LEND ME SOME SUGAR ; i am your neighbor

Swim At Your Own Risk.

mcyummy — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 23:56:54 GMT

I've decided my favorite thing about being a life guard is yelling at kids to get out of the pool during adult swim.

mcyummy — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 05:24:21 GMT

We all know that my journal is approximately a hot mess and I completely suck at all things blogging these days, but, until I fix that, I am good at...

TWITTER.

Tonight's Not A Good Peyote Night.

mcyummy — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 18:02:30 GMT

I'm not going to lie to you: it felt real good being able to pass up all the lines for The Dark Night last night and be like "I'm seeing Mamma Mia!, bitch."

Oh, c'mon, you guys know me better than that- I saw The Dark Knight at the midnight show on Thursday. Geez. Don't be so serious.

Girl, H2Oh No You Didn't.

mcyummy — Mon, 12 May 2008 05:11:48 GMT

Can't wait (again!). Legendary?

He's Was Floating! Is This Ghost Ball?

mcyummy — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 07:48:18 GMT

Apparently I don't know how to function one of these computer devices anymore, huh. Three months is like... a trimester? But I'm back and hopefully you'll be seeing a bit more of me around these parts. It's been wild, to say the least. Busy and wild. I wouldn't even know where to start, so we'll live in the present. And in the present there are really just a few things:

1. I finally heard back from my first college. I got accepted to NYU in their General Studies Program, which I am very excited about. It's such a relief to know that even if things fall apart with USC (I hear back in late March/early April), worst case scenerio says I'm going to NYU. And that is not too bad of a worst case scenerio to have.

2. I went to the movies tonight with this random ass group of people to see Charlie Bartlett. It was a whim of sorts, and I didn't have my wallet (just some pocket cash), and the ticket teller bitch would not sell me a ticket. I realize kids try to sneak in, but I haven't looked 16 in years (in fact, I don't think I've gotten carded in about 4 years). We were going to just have one of my friends with ID go to the other teller and buy me one, but the Nazi put the brakes on when she called him on her little phone and told him not to sell us any. I live about 40 minutes from the theatre and going home would have been pointless, so I tried to work with her. I asked her if I could call my mom and she could talk to her, or if I could have a copy of my ID faxed over, I even offered to give her my social security number and she could phone it in for a full CIA background check if she so chose. But, nothing. Then a girl I hardly know well called her dad and had him come over to the theatre (they live the closest) and buy my ticket. He was hilarious too, he was like "Golly, son, how many time do I have to tell you you can't be so forgetful." The movie was good, so thank you Papa L.

I guess that's only a couple, but they wouldn't say no to a threesome if I could think of anything else exciting. I went on a retreat this weekend that was too amazing to put into words, but it knocked out these past few days off (definitely worth it, without a doubt) and so I've got to become a man in the trenches of 'Nam tomorrow for about 250 pages. In conclusion, I should hit the barracks now. She-eet, ain't that just the bee's knees.

100 Movies in 2008

mcyummy — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 21:05:53 GMT

My attempt in Oh Seven ended shamefully, but it is a new year and, thus, another chance to prove I am a man. Buckle up, MF'ers, you're in the death seat.

001. License To Wed
002. 3:10 To Yuma
003. Waitress
004. The Kingdom
005. Ghost Rider
006. Mad Money
007. Cloverfield
008. Good Luck Chuck
009. Shoot 'Em Up
010. Over Her Dead Body
011. Psycho
012. Fool's Gold
013. Run Lola Run
014. Jumper
015. Pigs
016. Rushmore
017. Step Up 2 The Streets
018. Semi-Pro
019. Charlie Bartlett
020. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
021. Gosford Park
022. Never Back Down
023. Enchanted
024. Drillbit Taylor
025. Casablanca
026. The Bucket List
027. No Country For Old Men
028. Bordertown
029. Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds
030. 2001: A Space Odyssey
031. Road To Perdition
032. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
033. Baby Mama
034. Iron Man
035. Made of Honor
036. Prom Night
037. Speed Racer
038. Citizen Kane
039. Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
040. A Hard Day's Night
041. P.S. I Love You
042. What Happens In Vegas
043. Sex And The City
044. Georgia Rule
045. The Fall
046. You Don't Mess With The Zohan
047. The Strangers
048. Kung Fu Panda
049. The Incredible Hulk
050. Get Smart
051. WALL-E
052. The Curiosity of Chance
053. Vantage Point
054. Wanted
055. Resurrecting The Champ
056. Torque
057. Sugar & Spice
058. Bring It On: In It To Win It
059. Penelope
060. Stop-Loss
061. Definitely, Maybe
062. Hancock
063. The Dark Knight
064. Mamma Mia!
065. The Spiderwick Chronicles
066. Step Brothers
067. X-Files: I Want To Believe
068. The Bank Job
069. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
070. Pineapple Express
071. Tropic Thunder
072. Sunset Boulevard
073. Atonement
074. The Leopard
075. Singing In The Rain
076. Out Of Sight
077. Straw Dogs
078. Fargo
079. Loving
080. Clash By Night
081. Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
082. High School Musical 3: Senior Year
083. The Lady Eve
084. Larceny, Inc.
085. High School Musical
086. Zach & Miri Make A Porno
087. The Sting
088. Little Shop Around The Corner
089. Four Christmases
090. House Bunny
091. Twilight
092. Quantum of Solace
093. Seven Pounds
094. Slumdog Millionaire
095. Role Models
096. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
097. Snow Angels
098. Bride Wars
099. American teen
100. Fight Club

Look How Hot You Are. You're a Big Plate of "Yes" Sitting There.

mcyummy — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 08:20:41 GMT

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Or Happy Hanukkah to the Jewish readers. Sorry I'm late, I've been running around like a crazy person for the past few weeks, but things haven't been so bad. I survived at least without having a stroke, probably for the below reasons:

1. Two weeks ago I had Model UN, which was one of my top five experiences, ever. It was in the Chicago Sun Times building downtown, so we got to stay at the hotel from Thursday to Sunday, which was nice because it was only a short walk to food, etc. Kirstin and I were the esteemed delegates from China in the Historic General Assembly, which was cool because one, communism, and two, HGA had a bunch of other people in it I knew. We kind of decided to screw foreign policy and formed an alliance with our friends on Malta and took over the conference. The DIAS was frizzy and a little excessively sassy, but we were all good debaters and such (we tried, unsuccessfully, to legalize marijuana), until the last day when we just got out of control. Iraq tried to get the Christmas trees removed from the room, Iran gave a speech about polar bears, Russia was still pissed we shot down their resolution, and China tried to censor Djibouti. Then, obviously, we dissolved the security council, instated a world president, and started a nuclear holocaust. It was a busy morning.

Outside of meetings, I loved being with my friends down there. We would walk around the city for lunch and we're all such suburban city wannabes, it's amusing. We went to Ed Debevics, where the waiter had a field day with us. And gave my friend, Nicole, a lecture about her odd love life. Then on Saturday we went to see Phantom of the Opera (which caused me to delve far deep into the realm of YouTube this past week). One of my best friends, Kelly, and I now do a stunning duet after a bit of harmonizing. We had to miss a bit of the delegate dance, entitled "Club Delegate", because of the show, but we got back in time to catch the end. It was out of control hardcore, I couldn't even handle it. There were so many nerdy kids from committee that you saw and they were freak dancing the hell out of each other and you just stared and were like "Damnnn, Somalia, you's a freak!!". The only bad part of the weekend was that I roomed with my friend Jason who Kelly says I'm "in a relationship with and it's complicated" and we got along really well the first night and then ended up fighting the rest of the weekend. We're cool now, so, things worked out.

2. A couple Wednesdays ago Jaclyn and I went down into the city (via train, which I love, love) and saw a free screening of Juno that I'd signed up for a while back. The taxi driver scared the crap out of us though because he seemed to be driving around in no particular direction and then dropped us off at a Lowes when the tickets said AMC, but when we got upstairs a guy asked if we were there for the screening and fielded us into the theatre. AND IT WAS THE FUNNIEST MOVIE EVER, MAYBE! Seriously, it is one of my favorite movies now and everyone has to go see it pronto, stat, now. You will laugh your ass off (and Jennifer Garner is a perk). Afterwards I got a little, cool surprise and found out that an alum from my high school wrote it. Crazy, we're not all going to be squares after all.

3. The other day I was ready to pay someone to push me down a staircase and then, as I was getting ready to take a nap (which I've been doing a lot lately), the doorbell rang. I didn't answer it right away and the person kept ringing, so I threw on shorts and went and opened it. St. Theresa Little Flower, it was a group of little neighborhood girls and their little brothers and little friends and they all sang "Frosty The Snowman" for me. It was very, very cute, and so I gave them all high fives when they were done.

4. Kelly and I went down to Chicago on Saturday to go to the Art Institute. We could practically feel our culture points rising with every step we took, even though we really weren't good at playing Art Institute. We would just look at the pictures and be like "Hm, ok." and move on. And then one of the pieces (featured in the extremely creepy "Girls In Adolescence" gallery) was of a Swedish girl lip syncing to the Backstreet Boys and Kelly kept shouting "THIS ISN'T EVEN ART! I'm pretty sure I saw this on YouTube." But we kept looking at it, because it was creepy. After, we ate dinner at some shitty TGIF-esque restaurant, whose name I can no longer recall, where Kelly felt Rosie the Waitress kept sneak attacking her. And we bought a homeless man a sandwich, which was our good deed of the day!

5. My brother, sister, mom, and I went up to my grandparents' house in Green Bay, WI for Christmas. It was fairly dramatic, per always, but it was fun. The airline was holding my aunt's luggage hostage apparently, which had her stressed out, but that was probably the biggest kink in the holiday. Otherwise, we went bowling and played lots of cards and old school Nintendo. On Monday we rang bells for the Salvation Army at the mall, and my aunt from California and I were stationed together and we were insane. We danced and sang and my aunt kept taunting people ("Run! Run! The people with the bells are talking to you!") and making up stupid chants ("Give me a 'H', give me an 'O', give me a HO, HO, HO!"), but a lot of people put money in and we had a lot of fun. My grandma's mom came over that afternoon, and for the life of her she could not comprehend who I was. I gave up after awhile, because I realized she was just bat shit crazy and missing an eye. She's nice though. Then, at night, we had to go to church, which was ridiculous. The priest, who had a gold tooth and gave me a fist pound, gave the most erratic, nonsensical sermon, it was like open mic night.

Christmas morning was exciting, though we didn't have our traditional (and delicious) breakfast, which was a downer. My mom got my siblings and I a Wii, which was a phenomenal time! We played Wii bowling all day with the whole family (my grandma got really into it and pwned us all!) and then had the big lobster/steak dinner and some "Happy Birthday Jesus!" cake. We came home that night and did a family Christmas, where I mostly just got clothes and a couple movies. It was a very nice holiday though and it was nice to see all my family.

I'm finally done... with what is most likely the longest post in my LJ history. I shouldn't even be awake right now though because I have a flight to catch tomorrow because: I'M GOING TO GREECE! I'm going with my friends and I could not be any more excited. I spent the day (over)packing (which means between watching Transformers and Domino and going to see National Treasure: Book of Secrets) and I'm finally ready. I don't have to be dropped off at the airport until noon though, which isn't too bad, and then I can (though I know I won't) sleep on the plane. So that is where I will be the next 10 days, and I cannot wait to get back and read up on all your journals (I'll try to check my e-mail from Europe too). Have a happy, happy New Year!

I am terrified though that Britney Spears is going to die for some reason while I am gone. I figure they will tell us though, even over there. Stay with us, Brit.

I Thought I Was Going To Have A Dead Midget On My Hands.

mcyummy — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 06:10:28 GMT

Dry your eyes, Mandy. I want to climb up all 9 feet of you.

If You're Taking Me Somewhere Where I Don't Need A Boa, Then I Don't Think I Want To Go.

mcyummy — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 06:08:05 GMT

I take a Motion Picture/Television Production class on Saturdays and this week we had to group up to short stories, and with my luck the only kid in the class who likes me (possibly because he's perpetually between various stages of being hung over and still drunk) was absent- probably dead- and so I got paired up with Laura the Lesbian. For some reason she felt a little field trip to Circuit City to buy some cords for her Zume would be a great little boost for our brainstorming, but I did not object. We listened to her lesbian propaganda techno music the entire way and when I tried to turn on "Boogie Shoes" by KC and the Sunshine Band she just about put her cigarette out on my arm, so, you know, I hate her. On the way home she had the heat on so high in her crappy minivan that I felt like I was suffocating and it was making my stomach hurt, but I didn't want to say anything lest I seem rude. But then I threw up. Speaking of lesbians:

WHAT THE- Why do you hate me?

When I left class I got a little surprise gift from Mr. Jesus that was my car completely frozen over as an immediate result of ice rain, like up North. And by North I assume you all know I mean Svalbard, comme The Golden Compass. Jacky and I went to the show Saturday night and I loved it, even though he kept comparing it to a porno with occasional lude hand motions. His description of the ending is borderline fantastic though (SPOILERZ): "The kids fell asleep and cuddled with each other. Then, the movie stopped and left the audience guessing at what those two scoundrels were doing."

Sunday was relatively boring. I opted out of church in the AM and when I went to Taco Bell for lunch, my total was $6.66. I'm on Lucifer's radar (on his radar), but what's new? Then at the tennis club a lady asked me where the locker rooms were and when I told her "over there and to the left" (to accompany my pointing, I'm not a barbarian) she asked if I meant up the stairs, which I assume is the only option other than a brick wall. I wanted so badly to respond "No, bitch, tap the bricks- It's Diagon Alley!!" Self control at its finest. Then I wrote an English paper I'm quite proud of, with a Tila Tequila shout out in the first sentence, a Tyra Banks shout out in the second sentence, the phrase "once you go black, you never go back" before page three, and mentions of fellatio and Lee Pace. And that's what's going on with that.

You Better Run, Hot Dog. Mamma's Hungry.

mcyummy — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 05:45:30 GMT

Oh heeey, Mindy!Wife. What you doing on Heroes? Sea water has got your hair looking a hot mess, Min, and when I saw it... I had a momentary seizure. At least you're living your life in the name of science. Keep in touch.

Holy Fuckballs, I Think I Won.

mcyummy — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 04:36:32 GMT

I Black Friday-ed for the first time this year, which is exactly as thrilling as urban legend makes it seem. I woke up at 4:45AM, which was supposed to be 4:15AM, but I overslept my alarm because I tend to have priorities and staying up to watch America's Next Top Model will always trump personal hygiene. My buddy Mikey Z. was waiting for me when I got to his house and we got to Best Buy just as the lines were entering; thus, beginning the craziest day of shopping I've ever completed. A day that transcended multiple stores, required a SoBe rehydration stop at Jewel, and lasted damn near 5 hours.

Best Buy:
Death Proof - 9.99
Hard Candy - 9.99
V For Vendetta Special Edition - 7.99
Employee Of The Month - 4.99
300: 2 Disc Special Edition - 6.99
Mr. & Mrs. Smith - 4.99
Walk The Line - 4.99
Man On Fire - 4.99
Knocked Up - 6.99
The Office: Season Two - 14.99
Entourage: Season 2 - 16.99
Entourage: Season 3, Pt. 1 - 16.99
Entourage: Season 3, Pt. 2 - 16.99

Target:
The Holiday - 3.98

Circuit City:
Prime - 2.99
The Constant Gardener - 3.99
Domino - 3.99
Weeds: Season 2 - 12.99
House: Season 1 - 12.99
House: Season 2 - 12.99

So I may have splurged a little, but I am generally more of the cheap variety so it was fine on my bank account. And then I threw down for Wonderfalls, because I've been looking for it forever (damn you, Lee Pace) and finally found it at fye. I would classify it as a success before noon. Also a success? My bowling a 171. Just saying.

2/3 Ain't Bad.

mcyummy — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 07:27:26 GMT

This post is a two part statement. One, I dyed my hair black. There was really only one way to go and it was darker. I dig it. And two, I went to "Muggle Mania" as they call it in our town on a whim while I was driving home tonight. My friend Kelly was at the bookstore so I just planned to hang out with her while she waited. It was fucking pandemonium 2007 down there though, and I have to admit it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. It was a mix of really drunk people bar hopping and costumed Harry Potter fans, so you'd look one way and see a not so flattering resemblance of Hermione Granger and then the other way you'd see a bar fight. I'm not going to lie the bar fight was cooler, mostly because it ended in a guy getting arrested. The lines for the books were monstrous and people were just sitting down in the middle of the road to start reading. As we were walking out of the store after getting Kelly's book I decided I kind of wanted one too, and just my luck, a kid walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to buy his book no wait. I threw down the extra $5 and now own the last Harry Potter book, or as Kelly calls it "The End Of My Childhood". That's right, I scalped my Harry Potter. People go ape shit about this stuff though. You'd think it was a new episode of Kyle XY or something.

Bitch Tears?

mcyummy — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 06:10:14 GMT

There was a Veronica Mars shout out on Kyle XY and my brain almost EXPLODED.

That Cheesecake Was For Everyone.

mcyummy — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 06:13:02 GMT

Last weekend I went camping with Jase and his family. We drove up early early Saturday morning and stopped at the Farm and Fleet, because Wisconsin has them and we don't. Then we went up and got fishing licenses (even though I hate fishing) and then piled up all our shit onto canoes. I embarrassed Jase's little sister Kelsey and her pal Chill at the docks because I kept yelling out how they thought the boys working there were so cute. We evened up the boats by doing boy-girl and I ended up with Kelsey, which wasn't too bad except that I was stronger than her so our boat kept turning. We did 8 miles the first morning and then set up camp on a sandbank just down stream from- wait for it- a nudist beach. It was hilarious because we were just canoing and all of a sudden we saw a bunch of naked guys walking down the beach! I'm not a huge camper but I did have fun fishing and doing s'mores and swimming. We never caught anything, but when Jase's dad made a Brokeback Mountain campfire allusion I laughed a lot. As did I to:

Kelsey: "I stepped on sticks!"
Mr. Wirth: "The band?"

The tent situation was cold. And sandy. But then we had to wake up early to finish canoing up stream so that we could get back home so I could work at 5PM. I read half of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants in the car, because I was bored and I forgot to bring my own book. I got a little burnt on my knees and shoulders and I've been feeling it at work. The job has been crazy though lately because I've been going full time. The night I got back I had to work dining room and closing it SUCKED. I am a terrible mopper and there is so much tedious cleaning that it takes about 2 hrs to close down. I picked up a lunch shift today and it was INSANE. People go nuts about Panera at lunchtime and it was pretty much nonstop from 10 to 4. I ended up going over my shift to a 9.5hr work day with no break. It'll be worth it though on pay day, but for now I'm exhausted. And in need of some hausting.

I Don't Know What Condoleezza Rice Is. Yaaaa, She's Kind Of Hard To Eat.

mcyummy — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 06:41:43 GMT

Mwahaha, thank God for late night TV or I wouldn't have gotten that gem. I definitely don't even have to update more than once because every day is the same now. I'm finally done with training at work, which is the tits. I worked dining room yesterday which include ME CLEANING UP DIARRHEA. Ew, what is this? Laura, who only speaks spanish and I feel so bad because I cannot understand her, did most of the work though. Help me, guys! Hit me up with some Spanish phrases. Tonight I started cashier and I probably deserve a trophy because I am so good. And I look damn fly in my hat. Actually the hat helps because I am mostly confused and incompitent.

Every night this week I've gone bowling. Solid. The first night I went with Brad and he spanked me. Then we skeeved in the arcade and watched these sick kids play In The Groove 2. I ran into Gretchen and one of her friends and we hung out with them and screwed Gretchen over with a In The Groove 2 kid who had frizzass Jesus hair. Brad totally perved on her friend and so he was more than happy to go to the hookah bar. He has crazy allergies so he was coughing the whole time. What a shifty kid.

The rest of the nights I've been going with Mikey, Bri, and Matt. We're training so we can take the bowling league by storm next year. I've been off and on but I've had some good games. We go to the shadiest bowling alley but it's cheap. You feel like you're going to get axed on the way there though. Then we go back to Mikey's house and have Super Smash Brother tournaments. I am the definition of cool, people.

Then I Thought, You Know What, He Deserves It. He's A Really Good Dancer.

mcyummy — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 06:23:05 GMT

Let's take a travel back in time, shall we? First stop: 2:05PM of today. After almost dying getting lost on the expressway in the rain, I finally arrived at Arlington Race Track for Father's Day. I parked as far away as physically possible and was dying of heat by the time I got to the gate and unnecessarily paid $6 to enter. But then I won a couple races (ya, suck it jockey of horse 5 and your bitch ass complaints about "foul play") but basically just re-bet that money. My Hawaiian blue freeze was delicious though.

But wait, let's continue back even further to about 7:25AM, which is way to early to be waking up. But I had to go to my Planet Bread Panera training class. It was bizarre, truly truly bizarre. I got lost on the way there (trend?) and so I ended up a bit late and had to sit next to this crazy at least 35 year old named Rachel, who kept trying to talk to me about my apparent love for stickers. We watched a video and the first thing the narrator said was "Some call it the food of life. We know it as... BREAD." And I was all "WHAAAT??!?" I just sat in my corner quietly and listened to our teacher Fedele (or Fedizzle as he insisted). Then we cooked bread and as I was chowing down on my baguette this other girl came up to me and says "I think I have a crush on you" to which I replied with a full mouth "I didn't even talk to you...". Bizarre.

One more trip back, just for good times. I forget the time, maybe 9:15PM of a few nights ago. The gang went out for quarter bowling, which did not end up being quarter bowling, but I ripped my pants. I don't even know man, but every time I bowled the rip down the middle of my thigh got bigger and bigger. Maybe I'll turn it into booty shorts. I am a phenomenal bowler though. The first game I had a 31 on the 6th frame and ended with a 132. Spare, spare, turkey and I'm awesome. The second game I had a 24 on the 6th frame and ended with a 117. They call me the closer. Rawr.

At First I Was Horrified To See The Father Offer The Son A Smoke.

mcyummy — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 06:54:54 GMT

Here's what is on my mind, because it is way too hot in my room to sleep. And MTV trash TV is far too addictive to my eyes. List form, because what's a paragraph really if not conforming.

(1) I finally got a summer job at Panera. My friend Dustin told me they were hiring at the bank he worked at (what? I could practice my embezzling) and so I went to where he told me and found out it was one of those banks inside the grocery store, which skeeves me out. Luckily, I saw my best calculus friend Gina buying tangerines and she told me to apply at Panera (she works there too). I had the weirdest interview ever for me ("Teamwork. What does that mean to you??"), but which is probably normal. Except for the 15 minute story about shopping at Myers, in which the only thing that I could contribute was that one time I went to Myers to buy ping pong balls at midnight.

(2) My family was in over the weekend, but they mostly left on Sunday. Before they left I got to take my aunt and little cousins to the river walk and go paddle boating (which sucks when it's you working the whole fucking time). Here's a little known fact: if you walk along the main path with only your cousin's 20 year old nanny and the baby in the stroller, people stare. My step grandparents are still in town, which doesn't both me because they are deaf. But my uncle is still here too and I am going to kill him, except that I like the truck he has and I get to drive him while he's here. I am not above murder.

(3) Last night the gang came over and we watched Hannibal Rising, mainly just because I wanted to watch a movie with Gaspard Ulliel and his dimple thing (though it was distracting in the end, but not in a bad way). It was a solid film though, and it was exciting when he ate his first person. I also rented The Fountain and I'm so, so, so excited to watch it tomorrow.

(4) I cannot stop listening to Rihanna's Good Girl Gone Bad, it's so addictive. It's good for long listening, such as yard work or cruising (I don't cruise, that would be so creepy) because I like the whole CD. And I found a really good country station on my FM, which successfully completes my presets. BUT, I cannot for the life of me find either of Minnie Driver's CDs. HELP!!

(5) Kathy Griffin is HANDS DOWN my new hero. I've found My Life On The D-List and I am never leaving. She is possibly the funniest fucking person I've ever heard. True story, we have the same sense of humor. I TOO AM INTERESTED IN NICOLE RITCHIE'S DUI. Actually Nicole Ritchie is my hero too and I love Simple Life Goes To Camp. She's coming to Chicago in October and I'm determined to go. Kathy, not Nicole.

(6) FUCK THE CW. How dare you dangle my Veronica Mars in front of me and then take it back? HOW MUCH DOES A MIDSEASON REPLACEMENT HURT YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO NEED IT ANYWAYS. I am excited to see the FBI pitch on the DVDs though. Hey, I need to catch up on Kyle XY real quick, don't I? Matt Dallas. Give it up. This ended up longer than I thought. The post, not Matt Dallas. And paragraphy. Damn the man. Damn.

I Wouldn't Say Intoxicaed, Maybe A Little Inebriated.

mcyummy — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 06:10:10 GMT

My sister is having a party at our house tonight, and her friends are fucking annoying and drunk, so I'm trying to avoid it. Except that my bedroom is the room next to the basement and a girl just came in screaming followed by a guy crying and telling her to never call him again. I swear to God I thought he was going to hit her. It was so confusing. But my averting has allowed me to stumble upon:

Top 10 at Willowbrook? Most of the party wasn't too bad though. I ate some cake and kicked some ass at bags. I did lose my car keys though. But soon I am going to be rich, because I am going to call Crime Stoppers on their asses and collect my hundred bucks. Or just start asking for IDs and making citizen arrests. And I need a fucking job. Which is not related, but I'm not a fucking idiot like Isaiah Washington. Hire me.

Never Lie To A Man About A Chocolate Fountain!!

mcyummy — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 07:07:33 GMT

Last night I went to Sarah's sisters wedding and rocked it out. The wedding was really early in the afternoon and then we rode a trolley around town drinking until it was time for the reception. Bells are retardedly annoying. The reception was a blast though, because I got to eat dinner with a computer nerd, a fat Condi Rice look-alike sans a handful of teeth(who also had the fliest dance moves ever), and a heroin addict. You know I was all over talking up that ground. Then I hit up the dance floor and closed that place down. The Cupid Shuffle is my new favorite dance. EVER.

And when I could not find anyone to play tennis with me today, I realized that I was bored with summer. Which is why I ended up watching the MTV Movie Awards. I really enjoyed Sarah Silverman's "Lindsay needs structure in her life. She needs a strong father figure. She needs someone to sit her down and tell her she's a rude little pig." but, after seeing Paris and Nicole help Gloria up the path, I kind of felt bad for her during the prison jokes.

They Spelled Coming Wrong. Ohh.... That's Gross.

mcyummy — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 06:41:01 GMT

Helllllo, summer. School is for twats. I spent the whole day at the park playing tennis and soccer and volleyball with the gang. It was FUCKING hot though, for real. It almost killed me, but it was fun. Then Mikey and Matt and I saw Knocked Up and I definitely recommend it. Leslie Mann kills me. She didn't top "I'm starving. Let's get some FUCKIN' french toast!!" but there were many, many quotable moments. And one very sick one.

I'm Not The Girl Next Door, But I'm The Girl Down The Street. In The Hood.

mcyummy — Wed, 30 May 2007 04:01:08 GMT

Tyra, you cannot praise Renee at panel and then kick her off. You fuck this up every time. Natasha looks like a puffed up, botoxed penguin. And Jaslene looks like a dude. Wrong again, twat.

OHMYGOD. Thank God Kenny is safe On The Lot. His movie sucked all sorts of asshole, but I have all sorts of love for that man. And Shangri-La. And the boy wonder Trevor. Get a new host though, because, am I getting sick of her? Yeah, actually I am.

Do not get my hopes up. My poor little fan boy heart cannot take it right now. But... SEASON 4!!

I'm In Ur North Africa, Buildin' Mah Troopz.

mcyummy — Sun, 27 May 2007 06:39:07 GMT

I'm telling you, there's no better way to study for your American History final:

I was supposed to spend the day catching up on book notes, but my uncle wanted to play a "really difficult game" (which after 20 minutes of my uncle reading the directions out loud, my aunt regretted enough to suggest we watch porn instead). The stronghold in northern African and Australia is my beautiful army that I've been slowly building as my aunt and my sister battle each other to the death. We shall resume war tomorrow, at which time I have been promised an ass whooping I shall never forget. But failing my final would be worth it for being able to hear my aunt tell my sister to, "Stay out of fucking Asia. Bitch." Diplomacy at its finest, people.

May I Offer You A Werther's?

mcyummy — Wed, 23 May 2007 04:54:46 GMT

OH MY GOD, YOU CANNOT CANCEL SOMETHING THAT FRIGGIN' GOOD.

More when I overcome my state of depression. Fuck the CW.

Sometimes Lessner is More...ner.

mcyummy — Sun, 13 May 2007 05:41:22 GMT

I'm sorry I suck as a LJ friend lately, but I've been so tired and running around like a crazy. We had Friday off for prom, and I ran around all day picking up my expensive suit, my expensive flowers, and listening to country music. Sarah had to run in track sectionals so we couldn't actually go to prom, only post-prom. I had a lot of fun at her meet though because I love cheering at girl's meets, because I know all the girls and love yelling. The meet was in this really bad part of town though, so they couldn't use the starting gun. Instead they used like a lazer... We had to fucking jet from the meet to Sarah's house to change, then to prom to catch the buses for the yacht club.

We got to the buses just as everyone was boarding and we had to sit behind my english teacher. Piggy (that's his new nickname since we've been reading Lord of the Flies) was LOADED. He was the funniest person ever, and I fucked around with him so much. He was so out of it and telling us his best friends "Sam and Jack and, my best friend, the Dirty Martini". I beat him at the alphabet game and then gave him a mint and he asked me where it was from and I had to tell him he'd given it to me 5 minutes beforehand. The post-prom was swanky and a lot of fun, but I never got to steal by boat. They had a tent set up outside and so we caught up on dancing, but we were surrounded by possibly the weirdest couples every (besides the friends we were dancing with) and I rapped some Vanilla Ice too. It got so hot that when they turned the lights on at the end the condensation all rained down on us. I looked fly though in my suit, and also a bit like a waiter.

Then they made me wake up earlish this afternoon-morning to catch a bus to go to our not really friend but awkwardly in our group friend's lake house. We drove the bus driver (whom I named Leron) crazy, and I kicked ass at Catch Phrase (PER USUAL BITCHES). We basically just chilled out the whole day and played slaps with the hackey sack, bean bags, and ultimate frisbee. Then we went down to the dock and the girls layed around and the boys threw the frisbee at them. Whenever we missed it would go into the water and we'd have to jump in after it, and the water was ungodly cold and you couldn't breathe. We did that until we got yelled at by the kid's parents, then they threw a dead fish at the girl. I didn't partake because I'm more mature. We bonfired at night and ate some din din before hopping back on the bus, where we played Buzz and Ghost. I need to go to sleep though, because tomorrow I'm working the early shift and going to the Bull's game. That post was a LOT longer than I expected. Great company.

Goooood Point, God.

mcyummy — Tue, 08 May 2007 03:52:44 GMT

I definitely got a 15/45 on my Calculus final. It'll probably get curved to a 75% or so, but I still felt retarded. Then a dirty rumor and a Tux-measuring groping/scolding later, I've decided I haven't been having a good day. So, I've decided I needed something good (besides Sylar's mom, oooooh snaps):

Veronica: "Are you kidding? When I told him my name, he did the banana fanana bo bana thing."

Now, I've got an appointment with a bottle of glue, Chunky K's breastesses, and, damn it, a revolution to start.