Meat packer profit margins have increased 300% since the pandemic. Meat producers aren’t seeing any of this profit (and the consumers certainly aren’t seeing any benefit) — it’s just price gouging brought on by greed.

During the pandemic, consumers have been willing to pay increased prices for food because, frankly, they don’t want to starve. Some started spending more on groceries and less on dining out, so the budgetary difference wasn’t as noticeable. Others simply found themselves tolerating the increased expenses because it was a state of emergency and they imagined that there was a reason for the increase.

But it turns out there’s no material reason for the increase except for opportunism.

Throughout the pandemic, profits for grocery stores and food manufacturers posted record profits. As restaurants closed, grocery stores boomed. And as the public transitioned to at-home cooking, food manufacturers, packagers, and sellers took advantage of the situation to substantially increase their prices.

Bottom line: You’re spending more every month on your groceries because of corporate greed.

At the same time, grocery stores have been failing to protect their front-line workers from COVID risks, food manufacturers have engaged in strike busting, and meatpacking plants have remained the same horrors they have always been.

There are no controls for this. Grocery stores, packers, and manufacturers can increase their prices as much as the market will bear. During the pandemic, they have been able to do this so successfully because of the implication that it’s the pandemic and supply chain issues that are leading to the rising costs.

But they’re not. Next time you pick up a pack of steak and note that it’s 25% more expensive than it used to be, know that the money is going straight to an executive — not overhead, not the producers, and certainly not the employees.

According to Insider, BIPOC employees aren’t benefiting as much from the “Great Resignation” as they should be — and that’s only going to increase the wealth disparity in America.

During the pandemic, many skilled workers undertook what is now dubbed the “Great Resignation,” quitting lower-paid jobs for jobs with better salaries, flexibility, and fulfillment.

But there are many reasons why people of color are being excluded from the Great Resignation. And they are issues that we will need to address if we want to counter economic equality.

White Households Have 5x the Wealth of Black Households

In 2019, the average saving account balance for a white household was $8,100. The average balance for a Black household was $1,500. For the Hispanic and Latine populations, it was only slightly higher.

Many people of color simply don’t have the economic backing to quit their jobs and find better ones, even if they are well-qualified for a better working environment. They don’t have the cushion to risk the jobs they currently have — and they don’t have the time to go job hunting.

COVID-19’s Impact on Minority Business Owners

It’s not just that BIPOC employees can’t quit their jobs. Many BIPOC business owners have been forced to look for work.

During COVID-19, 22% of all small businesses failed. But 41% of Black businesses failed during that time and 32% of Latine businesses. 26% of Asian businesses failed and only 17% of white businesses.

In part, this is because minority businesses are more likely to be in areas such as restaurants, salons, and services, whereas white businesses are more likely to be in real estate, finance, and technology.

But it’s also because aid was distributed unevenly — and has always been distributed unevenly. It’s a simple truth that it’s more difficult for BIPOC businesses to acquire funding.

Why BIPOC Business Are More Likely to Fail

Businesses most often fail due to cash flow issues. Unfortunately, BIPOC business owners don’t have the backing that other business owners often do — and that’s because of a biased, often predatory, lending system.

Consider two businesses during the height of the pandemic: a Salon and a Restaurant. Both businesses are shut down for 3 months.

The Black-owned Salon has $10,000 in the bank and $5,000 a month in non-flexible operating expenses. It cannot get lending or financing, which has been historically denied to BIPOC owners. It closes within three months, even though all other months have been profitable.

The white-owned Restaurant has $10,000 in the bank and $10,000 a month in non-flexible operating expenses. It is able to get lending and financing. It spreads the $30,000 it needs into a 5-year loan at 5% interest, which it will pay back as a monthly payment of $566. It survives — even though it’s been losing money, slowly, for years.

The Black-owned Salon had to come up with $15,000 upfront to save their business. The white-owned Restaurant only had to come up with $566. And that’s entirely separate from their ability to survive in the economy; that’s structured, financial discrimination.

But it’s not all the bank’s fault, because of course, the bank is lending based on risk. BIPOC business owners tend to have less equity to begin with, precisely because of systemic discrimination. The only way that banks can safely and evenly loan is if there are specific initiatives designed to improve minority access to funding.

How Race Affects “Moving Back Home”

In addition to failed businesses, many minority workers simply found it more difficult to make it through the pandemic. Consequently, they need to cling to what jobs they have.

Homeownership rates for individuals aged 18 to 34 are 41.6% for white homeowners, 18.% for Black homeowners, and 30.4% for Hispanic homeowners.

But what’s more interesting and impactful is why that is. Wealth and housing are both generational. White millennials are more likely to have parents who own their own homes and who have housing stability.

Even when people of color are able to purchase their own homes, it’s often in areas that don’t appreciate value as quickly. Thus, they aren’t building the same type of generational wealth.

In short, “moving back home” while trying to figure out a messy job situation just isn’t as accessible for many people of color. They may not have a family home to move back to.

Minority Business Owners and Employees Need Greater Access to Wealth

Ultimately, it’s mostly a problem of access and lending. If, during the COVID-19 pandemic, business owners had found it easier to get funding, their businesses would not have shut down. If minority employees had found it easier to build wealth — or even borrow it — they could nowspend their time upskilling or improving their careers.

Poverty is difficult to escape from. Minorities are more likely to live in poverty and consequently don’t have the time, money, and resources they need to build a better financial future.

Long after the COVID-19 pandemic is over, its economic consequences will remain.

Minority businesses, particularly Black businesses, have undergone massive losses during the pandemic. Meanwhile, many established, large white businesses were able to benefit from PPP, EIDL, and RRF loans. And while non-minority employees have been able to upskill and acquire better positions... BIPOC employees have not.

Thus, we are on the precipice of what could be an incredibly disastrous economic restructuring — a restructuring that only leaves more people behind.

It only makes sense that lenders would hesitate to lend out to people who have cash flow issues or a lack of equity. But it’s also a systemic problem more than a personal one, and it has to be countered with intentionality. If we don’t, we run the risk of an ever-broadening chasm between race and class.

If you’re a fan of slow build horror, why not take a look around us?

Decaying ruins, untrustworthy people, and a slowly building sense of tension — is it the newest Netflix hit, or just 2021?

Much like The Haunting of Bly Manor was less about ghosts and more about lesbians, Midnight Mass isn’t about the otherworldly; it’s about blind faith and religion.

Similarly, reality as we know it isn’t about our daily struggles, it’s about what happens when we enter late-stage capitalism.

Horror, as a genre, explores and exposes what we most deeply fear in our everyday lives. Gothic horror, in particular, exposes a specific type of fear: incremental decay.

In Gothic horror, the environment has a mind and personality of its own, uncontrollable and willful. Often, the environment is inhabited by capricious, half-formed, or malicious spirits. Our protagonists perhaps begin the tale uneasy, but with little foreknowledge of what they’re about to go through. Instead, clues are doled out in small pieces, like a mystery.

And if that sense of unease that fills you feels familiar, it’s because it’s a world in which we live. We have an environment constantly decaying. We’re surrounded by people who are apathetic at best, malicious at worst.

And every day, in the news, we pick up additional pieces of this tremendous, clattering puzzle, a capitalist dynamo that seeks to consume us.

The world has become gothic horror, but without the attractive set pieces, clothes, jewelry, and dire romance. Everyone chugs along with their day-to-day, 9–to-5 lives, trying to ignore a pervasive, societal PTSD. So, we doomscroll down Facebook and ignore the fact that our friends can’t buy houses because of Zillow, just as we might shrug at the briefest glance of a looming specter in a mirror.

At the end of a long day, my friends collapse into their chairs, mentally and physically exhausted. They stare at nothing or they stare at their phones. They’ve lived through a shared trauma— but they still need to pay their bills. They’ve lost jobs, they’ve lost housing, they’ve lost people — but they still need to turn on a computer every day to perform abstract labor that, likely, benefits no one, least of all themselves.

We love horror because it reveals ourselves. But it also provides a sense of release. At the end of a gothic horror tale, our protagonists escape. Perhaps not forever. Perhaps not unscarred. But they get out. Their story is over.

What would that look like for us?

Gothic Horror is Making a Resurgence Because We All Live In It was originally published in Snarkist on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

In Squid Game, hundreds of debtors come together to compete in a sequence of high stakes children’s games — to the death. But make no mistake. Squid Game isn’t just another battle royale. It’s an exploration of class inequity, human morality, and the crushing weight of social expectations.

Let’s take a look at some of the lessons Squid Game taught us, including some that American viewers may have missed.

1. Success is 5 percent hard work and 95 percent luck. Neither is optional.

Gi-hun works hard. But most of his wins during the games are incidental. In Red Light Green Light, he’s saved by Ali — he could have died in the very first game. During the Glass Bridge test, he goes last only because he’s paralyzed by indecision. That indecision ultimately saves him. Gi-hun had to work hard to get where he was. But he also had to be very, very lucky.

2. You think you’re on an even playing field, but it’s all just an illusion.

When the games start, the showrunner notes that they’re trying to be as fair as possible. Everyone is supposed to have equal footing. But on the Glass Bridge, the lights are cut when someone figures out the game — the fairness of the game is destroyed to preserve its entertainment value. It is never an even playing field when others can arbitrarily change the game.

In Korea, there is a life-changing, career-altering college entrance test that’s taken much like the SATs on steroids. The Suneung is supposed to be fair, but understandably, the wealthy can afford private tutors.

3. No one escapes morally unscathed.

In the Marbles game, Gi-hun is about to lose (and, consequently, die) until he begins to cheat. He’s played the game honorably up until this point, but having to directly compete for his life sways his sense of morality — and it’s easy to justify because he can convince himself he is the more worthy candidate.

Realistically, every player who agreed to play the game carries some responsibility for every other person who died. Part of being a part of the system means that you’re responsible for the actions of the system.

4. If you’re skilled and talented, someone will just change the game.

In the Glass Bridge, the glassmaker figures out the game by being clever. But, as we noted earlier, it amounts to nothing because the game was never intended to be fair. Being skilled and talented alone is not enough. The component of luck must also be there.

5. The choice to participate is an illusion.

Everyone chooses to come back to the game, making the game theoretically a matter of free will. But it’s not, not really. They can play the game or they can end up dead, homeless, or with their family suffering.

No one portrayed in the game (with one notable exception) is doing it for fun. They are doing it because they have to.

6. Everyone is a victim, whether they’re a winner or a loser.

When Sang-woo kills Ali, Ali is clearly the victim; he believed in him and was betrayed. But Sang-woo, too, is a victim. He isn’t as naive as the others and realizes it’s kill or be killed.

Both Sang-woo and Ali are seeking the money for their family, though Sang-woo admittedly got himself into the situation. But we see later that Sang-woo cares more about his family at this point than his own life; it’s just a matter of playing the game.

7. Your worst enemies are pretending to be in the same situation you are.

Il-nam, the old man, pretends to be just another player in the game. In fact, to him, it is a game. Just like the wealthy, nothing has any real consequence for him. He is able to bow out of the game at any time and move on with what is left of his life, just as a millionaire might start a business for fun.

Il-nam is so disconnected from reality that he later claims that the “very wealthy” and the “very poor” both suffer on equal footing, simply because the “very wealthy” get bored — although he is ultimately proven wrong about human nature.

8. Sunk cost fallacy can take you to some dark places.

At any time, the players could have voted to stop the game. But they didn’t. Once the deaths started stacking up, it became necessary to continue to justify them.

By the end, Gi-hun breaks out of this mindset and realizes that he and Sang-woo can just walk away. But Sang-woo can’t accept that the money would be lost; he’s more willing to die.

9. Your family is held hostage by society and your inability to meet their needs is a personal failure.

Gi-hun wants to provide for his daughter and mother but can’t without the prize money. He is emotionally scarred from seeing a coworker die during a union-busting and finds it difficult to function, but it’s still his responsibility to see it through. It’s his personal failure that he cannot.

In Korean culture, it’s critical to protect your children and your elders. Gi-hun and Sang-woo aren’t able to provide for their mothers, which is incredibly shameful. To a lesser extent, Ali calls Sang-woo “hyung” (big brother) during the games — Sang-woo must also betray his brother to win the game.

10. Most of the time, the enemy is just other people.

The guards of the game appear terrifying to the players. But when one is unmasked, it’s just a kid. These are presumably regular people, going out their days, shooting countless strangers, and even vivisecting them for organs to sell on the black market.

The people behind the masks are intentionally “othered” to make them frightening, but they are just ordinary people on the other side of a gun.

11. Your value to society is only as much as your perceived ability to perform.

Women and the elderly are repeatedly rejected throughout the games because they are physically weaker. But raw strength is only a necessity in a single one of the games; the tug-of-war.

The women repeatedly beg to be included, even after they have performed well in previous games. Unfortunately, being perceived as a liability is enough to get them dismissed when it’s as high stakes a game as Squid Game. And the same is true in many real-world environments.

12. When you’re stuck in a zero-sum game, whoever is closest to you becomes your enemy.

In Marbles, many partners pair up with those they trust and are attached to. But they are forced to turn against each other because only one can end up with all the marbles and survive. Of course, the resource scarcity is arbitrary and by design. But that doesn’t stop it from being a life-and-death situation.

Even husband and wife are required to turn against each other during Marbles. And still, no one thinks to call a vote and cancel the game, even though they know that half of them are going to lose their lives.

13. You’re probably going to end up wherever you began.

Most characters in Squid Game experience significant foreshadowing. They jump off a bridge into water and get dragged off a bridge to their death. They threaten to slit someone’s throat and get their throat slit in return.

Fate, like capitalism, has limited flexibility. Though South Korea as a country has been growing economically, many have come to doubt its upward mobility. In recent years, an immense chasm has emerged between the haves and have-nots.

14. If you’re a bum asking for $10, you’re out of luck. If you’re a multi-millionaire asking for $10, don’t worry about it.

At the beginning of the show, Gi-hun is shown begging for money wherever he thinks he can get it. But because he’s unimportant, he’s dismissed.

By the end, a bank representative practically begs him to be of service. He asks for $10 and the perplexed bank representative is only too happy to give it to him, even though he doesn’t need it — a hallmark of capitalism.

The best way to get money, after all, is to not need it.

• Facebook is down, taking down all its other online properties with it: Instagram, Oculus, WhatsApp, and even Meetup.
• Users furiously refreshing pages looking for Facebook are essentially creating a DDoS attack on other parts of the web.
• Facebook’s outage highlights just how much of the internet currently falls under the Zuckerberg banner.

Facebook is down, so I can’t download a new game on my Oculus Quest 2. I can’t log into Meetup to manage my groups. I can’t update my business on Instagram for the sale that I’m currently running or update my Facebook business page with new events — and I can’t connect with customers on Facebook messenger.

According to Twitter, Facebook’s been working on the outage for 2 hours. But the larger problem is that so many websites rely upon Facebook that other platforms— such as Meetup — have been affected, too.

Any website that uses Facebook authentication has been impacted and that’s over 160,000 websites.

Hilariously, a secondary, unintended DDoS attack is occurring simply because people are trying to load Facebook, Instagram, and other properties over and over — impacting services such as Cloudflare and the Down Detector.

This issue comes on the heels of numerous reports that Facebook was hiding critical internal data, such as evidence that Instagram is harmful for teens. Rumors have it that this may be an associated attack, but a cyberattack is unlikely. Instead, it’s more likely to be a server issue.

Over the years, Facebook and its associated properties have become extraordinarily large and unwieldy. Facebook itself has long been said to be layers and layers of spaghetti code, due to the constant additions and scope creep.

Unfortunately, Facebook has become all but essential for many people— not just as a social media pastime, but as a powerhouse for business owners. It may be time to reevaluate just how much we want to integrate into a singular system, especially one that has been so controversial.

Of course, #FACEBOOKDOWN is also trending — and likely will be until the site comes back.

Facebook is Down and Now I Can’t Get Into Oculus, Instagram, or even Meetup was originally published in Snarkist on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

For the past week, I’ve had to use Lyft. And I’ve had more bizarre experiences than ever before.

But what’s notable is that every driver I rode with had a perfect 5-star rating — including those who seemed unbalanced or dangerous.

Upon reflection, I always rate someone 5 stars unless they seem to be a genuine risk to other passengers. I’m not going to screw with someone’s income for anything less.

And that could be the problem.

Lyft Driver #1

Spoke at length about how she had convinced her 8-year-old granddaughter to “keep secrets” from other adults and give them to her during “secret time.” You know, as a bonding experience.

Lyft Driver #2

Very cheerful fellow. Pleasant. Was physically wrapping a gift the entire time I was in the vehicle — while actively driving. With packing paper, a box, gift wrap, and what looked like twine.

Lyft Driver #3

Car kept making a haunting and persistent beeping noise. I looked around. I asked him if my door was open. He said “No, I just never wear my seat belt. I hate it.” He did, indeed, not put on his seatbelt the entire ride.

Lyft Driver #4

Had a dog with him. No complaints.

Lyft Driver #5

I got into the vehicle and said where I was going. He said, “I hate that town.” I asked, “Why?” He said, “Because they gave me a DUI!”

Lyft Driver #6

A precious angel. Patiently drove me through traffic. A 20-minute ride became a 60-minute ride because all the roads were closed. Not his fault. Protect him.

Lyft Driver #7

Spent twenty minutes complaining about his drug charges. Pivoted to asking me if I knew how many people disappeared, murdered and missing, in the mountains. Followed me into my workplace.

So, Why is Lyft Garbage — And What Does That Mean for Social Data?

So, my theory is that people, by now, understand how the 5-star rating system works. 1 through 4 is garbage and you’re going to be fired. 5 is the bare minimum for retaining your job.

And that’s rendered the data repository useless.

Even if Lyft or Uber drivers may seem a little unbalanced, we’re encouraged to reward them with a 5-star rating. As a consequence, the entire system is falling apart.

In the Black Mirror episode Nosedive, the main character struggles to keep up her social score. She’s “downvoted” continuously, eventually leading to a psychological breakdown and a visit to jail.

But humanity actually isn’t that bold, especially when face-to-face with another person. When scores have consequences, we are proving to be much more willing to err on the side of charity.

If we know that someone will actually lose their job over a less than perfect rating, we will give them a perfect rating. This leads to a proliferation of 5-star ratings that mean nothing.

For the industry, that means other metrics, beyond human reporting, are needed to determine quality. Would the person, for instance, want to use this driver again? That would be the most honest variable.

For humanity, it probably means we shouldn’t be reducing humans to numbers while heavily automating all our interactions.

If you’ve ever felt as though you just can’t get anything done, it could be an issue with your dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter connected to our sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. When our brain is flooded with dopamine, we feel as though we have done something good — and we want to continue.

When you play a mobile game for four hours, progressing through levels, and gaining XP, you’re boosting your dopamine. When you write out a business plan, send it to five banks, and get rejected… you aren’t.

Today, most of what makes us productive people and successful entrepreneurs doesn’t come with an associated dopamine boost. And that’s why we feel sluggish, tired, and morose… even if we’re doing everything we can. Rather, what gives us a dopamine boost is what makes us perfect consumers: buying things, streaming movies, and playing games.

We can counter this, however — with a deeper understanding of what gives us dopamine. This is a form of positive reinforcement and can be used to make us both more productive and happier individuals.

What Drives You?

If you had two hours free, what would you do?

Would you go out to eat at a fancy restaurant? Would you buy yourself a new gadget? Would you watch your favorite TV show? Would you play a video game?

These are likely the things that are boosting your dopamine. They are producing a sense of accomplishment. When you “level up” in a video game, your brain doesn’t know the difference between that and “leveling up” your bank account in real life. When you experience the thrills of a high-speed chase in your favorite TV show, your brain doesn’t know that you haven’t had an exhilarating experience in real life.

And when you eat a great meal, your brain doesn’t know that you just put it on your credit card. It feels like you just “accomplished” that.

To improve your productivity, make a list of the things that fill your brain with dopamine. It’s different for every person. (Some people are lucky enough that working hard really does fill their personal meter.) You may even want to create a spectrum, from a special cup of coffee to a vacation.

Matching the Bait to the Task

So, writing the perfect business plan doesn’t give you a “dopamine boost.” Talking to your clients definitely doesn’t; they’re so demanding!

You can trick your brain into thinking you’re enjoying these essential tasks by pairing those tasks, habitually, with something positive.

You just need:

• What really drives you, no matter how silly. It can be buying brand new socks, if that’s your thing.
• What you habitually avoid, even if you shouldn’t. Checking emails, writing proposals, or just dealing with clients.

When you talk to difficult clients, listen to your favorite music. When you write out the next page of your business plan, treat yourself to your favorite drink. And when you meet a major milestone, don’t just trust that “accomplishing” that milestone is going to help you. Go out to celebrate.

The more you can make this type of dopamine-feeding habitual, the more you tell yourself that you’re doing the right thing — on a physical level. Over time, you should start to feel instinctively excited about completing tasks, because you know that there’s going to be that “reward.”

Here’s the bottom line. We can’t expect ourselves to feel accomplished with every minor task. Sometimes productivity is just a grind. But it’s a grind that gets us to where we’re going.

Improving Your Dopamine Levels

Sometimes, your dopamine levels are just low.

Even if you’re watching your favorite show, you feel dissatisfied. You find yourself window shopping, with nothing to buy. You open your Steam games list, but nothing catches your interest.

There are ways to naturally improve dopamine levels: consuming probiotics, exercising, getting enough sleep, and getting sunlight. If you aren’t living healthy, you’ll probably need to get healthy first.

But dopamine hacking can also be used to encourage yourself to do so. Pair your favorite snack with your favorite exercise. Pair healthy food with a good show. “Bribe” your brain enough, and it’ll start doing what you want it to do.

Think of your brain as a separate entity from yourself. It’s the lizard in all of us. It wants to crawl onto a nice, warm rock and sun itself… potentially into extinction.

A lot of your work is in managing this separate entity; baiting your lizard out with what it really wants.

Avoiding False Motivation

So, remember how we said streaming movies, video games, and eating all produce dopamine? They certainly do. These are luxuries that, evolutionarily speaking, we couldn’t engage with unless we were successful.

But a problem occurs when we haven’t paired these activities with something productive.

It’s easy to spend 14 hours a day watching Netflix. It’s easy to spend 3 hours playing a mobile game. Because these systems produce their own chemical rewards, we can continue to do them almost ceaselessly — unlike work.

And we can eat an entire chocolate cake.

But we shouldn’t.

So, not only should you make it so that you get a “treat” every time you complete work — you should also limit those treats to only when you have completed your work. Pairing them intelligently (dessert, for instance, if you’ve done all your exercises) can make us healthier, stronger people.

Dopamine vs Serotonin

At this point, you might be wondering about Serotonin. Dopamine and Serotonin are very similar and they’re often confused.

People who are depressed or anxious may have low Serotonin levels, which reduces your capacity to feel happy or pleased. But Dopamine is what affects your motivation, pleasure, and satisfaction levels.

In short, when you feel unhappy with your life in general and can’t seem to form relationships, it could be Serotonin. If you feel unsatisfied with your work and as though you can’t get anything meaningful done, it’s more likely Dopamine. But both need to be diagnosed by a professional.

Nearly half of my friends have been recently diagnosed with ADHD. And many of my friends without an ADHD diagnosis are still showing major problems with their executive function. Motivational, productivity, and efficiency issues are becoming endemic because people are separated from the immediate, positive consequences of their work.

But through “dopamine hacking,” you can at least link your work to the things that make you happy — and, in so doing, hopefully, encourage yourself to do them.

Dopamine Hacking for Better Productivity and Success was originally published in Snarkist on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Every heterosexual woman I know is exhausted.

They work 40 to 60 hours a week. They keep the house tidy. They shop for groceries. They pay the bills. They keep track of what clothes are clean, whether there’s dish detergent at the sink, and when the shower curtains need to be replaced. They know when the lease runs out, they know when inspections are; they know where they are moving to next.

If there are children involved, their father spends time with them. But it’s still their mother who plans every birthday party. It’s their mother who knows when the dentist appointments and the doctor’s appointments are. It’s their mother who has their medication schedules on her phone and who knows the name of every teacher.

But that’s not men’s fault, at least, not solely. It’s a societal shift, and it’s one that both men and women need to recognize. It’s changing, but slowly. And in some areas, it’s changing at such a glacial pace it may as well not be changing at all.

Men have more free time than women; they spend it on self-care. From an early age, women are taught to see domestic tasks as their responsibility. If a coffee table is cluttered, it must be cleaned off. Men have been historically taught to ignore these tasks.

There’s no right or wrong to this, except for the perilous grasp of society. Because men have an entirely reasonable rationale: That table is going to get cluttered again tomorrow.

And sometimes, as women, we need to be willing to leave that table cluttered.

Why Many Men No Longer Seem to be Doing Their Fair Share

The problem is, it’s not always just a coffee table.

Women fought for the right to work and be held as equals. But men never marched for the right to do the dishes and balance the checkbook. No one wants to do these tasks. And truthfully, they don’t always have to be done.

When women started working, men (as a whole) asymmetrically picked up the cleaning, cooking, and managing of the household. In reality, keeping a house spotless and keeping everything well-managed is close to a full-time job, especially if there are children involved.

It’s something that neither women nor men really have time to do anymore, but women put the pressure on themselves to get it done.

Being “messy” isn’t something central to being male. If it were, gay men would live in a pigsty. But gay men are more likely to have open, honest conversations at the outset about what is expected from each of them — because there aren’t rigid, gender-defined expectations.

I have seen a women, making $400,000 a year, break down and sob because she just worked a 16 hour day and her unemployed husband ordered takeout just for himself when she got home. She was not his responsibility to take care of and, in fact, he thought that he was giving her a break because she didn’t have to cook for him.

It never even occurred to him that she had to eat, too.

And I have seen women spend literally years supporting men who cannot simply do the dishes, because “they’ll do it later,” but who have infinite time for World of Warcraft. Women who beg and plead for their mate to just do the dishes or pick up their clothes, but again “it isn’t important.”

And, to some people, it really isn’t.

How Much Work Are You Making for Yourself?

At one point in my life, I found myself fighting with a boyfriend.

“I’m tired of having to make the bed and put away the laundry myself,” I said.

“Why do you have to?” he asked. “I never did.”

“You need to stop inviting people over when the house is a mess. There are books and clothes everywhere.”

“I never cleaned up before, why is it such a big deal now? My friends don’t care.”

Well, that’s an interesting question.

I’m not saying that women need to be slobs. But, at least some of us may have higher standards than we need to have. If a woman is working and a man is not, of course, the household chores should probably fall on the man.

But if a woman is working a 60 hour week and her partner is as well, it’s possible she’s killing herself for an unattainable standard.

From an early age, women experience a sort of social “brainwashing.” We are told we must clean that clutter, that it is our responsibility, that something must be done and we are the only ones who can do it.

But men largely don’t have that socialization. (The younger generations appear to be countering this.)

If we don’t cook for our men, they will order a pizza. If we don’t do the laundry, they will run out of clothes, but they’ll still find something. By taking these things on, we create a cycle of negative behavior in both directions. We make it impossible for them to introduce it to their cognitive load and we give it permanent residency in ours.

Men have more free time than women. But men still survive just fine. That’s because men don’t feel ashamed if their house is a little out of order. They don’t feel like they’re failing as people if they have mismatched socks. They will eat pizza for a week straight if that’s what they need to do to feel better. They forgive themselves in ways that we feel we cannot.

Open Communication Will (Almost) Always Be the Answer

A lot of this, with a good partner, can be dealt with through open communication. These are the tasks that are required to run the household. This is what you need to do. This is what I need to do.

Most male-focused tasks are things like taking out the trash and mowing the lawn; they don’t take a lot of time. But most men will also consistently do them because it’s what is expected of them. Because ultimately, it’s not men who are the problem.

What we’re experiencing is a broad shift in expectations that we all need to manage, together.

And that means that in the end, there might be things on your list that realistically neither of you have time to do. And, oh well. You’ll both survive.

But the more insidious part is that open communication isn’t always the answer. Because most expectations fall upon women, it’s very easy for women to fall into abusive or neglectful relationships thinking that, as a woman, this is what they have to do.

Of course, you cook and clean for him. Your mother did that, too. Of course, your father also worked a full-time job. But as a feminist, you can support both of you, can’t you?

This is why so many of my friends have found themselves bending over backward to help men who will not help themselves; to “mother” men who won’t find a job, won’t take care of the house, and won’t stop playing goddamn World of Warcraft.

So, have reasonable expectations of your partner and don’t take anything for granted. But also, have reasonable expectations for yourself — and give yourself a break.

A lot of people are trying to get into the online writing industry. And it isn’t hard. I say this to be genuine: I’m not trying to sell you a drop-shipping scheme or an affiliate marketing site. You might not make thousands right off the bat. But it’s not hard to make a few dollars.

I started writing online about 8 years ago. I immediately started making around $6,000 to $7,000 a month. “This is so easy,” I thought. “Why isn’t anyone else doing it?”

But, when encountering the overall writing community, I got blasted. First, people didn’t believe that I was making that much. Then, people thought I was “cheating the game” somehow; hiring other people to do the work for me. Next, they thought I was charging rates they could only imagine — when I was actually charging less than they were.

Finally, I got blasted for charging lower rates.

Here’s why I’m giving you credentials…

Because the truth is my advice is almost recklessly opposite of the advice that I was given. Looking back on my career, I think most of the advice being put out there is by people who have never seriously tried to do this as a primary career.

This isn’t going to work for everyone. But this is what worked for me:

1. I stopped trying to diversify.

I realized early on that I was spending hours chasing leads when I had jobs right in front of me. I developed a “grab what you have” philosophy that’s actually worked out very well. Yes, a job can disappear at any time; a client can leave. But they can’t take away the money you already earned.

2. I charged what I needed to.

There’s a whole philosophy here about “not undercharging” because you “know your worth.” I wanted to make $100 an hour so I charged at about $100 an hour. Other people are going to tell you to charge way, way more because otherwise, you aren’t a “professional.” These people are making $500 a month while retired.

3. I worked on my speed.

I type at 160 WPM. That’s not an accident. There’s an advantage to typing that fast; you start to “think” differently. You’re no longer thinking about an outline then laboriously typing it out. You think through your hands. Yes, quantity vs. quality. But the truth is that most people on the web want quantity.

4. I didn’t wait until I was “ready.”

I started going for jobs when I needed jobs, not when I was ready with a full portfolio. I definitely developed a portfolio over time. But it’s easy to psych yourself out and feel “not ready” for certain jobs when you already have all the credentials.

5. I leaned on my tools.

I use all sorts of tools. Grammarly is a great one — if you keep in mind that not all their suggestions are accurate. This vastly cuts down on my revision and editing process because it catches things that I simply can’t. A one-person team is going to eventually have visual fatigue.

6. I only worked with people I liked.

There’s this antagonistic relationship between writers and their clients that I don’t quite get. If I have a client I don’t like, I cut them loose. But when I see communications between writers and clients, it’s almost resentful. If you’re not enjoying working with someone — you don’t have to.

7. I didn’t try any slick tricks.

Here’s the other end of it. A lot of writers try to figure out some “trick” to making more money, like outsourcing to other writers or using speech-to-text program. It never works. You waste more time trying to set up the “trick” than you would if you just sat down and wrote. The brutal truth is that if you put the time in, you get better. That’s the trick.

8. I wasn’t precious about it — but I also didn’t just give up.

Sure, everyone wants to be writing fiction in a coffee shop. But if you’re “precious” about your work and wait for the “perfect topic,” it’ll never come. At the same time, writing about something you absolutely hate is going to kill you inside. I struck a balance: I write primarily about technology. If you cringe when seeing a topic, just decline it. You’ll spend more time fighting with yourself than is productive.

9. I genuinely enjoy what I do.

I like it. I have fun doing it. I’ve seen writers liken writing to the process of pulling worms out of their soul and I think to myself, “Huh. Maybe they should do something else.” If anything you’re doing is like pulling worms out of your soul, you took the wrong path in the Choose Your Own Adventure. We can’t whimsically and romantically die of consumption anymore; now it’s just called alcoholism.

My career isn’t perfect: You can do it better.

I’m not sure if it’s ADHD, chronic anxiety, depression, or just that I live in 2021, but I spend a lot of my time struggling to function. This is how much I’m able to make despite the fact that half my brain is constantly fighting the other half in some sort of divine neural storm. If you have even a modicum of professionalism, you can do it, too.

What’s your favorite hobby?

If it’s knitting, you can get a quality skein of yarn from a local retailer for $12.00, or you can get it on Amazon discounted to $6.00.

If it’s board games, you can purchase a copy of Settlers of Catan direct from the distributor for $55.00. Alternatively, you can purchase it from Amazon for $40.00.

If it’s jewelry, you can get a length of natural stone beads for $12.00 in a store… or $6.00 (with a 20 percent off coupon) on Amazon.

If it’s D&D, you can purchase a copy of the Dungeon Master’s guide for its MSRP — $49.95 — or $25.00, from Amazon.

Amazon is Openly Trying to Consume Small Business

It’s no secret that Amazon is cheaper. But why it’s cheaper is important.

Amazon is not a brick-and-mortar retailer. So, it should have lower overhead, right? For years, that’s been the old saw: Amazon can outcompete you because they don’t have overhead. They don’t have physical employees, utilities, and rent.

But in the last decade, Amazon has developed an extensive network of warehouses and drop-off points throughout the entire world, along with its own last-mile transportation company.

More than that, though Amazon can be competitive with its prices, it can’t be that competitive.

“There are two kinds of companies, those that work to try to charge more and those that work to charge less. We will be the second.” — Jeff Bezos

As a retailer, there are products that we get for a 50 percent discount. So, if a product is $50, we get it for $25. Amazon doesn’t sell these products at “low profit,” Amazon sells these products at no profit. Amazon will sell these products for $25 and make nothing.

Actually, it’s making a loss, because of its operational expenses.

Amazon’s goal is to consume the small business sector by running smaller shops into the ground. And it’s succeeding.

Amazon as a Distributor — The Only Distributor

Usually, the supply chain works like this. A manufacturer sells to a distributor. The distributor sells to a retail business. The retail business sells to the consumer.

Amazon cuts retail out of the equation, allowing manufacturers to sell directly to Amazon and Amazon to sell to the customer.

And it’s a great deal for the manufacturer. Amazon does all the fulfillment for you. More and more, companies like yarn sellers, board game retailers, and other hobby suppliers are just sending their products directly to Amazon rather than retailers.

“Amazon today remains a small player in global retail. We represent a low single-digit percentage of the retail market, and there are much larger retailers in every country where we operate. And that’s largely because nearly 90% of retail remains offline, in brick and mortar stores.” — Jeff Bezos (Amazon is currently 50 percent of the eCommerce Market)

There are many ways in which this is a good thing. Theoretically, it could reduce waste. In many ways (and this is coming from a retailer), the retail industry is terrible for the environment and the world.

But Amazon isn’t great for the environment either. Because Amazon promotes its one-day and next-day shipping so aggressively, it’s created a massive infrastructure that’s devoted primarily to last-mile shipping services. The ability to purchase one item at a time means a proliferation of excess shipping waste. And Amazon, itself, is not known for positive worker conditions.

Once Amazon runs all the other retailers out of business, it gains the power to control that market.

The Problems of Runaway Capital

Amazon is worth nearly two trillion dollars. We have reached a stage where certain corporate behemoths simply cannot be competed with. Amazon could operate its retail sector at a loss for years just to run the competition out of business.

In the next few years, we could see Amazon destroy not just small businesses, but:

• UPS and FedEx. Amazon has its own shipping, last-mile shipping, and courier services.
• Pharmacies. Amazon has recently launched a pharmaceuticals service to deliver medication by mail.
• Shipt and Instacart. Amazon is developing its own Amazon Fresh service.
• Spotify and Pandora. Amazon Music is swiftly growing and is included with Prime.
• Macy’s, Sears (already), etc. Amazon has effectively killed off big-box retailers.
• Barnes & Noble. Small book shops and book stores like Borders have already died.
• Etsy. Amazon Handmade is making a clear and present run for Etsy’s money.

In short, Amazon is hard at work trying to consolidate across all markets. There may come a time when everything you buy is from Amazon.

When that happens, Amazon is able to set its own price. It’s also able to control a significant portion of the job market.

Is Amazon Evil?

To a certain extent, consolidation isn’t bad. As mentioned, it makes things more efficient — if efficiency is the goal. If Amazon is able to push, for instance, toward sustainability and carbon neutrality, it will do so more effectively than 200,000 separate businesses.

But there aren’t checks and balances with such a large company. Not only can the company engage in price-fixing but there’s no one to stop it when it violates workers' rights.

That being said, Amazon is no eviler than Walmart, insofar as all major monopolies have a tendency to steamroll their opposition and, unfortunately, their employees.

In good conscience, you can’t ask people to spend more money than they need to on luxury goods. Perhaps in the fairest world, everyone would be able to purchase things directly from a distributor, and retailers themselves would die.

But people should be wary of the sheer amount of economic power Amazon has amassed. Today, Amazon is the second-most powerful company in the country — and the fifth-largest in the world. Not bad for a company that was founded in 1994.