't tell me you were planning this all along--!

Okita: GO!! ATTACK!!!!

Kagura: ACCK!!!! *Okita + Kagura = too tall, so er....Okita kinda...bashed his his head against one of the beams in the ceiling XDDD;;;;;;;*

Nishi: HAHAHAHAHAH LOOK WHO'S STUPID NOW!

Kagura: OH?!?!??!?! *GRABS the unconscious Okita by the foot and uses him as a club and swings him at Nishi XD...both are ...KO'd, of course. Complete with broken plates for both Okita and Nishi*

Chapter 115

(Shinpachi and Kondo show up at where the Kagura-Okita-Nishi fight was, and surveying the damage. Okita and Nishi are lying in a heap, unconscious, and bleeding)

Shinpachi: ....Okita-san...he...

Kondo: ....How is that...Sougo....

Shinpachi: Oh no. He's leg's broken (referring to Okita)

Kondo: This is just too extreme. Both of them are in really bad condition. But there's no way for Sougo to have gotten his leg broken but still manage to win like that? Someone must've done it on purpose after the fight or something...

Kondo: NO!! SOUGO, YOU CAN'T LOSE!! RIGHT, SOUGO!!! YOU'RE ALWAYS THE FIRST TO UNDERSTAND ANY NEW CONCEPTS BACK AT THE DOJO, RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Kondo: YOU'RE PLAYING A JOKE ON ME, RIGHT!! COME ON, ANSWER ME, SOUGO!!!!

Sougo: *out like a light*

Kondo: ...................Unforgivable.

Kondo: I WILL NOT FORGIVE WHOEVER DID THIS!!! I THOUGHT WE ONLY HAD TO BREAK THE PLATES!! THERE WAS NO NEED TO GO TO SUCH EXTREMES TO WIN A FIGHT!!!!! DO THESE PEOPLE ONLY CARE ABOUT TORTURING OTHERS?!?!?!?!?

Shinpachi: *sees a dropped cellphone and thinks!* Maybe there's a clue on there that could tell us who did this?????

Shinpachi: *plays with the cellphone, and sees Kagura posing by the unconscious Nishi and Okita, looking rather smug XD*

Shinpachi: .....................

Kondo: DAMMIT! WHO DID THIS!!! SOUGO! I'LL AVENGE YOU!!!!!!

Shinpachi: ER--YEAH!!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!! I'LL KILL THEM!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Kondo: Exactly! ...Wait, why are you all sweaty and nervous-looking?

Shinpachi: TOO HOT HERE!! I demand more AC!

Kondo and Shinpachi: YEAH COME ON OUT! WE'RE HERE TO AVENGE OKITA!!!!

Kondo and Shinpachi: *walks in on Kita and Hijikata having lunch together* .....

Shinpachi: Ah, sorry for interrupting your meal.

Kondo: Wrong room. Please excuse us. *both leaves*

Kondo and Shinpachi: *comes running back* HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!!!!!

Kita: If we're hungry, we can't fight. Do you wish to join us?

Kondo: HOW CAN YOU BE THIS RELXED, TOUSHI!?!?!?!? YOU'RE EATING THE ENEMY'S FOOD!!! ENEMY!!!

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san, what are you doing?!?!?? Maybe we should do a three-on-one?????????

Hijikata: All of you, stay out of it. Besides, that's my fried rice.

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san!!! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE TALKING ABOUT FRIED RICE!

KIta: Oi. Hand me that bottle of ketchup. (at Hijikata)

Hijikata: Oh, this?

Shinpachi: What the...????

Kondo: They don't seem nervous at all.

Kita: You guys wouldn't understand. The fight between the two of us has already begun.

Hijikata: As a samurai, even if it's something as simple as eating or using chopsticks, you have to do it your way. Strict and precise.

Kita: Daily activities are all chances to hone your skills. That's how you become a real samurai.

Kita: Hijikata Toushirou. Do you truly understand that concept? The idea that you should limit yourself to become a samurai? *annnd he dumps a LOOOOTTT OF ketchup onto his rice XD*

Shinpachi: KETCHUP!?

Kondo: Fried rice with ketchup!?

Kita: Let me tell you something. People might think of me as a crazy ketchup lover, but I actually hate tomatoes. Looking at it makes me sick. But I eat the food that I hate the most, in order to train myself, and be a samurai.

Kondo and Shinpachi: *thinking* THAT'S NOT TRAINING. THAT'S JUST UNHEALTHY.

Kita: Can YOU do it? (at Hijikata)

Hijikata: *dumps a bunch of mayo on his rice XD*

Kita: AH!? What is that!??!?!?

Hijikata: This? That's mayonnaise.

Kita: *thinking* FRIED RICE WITH MAYO!??!?! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?!? CAN HE REALLY EAT THAT?!?!? OR MAYBE HE'S ACTUALLY SURPASSI---!!!!!!!!

Hijikata: Let me tell YOU something. People might think I'm a crazy mayo lover, but that's not true. Just looking at the Kewpie doll (note: Kewpie = a brand of mayo in Japan) makes me want to vomit.

Kondo and Shinpachi: *thinking* THAT'S JUST AN OUTRIGHT LIE!! YOU'D LIE TO WIN!!!!!!!

Kita: Ohhh? No wonder they call you the demon vice commander. This was an interesting meal.

Hijikata: I want a smoke. Got an ashtray?

Kondo and Hijikata: *BOTH ATTACK AT THE SAME TIME!*

Kita: Before you have your smoke, shouldn't you say something like, "I'm finished with my meal?"

Hijikata: Thank you for such a nasty lunch.

Kita: HERE YOU GO! Here's your ash tray! *throws a saucer at Hijikata's giant ass plate that's over his chest XD;*

Hijikata: *catches, and Kita tries to attack using this moment, but Hijikata dodges, then is sent flying out the room into the courtyard*

Kita: Oh, you're much sharper and quicker than I expected. Your sense of athleticism and instincts are both extremely exceptional. And not to mention, both honed by years of fighting in real life-and-death battles. Definitely a fighting style to be feared. Other swordsmen have no chance against you. But, those swordsmen are all third-rates. When you fight against a real kendo master, you'd lose.

Hijikata: Are you calling yourself a master now? Please. Someone as spoiled as you probably have never killed a fly before.

Kita: Hacking things down isn't kendo. Come on and show me what you've got.

Hijikata: Don't talk so big! *attacks! With one giant swing*

Kita: I've already seen through your technique. You purposely make big movements to lure in your opponents, then when they're close enough, you rely on your well-honed instincts to attack. I'VE ALREADY SEEN THROUGH YOU!

Kita: You rely on your intuition too much. *and Hijikata looks surprised, as Kita sends him flying. Again*

Kondo: TOUSHI!

Kita: You purposely twisted your body to avoid the plate getting hit? That's some scary instinct and reaction time. But, that's also your weakness.

Kondo: Shit. That guy really has seen through Toushi's fighting habits. (note: Kondo and Shinpachi are just sitting there and watching and commentating)

Kondo: For the Shinsengumi, when we fight, it's always between life and death. The enemy fight to not only win, but also to kill us. So even if we're just injured, it'll most likely be a really bad injury. No different from being dead. Which is why we must always be alert and have a sense of impending danger.

Kondo: Toushi's been fighting on the front lines for years now, so his instincts are extremely sharp and can sense when to attack, and how to lead the attack to his advantage. He's stronger than all of us in that respect. But---

Kondo: That guy (Kita) isn't fighting to kill. He's been in the dojo for years, and they have a completely different style than us who fight out in the real world. For him, he scopes out the other person's INTENTIONS, then move in for victory. So Toushi's overly-sharp instincts just seem to be a weakness, and it's all because of the giant plate he's got. Toushi's instincts are sharper than usual, because he needs to protect that big plate, but that also means he'll react to any movement that Kita makes.

Kondo: That guy (Kita again) uses that to his advantage and can lure out Toushi anyway he wants. *annnnnd we see Kita sending Hijikata....Flying. Again. Straight for the pond (they were fighting on a bridge)

Kondo: He's (Kita) a well-trained kendo master, who can fight by controlling and determining how his opponents are planning to attack and thinking.

Kita: If this were a fight out in a dojo competition setting, I don't know how many points I just won. Even though you keep saying how in a real fight, you'd win, I don't think that's the case. Give up. That big plate is just going to put you on the defensive.

Hijikata: *jumps out from under the bridge, hacking parts of it to pieces in the process, and cuts through one part of Kita's outer coat*

KIta: You still want to fight?

Hijikata: I don't care if it's one point, or two points, or even more than that. I don't care if I lose an arm, a leg, as long as I'm still breathing, I"ll keep fighting. That's a real brawl for you.

Kita: And that's why I hate you country gangster types.

Hijikata: *holds up a saucer plate that looks a LOT like the plates Kyuu handed out to everyone in the beginning!* Oh by the way? I borrowed an ash tray from you. I really needed a smoke.

Kita: O_______O!!!!!!!!! *thinking* ...Is that...my plate....????? *at Hijikata* YOU BASTARD! WHEN DID YOU-- GIVE THAT BACK! (but, as he runs, he sees that the sash that holds his plate has been cut by Hijikata, BUT, his plate is still there and on his person. Just kinda ...hanging there. But still on him )

Kita: *thinking* wait what? I still have the plate...? Then...the plate he's holding is from when I threw that saucer during the meal...???

Hijikata: *moves behind Kita* I don't know what you mean by lures and baits, but if you're talking about playing tricks on opponents, I've got plenty of that. *WHACK AND SENDS KITA FLYING INTO THE POND XD*

Hijikata: No matter how much ketchup you put on your fried rice or whatever, that's still normal. Face it, you can't jump out of the confines of the dojo, and that's the limitations of your dojo fighting style. Always playing by the rules.

Hijikata: I put mayonnaise on desserts, even. Come on, let me show you how real men fight.

Chapter 116

Kita: *gets up from the pond, his glasses have fallen off* If it's not one thing, it's another. I've heard plenty of excuses from guys like you, who look down at dojo practices. You'll say things like "even though we lost in the dojo kendo competitions, if it's a real fight, we'd win." I'm sick of hearing that. Those are just excuses. Those are all excuses by people who don't practice and don't take things seriously. *he re-ties his sash that holds his plate in place, annnd puts on his glasses. His eyes, btw, look like inverted 3's. I'm not kidding. It's quite comical XDDD*

Kita: I don't care what you think, but it doesn't matter how many "real" battles you've fought. If you don't practice, you're still going to lose in the end.

Hijikata: Oi, why are your eyes like that?

Kita: There's nothing wrong with my eyes >O

Kita: In any case, while you were swinging that big sword of yours around senselessly, we were practicing. So there's no way you'd win.

Hijikata: You really like to argue, don't you. Whatever. My turn. YOU BASTARD CAN SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET A TASTE OF A REAL FIGHT! *annnd both move in for the attack!*

Kita: *thinking* He's still attacking. But it doesn't matter how you attack, as long as you have that big plate, you're still at a disadvantage. If I try to break your plate, you'd have to go on the defensive. I know exactly how you'll move. *swings from the side to try to hit Hijikata's giant ass plate* Come on, this is bait for you.

Hijikata: *does NOT fall for the trap, and instead returns it with a powerful swing*

Kita: *thinking* What????

Hijikata: I'M SICK OF STUPID AND CONDESCENDING BAITS LIKE THAT! If you really want to try and lure me, you gotta get some expensive cuisine and cover it with mayonnaise.

Hijikata: Right now, I don't care about your baits or whatever. I'M NOT going to be at a disadvantage!

Kita: *grimacing and thinking* He's continuously attacking, ack.

Kondo: Aha. With this, there's no way for that guy (Kita) to do anything to Toushi. Offense is the best defense. That's the Toushi I know!

Kita: Do you plan on settling this quickly? But in a place like this (they're fighting in the pond, so yeah), you're just going to end up using energy. Besides, you have a fatal weakness. I've already seen through you. You're just attacking unchangingly. There's no way that kind of method would win.

Kita: *gets hit though!*

Hijikata: I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE SEEN THROUGH ME. I BET YOU CAN'T SEE THROUGH MY FOOT WHILE UNDER WATER! *kicks Kita across the face and whacks him on the head! Kita barely blocks*

Kita: Even though you said earlier that I can't leave the confines of the rules, but you're the same too, being limited, I mean. We've learned thousands of ways to counter all sorts of attacks. Any move you make, we know exactly how to block it because of practice. That's the difference between someone who's highly trained, and someone like you. You rely on your talents and instincts too much, and don't practice enough. *a slash at Hijikata's face!*

Shinpachi: KONDO-SAN! We should do something!! This doesn't look good! ...Kondo-san?

Kondo: *blocks Shinpachi's way* Sorry, please don't get in the way of that fight. He really hates losing, so if you're going to get involved, he'll be pissed, and you might die. He (Hijikata) knows better than anyone that just whacking and killing things won't get you anywhere. Certainly not winning. Am I right, Toushi?

Kondo: This all happened before we came to Edo...when we were still at that country dojo....

(scene shifts to flash back!)

Kondo: There was an annoying and scary guy, running around and fighting all the dojos, beating people up. Everyone was real pissed about that, but nobody wanted to challenge this scary guy one-on-one. So they banded together and went off to see him. That scary guy was truly scary. Even faced with all those people threatening him, he didn't budge. So obviously, he didn't apologize to any of them. He single-handedly beat all of them. *and we see young Hijikata fighting here*

Kondo: But they outnumbered him, and so he didn't win in the end. (annnd we see Hijikata lying in a heap, and Kondo looking over him)

Kondo: I was kind of hesitant, but in the end, I brought him back to our dojo. Besides, considering his injuries, he might've died.

(still flash back, but scene shifts to Kondo practicing at the dojo with a young Okita. VERY young XD)

Kondo: 323! 324!!! *swinging a giant tree branch for practice* GAH!! TOO MUCH! THAT'S ENOUGH SWINGS!! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!

Dojo master: WHAT?!?!?!?!? IF YOU'RE THAT PATHETIC, HOW CAN I LEAVE THE DOJO TO YOU!?!?!?!? I'M GONNA DIE SOON!

Kondo: SO?! I'm covered in blood already!! I don't want to keep swinging this stupid piece of wood!

Dojo master: KENDO ISN'T NECESSARILY ABOUT STRENGTH, IDIOT! AS LONG AS YOU PRACTICE, YOU'LL KNOW WHAT I MEAN!! Your hands are merely swinging the tree trunk, but you need to control your breathing AND your whole body!!!!! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!

Dojo master: *points at a young Okita currently swinging a giant tree branch!* SEE!! LOOK AT SOUGO! EVEN THOUGH HE'S TINY, HE CAN DO IT!!! HE REALLY IS A GENIUS!!!

Dojo master: Eh? What the---! *annnnd it's revealed that Okita merely rolled up a sheet of dried bark so it LOOKS like a thick tree branch that's really heavy, but it's....not XDDDD*

Kondo: -___-;;;;;;;;;;;;;; *looks at young Hijikata, who's sitting just outside the dojo entrance by himself* YOu wanna give it a try? Or I guess not, since you're injured. I think you really do have a lot of talent! Both your reaction time and instincts are very exceptional, and that's not something you can learn anywhere. So come on, how about it? Wanna practice with us? Talent alone won't get you anywhere. See, in the end, you couldn't beat all of them, right?

Hijikata: I have no interest in that. Holding a tree trunk isn't going to make me stronger.

Kondo: *thinking and narrating* I guess it couldn't have been helped. He was just a violent guy, after all.

Young Okita: Hey, what's up with that guy, huh? Can I tell him to die??? :x

Kondo: *still thinking and narrating* BUt he never left the dojo. He always just sat there and watched us practice. But one day, he left. His injuries weren't healed, though, so I was really worried, and ran off to look for him.

(still flash back, scene shifts to Hijikata faced with a WHOOOLLLLLE load of people who are trying to attack/fight Kondo's dojo)

Random people: I DON'T CARE! WE'RE GOING TO TEAR DOWN THIS DOJO!! THERE'S A RUMOR KONDO'S RECRUITING YOU!?!?? WHAT THE HELL!!!!

Hijikata: I already said I'm leaving. So don't make any trouble for him.

Random people: SO?!?!?! BESIDES, BEFORE WE BEAT UP KONDO, WE SHOULD BEAT YOU UP!!!

Hijkata: *doesn't even answer, and beats the guy up in one swing*

Kondo: *narrating* He was even more terrifying than before. Even though his injuries weren't healed, judging by his movements, they were more self-assured and much more powerful. But by the time I finally snapped out of it, he and I were surrounded by blood and bodies. We were the only two remained standing (both Kondo and Hijikata ended up fighting off the random thugs)

Hijikata: Why'd you come?

Kondo: Well, if you're going to use my dojo's style to fight off other people, that could be troublesome for my dojo, sooooooo.

Hijikata: WHAT. Since when did I joined up with your dojo?!

Hijikata: Geez. I didn't know you were that nice of a guy. I wanted to pay you back for taking me in earlier, but I guess I end up owing you more.

Kondo: You don't have to think that you owe me anything. You're always going to be welcome here. I've already considered you a disciple! All those bloody blisters on your hands? That's proof. (Hijikata's hands are covered in bandages, and bleeding. Nasty, yop)

Kondo: Haha. How many times did you practice and swing that big tree trunk? Even I'm not that into it. No wonder your injuries never healed.

Hijikata: Those are not bloody blisters. That was just me getting hit by the department store's automatic doors. (aha,an outright lie XD)

Kondo: *narrating* That's Hijikata Toushirou for you. He'll never let you know, and he'll never let it slip....but I know

(back to the present, where we see Kita and Hijikata fighting still)

Kondo: Back then...and even now, his entire head's filled with kendo, and how to improve himself.

Hijikata: *dunks his arm + sword in water and getting ready to attack*

Kita: *thinking* You're hiding your sword under water so I can't see how you plan on attacking? *at Hijikata* PLEASE! THAT'S PATHETIC!! LIKE I'LL FALL FOR THAT!

Kondo: *explaining to shinpachi* He doesn't like hearing other people saying how he never practices. Maybe compared to Yagyuu's fighting style, his does seem much more rough and unrefined. But, that sword of his is extremely sharp---

Hijikata: *slashes through Kita's defenses, breaks Kita's sword into pieces annnnd breaks Kita's plate too*

Kondo: His sword can cut through anything.

Kita: *lying in a heap!*

Shinpachi: HIJIKATA-SAN!!!!!!

Hijikata: Sorry. Let you guys wait.

Kondo: Toushi. Looks like you got injured during the fight too. *smiles*

Hijikata: Hah? This isn't from the fight. This is from that damn department store's doors.

Chapters 117-123 (end) here.

Yagyuu Kyuubei arc - more of Gintama manga translations

melts — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 04:40:17 GMT

SPRING BREAK IS HEREEEEEE YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

...So that means more Gintama translations for now XD; Yagyuu Kyuubei arc! Otae is getting married!? Wait what?! So of course guys have to go and fight.

Chapters 110-113 for now. More to come the next couple of days.

chapter 110

(scene opens where Otae-san works bar/host club/you get the idea)

Women who work there: Welcome!

Women: Ah!

Women: Wahhhh~~~! It's Hijikata-san! It's Hijikata-san!

Random woman A: It's not Kondo that's visiting today! It's Hijikata-san!

Random woman B: Hijikata-san~~! Please be sure to request me!

Waiter/Emcee/Receptionist person: ....Hijikata-san, which lady would you like?

Hijikata: ...............

Otae: So, why are you here? I thought Kondo had finally learned some manners, but now it's you who's visiting?

Otae: Shinsengumi must lead a comfortable life! Using tax-payers' money and coming to places like this, hmm?

Hijikata: It's not because I want to be here.

Otae: Oh yeah. Does Kondo-san know about this?

Hijikata: About what?

Otae: About us. And our relationship.

Hijikata: .....what relationship?!

Otae: I can see how being so popular is a problem. The superior and his subordinate are fighting for the same woman. This is like a soap opera.

Hijikata: Oi. Don't make up weird stories like that. I'm only here to--

Otae: But I'm not THOSE kind of women! If this relationship won't pan out like Monday night dramas, I am going to refuse!

Hijikata: You misunderstood why I came here.

Otae: *completely ignores and keeps going on about dramas XD* But looking at your face...You seem more like a Sunday night drama kind of guy. Or maybe Saturday night mayonnaise detective.

Hijikata: Who you calling a mayonnaise detective?!

Hijikata: Look, in any case, what about Kondo-san? Is he a Monday night drama kinda face, or "I've-proposed-too-many-times" kind of face?

Otae: I think he's more of a Tuesday night crime drama corpse.

Otae: *FINALLY GETS IT* ..Hijikata-san, don't tell me you're here for Kondo-san's sake...

All of Shinsengumi (minus Okita and Kondo), lead by Yamazaki: OTAE SAN!!!! PLEASE MARRY OUR COMMANDER AND BE OUR NEE-SAN!

Otae: Ehhh? Are you guys threatening me?

Hijikata: ........Well, actually. Lately, people have been meaning to set Kondo-san up for marriage.

Hijikata: He's really close to 30, and the Bakufu wants him to think about his future, so they're encouraging ((note: more like setting him up - an arranged marriage)) him to get married. And not to mention, since you're always rejecting him, he's getting really desperate. It's gotten to the point where as long as it's a woman, that's fine with him.

Otae: Is that so? Then that's great! He won't come and stalk me! And this way Kondo-san will have a loving wife too. Everyone would be happy!

Hijikata: *shows her a photo* Oh yeah. I'm sure. The woman (referring to the one that the bakufu had in mind for Kondo) is after all, the Gorilla Planet's Princess Barbaruth. Quite a match. (note: THIS IS AN ACTUAL GORILLA XDDDDDD)

Otae: Wow! They look so alike! What a match! A match made in heaven!

Yamazaki: NEESAN! PLEASE TAKE A CLOSER LOOK! THERE ARE VERY SLIGHT DIFFERENCES BETWEEN HER AND KONDO-SAN! SHE IS ACTUALLY A GORILLA!!!

Yamazaki: Please, Nee-san! Do something! Otherwise, we're going to end up calling that freak "neesan" for the rest of our lives! ONLY YOU CAN STOP THIS D:!

Otae: Don't worry so much! They say that hairy women are very emotional and sensitive. I'm sure she'll make a good wife.

Yamazaki: SHE'S NOT JUST A LITTLE HAIRY! SHE'S VERY VERY HAIRY!

Yamazaki: *bowing now XD* Everything you've said is correct, Nee-san! But we don't want you to necessarily marry Kondo-san, just talk to him! We're begging you now. PLEASE. Someone like Nee-san would surely understand how heavy-hearted we feel about all this----

Otae: *picks up Yamazaki by his head XDDDD* Heavy? You said heavy?

Otae: *throws Yamazaki XD* I THINK YOUR BRAINS ARE FILLED WITH LEFT OVER TOFU >O

Otae: GOD YOU GUYS ARE ANNOYING!

Club owner: Otae-san! That's the wrong approach! That'll only encourage the stalkers!!!!

Hijikata: *while Shinsengumi is getting beaten up by Otae-san, he's on the cellphone with Kondo XDDDDD* Oi, Kondo-san. I don't think this plan will work. You're just gonna have to tough it out.

Hijikata: *still on the phone* Wait what? Women saying no actually means yes? Nono, I think this is a definite no on her part. Oh, by the way, next time, don't tell me to run your errands for you.

((annnnd mystery person shows up! This is Yagyuu Kyuubei, btw. I'll call them Kyuu for short since lolz long name is long))

Shinsengumi: *surprised at this sudden entrance!* !!!!

Shinsengumi: Who're you!?

Kyuu: All you men targeting a single woman? Isn't that too much? What kind of samurais are you?

Shinsengumi: WAIT WHAT?! IF ANYTHING, IT'S MORE LIKE OTAE-SAN IS BEATING US UP! And we're definitely samurais!

Kyuu: You guys can't lay a hand on her. She's very important to me.

Shinsengumi: *PISSED* WHAT?! FOR A SHORTIE, YOU SURE TALK BIG!

Hijikata: Shut up. Come on, let's go. No point in us staying here. Oh, and kid (referring to Kyuu), are you even legal? Get outta here.

Kyuu: What did you just call me?

Kyuu: I'm not---

Kyuu: *tries to attack Hijikata, but Hijikata barely manages to block at the last minute* a kid.

Hijikata: *TWITCH*

Kyuu: I'm Yagyuu Kyuubei.

Otae: Eh? Kyuu-chan?!

(scene shifts to Gintoki, Shinpachi and Kagura, currently fixing up a roof)

Gintoki: Eh? Your sister didn't come home until this morning?

Shinpachi: Yeah. Because of her work, she always comes up the next morning. But she came home later than usual today. And she didn't even say hi. Just changed her clothes, and left again.

Gintoki: Shinpachi, at this point, just go cook your own red bean rice quietly. (I'm assuming this is some sort of a slang or custom? Basically it means like, telling Shinpachi to like, take care of himself since his sister is probably going to be married off or something XD )

Shinpachi: DON'T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT!

Shinpachi: Before she's actually married, I'm not going to do that! I'll get slapped, anyway! She doesn't even have anyone in mind right now for marriage! SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME IF I DO THAT!

Shinapchi: I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT. NOPE. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

Gintoki: You really love your sister a little too much, Shinpachi. You know, legally, you're not supposed to get married to your sister. She can finally get rid of you as a burden and enter the real world where women belong!

Gintoki: THEN AS HER BROTHER, YOU WILL NEED TO COOK RED BEAN WITH RICE. ...And do it while crying!

Kagura: GIN-CHAN! When I grow up, will I be able to eat red bean with rice?!

Gintoki: You can only eat red bean bread.

Gintoki: OKAY! Lunch time!

Kagura: ;____; It's red bean bread again! We've been eating that for that past 2,3 days! D:

Shinpachi: *semi-sniffling* Dammit ;__; who's---IS ANEUE REALLY---?!?!?

Shinpachi: *looks down and sees Kondo!* EH?! KONDO-SAN?! ...DON'T TELL ME---HE'S GOING TO---BE WITH THAT GORILLA? (Gintoki and co. are repairing a roof of an important restaurant some kind, and so yeah XD)

Kondo: Hmm?

Police chief (gah, sorry. I can't remember/find his name, but he doesn't show up here much): Kondo, what are you doing?

Kondo: Hmm? Oh, er, nothing. I just thought someone called out my name.

Police chief: Oi, be strong, you. Are you nervous? But I guess that can't be helped. This is your first time being set up like this, right?

Police chief: Actually, I met my wife through an arranged marriage as well. God I was nervous. But she was prettier than her picture, so I was really happy.

Police chief: So pictures are not reliable, Kondo. I know in her picture, she looks like a gorilla. But her facial structure is just different LIKE a gorilla's, that's all.

Kondo: You say "like" a gorilla. It IS a gorilla. I think she IS a gorilla!

Police chief: Nono, she's probably just nervous, and so was kind of panting while they took the picture---

Kondo: PANTING BECAUSE SHE'S NERVOUS?! THAT'S TOO MUCH! WHY'S SHE SO HAIRY!? HOW CAN SOMEONE PANT LIKE THAT?!

Police Chief (PC for short) : Kondo, I'll be honest with you. This is an important political marriage. Earth and the Gorilla Planet can never get along, so we'll need you to solve this.

PC: It all depends on you, Kondo. You hold Earth's fate in your hands. I arranged for us to meet at this fancy restaurant, so don't screw it up.

Kondo: You might say that, but..... ....>.> That's a gorilla.

PC: And that's why I say you shouldn't care so much about the picture! I bet she's three times more beautiful than you can ever imagine. Now come on, let's go.

(..........ANNNND THEY COME FACE TO FACE WITH A GIANT FEMALE GORILLA IN A KIMONO XDDDDDD)

Kondo: I THINK THIS IS MORE LIKE SHE'S 3 TIMES BIGGER THAN I CAN EVER IMAGINE!

(Otae and Kyuu pass by Kondo + gorilla, heading toward another part of the restaurant)

Otae: ...?

Kyuu: What's wrong, Tae-chan?

Otae: Nothing. I thought I just saw a gorilla just now.

Kyuu: You're saying silly things again. You're still that interesting.

(scene shifts back to Kondo + Gorilla princess XD )

Kondo: ...so...er...princess Barbaruth! What kind of um, hobbies do you have...????

Gorilla: UWAH!

Kondo: ...OH! That's um...that's great! That's just as fun as um...PSHU PSHU or DON DON, huh? ....But er...if you...um, over...do it? It'll be bad for your shoulder! Oh..Um...or maybe you're saying it doesn't hurt your shoulder???? .....SO HOW ABOUT SOME VEGETABLES????

Kondo: *thinking* CRAP. I don't understand a word she's saying!

Kondo: *thinking* ...Does she even understand what I'm saying?! Am I overthinking things? She's starting to look pissed.

Kondo: *thinking* I can't tell if she's getting angry, or....???? SHIT. IF THIS CONTINUES, EARTH IS GOING TO GET DESTROYED. Oh no! I'm too nervous, and now I really have to go crap!

Kondo: *thinking* WHAT DO I DO, WHAT DO I DO?!??! How can I do this without being completely undiplomatic?!?!?!? Ah, I know! I'll ALSO say UWAH! Maybe with a hand gesture too? That'll be fine, right???????

Kondo: um, UWAH! *POINTS OUTSIDE* Translation into Gorilla language: Want to go on a walk with me? ((ohhhh, poor Kondo-san))

Kondo: EH!?!? WHY'S SHE FOLLOWING ME OUTSIDE?!?!? OH NO! THIS IS BAD!

(scene shifts to Kyuu and Otae)

Otae: It really has been a long time. I heard from your grandfather that you went on a trip to become a samurai. I didn't think you would come back. You should've told me sooner.

Kyuu: Nobody knows I'm back yet. I came straight for you.

Otae: um....

Kyuu: I really wanted to see you.

Kyuu: *CLINGS to Otae*

Otae: H-Hey!

Kyuu: Do you remember that promise back then? I kept my end of the promise, and I became stronger, and came back. Now it's your turn, Tae-chan.

(scene shifts outside in the restaurant's courtyard, and the gorilla princess has been knocked out by a large brick XD)

Kondo: PRINCESS!!! WHAT'S GOING ON??!??! WHY ARE BRICKS FALLING?!???!?!?

Gintoki: Ah, sorry. My hand slipped.

Kagura: OH! There are TWO gorillas! :O

Kondo: SHIT! ((.....and he kinda...er........crapped in his pants. OTL))

(scene shifts back to Otae and Kyuu, and Kyuu just kissed Otae)

Chapter 111

Shinpachi: We've fixed all we can, and if there are any more leaks, please be sure to let us know!

Shinpachi: Wow, we got paid a lot this time. I think I'll go buy some Haggan-Daz for Aneue. Haha, I must've been overthinking things. Why would Aneue bring home some stranger random guy home, right? That's just not possible and not like her. *walking along*

Otae: Hey, stop that--

Shinpachi: *passes by the section of the restaurant where Otae and Kyuu are, and sees them kissing OH DEAR GOD*

Otae: I SAID STOP IT! *pushes Kyuu away* What--what do you think you're doing??!

Shinpachi + Otae + Kyuu, all just staring at each other : ..................................

(scene shifts to Gorilla princess, Gintoki, Kagura, annnd Kondo. Gorilla has a giant bump on her head XD)

Kondo: PRINCESS! ARE YOU OKAY!??!?!?!?

Kondo:*thinking* SHIT SHIT!!!! She must be really pissed! And I can't believe I...that...in my pants!

Gintoki: OIIIII. What are you doing here, anyway?

Kondo: *thinking* And I can't believe THESE people are here too!

Kagura: Don't tell me you got so desperate, you're going out with a real gorilla?

Gintoki: Hey, that's too mean. Jokes should have a limit too. I bet that's his brother.

Kondo: *thinking* I MUST NOT ADMIT THAT I'M GETTING SET UP WITH A GORILLA, AND THAT...MY...THAT...AND MY PANTS!

Kondo: O--Oi! Don't joke like that! She's um...She's my pet!

Gintoki: Pet? Really? That big one!?

Kondo: Um, see. She was looking at me really sadly from the shop window, so I bought her. *thinking* OH GOD. I'M SO SORRY, PRINCESS. BUT THIS IS WHERE OUR LANGUAGE BARRIER IS A GOOD THING

Kagura: *jumps onto the gorilla and trying to force feed it something XD* Awww~ Come on! Eat this!

Kondo: HEY! DON'T JUST RANDOMLY TRY TO FEED HER!

Kagura: :O These are red beans! :O

Kondo: WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING TO PRINCESS?!??!

Gintoki: WHat do you mean, Princess?!

Kondo: HUH?! NO! THAT'S ER, THAT'S HER NAME! PRINCESS!

Kondo: In any case, she's clearly very full. Look! She's spitting it all out! Stop feeding her plea---

Gintoki: *SMACKS THE GORILLA XD* HOW DARE YOU WASTE FOOD!

Kondo: HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Kondo: COME ON! Stop fooling around, you two!

Kagura: Man, she's spoiled :x

Kondo: OKAY OKAY, I GET IT! I'LL GO HOME AND DISCIPLINE HER! NOW BOTH OF YOU LEAVE!

Kondo: *thinking* Oh no. If we stay here any longer, who knows what the princess would do! *at Gintoki and Kagura* Okay, we were going for a walk, so we have to go now----!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gintoki: Eh? What's that?

Kagura: Ah, shit :O (note: ...literally XD;;;;;;;;;;)

Kondo: ..........DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDX!!!! *thinking* OH NO! THESE STYLES OF KIMONOS...THEY'RE LOOSE AND SO--- IT FELL OUT!!!

Gintoki: Um, I think it fell out of your pants.

Kagura: You even kicked it a bit.

Kondo: ER....PRINCESS!!! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO NOT JUST RANDOMLY DO YOUR BUSINESS ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE! *throws the gorilla XD*

Kondo: Gah, what am I going to do about this. She does this all the time, you know.

Gintoki: No, it fell out of YOUR pants.

Kondo: OI! Sakata! How dare you say that ! I'm a man of almost 30 years of age!

Kagura: But look :O There's a trail of it behind you :O

Kondo: !!! UM, UM. You misunderstood! These are left over crackers, and we're just, um, laying them down as markers so we won't get lost.

Gintoki: I think you're already lost in the maze that is known as life.

Gorilla: RAWWWWWRRRRR

(scene shifts to Shinpachi, Otae and Kyuu)

Otae: Ah, Shin-chan! Um, please, let me explain....Um, this is...um...

Shinpachi: ......WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU TWO ARE DOING?!?!?!?!?!??!

Shinpachi: YOU BASTARD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER?!?! *grabs Kyuu by the collar*

Otae: SHIN-CHAN!

Kyuu: Oh, YOU're Shinpachi? I see you're still clinging to your sister.

Kyuu: *throws Shinpachi across the room* You should learn to be more independent.

Otae: SHIN CHAN!

Kyuu: It's time to leave. Look at yourself. Because you're in that sorry state, your sister's afraid to leave.

Shinpachi: !!! Why you---

Shinpachi: ...You're Kyuubei---- You're Yagyuu Kyuubei! You just show up randomly, and then say some weird stuff about leaving?! What are you babbling about!?!??

Kyuu: That's exactly what I'm saying.

Kyuu: You didn't know? Tae-chan and I already made a promise when we were kids, that we are going to get married. She's my fiancee, and I'm going to bring her home today.

Shinpachi: WHAT?!?!?!?

Kyuu: You don't understand. She never belonged to you. She belongs with me. And you have no business to interfere.

Shinpachi: He's lying! Babbling about childhood promises--- Hey! Say something, aneue!

Shinpachi: ...Aneue....? (Otae is looking really really sad D: )

Shinpachi: ANEUE! WHY ARE YOU NOT SAYING ANYTHING?!

Otae: Shin-chan. I'm sorry...I....

Shinpachi: ANEUE!! WHY--- ANEUE!!

(ANNNND A LOUD BOOM XD Gorilla, Kondo, Gintoki, and Kagura crashes into the room XD)

Kondo: OH GOD IT HURTS.

Gintoki: HEY! Do something!! I THOUGHT SHE WAS YOUR PET.

Kondo: Nono!! SHe's actually a princess!! X____X!!!

Kondo/Gintoki/Kagura: Eh!? Otae-san!?

Gintoki: Are we interrupting?

Otae: .....Everyone..... Good bye. ((....and she's crying and leaving D: ))

Kondo + Kagura + Gintoki: .......................??!?!?!?!?!

Gintoki: Oi. *grabs Otae by the shoulder but OOPS, ANGRY GORILLA IS ON THE LOOSE AGAIN*

Kondo: SHIT! PRINCESS IS COMING OVER! Everybody, apologize to her first!!!!

Kyuu: *carries Otae off!*

Shinpachi: ANEUE!!!!

Kondo: NONO!! YOU SAY UWAH! NOT ANEUE!!!

(scene shifts to Shinsengumi headquarters, with Okita and Hijikata)

Hijikata: Haa~~ Dammit, and this was a new sword too. (it has a slight crack, due to him blocking Kyuu's attack)

Okita: You lost, didn't you, Hijikata-san?

Hijikata: I didn't lose. There's just a slight crack.

Okita: Was it because of that guy at the Yoruzuya? You must've lost. Yep.

Hijikata: I didn't lose. As long as I say I didn't lose, I didn't lose.

Okita: Wow, as expected of the great Hijikata-san. He lost, and he's still this stubborn. I'm so envious of your shamelessness.

Hijikata: Since this sword is kinda useless right now, I might as well use it to chop of your head. How's that.

Okita: Hijikata-san, I think if if that guy was actually serious, we would've been in some serious trouble. That guy...he's called Yagyuu something.

Okita: The Yagyuu family is a family of generals and military leaders. But ever since the Amanto's arrival, Kendo's been dwindling. Yet a lot of people still join up with their dojo to learn their technique. Yagyuu Kyuubei is the next family leader, and although he's short and looks like a kid, he's actually very fast on his feet, and they call him the strongest thus far in the family.

Okita: But for those who only study within the confines of the dojo, compared to us, we should have the advantage, seeing as how we fight real battles. But guess we country folk are just not as good as them~~

Hijikata: *TWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH XDDDD*

Okita: But in any case, I guess in both kendo and in love.... if he is indeed Otae-san's fiance, then I guess Kondo-san's pretty much beat.

Hijikata: Sougo, don't underestimate Kondo. I'm sure he'll be fine. I've always admired how he's always gung-ho, and makes sure that whatever he does, he'll succeed.

Okita: ...But what if he really succeeds? What if we have to call that Gorilla our nee-san????

(scene shifts to two men in the rain, standing outside a dojo, then shifts again to the Yoruzuya)

Gintoki: Shinpachi didn't show up again today. Geez, I should just fire him.

Kagura: Gin-chan, is it true that anego (affectionate term for "sister"; Kagura uses it to refer to Otae-san) isn't coming back? She sent a letter saying something about she's not coming back and she has bridal lessons...

Gintoki: Yeah. If you're going to get married off to a family like Yagyuu's, you have to learn a lot of things. Eh well. Although I have no clue what the hell's going on, if it's a promise, then it's a promise. Besides, now their dojo's saved.

Kagura: Gin-chan...My mommy once said that you would only smile when you first get married. Not many people can keep smiling. But if you can, then you've had a good life. But....Anego...can she really keep smiling...? *thinking back to how Otae's crying and saying good bye to all of them*

Kagura: I think she's hiding something! She must! It's my intuition!

Gintoki: Idiot. Anyone can tell she's hiding something. You don't need intuition for that. But still, it's clear that it's her own choice.

Gintoki: So of course she would keep smiling and--- *thinks back also to when Otae was crying and saying good-bye* ....TCH.

Gintoki: Dammit, why'd you let us see you off like that?

(scene shifts to outside the dojo aka Yagyuu's house)

Random guards: HEY. Who the hell are you? You wanna join up with our dojo? Sorry. This is the Yagyuu's private home. We're damn famous people, so if you want to join, you can't just be small-fries.

Random guards: Or are you guys here to make trouble (here taken to mean overthrowing the Yagyuu dojo; a challenge, duel, etc from one dojo to another. Big serious stuff D: ), and trying to take down the dojo? You better not, we're the Yagyuu---

Shinpachi and Kondo: Ehhhhh? What do you mean, we're here to make trouble??? >:DDDDDDDDD *KICKS THE GUARDS DOWN XD*

A whole load of people, supporters/students of the Yagyuu family: ENEMY!! WHO ARE THEY!? HOW DARE THEY!!!!

Shinpachi: I AM TENDOU MUSHINRYUU (note: The "ryuu" here is taken to mean like, one dojo's style/technique. A pun/joke is based on this later, so XD;) DOJO'S MASTER! SHIMURA SHINPACHI!

Kondo: AND I'M HIS DISCIPLE GORILLA ISAO!

Kondo and Shinpachi: WE'RE HERE TO CHALLENGE THE SO-CALLED NUMBER ONE YAGYUU DOJO! .......Even though we're really not that interested in actually doing that and that's not exactly why we're here....buuuuuuuutt.......

Shinpachi: GIVE ME BACK MY SISTER! >O *kicks down a bunch of people*

Kondo: GIVE US BACK OTAE-SAN!!!!

Random supporters/students of the Yagyuu dojo: ASSHOLES! TAKE THEM DOWN! >O

(and a bunch of people just made an entrance!)

Everyone: !!!!

Supporters of the Yagyuu dojo: NOW WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?!

Gintoki: Sorry. Not just the two of them.

Gintoki: Shinpachi, just for today, we're also your disciple. >| ((Kagura, Okita, Hijikata are also here))

Hijikata: Then what are we, the Natural-Perm-Ryuu dojo?

Shinpachi: Gin-san! Kagura-chan! O_O!!!!

Kondo: YOU GUYS?!?!?!?!

Chapter 112

(scene shifts to Kyuu and older Yagyuu, the father. Father = Koshinori. Koshi for short)

Koshi: I say, Kyuubei...I'm really disappointed in you. Three years ago, you left for your studies. I thought this meant you would help bring the Yagyuu back into glory, but instead, you came running back, and brought a girl with you!? You wanna marry her?

Koshi: What have you been doing these past 3 years? Looking for a wife?!

Kyuu: Forgive me for being direct, Father--

Koshi: BE QUIET! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO NOT CALL ME FATHER!

Koshi: CALL ME PAPA! OR DADDY!

Koshi: Kyuubei, we Yagyuu have always served under the generals of this country. I've told you many times that because of that, you need to be careful in everything you do. Also, we need to make sure to pass down the Yagyuu's pure bloodline. See I have a Persian cat here??? I don't like them, but they are pure D: (...btw, Koshi = midget, so ...this is all...kind of hilarious XD)

Koshi: Otae-chan really is cute, but she's just a country dojo master's daughter. She's not fit to be married into the Yagyuu family. Do you want us to go extinct?! Do you---

Koshi: Ah, Papa-sama, you're back (refering to Koshi's father, aka Kyuu's GRANDfather. Also a midget. A short little old man XDDDDD)

Koshi: PAPA-SAMA?!?!??!? What are you doing with all that junk! I told you not to go collect those things! ((Kyuu's grandfather is carrying a truck load of ....trash and junk XDDDDDDD))

Grandpapa: But this is kind of a sad waste if all of these get thrown out.

Koshi: IT'S NOT A QUESTION OF WASTE! WE'RE THE YAGYUU FAMILY! WE CAN'T DO THAT!!!

Grandpapa: It's okay. We'll keep these here. They'll be useful. Eventually.

Koshi: I don't think they'll ever be useful -____-;;;;;;;;

Grandpapa: See? You're always complaining about that one rag that always falls off the sink, right? Use this suction cup thing.

Koshi: THAT'S TOO BIG!!!

Grandpapa: And look at THIS! Didn't grandmother say something about wanting a scarf?

Koshi: WHAT KIND OF DEAD THING IS THAT?!

Kyuu: ....*leaves*

Koshi: Ah, Kyuubei! Don't leave! I wasn't done talking---

Kyuu: Father. If you don't believe me, and what I've been doing these past three years, fight me, then you'll see what I mean. People can change for the better, if they really want to protect something. I couldn't protect someone, and that's why I went on that trip, Compared to you, Father, who protects something formless and useless like a family's glory....I think I would have the advantage.

Koshi: ....Papa (referring to himself, not the grandfather. GOD, too many papas XD) wasn't talking about that. I was talking about how you should---

Kyuu: Father, just protect what Grandfather holds dear, and that's fine. I need to protect the people I care about. I swore to my left eye (Yagyuu wears an eyepatch over the left eye, in case you didn't know XD;)

Koshi: that's NOT what I meant! I was saying ---

Guards: KOSHINORI-SAMA!!!

(scene shifts to Gintoki, Hijikata, Okita, Kagura, Shinpachi annnd Kondo fighting all the supporters of the Yagyuu dojo. And doing very well)

Supporters of Yagyuu: UWAHHHH!! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! TOO STRONG! TOO STRONG!!!

Gintoki: SHINPACHI! I'm going to deduct this from your paycheck! Running off and doing your own things?! TSK.

Kagura: YEAH! I can't believe you ran off and was doing something THIS fun!! You should've said something!

Kondo: YOU GUYS! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW SHINPACHI IS FEELING, AND YOU DARE TO SAY THAT?! Don't you know that Shinpachi didn't want to drag you into this?!

Gintoki: SHUT UP, GORILLA! I BET THIS WAS ALL YOUR IDEA!!!

Kondo: WE CAME HERE BECAUSE WE BELIEVED IN OURSELVES! WE KNEW THAT OTAE-SAN CAME HERE OUT OF HER OWN FREE WILL TOO. BUT! ALTHOUGH I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY OR HOW, BUT NEITHER OF US CAN AGREE TO SEE OFF OTAE-SAN CRYING LIKE THAT! Maybe she doesn't want to do this! Maybe she doesn't want other people to worry! SO WE'RE HERE! AND WE WANT TO SEE OTAE-SAN! >O!

Kondo: This kind of fight has nothing to do with justice or whatever! So we would never drag you guys in! ....*at Okita and Hijikata* SO WHY ARE YOU TWO HERE?!?!?!?

Hijikata: Kondo-san. Don't worry. I came here out of my own free will too. I owe Yagyuu something, so I'm only here to pay them back double. Besides, today's my day off.

Okita: Kondo-san, I'm also here out of my own free will. If we let this continue, we'll have to call a gorilla our nee-san. So I decided to slack off and come here.

Kondo: YOU REALLY ARE SELF-INTERESTED!

Okita: D:? Eh? But Kondo-san is also here slacking off---

Kondo: I CALLED IN MANY SICK DAYS FOR THIS!

Shinpachi: ...Gin-san. If you want to say that I love my sister too much, that's fine. I do love my sister very much. I don't want to leave her side. But...

Shinpachi: If she's going to leave with a man she truly loves. Whether that man is someone who's lazy and always late with paying rent, or a guy who looks like a gorilla and is a stalker, or a crazy mayo lov er, or a sadistic freak, or a madao, or a guy with hemorrhoids, as long as Aneue is happy, that's okay. I already know that. I'm prepared to cook red bean with rice for the rest of of my life. I don't care if I'll end up being a wuss who's crying about it, but still.

Shinpachi: T___T If I have to see my sister cry like that, I can't just do nothing T________T I just want to see her always smiling. I guess that's siblings for you.

Kagura: *walks by* Gin-chan, if anego really likes that midget, then aren't we being the bad guys?

Gintoki: Eh. We're used to doing that. And screwing things up.

Gintoki: Just remember though, Shinpachi. We're not here for justice or whatever. We're not here for your sister. We're your friends.

Hijikata: Let's get one thing straight. I'm not your friend. I just happen to be here.

Okita: Isn't that nice? He's pretending to be like that, so he can be your friend :O You should be careful of him :|

Kondo: *hand on Shinpachi's shoulder* Even though we're not really "friend" friends, but maybe with the 6 of us, we can take down the Yagyuu dojo. Right, brother?

Shinpachi: .....Who you calling brother?

(scene shifts to inside the Yagyuu family/dojo/compound, where a couple of guys are eating lunch. They are: kita oojiitsuki (kita), minami tosui (minami), nishi notsukamu (nishi), and toujyou ayumu (ayu) )

Minami : Did you hear? The head (referring to Kyuu) brought back a girl. She's there at grandmother's right now for special bridal training.

Minami: I've already had to comfort so many of the maids that got traumatized by that old wench. Oh, Kita, don't you think you're adding too much ketchup?

Kita: Didn't you know? Ketchup goes with everything.

Minami: I think it's disgusting. Quit adding so much of that stuff.

Kita: I think you're disgusting. You look like male genitals (.....I'm sadly not kidding about that translation =_=;;;;)

Minami: WHAT?!

Nishi: Stop it, you guys. You're being immature.

Minami: I DON'T WANT TO GET CRITICIZED BY SOME GUY WHO'S STILL EATING KIDS MEAL!

Nishi: SHUT UP, PENIS! YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A PENIS!

Minami: AHHHH!??!? WHICH PART, HUH!? WHICH PART?!?!?!?

Ayu: Be quiet, all of you. We're suppose to be eating. Why are we so hot-headed? But in any case, I'm glad the head has finally decided to marry. These three years have been good for you. We should let him choose whatever he wants to do, and we'll just follow and support him the best we can. Perhaps that's not exactly fair to the girl, but..... *he's currently cracking an egg over a pile of rice*

*egg yolk does NOT stay still, of course*

*complete silence*

Nishi: ...Yeah. I guess that's that girl's destiny.

Ayu: .... ....DAMN IT I'M PISSED OFF!!!!!!!

Nishi: Toujyou-san!?!??!

Ayu: THE YOLK!! THE YOLK!! I THOUGHT I SAID I WANTED FRESH EGGS!! THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO THE SUPERMARKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Minami: Please calm down, Toujyou-san! It's just food!

Ayu: WHO CARES WHAT YOU THINK, YOU, WHOSE ENTIRE BODY LOOKS LIKE A PENIS!!! >O!

Minami: WHAT?! Now my whole BODY is one?!?!?!?

Kagura: *gets hit with the bowl of rice with raw egg yolk D:* ...... :x

Okita: Hey, eggs are falling off of you. What, is it that time of the month?

Kagura: *grabs Okita and throws him across the room*

Hijikata: Yep. That was definitely Sougo at fault.

Okita: Ow! What's wrong with you------ *Nishi, Ayu, Kita and Minami all their swords pointing at Okita*

Okita: :O

Ayu: Ah, so you guys finally showed up. You think with the 6 of you, you can beat us? My, my. Such audacity.

Ayu: But enough games. Afterall, we are the ones charged specifically with protecting the Yagyuu family....

Kita: I'm Kita Oojitsuki

Minami: Minami Tosui.

Nishi: Nishi Notsukamu.

Ayu: And I'm Toujyou Ayumu. Since you've dared to challenge the Yagyuu top 4, don't expect to leave here alive.

Gintoki: Huh? We're not here to fight you guys. Where's your head?

Minami: You guys are just filthy trash. You can't just go in and see the head. You don't even have the right to challenge us. Throw away your weapons *grabs Okita and holding sword to Sougo's throat* Or he'll---

Shinpachi, Kagura, Gintoki, Hijikata, Kondo: *ALL THROW THEIR SWORDS RIGHT AT OKITA AND MINAMI LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE XD*

Minami, Ayu, Kita, Nishi: OI!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!?!? *all dodging and running in different directions XD*

Gintoki: You told us to throw it away.

Minami: WHAT KIND OF "THROWING IT AWAY" WAS THAT??!!??! DON'T YOU SEE THE HOSTAGE!?!?!?

Hijikata: Sorry, but that guy (referring to Okita) isn't worth it, even as a hostage. Just kill him.

Kagura: AHAHAHAHHAHAA

Okita: BOTH OF YOU------!!!!!

Kita: Toujyou-san, let me get rid of them--

Kyuu: Stop it, all of you.

Kyuu: They are friends of my wife. Don't be so rude.

Kyuu: You guys are here. I can't believe you're this stubborn, Shinpachi.

Shinpachi: ...I'm not here as a younger brother. I'm here as the head master of the dojo. Shimura Tae is an important disciple, and so, if you're going to take her away from us, you should've came and "negotiated" with me.

Kyuu: ...Negotiate?

Kondo: You know kendo, and you know exactly what we're talking about. Samurais don't talk it over. We settle things with our swords.

Okita: Yep! You die and live by the sword! And so--

Hijikata: Even if it's a woman, you fight it out with your swords.

Kagura: COME ON AND FIGHT >O!

Kyuu: Fight? Hehe. My Yagyuu technique versus your country run-down dojo's style? Please. We already know who'd win that.

Gintoki: OF COURSE WE HAVE TO FIGHT~ Even though here in OUR dojo, we all hate each other, and want the next guy dead, and we don't know each other very well, but about fights, we are VERY knowledgeable.

Chapter 113

(scene shifts to the grandmother, currently with Otae-san, teaching her how to cook and be a proper wife and all that. But of course, we all know Otae-san can only make those...egg...like.....things.... )

Grandmother: ....Tae-san, what exactly is this?

Otae: Fried eggs ^_^

Grandmother: ........

Otae: I've always been really talented with eggs! I think I've reached the limit, I don't think I can improve any further. But I've tried to listen to your suggestions, and wowwww, I can't believe I've invented such a thing! It's wonderful! My signature dishes have increased, but I'm still not very good with fish. I think we need more fire. Teach me more, Grandmother!

Grandmother: ARE YOU TRYING TO SET MY KITCHEN ON FIRE?!??!!??!????!?!?

Otae: Ah, well-said. Every kitchen holds a fiery place in a young wife's heart.

Grandmother: THIS IS BURNT! COMPLETELY BURNT!! IT'S A CORPSE! WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, THE UNDERWORLD?!

Grandmother: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!?!? YOU CAN'T COOK ONE DECENT DISH, SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING MARRIED INTO THE YAGYUU FAMILY *tries to attack Otae with a fan*

Otae: *stops it with a pair of chopsticks* You're here to teach me how to be a proper wife, but here you are, yelling and screaming at me, and even trying to attack me. That's not very nice ^_^

Grandmother: *thinking* OH GOD. THIS GIRL!!! SHE'S...SHE'S COMPLETELY IMMUNE TO ALL OF MY TACTICS!!!! SCARY! SCARY!! IF SHE'S MARRIED INTO THE YAGYUU FAMILY---!!!!!!!!

Grandmother: *thinking about how Koshi basically told her to scare off Otae during the bridal training XD* Koshinori-sama, I don't think this is going to work. We're going to have to do something more drastic.

Grandmother: Forget it. I've had it. Clean up this mess, but you can't throw anything away. You need to finish eating all of these so-called dishes. Perfect dogfood for a bitch like you.

Grandpapa: (recap: Kyuu's midget grandfather XD) *eating all the dishes*

Otae: Ah, Grandfather, this is dogfood ^_^

Grandmother: AHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!

Grandpapa: But we can't just throw it away D: It's kind of a waste D:

Grandmother: AS HEAD OF THE ENTIRE FAMILY, YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT! AND YOU CAN'T COME HERE! THIS IS WOMEN ONLY!!!!!

Grandpapa: Don't be so stubborn. It's hard to tell who's male and who's female once you're old. Right, Tae-kun?

Otae: I'm a woman, old man.

(scene shifts to Kyuu with Nishi, Ayu, Kita, Minami, annnd Gintoki + SHinpachi + Kondo + Hijikata + Okita + Kagura. In a courtyard)

Kyuu: Then let me explain the rules.

Kyuu: Since you guys are insisting on this, then we'll use OUR rules. That good?

Gintoki: Fine. Whatever.

Kyuu: These here are plates (note: these plates are all small saucers). Please tie them anywhere you want on your persons.

Kyuu: 6-on-6 battle. You may use the entire Yagyuu family compound. As long as you're within the confines of this estate, that's fine. Whichever team gets the opposite team leader's head, wins.

Kyuu: And by head, I mean plate. If your plate gets broken, you are out of the battle. And it doesn't matter how many plates you've broken on your team. As long as your team leader's plate remains unbroken, you can still fight. That's the only rule. You may fight however you like.

Hijikata: So basically, it doesn't matter if a bunch of people are all fighting one guy, or everyone's running away from a fight .This is no different from a street brawl. LIsten up! If this was a proper duel between dojos, you guys would have the advantage, but when it comes to simply an all-out brawl, we are not going to lose.

Kyuu: This is our Yagyuu style's annual practice match. It not only helps with morale, it also provides for good practice. I'm going to show you guys that a dojo's fighting style is not as easy and dumb as you might think. I'll break all of you and your naive notion that you, with your "real" experience, can somehow beat us.

Gintoki: *TWITCH* Whatever. WE'RE NOT GOING TO LOSE IN A FIGHT.

Kondo: HEY WAIT A MINUTE, YOU SAID 6-ON-6. YOU GUYS ONLY HAVE FIVE!! LIARS!

Kagura: YEAH! CONDESCENDING!! I KNOW HOW TO COUNT, YOU LIARS!!

Kagura: ...Hey wait a minute, they only have 5. Isn't that good for us? What do we do?!

Kondo: ....Do we er, ....pretend that...we...didn't....realize that?

Kondo: I SAID NOTHING!!!!

Kyuu: Let me just warn you guys. Our team's leader isn't here. He's already hiding somewhere, waiting for you guys.

Gintoki: Then who is your---???

Ayu: We are under no obligation to tell you. You should be careful, if anything. Besides, we 5 alone will take care of all of you, so there's no need to tell who our team leader is anyway.

Gintoki/Kondo/Kagura: WHAT?!?!??!?!?!?

Kyuu: The fight starts in 20 minutes. Be sure to prepare well.

Kondo: SHUT UP! GIVE ME 10 MINUTES!

Kagura: WHO CARES! LET'S JUST KILL THEM!

(scene shifts over to Shinpachi-Kondo-and-co. team. Currently trying to come up with a strategy)

Kondo: THIS PISSES ME OFF!!!!!! *KICKS ATREE* I'M NOT HANDING OTAE-SAN OVER TO THAT ASSHOLE!

Hijikata: Er, she never was yours to begin with.

Kondo: I REALLY AM PISSED OFF!!!! LET'S JUST THROW OUR TEAM LEADER TO THE FRONT LINES!! *points at Shinpachi*

Kondo: LET'S JUST DO THAT! YEAH! EVEN IF WE DIE, IT'S OKAY!

Shinpachi: HOW IS THAT OK!?!??!? THAT'S MORE LIKE KO!!!!! Wait, then I'm the team's leader?!

Hijikata: Obviously. We're here supposedly as YOUR disciples, so there you go.

Shinpachi: But still, shouldn't we find someone who's er, stronger?

Kondo: DON'T WORRY, I'LL PROTECT YOU! BESIDES, WE HAVE LOTS TO TALK ABOUT! LIKE, SHOULD I STAY OVER AT YOUR HOUSE, OR SHOULD YOU GUYS STAY AT MY HOUSE OR---

Shinpachi: SORRY BUT PLEASE LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE ACK.

Okita: All of you be quiet. Where do you plan on tying your plates? Our standing in the game and the fight depends on it. And since Hijikata-san doesn't plan on losing, I'm going to tie his over his eye for him. (Okita basically tied the plate like an eyepatch on Hijikata XD)

Hijikata: Do you WANT me to lose an eye?

Gintoki: Don't worry about the plate so much. If it's going to break, then it's going to break. Just tie it wherever.

Gintoki: Yosh. I'm going to tie mine over here. *Ties it over Hijikata's OTHER eye XDDDD*

Hijikata: WHY ARE YOU TYING YOURS ON ME?!?!??!?!?!? THAT'S YOUR PLATE, BASTARD!

Gintoki: There! Now your character design is as dashing as Kyuubei's!

Okita: Hijikata-san, you can do it!

Hijikata: BOTH OF YOU SADISTIC BASTARDS SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Kagura: Gin-chan! I've got a great idea! I'm going to tie mine under my feet, so that way, nobody would see it, because I'm walking! See? *lifts feet up....sets it down.....the plate, obviously, breaks XD*

Kagura: .....

Kagura: Oh no ;__; My feet hurt. What'd I step on?

Gintoki: ARE YOU JOKING?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE HELL!? THE FIGHT HASN'T EVEN STARTED AND WE'RE ALREADY ONE MAN SHORT!

Kondo: WHAT DO WE DO, WHAT DO WE DO?!??!?!

Shinpachi: The fight hasn't started yet, so we can get another plate, right?

Gintoki: *at Kagura* Go get another plate, you! >O!

Hijikata: Wait.

Hijikata: We don't know what the enemy's doing. If we go off by ourselves, it could get bad. Here. Kondo-san, you're responsible for our team leader, Shinpachi, the rest four of us will divide up into groups of two and head off in different directions to see where the enemies are.

Kagura: Then I'll go with Gin-chan. I don't want to be with corrupt cops D:

Hijikata: I don't want to be with any of you. Let's go then, Sougo----

Shinpachi: Hijikata-san -__-;;; Those two sadistic freaks have already left (referring to Okita and Gintoki already going off in different directions XD)

Hijikata: .............

(scene shifts over to Hijikata with Kagura XD They're at the kitchen area)

Hijikata: Sorry to trouble you, but think you can lend us a plate?

Kitchen lady: Ara~ I didn't realize that we had such a good-looking guy and such a cute girl here! *_* Is there some kind of feast going on?

Hijikata: Yeah, sure. *gets a plate!*

Hijikata: Oi. Here you go.

Kagura: ...I don't want it. It's got a bit of soy sauce on it. Please give me another one.

Hijikata: Here. I'll use this dirty plate, and you can have mine, alright?

Kagura: I don't want to. Yours has mayonnaise on it.

Hijikata: NO, IT DOESNT!

Hijikata: DON'T BE SO STUBBORN! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BROKE YOUR PLATE SO---

Kagura: Ah! I want that one! *points at a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE plate XD*

Hijikata: HOW ARE YOU GOING TO FIGHT WHEN YOU'RE TIED DOWN WITH A GIANT PLATE LIKE THAT?!

Kitchen lady: I'm sorry, but this is a very valuable plate from another planet, so I don't think I can lend it to you....

Hijikata: See?

Kagura: I don't care! D: Get me that one, or I'll break your plate too, Mayo-lover!

Hijikata: Why you little bitch----

(the smoke signal for the start of the fight is lit!)

Hijikata: Oi, we don't have time to waste now---

Kagura: I guess I'll just use your plate then :| (she's tied Hijikata's and the soy-sauce plates over her breasts XDDDDDDD)

Hijikata: !!! HEY! Hold on! That's MY plate you've got there!! (and Nishi shows up. More like...just...kind of...looms. He's a biiiiiiiiig guy XD)

Nishi: Ah, first one. *attacks*

Kagura: !!

(scene shifts to Grandpapa and Otae-san)

Grandpapa: Ah, that's it. More. Deeper. DEEEEEPPPPPER.

Otae: Please don't sexually harass me ^_^ (she's cleaning out his ear wax for him XD)

Grandpapa: We're all men here~

Otae: ...I said I am a WOMAN, stupid old guy! Say that again, and I'll break you!

Grandpapa: Oh, so you're a woman :O Then what is Kyuubei? :O

Otae: SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW YOUR OWN GRANDCHILD'S GENDER?!

Grandpapa: When you're old, it's okay to not remember. But I say, Tae-kun...

Otae: Tae-chan.

Grandpapa: I can't believe the little girl who used to play with our Kyuubei is now getting married into our family...Ahhhh deeper. Deeppppppeerrr.

Otae: If I go too deep, I might end up cleaning out something important!

Grandpapa: I think you've been through a lot. You doing okay?

Otae: Of course! I'm not going to give up. How else would I be your daughter-in law? (more like granddaughter in-law XD)

Grandpapa: Really? You are always smiling, Tae-kun. It's hard to tell what you're really thinking.

Grandpapa: maybe you don't really want to get married. Or do you like someone else?

Grandpapa: Just say it~ Are you hiding something---

Otae: NOTHING!

Grandpapa: Is that so? ...I've always thought that you would still hang onto what happened then....

Otae: ...

Grandpapa: In any case, both of you have my support. *leaves!*

Otae: ? Where are you going?

Grandpapa: *ties something to his head -- a plate! Yep, he's the Yagyuu team's leader :O* Seems like there's trouble.

Grandpapa: I'm going over to take a look.

(scene shifts to the kitchen where currently, Nish, Minami, AND Kita are all fighting Kagura D:)

Kagura: OOF!

Nishi: Tch. I didn't get the plate. But---

Kita: *attacks from under water!* Don't think you can run from us.

Minami: *yet another attack on Kagura* Gotcha~

Okita: Oi. The person who's allowed to beat up that girl, is me. *BEATS MINAMI OVER THE HEAD XD*

Minami: OOF OWWW.

Nishi: Mina---!!!!! *BOOM!* (the kitchen behind Nishi went....well, BOOM)

Kagura: ow ow ow....

Okita: Hijikata-san, what's up with that big plate of yours? (Hijikata doesn't have a plate, since Kagura has his, so he ties that biiiiiiiig and expensive one on himself XDDDDDD )

Hijikata: Let's just call this my one and only concession in this fight.

Chapters 114-116 here

More Gintama translations

melts — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 03:45:49 GMT

The last chapter of the Okita-Hijikata-Mitsuba backstory arc. Chapter 132, to be precise :O

Chapters 129-131 here.

Chapter 132

(scene starts with Hijikata by the docks, and he's basically fighting still completely by himself :x He's holding up, but bareeeelllly. He got shot in his right knee. He then falls, and is surrounded by a group of people with swords :x)

Hijikata: *INSERT BATTLE CRY HERE THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE TRANSLATING BECAUSE THE TRANSLATION SOUNDS WEIRD XD;;; ...but it's basically like a scream. OHHHHHHHHH. ...Yeah.*

Random guy: What's going on, Kuraba-dono? I thought you said we had these dogs of the Bakufu under control. Who is that man?

Kura: That's Shinsengumi's Demon Vice-Commander Hijikata Toushirou. Once you've been targeted by him, it would be troublesome and he's not easy to shake off.

Kura: ...But no. There should've been back-up arriving by now. (referring to Shinsengumi)

Random guy: Then, why's he fighting by himself?

Kura(? one of the bad guys): If that's the case....

Kura: Just make sure he (referring to Hijikata) disappears.

(scene shifts to Mitsuba in the hospital)

Doctor: Her pulse is down, blood pressure is low....This is really bad.

Doctor: This is all we can do now.

(scene shifts yet again to Gintoki and Okita on the scooter, racing toward the docks)

Okita voice over: Aneue. I'm sorry. But I, I...

(scene shifts yet again. This time we see the Shinsengumi racing also toward the docks)

Kondo: GET OUT OF THE WAY! SHINSENGUMI!

Kondo: *thinking* Toushi, you bastard. Who in Shinsengumi would ever want Sougo to leave? We're all friends, aren't wee? Why do you always insist taking on every responsibility by yourself? Even when you know perfectly well you'd be the bad guy here.

Kondo: *still thinking* I understand, Toushi. That for Mitsuba's sake, you---

(scene shifts to Hijikata at the docks, currently limping and bleeding)

Hijikata: Tch. *surrounded by all of Kura's underlings*

Kura: What a pity. You know, Mitsuba will be really sad at losing an old friend.

Kura: I wanted to be on good terms with all of you, you know. If the Shinsengumi were to back us up, our business would be even more properous. And so, with that in mind, I asked around about Mitsuba, since after all, if we control her, Sougo would be easy to control, too. But who knew she'd be so sickly? And dying too. It's a pity.

Hijikata: So. You used her for that end.

Kura: Oh no. Of course I love her.

Kura: She would make my business prosperous. Every businessman would love that.

Kura: She's a pawn. A tool. But she's also damaged goods. So this is good enough for her. If anything, she should be thankful.

Hijikata: *thinks about Okita earlier saying how, he'd like his sister to feel at least a bit of happiness before she dies* Heh. I really don't have any right to criticize you. I've done countless cruel things. And here I am, about to kill her husband.

Kura: Very well said. No wonder they call you the Demon Vice-commander.

Hijikata: No, that's not exactly true. I just...

Hijikata: I just want for the woman that I love to be happy.

Hijikata: For a man like me, who lives by the sword, it's not possible for me to give her that. So I wanted her to move on with someone normal, and live out a normal and peaceful life.

Hijikata: That's all.

Kura: Is that so? It's no wonder that us regular people can never understand what you samurai are thinking.

Shinsengumi: ATTACK!!!! *and they rush in, lead by Kondo*

Kondo: LET'S GO!

Kura's underlings: SHINSENGUMI!!!!!

Kondo: TOUSHI!

Hijikata: *gets shot at from various directions* Oof--

Hijikata: *tries to dodge, but one of the bullets hit a gasoline barrel? And it explodes right next to Hijikata*

Kondo: TOUSHI!!!!!

(scene shifts to Kura in his car, racing away from the scene. Ah, that bastard)

Kura: Well. That was certainly a mistake. I guess you can't work with monkeys, after all.

Kura: Hurry up. We need to go to the hospital. Even though she's dying, she'll make for a good hostage.

Kura: ....!!!!!

Hijikata: *is on the roof of the car and stabs through said roof annnd impales Kura through the shoulder* YOU BASTARD!

Kura: WHAT ARE THE REST OF YOU GUYS DOING?!?!?! SHOOT HIM!

Random guy: *TRIES TO SHOOT! But is hit by Gintoki's wooden sword!*

Hijikata: ...!! YOU!

Gintoki: Don't worry. I'm only here to get the senbei crackers for her. *throws a pack at Hijikata*

Gintoki: Give them to her (referring to the crackers).

Gintoki: She'll be happy, I'm sure.

(annnnd we see Okita standing a little ways ahead of the car/gintoki/hijikata, with sword out and looking quite scary :O)

Hijikata: *jumps down from the car and stabs through the tires, along with Gintoki, to try to slow the car down for Okita*

Okita, remembering what his sister told him and Kondo and Hijikata, right before they leave for Edo, presumably: Don't get in trouble now, all of you. Remember to always follow what you believe, alright?

(annnnd Okita slashes through the car :O aha it got sliced in half XD .....and explodes)

(scene shifts over to the hospital; the Shinsengumi are all gathered there)

Okita: Aneue, I'm sorry. I'm not a good younger brother. In the end, I ended up taking away your chance at happiness. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Mitsuba: Sou-chan, don't worry about it. You've worked so hard. You're really strong.

Okita: I'm--I'm not strong at all. I'm--I'm...

Mitsuba: You've always stand by what you've chosen, and for that, I'm thankful. Hey, don't cry, now.

Mitsuba: When you guys were leaving, and I saw all of you off...I liked how I was able to see all of you. I really like all of you (it could be translated to love? depending on the context, so whichever you prefer). All of you are truly good people.

Mitsuba: And that's why, I'm glad--I'm blessed, and I'm proud to have you as my younger brother. You make me proud, Sou-chan... (....and her hand drops and....yeah)

Sougo: .....*is crying*

(scene shifts to Hijikata and Gintoki outside on a balcony. Hijikata's eating those spicy senbei crackers)

Hijikata: These really are spicy.

Hijikata: Too spicy. Shit, it's spicy enough to make me cry.

Hijikata: Too spicy.

Gintoki: ....*looks down at the cracker* ...Yeah. Too spicy.

Okita-Hijikata-Kondo backstory arc translation

melts — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 07:57:04 GMT

Gintama translation from chapters 129 to 131. Basically goes over Okita's background, why he hates Hijikata, annnd introduces Okita's older sister Mitsuba. I'll do chapter 132 (last one of the arc) tomorrow XD;

Chapter 129

Hijikata: *walking in the middle of the night* *turns around* ....You're...YOU'RE!!!

Okita (dressed as a ninja): Hijikata corpse number 4016.

Ninja!Okita: *slashes another Hijikata figure* Hijikata-you-idiot number 4017; Hijikata-you-bastard 4018...

Hijikata: *standing over a sleeping Okita and LOOKING PISSED XD* I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO COUNT SHEEP! SHEEEEEP!!!!!!

Okita: Oh, sorry. Is it morning already? I couldn't sleep at all, dammit.

Hijikata: OF COURSE YOU CAN'T SLEEP IF YOU COUNT WEIRD STUFF LIKE THAT!

Okita: Ah, good morning then, number 4018.

Hijikata: WHO YOU CALLING 4018!??!?!?!?!?!

Hijikata: In any case, go wash your face. You've got a visitor.

(scene shifts to Kondo with a refined looking lady :O That's Mitsuba, aka Okita's older sister)

Kondo: Ah, congratulations! All of Shinsengumi will be sure to stop by!

Mitsuba: To be honest, I had given up getting married. I'm really quite thankful, really.

Kondo: Haha, you haven't changed a bit, Mitsuba-san! Still the same graceful and beautiful lady! Sougo talks about you a lot! He says he's very proud and happy to have you as an older sister.

Random members of Shinsengumi peeking on the two: OOOOOOH. WHO'S THE PRETTY LADY!?!?

Random Shinsengumi B: Did she just say she's getting married?!

Random Shinsengumi C: WHAT?! THE COMMANDER ALREADY HAS OTAE-SAN AND HE STILL WANTS---!!!!!

D: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING.

Yamazaki: Didn't you guys know? That's Okita's older sister! She's the one who always sends the super spicy senbei snacks every month!

Random person: OH GOD THAT. THOSE THINGS ARE NOT EDIBLE!

Random person: ...But wait. She looks so...graceful and refined! How can she be related to Okita Sougo!?

Yamazaki: Didn't you know? Every family has crazy and normal people. It creates a kind of balance and---BOOM

Mitsuba: Ah, you guys are still so...lively.

Kondo: Oh, Sougo! There you are!

Okita: Sorry. Let me just go take care of this guy (he's grabbing Yamazaki by the collar and trying to stab him XD;)

Mitsuba: Still so rough with your friends, Sougo. That's not good, you know.

Okita: .... I'M SORRY!!! (aha, complete with bowing and everything D:)

Yamazaki: WHAT IS THIS -____-;;;;;;

Kondo: HAHAHAHHHAHAHA! You'd still listen to your own older sister, eh?

Okita: Long time no see, Aneue (Japanese address to one's older sister; very respectful, so I'm keeping it here :x). How was your trip to Edo? It must've been tiring.

Yamazaki: ...who IS this guy?

Kondo: Now now. Let's not interrupt them! Oh yeah, Sougo. You get today off. Go take care of your sister.

Okita: Thank you, Commander! Let's go, Aneue! :DDDDDDD

Yamazaki: ...I...I don't understand, commander o______o;;;;;;;;;;;

Kondo: Sougo lost his parents when he was very young, and his sister took care of him. So she's like his mother. Just let him be for today. A man needs someone like that. Someone that'll let them let down their guard for a bit, and just relax and enjoy life as it is.

Yamazaki: ....I'll pretend I didn't see Okita-san today then.

(scene shifts to Okita and Mitsuba in a cafe)

Okita: Ah, so you're getting married? You're here to visit your fiance's family, too, then?

Mitsuba: Yep! I'll be staying in Edo for quite some time, so we'll see each other often!

Okita: Really? That's great!

Mitsuba: It makes me happy too.

Okita: When you move here to Edo after you get married, that means we can see each other all the time!

Mitsuba: Yep!

Okita: That....THAT MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY!

Yamazaki and Random Shinsengumi B (spying, mind you XD): OMG AHHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS TOO FUNNY OMG LOOK AT OKITA SAYING ALL THIS STUFF XDDDDDDDDDDD

Okita:.....But I'm quite worried. Edo's got really bad pollution.

Okita: *points in random direction* Just look at that!

Mitsuba: *turns* Eh? Where, Sougo?

Okita: *GIANT BAZOOKA AT YAMAZAKI AND RANDOM SHINSENGUMI B :X*

Mitsuba: Ah, what's that smell?

Okita: See, I told you the pollution's bad. I hope you're still okay?

Mitsuba: Don't worry about me. The money you send every month is more than enough, so I'll get better, I'm sure. How are you, though, Sougo? Have you been eating?

Okita: Of course of course!

Mitsuba: Get enough sleep?

Okita: VERY BUSY! I don't even have time to properly count sheep.

Mitsuba: Getting along with everybody?

Okita: I don't like a few people, but that's okay.

Mitsuba: Do you have friends? Or just anyone you can talk to when something's bothering you? You've always been surrounded by people older than you, so....

(....annnnnnd Gintoki is dragged over XD)

Okita: Ah, this is my very good friend Sakata Gin---*FACE SMASHED TO THE TABLE*

Gintoki: Why me?

Gintoki: Oiiiiii~ Since when are we friends?!

Okita: Friends come about when you least expect it, you see---

Gintoki: annnnnd friends leave when you least expect it too *gets up to leave*

Okita: Ah, waitress! Please give me 3 chocolate sundaes!

(...annnnd Gintoki sits back down with Okita and Mitsuba XD)

Gintoki: ...My friend? He's more like a brother. No, closer than a brother. Right, Souichirou?

Okita: My name is Sougo.

Gintoki: I've always liked how you pay so much attention to detail, Souichirou.

Okita: My name is Sougo.

Mitsuba: Eh? I see you're still hanging around those who are older than you....

Okita: Don't worry! His mind is stuck permanently at the summer vacation right before the start of the second year of middle school.

Gintoki: WHAT?! That's the worst period to be stuck in! It's even worse than middle school biology. Isn't that right, Souguro (or some other WRONG name but I don't know how to translate it orz)

Okita: ...My name is Sougo.

Okita: *aside to Gintoki* Sorry to trouble you, but my sister's health isn't in the best condition. So please let her think you're a trustworthy friend, please? I don't want her to worry.

Mitsuba: *CURRENTLY EMPTYING A BOTTLE OF TOBASCO SAUCE ONTO HER CHOCOLATE SUNDAE XDDDD*

Gintoki: Eh? ...What....what are you doing?!

Okita: ANEUE!?!??!!? THAT'S TOBASCO SAUCE!

Mitsuba: As a thank you for taking care of Sougo, I'll teach you a new way of eating this! Do you like spicy foods?

Gintoki: er, I don't mind it if things are spicy or not....but um...I don't think that's suppose to be spicy!??!?!?!?!?!?

Mitsuba: Aww, you don't like spicy foods after all? And here I was thinking of doing this as a thank you for Sougo's friend...

Gintoki: *thinks* I DON'T THINK IT'S A QUESTION OF FRIEND OR NOT?????

Okita: DDD: Please?? You like spicy foods, right????

Gintoki: *thinks* okay. This needs to be handled delicately.... *at Mitsuba* Um, yeah, haha, I'm sure I'll like spicy foods! Um, yeah, that's it.

Mitsuba: I knew it! Spicy foods are my favorite. When I'm not feeling well, I always eat something spicy. It really helps with the appetite.

Gintoki: But you see, I've already had TWO chocolate sundaes and all....

Mitsuba: *COUGH COUGH*

Gintoki: ........J--JUST GET ME WATER PLEASE. *gets ready to eat....this...spicy....thing XD*

Mitsuba: *COUUUUGHHHHH ANNNND SPURTS OUT TOBASCO SAUCE (or is it blood? orz) FROM HER MOUTH XD*

Gintoki: *DOWNS THE SPICY SUNDAE* .........OOHHHHHHHHH.......GUUUUUHH......OHHHHHHH O______________O

Gintoki: *....AND STEAM COMES OUT FROM HIS MOUTH XD*

Okita: ANEUE! Are you okay!?!?

Mitsuba: ^_^; Don't worry about me. I just spat out the tobasco sauce, that's all. I'm fine!

Gintoki: *CURRENTLY IN PAIN FROM ALL THE TOBASCO XD*

(scene shifts to Yamazaki and Hijikata, working their late night shift)

Hijikata: *SPITS FOOD OUT XD* GAHHHHH!! UGH. GIVE ME WATER! WATER!!! WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST ATE!?!?!?!?!? WATER!

Yamazaki: Those are the senbei crackers that Mitsuba-san sent over for us!

Hijikata: YOU'RE TRYING TO TRICK ME, AREN'T YOU!?!?!? I KNOW YOU ARE, YAMAZAKIIIIII!!!! ....And why do you have an afro? (Yamazaki, after being hit by Okita's bazooka in the cafe earlier = has an afro for the rest of this arc. It's a running joke)

Yamazaki: Vice-commander, please don't go all crazy on me. If you want, you can go yell at Mitsuba-san.

Hijikata: ...................

Yamazaki: ...Hijikata-san, why won't you go see her?

Yamazaki: The commander already told me how you, Okita-san, and him were friends back at the dojo. So you should just let me do this shift by myself, and you should go see her!

Hijikata: ....No. Right now the terrorists are acting up again. And they've got weapons that are better than ours, even. With the ban in place, this means someone in the government is smuggling these weapons out.

Yamazaki: ..........Vice-commander, did something happen between you and Mitsuba-san? Yeah. Something definitely happened.

Hijikata: Hmm? Um, yeah----WAIT WHAT!?!?!?!? I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT AGAIN, AND I'LL KILL YOU, YAMAZAKI! WHY DO YOU HAVE AN AFRO!??!?!!??

Yamazaki: Did you know that Mitsuba-san is getting married?

Hijikata: I SAID WHY DO YOU HAVE AN AFRO!!!!!!!!

Yamazaki: They're in the shipping business, and quite rich and prominent, I hear! A very good catch, if you ask me.

Hijikata: ....HM. Why would I care about these things? This is pissing me off. Stupid boring job. Stupid afro. I'm getting pissed off just thinking about that afro---

Yamazaki: OMG VICE-COMMANDER!!! O____O!!! *POINTS AT WHATEVER THEY'RE SPYING*

Hijikata: P98AISUDFPAOSDIFUASDPFOI *SPITS OUT FOOD IN SURPRISE*

(scene shifts to Gintoki and Okita seeing Mitsuba off at where she's staying - a really large house :O)

Mitsuba: Thank you, the both of you. I had a really good time today.

Mitsuba: I'll see you later, Sougo. I'll go see you soon later, okay?

Okita: You can stay over at our dorms, aneue!

Mitsuba: No, it's alright. I have to run a few errands anyway, so.

Gintoki: woahhhh, that's a big house.

Mitsuba: And thank you too, Gintoki-san, for showing us around today.

Gintoki: Ah, it's nothing.

Okita: Then, I have to get going, aneue! Good night!

Mitsuba: ...ah, Sougo...Um....

Mitsuba: ....That man.....

Okita: ..........I don't want you to go see him, aneue. He ran off this morning, saying something about work, and that's it. He's a cold-hearted bastard, that's what. *runs off*

Mitsuba: ....Work, hmm? Still haven't changed a bit.

Gintoki: Hey what. He (Okita) dragged me into this, and he ditches me.

Mitsuba: I'm sorry. Sougo's always been like this. It's really all my fault. Ever since our parents died, I've always been worried about him. I didn't want him to be lonely, so I guess I ended up spoiling him too much. ...And so, he's stubborn, doesn't like admitting his own faults, and doesn't have many friends.

Mitsuba: If he didn't meet Kondo-san...I'm scared what might've happened to Sougo then. Even now, I'm still worried about him. Is he still doing alright? Is he in trouble? Does he have friends? Actually...you're not really his friend, are you? He just dragged you into this...

Gintoki:....WELL. He (Okita) is obviously a trouble maker. AND a sadist. Not a single good point about him.

Gintoki: Which is why he needs good friends. ...if he were my friend, he would not be such a worthless kid! (ohhhhh, Gintoki XD)

Mitsuba: ...*SMILES* You're a strange one. But....I can see why the two of you might get along. In fact....you're a lot like him (referring to mystery him and the aforementioned cold hearted bastard /o/).

Gintoki: Hmm?

Hijikata: OI! What the hell are you two doing here? It's late and---*steps out of the car annnnnd sees Mitsuba*

Hijikata: ..........

Mitsuba: ....To--Toushirou?!

Mitsuba: *FAINTS FOR GREAT JUSTICE. NO REALLY.*

Gintoki: OI!! OI!!!! HEY, WHAT'S WRONG?!??!?!

Chapter 130

Doctor(??? Or just random commentator in the house, really): She's finally asleep. Thank goodness she fainted in front of THIS house, or otherwise, who knows...

Yamazaki: Oh yeah :O Why are YOU here anyway? :O *at Gintoki*

Gintoki: ...Really long story.

Gintoki: ...But why do YOU have an afro?

Yamazaki: Long story.

Gintoki: As for THAT one over that (referring to Hijikata), SOMETHING happend between the two of you, right? Come on, she fainted just because she saw YOU, so it must've been something huge.

Hijikata: It's none of your business.

Gintoki: *SNERRK* OH YEAH. SORRY. I forgot I shouldn't interfere with other people's LOOOOVEE TROUBLES~~ *SNERRRRK*

Yamazaki: SSSH!! SSH!! I know he looks scary, but our vice-commander is actually quite sensitive about things like that!!!.... *SNERRRRRRRK along with Gintoki XD*

Hijikata: I ALREADY SAID IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!?!?!? HUH!??!?!?!?!?! *aha ready to kill Gintoki XD;*

Yamazaki: ACK! o_o!! CALM DOWN, VICE-COMMANDER!! THE PATIENT'S RIGHT NEXT DOOR!! NEXT DOOR!!!!

Hijikata: SHUT UP!! WHY DO YOU CARE!?!? AND WHY DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT STUPID AFRO?!

Man: Thank you very much for bring Mitsuba back safely. *BOWS* I'm Tenkaiya Kurabatouma.

Yamazaki: *aside, at Hijikata* That's Mitsuba-san's fiance :O

Hijikata: ......

Kurabatouma (Kura for short): I told her to be careful; I'm sorry, she must've caused a lot of trouble for you.

Kura: Ah, that uniform. You guys are shinsengumi...? Then you must be Mitsuba's brother's friends...

Okita: He's not my friend.

Hijikata: Sougo.

Kura: Ah, there you are, Sougo. Mitsuba-san is currently---

Okita: Eh~? Isn't this Hijikata-san? I didn't think I would see you here! Oh wow. You finally got off your high horse and came to see my sister, huh?

Hijikata:...........

Yamazaki: NO NO!! WE'RE HERE BECAUSE WE CARE---

Hijikata: *PUNCHES YAMAZAKI* Let's go, Yamazaki. Sorry for troubling all of you.

Yamazaki: Are you sure this is okay?!?!?!!?

Hijikata: ........ *annd he pass by Mitsuba's room and the two exchange brief glances at each other D: AWW*

(FLASH BACK)

Mitsuba: Sougo? Sougo, where are you? SHouldn't you be at the dojo practicing now? What's wrong? Why do you look so unhappy?

Young!Okita: ....There's someone annoying there now. I don't like him.

Mitsuba: Ah, the one that recently joined...?

Okita: He hasn't been there as long as I have, but he doesn't respect me at all. And ever since HE showed up, Kondo-san haven't been paying as much attention to me. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE STUPID DOJO.

Mitsuba: ...Sougo....

Young!Hijikata: Okita. It's time for practice.

Young!Okita: ...!!!!! *JUMPS UP AND....TRIES TO TACKLE HIJIKATA, but alas, too short XD* WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?!?? HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE HERE!

Y!Hijikata: Kondo-san told me to come bring you to the dojo. *Grabs him by his hair XD and drags him by the collar XD* Let's go.

Y!Okita: HEY!! HOW DARE YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS!!!! I SAID HEY!!!!!!!!! STUPID BASTARD.

Mitsuba: *smiles*

Y!Hijikata: *looks at Mitsuba for a bit*

Y!Okita: ... *sees his sister smiling at Hijikata*

Okita voice over: I really really didn't like that.

(flash back still, they're at a restaurant)

Kondo: AH! HOLD ON A SEC, MITSUBA-SAN!! YOU SHOULDN'T ADD SO MUCH SPICES TO YOUR RICE!! IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU!

Mitsuba: Eh? D: But it...it tastes good.

Kondo: WHAT?! IT'S ALL RED!! THAT'S NOT RIGHT!! IT WON'T BE GOOD FOR YOU! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU YOUNG PEOPLE THESE DAYS?!?! RIGHT, TOUSHI-----AHHHHH!!!!!!

Kondo: TOUSHI!

Hijikata: *dumping lots of mayo on HIS rice*

Kondo: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!? WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!?!?

Hijikata: It's a revolution in taste.

Kondo: WHAT?!?!?!

Hijikata: MMMM, it tastes good.

Kondo: I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU PEOPLE. I CAN'T WATCH THIS.

Mitsuba: *smiles at Hijikata again*

Okita: ......*SULKS and eats his noodles D:*

Okita voice over: I really really didn't like that.

Okita voice over: Even back then, he was already an annoying and unlikeable bastard.

(AND BACK TO PRESENT in the Shinsengumi training quarters. Hijikata's practicing kendo, and Okita shows up)

Okita: Hijikata-san.

Hijikata: !

OKita: How about you teach me a few moves?

(scene shifts to hospital with Kura and Mitsuba)

Mitsuba: Ah, I'm really sorry. I guess this means we'll have to push the wedding back....

Kura: It's okay! That's just a formality, anyway. Just concentrate on getting better.

Mitsuba: Ah, thank you.

Kura: Now, I'll have to go. Business and all.

Gintoki: *SHOWS UP after Kura leaves! Holding a bag of the really spicy senbei crackers XD*

Mitsuba: Wah, thank you, Gintoki-san!

Gintoki: Of course, of course! The Yoruzuya can do anything! Now now, you shouldn't eat so much spicy stuff. It won't be good if you have hemorrhoids D:

Mitsuba: ...You don't honestly think I fainted because I have hemorrhoids?

Gintoki: And how about some bananas, YOU. *points under the bed*

Yamazaki: It's okay! During all my covert operations, I always bring my own supply of sausage---

Mitsuba: Eh? Yamazaki-san? what are you doing here? o_o

Yamazaki: OH SHIT!!!! I'VE BEEN FOUND! Well, you see, lately there have been---*KICKED BY GINTOKI*

(scene shifts to Hijikata and Okita, sparring)

Hijikata: What the hell do you want?

Okita: I want you to stop ruining my sister's life.

Hijikata: ...Tenkaiya. He's suspected to be the one selling weapons to the terrorists. Not just selling, but also buying from illegal sources, then later selling them at extremely high prices to desperate disbanded samurais. A complete low-life.

Hijikata: Your sister's husband is our enemy.

(scene shifts to Yamazaki telling Gintoki the same thing)

Gintoki: ....Does SHE know?

Yamazaki: Nope. The Vice-commander told me to not tell anyone.

Gintoki: YOU JUST TOLD ME!

Yamazaki: well, you see......er.......

(scene shifts back to Hijikata and Okita)

Okita: Hijikata-san. We'll just arrest all those terrorsts and disbanded samurais. That'll be enough. Every man needs to make a living, you know. So it's not really his fault that he has to sell weapons and all. Besides, you saw how much he likes my sister. He'll make her happy, I'm sure...

Hijikata: ...Do you want me to just let him go?

Okita: Eh? DId I say that?

Hijikata: ....*gets ready to leave* I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Go practice by yourself.

Okita: *tries to hit Hijikata!* I wasn't done talking.

Hijikata: *blocks* Are you crazy? Or just didn't get enough sleep? You can't possibly think your sister would be happy with a bastard like him---

Okita: Time...She doesn't have much time left. She's going to die soon.

Okita: Look, I don't want to fight right now. Her condition's not...so good. She's always been taking care of me, and she's even delayed her own happiness for it. I just...I just want her to be happy like everyone else before she has to go.

Okita: I'm not saying we should just let Tenkaiya go. I'm just saying...just wait a little more.

Okita: Hijikata-san, my sister was hesitant about getting married, precisely because of you...

Hijikata: *AHA COMPLETELY IGNORES OKITA* The deal's tomorrow.

Hijikata: Be sure to sharpen your sword.

Okita voice over: ....I really really didn't like that.

That man. He was always like that. He'll just show up randomly, and then take away everything that I ever cared about.

Okita: HIJIKATAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

(flash back to young Hijikata and Mitsuba)

Mitsuba: Is it true? All of you will be going to Edo to start a new life?

Hijikata: Where'd you hear that?

Mitsuba: Sougo. He sounded really happy about it and---

Hijikata: He's an idiot.

Mitsuba: ....Then....Why don't you take me with you?

Mitsuba: ...I have to look after Sougo anyway, and so...And besides, I want to stay by your side, Toushirou.

Young!Okita: *overhears this while hiding behind a tree and going o_______o*

Hijikata: ....I don't care. I don't care about anything you do.

(back to present, and Okita's lying in a heap on the ground, since aha, got his ass whupped by Hijikata =_=;;;;;)

Okita voice over: ....I really REALLY hate him.

Chapter 131

Mitsuba: Gin-san, what were you talking about with Yamazaki-san?

Gintoki: Oh, nothing~~ Um...um, just see? Nurse stuff! *holds up a ....questionable nurse video XD;* Do you also want to borrow this? ;D

Mitsuba: haha. ...That's always how it is with men. They're always grouped together, and leave no room for us women. They always seem so happy together, and we women are left out. And that's how it is. They left me behind, and they had to move forward.

Gintoki: Ehhhh~ that's kind of mean of them to just leave such a pretty lady behind.

Mitsuba: And that's why, just seeing them makes me feel happy. All I want is to feel just a little bit of happiness.

Gintoki: *remembers about his conversation with Yamazaki, and how Mitsuba's husband/fiance = bad guy*

Mitsuba: *coughs*

Gintoki: hey? Hey, are you okay?? You should rest.

Mitsuba: No, don't be a fool. Of course I'm okay *cough cough* I just want to talk to someone, that's--*COUGHS UP BLOOD*

Gintoki: HEY!!!

Okita and Kondo: *rushing to the hospital*

Doctor: ...She's...not good. It's really bad.

Doctor: Please call for family.

(scene shifts to Yamazaki and Hijikata, waiting by the docks)

Yamazaki: ...Vice-commander, please go.

Yamazaki: At times like this...You should go see her. I know you don't want to go see them out of concern for Captain Okita and Mitsuba-san's feelings, and what with her husband being who he is....but... I still think you're wrong. You should go see her. You shouldn't be here.

Hijikata: Hm. So you take me for a cold-hearted bastard?

Yamazaki: NO! That's not what I--

Hijikata: What kind of husband is he, anyway? She's dying, and he's out HERE trying to make a deal with terrorists.

Yamazaki: ....Hey wait a minute, Hijikata-san---

Hijikata: Remember what we talked about before? Don't tell anyone.

Yamazaki: um, okay, but---

Hijikata: Top secret. *heads toward the docks*

Yamazaki: HIJIKATA-SAN!!!!!!!

(back at the hospital)

Kondo: Go sleep, Sougo. You don't look so well yourself.

Okita: Look who's talking. *points under his eyes* You have bags under your eyes, commander.

Kondo: ...That's make up.

Gintoki: *SNORES ON THE BENCH NEXT TO THEM XD*

Kondo: So! What's this I hear about you losing to Toushi, huh?

Okita: Don't talk about that bastard.

Kondo: Hmmm? You must be tired, Okita. Go get rest.

Okita: I SAID STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!

Okita: It's ALWAYS ALWAYS TOUSHI THIS, TOUSHI THAT. Do you see that bastard here? No. My sister's dying, and he still refuses to see her. He's a cold-hearted bastard, and that's that.

Kondo: ......You must be tired. Go get some rest.

Okita: ...Are you being condescending?

Kondo: GO REST.

Okita: HMPH. I'm not like that Hijikata. I'm not going to rest-----

Kondo: *grabs Okita by the collar*

Yamazaki: *storms in* COMMANDER!!!!!! THIS IS BAD!!!!!! THE VICE-COMMANDER, HE--HE---!!!!!!!

(scene shifts to Hijikata and Kura by the docks)

Hijikata: *SWORD POINTED AT KURA* Tenkaiya Kurabatouma. I'm arresting you for dealing in illegal weapons, supporting the terrorists, and for illegal transporting of goods.

Kura: .....Ah, you're from that time.....

Kura: Haha. You sure you should be doing that? You'll be ruining a friend's happiness. I didn't realize the Shinsengumi could be like this.

Hijikata: ! *sees a sniper pointing a gun at him*

(back at the hospital)

Kondo: WHAT DO YOU MEAN TOUSHI IS DOING THIS BY HIMSELF?!?!?!?!?!?? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS EARLIER?!?!?

Yamazaki: I'm sorry, I'm sorry!! The vice commander told me to not tell you! He said that if it's found out a family member of the Shinsengumi is participating in anti-government activities, then that Shinsengumi member would be kicked out, and so Captain Okita would get kicked out of the Shinsengum and then---

Okita: ...!!! What....

Kondo: THAT IDIOT! WHY DOES HE ALWAYS INSIST ON DOING THINGS BY HIMSELF?! EVEN NOW!

Okita: ...Why.....

Okita: ...Dammit, that bastard...*about to run off, but blocked by Kondo!*

Kondo: Don't move. Don't go over there. Right now, you're useless. All that emotion, you'd just get yourself killed.

Kondo: Put your trust in us. The rest of the Shinsengumi will go.

Okita: I don't want to end up oweing Hijikata.

Okita: I'm not like the rest of you. I can't trust other people. I've always known that about myself, and that's why you and my sister would turn on me anyway, and join up to Hijikata's side---

Kondo: *PUNCHES OKITA ACROSS THE HALL XDDDDDD*

Okita: ow......So strict as always, Kondo-san.

Kondo: Of course. That's because you're still a kid. Hell, even if Toushi was the one who said it, I'd still punch him. It's always been like that. If one of us strayed, the rest of us will punch that one back to where he belongs.

Kondo: This whole "his side" "your side" thing? I can't agree with that. You created that yourself.

Kondo: I don't care. I'll cross over that whole "side" thing. No matter how many times. And I'll keep beating that into you.

Kondo: It's hard to have good friends who'd do that for you. We're very lucky to have each other.

Kondo: So if I ever end up doing something stupid, be sure to do the same for me, Sougo.

(scene shifts back to Hijikata at the docks. He's currently fighting like, what, 100 people by himself? At least 50. Either way, A LOT OF PEOPLE. Crazy bastard =_=;; The whole voice over is dispersed between scense Okita talking to a sleeping Gintoki - the voice over - and scenes of Hijikata fighting the arms dealers' underlings like a mad man )

Okita voice over as we see Hijikata ...continues to fight by himself: Really....I don't want to admit it, but we've always hoped that he'd come back. Even though we're really cold with each other.

Yet even so, when we've finally given up on him coming back to us, and aneue is about to be happy again...it's HIM again who's in the way.

Bastard.

I know too, that my sister can't be happy with him. He knows that better than anyone. And I know too, that because he might die at any moment on the job, he would never want to tie down my sister with that kind of worry.

I know he's doing that because he wants my sister to be happy. And I know he only wants my sister to be happy.

But still. Even though I understand all that.... I hate him.

Okita: *to a supposedly sleeping Gintoki* ...Anyway. Thanks for listening. Please don't tell my sister all this, okay? It's a secret. NOW, since that guy took everything important from me, I might as well go, right? Kondo-san said I might lose my life, but ..then let's just say this was a confession of sorts (here, it's not a literal confession. Just like....right before someone dies, they confess their whole life story, that kind of confession. NOT "omg I did something bad" confession)

Gintoki: *eyes still closed* But you included him in "everything important," didn't you?

Okita: !! You--

Gintoki: AHHHH, that was a good nap. Now come on, a good nap means we need a good fight. Besides, I consider your sister a friend, so, might as well. Right, Souichirou?

Okita: um...You have....bags under your eyes.

Gintoki and Okita: *gets ready to leave*

OKita voice over: Aneue, I'm really really lucky. For most people, these kinds of friends....you don't see much of them in your life time.

But I already have three.

Chapter 132 here.