Fan Fiction by anyothergirl415

Yes, I exist. And... bidding time?

2013-06-28T01:08:21Z

Hello all! Long time no see! Sorrrrrrrry :(

You can now bid for me over at help_syria. I'm asking for a min. bid of $10 and I will very willing write J2, Wincest, or Hannibal slash.

bid here

It looks like there's lots of options for fic bidding so browsing and exploring and help a good cause!

Please? :D

My bad!

2013-04-12T04:30:52Z

To all of those who have been waiting for me to friend them back in order to read co-written fics I am SO sorry! It's been a hectic few months for me!

I will now add everyone back and remind you how it works with gaining access to fics on LJ!

You need to friend me here, and justawriter. Then join the community saucyminxfix.

You can also find fics on AO3:

Co-written
Brie's fics

Thanks for being patient! Hit me up on this post or in DMs if you have any questions!

Us Until the World Ends - Jared/Jensen - NC-17

2012-12-24T01:11:56Z

Title: Us Until the World Ends
Author: anyothergirl415
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Words: ~9,700
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - AU, underage (Jared is 16, Jensen is 17), first time, zombies, violence (with mentions of blood and gore), moments of angst
Summary: It hit Jensen then, how strange this entire thing was. They were in the middle of the street, in the middle of a town that was probably full of zombies that were hurrying as quick as their dead legs could carry them toward the scent of blood trickling down Jared's leg. And here the boy was, grinning and bouncing like they were about to head into fucking Disney World.

Notes: This is a gift for riyku written for spn_j2_xmas! I decided to go with your prompt 'surprise me!' and included some of your favorite likes such as high school AU (sort of), first-times, apocalyptic fic, roadtrip fic, and so on! I do hope you enjoy!! Thank you my darling fiercelynormal for the quick and speedy beta!!

Download on A03

Sometimes, without even meaning to, Jensen found himself humming or whistling or singing the words to songs he hadn't heard in months. It was like a subconscious tic, like his brain could only handle so much silence - or echoing screams, echoing gunshots, echoing anguish. He'd be creeping slowly through a long-abandoned traffic jam and pause halfway through Stairway to Heaven to consider how stupid he was being. Anyone could hear him. And what would he do then?

But no matter how many times he caught himself - always with the silent rant and rave over the risks - it never failed to happen again. It was damn dangerous and Jensen knew that.

And still. Here he was.

"Oh, Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law." The song fell from Jensen's lips against his control - at least he had pretty good taste in music - as he roamed along the grocery store aisle. His ears were straining beyond the noises he was making, always alert - in was one of the better qualities he'd fine-tuned over the last few months.

Just when he realized he was singing aloud again and it wasn't the internal soundtrack he'd been intending, his head was jerking up and his hand was lifting. The gun in his grasp was cool and reassuring, the most grounding thing he had in this world that had all gone to hell.

Jensen sucked in slow deep breaths and narrowed his eyes, crouching down so his head wouldn't be obvious over the top of the low shelving. He peered through the shelves and his heart rate picked up speed, thudding too loud in his ears. They could hear it, they always could. Brainless, emotionless, the fucking dead come back to life and still they could pick out food from miles away.

He thought that made them animals. Which made it just a little easier to shoot when it came down to it. But then, he'd changed in a lot of ways since the world ended.

Jensen sucked in a deep breath as his finger tightened on the trigger and the form shuffled closer. It was still picking up his scent, or his heartbeat, or whatever it was that caused them to flock to the nearest living thing.

Sucking in a few quick breaths Jensen slowly backed up, glancing over his shoulder at the door he'd crept through a few minutes before. He'd really thought this store was empty and it sucked that it wasn't: Jensen was running low on supplies.

Before he had a chance to slip outside something loud clattered across the store and his eyes widened with the echo of a low curse. He was pretty sure the dead ones didn't talk. The creature spun toward the noise, growling loudly and quickening its pace. Jensen was in the clear; he could make a break for it and be gone long before others showed up - because others always showed up - and that was what he should do.

But, like the songs he couldn't ever get himself to stop humming or whistling or singing, Jensen couldn't just leave.

"God damnit," he muttered under his breath and ducked down, hurrying quickly across the store. The clattering of whatever - cans from the shelves, probably - grew louder as the person obviously realized the dead ones were coming and he - or she, which was just as likely - was screwed. "Come on!"

"Oh shit. Oh fuck." The boy - because it was just a boy, Jensen realized a moment later as he rounded the last aisle - skidded quickly back, sliding over the cans.

"What the hell are you doing? Get up and run!" Jensen hurried forward and stooped down, snagging the boy's sleeve and dragging him roughly up to his feet. The last thing Jensen really needed was someone who couldn't even handle not freaking out when face to face with real life goddamn zombies and he considered just making a break for it - sure he could ignore that nagging little bit of humanity that had kept him there in the first place.

Then his eyes landed on the bag the boy was fumbling for and his heart lurched all over again. Food. A whole shitload of food. Cans of tuna and crackers and peanut butter and even something that looked suspiciously like a package of Oreos. It was alright to be selfish if it meant saving this kid’s life at the same time, right?

"Oh my god, oh my god," the boy gasped and finally tugged the bag quickly over his shoulder and straightened up.

It was then Jensen realized exactly why he was freaking out so much. There was a smear of fresh blood along the white tile floor and the boy limped as he hurried forward. Jensen's stomach knotted up but he simply tightened his hold on the boy's arm and tugged him hard back through the store. The dead one was close, Jensen could feel fingers grabbing at his sweatshirt hood, but he wanted to spare a bullet if he could.

"Get outside, see how far the others are." Jensen shoved the boy toward the door and spun, twisting the gun in his hand and driving the butt of the weapon hard into an already broken skull. This one - a woman, once upon a time, maybe even the wife of the man who owned this Mom and Pop store - had obviously had it rough before the end. Jensen pursed his lips together and tried not to inhale the acrid dead stench as he drove the weapon over and over into her head.

It was better not to use a bullet. It would keep the others away for a while. She was just an animal. She wasn't human. Jensen did what he had to. To survive.

"Let me see it," Jensen snapped the moment he was outside once more, sucking in a deep breath to keep the churn of bile at bay. It never got any easier but he supposed if it did, he wouldn't be all that human any more.

"W-what?" The boy stuttered out, eyes darting either way down the street then back on Jensen. "See what?"

"Your leg." Jensen didn't have patience for this kind of thing, they didn't have time to wait. "Fucking drop your jeans and let me see."

"Why?" When the brows drew together Jensen felt like reaching out and smacking him. How the hell this kid had made it so long in this new dead world, Jensen really didn't know. "Do you really think this is the time?I'm not bringing you with me if you've been bit. So if you don't wanna keep sitting around here being zombie bait I suggest you drop 'em so we can get a fucking move on." Jensen's fingers were trembling from the lingering adrenaline but he didn't want to let any of that weakness to be obvious in his actions. So he spun the grip and pulled the rag from his pocket, scrubbing the lingering dark sticky blood from the weapon.

It had the desired effect. The boy's eyes grew wide and the way his own hands shook intensified as he fumbled quickly with the fastener on his jeans. Jensen watched - for just a moment, because he couldn't seem to look away - then turned, scanning up and down the streets just in case. The others couldn't be far off, they never were, and they probably shouldn't be doing this here. But if this kid was bit, it was too late for him, and Jensen wasn't going to risk his life dragging around a soon-to-be-dead-head for no reason.

"I was just trying to get away, without drawing its attention, you know? Ran into the jagged part of the shelf, that's all it is." There was a bright red flush on the boy's cheeks and he kept his head down as he dropped his pants, letting them pool around his ankles.

Jensen believed him, though he probably shouldn't. He should get close and inspect the wound, make sure it was what he said, but it wasn't like the dead ones ate with grace. They'd bite through the denim if it meant getting at flesh and, even if there was a fair bit of blood, it wasn't near the amount it would have been.

"Alright fine, pull 'em up and let's get out of here." Jensen huffed and stepped forward as the kid yanked his jeans back up, slinging the heavy supply bag up onto his shoulder. "Let's get out of here before the rest show up."

"What's your name?" Finally the kid seemed to stop shaking, or at least he managed to quicken his pace even with the limp and keep up with Jensen. "Who says I'm gonna go with you, anyway?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you have another option?" Jensen kept walking but arched his eyebrow at the boy, slow smirk tugging at his lips. "Because clearly you've got your shit all together."

"Was just a rough morning. I'm Jared, by the way, since you asked and all." When Jared rolled his eyes he stopped mid-motion, a look of surprise crossing his face. Like he'd stopped thinking something so commonplace would happen to him again.

Jensen understood. It was weird, something as normal as teasing in a world that was anything but. "I'm Jensen. My truck is just up here."

"You can drive?" Jared collided with Jensen's back when he stopped suddenly, turning to Jared with arched brows. "What? You hardly look older than me."

Jensen choked on a laugh that surprised him and continued walking, shaking his head as he hurried toward his truck once more. "Oh, yeah, 'cause cops? They're really cracking down lately. I'm seventeen, Jared. Plus the ten or so years you get by default just surviving in this hellhole."

"That would make me twenty-six. Sweet." Jared scratched along his shoulder and shot Jensen a bright grin, continuing to follow after Jensen in a quick limp.

It hit Jensen then, how strange this entire thing was. They were in the middle of the street, in the middle of a town that was probably full of zombies that were hurrying as quick as their dead legs could carry them toward the scent of blood trickling down Jared's leg. And here the boy was, grinning and bouncing like they were about to head into fucking Disney World.

"You know, you're pretty fucking weird." Jensen shook his head and yanked the door of his truck roughly open, tossing his bag quickly inside. "Get in before we become someone's dinner."

"You know, you're pretty fucking morbid," Jared shot back and threw Jensen another of those grins before hurrying around the passenger side, tugging at the door and climbing in.

-===-

They rode in silence for hours, which surprised Jensen. It seemed a little like Jared was the chatty type, he expected to be hit with a million questions, but then he’d highly underestimated how long Jared must have been struggling on his own. The moment they were free of the town Jensen glanced toward his new passenger and realized the boy was asleep, slumped against the window, completely relaxed like he probably hadn't been for the last two months.

Jensen considered the idea of keeping Jared around and what that would mean. For two months, eight of the longest weeks of his life, Jensen fought to keep surviving in this world. He slept locked in his truck, parked in any hiding place he could find, clutching the gun between his fingers. And even then it was only for two or three hours at a time, waking with a start and looking around wildly because he always expected them to be there, waiting to devour him.

But with Jared there... maybe sleeping would be easier. They could take turns, Jensen could fully relax for a while; he wouldn't be completely alone anymore.

Around the second hour of their drive to nowhere - because where would they go? What difference would it make? - Jensen realized just how stupid his line of thought was. The kid had just about ended up as zombie bait back at the store, and he'd been foolish enough to get cut. The idea of him being strong enough to keep an eye on Jensen and keep him safe was ridiculous.

Knowing Jensen's luck, Jared didn't even know how to use a weapon, or even kill the dead ones. So Jensen would let the kid sleep, he'd patch him up, and then he'd send him on his way. This world was dangerous and not just because of the zombies. Jensen had learned this firsthand.

It took another two hours and Jensen finally pulling off onto a dirt road for Jared to wake up. The boy looked around quickly, scanning out the windows as Jensen slowly drew to a stop. They weren't really anywhere, but it was secluded which was enough, and being at the top of a hill made keeping an eye on things easier.

"Where are we?" Jared asked as the engine ticked steadily as it cooled off..

Jensen reclined back in the seat and rubbed along the back of his neck. "Nevada. Few hours outside Indian Springs. I don't plan on driving through the city, too big."

"So you're kind of... I mean, you've got your shit together. You know what you're doing." Jared exhaled shakily and swayed forward in his seat, sitting hard back against the door a beat later.

It was only then Jensen realized how badly Jared was shaking, how pale his skin was. He should have realized it earlier but apparently he didn't always know what he was doing. "Come on, get out and come around back."

Jensen shoved the door opened and climbed quickly out, tucking his gun into the back of his jeans and hurrying around to open the tailgate. It wasn't like Jensen knew a whole lot about wounds and medicine and fixing someone up but it wasn't too hard to figure out when someone was not doing so well. And Jared looked just a tiny bit better than the zombies, which wasn't saying much.

"What..." Jared frowned and limped forward, leaning against the truck heavily. "You're not kicking me out are you?"

"No. Drop your pants and get up here." Jensen tugged one of the bags forward, sorting through the medical supplies he'd managed to collect.

"You really seem to have a thing about getting me outta my pants," Jared muttered but he didn't protest, slipping out of his jeans and climbing slowly up onto the back of the truck.

Jensen huffed a laugh and snagged a bottle of water, offering it out to Jared with a couple pills. "Take these, I'm gonna patch you up."

It was silent for a long few minutes as Jensen worked, using alcohol pads to sweep over the area and inspect the damage. The cut wasn't all that bad which surprised Jensen but he bit back the questions rising up in him as he wrapped an ace bandage around the boy's calf, hoping it might mask some of the blood smell. When he glanced up Jared had his eyes closed and he slowly swayed from side to side.

"How long has it been since you've eaten?" Jensen finally asked, stepping back and balling up the trash, stuffing it in a Ziploc bag.

"Define eaten," Jared breathed, slowly blinking his eyes open and giving Jensen a small smile. "Had a Twinkie yesterday."

"God. How are you still alive?" Jensen huffed and turned away, shaking his head as his gaze scanned down the hill, checking just in case. It was all clear for now but it wasn't likely to stay that way for long. They needed a place to rest for the night, Jared needed some real food, and somehow the decision to kick Jared to the curb was long gone. "We have to find somewhere to camp for the night. I've got some jerky in my bag you can eat for the protein."

"That mean you'll let me stay?" Despite how exhausted Jared looked, his pale skin and shaky fingers, he pushed off the tailgate and stooped down to tug his pants up. "At least for a little while?"

If his father were still alive, Jensen was pretty sure the man would remind him just how stupid this idea was. Jared would only drag him down, use up his supplies, and put his life at risk. But Jensen had never been as strong as his dad - except that one time and that had taken a lot out of him.

"Yeah. At least for a little while." Jensen turned to head back to the driver's side.

-===-

It took another three hours to find a place that seemed moderately safe for the night. The house was in the middle of nowhere - a shack more than anything else - and Jensen hadn't seen any zombies for a solid hour. Still he did a thorough sweep of the shack before helping Jared carry everything inside and insisted they sleep in one of the back bedrooms that had no windows.

"You don't think you're maybe going a little overboard?" Jared asked quietly as Jensen nailed several boards over the door, fiddling with the lantern Jensen had brought in.

Jensen stopped mid-swing and turned back to Jared, eyebrows arching incredulously. "You do remember almost becoming a tasty treat this afternoon, right?"

"You spend hours coming up with these zombie food metaphors, don't you?" Jared shot back easily and smirked, the action fading as he shifted back and rubbed over his stomach.

As if on cue the boy's stomach rumbled so loudly Jensen almost flinched. He finished pounding the nail in and turned, dropping the hammer in his bag and stooping down to dig through his supplies. "Here, eat this. We're about as safe for the night as we can get in this world. Maybe we can get some real sleep."

Jared dug greedily into the bag of jerky, stuffing pieces quickly into his mouth and chewing noisily. "God, that'd be fucking amazing. Pretty sure I haven't had a full night's sleep since shit hit the fan."

Jensen nodded because that was the only way to survive in this world. In this room though, he felt safe enough to even let his guard down some. Any zombie trying to get to them would make enough noise Jensen would wake before they could break through the wood.

He was tired enough he felt like he could crash right then and there but his own stomach grumbled in protest so he crawled toward Jared's supply bag instead. It was strange having someone there with him, like somehow in the last couple of months Jensen had forgotten seventeen years of well-learned social skills.

They ate in silence and Jensen tried not to strain his ears, not to listen for any potential threats. He had to pretend, just for this moment, that they were safe here. Even if they weren't and they never would be.

"We should get some sleep," Jensen spoke around a mouthful of food, stuffing too much jerky in his mouth because the way his stomach curled together in hunger felt almost painful. Sometimes Jensen could go days without eating, he just had to. But then it hit him, hard, like it always did, and it seemed like there could never be enough food.

Jared eyed him with raised brows, chewing slowly on the jerky. "Where are you from? You know... back before."

The idea of having casual conversation - over jerky, in a room they were boarded into, on a bed they'd be sharing though they'd known each other less than twelve hours - was a little surreal. Jensen swallowed thick and full, biting down on his lip in his haste. "Um, what?"

"Well you had to live somewhere, right? With... a family or whatever? Someone you had before everything happened?" Jared didn't seem to have any qualms about laying it out there, asking Jensen like it couldn't possibly have been a sensitive subject.

Jensen stuffed the remaining jerky into the bag and tossed all the supplies on the floor, standing to tug the blanket back a moment later. He tried not think about how creepy it was, sleeping in some bed that could have belonged to anyone. After all, it wasn't like he could really afford to be picky right now. And Jensen would much rather think about stupid things like this then Jared's question that stung and burned in the worst way.

"Wow okay, sorry, apparently I shouldn't have gone there," Jared mumbled, hurrying to stand quickly when Jensen yanked the blanket from beneath him.

There was no way Jensen was letting himself feel guilty for apparently hurting Jared's feelings. They didn't even know each other, and they weren't going to. Jensen wasn't looking for a friend, or a companion, they weren't going to become best friends or lovers or ride off into the sunset together. No, they'd watch each other’s back, keep an eye out where the other couldn't, and that would be that.

"Well, I'm from Texas. I was at a theater camp in San Francisco, you know, when everything happened. But I'm working my way back to Texas now, to find my family. They'll be waiting for me. It's taken forever to get this far but now that you're here with a truck we can-"

"What are you doing?" Jensen snapped, turning to watch as Jared pulled off his socks, laying them on top of his sneakers. The boy hesitated and looked up and Jensen shook his head. "You sleep with your socks and shoes on Jared, god, don't be an idiot."

"What? But, no one's going to get in here. We're safe." Jared looked around the small room, gaze lingering on the nailed in boards.

Jensen wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or smack Jared hard on the back of the head. Maybe, possibly, both. And very hard. "We are never safe Jared, don't you get that? Fuck, how the hell have you even survived this long? If a zombie is breaking through the wood on the door trying to get at us and we have to run for our fucking lives do you really want to waste time getting dressed?"

"I have survived just fine, thank you very much. And I am not sleeping in my shoes. Pretty sure if I really have to run for my life I'm not gonna mind doing so barefoot." Jared rolled his eyes like this logic was simple and self-explanatory.

Fuck this, Jensen was going to ditch Jared as soon as feasibly possible. He clearly would not be capable of anything of actual worth. He didn't bother with an answer, choosing to ignore Jared entirely and climb onto one side of the bed, lying on top of the blankets even if he'd just gone through all the effort of tugging them back. It wasn't like comfort was really his top priority, at this point he was just glad not to be scrunched in the cab of his truck.

"So, we can go to Texas, right?" Jared asked after a few minutes of silence - after he'd undressed to just his boxers and t-shirt and slipped under the blankets, settling on the bed like it was no big deal.

God, this was a really fucking big deal. Jensen didn't understand how Jared didn't get that. Until, of course, the question sank in and the boy's babbling from before hit him. Jensen rolled slowly and tried to stare at Jared in the darkness. He hadn't even realized Jared had turned the lantern off. "You were alone, when everything went to shit, right?"

"Well... not technically alone. I was at the theater camp. All the news reports started up and I was able to get ahold of my parents, before the lines went dead you know? My Mama told me to get to her, to come home. So I packed up my bag and... did. Or started too. Got some rides at first but... it's kind of hard to know who to trust."

There was so much ease behind Jared's words, discussing everything like they were picking out favorite movies and the scenes that made them amazing. The startling realization that Jared, somehow against all odds, had managed to remain innocent and untouched by the now-cold, dark, brutal world was enough to melt all the agitation and annoyance from Jensen's mind.

Slowly but surely he kicked free of his shoes, shifting along the bed to slide under the blankets and scoot just a little closer. Jared was facing him, lying on his side, and though Jensen couldn't seem him in the pitch dark he could feel the heat of the boy and the steady release of air from his lips.

"Jared..." Jensen whispered and reached out through the darkness until his fingers touched the boy's soft cotton shirt. "You might not like what we find, if we go there."

"My family will be waiting for me," Jared insisted, so sure it brought a surprising prick of tears to Jensen's eyes. "They promised. They'll be waiting, you'll see. And you can stay with us. We'll get through this together."

Jensen curled the soft cotton shirt beneath his fingers and closed his eyes, relieved that Jared couldn't see the pain on his face. "Okay. Okay. We'll go to Texas."

"Good," Jared breathed and moved just a little closer.

-===-

When Jensen woke it was with a start - which wasn't that surprising, since that tended to be his most common method for waking lately. This time though, he wasn't cramped and there was something hot and pressing into his chest along with a puddle of wet that Jensen was pretty sure was drool. Jensen scrunched his face up and tried not to think too much about Jared full-out cuddling him.

In the distance - probably miles from them, but without a window it was impossible to tell - Jensen could hear the loud shrill of sirens. It was enough to shake any of the pleasant warmth he was maybe soaking in. Sirens weren't all that strange, sometimes people hijacked police cars or something, blared the noise like it would scare off the undead. But Jensen had seen the direct results of those sirens and the absolute last thing it did was send them running.

"Fuck. Jared. Get up, come on." Jensen shoved at Jared, clambering up to his feet and hurrying to tug his shoes on.

"Wha?" Jared mumbled sleepily, the mattress squeaking as he sat up.

Jensen hurried over to the lantern, flicking it on to try and get Jared moving. "Did you hear them? The sirens? That's like the fucking batcall for the undead. We'll be live bait in the middle of a full-on herd if we don't get the hell out of here now."

"A herd? You do realize they're not cattle right?" Jared's voice was rough with sleep but he started dressing automatically, stumbling into his jeans.

"No, they're worse than cattle. Because they will catch our scent and tear through the wood to get to us and we'll be stuck in this fucking room with no windows, just waiting for them to tear us apart." Jensen spoke as he shoved items into their bags, desperate to be back in the truck and on the road.

It was really the only safe place they could be, no matter what type of illusion they'd created in this room.

The noise across the room had ceased and Jensen's head snapped up, eyes narrowing on Jared. "Did you not catch onto the fucking urgency of this situation?"

"I think maybe you need to get laid." Jared dropped onto the edge of the bed, tugging on his socks and shoes with none of the speed Jensen would have preferred.

Jensen blinked over at the boy then down at his bag, laughing though he should be freaking the fuck out. He could feel the rise of panic in his chest, he knew just what would happen if they were caught up in the swarm, and still Jared was somehow making him laugh. Yesterday, before they'd met, Jensen was pretty sure any comment like that would have caused his irritation to snap.

"Would you just pick up the pace a little? Because I will leave you behind as bait if I have to." Jensen straightened up and spun to the door, using the back of the hammer in his bag to pull the nails and boards free.

By the time the wood was gone Jared was there behind him, gripping both bags and the lantern, watching Jensen with arched brows. "Well? What are you waiting for? The dinner bell?"

Jensen snorted - somehow Jared kept bringing that out in him - and gripped a gun in his palm as he slowly twisted the knob and pushed the door open. Having Jared watching his back, knowing someone was there, made traveling out into the unknown easier than it had ever been.

And Jensen was oddly okay with that.

-===-

As it turned out, Jared knew how to drive. Jensen had stopped being surprised by the little things involving the boy but this one hit him in a different way. Maybe because Jared had seemed so surprised that Jensen could, or maybe it was just that strange and perfect little innocence Jared had. Like driving could somehow taint that.

Jensen had seen the way Jared's gaze scanned the horizon though as they'd headed out to the truck. He'd watch Jared's fingers curl around the hilt of a blade as they loaded things in the back and hurried to the cab. But the boy had never needed to raise his weapon and that smile was on his lips as they sped from the cabin and began the slow journey toward Texas.

The drive was relatively normal, considering the circumstances. Jared sang random songs - Jensen tried not to think about how that was usually his M.O. - in between his never-ending babbling and Jensen tried not to scan the horizon too often. He couldn't help it though and it barely took a few hours for his eyes to start aching with that familiar burn. He knew they'd have to stop soon.

Which is how he learned Jared could drive.

"Wanna switch for a while?" Jared suggested after an unusual stretch of silence.

Jensen pursed his lips and looked over at Jared, his foot lifting slightly from the gas. "Do you even know how?"

"I grew up on a ranch, Jen, I've been driving since I was twelve." Jared laughed, reclining back in the seat with that enviable ease.

And Jensen wanted to trust Jared, wanted to recline in the seat as well, but giving up control like that seemed like an impossibility. His fingers tightened on the wheel and his jaw clenched, the determination crawling up his spine. Somehow Jared had wormed his way into every other part of Jensen already but it was not happening here.

"Who was it?" Jared asked quietly a few minutes later.

He was sitting up now, turned toward Jensen with furrowed brows and pursed lips. When Jensen didn't answer - just looked away and shrugged - Jared reached out and let his fingers curl steadily over Jensen's shoulder. The squeeze was soft, barely there, but Jensen felt another one of those walls crumbling.

Who the fuck was this Jared guy anyway?

"It's just you and me here now, Jensen. We're all the other has got. The sooner you accept that and open up to me the better it'll be."

There was something so cocky about Jared's words - though his tone was soothing, likely meant to be reassuring - that Jensen found his foot literally stomping down on the brake. It sent Jared flying forward into the dash and haa the cocky son of a bitch could just deal with that, he deserved it. "Get the fuck over yourself, Jared. Stop acting like I need you here. Stop acting like you're the one going out of your way to save me."

"And you think you're doing the saving?" For the first time ever there was a strong note of anger to Jared's words, enough to have Jensen slowly turning to look his way. The boy's lips twisted together in a scowl as his fingers rubbed over his forehead. "Stop looking at me like you think I'm some goddamn idiot. I mean, fuck Jensen, how do you think I managed to survive these last two months? You think I haven't taken a life? You think I haven't experienced all the shit out there? I don't live in some magic bubble that death and violence and gore hasn't penetrated."

Believe it or not but Jensen somehow found himself intimidated by the fire behind Jared's words, the anger in his gaze. He swallowed thickly and looked away, peering out the window because it seemed safer. Which was saying a lot. It wasn't like he really thought Jared was all that innocent - no matter how idealistic his fantasies had gotten - but he'd never pictured Jared killing one of them.

How could he still smile and joke around after something like that?

Jared sighed and Jensen could feel his anger deflating, his hand extending to brush a soft touch down Jensen's arm once more. "Look... I get that it's different for everyone. We all process things in our own way. I'm just saying, you're not alone anymore. I'm here now. Give me some credit and let me carry some of the burden."

In that moment Jensen had a hard time believing Jared was truly sixteen years old. He sounded so much older - twenty six, like he'd joked about the day before - and Jensen felt awash with something new.

Relief. The idea of Jared really carrying some of the burden, easing the pressure, being there. Wetting his lips slowly, Jensen turned to Jared and nodded, reaching out to take the boy's hand.

"Okay. You can drive."

The grin on Jared's face was blinding and Jensen found his own came easier than it had in so very long.

-===-

Over the course of the next couple days Jensen learned more about Jared than he'd ever really needed to know. Like, apparently the boy had an obsession with Moulin Rouge, and his singing was really horrible. And he never ran out of things to say. That was one of those little things that could be annoying if Jensen didn't find himself smiling so often.

Jensen had calculated on the map - while Jared drove, very well for that matter - that it was a twenty hour drive to Jared's hometown. But they had to avoid all the major towns to avoid any extensive zombie population and it added an extra day at least to their journey. Between stops and not driving at night - just to be safe - it was going to take roughly four days to get to Austin.

And then, they somehow had to figure out how to get through the city to get to the Padalecki residence, but Jensen was trying not to think about it too much.

Currently, his gaze was fixed out on the fields, seeking a place they might be able to camp overnight, and Jared's babble was washing over his shoulders like it had been for hours. Jensen probably wouldn't have even given it much thought, would have just dismissed whatever ramble Jared found himself on, if the words hadn't suddenly hit him like a fist in the gut.

"Well then I kissed Wallace, which was much better than kissing Margie most definitely, and made me realize that I am most definitely gay. Not that I really think that matters now."

"You're gay?" Jensen jerked toward him, eyes widening. It surprised him - not in a bad way - and he wasn't entirely sure why he hadn't realized that before. "Why would that not matter now?"

"Um, yes, I am. I think at least. It's not gonna matter because who would date me now? Will dating even matter, really? I'm going to get zombified and I'll be a virgin forever." Jared sighed dramatically, looking toward Jensen with a smirk like it really was a big joke.

Jensen still didn't quite get how Jared could do that, joke around about the end of the world so easily. But he found himself smiling in return, then laughing, then trailing off as he realized exactly what this meant. "Me too. I mean, the gay thing. And I guess the virgin thing. Just had a blow job before. I um, I really didn't think you might be..."

"Oh. Oh. So maybe... maybe it does matter then." A blush crawled up Jared's cheeks and he ducked his head down, tightening his grip on the wheel.

Things like sex hadn't really mattered all that much to Jensen since the outbreak. Why would he even think about hooking up with Jared when they were running for their life more often than not? Now, of course, it was going to be all he could think about.

"Um. I guess maybe we should look for a place to stay for the night. Unless you want to push further, see how close we can get to the city limits." Jensen knew it was going to be a completely different ballgame once they made it to Austin. They'd have to stash the truck somewhere safe and make the trek on foot.

And yes, it was better to think about those trivial details then the possibility of more between them. Jensen wasn't sure he could add more to the overload that was his mind since the world ended. There was a part of him desperate for what could be though, because he'd spent two months living on his guard and he couldn't imagine something quite as amazing as real touch.

"Let's find somewhere close, for tonight. Tomorrow we'll reach the city. Tomorrow we'll deal with everything." Jared's tone was a mixture of things: excitement at what was to come, nerves for the day following, and hope.

It was that hope Jensen was most scared of. Because, he thought, it might not be there that much longer.

-===-

Jensen couldn't imagine a single seventeen year old boy that didn't think about sex, about losing their virginity. Hell, Jensen had been thinking about it for years, but he'd always thought he had plenty of time. There had never been anyone to catch his interest enough to take that step with, and then the outbreak. After that first-time sex went down on the list of important must experience things. Staying alive was the number one.

And yet, somehow, Jensen found himself here in this position, with Jared.

They'd located an abandoned farmhouse a good two hundred miles outside of Austin and gone through the usual process of barricading themselves inside a room. This particular room was on the second floor, window overlooking the porch roof. It would be prime for a quick escape should any of the walking dead make their way upstairs.

Because of the window though, they kept the lantern off and ate in darkness and silence, sitting close enough on the bed to feel the heat of each other but not touch. Jensen's heart was racing in a way he hadn't felt in a long time, in a way he never thought he would feel again. The adrenaline of running for your life, killing undead to save yourself, was nothing like this.

"Why are you alone?" Jared asked countless minutes later, pulling Jensen from his tumble of thoughts.

Jensen frowned and peered through the moonlight spilling in from the window, wondering where the question came from. "What?"

"You've kind of, mentioned it before. Something about your dad. And I was wondering... what happened? If you wanted to tell me about it." Jared shifted a little closer along the mattress until their thighs were pressed together. "It might feel good to share."

Pursing his lips, Jensen looked away, tempted to stand and cross the room. He'd just been thinking about sex, losing his virginity, and now Jared wanted to talk about that? "It won't. It's not gonna - I don't want to discuss it. Can we just talk about something else? Or not talk at all."

Jared considered him silently for a while, his expression more serious and intense than any Jensen had seen on his face so far. And even if it was dark, Jensen's gaze had adjusted enough he was pretty sure he could read the clear sympathy on the boy's features. Like he’d already guessed the story - and maybe he had, at least the majority of it. Jensen was sure it wasn't all that challenging to figure out.

For some reason the sympathy really got under his skin, though. Jensen didn't want the pity, the comforting understanding. He was Jared's damn savior and did not need to be saved in return.

In the next moment he was in motion, lurching across the mattress and crushing hard into Jared's chest. Their lips collided in a nearly painful crush, slick and constant, sliding together with enough force Jensen wasn't even all that sure it was good. But then Jared's fingers extended, brushing over his jaw in a smooth caress, and the simple gesture was enough to have Jensen pulling back and meeting the boy's eyes in the darkness.

For a long time they simply stared at each other, things passing that they could never say aloud - or maybe didn't have to - before Jensen was moving again. This time their kiss was everything opposite of the way it was before. Soft and gentle and warm and accompanied with that little spark Jensen had always thought he'd find one day. He wanted that, just like everyone did, but he'd given up any thought that it could be his.

Jensen wasn't sure how they got undressed, he could barely sense anything beyond the way their lips slid together and the heat of their skin as it brushed together. It was perfect in a way Jensen thought nothing could ever be again. Their naked bodies rolled together on the mattress as Jared pushed him back, sliding over the sheets as they swallowed each other’s moans.

"Touch me," Jared gasped into the kiss, the words barely a whisper exhaled between the part of their lips. "I need it."

When it came down to it, Jensen didn't really need much more persuading than that; he needed it too. Jensen knew the logistics of sex, he'd done his fair share of searching the subject back before, but it had certainly never been something like this before. Watching it happen was nothing compared to feeling it.

Actually, come to think of it, feeling in general was a little more overwhelming than he'd anticipated but there was no way he was turning back now.

Jared pressed a bottle into his palm - Jensen snorted a laugh, imaging Jared picking it out during one of their grocery shop excursions - and thumbed the cap open. It was begging without saying a word and at this point Jensen didn't think there was anything more to be said.

The lube was cool and slick coating his fingers and Jensen swallowed thickly as he stretched out, rubbing the tip of his finger slowly over puckered flesh. Jensen knew Jared had said he'd never done this before but he sure acted like he did, rocking eagerly back into the touch, drawing in each of Jensen's fingers with barely silenced eagerness.

"Come on, come on," Jared chanted, squirming on the bed and tugging at Jensen's hair impatiently.

Jensen wasn't all that surprised that Jared was chatty and impatient and eager for something he couldn't even be one hundred percent certain he'd like. Of course, judging by the hard length of hot flesh occasionally rubbing up against Jensen's side it wasn't all that unlikely.

This wasn't about desperation - though Jensen imagined that time would come in the future - instead it was simply affirmation. Somehow they had made it to this point, they had survived through so many odds, and the walls Jensen worked so hard to build around himself had been picked apart.

He'd never felt that more than he did at that moment, sitting back to watch his fingers breach Jared's body, knowing he was only minutes from claiming. For the first time in so very long, Jensen let himself forget about the world outside their barricaded farmhouse and lost himself in Jared alone.

The first breach into tight heated muscle was overwhelming and Jensen nearly lost control, falling over Jared's body and sliding their lips roughly together. It was as much to drown out each other’s moans as it was to connect them in every way possible. Jensen felt nearly lightheaded, thrilled, content in a way he'd given up hope on feeling.

"Jensen," Jared whispered countless minutes later, after Jensen had sank all the way forward and Jared had taken his time adjusting to the feel of being stretched.

Jensen pushed up enough to peer down at Jared, swallowing the lump rising in his throat. It wasn't even that long ago, when he wasn't even sure he could tolerate the boy, and now Jensen couldn't imagine a life without him. "I love you."

Surprise covered Jared's face for just a moment and then his smile softened, his body arched up into the touch. "I love you, too."

Maybe it was just their circumstances, how could they even say it was real? But Jensen was pretty sure none of that really mattered, not as long as they lived in this world and had each other to cling to.

Pleasure curled thick through Jensen as he pulled back and thrust forward, steadily picking up pace, keeping their lips brushing constantly. Jared never stopped moving beneath him, squirming along the mattress and rocking up into each of Jensen’s forward thrusts.

By the time his orgasm hit Jensen could barely breathe. Every breath he sucked in was full of their scent, musk and sex and nothing close to death and rot. The heat of Jared's own release spread between their bodies and their kiss deepened until Jensen wasn't sure they were two separate people any longer.

"Please don't ever leave me," Jared whispered as Jensen pulled back, falling to the side and tucking in close.

Maybe, if the world hadn't ended, he and Jared would never have been friends. They never would have met. But the dead had risen, the living barely managed to keep going, and they could cling to one another.

"Not ever," Jensen breathed and shifted just a little closer.

-===-

"Come on baby, don't fear the reaper," Jensen tried to keep the song a low murmur, his eyes sweeping up and down the road, finger curled over the trigger. His shoulders were tense and every couple of steps he kept glancing at Jared, just to be safe. Losing him now wasn't even an option. "Baby take my hand, don't fear the reaper. We'll be able to fly, don't fear the reaper. Baby I'm your man."

"Okay, seriously?" Jared stopped walking, straightening up to look at Jensen. "Are you attempting irony?"

"I can't help it. Sometimes it just happens." Jensen shrugged, bumping a little too hard into Jared's side. "I was singing that first time. When I saved your life."

"Yeah, I remember." Jared's smile slowly grew and he kept resumed walking forward, tipping his head back to start singing. Loudly. And very badly. "Oh Mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law."

At first Jensen's gaze snapped around, knowing just how much attention Jared was drawing to them, but he couldn't help the way his smile grew and he found himself joining in, singing just as loud and just as bad. "Lawman has put an end to my running and I'm so far from my home."

Jared looped their arms together and practically started skipping as he led them down the road. "Oh mama, I can hear your crying you're so scared and all alone. Hangman is comin-"

Although Jared kept singing, Jensen cut off on a strangled note, entire body tensing as he took in the incoming wave of undead. They were too loud, Jensen had known better, but Jared always had this way about pulling him in.

"Shit, come on," Jared snagged his arm and tugged hard, pulling Jensen swiftly down a back alley he wouldn't have even noticed before.

Jared knew the neighborhood well, which was - at the moment - the only good thing they had going for them. He followed Jared blindly, twisting around to fire at the zombies that staggered a little too close. The surge of adrenaline rushing through Jensen was different than all the other times - though he found it always was, given whatever situation. This time it came with the sharp spike of fear - mostly for Jared's safety. There was no way Jensen would survive if something happened to Jared because he'd been foolish enough to let them get caught up in something like bad singing.

"We have to get back to the truck!" Jensen called out, knowing that running down alleyways and firing off bullets wasn't going to do anything but draw even more undead their way.

"Wait! It's just up here!" Jared swung wide around another corner and somehow burst into another sprint like they hadn't been running for what already felt like a lifetime.

It hadn't really been that long. Jensen had run longer. But it felt like it would never end. Apparently there was some end in sight though and Jensen picked up speed, glancing swiftly over his shoulder as they managed to pull away from the oncoming zombies. They burst through the front door of a nice house - or well, Jensen assumed it was nice; he didn't really have time to consider it while spinning to slam the front door shut.

Now they were trapped, locked inside until the undead reached the house and broke the door down. Jensen glanced toward the wide front room windows then over at Jared, panting roughly. "Well this is just fucking great."

"Mom? Dad?" Jared called out, heading instantly through the house.

Jensen was almost afraid to look. He didn't think they'd find anyone - it wasn't like the zombie Padaleckis would just hang around waiting for their still-living son to come find them. He sank back against the door, sucking in quick breaths and trying to calm the way his heart was racing.

How would he comfort Jared when he found nothing? Would they just keep searching? Would they drive from town to town never finding answers and fucking on the side? Why would they even bother trying?

"Jensen!" Jared yelled from somewhere further inside, startling Jensen from his path of woe. "Jensen! Come see!"

Swallowing the newest burst of panic Jensen headed quickly down the hall, scanning briefly along the walls decorated with family pictures and typical Texan art. He skidded to a halt in the kitchen, watching as Jared dug through a stuffed-full backpack on the kitchen counter.

"Jared?" Jensen asked quietly, sliding a hesitant step forward.

"They left a note, my parents. They've taken Megan and Jeff, they say there's a safe camp, in Alabama. They tried to wait but they had to get out of here before it become impossible. And look! They left supplies!" Jared alternated between pulling out food - cans of meat, beans, even fucking peas like they had to remember to eat their vegetables - and waving around the note still grasped in his palm. "Oh! And they left keys too! To the car in the garage, so we don't have to run all the way back to the truck."

It was impossible to describe the swell of emotions suddenly colliding through Jensen. He knew he should feel relieved that Jared's family was alive, should be excited about the extra supplies and the car provided, but there was a little part of him that was steadily growing. Bitter. Jealous. Anger.

Jensen didn't have time to capitalize on the irrational emotions.

In the next moment there was a crash at the door and Jensen spun, watching as the wood strained under another hard thump. "We've got to get out of here."

"Okay, okay. Garage is through here. Just, I'll grab the supplies, I've got the map and the note. You wanna drive?" Jared hurried to pile everything in his arms, leaving Jensen to carry the pack they'd brought with them and snag Jared's gun from the countertop.

He'd drive because it was going to be a bit like bowling for undead. He wouldn't focus on those festering feelings just then, save his own sanity.

-===-

Jensen didn't how long they'd been driving in silence but it felt like days. They'd somehow managed to make it out of the city - front fender smeared with tacky dark blood and pieces of matted flesh - and to the waiting truck. It wasn't all that hard of a decision to ditch the truck - it was old and could break down at any time - and keep the car. It would get them through tighter spots, maybe help them make it safely to Alabama.

And it was a great thing - imagining a survivor camp, somewhere they could go and feel safe - but Jensen couldn't seem to stop the way his stomach was twisting and churning sickeningly.

"Alright, you want to tell me about it?" Jared finally asked - forever later, when the town was long gone and the road stretched for miles in front of them.

Jensen's grip tightened on the wheel and his teeth clenched hard together. Painfully. "I have no idea what you mean."

"Seems like you're pretty pissed. Does it really annoy you so much? Being stuck with me even longer?" Jared's voice grew quiet with the questions and he hurried on before Jensen could answer. "Because you can just go. I won't keep you here. I can make it on my own."

Jensen's foot slammed on the brake, sending Jared flying forward into the dash. He listened to the boy's hissed curse but his heart was racing and his palms were sweating and Jared was so wrong. "You really think I'm that big of a douche?"

"Fuck, I don't know! You just look like you wish my parents would have been dead! And god, what the hell am I supposed to think about that?" Jared wiped at his nose, turning slowly to look at Jensen.

It was kind of a now or never moment. Jensen just needed to lay it all out there and give Jared the rest of him. He'd given everything else, there was no point in holding back now. It was just them after all. Them and the fucking end of the world. "I had to kill my dad."

Jared blinked, inhaling slowly and exhaling, watching Jensen with an unnerving seriousness. "What?"

"When it happened. When all this shit started and things just, everything got so fucking crazy." Jensen turned away from the stare because it was too much and he didn't want Jared to see the tears pricking at his eyes. "My dad made me promise, that I wouldn't let him turn into one of them. So I. I said yes, because it seemed like an impossibility, that it would happen to him. But it did. We went out one day, to get supplies, and he just, he got bit. So I had to kill him. I had to shoot him, right in the head, I killed my fucking dad."

Jensen sucked on a shaky sob and in the next moment Jared was there, wrapping his arms around Jensen's shoulders and pulling him in for a tight hug. "Oh Jen, god, that's so- it's horrible. I'm so sorry. So, very sorry. But you spared him. You saved him from that life."

"Why couldn't it have been me? I hate this world, this shit, why are we even bothering? How do we know that when we get to Alabama we won't just find a whole dead mass waiting for us?" Jensen sank into Jared, his voice not nearly as angry and intense as he meant for it to be.

When Jared didn't get angry and defensive - which Jensen halfway expected though he knew the boy better than that - Jensen nearly collapsed the rest of the way forward. They sat in silence for a long time - too long, Jensen was putting them at risk again - until he nearly nodded off to sleep.

Finally though, before Jensen could give into his exhaustion, Jared spoke. "We're going to go there and find a home. We'll find my family and they can become yours. I'll tell them how you saved my life so many times and how I'd be so lost without you. But most importantly we'll be. And that's all that matters."

It shouldn't be enough, it shouldn't heal any of the wounds deep and present in Jensen, but he found himself smiling softly as he slowly sat back and wiped the tears from under his eyes. The idea of their future - or lack thereof - was terrifying, and still Jensen found himself nodding. "Yeah. Okay. Then let's go."

Jared leaned forward and slid a gentle kiss over Jensen's lips. "You, me, and the fucking zombies."

And the ironic thing? That didn't sound nearly as daunting as it should. "Just you and me."

The End

The Circle of Us - Jared/Jensen - NC-17

2012-12-03T16:42:18Z

The Circle of Us 5/5 - Jared/Jensen - NC-17

2012-12-02T05:56:50Z

Title: The Circle of Us 5/5
Author: anyothergirl415
Artist: bt_kady
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Christian/Sandy
Words: ~30,800
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - underage (the boys are 17), teen pregnancy, mpreg, homophobia
Summary: Jared and Jensen have been friends from Kindergarten and Jensen fell for Jared without meaning too. But coming together, sharing everything for the first time, is the least of the challenges waiting for them in the not too distant future.

A loud shrill giggle echoed from down the hallway, greeting Jared as he pushed the front door open. As far as Jared was concerned, there was no better sound to come home to and he eagerly kicked off his shoes, hanging his keys on the little wall hook Jensen had taken such care to decorate. Kind of like the rest of their apartment, that had little splashes of Jensen and Jared and Noah everywhere.

Jared loved it.

"Noah! Come back here you little Ninja!" Jensen hollered from down the hall - from the bathroom, if Jared had to guess.

Sure enough, a few seconds later the pattering of tiny feet on smooth wood trailed the continuing giggle and Jared stooped down in time to get an armful of naked, dirty, two-year-old. "Daddy!"

Jared grinned and curled his arms protective and tight around the boy, pulling him up off the floor and spinning him around. "Are you on the run little Noah? What sort of trouble have you gotten into this time?"

"Oh, you know, just about everything," Jensen sighed as he stepped into the front entryway, a smile on his face despite the way his hands were planted firmly on his hips.

Jensen was the best parent ever, there was no way for Jared to compete and that was just fine for him. After all, it took a special kind of person to stay home with their two year old and go to school online at the same time. Jared found working full time overwhelming more often than not, but mostly because he hated not having more time to spend with Jensen and Noah.

That was the deal they'd worked out, though. Jensen went to school online, using leftover money from his student loans toward their expenses. And Jared worked full time at a call center, which wasn't the most stimulating work but it paid well enough. Somehow, against all the odds and all the people who didn't think they could do it, they were managing to make it work. Jared wanted to stick his tongue out in a classic haaa but that went against the maturity proving actions so he resisted.

"How was work?" Jensen stepped forward, pushing up to press a kiss to Jared's lips and trailing fingers down his arm. "Get hung up on today?"

"Nope, not even once. You know what Mama says; even my voice can warm the hardest of hearts." Jared grinned and held Noah up, his hands tucked securely beneath the boy's arms as he considered the chocolatey mess smeared over his son's chubby cheeks. Even his blonde hair - that he'd gotten from Jensen, along with the good majority of his facial features and just about everything but his eyes - had some chocolate smeared between the locks.

"I eat pudding Daddy! Da said I good boy!" Noah clapped his hands happily, wiping the sticky mess of his fingers over Jared's forearms moments later.

Jared arched his brows and looked over at Jensen who was no longer looking annoyed, just amused even as he shrugged. "It got him to eat all the fish sticks."

"Ah, bribery, we're advancing in our parenting techniques." Jared laughed and pulled Noah close again, heading quickly down the hall. If he'd learned one thing over the last couple of years, it was never leave Noah naked for very long. Not unless he wanted to clean pee out of the carpet or off the wall or - like that one time shortly after Noah's second birthday - out of their bed sheets.

"I am a full believer in using whatever method works." Jensen trailed after him, turning on the faucet as Jared lowered Noah into the tub.

For a while, they sat simply watching Noah, listening to his barely understandable babble, laughing as he splashed through the bubbles. Jared rested his hand on Jensen's thigh, enjoying the comfort and peace that settled between them in moments like these.

He hadn't always known they would make it. There were times - like in the beginning, with all the sleepless nights and the complete lack of money - that Jared thought everything would just fall apart. But somehow they'd powered through, with the never-ending help of their friends and Mama, and the place they'd reached now was just about as perfect as it could possibly be.

"Mackenzie came by today," Jensen said a while later, grinning when Noah held up a boat and proudly declared what it was. "Yes baby, that's a boat."

"How's she doing? And... the family?" It was always a sensitive issue, Jensen's family, but Jared knew they couldn't just pretend they didn't exist. Jensen's parents might have been okay taking the ignorance route but Jensen always tried to be just a little bit better than that.

Which didn't really make it any easier, judging from the sad smile on Jensen's face. "Mackenzie is good. She says Mom and Dad are too. She told them about the party next week but apparently they had plans."

Truthfully, Jared didn't want Jensen's parents to come over, especially not for his birthday party, but he knew why Jensen kept inviting him. Just like he kept sending pictures of Noah, of them, trying to involve them even when they'd made it plenty clear they had no desire to be involved with their family. It was the same reason Jensen had said he was taking Jared's last name when they married, it was all about principles in Jensen's mind and Jared could respect that.

"Well she'll be there right?" Jared smiled up at Jensen, leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth when the man nodded. "That's all we need. Well that, and Mama. Plus the gang is all in town, it'll be just like the good ol' times."

“Only with Noah, which makes it better." Jensen caught Jared's collar before he could move away, tugging him in to kiss him deeply.

In the tub, Noah splashed a little harder, spraying them in water and laughing excitedly. Their kiss broke and they joined in the laughter, turning as one to gather up the towel and their boy. They worked together well, a practiced routine getting him dressed - hair brushed, face washed - and tucked into his bed.

Like they did every night, Jared and Jensen sung lullabies together, brushing Noah's hair back from his forehead, pressing kisses to his temple and cheeks. It was one of Jared's favorite times of the day, listening to Noah join in on the singing even if he could never get the words right and seeing the love reflected in Jensen's eyes as he gaze down at their little boy.

This was never the way Jared had pictured his life, but he would never change a moment of it.

After they'd quietly closed the bedroom door - nightlight on, music box playing - Jared was ready to spend the evening with his Jensen. He trailed along after the man to the kitchen, trailing his fingers down Jensen's arm in gentle caresses.

"Have you been working on this?" Jared stopped as they entered the kitchen, peering down at the scrapbook spread out on the counter. It was the same one Jensen had given him for his seventeenth birthday, and just the sight of it made his heart flutter.

"When Noah naps, yeah. We have all these pictures, I feel like if I don't catch up now I never will." Jensen shrugged, tugging the fridge open to start preparing an evening snack for Jared.

Because Jensen was just amazing like that. "You're amazing. I have no idea why you're still with me."

"Eh, the sex is pretty good." Jensen smirked his way, kicking the fridge closed and slowly leaning against the counter. "So um... I've been thinking..."

"About?" Jared never knew what to expect from Jensen, which was part of the reason they worked so well. He reached out to snag a piece of turkey from the container, grinning as he fell back in his chair.

"How you feel about having another kid?" Jensen kept his gaze down in that carefully calculated way, that way that said he'd already made his mind up and knew just what he wanted.

And, yeah, maybe Jared had never planned on being barely twenty years old and planning for a second child but life never worked the way he thought it would. That was kind of the best thing about it. "Can we start trying now?"

Jensen grinned and Jared was plenty happy to chase him down the hall to their bedroom.

-The End-

Master Post
Art Master Post

The Circle of Us 4/5 - Jared/Jensen - NC-17

2012-12-02T05:54:31Z

Title: The Circle of Us 4/5
Author: anyothergirl415
Artist: bt_kady
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Christian/Sandy
Words: ~30,800
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - underage (the boys are 17), teen pregnancy, mpreg, homophobia
Summary: Jared and Jensen have been friends from Kindergarten and Jensen fell for Jared without meaning too. But coming together, sharing everything for the first time, is the least of the challenges waiting for them in the not too distant future.

The shocked silence was almost familiar by this point and Jensen closed his eyes because he really wasn't sure he could handle another explosion. Between his parents, the horrible fight at Jared's house, and the stern lectures he'd been hearing almost constantly since the news had broken the weekend before. It was Jensen's first day back - and maybe one of his last there with his friends, and Jared who he hadn't spoken to in days - and the tension between the group was thick.

Jared wasn't even looking at him as they sat around the lunch table, head ducked down, shoulders hunched. For some reason Jensen had thought they'd be okay when he finally got the chance to talk with his boyfriend but he hadn't been able to get the boy alone since he stepped onto the school ground.

Now things were about to get crazy all over again and Jensen pressed his palm flat to his stomach - an action that was more and more common lately - hoping he wouldn't get sick before learning whether his friends hated him or not. God he couldn't handle losing his friends on top of everything, Jensen wasn't even sure how he was still hanging on.

"Wow..." Danneel finally breathed after the group had taken several long minutes to let the confession sink it.

I'm pregnant. It certainly wasn't any easier to say.

"What are you guys going to do?" Sandy asked quietly and Jensen glanced up long enough to see Chris' arm wrap around the girl's shoulder.

It made him smile and for just a moment, he felt warmed, like there was really hope for this entire horrible situation if Chris had somehow realized he and Sandy were meant to be. Maybe he and Jared could come up with some way to have their baby and not destroy everything else in the process.

"Jensen doesn't want to keep the baby," Jared spat and well, maybe Jensen's thoughts had really just been wishful thinking.

Tears pricked along his eyelids - damn his emotions were crazy lately - and he slowly fixed his gaze on his boyfriend, heart sinking. "Jared..."

"You didn't even fight for it Jensen! Your parents are just going to send you away, they'll make you give the baby up and they won't let you see me. And you're just letting them do all of that! You don't even care." Jared slammed his palm hard on the tabletop, the noise echoing in the wake of his outburst.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jensen could see the shock on their friends' faces and he wondered briefly if they were struggling to adjust to the blows just as Jensen himself was. "Do you honestly think that's how I feel?"

"Why would you just not call? God, I saw you that day Jensen, you were sad but determined. You'd already made up your mind!" Jared pressed both hands flat on the table this time and pushed up to his feet, storming off before the group could even catch up with what was happening.

Jensen felt that wave of sickness of all over again and bile crawled up his throat, tears burning sharper along his eyes. In the next beat, Jensen was up and moving, running without even thinking about it. He could vaguely hear the sound of someone calling his name but he needed to get as far away as possible before he lost whatever food he managed to stomach so far that day.

"Oh, Jen..." Danneel sighed softly, stooping down beside Jensen where he'd finally collapsed in the grass of the football field. She rubbed his back soothingly as he choked on vomit and tears, the worst kind of mixture. "It's going to be okay. It will, somehow. And it's okay, to not want the baby, there's nothing wrong with that."

“But I do!" Jensen snapped and sat back, wiping at his mouth with the back of his mouth. "Fuck Dani, I want the baby and I want Jared. My parents just- they'll disown me, they'll kick me out and I'll live on the damn streets if I decide to keep it. They took my cell phone and they keep me confined to my room. Fuck, they're going to send me to a private school for knocked up kids to keep me from being with Jared."

"Holy shit," Danneel blinked, glancing up as Chad, Chris, and Sandy gathered and knelt around them.

There was a scowl bigger than any Jensen had ever seen on Chris' face and his face was flushed red with anger. "You will not live on the streets. You will come and stay in my room before that happens."

"Or mine," Chad added and both Sandy and Danneel nodded quickly.

A faint smile tugged at Jensen's lips and he fell forward, pulling them in for a group hug. "I want to stay with Jared honestly, no offense."

"Yeah well, once he gets his head out of his ass." Chris sighed, shaking his head. "Want me to kick some sense into him? Or, I could just kick your parents. Please let me beat them up."

"Pretty sure that won't solve anything." Jensen sniffed as he sat back, wiping at the tears under his eyes. "I need to really stand up to them, don't I? I need to just... take the risk because Jared, and the baby, it's worth it?"

The idea terrified him - Jensen had never been the type to stand up to his parents, he'd never really gotten into trouble like this before - but there was a slow determination building in him. When he looked up, his friends looked solemn but just as determined, nodding and reaching out to take his hand, touch his arm.

"We'll stick with you and support you and Jared. No matter what happens okay?" Sandy looped her arm around Jensen's shoulder, squeezing him close. "I promise you boys will get your happily ever after."

Jensen turned into the hug and dropped his voice to a low murmur. "Like you and Chris?"

When Sandy pulled back, there was a brilliant grin on her lips and that was enough hope to keep Jensen going.

It was hard to stay angry at Jensen, even when it felt like his heart was breaking and like he might never be able to feel whole again. Jared missed everything about his boyfriend, his best friend, the boy carrying the child he would never get the chance to meet. The only way Jared could handle anything was by avoiding Jensen - and consequently their friends - and try to keep from bursting into spontaneous tears.
But it had somehow worked. Jared had held on, and he had never been more ready for a holiday break. Thanksgiving was usually a pretty quiet time at their house - just him and Mama and Jensen there to share in the leftovers. The Holiday breaks also usually meant loads of time hanging out, relaxing, with Jensen.

Jared felt the lack of his presence like the hole that had been growing in his heart.

"Jared, are you going to be okay?" Mama asked a couple of days into the break. A week off school, Jared should be lounging around in his sweats with bowls of ice cream and bags of chips, drinking soda and watching horror movies.

But Jared couldn't seem to do any of that without Jensen there, and even the thought of a Thanksgiving feast the next day wasn't enough to cheer him up. "I don't know Mama. This is... it's worse than just losing Jensen. There's this life growing inside the man I'm in love with, and that baby is a part of me and I will never get to know him or her. It's not fair and I don't know how to get past that."

"I know right now it seems hopeless Jared, and I'm sure it feels like your heart is breaking, but don't give up yet okay? There's still time for things to change." Mama stepped closer, brushing her fingers soothingly through his hair. "Now, wipe off that frown and come help me peel some potatoes for tomorrow."

Jared found himself smiling despite the ache in his chest and he followed Mama willingly into the kitchen. They chatted about safe and normal topics - classes, work, upcoming movies they wanted to see - while peeling potatoes and apples and getting things ready for the feast Mama always made on Thanksgiving. No matter how few people she had to cook for, she always seemed to go above and beyond.

It was easy to relax and not feel so overwhelmingly crushed with Mama around and Jared found himself finally enjoying break. He was mid-laugh when the doorbell rang and his actions hesitated, brows lifted.

"My hands are covered in flour honey; go see who that is." Mama turned to the sink and Jared wiped his own hands on a dishrag as he headed for the front door.

Maybe it shouldn't have been that big of a surprise to see Jensen standing on the other side of the door, but for some reason it hit him like a slap to the face. It had only been about a week and a half since he'd learned about the pregnancy but it felt like an entire lifetime. Their whole relationship felt like that, as if they'd gotten onto some crazy roller coaster and somehow crash collided here.

Jared wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to slam the door in Jensen's face or step forward and pull him close. In the end, that building desperation sparked through Jared and there was really no choice but to follow his gut. Reaching out, Jared snagged Jensen's collar and tugged him in, holding him close like he'd been longing to from the moment he'd learned about the baby.

A harsh sob shook between them, Jensen clutching to him tighter than he ever had, and Jared struggled to pull the boy inside. He had no idea why Jensen was here - maybe something had happened to the baby, the thought alone made him sick - but in the end no matter how upset he was with Jensen, he would never turn the boy away.

"Jared, help him sit down, I'll get some water," Mama's voice was soothing the part of Jared that was pretty close to a freak out.

It took a few minutes to get Jensen situated on the couch, tucked against his side and clinging to his shirt even as sipped from the water Mama had pressed into his palm. Every time Jensen hiccupped on a sob Jared's grip tightened, his heart still beating a little too quick.

"Jen?" He finally murmured when his curiosity got the best of him. "What happened? Are you okay? Is the baby...?"

"I'm okay, we are, the baby and me." Jensen sat back and met Jared's eyes, probably realizing what Jared did at the same moment. They'd never really discussed the baby. Jensen had let his parents rant about it and Jared had yelled about it at school the week before but this wasn't really those things.

Jared wasn't sure what to make of it and he hesitated just a moment before reaching out, gently brushing his fingers over Jared's flat stomach. "What's going on?"

"I want to keep the baby." Jensen exhaled the words in a rush, his gaze dropping as he caught Jared's fingers beneath his own, pressing them flush to his stomach. "I don't want to give the baby away, or go to some stupid school, or not even talk to you. God more than anything I want that but I don't know what will happen when I tell my parents and I don't think I can go through that alone."

This time the way Jared's heart was racing felt heady and thick, quick thumps against his ribcage that had his palms sweating and his lips parting. It was the best thing he'd ever heard, knowing Jensen wanted to keep their baby, and even the worry of how the Ackles might react couldn't shake that. He didn't know how to respond outside pulling Jensen in again, holding him tight and pressing a kiss firmly to his lips.

"We'll help you Jensen," Mama murmured a few minutes later and Jared pulled back from the almost desperate kiss, hearing the sniffles in her words. "We'll go to your parents together and explain how you feel and how you aren't backing down from that. If they accept it then great, you can stay with them. If they don't... if they still want you to go... then you'll come live here with us."

Jared's gaze snapped from Jensen to Mama, his eyes wide as he sat back and tried to figure out if she was serious. "Really? Mama? You'd let him stay here with me? With us?"

“Jared, honestly, you know Jensen is like my second boy. And that's my grandbaby he's carrying, there's no way I'm letting him spend even a single night on the street." Mama beamed at them both, pushing up to stand a moment later. "I really do hope they'll come around though Jensen. I know that this... it's going to be hard. But you'll never have to be alone, I promise you."

"Do we have to go now?" Jensen clutched Jared's hand in his, reaching out to set the glass down on the coffee table as they stood.

Mama looked sadly at Jensen, and Jared tried to hold him just a little closer like he could keep his boyfriend from the crap that was likely to follow. "Probably best to get it over with, before your parents can go through with finding a school for you. They need to understand how serious you are about this decision."

"I'm scared," Jensen whispered, turning in to speak against Jared's shoulder.

It was horrible of Jared but a part of him kind of hoped Jensen's parents freaked out. He wanted Jensen with him all the time. He wanted to be there to brush fingers through Jensen's hair while he struggled with morning sickness. He wanted to measure the way his stomach grew and feel the baby kick. He wanted them and that was the only thing that seemed to matter.

By the time they pulled up to his street Jensen was sure he was going to be sick again. His fingers clasped tightly to Jared's, his stomach churning and his heart racing. There was no doubt in his mind that he was making the right decision but he was pretty sure no matter how much Mama hoped, there was no way this was going to play out well for his family.

"I'm going to let you do the talking, Jensen," Mama said soft and gentle as they pulled into the driveway in front of his house. "But if you feel like you need an extra hand, someone to explain things from a different perspective, you just let me know."

Jensen would much rather have Mama do all the talking but he knew in the end it had to come from him. He'd let his parents speak for him all his life; for once he needed to do what he felt was best, and that meant no longer hiding his relationship and choosing to keep the child he already loved in ways he couldn't even explain.

He'd snuck out before, needing to get to Jared because of the all too real threat of his impending future at a boarding school for knocked up teenagers. Life this last week and a half without Jared was hard enough. So, he'd left without his parents knowing and apparently his absence had been noted since.

Both his parents were there now, standing in the living room and watching with narrowed eyes and arms folded across their chests. Jensen had a hard time getting himself to step forward, even with Jared's arm curled around his waist and Mama's hand resting on his shoulder.

"What is this, Jensen?" His mom asked, her voice tense and her gaze fixed completely on him. "What do you think you're doing?"

"We grounded you to your room for a reason! How could you go against that?" His dad's face was redder than Jensen had ever seen it; the flush of anger so intense Jensen had to step back and press up against Jared's side.

On the other side of him Mama inhaled, obviously ready to fight on his behalf, but something about the way Jared reassuringly squeezed him sent a burst of confidence through him. He had to fight this battle on his own, for himself, to prove he was making the right decision. He was mature and strong enough to handle this conversation - mature and strong enough to be a parent.

"I want to keep the baby," Jensen said quietly, listening as his mom inhaled, before tensing his shoulders and continuing. "I want to keep our baby. I want us to be together and have a family. I realize I'm young but that doesn't mean I can't have a future. I can go to school, Jared and I can work, we'll get a place and we'll provide for our child."

Jensen risked a glance up, though that probably wasn't the wisest. His parent's faces were expressionless, hard and cold and fixed on Jensen like he was spewing out the most disgusting filth they'd ever heard. There was a lump in his throat and Jensen didn't think he'd be able to continue but he somehow found his voice.

"I would really like you to be part of our life. I would- I want you there, as the grandparents for our child. It would mean the world to me." Tears were streaming down his cheeks now and Jensen swallowed thickly and made himself look up and face his parents. "But if you can't, that's okay. I won't force you, but you can't force me to make the decision you want. Even if that means I can't live here anymore."

"And where exactly do you think you'll go?" His mom finally snapped, spitting the words like they were venom.

Jensen hadn't anticipated them reacting very well but this cold hatred was something far harsher than expected. He wasn't entirely sure if it had to do more with the fact that he was pregnant or the fact that he wasn't backing down on the whole gay issue as they called it.

It was funny - in a crushing way - learning how two people who had raised you could shove you away so easily. Jensen didn't think they'd come around and actually let him stay but he hadn't thought he'd be turned out without any argument on the matter either.

"If you don't want him staying here with you, then I am more than willing to take Jensen in. We have a room for the baby, until Jared and Jensen get their own place," Mama stepped in, taking over when Jensen really couldn't get any other words out.

"Well, that's just great, isn't it?" Dad snapped, finally dropping his head pose and spinning sharply away. "No money. You'll get fucking nothing from us, you hear me? If you want to throw away your life, then you can do it without us. We never want you in this house again."

With that, the man left the room, not even bothering to look over his shoulder. Jensen's knees weakened and threatened to give, like the sight of his dad leaving was a loss physical enough to draw out his strength. Jared supported him easily though and Jensen had never been so grateful.

Especially when his mom stepped forward, tears glistening in her eyes. "I wish you could understand what a bad choice you're making, wish you could see how you're throwing your life away. Go pack your things."

Ironically, if it hadn't been for her words Jensen might not have felt strong enough to head to his room and gather his things. But she was wrong, so wrong, and Jensen knew then without a doubt that he was making the right choice. Being with Jared, having their child, was not throwing his life away. Maybe it wasn't the life he'd always imagined he'd have but it would still be amazing, with Jared there at his side.

"I love you," Jared whispered as they headed down the hall to his room for presumably the last time.

Jensen smiled over at his boyfriend and squeezed his hand. "I love you too."

There would never be anything that could compare to the first time Jared heard their baby's heartbeat.

Honestly, Jared wasn't really sure how they'd managed to make it to this point. The first couple of weeks Jared would constantly be searching Jensen out, only to find the boy curled up under the blankets crying over the loss of his family. He always held it together in front of their friends and Mama, but Jared saw him at his worst.

He never thought Jensen would accept what had happened and move on, not even as his pregnancy progressed and their first semester at school drew to a close. Things shifted slightly as Christmas approached, the times between spontaneous crying outbursts lengthened, and Jensen began counting down to their first doctor's appointment.

It was easy to support Jensen; he loved the boy more than life itself, but he was glad to think things might be getting better. After all, there wasn't much he could say to justify just how horrible Jensen's parents had been, especially not when Jared was really just relieved and excited to have Jensen there with him 24/7.

"Man, I will not miss morning sickness." Jensen twitched the hospital gown over his thighs, kicking his legs along the side of the table and grinning at Jared. "Bet you won't miss hearing me throw up in the bathroom each morning."

“I don't know - you're kind of adorable when you get all woobie." Jared shot a smirk over at Jensen then turned back to the counter, poking at the pregnancy display set up there. The plastic model shook under his touch and the little baby fell out, clattering along the counter and causing a snort to fall from Jensen.

"Comforting. You nervous?"

When Jared fumbled - and failed - to get the plastic baby back in place, he turned and found Jensen holding a hand out toward him, soft smile on his lips. Jared stepped in and took his boyfriend's hand, laying his free one over the barely there swell of Jensen's stomach. "Excited mostly. I'm just... it's been a long few weeks - learning about this and everything with your parents - I was honestly worried we wouldn't get here. But I'm so glad we have."

"I knew we'd get here. It's saccharine, I know, but I think you and I will always make it to that wonderful place." Jensen's smile was soft and warm, pleasant enough to make Jared's heart swell in the absolutely best way.

Before he could respond, there was a knock on the door and their doctor came in. Mama had wanted to be there - she practically begged for it - but he and Jensen had decided this first official appointment was one best to have alone. Sure, Jensen had gone in before and taken an official pregnancy test and everything, but it really felt like this moment was going to change everything.

"Alright, you boys ready to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time?" The doctor smiled at each of them as she crossed the room to Jensen.

And that first moment, hearing their baby's heartbeat for the first time, Jared realized just how much his world really was going to change. There was a brilliant smile on his boyfriend's face, a warm glow to his skin, and Jared's chest ached in the best possible way.

"Don't suppose you could tell us what we're having yet?" Jensen asked the doctor as the steady thump-thump of the heartbeat cut off.

The doctor laughed and waved her fingers over Jensen's stomach before he could pull the gown back down. "If I had to guess, I'd say it's either a boy or a girl."

Jared laughed as Jensen rolled his eyes, the smile on his face growing as Jared caught his hand in a tight squeeze.

"My feet look like balloons." Jensen frowned down at his feet, kicking them together slowly and falling back on the grass with a sigh.

"Hey, think of it this way, at least spring came early this year; now you don't have to try and stuff those balloons into tennis shoes anymore." Danneel smirked and rolled toward him on the hill, picking at pieces of grass and scattering them over the swell of Jensen's stomach.

There was no denying he was pregnant now. At almost twenty weeks, Jensen had grown completely out of his jeans and tight t-shirts. He could still get away with wearing Jared's sweats and baggy shirts but Mama had insisted, as an early birthday present, that he pick out some maternity wear. His feet seemed to have grown the biggest, though, and it was weird.

In a good way.

"And at least you can see your feet," Sandy offered, just about as helpful as Danneel, and rolled in to help the other girl decorate his belly in grass.

"You two suck," Jensen sighed wearily, rolling his head to the side to watch Chris tackle Jared into the field off in the distance. "Oh, baby's moving around. You feel it?"

"No! I wanna feel!" Danneel quickly pressed her hand flat on the roundness of his belly, Sandy's hand joining hers a moment later. "How strange... was that it? Feels like it's not there."
"Ghost touches." Jensen closed his eyes, a dreamy smile on his lips. "That's what Jared calls them. Baby likes playing with him."

He didn't even have to open his eyes to know both girls had that aww expression on their face. They got it a lot lately. Like whenever Jared went out of his way to carry Jensen's book or his lunch tray, or when he gave Jensen an extra cookie - or apple, if he insisted on being better for the baby. And it was sweet, so Jensen didn't blame them. Jared always knew how to take care of him. He was amazing like that.

"We get to know what we're having soon right?" Sandy asked, tucking up against Jensen's side, her head on his shoulder and hand resting on his belly.

The smile on Jensen's face grew and he wrapped his arms around Sandy and Danneel, pulling both in close. "Yes. And then we'll decorate our baby's room and get ready to bring baby home."

There was a steady tap, tap, tap as the heel of his shoe hit the linoleum floor over and over. It was the only sound echoing inside the room outside his quick breath and the gentle rustle of clothing. The silence would maybe be deafening if Jared's thoughts weren't so busy racing around in his brain.

"If it's a boy can we name him Hamish?" Jensen asked in a quiet mumble and it was the perfect distraction from Jared's potential freak out.

It wasn't like he didn't know they were going to have a baby - they were halfway there - but it kept hitting him at random times. All the things they needed, all the books that talked about handling the adjustment, all the responsibilities and changes and planning. That on top of keeping up on schoolwork and trying to land a job to help with their future and Jared was a little unstable. Just a little.

So the joke - lord, Jared hoped it was a joke - was a welcome distraction. "And if it's a girl?"

"Hmm. Rapunzel? Or maybe... Boo Boo." Jensen was relaxed back on the hospital bed, fingers grazing over the swell of his belly, and he let his head fall to the side to smirk at Jared. "We can call her Honey Boo Boo."

“Bite your tongue." Jared scrunched his face up before grinning at his boyfriend, shifting closer to grasp the boy's hand. "Okay so I know you say you'll be happy with either but tell me the truth, what do you really want? You have to have a preference."

Jensen laughed and shook his head, squeezing Jared's hand tightly. "I really, really don't. Believe me. A girl, well, she'd be our Princess. We'd spoil her rotten, dress her up, and make her shine. A boy, he'd be just as much the center of our world. You could teach him to toss a ball around; we could play in the dirt. And we could dress him up just as much. So either way, I will be perfectly happy."

Sometimes Jared didn't know how Jensen did it, remained so calm about something so major. Mama suggested it had to do with reality being something constantly pressing on Jensen. He had to accept the idea of being a parent from the moment life began growing in him and Jared maybe wouldn't believe it was real until the first time he held that brand new baby in his arms.

"Putting it that way, I can kind of see the benefits to either." Jared tried not to hope for one or the other but he was leaning toward a boy. Mostly because he wasn't sure he would know how to take care of a girl, but he would love the baby no matter what.

"Okay I'm here; I didn't miss anything did I?" Mama burst through the door in a wave of balloons and that sweet flowery perfume she'd worn as far back as Jared could remember.

Jared sat back and tilted his head at Mama, a smile twitching on his lips. "You do realize this is just an ultrasound right? He's not actually having the baby right now."

"Oh, hush you. This is just a good luck omen. I've got a dozen pink and a dozen blue, whichever sex the baby is we let go into the sky, like wishing for a safe and healthy delivery." Mama shifted the balloons and her purse, somehow managing to juggle all the items as she settled into a chair in the corner.

"What do we do with the other ones then? Hand them out to random kids in the park?" Jensen huffed a laugh and Jared just about missed the snort rising in his throat.

"No, those we take home and I'll bring them into the kids tomorrow at work." Mama was clearly not amused by how funny Jared and Jensen found this entire situation.

Thankfully, they were saved from any scolding by the ultrasound technician stepping into the room. She glanced strangely at the balloons but Jared had a feeling it wasn't the oddest thing she'd seen in the room so she didn't comment, explaining instead how the process of the ultrasound would work.

Jared was surprised by how much the baby had grown since the last ultrasound they'd had. Back then, the baby was just a strange little flutter on a blue screen, barely even a definable shape, and even though Jared had seen Jensen's belly growing, this outline of their child made his heart lurch.

His hand clutched tightly to Jensen's as they watched, the awe and wonder enough to bring the prick of tears to both their eyes. And Jared could hear his Mama's sniffing so they weren't the only ones moved. Jared could see the round head, the little fingers and toes - he counted all twenty as best he could with the baby's movements - perfect tiny little form in static blue and gray.

"Would you like to know what you're having?" The technician asked a few minutes later after printing several pictures and telling them about the baby's current weight and size.

"Yes please," Jensen said in a rush and Jared grinned, reaching out to wipe away the tears on his boyfriend's cheeks.

"Okay let's just see if we can get baby to play nice and let us see," the technician muttered and Jared's smile grew impossibly wide. The idea of their child already being ornery sounded just about right. "Ah there we go. Looks like you have an already squirmy little boy on your hands. Congratulations."

Jared couldn't get the smile off his face, not when Jensen kept asking to make sure the technician was sure or when Mama started laughing then burst into happy tears.

And especially not when they stepped outside a good twenty minutes later; he tipped his head back to watch the dozen blue balloons float up to the sky, well wishes for their son. Jared looped his arm around Jensen's shoulder and held him close, deciding life was pretty much perfect.

"Hello! Are you guys paying attention? Stop flinging the paintbrush around, Chad; you'll get blue on the carpet! Honestly, am I the only mature one in this room?" Sandy huffed loudly, tapping her pencil on the notebook in her arm.

Jared shared a private smirk with Chris before the boy crossed the room to his girlfriend and stooped down to press a gentle kiss to her lips. "Chad's an idiot baby. And don't worry, we're paying attention."

"Well, I should hope so. We need to make a decision." Sandy didn't sound near as upset as she had just moments before and had to marvel - like he always did - over Chris' power when it came to his girlfriend.

Of course, Jensen had a pretty damn crazy power over him now. Like now, when his gaze shifted across the room and settled on Jensen, one hand curled around the handle of a paintbrush, the other pressed into the beautiful rounded swell of his belly. At nearly eight months, Jensen was bigger than Jared thought possible, and he was the most beautiful thing Jared had ever laid eyes on.

"So get on with it, what's made it to the top?" Danneel spoke around a mouthful of stencils, pulling each out one at a time to show Jensen.

Jared had his own set of stencils, already taped up to the dry blue wall, ready to be painted over. The nursery was coming along; between all the gifts they'd gotten from their friends and Mama - who was spoiling her first Grandson far too much already - Jared was pretty sure they wouldn't need any new clothes for years. But people kept insisting he'd be surprised how quickly they went through everything so it was hard to say.

"Alright we've got Jasper, Eric and my personal favorite, William." Sandy slid her finger down the list, calling out an assortment of other names Jared wasn't paying attention to.

In truth, Jared didn't think any of the names they had on the list thus far really fit. He was sure once he heard it, he would know, but then Jensen felt the same way and Jared wasn't entirely sure it would work that way. What if no name ever sounded right? It wasn't like naming a pet or something. This was the name their child would be stuck with for the rest of his life.

It could make or break him and he might hate them or love them for it someday. Jared didn't even know where to begin.

"You just like William because you've got some obsession with the Royals," Jensen said over his shoulders, shooting Sandy a smirk then turning to look at more stencils. "Eric isn't right. I still think we should go with Hamish."

"We are not going with Hamish. I can't even imagine the names he'd get called." Jared abandoned his own stencils and crossed the room, looping his arms around his boyfriend and laying his palms protectively over Jensen's belly. "What about Bastion?"

"As in Sebastian? Under the Sea? Or Bach?" Danneel scrunched her nose up, red hair flying as she shook her head. "Maddison?"

“Not butch enough. He's already going to inheriting all of Jensen's dramatic tendencies, that's enough for the poor kid." Chris smirked, hissing when Sandy smacked his arm.

"He's going to be the best baby ever and you already love him no use denying. What about Alexander? Provides a wide assortment of nicknames."

“Too common." Jensen shook his head, leaning back into Jared's touch. "We could do some combination of our names, like Jaysen or um, Jenrad."

It was quiet for a minute and even Jared couldn't help pulling back enough to meet his boyfriend's gaze with raised brows. They all exploded into laughter after that and Jared tugged Jensen in as much as he could, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Pretty sure Jenrad is a flat out no."

"What about Noah?" Chad's suggestion was quiet and the first one he'd made in this current round of name debating. It was a pretty common past time for them as of late.

"Noah," Jensen repeated, slowly pulling back from Jared and turning to look over at Chad, a smile growing slowly on his face. "Yes, that's absolutely perfect."

When Jensen looked up to him with questioning eyes Jared slowly grinned and nodded, pressing a hard kiss to Jensen's temple before bouncing across the room and scooping Chad up. "I can't believe it, all these months of debating and you've found us the perfect name. Chad, you're a genius."

"I wouldn't go quite that far but it is a beautiful name." Sandy beamed at them, scrawling presumably the name Noah across the bottom of the notepad.

"Our little Noah." Danneel sorted through the stencils, laying out the right letters on the changing station in front of her.

"Our Noah," Jared repeated in a whisper, sliding his fingers over Jensen's stomach once more.

The crowd was thick and Jensen was waddling more than anything else, so trying to make any headway was almost impossible. Especially when his gaze kept snapping one way then the other, desperately searching for people he knew weren't going to be there. But he kept hoping and he thought maybe if he looked long enough...

"Jensen!" Mackenzie's call rang through the crowd and Jensen's grin grew.

Knowing his sister had managed to come - probably against their parents’ wishes - made something warm in him and it had nothing to do with the early summer heat and the graduation robe he was currently stuck in. "Mack! It's so good to see you."

"Holy crap, look how big you are! That is most definitely a Padalecki baby growing in there." Mackenzie laughed, hugging him as much as possible with his large belly stuck between them.

"Hell yeah it is." Jared's arm dropped heavily down on Jensen's shoulder, tugging him in and pressing a kiss to his temple. "Our little Noah is going to be a Quarterback from birth."

Jensen hooked his arm around Jared's middle, a laugh rising up in his throat. Even though he was happy to see his sister, he couldn't help looking past her, hoping though he probably shouldn't that his parents might step through the crowd. He, Jared and Mama had discussed it a lot over the last few days, knowing he shouldn't get his hopes up, but his high school graduation only happened once, he thought maybe they could put the bad stuff behind them.

"They wouldn't come, Jen..." Mackenzie said softly, apparently reading into the hopeful look on his face.

He tried not to let his disappointment show, but by the way Jared squeezed him a little tighter, he was pretty sure it was obvious. "I understand. I guess I kind of thought... oh well. I'm so glad you could make it. I was hoping I'd be able to see you before Noah was born."

“I wouldn't have missed it for anything, even if I had to walk in this ungodly heat." Mackenzie grinned at him, producing a bag from behind her back a moment later. "I brought a gift for Noah. Sorry for missing the shower, I wanted to come but I- I just couldn't."

"That's okay, we know you tried Mack." Jared reached out, ruffling Mackenzie's hair.

Jensen decided to shrug off any lingering disappointments regarding his parents - he knew he should have let it go and moved on months ago - and stepped in to hug Mackenzie once more. "Thank you so much Mack. I'm so happy to see you. And after I have Noah, I hope you'll come by then too. I really want you to be part of the baby's life."

"Of course, I will. I'm going to be the best Aunt ever and there's no one who could possibly stop me." Mackenzie pulled back, beaming at Jensen and poking at the gift once more. "Now come on, open it up, and let's go sit down. Pretty sure not even Jared is strong enough to support your weight if you pass out."

"Hey now, I will support my man and our baby, I am Superman." Jared grinned, throwing his arms around Jensen and Mackenzie and guiding them easily through the crowd.

Like with all male pregnancies, the date for Jensen's delivery was scheduled in advance. That didn't make the moment any easier for Jared and didn't keep him from freaking out as the moment approached. The day of, Jared was up at four am, racing around the nursery to make sure they had everything, which they did - diapers, wipes, enough onesies Noah could be changed three times a day and they wouldn't need to do laundry for a month. Then he was back in their room, sorting through Jensen's hospital bag even though it'd been packed for weeks.

By the time they were checking into the hospital for the C-section, Jared was more nervous than Jensen, and he wasn't even the one going under the knife. Jensen smiled fondly at him, touching his hand and kissing him softly, reassuring him, and Mama was already in tears so Jared was pretty sure it was just going to be an emotional day all around.

The worst part was the small space in time in which they had to take Jensen in back to prep him for the operation and Jared had to wait to join. He paced the floor then, ignoring Mama's calming talk. Jared didn't want to be calm. He just wanted Jensen, and their baby, and the reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

Seeing Jensen on the operating table sent a sick sort of dread through Jared. He knew the Doctors and nurses could handle the surgery, it wasn't even that unusual now-a-days, but he still couldn't help worrying.

"Jay, I'm fine, little queasy but Noah's almost here. He's almost ours." Jensen beamed up at Jared, reaching out to take his hand.

Jared couldn't watch, could only meet Jensen's gaze and count the minutes until the one that would matter the most - the one that would officially start them on this brand new journey.

"I love you so much," Jared murmured and it hit him hard at that moment, just how very much he did love Jensen. They'd come so far in such a short time but then again, it was almost like they'd been traveling to this point from the very beginning. All those years ago, when they'd met as little boys, it was as if destiny stepped in and took over.

Which was maybe the sappiest thing Jared had ever thought and he was mildly relieved that Jensen couldn't read his mind at that moment.

"I love you too," Jensen breathed, and the tears shining in his eyes made Jared think the boy was feeling all the same things he was.

Then the loud cry of a baby had Jared jerking up and back, turning to fix his gaze for the first time on their little boy. It wasn't the prettiest thing. Jared tried not to think about the amount of blood and how freaky that was. Noah was whisked off before he had the chance to really drink him in.

"Oh he's a real beauty, you boys made a good one," one of the nurses called out as she weighed Noah, cooing at the still crying baby.

Jared itched to get closer but before he could, the nurse was turning, baby skillfully wrapped and resting in her arms. "Ready to hold him Daddy?"

“God, yes." Jared reached out to curl his arm protectively under Noah, supporting his head just like all the books said.

Noah was beautiful, though Jared had never doubted that he would be. When his eyes blinked open, they looked brown and green, a mixture of both colors kind of like Jared's own. A grin stretched across Jared's lips, tears glistening in his eyes as he turned back to Jensen and slowly sat, tilting Noah toward him.

"Noah, here's your Daddy Jensen, say hello." Jared beamed at Jensen, quickly turning his gaze back down to Noah because he couldn't get enough.

"Oh god, Jay, he's so beautiful, he's perfect." Jensen stretched out as much as he could, caressing his fingers down Noah's cheek. "Hello little guy, we've been waiting a long time for you."

Jared didn't think he'd ever be convinced to let Noah go but it wasn't too long before the nurse came to take him to the nursery. He was ushered out of the room as they finished cleaning Jensen up and Jared hurried quickly through the maternity wing, shoving the doors open and beaming at his friends and Mama as they stood as one and rushed forward.

"How did it go? How's Jensen?"

"Is the baby five feet long?"

"Does he have your nose?"

"God, please say he has Jensen's nose."

"As long as he has Jared's jawbone."

“I bet he weighed ten pounds."

"You guys want to shut up and see him?" Jared interrupted the moment he could, not all that surprised by the way his friends were speaking one over the other.

Until he turned to the large glass windows and pointed to the crib that was wheeled forward, the group seemed collectively out of words as they stepped in and peered down at the bundled baby. Jared leaned into his Mama's side as she wrapped an arm around him. It felt like his heart swelled and burst and all the worries he'd had about not being ready for this disappeared.

"Well, he got Jensen's nose, thank the lord," Chad grumbled and Jared's grin stretched so wide it actually hurt.

Epilogue

Master Post
Art Master Post

The Circle of Us 3/5 - Jared/Jensen - NC-17

2012-12-02T05:47:02Z

Title: The Circle of Us 3/5
Author: anyothergirl415
Artist: bt_kady
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Christian/Sandy
Words: ~30,800
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - underage (the boys are 17), teen pregnancy, mpreg, homophobia
Summary: Jared and Jensen have been friends from Kindergarten and Jensen fell for Jared without meaning too. But coming together, sharing everything for the first time, is the least of the challenges waiting for them in the not too distant future.

The Back to School dance was on Jared and Jensen's ninteenth day anniversary. Not that he was keeping track of the days or anything. Despite joking around about spending the night completely alone and in their nice suits, the boys were meeting up with their friends for dinner before heading off to the gym for what was sure to be an entertaining evening.

Jensen was nearly buzzing with excitement as he paced around his room, waiting for Jared to pick him up. They hadn't really gone on any sort of official date since getting together. Sure, they were together with their friends, they didn't try to hide their relationship in any way, but this was something different. This felt like a real date.

"So what time is Jared picking you up?" Mackenzie asked from the doorway, leaning against the wood with one of those knowing smiles.

She was barely thirteen but sometimes Jensen felt like she was wise beyond her years. Like now, when there was so much more being said behind her simple question. "He should be here soon. We're meeting up with the group at the restaurant."

"Right. So you know mom and dad are totally gonna freak when they find out about you two right?" Despite the glint of excitement in her words - having something to hold over her brother's head, she had to love that - Mackenzie kept her question quiet and slid further into the room.

Jensen's brows pulled together and he turned back to the mirror, ignoring that familiar sinking in his chest. He did know that his parents were going to freak out but he'd kind of been hoping he was being paranoid. Like maybe, they'd suddenly embrace their gay son and his lifelong best friend-turned-boyfriend despite all their religious beliefs.

"But he's worth it," Mackenzie murmured and she was closer now, leaning into Jensen's side and laying her head on his shoulder. "He makes you so happy, Jen; I can see it all over your face. And so, no matter how much they freak and stuff, you'll hold on to him right?"

Of that, Jensen was absolutely certain. No one was more important than Jared was, and no one would ever make him as happy. His arm slid around Mackenzie and he turned to press a kiss to her temple. "Absolutely. I can't imagine anyone better."

"There's my favorite girl." Jared all but glided into the room, a wide grin on his lips. "Come give me a hug."

Mackenzie blushed and Jensen didn't blame her. It was hard not to feel the little rush of a thrill when Jared turned all his attention on you like that. Especially when Jared was looking so damn gorgeous in his crisp suit, hair slicked back, long lean body outlined and framed in the best of ways. Mackenzie crossed the room and stepped into Jared's embrace and Jensen scoffed in pretend annoyance.

"Oh I see who you really love," Jensen muttered and turned away. "Might as well go to the dance by myself."
"Come on baby, you know who my heart really belongs to." Jared smirked and did that little glide again, pulling Jensen into his arms.

Even though his eyes flickered over to the doorway - just in case his parents were there watching - Jensen let their lips brush softly together. Jared was worth the risks.

Jared paused mid-crunch, his spoon still hovering near his mouth as he turned his gaze to the bag that had just been dropped unceremoniously on the kitchen table, then up to his Mama who was walking to the fridge. It wasn't all that unusual for Mama to provide him random gifts - sometimes she felt guilty about working so many overnight shifts and though Jared had insisted it was alright, she still tried to butter him up - but usually the gifts came in something a little more flashy than a drugstore shopping bag.

Swallowing the soggy lump of Lucky Charms, Jared slowly set his spoon back in the bowl and reached out for the bag. "Alright... candy stash? I have been running--" Jared cut off with a strangled inhale as he opened the bag and spotted the bottle inside.

A big box of condoms and a brand new bottle of lube.

"Shit," Jared exhaled around his choked cough, ducking his head down to hide the way his face flushed brightly. "Mama!"

“Now look Jared, I may be your Mama but I'm not so old that I don't remember what it was like being a teenager. You've got all these pent up desires and urges and you and Jensen are bound to--"

"Whoa. Okay, okay. I really, really would rather not talk about Jensen and my... pent up desires. God. I haven't even finished my breakfast." Jared twisted the bag closed and pushed it away as if that could stop the churn of thoughts rising up in him.

It was mortifying to think of Mama buying these things for them - condom and lube, Jesus Christ - but the spark of warmth it curled in the pit of his stomach was so much worse. The last things he needed were those so called pent up desires and urges to take form, giving him mental images of exactly what Jensen and he could do with those things, while trying to have any sort of conversation with his Mama.

The woman just laughed and poured herself a glass of juice. "Okay baby, we don't have to talk about it. But I want you two to be safe. I'm sure Jensen's parents have had the same conversation with him."

That was enough to wipe away any particular desires. He kept his gaze pointedly fixed away and tucked into his cereal once more, forcing the food down even if he wasn't all that hungry anymore.

"Jared..." Mama sighed a little too knowingly, leaning against the counter and considering Jared. "Do Jensen's parents know about you two?"

"Mama, you know how the Ackles are." Jared shrugged, looking up at Mama then away again because it was safer. "We're still really new, Jensen and I. We've decided it's better to just... keep it between a few people for now."

Jared kept his head ducked down but it didn't matter; a moment later Mama was there and stroking his hair soothingly. "You boys may have a hard road ahead of you. But you know I will always support and love you both, no matter what happens."

"I know, Mama." Jared leaned into her caress, eager for the comfort it provided him. He'd been worrying a little more than he'd admit about Jensen's parents and the way they were going to react about them. "If it gets bad Mama... if something happens to Jensen--"

"Nothing will happen to that boy. You know he's just as much my boy as you are." Mama ducked down and kissed his forehead, smoothing his hair back one final time before turning back to the kitchen.

Jared's heart warmed at Mama's words and he grinned around his next bite of Lucky Charms. The grin stretched to something even wider when the sound of the door opening echoed through the house. Jared lifted his bowl and drained the rest of the milk and cereal, eyeing Jensen over the edge.

"Morning Mama, morning Jared." Jensen beamed at them both, carrying a drink holder and offering a coffee to Mama then turning to bring Jared his. "How are my two favorite people on this lovely day?"

"How many cups of coffee have you had already?" Jared considered his boyfriend with a smirk, grasping his cup and sipping down the burning liquid.

"Oh, you know, a couple." Jensen laughed and shrugged, turning toward Mama as she stepped in to kiss his cheek.

"Well, I for one love you all happy and cheery and providing me coffee. You two have a good day at school." Mama dipped in to hug Jared once more, heading out of the kitchen in the next moment.

Jared rose from the table and went to wash his bowl, wondering if they'd have time to steal a few private moments before heading to school. Despite the earlier incident with Mama and the present he hadn't been anticipating, he couldn't resist the desire to get his hands all over his boyfriend.

"Hey what's- oh my fucking god," Jensen squeaked loudly, the plastic rustling as Jensen looked in the bag.

Shit. Jared realized he really should have moved the bag. He spun around and stared at his boyfriend, his eyes wide. "Mama thought we should have them. To be safe, you know? I mean, in the future. Just, in case."

"Mama bought us... condoms. And lube. Holy fucking shit. That's- it's like- good god." Jensen pressed his fingers over the flush on his cheeks, closing his eyes and inhaling shakily.

Jared had to roll his lips together to keep from bursting into laughter. Okay, he completely understood the freak out but Jensen always did tend to be on the dramatic side. Striding across the kitchen, Jared sank to his knees in front of his boyfriend, massaging his thighs and dipping in to kiss his lips softly. "It's okay, that doesn't have to mean... we're still taking things at our pace, okay? So if you're freaking out--"

"Mama bought us condoms, Jared!" Jensen looked up swiftly, a near hysterical laugh falling from his lips. "I am not freaking out about us fucking because duh, of course I want that, but the idea of Mama buying that for us. It's like, she might as well have bought us a porno!"

Huffing a laugh, Jared sat back and shook his head, sliding fingers up through his hair. "Actually, I'm pretty sure the porno would have been less embarrassing."

Jensen continued to mutter quietly, shaking his head as he stood and they gathered up their things for school. Jared hastily tucked the bag in a drawer - he was pretty sure Jensen would freak out again if he took it to his room now - and followed Jensen out of the house, a smirk growing on his lips.

"So, us fucking huh?" Jared bumped into Jensen's shoulder, tugging his keys from his pocket. "That something you've been thinking about a lot?"

That sweet little flush crawled up Jensen's cheeks once more and Jared's stomach churned with that pleasant burst of warmth and desire.

A deep moan rose up Jensen's throat and he arched into the heat of Jared's touch, closing his eyes as he squirmed impatiently. Over the last month, they had plenty of pleasure filled moments and this was definitely no different, though maybe a little more intense. They'd been building up to more, exploring each other's bodies, learning the taste and feel and the best way to bring out those moans.

Jensen was completely addicted to Jared more than he ever had been before and he was fairly certain Jared felt exactly the same. Maybe they were just lucky; having grown up together, they were already best friends. Transitioning from that to a physical relationship was easy. And tonight they were home alone. Jensen was tired of taking things slow.

"Jared," Jensen groaned and tugged on his boyfriend's hair, pulling him up from the place he was settled between Jensen's legs. "Want more."

"More?" Jared pushed up, panting softly as his fingers traced the inside of Jensen's thighs. "Like... what kind of more?"

"I want..." Jensen swallowed thickly and wet his lips, spreading his legs just a little wider. He wasn't really nervous, he trusted Jared, but this was the final step for them. Jensen would be giving the last little bit of himself to Jared now and he'd never get that back if something happened between them. "I want you to fuck me."

Jared's eyebrows lifted at that, his fingers drawing to a stop. He considered Jensen silently for a minute before slowly grinning. "Yeah? You sure?"
"Mostly definitely." Jensen nodded, squirming back to reach out and grab the bottle of lube in the nightstand drawer. It brought a laugh to Jared's lips and Jensen rolled his eyes. "Let's really not discuss it. I would much rather talk about your fingers in me."

"Or we could not talk at all and I could just show you." Jared snatched up the bottle and flicked the cap open.

Jensen had only circled his hole a few times out of curiosity. He'd kind of always wanted Jared to be the first to slip a finger inside him. When it came, Jensen was surprised by the stretch and flare of heat. It didn't really sting, was more just something different, stretching him open in a way he'd never been before.

"Oh god," Jensen gasped and dug his heels into the mattress, rocking his body back onto Jared's finger working slowly in and out of him. "Jared, yes, god. Want more. Need another."

"Jesus, Jen, didn't realize you'd be such a little whore for it." Jared groaned softly, slowly inching a second finger in beside his first. "You have no fucking clue how hot this is to watch."

Jensen could guess, judging from the way a flush crawled up Jared's cheeks and the quickening of his breath. And it sure felt pretty hot, Jared's fingers spreading apart within him, stretching the muscle in a way he'd never felt. He'd thought about this, for longer than he could maybe even admit to, but it had never been this perfect in his fantasies. Which was kind of shocking to think about.

"Want you," Jensen moaned and squirmed on the bed, eager for more of that stretch, that feel of connection between them.

By the time Jared was working a third finger into him, Jensen was pretty sure he was going to come from this alone. In fact, he wasn't even sure how he'd managed to last this long. But he didn't want to lose that control until Jared was in him. It seemed more important than anything else so his grip on Jared's hair tightened and he pulled hard, causing Jared to hiss softly.

"Come on Jared, no more waiting." Jensen's lips pursed into something a little too close to a pout, hips shifting impatiently along the soft blanket beneath him. "You now."
“Alright, alright, god you're needy." Jared smirked down at Jensen but pulled his fingers free, shifting up to snag the bottle of lube once more. "How should we? For our first time I mean."

“Just like this. I wanna see..." Jensen didn't think there was any extra blood left in his body to fuel the flush crawling up his cheeks but he looked away just in case. This meant so much to Jensen, he wasn't sure he could even explain it all to Jared.

Apparently, he didn't have to. In the next moment, Jared was in movement, lining himself up at Jensen's entrance and shifting into place above his body. Their eyes met and Jensen's breath hitched, staring up at Jared as the nerves kicked up and his heart clenched. Jensen swallowed thickly and reached out, tracing his fingers down Jared's jaw.

"I love you so much," Jared whispered and dipped down to let their lips brush gently together before he was moving forward.

It was strange at first, the feeling of Jared sinking into him. Full and thick, spreading him wide with more warmth than he'd expected. Jensen bit down on his bottom lip and held completely still, breathing slowly through his nose as Jared sank completely down into him. The connection was overwhelming, even with the stretch Jensen had never properly imagined.

"Holy fucking shit," Jared groaned and let their foreheads rest together. "This is so... it's so... god Jen, too much."

"Feels good?" Dragging his tongue slowly over his lips Jensen tipped up just slightly, wanting to adjust the feel of Jared in him, to see how amazing it could be.

"So fucking good." In the next moment, Jared pulled out a few inches, hesitating before rocking back in.

The stretch and burn weren't all that uncomfortable any more. Of course, having Jared there over him, pressed so tightly his cock kept rubbing against Jared's smooth abs, only adding to the overload of sensations. A low moan built in Jensen as Jared's pace increased, growing with more confidence. Once more Jensen was squirming on the bed, shifting until he could lift his legs and wrap them around Jared's thin frame, pulling him in even deeper.

Their lips crushed together in a hard kiss as Jared pulled back and thrust hard forward, working their bodies together in hard thrusts. When their angle changed Jared's next thrust landed right up against that pleasure spot in Jensen and he moaned loudly into the kiss, the noise instantly swallowed up by Jared.

Jensen lost track of time, the world fading away as Jared fucked into him steadily. He couldn't catch his breath, vision blurring until he had no choice but to pull back from the kiss, sucking in deep desperate lungsful of air. Jensen's fingers had found their way to Jared's hair once more, tugging at the silky locks, hips constantly rocking up to meet each thrust deep into him.

"Jensen, Jen, m'gonna, I gotta," Jared gasped into his mouth, lips sliding down along Jensen's neck. "C'mon, come with me. Fuck."

"God. Yes, Jared." Jensen arched up liked Jared's words were warm fingers stroking steadily over his cock. The next handful of thrusts hit right up against that spot over and over and Jensen couldn't hold on any longer.

His toes curled as the burst of his release swelled through him, making his skin tingle and his eyes squeezing shut. The call of Jared's name left his lips - loud enough he was grateful for the fact that Jared's house was empty - echoed around them and his fingers dug hard into Jared's scalp, holding on like it was the only thing grounding him.

Jensen was so caught up in his release he didn't even realize Jared had hit his own peak until the boy was collapsing on his chest, body heaving with deep breaths. Jensen squirmed against heavy weight pressing down on him, a faint smile twitching across his lips. His fingers stroked slowly through Jared's hair, the touch soothing and soft.

It was perfect to relax in the pleasure of the moment, savoring everything that had just passed between them. They would never been the same after this moment, more connected then any two people could ever be. The smile on Jensen's lips grew and his heart swelled in the absolute best ways.

Until, of course, Jared abruptly tensed above him and slowly pushed up and pulled back, slipping free of Jensen's throbbing hole. "Shit. I totally fucking forgot."

"What?" Jensen frowned, turning to follow as Jared flopped to the side of the bed, his hand dropped over his still flushed face. "Forgot what?"

"A condom," Jared groaned and dragged his hand down, peering at Jensen over his fingers. "Was too caught up in the moment... didn't even think about it."

Jensen rolled his lips together, remembering just why those condoms were bought in the first place. Be safe. Well, they were. It wasn't like they were out fooling around with every kid in their school. "It was both our first times, we're both clean, why should it really matter?"

"What if you get pregnant?" Jared pushed up onto his elbows, considering Jensen with arched brows.

"We don't even know if I can. I mean, no matter what the studies might say it's not like every guy who has unprotected sex gets pregnant, or even girls for that matter. What is the likelihood I would actually get pregnant on our very first time? We'll use one next time, until I can get on the pill or something." Jensen shrugged and dropped back on the bed.

Maybe he shouldn't be dismissing it so easily; he supposed the possibility really was out there that he could get pregnant, but it didn't seem all that likely. They'd be safe in the future and Jensen would never regret feeling skin on skin for their very first time.

"Okay well... if you're not worried then I guess I won't either." Jared settled back on the bed, snuggling up against Jensen's side and gently kissing his shoulder. "It was pretty damn amazing."

"Yeah. It definitely was."

Chad and Danneel were singing along to the radio - badly, off key and too loud - and in the rear view mirror Jared could see Sandy and Chris talking in quiet whispers, pressed closely side by side. Jared's eyebrows arched and he turned to glance over at Jensen, wondering what his boyfriend thought of their friend's interactions. Only his boyfriend wasn't looking his way.

"Jen? You okay?" Jared reached out and squeezed Jensen's thigh, rubbing softly over the smooth cotton of costume pants. The boy had been pretty quiet so far tonight, but with the excited buzz of the rest of the group, Jared hadn't really thought about it. Now that he did, it was impossible to miss the way Jensen's smile wasn't as full and bright as it usually was. "What's up?"

"Just not feeling so good." Jensen shrugged, turning toward Jared and letting their fingers thread together. "Kinda feel queasy."

"Were you getting into Mama's candy stash Jensen? You're supposed to wait until after the Haunted House." Danneel leaned forward, dropping her elbows on the seats to peer at them. "No throwing up on the actor's."

Jared watched out of the corner of his eye - gaze flickering between the road and his boyfriend - as Jensen's lips twitched in a faint smile. "I'm not going to throw up on anyone. I don't know, maybe I just have that bug going around or something."

“What bug going around?" Sandy finally pulled her attention from Chris, inching forward to squeezing in beside Danneel. "You can't be sick Jensen, it's Halloween! We'd just look stupid without a Scooby."

At that, a full smile pulled at Jared's lips. Every year their Halloween costumes somehow fit together. Like the year they were all Power Rangers. Or the year they'd all dressed as Nintendo characters. One of Jared's favorites had been the year they were all Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with Danneel as April O'Neil.

This year, after much debate, they'd decided to go as Scooby-Doo and crew. Jensen was Scooby-Doo, completely with dog ears and brown paint artfully decorating his features courtesy of the girls. Jared was Shaggy - which made sense in a perverted way - Danneel was Daphne, Sandy was Thelma, and Chad was Fred. Chris, who always tended to complain about their costume choices and generally hated dressing up, was a man in the disguise of a monster. They had to have someone to be investigating after all.

Jensen laughed softly and reached out to pat Sandy's hand. "I'll be fine I promise. And if I have to bail, we'll just make Chris take over the Scooby costume."

"As if," Chris grunted and slumped hard back in the seat.

The conversation drifted on to other things now that the girls were convinced that Jensen wasn't going to leave them hanging Scooby-less. But Jared's gaze kept drifting over to his boyfriend, trying not to show concern. The paint covering his features made it impossible to decipher how his boyfriend might be feeling and Jared found that strangely unsettling. After all, he'd spent the last almost two months learning Jensen in a completely different way and he'd come to rely on that.

"Jay, I'm fine, I swear." Jensen murmured as if he were reading Jared's mind. Maybe he'd spent all this time learning Jared just as well. "'Sides, it's not like you'd let anything happen to me no matter what right?"

"Of course, I wouldn't. But, you'll let me know right? If you need to sit down or need some water or want me to take you home, whatever you need." Jared's grin grew as he glanced to the side once more and saw the soft glow behind Jensen's bright eyes.

Jensen leaned across the seat and pressed his lips to Jared's shoulder; neither really caring if any of the face paint smeared on Jared's green shirt. "You're the best. Now hurry up and get us there, I can't handle any more of their off pitch whaling."

"Fuck you! We're amazing. We should start a band!" Chad hollered and the car filled with laughter even as Jared's foot pressed just a little harder on the pedal.

Whatever flu bug Jensen picked up, he was officially over it. His entire body was aching and he found himself suddenly queasy at the most inconvenient times - like yesterday, in the middle of kissing a path down Jared's body to his eagerly waiting rock hard cock. Jensen had just barely made it to the bathroom when his stomach suddenly churned. And that had effectively killed the mood.

Now he was staring down at his dinner, swallowing the rising taste of bile. It had been bad enough the week before when he couldn't even keep down some of his favorite Halloween candies - and throwing up Skittles was one of the worst things he'd ever experienced - but to miss out on his mom's lasagna because he couldn't even handle the smell? That fucking sucked.

"Jensen, still not feeling well?" Dad asked around a mouthful of cheese and meat.

Jensen glanced up long enough to watch the mushy mess appear for just a moment in his dad's mouth before he quickly looked away and shook his head. "No, not really. Feels like I'll never shake whatever it is I've caught."

Maybe you're pregnant," Mackenzie mumbled, almost instantly snorting on a laugh.

"Mack, knock it off, that's not even funny." Mom huffed like the very idea offended her delicate sensibilities.

Jensen, however, suddenly couldn't swallow around the lump in his throat. For some reason the thought hadn't even crossed his mind as a possibility though it probably should have. Because there was that first time, his and Jared's, and the protection they hadn't used. Ever since then they'd been safe but they'd learned about this in Health class not all that long ago. All it took was one time.

The unexplained illness of the last week and a half suddenly didn't seem all that unexplained. Weren't these all the signs of pregnancy? Queasiness, aching body, heightened senses.

"Oh, my god," Jensen whispered and pushed back from the table, clamping his hand hard over his mouth and rushing down the hall. He barely made it to the bathroom in time.

By the time he'd managed to stop dry heaving, there were tears in his eyes and Jensen practically collapsed back on the bathroom floor. He was so fucked, so beyond fucked it wasn't even funny. How could he be so stupid as to think one time wouldn't matter in the long run? Jensen had known better.

"Jensen?" Mom stepped slowly into the room, her brows pulled together in that way she got whenever he was about to be in trouble. "Something you want to tell us?"

His gaze drifted over to his dad - whose face was all red and shit - before dropping to the ground. He didn't want to have this conversation now, not before he'd even had the chance to talk to Jared about everything. His boyfriend needed to know, to understand before, because Jensen was pretty sure his parents weren't above doing something really, really bad.

What if they shipped him off somewhere? Some private school for young knocked up gay boys where they could have their babies and be taught not to be gay all at the same time? Did places like that exist?

"Jesus Christ it's true," Dad spat, clearly losing out on his anger. "How the fuck did you let this happen? What the hell were you thinking?"

"Alan, calm down, let's just... come on Jensen, get up, let's go talk about this in the living room. I'll get you some Sprite and saltine crackers." Mom stooped down to helped Jensen up, guiding him down the hallway with enough comfort to soothe Jensen some.

Maybe they wouldn't ship him off after all.

By the time he'd settled on the couch with the Sprite and crackers, his dad's face wasn't nearly as red and his parents seemed a little less angry. That was promising and Jensen nibbled almost gratefully on his crackers. Of course, it was too good to last.

"Does Jared know?"

Jensen almost choked on his Sprite. He coughed a few times then slowly shook his head, fingers gripping his cup tightly. "I um, actually didn't really figure it out until a few minutes ago. Just thought I was sick."

“I see. Well, we'll have to discuss this with Sherri." Mom sighed and rubbed along her arm slowly. "We'll need Jared's cooperation to put the baby up for adoption."

This night felt like one blow after another. Jensen's mind was still reeling over the whole being pregnant thing. There was a baby growing in him, his and Jared's baby, and apparently his parents seemed to think there was no option but to give it away. "Adoption? What if I want to keep it? The baby. What if Jared and I decided to keep the baby?"

That red anger was crawling across Dad's cheeks again, and Jensen flinched like the man might reach out and smack him. He was pretty sure the man wouldn't, but still. "You're not going to keep the baby. Jesus, Jensen you're seventeen years old. You haven't even finished high school. You weren't even smart enough to use protection and you've been lying to your mother and me. What about any of that makes you think you're qualified to have a child?"

Jensen wanted to protest the whole lying thing and being qualified - this child was his and Jared's, he'd give him or her anything they needed - but he could tell arguments would only get him so far. He needed some time to accept everything. "How did you know? About Jared and me, I mean?"

"You two have always spent so much time together and I know Sherri leaves you alone quite often. It was just a matter of time before you two started... experimenting with each other." Mom shifted uncomfortably.

The fact that his parents seemed to think the thing between him and Jared was simply experimenting caused all those arguments to rise up in Jensen once more, and this time he lost out on them. "We're not experimenting! We're... we're in a relationship, we have been for over two months. I love him, I'm in love with him and this baby is a product of that. I don't think I can just dismiss all of that."

"Jensen, you're seventeen," Dad drew out the word like he hadn't used it as his rationale just a few minutes before. "You don't even know what love really is and you certainly don't know the responsibility it takes to have a child. What about college? What about your dreams of having a career? Are you ready to just give that all up?"

"Honey," Mom tried for a softer tone, glancing warily at Alan then back at Jensen with a sympathetic smile. "We're not saying that you and Jared can't be in love... you've known each other a long time and it's understandable. But there is no reason you boys need to throw away your future like this. Think of all the freedom you'd be giving up."

Putting it that way, Jensen could understand his parent's points. They would be giving up all their freedom, their futures would definitely be put on hold, and what if something happened with the baby that caused him and Jared to fall apart? Jensen couldn't handle the idea of anything damaging their relationship.

Still... someone else raising their baby? A baby created out of love and trust and a lifelong friendship?

"I just think maybe we could handle it, Jared and I. This is... I'm about a month along I guess. Which means by the time the baby is born we'll both have graduated, I'll be over eighteen. Jared and I could get a place, we could make it work." Jensen twisted his fingers slowly around the cup of Sprite, trying not to think about all the possibilities.

"You're not keeping this baby Jensen and that's final." Mom finally sounded as upset as Jensen knew she was. "As long as you live here, as long as you're still our child, we're not letting you keep this baby."

There was some kind of threat under laced with the words; Jensen's heart sank and his stomach churned in a way that had nothing to do with the new life growing in him.

"Now, get your shoes and coat. We're going over to the Padaleckis. The sooner we get this business taken care of the better." Mom and Dad stood at once, the figurative door on the conversation closing.

Jensen forced himself up and to his room, tugging his phone from his pocket. This wasn't the type of conversation he wanted to have with his parents right there too; it was something he and Jared should discuss in private. But apparently his decision in that matter was being taken away as well.

Jensen:coming over with the parents. brace urself.

"Jensen! Let's go!"

Tugging his coat on slowly Jensen closed his eyes and let his fingers flutter briefly over his temporarily flat stomach. Soon it would be full and round, housing a child he would never get to know.

When the text had popped up Jared's brows had furrowed but a smile had lifted his lips. The idea of seeing Jensen was worth whatever drama might come as a result of it. Of course, there was no real way of anticipating what exactly that might be.

"Oh, hello Donna, Alan, it's nice to see you." Mama was grinning, polite and sweet like she always was. Jared wasn't entirely sure if Mama really liked Jensen's parents but she always treated them pretty well.

Sometimes it was a little challenging to think nicely of the Ackles.

"Sherri, it has been a while. Unfortunately, we're not here with very good news. May we sit please?" Donna clutched tightly to her purse, heading to the couch without waiting for an answer.

Jensen kept his head down as he followed and Jared felt the first initial twist in his gut, the worry that things were about to get a lot more complicated.

"Is everything okay?" Mama asked, taking the loveseat beside Jared. As he settled onto the cushion, Jared kept his eyes on Jensen, trying to mentally communicate with his boyfriend. It wasn't working all that well.

"Not really, no. Are you aware that our sons are having a sex - a relationship?" Alan snapped, his voice sharper than Jared had ever heard it. It was enough to make Jared straighten up a little, looking from Jensen to Alan with wide eyes. He knew the man didn't really approve of gay people but he really hadn't thought it would be that big of a deal.

Mama obviously thought the same thing, her body growing tense next to Jared's. "I am aware, yes. Our boys are in love, that's more than just a physical relationship."

"That's really not the point here." Donna frowned and shook her head, gaze lingering on Jared for just a moment before fixing straight on Mama. "Jensen is pregnant."

All the air was sucked out of the room so fast Jared was a little worried he might black out. Pregnant. Holy fucking shit. "Excuse me?" He managed to gasp out after an extended stretch of silence.

"Jared I just found-"

"Not now Jensen," Donna snapped, glaring at Jensen for just a moment then clearing her throat. "Obviously Jensen won't be keeping the baby but I thought it was important you be made aware exactly what was happening in your house."

"Are you implying I don't look after the boys?" Mama was fuming now, Jared shifted away just in case the woman exploded like he worried she might. "I have had several conversations with them and I explained just how important protection is, I even provided them with that protection to use."

"You gave them condoms? Fuck, like it wasn't enough you leave them all alone, let them sleep in the same room?" Alan looked just about pissed as Mama but Jared wasn't nearly as worried about him.

No one could win in a fight against Mama, especially when she was passionate about something. And holy shit, Jensen and he were going to have a baby. They were going to be parents. Except...

"What do you mean Jensen's not keeping the baby?" Jared spoke up before Mama could flare at the accusations. For the first time since the announcement, Jared caught Jensen's gaze. His boyfriend looked crushed, his eyes red and his skin pale.

Suddenly Jared had no idea how they hadn't figured it out before. They should have realized just what had made Jensen so sick. Jared was desperate to get Jensen alone, to ask how he felt about everything, and to let him know how this didn't change anything. Jared knew it would be hard but he wanted Jensen, including their baby, and they would make an absolutely perfect family.

"Jared, you're both seventeen. I'm sure your mother will explain how there is no way you are responsible enough to handle a child." Donna nodded knowingly and Jared could tell this fight was about to get even worse.

"I was seventeen when I had Jared and I was a single mother whose parents didn't think she was responsible enough." Mama nearly growled the words, her gaze narrowing on Donna.

"Well, then, I'm sure you can understand why we wouldn't want that for our son. Regardless, this topic is not up for discussion. Jensen is our son and we've decided not to allow him to keep the baby. We've also decided it would be for the best if Jensen and Jared not spend time together any longer."

"What?" Jensen and Jared screeched the words at practically the same time, Jared pushing up to stand. "No! That's crazy! You can't stop us from seeing each other."

"It really is for the best. Besides, it won't matter much longer. We're going to find a place for Jensen to finish his schooling and have the baby before it's given up for adoption. They make schools for these sorts of complications." Donna stood as well, Alan following her lead. "Sherri, I hope you will do the right thing and support our decision as Jensen's parents in this matter. And maybe in the future you should keep a better eye on your son."

With that, they practically swept out of the house, dragging Jensen by the arm no matter how much Jensen twisted and tried to pull away.

Jared dropped heavy back on the couch, shock making his heart lurch unpleasantly. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut; his eyes teared up, his stomach churning with a sickening clench.

"Mama..." he whispered, sucking in a sharp breath.

"It's okay baby. We'll figure it out. We'll... we'll figure out how to make it work." Mama curled an arm around Jared, tugging him in close and pressing a kiss to his temple.

Part Four

Master Post
Art Master Post

The Circle of Us 2/5 - Jared/Jensen - NC-17

2012-12-02T05:36:59Z

Title: The Circle of Us 2/5
Author: anyothergirl415
Artist: bt_kady
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Christian/Sandy
Words: ~30,800
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - underage (the boys are 17), teen pregnancy, mpreg, homophobia
Summary: Jared and Jensen have been friends from Kindergarten and Jensen fell for Jared without meaning too. But coming together, sharing everything for the first time, is the least of the challenges waiting for them in the not too distant future.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Jared couldn't get his gaze to lift from the scrapbook open on his lap. He'd been staring at it for hours now, too long to count, and every time he blinked all he saw was the crushed, devastated look on Jensen's face right before he'd run away the night before. Now that the shock had settled some, Jared was seeing everything with different eyes.

"Jared? Baby?" Mama sighed and, pushing off the doorframe, walked slowly over to Jared until she was close enough to reach out and caress his hair. "I'm worried about you."

"I'm okay," Jared shrugged, managing a weak smile up at Mama. "Just... thinking about some things."

Mama hummed softly and nudged Jared back until there was enough room for her to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. Her arm curled slowly around Jared, fingers stroking over his arm, lips pressing to his temple in a gentle kiss. "You know honey, however you feel, no matter what happens, I will always love you with all I am."

That had never really been something Jared was even remotely worried about. The idea of his Mama not loving him anymore because of the way he felt was ridiculous. Still, the very fact that she'd thought to say something like that had Jared's eyes snapping wide open as he turned to face her.

"What do you mean?" He was almost afraid of her answer. Because he'd spent the entire night - and day afterward - trying to accept that his best friend was in love and he was getting there, it wasn't so shocking anymore. The idea that he could feel the same... Jared wasn't ready to go there yet.

"You boys always did have a special sort of relationship. I watched you both grow up and learn so much about the world together. Feeling as you do, caring so much, it's almost to be expected."

For some reason the very notion that this would be expected of him made a burst of anger flare through Jared. He pushed away from his Mama and passed across the room, arms flailing out at his sides. "It's not like I'm in love- I don't have these feelings about Chad or Chris. Or Danneel, hell, not even Sandy and I thought I could see myself dating her. And it's not like I really have feelings for Jen... it's... maybe it's just because we're so close. Maybe we just need some time apart."

"So the way he's avoided you all week, that hasn't bothered you at all? You think it's for the best?" Mama folded her arms across her chest, giving Jared a look that was a little too liking for his taste.

Jared thought about the last five or so days without Jensen and just like that all the anger seeped out of him. With a heavy sigh he turned back to the bed, dropping down on the mattress beside his Mama and letting his head fall to rest on her shoulder. It felt like all the emotions of the last week were pressing down on his shoulders and really, all Jared wanted to do was see Jensen. He wanted to hug the boy, pull comfort from him, lie in bed for hours and talk about everything under the moon.

It wasn't a secret he missed Jensen, it was the reason he'd gone to The Shack last night even though it was one of the nights he'd usually spend with his Mama. But the way he missed Jensen now was like an ache somewhere deep in his chest, a longing that was practically unbearable.

"I've never been with anyone Mama," Jared muttered, feeling the flush of heat crawling up his cheeks. This wasn't really the conversation he wanted to have with her, but it wasn't as if he had many options at this point. "How do I know that it's not just... circumstance? How do I know it's not because of all the time we spend together? Because if it's just that, but we get together anyway, and something happens... I can't lose him Mama. I really, really can't. So what if I fuck up our entire lifelong friendship over... god knows what?"

"Jared, what do you think love is, son?" Mama laughed softly and ruffled his hair, nudging Jared back to give him a knowing smile. "You always take that risk of losing someone when you let yourself feel more but that's what makes it all so great. That feeling when you know someone is completely worth all of the risks."

Jared was pretty sure Jensen was worth any risk - if anyone was, it was Jensen - but the idea of losing his best friend was absolutely terrifying. Jared threaded his fingers together and squeezed tightly. "And... if I do think he is, worth the risk I mean, how do I keep it all from falling apart? God, Mama, I'm not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, even I can admit to that."

Mama tipped her head back in a laugh even as she pushed up to stand, ruffling fingers through Jared's hair. "I have this feeling you two will work it out somehow. Considering how Jensen feels about you, pretty sure he'd not about to let you go any time soon."

Jared watched his Mama walk out of his room, wondering just how she'd figured out everything regarding Jensen's feelings. Sometimes when it came to his Mama, it was just better to take her advice, though Jared wasn't entirely sure where to begin fixing things with Jensen.

It seemed safer to not reach out to Jensen until Monday, until Jared had taken some time to really consider what he was going to say and what he really felt. The plan had seemed really smart, especially when he talked to Mama about it and she spent the entire weekend with him cuddled up on the couch watching some of their favorite movies.

But by the time he stepped onto the school grounds on Monday morning, he was starting to rethink his decision. Jensen was nowhere to be found, not on the front steps or outside his locker and Jared's heart sank just a little heavier in his chest. Maybe avoiding Jensen hadn't been the right call.

What if he'd fucked everything up because he needed time to figure shit out?

He was just starting to freak out about the possibility that he'd fucked up all of his friendships when he spotted Danneel. Jared blew out a shaky breath and pushed through the crowd, grabbing the girl's arm to keep from losing her in the student mass.

"God, Dani," Jared exhaled in a rush, gripping the girl even tighter because he didn't think he could handle anyone leaving him. He was desperate for Jensen by this point but he'd take any connection from his friendships that he could get.

"Jared? Are you okay?" Danneel turned to face him and Jared was relieved to see she didn't look angry. Maybe she'd even understand, if Jared could figure out the right way to explain everything to her. "You never answered my texts this weekend."

"I know. I'm sorry, I was avoiding everyone. That was shitty." Jared slowly released the girl's thin arm and lifted his hand, pushing it back through his hair slowly. "I needed some time to sort myself out."

"I get that. Was kind of a lot." Danneel shut her locker and leaned against the metal, eyes scanning down the hall slowly. "So... did you do it? Get your brain all sorted?"

A slight smile lifted Jared's lips and he shrugged. "I think so. Have you seen Jensen around? I really need to talk to him."

Danneel considered him for a long moment and it felt like she was trying to read his mind. Jared didn't mind, he knew Danneel had a fierce protective streak of Jensen and he couldn't blame her. Jensen deserved to be protected. Finally, a smile lifted the girl's lips and Jared was relieved - and maybe a little surprised - that she could read the emotions behind his eyes. "Last I saw he was out on the bleachers with Sandy."

"Okay, great, I'm just gonna..." Jared gestured toward the school doors, heart kick starting at the very thought of seeing Jensen again.

God, how had he not realized before that his best friend made him feel this way and of course, it meant something more?

Jensen was perched on the top bench of the stadium bleachers, facing Sandy so all Jared could see was the back of his head. Even that seemed to be enough to make Jared's palms sweat and he swallowed the lump in his throat as he forced himself forward. Jared knew things would be okay between them, as long as he managed to get everything he was thinking out without making anything worse.

They obviously saw him coming. At least by the time Jared reached the top of the bleachers both were facing him, Sandy's eyes wide and Jensen's guarded and narrowed in a way that made Jared's chest tightening uncomfortably. Jared shoved his hands into his pockets, ducking his head down and rocking forward on the metal bench.

"Hey. Can I um, can we talk for a few minutes? Before class?" Jared thought about adding alone but one quick glance over to Sandy and the girl was jumping up, fumbling for her canvas bag and slinging it quickly up over her shoulder.

"I'll see you guys at lunch." Sandy dipped down and kissed Jensen's cheek, saying something Jared couldn't hear. She gave Jared a soft smile as she straightened up, squeezing his arm as she passed and jogged down the bleachers.

Jared turned to watch her go, blowing out a shaky breath before climbing up the last step, slowly dropping to sit on the metal beside Jensen. "So, I kind of freaked out."

"Kind of." Jensen nodded, arms folding across his chest, pulling in on himself. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have just unloaded that all on you like that."

"No, you should have. I needed to know. Hell, I asked what it was all about didn't I?" Jared smiled weakly over at Jensen then looked away, twisting his sweaty fingers together.

It was silent for a few long, uncomfortable moments and Jared was pretty sure he was about to be sick all over the front of his jeans. Why was did it feel like this between them now? Jared kept coming back to the idea that things between them were ruined forever. He didn't know how to change that.

"I miss you," Jensen whispered just before the silence could reach the point of being overwhelming.

For whatever the reason, that was enough to cause the last of Jared's lingering nerves to explode. In the next moment, he spun and reached out, gripping Jensen's upper arms hard and dragging him forward. Jared caught just a flash of Jensen's wide eyes before their lips were sealing together, Jensen's still open in shock.

Jared hadn't really given a lot of thought to what would be his first kiss. It hadn't seemed weird that he'd yet to have one, and it didn't seem all that weird to have it now, with Jensen. No, it actually felt natural. Even if Jensen's lips were still frozen against his and Jared was pretty sure the boy was about to have some major type of freak out.

Sure enough, a beat later Jensen was shoving back hard, his eyes fluttering a few times as he stared at Jared. "That was not cool."

"No?" Jared's lips felt pleasant and tingling, a smile twitching at the corner though it was probably not a very appropriate time for one. "I thought it was pretty good honestly."

"You can't just fuck around with me like that Jared!" Jensen pressed his fingertips hard into Jared's shoulders, a scowl twisting his lips. "God, that was suck a dick thing to do."

Against Jared's control, the smile grew on his lips and he ducked his head down, trying to catch Jensen's eye. "Jen? I wanted it."

A strangled snort left Jensen's mouth only to cut off a beat later, gaze snapping up to fix on Jared. "You... seriously? No. You're fucking with me."

"Would I really do that?" At the risk at being slapped, Jared reached out and slowly slid his fingers down Jensen's cheek, lingering on his lips for just a moment. "I've thought about it, all weekend really. I thought about whether I wanted this and what it meant if I did and you know what I realized?"

Jensen still looked pretty damn shocked - Jared couldn't blame him - and his Adam's apple bobbed a few times with hard swallows before he managed to speak. "W-what?"

“I've never thought it was weird that I didn't think about girls, didn't want to have a relationship and do all that physical shit. This weekend I realized, it was because of you. I mean, I'd rather spend every minute of every day with you. You're the first person I think about when I wake up and the last one I think of before I fall asleep. This week, you and I not talking, it was probably the most painful thing I've ever gone through but I'm glad for it because it made me realize probably the most important thing ever."

"Oh my god, is this really happening?" Jensen gasped in a breath, his hands fluttering quickly up to his cheeks then dropping like he realized just how ridiculous that looked.

Jared grinned and spun to face Jensen head on, reaching out to frame the boy's flushed cheeks between his palms. "I don't even know how it happened but I am like, crazy in love with you. You're the only person I want to have any kind of relationship with."

"And all the physical shit?" Jensen laughed softly, shifting just a little closer.

It felt good to laugh with Jensen again, to feel like all the shit that had stirred up between them over the last week was finally fading away, giving way to something so much better. "Oh yeah, definitely all the physical shit."

"You're not gonna change your mind right?" Jensen swayed closer, his nose brushing against Jared's, their lips so close Jared could feel the quickening release of the boy's breath. "If we do something, if we become more, you won't regret it?"

Jared slowly shook his head then dragged Jensen in, crushing their lips together once more. It was completely better than the first time, mostly because Jensen wasn't battling with shock. This time Jensen was reaching out, threading his fingers into Jared's hair and pulling him in even closer so their lips could slide perfectly smooth together.

A deep moan rose up in Jared and he slid his tongue forward, eager to taste every inch of Jensen's mouth. He'd never really felt the rush of pleasure like he did at that moment, the swirl of heat that rose in the pit of his stomach as Jensen inched closer. It was all these things he hadn't even realized he was missing and it was absolutely perfect.

The distant ring of the morning bell echoed across the schoolyard and Jared smiled into the kiss, knowing Jensen would never be okay with skipping class. Even for something like a pretty damn hot make out session.

"Think you won Chris twenty bucks," Jensen muttered as he pulled back, wetting his red kiss swollen lips.

Jared tipped his head back in a laugh, pulling Jensen up with him as he stood. His arms around Jensen tightened even as they made their way down the bleachers. The thought of untangling from Jensen didn't even occur to him and Jensen seemed completely okay with that.
"This is about to be a serious chick flick moment isn't it?" Jensen sighed wearily, detaching reluctantly from Jared and dropping down in his seat.

"I'm just so happy for you guys!" Sandy cheered happily, reaching out to squeeze Jensen's hand. "I can't help but feel a little responsible. I mean, if Jared hadn't asked me to the dance and all."

"Well maybe we can repay the favor somehow." Jensen grinned at the girl, shooting a look over to Chris who was completely unaware of course that the conversation involved him in any way.

Jared pressed his leg against Jensen's under the table and it helped counteract the way his heart panged on Sandy's behalf. He definitely understood crushing on someone who didn't feel the same. But then, it seemed to turn out pretty well for him in the long run so there was still hope for Sandy and Chris.

"Man, I am plenty happy for you two but I swear to god I am not putting up with any PDA. You hear me? No kissing. Or goo goo eyes. Or inappropriate groping," Chris grumbled around his mouthful of food.

Jensen rolled his eyes but Jared only grinned, sliding his fingers over Jensen's denim covered thigh, sliding up just a little too high. "Well then, I guess you better not look under the table at any point in time."

At that, Danneel and Sandy simultaneously ducked under the table in an explosion of giggles while Chris and Chad groaned. Jensen ducked his head down, hiding the blush crawling swiftly up his cheeks. This thing with Jared was going to be a constant whirlwind and Jensen couldn't possibly be more excited.

"Mama! We're home!" Jared swung the front door open, all but dragging Jensen into the house with him. Their hands were threaded tightly together and Jared couldn't get over the thrill of having Jensen there with him, them being together. He wanted to tell everyone, wanted to shout it off the rooftops, but mostly he wanted Jensen alone and in his bedroom where they could explore more of that kissing business.

"Look at my boys, happy as clams." Mama beamed at them as she entered the room, drying her hands on a dishtowel. For just a moment, her gaze dropped down to their linked hands and Jared was pretty sure her smile widened. "I'm just about to head to work. You two gonna behave here on your own?"

Jared smirked and glanced over, watching the blush growing on Jensen's cheeks. His boyfriend was kind of adorable.His boyfriend, holy shit. "We will Mama, I promise," Jensen murmured, squeezing Jared's hand tightly.

"Alright, just... be safe. And don't think either of you are getting out of a talk later on." Mama shot them both a firm look then tossed the dishrag at Jared with a laugh.

After they'd both received hugs from Mama and she'd left, Jared exploded in laughter, pulling Jensen in hugging him close. "I think we're gonna get stuck having a sex talk with Mama."

"That sounds downright terrifying." Jensen tightened his arms around Jared, burying his face in Jared's neck.

The hot release of air against Jared's neck was enough to send a shudder of pleasure down his spine and his arms tightened around his boyfriend. "Can we go up to my room now?"

"Um, yes. Definitely. Yeah." Jensen stepped back, smiling up at Jared then looking down, hiding another flush on his cheeks.

Jared thought the whole Jensen blushing out of control thing was pretty much the most adorable thing ever. They chased each other up the stairs, nervous excitement causing them both to laugh. Jared's hands were starting to shake, which he thought was kind of ridiculous. This was Jensen; it wasn't like they would hurt each other or anything.

But he'd kind of been building this moment up in his mind all weekend, and all day after their few kisses that morning. He knew they weren't about to go all the way or anything, they definitely weren't ready for that yet, but Jared had been a virgin for seventeen years and he was very ready for that to change.

The moment they stepped into his bedroom he had Jensen pressed up against the wall, backpacks sliding to the floor, lips crushing hard together. Earlier, before school ended, Jared had asked Jensen if he wanted to come over to work on homework. Judging from the heat that had been behind Jensen's gaze then, Jared was fairly certain the boy would be okay with anything they decided to do.

"Jay," Jensen gasped into the kiss, lifting his leg and letting it hook around the back of Jared's thigh. "Oh god."

Their tongues tangled together and Jared sucked in the taste of his boyfriend, eager to memorize it. They kissed until their lips were nearly numb and Jared thought his knees were going to give out. He'd never been so hard before, never wanted so badly, and Jared had had some pretty intense wet dreams in th past. None of them could even begin to compare to the way Jensen was making him feel now.

Countless minutes - hours, maybe - later, they stumbled across the room and finally fell to the bed. Jared kicked out of his shoes, sucking on Jensen's tongue as the boy removed his own sneakers. Every little noise Jensen made was addicting - the soft whimpers, low moans, and quiet pleas - and Jared was pretty sure he would do absolutely everything in his power to hear them as often as possible.

"Wanna touch," Jensen moaned out after a while, slipping his fingers under Jared's shirt to caress his abs. "God, I can't believe this is happening."

"Kind of feels surreal huh?" Jared laughed shakily, shifting around on the bed until he and Jensen were lying on their sides facing each other. They were both panting heavily, lips swollen, cheeks flushed, and Jared could hardly believe how gorgeous Jensen looked. "Fuck, how did I never figure this out before?"

Jensen grinned, dancing his fingers down to tug on Jared's belt buckle. "You're kind of an idiot sometimes."

"Gee, the love." Jared rolled his eyes but the action faltered when Jensen's fingers dipped under his jeans. He'd thought about this - pretty much non-stop since he'd figured out how he really felt for Jensen - but feeling it was something completely different.

Jensen's fingers were soft and gentle, creeping slowly further down, slipping under the worn cotton of his briefs. Jared couldn't seem to tear his gaze from Jensen's, lips parted on a heavy pant, desire swirling in the pit of his stomach. By the time Jensen's fingers curled around the base of his cock Jared was pretty sure he was going to come right then and there.

"Fuck, Jensen," Jared gasped, his chest heaving in quick breaths. "You've never... you haven't..." The way Jensen was touching him now was so quickly driving him out of control, Jared couldn't imagine this was the boy's first time.

Though the very idea made a sick jealousy swim through every inch of him.

"Never. You know I haven't." Jensen wet his lips slowly, eyes traveling down to watch his hand move.

Something about watching Jensen watch him made everything in Jared bubble over. In the next moment, he was pushing forward, lips crushing hard against Jensen's, hands fumbling with the boy's jeans. Their bodies rolled together over the mattress, wrestling down denim and cotton, flesh sliding together between gasps and moans.

Jared wasn't even sure how they managed to get out of their clothing but in the next beat, their naked bodies were pressed together and Jared's cock was sliding against Jensen's. He'd never felt anything like that perfect heat, the radiating heat, flesh on flesh. Jared pulled back from the kiss and slid his hand down between them, stretching to curl over both their cocks and fumbling with the best pace.

"Oh my god, oh my god," Jensen groaned and dropped his forehead to rest against Jared's, sharing quick panted breaths. "Not gonna- not gonna last, Jared, god."

That was enough to tip Jared over the edge, the deep lust of Jensen's voice sliding like heated fingers down his spine. Jared shuddered and jerked forward, the swell of his release slicking hot and wet between them. His grip around their cocks tightened, his pace slowing, his vision blurring.

When Jensen came, it was with a call of Jared's name, fingers digging hard into Jared's shoulders. Their kisses slowed as the heat of the moment faded, Jared tugging Jensen over to lie on his chest as they settled back on the bed.

If at any point it got awkward between them, Jared thought it might be now. After all, falling in love with your best friend was one thing but sharing something so physical and intimate? Well, that was something else completely and Jared thought it might be a logical time for a freak out.

Then Jensen flopped to the side, arm dropping over Jared's chest, and groaned. "You better not have torn any buttons off my shirt. You know how much I like that one."

It was so normal, so Jensen, that Jared felt the potential awkward tension fade away. He snorted a laugh and pressed a loud, noisy kiss to Jensen's shoulder. "Relax, Princess, I'm sure you'll be able to sew it back on."

"Bitch, for that I declare you go get me food. I will relax here and look pretty until you return." Jensen made a big show of reclining back on the back, tucking his arms under his head and looking like he didn't have a care in the world.

Just because he looked so god damn gorgeous, Jared rolled off the bed to head for the kitchen. Even with post orgasm weak knees.

The smile on Jensen's lips had been a permanent fixture over the last week, so much so his cheeks were starting to hurt. It was pretty easy not to care about how ridiculous he looked, or to put up with the never ending teasing from their friends. Jensen was happier than he could ever remember being and every moment he spent with Jared just made it all the better.

Especially in moments like these, settled into their usual booth, Jensen tucked up against Jared's side. The warmth and comfort of their friends' voices surrounded them in a pleasant bubble, and with Jared's fingers settled on his thigh, it was shooting little sparks of pleasure through every inch of him. Jensen couldn't imagine a better way to spend a Friday night.

"So, how far have you guy's gone?" Danneel asked in a slow drawl, a smirk growing on her lips as she considered Jared and Jensen across the booth.

Jensen's eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly, watching Chris groan, Chad roll his eyes and Sandy perk up expectantly. Judging from the look on Jared's face, Jensen was pretty sure he didn't want his boyfriend answering for him - not if he wanted to keep his blush from staining his entire body and getting even more teased.

"We are not discussing our sex life with you," Jensen protested, elbowing his boyfriend when the boy snickered.

"Oh, so there is a sex life." Danneel's smirk widened into a full-fledged smile and Sandy squeaked excitedly.

"Come on! Just a few little details. A hint." Sandy tapped her fingers on the tabletop, rocking his shoulder hard against Chris' next to hers. "Help the cause Chris."

"No way. I do not want to hear any details, not even the hint of one." Chris slung his arm over Sandy's shoulder, squeezing her tight.

Jensen watched the way Sandy's eyes flickered up to Chris, the longing clear behind her gaze, and felt tempted to give her all the details he could think of. Maybe it would make her feel better.

Jared must have felt somewhere along the same because in the next moment Jensen suddenly found the boy's lips crushed against his own. Jensen sank easily into the kiss, drawing Jared even closer so their tongues could tangle together. Kissing Jared was addictive in the best way and he knew it always would be. They'd spent hours over the last week kissing until their lips were numb, and all they could taste was each other. It still was never enough.

"Alright, alright, enough. Knock it off you two." Chris tossed a fry at them, laughing when Sandy and Danneel rushed to shut him up.

Pulling away with a soft moan, Jensen let his forehead rest against Jared's, breathing in the boy's panted air. Under the table and out of view Jared's fingers squeezed over Jensen's thigh and a shudder of pleasure shook him all over again.

"Damn, I am not even remotely gay and that was hot. Ugh, you fuckers suck," Chad muttered, sliding a little further out of the booth beside Jared like he might do something crazy if he sat any closer.

Jensen felt the all too familiar blush crawl up his cheeks but he grinned up at Jared - then over at Sandy and Danneel - as his fingers settled over Jared's on his thigh and pushed up just a little higher. "Don't worry Chad, there's absolutely no way I'm sharing."

"My boy is too possessive to even consider that." Jared beamed down at Jensen, pressing another soft kiss to his lips before settling back on the bench. "So Chris, when are you gonna shape up and ask Sa--"

"Jared!" Sandy reached across the table and smacked Jared hard on the arm.

There was a bright blush on her cheeks, Chris only looked confused, and Jensen shared a look with Danneel before changing the topic. It would spare his boyfriend more abuse from Sandy and keep things from getting potentially awkward. After all, there was no way of knowing how Chris really felt about Sandy and the group had barely gotten past the last relationship blow up.

"Did anyone else hear that Tom Welling got knocked up? Is there any truth to that or is that just some vicious rumor started by everyone jealous of his super God looks?" Jensen knew there was nothing like a good bit of gossip to get the group's mind off Jared's almost slip up.

"It's completely true, I saw him heaving up his nachos in the middle of the bathroom yesterday." Chad laughed, stuffing fries into his mouth, completely unbothered by the discussion of throwing up. Typical Chad.

There was still a puzzled look on Chris' face but Sandy looked relieved by the distraction and she nodded quickly. "Yeah I heard it was true too. Though apparently he won't admit who knocked him up."

"It's funny, I didn't think he'd be one of the ones," Danneel mused around her straw, shoulders lifting in a shrug. "You know, only certain guys can get knocked up or whatever right? He just doesn't seem like the type."

"I'm not really sure it's that cut and dry. I mean, what if every guy has the possibility to get knocked up but that all depends on if they're gay and if they bottom. And if you are those things you get tested and then get on birth control right?" Jared's words made complete sense but Jensen was having a hard time focusing. Mostly because the boy's fingers were inching further and further up, working over the denim until his finger could slide over the rapidly hardening press of his cock.

"Guess that means you better go get some pills Jenny," Chris teased and laughed, reclining back in the booth.

Jensen wasn't so bothered about this particular teasing. Because the idea of bottoming for Jared? Well it was enough to cause his cock to twitch painfully and Jared press just a little firmer.

"You've been awful happy lately honey, things are better with Jared I take it?"

Jensen jumped, looking up from the sink where he'd been scrubbing dishes. Instinctively his shoulders lifted, hunching in hopes that his mom wouldn't see the dark bruise just at the bottom of his neck. He had warned Jared not to give him a hickey, he'd even gone so far as to threaten him with no kissing if he did, but Jared knew he was too persuasive for Jensen to stick to that. And now there was a dark circle bruise that couldn't be excused to a curling iron - thank you very much Danneel.

"Um yeah, we're good now. Better. Yeah." Jensen blushed and turned back to the dishes, smile growing on his lips. Better was an understatement. Jensen had spent the entire weekend with Jared. Which was nothing new, they usually always spent weekends together and with their friends, but this time it involved kissing and touching and sleeping together naked.

Yeah, definitely better than good.

"Well that's good, I'm glad to hear it." His mom crossed the kitchen and began lifting dishes, drying them and considering Jensen with sideways glances.

Jensen let a few minutes pass in silence - just the clink of dishes and the splash of water - before sighing and looking up at his mom. "What?"

"It's like there's something different about you. Almost like you're glowing... something more you want to tell me?" Her smile was a little knowing and Jensen almost dropped the dish in his hands.

It wasn't that he thought his mom would freak out over his loving Jared like he did - they loved Jared too, in their own way - but they definitely wouldn't understand, and they certainly wouldn't be like Mama who insisted that they be safe and careful but let them stay in the same room because she knew they'd find ways to be together regardless. Mama was always welcoming and accepting and Jensen's parents... they were just a little more conservative was all.

"You're seeing someone aren't you?" His mom finally pressed when Jensen failed to provide any sort of answer. Her hands clasped together in excitement and Jensen was a little scared of the twinkle in her eyes. "Oh who is it honey? Is it Danneel? That girl always did seem really fond of you."

Jensen cringed - he loved Danneel but god, they would not work out well together - and shook his head. "No. No Mom, it's not Danneel. She's just my friend."

"Oh, okay." His mom deflated for a moment - like she'd been picturing Jensen and Danneel together and how cute they could be - before smiling and continuing on. "Well who is she then? Have I met her? You should invite her over."

All the hers were grating at Jensen's nerves and he swallowed thickly, keeping his gaze focused on the dishes in case his mom somehow managed to figure out all the little truths just by looking at him. He didn't want to lie, he wanted to tell his mom how happy Jared made him and how he'd never been more in love with anyone, but he was scared. And he wanted to keep Jared as his own, for a little while at least.

"I'm just not ready to share yet, okay mom?" Jensen asked softly, looking up at her finally and hoping she could understand this much at least. "I really... really care about this person and I just want to enjoy it for a little while. Okay?"

She considered him for too many long tense minutes and Jensen thought that maybe she really had learned to read his mind. But then her smile returned and she reached out to pull him into a hug. "As long as you're being careful honey, and that you're happy, that's all that matters to me."

"I am mom, on both accounts." Jensen pulled back from the hug to smile up at his mom. There was a sinking feeling in his gut, like a warning that something bad was about to happen, but he pushed it away.

After all, his parents would love him no matter what; he was pretty sure about that. Pretty sure.

It was remarkably hard to stay focused on his homework when Jensen was sitting there like that, sucking on the bottom end of his pen, glasses perched on his nose. God, Jensen was always so damn sexy with those glasses on, Jared should really try to convince him to wear them more often. Contacts were overrated.

Jared was pretty sure the homework in front of him wasn't all that important, so watching his boyfriend was completely justified.His boyfriend. It may have already been two weeks but the term was no less thrilling than it had been the first time he'd thought it. Dating Jensen really wasn't all that much different from being his best friend except now their free time included extended make out sessions and hands shoved down the front of jeans.

It was a win/win all around.

When Jensen's tongue flicked out to slide over the bottom of his pen, Jared moaned from the back of his throat. Jensen slowly looked up at him, eyebrows arching in time with the smirk growing on his lips. "Something up Jay?"
“Fuck, you seriously have no idea how hot you are, do you?" Jared slid off the edge of the bed, crawling forward on his knees.

Jensen spun in the computer chair, letting his legs fall open so Jared could settle in between. Almost instantly, Jensen's fingers were carding through Jared's hair, tugging softly on the smooth golden locks. "I know how hot you make me, does that count?"

"Possibly," Jared murmured, dipping in to kiss his way down the perfect curve of Jensen's neck. "Wish I would have figured shit out earlier. We could have been doing this for a long time."

"No point in regretting the past, we have it now right and that's all that matters." The way Jensen's head dipped back to provide even more access to his steadily flushing skin sent a rush of power through Jared. Just knowing he could affect Jensen in any way made his already hard cock twitch in his jeans.

"Mm, you're right." Jared slipped his fingertips under the bottom of Jensen's shirt, pushing the fabric up enough to caress the smooth heat of flesh. "You know what I want to do?" He spoke against the fleshy earlobe, dragging his teeth along the skin.

Jensen moaned deeply, his body rocking up into the heat of Jared's fingers moving over his skin. "Don't care, anything you want."

Smirking at his boyfriend, Jared tugged hard on Jensen's shirt, tossing it across the room a beat later. So far, there had been a lot of touching - nearly every day, exploring each other's bodies with gently sweeping fingertips - but now Jared was ready for a little bit more. In all truth, Jared was probably ready for everything because why should they wait? It wasn't like they didn't know absolutely everything about each other.

But he wanted to learn some of the more physical stuff about Jensen - like this sound here, the gaspy plea that slipped from Jensen as Jared worked his pants open. Jensen was slouched down in the chair, legs spread wide, hips lifting long enough for Jared to drag his jeans and boxers to his knees.

For a long moment, Jared was caught on the sight of Jensen's swollen flesh, the delicious red curve and forming drop of pre-come. Then his curiosity won out and he was dipping down, lapping up the taste of his boyfriend. The loud moan that rose from Jensen this time was better than any Jared had yet to hear, making his heart pick up speed in his chest.

"Oh god, please Jared," Jensen moaned out the words in that deep rich way that made Jared's body tingle. "Suck me."

That was about all the begging Jared could handle. He let his lips part wide and sank down over Jensen's cock, sucking the boy in as far as he could. It wasn't very much but it seemed to be enough to do the trick. Jensen was constantly squirming in the chair, his fingers pulling and tugging at Jared's hair to encourage him on. It was the hottest thing Jared had ever experienced and, considering all the touching they'd done in the last couple of weeks, that was really saying a lot.

"Jared, Jared," Jensen chanted his name roughly, his nails digging into Jared's scalp and dragging over the skin. "Jesus, your mouth, amazing."

The taste of Jensen's flesh exploded across his taste buds and Jared moaned, bobbing slowly along the hard length of him. Jared hadn't spent a whole lot of time imagining sucking someone's cock but he was pretty sure this was perfect. He could see so easily how he could get addicted to this, to the feel of Jensen's cock sliding over his tongue and the salty smear of pre-come over his tongue.

Just about the time Jared was really starting to get into the groove, the feel of heated flesh sliding between his lips, Jensen tugged at his hair and called out a warning about being close. Jared pulled back just enough so he didn't have to worry about choking and relaxed his throat, bracing himself for the rush of Jensen's release.

It was hot and spicy, sliding along his tongue and down his throat. Jared swallowed thickly and closed his eyes, savoring the burst of pleasure and the way his cock ached in his jeans. Talk about a rush of power.

Pulling back, Jared sat on his heels and chased the taste on his lips, smirking up at Jensen who was currently sinking bonelessly into the computer chair. "So how was that?"

"Fan-fucking-tastic," Jensen groaned, snagging Jared's shirt collar and dragging him close. Their lips slid together in hard glides, tongues tangling, bodies colliding as Jensen all but fell out of the chair and collapsed onto him.

It was pretty safe to say they weren't going to get any homework done any time soon.

Part Three

Master Post
Art Master Post

The Circle of Us 1/5 - Jared/Jensen - NC-17

2012-12-02T05:19:36Z

Title: The Circle of Us
Author: anyothergirl415
Artist: bt_kady
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Christian/Sandy
Words: ~30,800
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - underage (the boys are 17), teen pregnancy, mpreg, homophobia
Summary: Jared and Jensen have been friends from Kindergarten and Jensen fell for Jared without meaning too. But coming together, sharing everything for the first time, is the least of the challenges waiting for them in the not too distant future.

There were quite a few gifts Jared received for his seventeenth birthday that fit into the category of epically awesome. Not the least of which being the used Ford Escape his mom had surprised him with; that could definitely fit all of his friends as long as they never told their parents someone had to ride in back without a seat belt. Or if they didn't mind squishing.

Danneel got him a summer pass to Water World - which meant all the water slides Jared could handle - Sandy got him the new fun. CD - which meant bad singing in his new car and it couldn't get much better than that. Chris had been practically beaming as he presented Jared with a starter car kit full of tools and jumper cables and a bunch of other shit Jared didn't know about - which obviously meant he was one of the only people who didn't know he was finally getting a car for his birthday.

All he got from Chad was a couple of candy bars and toothbrush but well, Jared had honestly been surprised to receive anything from the blond so he'd thanked him with a bright grin.

But the best gift - better than the car, the promise of a million trips to the best water park ever, or even really bad singing to too loud music - was the one from his best friend. Jensen had been twitchy and unsure as he offered the package, a nervous smile on his lips - the kind that always made Jared's own smile grow because his best friend was kind of ridiculous. There was no way Jared wouldn't absolutely love anything Jensen got him.

This particular something was so much more than anything Jared could have thought up. It was a scrapbook, the front decorated in a collection of items that would mean something only to them. A torn page from a coloring book - from Kindergarten, that first day when Jensen had shared his Spiderman book - a movie stub - from the first PG-13 film they'd snuck in to see together - candy wrappers that spelled out a bright J and handwritten notes and napkins covered in tic-tac-toe games. Something had been sealed over the items, keeping them in place and safe on the cover of the album and Jared's eyes pinched with tears at the swell of emotion.

"Jen..."

"You haven't even opened it yet," Jensen laughed softly and inched a little closer, reaching out to trace the edge of the mahogany book.

Jared wasn't sure he wanted to look at the rest of the book with all his friends and his mother watching curiously. But Jensen was so eager, his bright green eyes shining with excitement, so he slowly lifted the cover. The scrapbook pages were chronologically ordered, starting with pictures from their childhood, arms thrown around each other, matching shining grins and Ninja Turtle backpacks. There were pictures from their classrooms - one with Sandy, paint smeared on her cheeks; one with Christian in a Peter Pan costume and a deep scowl; another with Danneel and Chad pulling each other's hair.

It was quiet in the living room - probably quieter than it had ever been when all his friends were over - but Jared couldn't tear his eyes from the pictures covering each page he turned. Jensen had always had an artistic eye and the scrapbook clearly reflected that, photos bordered by drawings, stickers, angled in just the right way.

By the time Jared made it to their middle school years there were tears streaming down his cheeks. But the best kind of tears, full of warmth and happiness, and Jared traced a picture of them all dressed up for their first Spring Fling - the one where they'd gone as a group with matching flowers and everything - with a choked laugh.

The last page in the book was covered in photos from just a few weeks before, the Fourth of July, and Jared couldn't stop staring at the image of Jensen looking his way, eyes warm and crinkled at the edges. Something about that particular picture stirred the strangest sensation in his chest but he shrugged it off. The entire book was emotional; it was probably that.

"God, Jen, this is so amazing." Jared flipped to the next page, which was blank, and beamed brightly up at his best friend. "It's not finished?"

"Well, we still have one more year of high school. Pretty sure we'll fill up those last pages by the time it's over." Jensen's smile was the same one in that picture from the Fourth of July and Jared leaned forward to hug the boy before he could question it any further.

"Thank you so much," Jared whispered against the boy's ear and squeezed him tight.

As far as birthdays went, Jared was pretty sure this one was the absolute best.

"That was such a sweet gift Jensen; it must have taken a really long time."

A smile twitched at Jensen's lips as he lifted his shoulder in a shrug, tossing a stack of paper plates into the trash. His eyes drifted to the back door, where he could see Jared tackling Chad into the grass, then back to Mama. "Not too long. I mean, tracking down all the pictures was kind of hard. Thanks for those by the way."

"Lord knows I've been meaning to organize them for years. And you did a better job than I ever could have." Mama stepped forward, pulling Jensen into a tight hug. "You know I'm here for you, if you ever need to talk."

Jensen had first met Sharon Padalecki his second day of Kindergarten, the same day he met Jared Padalecki. She had a bright grin with dimples just like her son and brown curly hair and Jensen could still remember the way she'd shaken his hand with a Hello Jensen, nice to meet you and smelled just like the pink flowers in the park by his house.

It wasn't long after that, that Jensen glued himself to Jared's side and Sharon Padalecki simply became Mama. Jensen called his own mother, Mom, so it wasn't all that hard to give into the name. And it wasn't all that hard now, to know she understood something that he'd never voiced aloud. Never thought he could.

Swallowing thickly, Jensen pulled back and looked up at Mama - just an inch or so, he was definitely growing - barely a hint of a smile on his lips. "Talk about what?"
"Oh, I don't know. The weather." Mama pressed a kiss to his temple and nudged him back. "Will you go stop those boys before they damage one another?"

Jensen laughed and decided to ignore whatever it was Mama was hinting at. He knew what it was, actually, and he wasn't entirely sure how she'd figured it out, but Jared's birthday party was not the time to talk about it.

So he did as she asked, shoving the back door open and shaking his head roughly. "Chad! Don't kill Jared before he has a chance to take us out in his sweet new ride."
There was a wicked sort of gleam to Chad and Jared's gazes as the boys stopped wrestling and turned to face him. Jensen could feel that little burst of heat that he'd learned to associate with Jared a little too often as of late. His palms began to sweat as he took a step back and roughly shook his head.

"No. No way. Don't even. I am warning you guys." Jensen barely managed to swallow the squeak rising up in his throat a beat later when Jared's arms locked hard around his waist, lifting him swiftly off the ground in a quick spin.

Jensen's stomach flipped and twisted in knots he'd rather not think too much about as Jared's hands framed his form and held him close. Sometimes, the way Jared made his heart race, it kind of hurt.

He'd never forget the first time he felt... this.

It was nearly a year ago, exactly. The day before Jared's sixteenth birthday, and Jensen had stayed the night the way he had a million times in the past. It was such a common occurrence they were completely comfortable with each other, even sharing the large King sized bed Mama had needed to purchase when Jared hit three growth spurts, one right after another.

Nothing about that particular night had seemed unusual and maybe it would have stayed that way, maybe Jared would have stayed just his best friend and life would have gone on like normal. But there had been some chocolate smeared on the edge of his lip from the cookies Mama had baked and Jensen hadn't known. Not until Jensen trailed him into the bedroom and his best friend turned with a laugh, reaching out to wipe the chocolate away.

And, for whatever the reason, that one little moment changed absolutely everything. It wasn't as if Jared hadn't taken care of him before - God, this wasn't even that big of a deal - but for some reason Jensen's heart and mind and dick chose that moment to react. All at once, the blood rushed from his ears and down to his crotch. His heart sped up and his cheeks flushed as he watched Jared lick the chocolate from his thumb.

Jared turned away then, carrying on with life as usual, and Jensen... fell. Pretty damn hard.

"Let me guess, thinking about getting a head start on your school reading?" Jared asked with a laugh, setting Jensen down and stumbling back, dizzy from the quick spin.

Schoolwork was the absolute last thing Jensen was thinking about but he wasn't going to tell Jared that. Instead, he gave his best friend a sheepish smile and he lifted his shoulders in an innocent shrug. "Something like that."

Jensen laughed and turned away, chasing after Chad again, and Jensen rode out the little flutter in his chest. Being in love with his best friend wasn't all that bad; at least Jensen got to have the boy in his own special way. Even if it wasn't entirely the way he wanted.

It sucked that summer was pretty much over. Or would be, in less than twelve hours when they were stepping into Wilson West High once more.

There was nothing better than the long stretch of endless days, especially since his birthday and the addition of a vehicle and the Water World pass that they'd used nearly every single day. Jared was pretty sure his ears were permanently waterlogged, but he wouldn't trade a single fucking moment of it.

"Man, this was the best summer ever," Jared sighed wistfully, flopping over on his bed, letting his arm drop over Jensen's chest. "Seriously. Nothing will ever top this summer."

"I'm pretty sure you said that at the end of last summer," Jensen laughed and pushed his arm away, rolling onto his side to face Jared and peering at him through the darkness. "Next summer we'll be celebrating no more high school, you'll turn eighteen, pretty sure all of that is going to be way more epic than Water World."

"Maybe..." Jared mumbled, rolling to face Jensen and inching just a little closer. "Maybe we'll have girlfriends. That'd be pretty awesome."

Silence lingered between them, the kind that didn't happen very often - if ever. He could categorize all of their silences - the intense ones, during epic video game marathons, and the comfortable ones, when they'd used up all their words for the day - and this wasn't one of those. This was... something else. Jared pulled back a little, frowning down at Jensen. There was something he didn't know and when it came to Jensen? That never happened.

"You don't..." Jared rolled his lower lip beneath his teeth, looking away then back. "You would tell me, wouldn't you, if you had a girlfriend? You wouldn't keep something like that secret."

"Jared, don't be an idiot." Jensen huffed a laugh - it didn't sound all that real and Jared's brows drew together - and fell onto his back, eyes closing slowly. "There is no girlfriend."

"Then what is it?" Jared inched closer once more and leaned into Jensen's side, working up the puppy dog eyes that always got him his way. Jensen called them lethal and Jared could tell by the way his best friend was purposefully looking away that whatever he wasn't saying had to be pretty big.

It made Jared nervous, knowing Jensen had a secret from him, and he couldn't even say why.

"Come on Jen. You gotta tell me. I'll never be able to sleep. Come on. Come on. Please?" Jared nuzzled against Jensen's shoulder, tickling the boy's side a moment later. When all else failed - including the killer puppy dog eyes - always go for the tickling.

Jensen squirmed and huffed and tried not to laugh - Jared could tell by the way he kept making those funny little squeaks. "Damn it Jared, fucking knock it off. I will shave your hair off!"

"You would never, you love my hair." Jared sighed and dropped back, pouting at his best friend. "Or maybe you don't love me at all anymore. We don't keep secrets from each other."

"I don't want a girlfriend," Jensen spat with a little more force than Jared expected.

Sure, he'd been laying it on a little thick but Jensen didn't have to get all testy with him. And then, Jensen's words sank in, and Jared slowly blinked his eyes open and sat up. There were a lot of things that could be meant by those words but there was nothing he knew like he knew Jensen and to Jared, the implication was obvious. "You, um... okay. So... when did you figure this out? I mean, that you're, you know."

"Gay?" Jensen whispered, pulling his legs up to his chest and tugging them in close. When he spoke again his head was tucked between his knees, the words barely loud enough for Jared to hear. "Been a while, I guess."

"A while? Jesus, Jen, why didn't you say anything?" For some reason, knowing Jensen kept such a huge secret from him made Jared's blood boil. He slid off the edge of the bed and paced across his room, remembering just in time not to make too much noise. The last thing he needed was Mama lecturing them about getting a good night's sleep before their first day back. "This is not the type of thing you keep from your fucking best friend."

"I was scared you'd freak out."

Jared stopped pacing and spun to Jensen, eyes wide. "Seriously? Why the hell would you think I'd do that?"

"Uh, maybe because that's exactly what you're doing right now." Jensen finally stopped whispering, pushing off the bed to stand as well and reaching out quickly for his shirt. "I think I'm just gonna go home."

"Wait, Jen, come on. I just... you surprised me is all. I had no idea. Not a fucking clue that you were into guys." Jared's frown deepened when Jensen stopped and looked up, a flash of hurt crossing his face and disappearing so quick he thought he had to be seeing things. "Jensen... you know I would never judge you about something like that. I love you; you're like the most important person in my life. Being gay totally doesn't change that."
Jensen considered him for a very long and silent minute and Jared felt his gut swirling unpleasantly. How could Jensen even doubt Jared's words, after so many years of friendship? Jensen was like his brother, only more than that, something Jared could never even name.

"Please Jensen, I swear I didn't mean to freak out, you've gotta believe me." Jared lifted his arms, hands raised out like whenever he tried to approach Chris' mutt dog that was the most skittish thing Jared had ever seen.

Then - and finally - a slow smile stretched across Jensen's lips and he laughed, head tipping back with his forward sway. "Oh, my God."

Dude, you suck." Jared dropped his hands and pouted, rubbing his sweaty palms over his thighs. Jensen had really freaked him out, made him think he'd really fucked things up by being completely shocked over his best friend's preferences.

Okay, not completely shocked, but Jared couldn't really think about that right now.

"Just, your face," Jensen snorted a laugh and fell back onto the bed, laying fingers over his eyes. "You were totally losing it. I should have made you feel guiltier; maybe I could have gotten something out of it."

"I hate you." Jared fell down beside Jensen on the bed, a little exhausted now that the relief was washing through him. Jensen snorted a laugh again and Jared elbowed his side. "Man seriously. I have blackmail on you. Bathtub. Tutu. Nail polish."

Jensen abruptly stopped laughing; rolling over and slapping his hand hard enough over Jared's lips, it caused them to tingle. Not altogether unpleasantly. "Okay. I get it. And you're not freaking out?"

It probably wasn't meant to be a question but as Jensen's hand drew back, Jared could see the uncertainty in those familiar green eyes. It brought a small smile to Jared's lips and he leaned in, sliding his arms around Jensen and tugging him in for a tight hug. Jared thought maybe it should be a little weird - they were both in boxers and t-shirts, hugging in his bed in the dark, after his best friend had just come out of the closet - but it wasn't.

That was another one of those things Jared should probably not think about. Changing topics was probably the best idea.

"So, got your eye on some guy?" Jared asked without releasing Jensen, squeezing him tight and smirking into the boy's shoulder.

"Hell no, we are not going there." Jensen pulled back and shoved at Jared but there was a wide grin on his lips. "Did you know you're kind of awesome?"

"Only always."

As it turned out, being a senior wasn't all that different from being a Junior. The classes were about the same level of challenging - though maybe just a little bit more, mostly because it wasn't harder to care - and the teachers treated you with that same generic indifference. Chris got a thrill out of bossing freshmen around and scaring the shit out of them, and Danneel had mini-me's in training who followed her around like the perfect lemmings.

For the most part though, it was just the same as ever, including his friendship with Jared. Some part of Jensen had thought maybe things would change, once he'd confessed to liking guys - maybe he'd harbored some secret idea that Jared would suddenly confess the same thing and they'd... do stuff. But none of that had happened, not the bad or the good. It was just life as usual.

"I swear to Allah and everything holy, Mrs. O'Brien gets hotter every single year," Chad sighed dramatically, dropping heavily in the seat across from Jensen and letting his lunch tray slam loudly on the table.

Jensen choked on his too-dry pasta, eyes watering even when Jared clapped him hard on the back. "Gross, Chad. She's like seventy," Jensen grumbled around lingering coughs, waving Jared off before he could smack him once more. "Brain rape."

Seventy or not, that woman is fine and I would let her teach me all sorts of lessons. Mainly with her ruler. Bent over her desk. If you get what I'm saying." The waggle of Chad's eyebrows was completely unnecessary and Jensen was pretty sure he was going to be sick.

"You are a disgusting and foul person Chad Michael. I can't believe I choose to associate with you," Danneel sighed and brushed long red hair over her shoulder.

"Just goes to show what a kind and generous person you are," Sandy patted Danneel's shoulder comfortingly and Jensen smirked over at Jared, both ducking down to stifle their laughter.

The funny thing about Chad was his ability to say some of the most vile, filthy shit Jensen had ever heard then in the same breath, be ridiculously sensitive. He was maybe the most easily offensive person Jensen had ever met and it never stopped being funny. He was pretty sure it was one of the major reasons they kept Chad around. And, well, he was a good friend when you really needed one.

"I vote topic change. Let's discuss how Jensen's gay and Jared somehow didn't know, thought it was probably the most obvious thing ever." Chris smirked their way, sending a bright blush almost instantly up Jensen's cheeks.

He really didn't need everyone discussing this, because the four people at this table excluding Jared had known him nearly as long and they didn't have Jared's best friend goggles. They weren't as oblivious as he would have liked - at least, not at all of them - and Jensen would rather not have someone else confessing secrets that were his to keep.

"Or how about the Back to School dance? We going together again this year? Or have any of you actually managed to scrounge up dates?" Jensen quickly steered the conversation onto something else, shooting a glare at Chris just in case he was one of those not-so-oblivious ones.

The Back to School dance was a step down from the Winter Formal or Prom, dressing up wasn't even required. But usually the dancing was fun - especially when they were dancing as a group and Jensen didn't have to be jealous over anyone in particular - and afterward they always shared burgers and fries at The Shack. Which was maybe one of the more shady diners in town but it had been their go-to food joint for three years and counting.

So Jensen always looked forward to it and this year would be their last, so they had to make it their best.

"Actually, um, I guess this is something I should probably do in private but uh, I was kind of thinking of asking Sandy," Jared muttered, ducking his head down so his hair fell and covered the blush on his cheeks.

Jensen - who had just been in the middle of considering what they might do this year to make it even better than the three years before - had never felt anything like the way his heart dropped heavy in his chest. It was quiet at the table and Jensen was afraid to look at anyone because there had to be something like heartbreak in his eyes.

"Wow, never knew this was the magic way to get you all to shut up at once," Jared laughed in that nervous, shy, adorable sort of way he had.

Jensen's heart panged and he knew it wouldn't be long before Jared freaked out, got all upset. This was his best friend and Jensen had no right to be selfish about any of this. So, Jared wanted to go to the dance with Sandy; that was fine, Jensen could go by himself. Or with Chris, Chad and Danneel. Yeah, Jensen could totally handle that.

"I think you just surprised us is all," Jensen finally managed to pull himself together, looking up and giving Jared the best friend smile. He wasn't sure if Jared could tell that it didn't hold all the warmth it usually did but he hoped not. "Um... maybe we should give you two some time to talk?"

Before anyone else could answer, Jensen pushed up and grabbed his tray, a little relieved when he saw Chad doing the same. He looked up long enough to watch the blonde boy slip Jared a thumbs up and well, honestly Jensen hadn't expected Chad to be one of the one's who'd already figured it out but still... it kind of hurt.

"Jen?" Jared grabbed his arm before he could turn away and Jensen made himself freeze though he was so tempted to turn around and flee. When the boy spoke again, his voice was quiet, just loud enough for them, and that ache in Jensen's heart burned. "It's okay right? That I wanna ask her I mean... just thought, it might be nice. To have an official date and all."

Jared's words were like a punch in the gut and Jensen closed his eyes and pulled free from the too warm fingers on his arm. "Yeah. I get it. You do what you want. Maybe I won't even go."

"You have to go, though. Hey, maybe you can ask someone too. We could double date," Jared suggested brightly, forgetting that Sandy was still at the table waiting to have whatever conversation was to follow.

Jensen could tell himself all he wanted that he was going to be a good best friend and support Jared. It was the right thing to do and all, but he really hadn't anticipated the way his heart was going to hurt so badly. There were tears in his eyes when he finally forced them open and looked down at Jared, sad smile on his lips. "Pretty sure anyone I'd want to ask is not interested. See you later, Jay."

With that, he finally gave in to the urge to flee, turning from Jared and Sandy and their usual lunch table and walking swiftly across the Quad. Danneel was waiting for him by the large double doors that led inside and he fell into her side as a thin arm hooked over his shoulder.

"Sorry, Jen," she breathed softly, pressing a kiss to his temple.

It didn't surprise him that Danneel knew, but it didn't really make it any easier.

A frown pulled at Jared's lips as he watched Jensen tuck up against Danneel's side, head ducked down, shoulders hunched. He didn't really understand what Jensen had meant by saying no one would be interested. Jensen was a good-looking guy. At least, Jared was pretty sure Jensen was good looking. It wasn't like Jared was the right person to judge those kinds of things.

But Jensen did have those pouty lips, everyone enjoyed lips like those. And there were all those freckles covering the bridge of his nose and his cheeks, Jared had watched them steadily appear over the years and they were kind of adorable. Also, Jensen's hair was always really soft and silky, Jared could imagine the way it would run so easily through his fingers, the perfect combination of warm and gentle.

Or, someone else's fingers, not Jared's. Why would he think about caressing Jensen's hair?

"Jared?" Sandy was the only one left at the table with him but Jared had kind of forgotten she was there, too distracted wondering about Jensen's strange exit.

He blinked a few times then looked down at the girl, reminding himself to smile after a minute. It had seemed so important, just a few minutes before, to have a date to the dance. Now everything felt so strange and he couldn't even figure out why this had mattered so much.

"So um, are you really going to ask me to the dance?" Sandy asked a little breathless, hands fluttering back through his hair.

Jared thought maybe she was excited, or nervous, or whatever it was girls got whenever they were about to be asked out. But when he looked over at the girl her face was red, small frame shifting uncomfortably along the chair.

It hit him then that this wasn't about to play out the way he had hoped it would. Or at least was so sure it would. Jared frowned and rubbed fingers back through his hair. "You're going to say no aren't you?"

"Jared... it's not that I don't like you. It's just, you know, I like someone else, even if he's maybe not interested. And then there's the whole Jensen thing." Sandy sighed, turning toward him with a small smile. "Please don't let things get weird between us, okay? You're one of my best friends and I don't want that to change."

"It won't, nothing will change, I promise." Jared smiled and well, he wasn't really lying. Actually, Jared was only a little disappointed that Sandy said no, which was probably weird. "Wait, what Jensen thing?"

"Oh honey, it really is a good thing you're so cute." Sandy laughed softly and laid her hand on Jared's arm, squeezing softly as she pushed up to her feet and dipped down to kiss his cheek.

Jared frowned; maybe this was why he was okay with Sandy not wanting to go. Girls were so damn confusing sometimes. "Who's the someone else? That you think isn't interested?"

"It... doesn't matter. Tell you what though, when you figure things out with yourself, I'll let you in on my secrets. See you later Jay."

Jared turned to watch her leave, considering why it suddenly felt like everyone else knew something that he hadn't. He knew that sometimes he could be a little oblivious about some things; people tended to tease him about that pretty often, but usually someone took pity and filled him in on whatever major thing he was missing.

Usually that someone was Jensen.

"God, seriously," Jared groaned, finally pushing up to leave the lunch table as well. There was no way he'd be able to focus in his afternoon classes if he didn't have some pieces of the puzzle in place. Jared didn't do confusion very well.

The warning bell signaling five minutes to class sounded just as Jared had finally tracked down his best friend. Relief washed through him as he watched the boy lingering at his locker, like maybe he was waiting for Jared. Which he wasn't, of course, and Jared wasn't really sure why that would matter either way.

"Man, you'd tell me if I'm missing something major right?" Jared said by way of a greeting, slumping against the locker beside Jensen's.

The boy jumped and looked wide eyed up at Jared, gaze flickering beyond his shoulder then back. "Where's Sandy?"

"I don't know, class probably." Jared shrugged and reached out, picking at the fraying hem of his shirt. "So, something major? Am I being stupid again?"

"You're-" Jensen sighed and stepped back, shutting his locker and shrugging. Jared frowned at the way Jensen wouldn't lift his eyes, and was shifting back like he was ready to bolt. "Look, don't worry about it okay? I'll see you later."

In the next moment, Jensen was spinning on his heels and weaving through the thick throng of teenagers. And yeah, maybe Jared was a little oblivious sometimes, but he'd have to be an idiot to not realize that something was definitely wrong.

Waiting for Jared after school was something he always did, so natural and normal that it took actual force to move himself from the front steps. He just wasn't sure he could handle spending the afternoon with Jared, hearing him gush about his and Sandy's plans for the dance. He didn't want to know how much Jared liked Sandy or if he planned to kiss her - or more - and it fucking sucked that this was expected of him as the best friend.

Walking home was strange and Jensen kept his eyes down on the sidewalk because he was a little worried he'd trip over something. Or maybe just worried that he'd catch Jared's eye from the distance and have to see how the obvious brush off would hurt the boy.

Falling in love with your best friend sucked.

"Hey, Jen." Sandy's arm looped through his, pacing quickening to keep up with Jensen's almost jog. "What's up?"

Jensen wasn't technically running away, that would be such a pussy thing to do, and well it didn't matter anyway because here was Sandy. The problem with having the same friends for the good majority of your life was their uncanny ability to read your emotions so easily. Jensen could tell Sandy was eyeing him with sympathy and sadness, no matter how casual she was pretending to be.

"I'm fine," Jensen muttered, slowing his pace a little, as they reached the edge of the school grounds.

"Um, hmm. You know I said no," Sandy murmured, leaning her head on Jensen's shoulder, sighing softly. "To Jared."

Jensen frowned and stopped, pulling back from the girl and turning to face her knowing dark eyes. Apparently, she was one of the not-so-oblivious ones, go figure. "You didn't have to do that."

"Oh yeah and spend the entire evening watching you make heartbroken puppy dog eyes at him and feel like a complete bitch? No thanks." Sandy laughed and reached out, brushing a few specs of dirt from his shirt. "There's someone else I'm holding out on anyway, hoping he'll wise up and ask me himself."

"Chris wise up? Yeah, that'll happen, right after Jared comes waltzing out of the closet professing his undying love for me." It sounded bitter - probably a little too harsh, judging from the way Sandy's delicately shaped eyebrow arched up - and Jensen's frown deepened.

"Well then there's hope for me yet." Sandy finally laughed, stepping in and throwing her arms around Jensen in a tight hug. "He'll figure it out Jensen, trust me. And if not then, we'll help him along."

Jensen was pretty sure the last thing he wanted was their crazy group of friends intervening for them. Sure, Jensen would give anything to have Jared look at him with love and adoration that went beyond friendship but not if someone was making him feel that way. Jensen was pretty damn smart in all things Jared, the boy could be convinced he really wanted to mop the floor while singing Justin Bieber if you talked to him just right.

"Jensen!" Whenever Jared said his name, Jensen had to stop himself from shivering. The rush of warmth it sent through him was a little unnerving honestly and even now - when he was trying to avoid his best friend - he felt the swell of heat.

"I can't see him right now," Jensen whispered in a rush to Sandy, grabbing her hand and giving her pleading eyes. "I just... I just need some time, to get my head on straight. Please?"

"Jen... you shouldn't..." Sandy sighed and glanced toward Jared who was quickly heading their way before nodding and shoving Jensen back. "Go on. I'll come up with an excuse."

"Thank you. Just for a little while I swear." Jensen spared a quick finally glance at his best friend - who was grinning with those dimples, the kind Jensen sometimes pretended were meant for him alone - before turning and running off.

Isn't it strange, the way things can change, life that you lead-

Jensen hit the side of his phone to stop the ring from playing any further. The moment the call connected to voicemail, he lifted the device, quickly turning off the volume. Jensen didn't bother looking up because he was pretty sure his entire family had to be eyeing him curiously. After all, they might have a rule about not taking calls during dinner but Jared was the one exception to it.

His parents usually didn't care so much if he answered just long enough to tell Jared it was dinnertime and he'd call him back. That honestly kind of sucked because Jensen couldn't even use the meal as a logical excuse for ignore Jared's call. This one, that is. There was no way he'd come up with a convincing lie for ignore the previous five that had come before dinner.

Jared: dude stop ignoring me!! whats going on??

Jensen blinked down at the new text and his heart twisted unpleasantly. Why was it hitting him so hard now all of a sudden? God, Jensen had been in love with Jared for over a year and he'd dealt with it just fine.

"Are you and Jared having a fight, honey?" His mom finally asked a few minutes later after Jensen managed to turn his gaze away from the phone and pick at his meal once more.

God, this was so not something Jensen could explain to his parents. They loved him, he knew it, but there were some things they could never understand, and his feelings for Jared definitely fit into that category. Actually, the entire gay didn't fit into that category but that was something he was currently not thinking about.

Like Jared, for instance.

"Nah, it's nothing. We just... I just need a break." Jensen ducked his head down even further, too close to his plate of food to really eat, but he needed to hide somehow. Need a break, who the hell said that about their best friend?

"Alright, well, I'm sure you two will be just fine." His mom dismissed it easily and the conversation at the table shifted onto something else - his mother's day, his father's most recent client, his sister's school project. But Jensen couldn't focus on any of the normal stuff.

All he could think about was Jared, the phone calls and text messages he was pretending weren't mocking him on his cell, and the harsh reminder this entire Sandy thing was. That's what it really boiled down to, this whole avoiding Jared thing.

Because Jared was seventeen now and was wanting to be with someone - a girl, someone who wasn't Jensen - and it was going to be a more pressing urge than ever. Who wanted to be their age and a virgin? It sucked. Everything sucked.

Jared: Jensen? Ur freaking me out. Please?

"Can I be excused?" Jensen asked quietly, already pushing back from the table as soon as his dad said it was okay. He held his thumb over the phone until the device shut down and tried to ignore the guilt that stirred up in him.

"Jensen! God, dude, I've completely been freaking out!" Jared dodged around a swarm of freshmen, entirely too relieved at the sight of his best friend standing in front of his open locker.

Jensen looked up at the sound of his name and Jared's smile grew, trying not to shove the much smaller boy that was standing between him and the path forward. For a moment their eyes met, Jared watched the bright green of Jensen's widen before the boy was suddenly spinning and all but running off down the hall. Jared's heart sank, something unpleasant twisting in his gut as he watched his best friend disappear into the crowd.

Because it was one thing to rationalize last night - Sandy had said Jensen had a family emergency and had to run off, and that family emergency could have easily kept Jensen from answering the phone or returning his texts. But this? There was no denying that Jensen was avoiding him now, fleeing from Jared as if the idea of even a simple hello was terrifying.

It made Jared feel a little sick.

How could you be best friends with someone almost your entire life and suddenly have everything change in less than twenty-four hours? Jared didn't even understand what he'd done wrong or what would cause Jensen to suddenly treat him like he had the plague.

His first class was with Jensen, Human Health, so Jared decided he would just head there now. Jensen couldn't avoid class forever and they sat right beside each other, Jensen would have to give in and talk to him eventually.

Maybe just long enough for Jared to apologize for whatever idiot thing he'd done to upset Jensen.

But, as the clock ticked closer to the final bell and Jared kept his eyes glued on the classroom door, his last little hope seemed to fade away. Jared's heart was heavy in his chest, his palms damp with sweat, and he was pretty sure he was going to burst into tears right there in the middle of class. That would be so beyond pathetic, Jared couldn't even go there.

Just as the bell rang, Jensen slipped into the class, skirting past their teacher and quickly taking his seat as far from Jared as he could. The way Jared's heart sped up again was unnerving and he shifted closer, dropping his voice in the lowest whisper he could.

"Jen? Please talk to me? What did I do wrong?" Jared reached out, laying his hand over Jensen's arm and squeezing tightly.

Jensen's eyes lifted to his and Jared was a little shocked by the sadness there. It was like Jensen was really hurting, the green of his eyes glistening with unshed tears, and Jared sucked in a quick surprised breath.

"Alright, everyone settle down. Today we're going to be discussing the male reproductive system. Specifically pregnancies and how the evolution of man's body has changed over the years to allow for these rare pregnancies to happen," Mrs. Hughes spoke loudly over the groans of the classroom, turning toward the board to start writing.

Jared's hand on Jensen's arm tightened but the warmth beneath his fingers faded a moment later as Jensen slowly pulled away. The boy was staring intently down at his open Health book, like learning about male pregnancies was the most fascinating thing imaginable, but Jared couldn't get himself to look away.

It felt like the answer to everything was there, just under the surface of his understanding, and Jared wasn't entirely sure he was ready for whatever it might be.

Four days.

Four days of avoiding his best friend and the boy he was completely head over heels in love with and Jensen thought he was maybe losing his mind. He spent his lunchtime hiding in the library, tucked behind bookshelves and eating as fast as he could just in case he needed a quick break away. Jensen had seven out of eight classes with Jared, all of which he usually sat beside him, and Jensen had never been almost late to so many classes, skirting in just when the bell rang.

In the end - when Jensen looked back on this time with a bitter taste in the back of his mouth - Jensen would never be able to say how he'd managed to avoid Jared for as long as he did. They were the longest, most painful days of Jensen's life and he could barely make his rationale for staying away stick.

He kept thinking, one more day. One more day and he'd stop loving Jared so much, it would stop hurting knowing Jared would never feel the same. But even after four days, the feelings weren't lessening in the slightest and Jensen wasn't ready to accept the idea of what that might mean. Like maybe he'd have to cut Jared out of his life entirely, and Jensen wasn't entirely sure he could actually do that.

"I wish you two would just kiss and make up already," Danneel sighed and leaned into Jensen's side, reaching out to snag some fries from his plate.

Jensen scrunched his face up and shifted against the squishy seat. The Shack had the best booths, all worn in and comfortable, and Jensen couldn't begin to count how many hours they'd spent occupying them. Tonight felt weird though, the tension of the last few days hanging heavy over the group.

He'd kind of forgotten how he and Jared being at odds could affect the rest of their group. No one had called either of them on it - not directly at least - but Jensen was pretty sure they all knew by now what was going on. Except Jared, who was always the last one to catch up on the most important things.

"It's never gonna happen," Jensen muttered and dipped his own fries into the ranch puddle on his plate, more than ready for the distraction of greasy food. "I just need to get over... everything. And it'll get better, I promise."

"Bull shit. You two need to get your shit together and profess your undying love already," Chris groaned, balling up the wrapper from his fries and tossing it at Jensen. "I am fucking sick of the emo."

Jensen knew the feeling, he was sick of the emo too. He was sick of missing his best friend and sick of loving him far more than he should. "I know, I know. How do I make it better though? It's not like I can make him love me like that."

"Well maybe if you'd stop being such a chicken shit you could have a legit conversation and actually work out some of the hormonal angst you're both reeking of." Chad slumped back on the bench beside Chris, across from Jensen, and if he weren’t so right Jensen probably would have been more annoyed.

It really was his own damn fault that the group dynamics were so off. Maybe if Jensen could just suck it up, stuff all those feelings back down to that secret place he'd kept them secretly tucked away for more than a year, they could go back to having their usual awesome Friday nights. Now Jared wasn't even here and Jensen felt the absence like an ache in his chest.

He was sure they all felt it. They always sat in the back booths at The Shack, where the benches were wide enough to fit three, and even the waitress had looked a little confused when they'd settled in minus one. Sandy, Chris, and Chad sat on one side, Danneel beside Jensen on the other and no matter how much he fidgeted, there was no way to make that space disappear.

"God, I hate my life," Jensen groaned and fell forward, dropping his head down hard on the diner table.

If Jensen had been sitting up he probably would have realized something was about to happen. Maybe he should have paid a little more attention to whomever it was that kicked his ankle. At least then, he would have had some kind of warning.

"Jensen. We need to talk."

Sitting up in a flash, Jensen blinked his eyes open and lifted them to the boy at their side. For a moment his gaze lingered on Jared's thin tapered waist before dragging up, fixing on sad hazel gazing down on him. Jensen swallowed thickly and tore his gaze away, scanning over the nervous anticipation on their friend's faces.

"Can we go outside please?" Jared slid his hands into his pockets, frown tugging his lips down.

And finally, Jensen could no longer dodge and ignore his best friend. He felt the guilt of the last few days weigh heavily on his shoulders and he had no choice but to nod and slowly slide to the edge of the bench. Jared stepped back to give Jensen room to stand but somehow Jensen still felt the heat of his body like a magnet he couldn't pull away from.

"Play nice!" Chris hollered after them, and though it was meant to be a joke, Jensen couldn't help noticing the warning.

It wasn't like he really thought they would get into some type of fight. Jensen could never physically hurt Jared - but the emotional hurt was sometimes so much worse. The door of The Shack squeaked as it fell closed behind them, too loud to Jensen's already frayed nerves.

"I don't know what I did..." Jared whispered, slowly walking across the parking lot, his feet shuffling over the gravel-covered pavement. "I can't figure out why I've pissed you off so much."

"You didn't do anything." Jensen's heart did that unpleasant clench twist again and he slid a step forward, hovering a few inches back just to be safe. The urge to touch Jared was pressing, overwhelming, but Jensen wasn't sure where they stood. Their entire friendship was up in the air and Jensen hated it. "It's all... it's my fault."

"Is it? Because I mean, it sure doesn't seem like anything really happened. I've spent all week trying to figure it out and I know I'm missing something pretty damn major." Jared finally tore his hands from his pockets and shoved his hands through his hair, spinning quickly to Jensen. "It started after I asked Sandy right? You didn't want me to ask her? Because she said no, so I don't even know why it matters."

"God, it's not- Jared. I'm sorry, okay? I've been stupid about everything I know and I wish I could explain it. But it's... god it's complicated." Jensen was running out of anything plausible to use as an excuse and he knew it. Not to mention the fact that Jensen could never pull off a lie, not when it came to someone who'd known him so long.

"Complicated is not a reason to give me the fucking cold shoulder for a week, Jensen." Jared's hand flailed out causing Jensen to step back to miss the swing. He'd always loved how passionate Jared could get about things but it wasn't so great being on the receiving end.

"It was only four days," Jensen muttered, ducking his head when Jared scoffed loudly. "I really am sorry."

"Well you're gonna have to give me more than that. God Jen, do you realize how fucking lonely I've been? You're my best friend-"

"I don't want to be!" Jensen yelled out, interrupting Jared, eyes shooting up long enough to watch the boy's mouth and eyes widen in shock. There was a definite flash of hurt over his features so Jensen continued because that was really the only choice. Might as well go all out, there was no hiding the truth now. "Goddamnit, Jared...you can be so stupid sometimes. It's so fucking obvious I don't know how you've never put it together."

Jared's fingers curled into fists at his sides but Jensen was more caught by the look on his face. It was that adorable, puzzled little look he got whenever he was so close to figuring something out but couldn't quite make it click. It made Jensen's heart twist again. "Would you just spell it out for me already? Because this shit is really starting to-"

"I'm in love with you," Jensen interrupted once more, this time in a quiet rush, the words falling from his lips even as he desperately wished he could pull them back. This time he couldn't make himself look up at Jared, too afraid of the expression on his face; he just pressed on because he had to get it all out and be done with it, even if it meant losing Jared for good. "I was hurt that you wanted to ask Sandy because I wanted you to ask me. And, and even though she said no it made me realize how hard it is to be in love with your best friend for a year and never have him feel the same. So I thought I'd just pull away for a while, get over it, then we'd be better."

"You... what?" Jared was clearly shocked, his voice quiet and breathy, and out of the corner of his eye Jensen could see the familiar slide of fingers through hair. "Holy shit. This is... god I had no idea. This is... damn it! Jensen, how could you keep something like this from me?"

Jensen had never tried to guess how Jared might react if he found out the truth about his feelings but he was pretty sure anger never would have come into it if he had. Jensen swallowed thickly and forced his gaze up, unsure by the haywire of emotions on Jared's face. "I didn't want things to change between us. How was I supposed to tell you?"

"You didn't want things to change? I mean, fuck, Jensen, we sleep in the same bed! We share damn near everything! And you just kept this from me?" Jared shook his head roughly and stepped back, holding up a hand when Jensen moved forward to follow. "Just, leave me alone. I need some time. I need to figure shit out."

Watching Jared walk away after Jensen had poured out his entire heart had definitely never been an outcome he'd anticipated. For some reason, Jensen had thought Jared would accept him no matter what, and maybe they wouldn't sleep in the same bed together anymore but they'd still be best friends. He'd definitely never thought Jared would just... leave.

"Jensen?" Danneel's whisper of his name came countless minutes later, after Jared had already slid behind the wheel of his car and driven off in a squeal of tires on pavement.

Jensen turned slowly and blinked at his group of friends, the four people he'd relied on so many times through every twist and turn in his life. Minus one, the most important one. Jensen opened his mouth to answer but all that came out was a pained sob.

Part Two

Master Post
Art Master Post

Eighteen Months to Life - NC-17 - Sam/Dean

2012-11-08T15:38:37Z

Title: Eighteen Months to Life
Author: anyothergirl415
Artist: le_petit_bazar
Words: ~9,000
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - AU (pre-series), minor character death, violence
Summary: Their bond was always deeper than that of ordinary brothers. So it really wasn't a surprise that Sam would go above and beyond to save Dean's life.

Author's Note: Written for spn_reversebang for the most awesome le_petit_bazar who was a great support to me in the writing process! Thank you so so much to kelleigh for betaing this fic for me, nit picking when I really needed it, and generally being awesome!

Art Post go leave le_petit_bazar some awesome comments!

Read/Download on AO3

~2005~

There was a loud clatter from not-so-far away and Dean ducked his head, trying to make himself both invisible and strong all at once. Life could be shit – Dean had seen some of the worst of it – but living in this place was a whole new level of god damn awful. Dean grew up having the upper hand against ghosts and monsters and shit that went bump in the night. He’d never had to deal with people like this.

“Move it, pretty boy, ain’t got all day.” The prisoner waiting behind him huffed impatiently, knocking hard into Dean’s back.

Dean bit his tongue to keep from telling the big, beefy man with no hair and too many tattoos just how much time he really had when locked up twenty-four-seven. Instead, he shuffled forward, snatching the phone up and eagerly dialing Sam’s number. He lived for these little moments, one phone call a week, hearing Sam’s voice through the line like a balm over fresh wounds.

“Thank God, Dean,” Sam answered in a rush before the end of the first ring, like he’d been clutching his phone and desperately waiting for this moment.

Dean knew it was later than his usual call but a fight had broken out earlier; the jail had been in lockdown until after lunch. “Sorry, got caught up in my needlework. How’s school?”

Sam sighed and Dean wasn’t entirely sure why he kept making jokes, like that would somehow make things easier on them. “I’ve been doing some research; I think we can file an appeal for your case.”

“I signed a deal, Sam. Pretty sure that means no appeal,” Dean sighed, glancing over his shoulder as the asshole from before grunted impatiently.

“That whole thing was fucked up. The death sentence shouldn’t even have been on the table. And the lawyer the state gave you was an idiot who wouldn’t know proper justice if it smacked him in the face. Deal or not, you deserve an appeal.”

“Time’s up, pretty boy,” the asshole growled, too close to Dean who could feel rancid breath as a heated rush over his ear.

“Just give me a second,” Dean snapped, inching away from the man and turning back to the phone in his grasp. “There’s no point, Sam. God, you know what they have against me.”

“And what? I’m supposed to be okay with never being with you again?” Sam’s tone was clipped, a harsh slap that was painful.

“Hang up, fag, before I make you.”

It was probably the buildup of everything – the bullshit trial that had ended in a deal to spare Dean’s life, Sam never leaving well enough alone, the fear of living in a place where he had to watch his back twenty four seven – that finally caused him to snap. Dean’s arm shot out and he threw all his force behind it, slamming the man hard against the metal bars.

Sam was still on the line, could probably hear the smack of flesh as Dean’s fist crunched into the large man’s nose and shattered cartilage. The cheers of their fellow inmates echoed around them as the man staggered back, calling out a string of curses. The guards were closing in and Dean knew he barely had a moment to reach out and snatch the phone, pressing the plastic hard to his ear.

“I love you, Sam,” Dean whispered in a rush, sucking in a quick breath as the man dove forward and crushed him up against the wall.

Dean fought back with everything he had – his fist driving into the man’s large gut, his heel digging into the flesh of a calf – until the guards pulled sharply on his arms. Dean spit blood from his mouth; his jaw ached where the man had landed a blow. The other inmates were riled up like they always were at the sight of blood, and Dean had a whole new understanding of what he’d have to do to survive in this place.

This was a whole new level of Hell, and Dean was only three months into a life sentence.

~Now~

Someone was watching him cross the yard and it made Dean's shoulders tense up. Damnit. He didn't want another fight. Didn't want another session in solitary. Sometimes he was pretty sure the guards threw him in the dark silence for days on end because they were jealous.

Not a lot of people had the kind of quiet, calm, masterful presence he'd established over the last eighteen months. Dean didn't want to control his fellow inmates, but he'd made it pretty damn clear that he wasn't someone to be fucked around with. It was the only way to survive in this place - hurting people wasn't like hunting supernatural shit, no matter what Dean tried to tell himself.

"What's up, boss? Need a hand? Should I get you something?" Twitchy Mike fidgeted at Dean’s side in that way he always did. He used to be a druggie, before he got locked up for trying - and failing - to rob a jewelry store; now he just suffered through the need for a fix, and he would always be someone's lemming.

"Don't call me boss," Dean grunted and turned slowly, keeping his gaze up because searching for the conflict wasn't going to get him very far. "Gonna go in for a minute, watch my back, yeah?"

"Okay yeah, yeah sure boss." Twitchy Mike nodded and scratched under his ear, through his hair, over his chest.

Dean rolled his eyes and crossed the yard, only vaguely aware of the path that was created for him. It didn't hurt to have the kind of reputation that scattered people, not in a place like this. But he couldn't shake the feeling that someone was keeping a closer eye on him than necessary. And maybe Dean didn't want to fight anyone, but he would if he had to, if someone happened to forget just how much power he held.

As he stepped around the corner, his breath slowly deepened while his shoulders tensed, preparing himself for what was obviously about to come. He just hoped it wasn't one of the gangbangers, they tended to fight nasty with well hidden weapons that could do some serious damage.

Something scuffed just behind him and Dean pursed his lips. So much for trusting Twitchy Mike to watch his back. The man was practically useless.

In a flash, Dean lurched, spinning back and catching the man hard around the neck and shoving him hard up against the wall. His gaze narrowed, his heart lurching into double-time, thudding heavily in his ears. Dean's arm was already drawn back, ready to slam his fist into the man's face with force.

"Dean."

It took a minute - a long one, with time slowing down in the strangest crawl - before Dean recognized the man standing before him. Everything in Dean kick-started once more and his lips parted, heart thudding in a different, stronger way.

"Sam?" Dean stepped back, eyes scanning the full length of the boy - no, the man; he'd certainly become a man sometime in the last eighteen months - and settling on painfully familiar hazel eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Surprise?" Sam smirked and reached out, curling his fingers over Dean's hip and dragging him back in. "Not glad to see me?"

"Fuck, Sam." Dean lurched forward in the next moment, slanting his lips over his brother's in a hard kiss. He'd never been happier to see Sam, feel his lips firm against his own, feel the solid strength of heat from his body.

Fingers dug hard into his hair and Dean never really thought he’d feel this again. At least not for the next twenty years, and that was if he made parole. Dean moaned loud enough that his body shook, air hitching in his lungs.

"Sam," Dean breathed, then the shock vanished as he realized what it really meant: Sam being here. Stepping back, Dean slammed his brother hard into the wall, jaw clenching as he considered what a stupid idiot Sam was to get himself locked up. "What the fuck? What the hell have you done?"

A hiss fell from Sam's lips, his eyes growing wide for just a minute as he rubbed over the place where Dean's fingers had dug into his chest. "Ow. Ass. Thanks for making it so obvious why I love you."

When Sam just rolled his eyes, Dean couldn't help the slow smile from growing over his lips. Damn, he had missed his brother's smile. "Fuck you. I know you've been crying for me since I've been gone."

The grin that exploded across Sam's face was blinding, full of all those dimples and sunshine and irresistible things that had tangled Dean up with his brother in the first place. In the next beat, Sam was tugging him forward once more, crushing their lips together in another kiss that shook Dean to his core.

"I've come to get you out of here, big brother," Sam breathed into the kiss, thrusting his tongue forward.

Dean was pretty sure he couldn't be blamed for biting down on Sam's tongue after that.

~1998~

"Come on, Sammy! We gotta go!" Dean burst into the motel room and swallowed the - completely inappropriate - desire to laugh at his brother when he jumped off the bed in surprise.

But they'd been living like this for a long time - nearly all their lives - and Sam only needed half a minute to get his body into motion. Before he even asked why, he was pulling his bag up, shoving his clothes into it. They might have their moments - bickering over what TV channel to watch, full-out wrestling matches over who got the last piece of pizza - but when it came down to it, Sam knew him.

The urgency had to be clear in Dean's voice, or maybe it was the way he instantly started packing his own clothing, trying to fight the way his hands were shaking.

What just happened? Had Dean really seen that?

"Dean?" Sam whispered several minutes later as he stuffed the last of his boxers into his bag and tugged the duffel closed.

Inhaling shakily, Dean closed his own bag and stared down at it, wondering exactly how he'd make it now. How they'd make it. Was Dean even strong enough to do this?

"Where's Dad, Dean?" Sam was right next to him now, reaching out slowly to touch his arm in a firm squeeze.

Dean couldn't talk about it yet, not when his mind was still spinning, and he didn't know how to handle this, how to make things okay for his little brother with those big, watery eyes and full, pouty lips. So he shook his head and reached out for Sam's bag instead, leaving the motel room without a word.

And it really was a sign of how well Sam knew him, because he followed without question, trailing along to the Impala and climbing into the passenger seat. The doors squeaked as they opened, closed, and Dean didn't bother with a last look around.

They drove because it was one of the things he knew how to do best. Even if he wasn't sure where they were going, or what they'd do when they got there, or if maybe it would be better to just go to Bobby's, because Dean didn't feel grown up enough to handle this.

Sam didn't talk - or if he did Dean didn't hear him - until the sun had started to set and the fuel light had come on.

"Where we going, Dean?"

For whatever reason, that snapped Dean out of his spiraling thoughts. In the next minute, he was pulling off the highway and following the ramp down into a small town, somewhere to stop and rest for a while. Dean filled up the car, got them food and a room, and didn't answer Sam's million-dollar question.

Until, of course, they were tucked behind a closed door with salt lines in place at the window sill and door frame. Sam didn't ask again but Dean could feel the question lingering between them, and he knew it was only a matter of time before their tentative peace was shattered. Sure, Sam might have sensed his urgency earlier and followed along obediently, but he was still fourteen years old and was bound to have a hissy fit sometime in the very near future if Dean didn't explain everything.

"Sam," Dean exhaled steadily and dropped down hard onto the edge of the bed, lips parting and closing as he fought to find the words. "Dad's dead."

They hung between them like the echo of a gunshot - like the one still echoing in Dean's ears - and he couldn't bring himself to look up. The bed dipped as Sam sat beside him, and Dean couldn't help bracing himself for the emotional explosion.

Dean was almost eighteen, he was a grown up and wouldn't really suffer any repercussions - expect missing the man who'd raised him, shaped him, changed every little thing about him. Sam was only fourteen though, and technically, Dean supposed, he was the property of the state now. Reason one on a list of a million why they'd left so quickly.

Accepting that his dad was dead and they were all alone? Dean could figure that out; he could handle it because he had to. Losing Sam? That was not something to be handled. Dean wouldn't survive it. Sam was just too damn important.

"You watched it happen?" Sam whispered and slowly sank into Dean's side, curling an arm around his middle. "How did it... was he hurt a lot?"

Dean had kind of anticipated Sam freaking out - he was ready to duck out of the way of flying plates and vulgar words - so the strong and comforting touch? It shook him in a way he wasn't prepared for. For the first time since the warehouse and the moment Dean witnessed, knowing their lives were about to change forever, tears pricked at his eyes.

"It was quick. Don't think he hurt much. The demon had... there was a gun, I didn't see it. Shot went straight through his head." Dean swallowed thickly and shook his head, hoping the emotion wasn't affecting his voice too much. It would just freak Sam out unnecessarily, watching Dean lose it. "Took him down though, that bastard demon. Sent him back to the pits so fast, then stayed long enough to burn down the warehouse... Dad would have wanted that."

Sam clutched him just a little too hard, arms squeezing tight around Dean, head burying into the flesh at his neck. Dean could feel the wet heat of slick tears and he wrapped his arms around Sam, holding his brother like he hadn't since Sam was a small kid.

"We're gonna be okay, Sammy, I promise. I'll look after us. I promise I'll always take care of you." Dean would sell his damn ass on the streets if he had to, as long as it meant Sam had food to eat and a place to sleep.

"That’s not what I'm worried about." Sam sniffed and sat back, scrubbing the tears away from under his eyes. "You've been lookin' after me for years, I know that's not gonna change. I just... don't let them take me away okay? I don't want to be without you."

"Why do you think we left?" Dean smiled sadly and swept his thumb over Sam's cheek. He'd honestly expected his brother to be more upset about the loss of their father, but he was pretty sure they were both still dealing with shock. It was going to take a while to truly accept everything that had happened today. "You're not ever going to be without me, I promise. I'm not lettin' anyone take you away, you hear me?"

"Yeah. Okay." Sam shrugged and slumped back against Dean's body, squeezing him tight. "You think Dad's with Mom in Heaven now? Maybe they're happy together?"

Dean didn't have a lot of thoughts about the great beyond - outside of Hell and demons and fucking poltergeists - and normally he'd tease Sam about his idyllic thoughts. This time he simply squeezed his brother harder and pressed his lips to wavy, golden brown hair. "Yeah Sammy, I think they are."

~Now~

Sweeping his gaze around the yard, Dean pulled in a few steadying breaths before turning to face his brother. As much as it irritated him that Sam was here - this was so stupid, Sam had just fucked up his entire life more than it had ever been - he couldn't help being pleased. A slow smirk crawled across his lips and he shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out and grabbing Sam to tug him close.

A few stolen kisses were not enough to make up for eighteen months without the man.

"Well? You gonna explain whatever your crazy ass plan is?" Dean arched a brow and turned away, hoping they didn't look suspicious enough to draw unwanted attention.

Sam laughed softly like it was all some big joke, like they both weren't locked in a prison that was almost as dangerous as some of the shit they'd been around their whole lives. "What if my plan is fucking in the showers? Something about dropped soap?"

"Dammit, Sam," Dean groaned and scrubbed fingers up through his hair, shooting his brother an under-heated glare. "It's hard enough to watch my own back here, now I'm gonna have to watch yours, too?"

"Hey, I can take care of myself. I'm not a kid anymore." Sam's shoulders stiffened and he stared off into the yard, nodding at someone as they looked their way. Funny, over the years Dean had never noticed the subtle ways Sam had grown, but now it was glaringly obvious. His jaw was stronger, the muscles corded in his neck, his arms filled out like he’d developed some extreme regime to keep in shape – keep his mind off Dean – in the time they’d been separated.

Sam’s nod was just subtle enough for Dean to understand there was more being said. Dean turned to look in the same direction and his eyes widened slightly before dropping. "Is that... fuck, is that Rufus, Sam? What the hell is going on?"

"Come on, Dean, did you really think I'd just leave you to rot in here?" Sam dropped his voice to a low murmur and stepped forward, just barely letting their shoulders brush together. "Relax, I know what I'm doing. We've worked out all the details."

Dean considered yelling at Sam, shoving him back and letting him know just how damn stupid the very idea of breaking him out of jail was. But, fuck, what alternative did he have? And he knew Sam would have considered all the risks. Sure they were each other’s everything, maybe even each other’s greatest weakness, but Sam was still the logical one.

Dean was more likely to be the one rushing head-first into danger when it came to saving Sam.

"You still trust me, don't you?" Sam murmured and dropped his gaze, shuffling his foot along the dirt, swaying in that self-conscious little way that was still just as adorable as it had always been.

Out of his control, a slow smile grew across Dean's lips and he kicked Sam's shin to stop himself from looking so ridiculous. "Stop being a shit and fill me in on this grand plan of yours. I am ready to get the fuck out of here."

Sam lifted his head and shot Dean one of his patent, brilliant, megawatt grins. "Okay well, it involves Rufus as a guard - he's been working at another state prison for the last year, just got transferred here last week. And Bobby as a driver. And Ash as... well, Ash."

Learning just how long this plan had been forming made that tightness in Dean's chest ease slightly. Sam hadn't forgotten about him, or left him behind for bigger and better things, and Dean wasn't really sure why he'd ever thought his brother had. You didn't spend your entire life gravitating around only one person then simply forget them in a year and a half.

And well, when it came down to it, no one could ever compare to what they had together, and that was something Dean never doubted.

~2000~

"Ow. Ow ow ow." Sam whined - fucking whined - as Dean struggled to help him into the room and all but threw him down on the bed. "God. Fuck, Dean. Asshole!"

"Shut the hell up, Sam, you big baby." Dean rolled his eyes and considered just leaving his brother to his emo-ness and heading out to get some food. But a whimper fell from Sam's lips as he slid back on the mattress and Dean's tendency to be a little over-obsessive when it came to his brother's wellbeing took over. "Alright, shirt off, let's see the damage."

"No. You're just gonna tease me more."

When Dean glanced over, he wasn't all that surprised to see a full-on pout tugging Sam's lip out. "Sam? Either let me see or I'll kick your ass and then make you let me see. So?"

"I hate you," Sam muttered and slowly shifted around until he could tug his shirt off, tossing it across the room.

Dean caught a flash of bright red blood and Sam's watery eyes before turning back to his bag and yanking out the first aid kit. He was pretty sure it wasn't as bad as it looked but worry gnawed at the pit of his stomach and he headed swiftly over to the bedside. He tried to keep the worry out of his eyes as he dipped in, using an alcohol swab to clean the blood away and get to the cut.

"I don't really," Sam whispered a few minutes later, biting down on his lip as Dean paused and looked up at him. "I don't really hate you."

"I know you don't, Sammy," Dean laughed and shook his head, smirking when Sam hissed as he cleaned over the cut. "You think I'm the shit and I am, so chill."

"Stop," Sam gasped out as Dean's fingers brushed over his middle.

For a moment, Dean thought he'd hurt his brother, that maybe the cut he'd gotten when the ghost started chucking furniture their way was just the surface wound and the bruise was much deeper. But when he looked up again and met Sam's gaze, it was to find something not at all pain-related.

And it wasn't like Dean never thought about it, never realized that their closeness - especially the bond that had developed over the last two years - was a little abnormal. Or considered how he shouldn't think of things like those soft, pink lips and creamy white skin. Whenever Dean had those thoughts before - back when Dad was still alive, when Sam was just a kid - it was so easy to see all the reasons they shouldn't.

But it was just them now, it always would be, and Dean couldn't remember all the arguments that had sounded so convincing in the past. Except maybe the fact that Sam was still just a kid.

"Sam," Dean breathed and slowly sat back on his heels, shaking his head a beat later and reaching out for a Band-Aid. "Knock it off. You don't - it's not - you don't want to go there okay? Trust me."

"I'm not a kid, Dean. It's not like I don't know what it means." A frown tugged at Sam's lips and he moved away from Dean's lingering touch over his wound. "Can't we just... it's not like anyone would know, or could even hold it against us. You're all I have, you're my everything, I just want... more. More than everything."

Being responsible for a teenager wasn't always the easiest thing, especially when you were still technically a teenager yourself. Dean always felt like he was working so hard, making sure they had enough money for food and a motel room, calling in favors from people like Ash at the Harvelle’s bar to make sure Sam could finish school legally.

So Dean probably caved a lot easier than Sam expected. The boy had probably built up a whole collection of arguments - he was good at arguing the why I'm right thing - but Dean just didn't have it in him. Because Sam was right. No one would know. There was no one in their little world outside of them. And Dean wanted that more Sam was talking about just as much.

It took less than two minutes for him to make up his mind and move forward, drawing Sam close. The boy hissed as the edges of his cut pressed together but he didn't pull away, hovering in place inches from his lips where Dean held him. "Are you sure, Sam? There’s no going back from this. It changes everything."

"No, it doesn't. Not really." Sam laughed softly and slid his fingers up Dean's arm. "Kiss me, Dean. Come on."

Dean was a little surprised by the jolt that shot through him as their lips finally met, but he probably shouldn't have been. Sam always made him feel more than what made sense. In the next beat, they exploded into movement, lips crash-colliding hard, Dean pushing up off the floor as Sam fell back on the bed, and they kicked the first aid kit to the ground. Dean couldn't get enough of Sam's lips sliding hard and constant and perfect against his, fingers digging into golden, wavy hair.

"God, Sam," Dean gasped as their lips parted and they rolled together, sliding along the mattress and tangling up in the blankets. He really hadn't anticipated this, how quickly they'd fall together and start tugging at each other's clothing with needy moans.

"Touch me. C'mon, Dean - you gotta." Sam latched his teeth into Dean's lower lip and dragged it out, pushing his fingers up under Dean's shirt.

Dean smirked - considering teasing his obviously virgin baby brother about being a little over-eager - but a beat later Sam's hand rolled against his crotch, dragging steadily over the hard length. It was a lot braver than Dean anticipated and his body jerked up, all thoughts of teasing vanishing from the tip of his tongue. "Fuck, Sammy, how long you been wanting this?"

"A stupid-ass long time," Sam huffed a laugh and sat back long enough to shove at Dean's jeans, pushing the denim back until he could slip his hand forward.

Their bodies collided, clothing torn off and thrown to the floor, skin slipping and sliding together. When Dean rolled his hips up, his body shuddered, the slide of their cocks the perfect friction thrill. Dean sucked on Sam's tongue and worked his hand between their bodies, stretching his fingers out to wrap around them both and stroke over the heated flesh.

"Oh fuck," Sam gasped out and lurched forward, biting clumsily at Dean's lower lip and thrusting his hips up.

It was hotter than Dean anticipated: Sam's eagerness, the quick, fumbling brushes of their lips together. It had been awhile since Dean was with someone - since before their Dad died, if Dean was being honest, but that was understandable - and he could feel the heat of his release building up in him. Turned out it was a good thing he hadn't teased Sam earlier, because coming this quickly? Sam would have mocked him for sure.

Except, a beat later, Sam was the one shuddering against him, the hot splash of their release spraying over his skin, and Dean captured his brother's lips in a deep kiss because he was getting a little loud. Not that Dean didn't want to hear Sam, because he was pretty sure there was absolutely nothing better.

Dean panted through his own release, fingers moving swiftly over his cock to slick the heat of his brother's come into his skin. Sam's hands were in constant motion along his body, tracing down his back, over the curve of his ass. The touch was softer than Dean anticipated, comforting and soothing in a way Dean never thought he'd want. But then, he'd resolutely been ignoring all thoughts of Sam in this way because it seemed safer.

"I can't ever be without you," Sam breathed into the post-orgasm silence, curling up against Dean's side and holding tight. "Not ever."

"Who says you'll have to be?" Dean murmured and brushed his lips over Sam's temple. "Always you and me, Sammy, you know that."

Sam pushed back and peered down at Dean, wetting his lips slowly. "What if I go to college? What if I don't want to hunt all the time and want to finish my school?"

Dean stared up at his brother with arched brows, wondering if the idea of not hunting would swell a rise of panic in him that would cause a big blowout between them. When it didn't come, Dean was probably more surprised than he should have been. After all, what he'd said was the truth: it would always be him and Sam. "Then I'll go with you. We'll get a place. You'll get all smart and I'll get a job, hunt every now and then. We'll make it work."

For a while, Sam considered him with narrowed eyes - probably trying to read his mind; it wasn't as impossible as one might think - then a slow smile grew across his lips. And yeah, Dean could handle settling down, playing house, especially if it brought that dimple-laced grin to Sam's face.

~Now~

There was a pretty good chance that this was a stupid idea. A very stupid idea. Dean kept wanting to point that out to Sam - insist they could somehow make their relationship work within the prison gates, because at least they were together - but the amount of teasing he'd have to put up with was enough to keep him silent. After all, Dean wasn't really ever nervous or unsure; he was the brave and fearless one, which should be enough.

It didn't stop his hands from shaking, however, when Rufus stepped up to him, hooking the shackles into place around his wrists and ankles. There were two guards standing at watch behind them and Dean tried to keep his expression bored, completely unfazed.

"Stop shaking," Rufus muttered quietly, shooting Dean a look. "It's gonna work, Dean."

He barely dipped his head in a nod and glanced sideways over at Sam, watching as Rufus moved to shackle him up to the chain. Dean didn't understand all the logistics as to how this plan worked. Sam hadn't really been able to give him a complete break-down because there was no saying who was listening no matter how quietly they spoke.

But what he did know was that Ash had hacked the prison’s systems, scheduling for Sam and Dean to be the only prisoners on this move. Rufus would be accompanying them as a guard and Bobby would be their driver. Dean wasn't completely sold on the idea that no one would be able to track them down, tie all of their identities together, but it wasn't like he was really in a position to complain.

It wasn't as if Dean wanted to stay in jail for a crime he hadn't even committed. And, as he slowly trailed Rufus down steel and concrete hallways, he couldn't stop thinking about the man shuffling behind him. Dean had never even realized how much he could genuinely miss someone until he had to go eighteen months without touching Sam, without hearing his laugh or feeling the spark of his kiss.

Dean had survived the loss of his mother as a child; had actually been okay after the loss of his father as a teenager, but losing Sam? That had nearly killed him. And their loss hadn't even been permanent. Dean knew he wasn't strong enough to go without him for the rest of his life.

"I can't wait to have you all to myself again. I'm gonna get you out of here," Sam whispered against the back of his ear, sending a shiver down Dean's spine that he barely concealed. Dean knew Sam felt responsible for him being locked up, and no matter how many times they covered the issue, Dean couldn't convince him otherwise.

"Keep it quiet back there!" Rufus hollered over his shoulder, shooting them both a look that was maybe a little too entertained.

Dean was pretty sure Rufus was getting a kick out of this, more than he should at least. He ducked his head down but glanced back just enough to send Sam a private look.

Maybe this entire plan was fucked from the get-go; maybe they would get busted and spend the rest of their lives locked up in solitude. But... maybe it would work. Just in case - stranger things had happened - Dean made a silent promise that he would never leave Sam's side again.

~2005~

"God damn. Bloody Mary, can you believe that shit?" Dean laughed and flopped back on the bed, faint smile on his lips as he adjusted into Sam's heat at his side. "Coulda sworn that was a myth."

"Is anything really a myth?" Sam muttered, distracted by the book in his hands.

Well, Dean just wasn't having that. He'd just gotten back after all, and Sam could stop studying long enough for a proper welcome. Dean inched closer and dipped forward, sliding his lips along Sam's neck, kissing along his skin. "Pretty sure Big Foot is."

"Mm, wouldn't be too sure of that," Sam breathed, head tilting to the side even as his grip tightened on the book. "Dean... got a call yesterday, from Becky."

"Uh huh, that's nice." Dean didn't want to talk about some girl he vaguely remembered. He’d met Sam's friends - always pretending to be Sam's boyfriend because their relationship was too complicated to explain - and for the most part they were good people. But Dean would much rather reacquaint himself with his brother's body than catch up on social gossip.

"Her brother's in trouble," Sam gasped out as Dean's fingers slipped under his waistline. "D-Dean, come on, listen to me."

"M'listenin'," Dean muttered and worked Sam's fly beneath his fingers, nudging Sam's book out of the way so he could roll over onto his body.

"You are not, stop." When Sam pushed up and slid out from under Dean, it really only made Dean smirk. Mainly because Sam was obviously hard, his cheeks flushed, and it was adorable sometimes when Sam got irrationally huffy about things.

So Dean played it up, sighing heavily and rolling away to turn his back to Sam, and began unbuttoning his shirt. "Fine. What do you want, Sam? Am I supposed to fix this or something?"

"Come on, Dean, you know I didn't mean..." Sam sighed and the mattress squeaked as he slid over, tucking in behind Dean's back so his legs settled on either side. "They think he killed his girlfriend, but Becky's convinced he didn't. It’s completely out of character for him. I looked into things a bit and there are a few cases that seem really out there... I just thought maybe you could look into it. I could come with."

"Finals are soon," Dean whispered and sank back against Sam, because he wasn't really mad and he wanted his brother to know that. "I was going to take break for a while. Spend some time with you."

Sam pressed a kissed to Dean's neck, inhaling steadily. "I know. And I really want you here, but Becky's really freaked out. Maybe it's all just a misunderstanding, maybe it's nothing, but..."

Yeah, it was the ‘maybe’ that would get Dean to cave in the end. And he did remember Becky, she'd been really open and accepting when it came to their relationship, Dean couldn't not help her out. So he gave in, closing his eyes and turning to brush his lips over Sam's jaw. "You owe me."

"God, don't I know it," Sam laughed and slid his hands down between Dean's legs, messaging slowly over his crotch. "Don't have to leave 'til the morning, let me show you all the things I'm gonna do to thank you when you get back?"

"Okay, that better include my laundry," Dean laughed thickly and squirmed back. He was such a sucker for Sam, it was pathetic. But at least it was for a good cause.

~Now~

It was easier than Dean thought it would be, pretending like he didn't know Bobby as they climbed into the transport van, sliding onto the bench and looking out the window. They didn't speak as the drive began, and Dean eyed the security camera above the driver’s seat with a narrowed gaze before swallowing thickly. He wondered if maybe Ash was hacking into the system as part of the plan.

Dean kept his eyes focused out the window, palms sweating as they traveled further from the prison. He watched the fields flying past and tried to wrap his mind around the idea of freedom. What the hell would he and Sam do now? It wasn't like their life could just pick up from where it left off.

He wasn't even sure how much effort would go into the search for him, but there was a pretty good chance he and Sam wouldn't even be able to stay in the country. Truthfully, it didn't matter where they went. Not as long as Sam was with him.

Dean wasn't entirely sure how they'd decided where to run the van off the road, and he wouldn’t have guessed it would be this particular area. But, out of the corner of his eye, he watched Sam's shoulders tense just slightly - no one else would probably notice but Dean, who was still finely tuned into all things Sam - and he braced himself for what was obviously about to come.

The screech of tires echoed loudly around them moments before a truck rammed hard into the back of the van, sending them spinning in a whiplash into the field. For a moment, Dean worried the van was about to flip and he reached out, clutching Sam's thigh tightly.

When the engine stopped ticking and Dean's heart began to slow, his eyes widened as he looked around the van in confusion. This couldn't be the plan, right? Because no one would find it believable that two chained prisoners had somehow managed to overpower a driver and a guard after such an insignificant crash.

"Alright, let's get moving," Bobby grunted and quickly slid out of the driver's seat, the door creaking open.

Dean's lips pursed but he raised his hand as Rufus reached forward and quickly unlocked them both. Outside, he could see Ash and Bobby pulling long bags from the back of the truck and his eyes widened as he recognized the shape. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"They were already dead, Dean, don't worry," Sam said quickly, pulling at the top of his orange jumper as he climbed towards the side door.

It seemed a little unfair, how everyone knew this part of the plan and Dean's mind was fumbling quickly to catch up. "I thought you said we were knocking Bobby out? And Rufus. What the hell are we doing exactly?"

"Well it's not like we can really go on living any sort of life if they're looking for us," Sam reasoned and reached into the cab of the truck, tugging out a stack of clothes. "Get changed, we're on limited time here.”

Somehow it was still just as easy to do exactly what Sam said, though Dean had a million more questions. But he followed the orders, changing into his own clothing - which was kind of amazing after months of that stupid, damn jumpsuit - then redressing the bare corpse he was pointed towards. Dean's stomach churned but he swallowed back the rising bile - you did what you had to, right?

"Okay, now can someone fill me in?" Dean huffed as he helped Sam carry one of the jumpsuit-covered bodies into the van.

"We're gonna blow up the van," Sam said over his shoulder, bending down to re-shackle the bodies’ ankles. "Ash hacked into the video feed. Right now it looks like we're still driving, but he's gonna edit it and sync up the image of the crash and then the van bursting into flames. By the time anyone gets out here to help, the van will be in pieces, and you, me, and the driver will be assumed dead."

It all sounded very clever, and a little like something Dean might see in a movie. His gaze slid over to Rufus, the slightest smirk pulling at his lips as he watched Bobby land a punch hard enough into his lower lip to make it bleed. "And I'm guessing he magically escaped?"

"I am one fucking convincing liar, son." Rufus smirked toward Dean and tugged hard at his shirt, sending buttons flying. "Between my testimony and the video feed, they won't even think about the fact that they can't find any teeth for dental records. They'll write you both off as dead, especially with no family there to question. Less work for them in the long run."

"And the fact that Sam is my brother won't seem at all weird to them?" Dean was more impressed than he was willing to admit. How they'd managed to come up with this crazy-ass plan, he had no clue.

"Come on Dean, you think we'd go through all this work and then be stupid enough to let Sam get arrested with the same last name as you?" Ash arched a brow at Dean as he glanced up from his computer, clearly not impressed with Dean's apparently stupid question.

Dean huffed a breathy laugh and looked between the men, gaze lingering on his brother. It wasn't lost on him just what big risks all these men were taking to help him, and he was pretty sure he'd never be able to say thank you enough. "Well then, let's blow up a van."

~2005~

"Sam? Listen to me, this is so - fuck, just give me a minute okay? I get my damn phone call!" Dean snapped at the officer grabbing his shoulder. This wasn't happening, there was no fucking way. Dean knew he had shit luck, but seriously.

"Dean? What's going on? Becky called and said you were... Jesus, are you okay?" Sam sounded worried on the line, his voice tight and strained in that way it always got when he was just about to freak out.

Dean shoved his fingers hard up into his hair and pulled, as if the sting of pain would somehow wake him up from this nightmare he'd stumbled into. "Shapeshifter, Sam. That's what -" The officer at his side coughed and narrowed his eyes at Dean, obviously listening in on the conversation. Dean turned away as much as possible and dropped his voice to a low whisper. "It took my shape. They think I killed - they're blaming me, okay? They have my picture at the scene of the crime."

"Fuck," Sam gasped and Dean was relieved that he hadn't been out of the business long enough to forget exactly what a shapeshifter was. Or maybe Sam had already reached that conclusion from the times Dean had called over the last couple of days to fill him in. "I'm gonna come up there, prove it wasn't you. It’ll be okay."

There really wasn't any way for Sam to prove it wasn't him. How could he explain away the video evidence? It was an open-and-close case in the eyes of the DA. Dean rode out the wave of agony at the idea of what would happen now, how he would lose Sam because of some damn piece of supernatural shit. "It's okay, Sam. Just be safe alright? Know that I love you, always. Look after yourself."

"Damnit, Dean, stop. Don't talk like that. I'm gonna get you out of there." Things were rustling in the background, Sam probably packing a bag.

Dean would probably argue longer, tell Sam how stupid it was to come when there was nothing he could do, but the idea of seeing his brother in person at least once more before being tossed in jail? He couldn't resist. "Gee, nice to know you love me, too."

"You know I do," Sam sighed heavily and the mattress squeaked beneath him, sparking up the most intense longing in Dean. He never should have taken this damn case. And apparently Sam must have been thinking the same thing. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have made you go."

"Hey, don't blame yourself, I'm the idiot who fucked up and didn't play it safe enough," Dean whispered and the officer behind him practically growled and tapped his shoulder. "Sam? I gotta go. Please just - please be safe."

"I'll be there as soon as I can, Dean, I promise. I love you."

Before Dean could answer, the officer snatched the phone from his hand and slammed it down onto the cradle. A scowl pulled at Dean's lips and he stuffed his hands into his pockets to keep from doing something he might regret - like slamming his fist into the asshole's jaw.

At least Sam was coming. And Dean told himself he'd be okay with seeing his brother just one more time.

~Now~

Dean couldn't help it, a low moan rumbled through him as his fingers slid over the black, shiny surface that he'd honestly thought he'd never see again. Excited, he glanced up and Sam was smirking at him, leaning against the passenger side and dragging a hand through golden hair that had gotten a little ridiculously long.

"Knew I'd never convince you to go on the lam without her," Sam murmured and shrugged, glancing over his shoulder and then back.

The smile on Sam’s lips was growing and Dean knew the feeling. Ash and Bobby had taken care to stash the Impala out in the middle of nowhere, a good three hundred miles from the place the van had been run off the side of the road. He wondered how things were playing out at the smoldering wreck, whether they'd already been dismissed as dead.

"So, you're a free man." Sam slid along the shiny black surface, smile growing as he crossed to Dean and curled his arm around his brother’s shoulder, dragging him in and letting their lips brush slowly together. "Any idea what you're gonna do now?"

"I'm thinking Disneyworld," Dean laughed softly and tugged Sam in, kissing him roughly.

Free. He really liked the sound of that.

In fact, the moment it truly sank in, Dean found himself exploding into movement because being free meant finally having Sam as his own again. A soft grunt fell from Sam's lips as he sank into the kiss, wrapping his arms tight around Dean and tugging him as close as possible. Dean tangled his fingers up into Sam's hair, pulling hard enough to cause a whimper to fall into the kiss.

They fumbled around for a few minutes and Dean considered how stupid this probably was, no matter how hidden the car might be. If anyone stumbled upon them now, well, it would sort of defeat the whole purpose of their escape.

"Dean," Sam gasped out and slipped his hands under the back of Dean's shirt, pushing the material up and sliding his fingers over smooth skin.

"Get in the car." Dean shoved at his brother, spinning and tugging the back door open. Sam's brows arched and Dean snorted a laugh. "Come on, you can't tell me you don't miss backseat sex."

"I am not sixteen years old anymore, dude." Lips quirking into a smirk, Sam slid his hand down and flicked the button open on his jeans. "You owe me a massage later when I get all out of whack because of this."

"Still a whiny bitch, some things never change." Dean grinned and stepped in, shoving Sam's jeans down in one swift movement. The grin faded slightly as Sam sucked in a sharp breath and swayed forward, sliding his lips along Dean's neck in a familiar caress. "Did you... I mean, I'd get it. Eighteen months. Long-ass time to wait."

Sam's fingers dug hard into Dean's hips, gripping above the jeans just a little too tightly. "You are not even asking me that, you asshole."

"Hey man, just making sure. I know how much of a cock-slut you are, didn't know if you could handle waiting." Dean swallowed the rising hiss and arched forward, eyes fluttering closed as Sam rubbed with a little too much force over his crotch.

"Does this mean you didn't wait? Find yourself a nice piece of ass behind bars, Dean?" Sam shoved roughly at Dean's jeans and, a beat later, they swayed back, all but collapsing onto the backseat made of cool leather.

Dean groaned as his head smacked too hard into the door, body arching up long enough to pull cotton over his chest. "Trust me, Sam, no matter how desperate I got, there was no one in that damn place worth having some secret hook up with. Makes me a little queasy just thinking about it."

"Glad to hear how your never-ending love and devotion to me was enough to keep you loyal for a year and a half." Sam rolled his eyes a little too hard and reached under the seat, tugging out a bottle of lube that Dean was pretty sure was left over from when they'd last been together back here.

There was some sort of snarky retort building up on Dean's lips, but Sam moved a lot faster than he anticipated. A deep, low moan shook through Dean as his legs were spread as wide as they could go in the confined space and Sam's finger rubbed a slow, steady circle over his hole. He forgot how intense the initial brush over his hole could feel, the way Sam's breath hitched as he slid his finger forward.

"God I missed you," Sam gasped and fell against Dean's chest, crushing their lips together as his finger slid all the way forward. "Don't ever leave me again. Can't be without you. Can't breathe without you."

"Never, Sammy, never leaving again." It was all desperation now and Dean really wasn't complaining. Later, when they were settled in somewhere, Dean would spread his brother out on a bed and take his time stretching the man open. He'd fuck into him slow and steady for hours until they both hit their peaks and passed out from the level of far too good.

Right now though, he wanted his brother to take him, fast and dirty, and he didn't want to wait any longer. He dug fingernails into Sam's shoulders and claimed his mouth in a rough kiss, digging his knees into the seats to give Sam as much room to move as possible. By the time Sam had three fingers moving sloppy and quick inside him, Dean was panting roughly and writhing constantly.

"C'mon, Sam," Dean grunted and rocked up, clenching tight around Sam's fingers. "Fuck me. Know you want it."

Sam moaned and pulled his fingers back, sliding lube quickly over his hard flesh. "There was never anyone else. Never could be, no one compared to you."

"I know," Dean murmured, smirking when Sam peered down at him and flicked hair off his sweaty brow.

"So god damn cocky." Sam shook his head and laughed roughly, then lined himself up at Dean's entrance and slammed brutally forward.

Their bodies crashed together and Dean moaned, ignoring the protest of his muscles as he arched into the touch. Before Sam became his absolute everything, Dean had never thought he'd find himself in this kind of position. Skin flushed and beaded with sweat, legs spread wantonly wide, lips parted around pants as he all but begged his brother to fuck into him with all he had.

Dean closed his eyes and drank in the conflicting waves of absolutely everything. A whole life spent growing up with a father who put his mission before his sons, the loss of the man they should have cared more for, and then colliding and winding around one another in a way two brothers probably never should. And every time Sam's cock slid inside him, throbbing and angled in the best way to send shudders of pleasure up his spine, Dean thought it was worth all the things that maybe shouldn't be.

All of those feelings that were always too much between them had simmered over the last eighteen months spent apart, and this was like the boiling-over explosion. Their lips crushed hard and painful together, skin slick and sliding slowly against one another, muscles bunching and pulling. Dean could hear the squeak of protest from the tires as the car rocked, and it brought a smile flickering across his lips.

But it had been a while, too long, and by the time Sam's hand was between them and moving over his cock, Dean was too close to hold on. His spine arched off the warmed leather and his fingers pulled hard at golden hair.

"God, Dean," Sam grunted and slammed into him, slick, hot release filling Dean in a way he hadn't even realized he'd missed.

When Sam collapsed against him, Dean's face scrunched up, the feel of his own release smooshing between their skin wasn't nearly as pleasant as Sam's filling him. "Better not get any on the seats, asshole."

"Ah yeah, I definitely missed you," Sam laughed and pressed his lips hard against Dean's temple. "So, ready to start a new life with me? Lots of potential."

"Yeah, I'd say I definitely am." Dean's arms curled tight around Sam and it felt like he'd never been gone.

The End

Six Years After - Jared/Jensen

2012-09-30T23:32:00Z

Title: Six Years After
Author: anyothergirl415
Words: ~29,500
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jensen/Riley
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 – angst, minor violence, minor character death
Summary: Jensen had a lot of things going for him – mostly, minus the recent loss of his mother and the boyfriend who wouldn’t come out of the closet. But a car accident one rainy night took it all away and gave him a power he never expected. Based loosely on the TV version of The Dead Zone.

Notes: This fic is for fiercelynormal who bought me ages and ages ago and waited patiently while I struggled with a very stubborn muse. She requested something completely different from this story but well, she must love me enough to take whatever I can produce! I hope you enjoy darling!!

Thank you to all my girls who held my hand and cheered me along even when I whined and bitched and complained about it all. And of course thanks to kadams27 and prncssflutterby for looking it over for me in the end!

Oh and I forgot before which was reaaallllllyyyy horrible of me but a million and one thanks to favoritedarknes who created the lovely art that went along with this piece ♥

Part One ~ Part Two ~ Part Three ~ Part Four

Read it all or download from A03 here

Six Years After 4/4 - Jared/Jensen

2012-09-27T00:10:46Z

Title: Six Years After 4/4
Author: anyothergirl415
Words: ~29,500
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jensen/Riley
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 – angst, minor violence, minor character death
Summary: Jensen had a lot of things going for him – mostly, minus the recent loss of his mother and the boyfriend who wouldn’t come out of the closet. But a car accident one rainy night took it all away and gave him a power he never expected. Based loosely on the TV version of The Dead Zone.

"Are you okay?"

Jensen looked up from the pot of boiling water, heart lurching when - for just a moment - he thought it was Jared standing there in the doorway. But a beat later Chad was pulling his beanie off and Jensen stared at the mop of blond hair then turned away. "How did you get in?"

"The front door was unlocked." Chad stepped closer and leaned against the counter, looking around the kitchen slowly. "Jen..."

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this." Jensen wasn't even sure why he was boiling water any more. When he'd finally managed to work up the energy to head downstairs he was pretty sure it had something to do with hunger.

Chad sighed and walked a little closer, laying his hand on Jensen's shoulder and guiding him away from the stove. "Are you hungry? Let me make you something."

"I thought we'd have more time you know? My vision lied to me. It seemed like months away..." Jensen allowed Chad to guide him into a chair, falling heavily down on the cushion. His leg was aching but he wasn't sure why - was it the night before, with Jared? Had it really only been a day since they were last together? It felt like longer. It felt like a lifetime.

"Well it's not like they come with footnotes ever." Chad moved around the kitchen easily, helping himself to food even as he made Jensen something. "Jared's going to be okay Jensen. It's just going to take some time."

Jensen's head snapped up, his eyes wide as he pushed out of his seat - ignoring the ache in his leg and grasping his cane tightly. "You've spoken with him? He called you?"

"Megan called me, to tell me about Gerry. I went over there. Man, you can barely stand up, have you even eaten in the last three days?" Chad sighed again and walked swiftly over to Jensen once more. "Sit down idiot."

"Three days? Has it really been..." Maybe that was why it felt like Jared had been gone a lifetime. Three days since the man had stormed out of his home and Jensen could barely remember the time passing. "I didn't realize how much time had passed."

"Jen? You're freaking me out dude and considering what I've seen you do, that's saying a lot." Chad huffed and turned back to making a sandwich once more. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know," Jensen whispered honestly and shrugged, dragging a hand down his face. Why did everything have to get so complicated? Once upon a time Jensen was pretty sure he knew every little thing about his life, he had all these plans and everything was supposed to be easy.

And now all he felt was alone, empty, hollow. He had somehow fallen in love with this guy who would probably never forgive him and he couldn't even really be upset with said guy. Because it made sense, why Jared had run, and Jensen was pretty sure if the shoe had been on the other foot he would have done the same thing. Hell, he'd probably have been a lot meaner than Jared had been.

"Did he ask about me?" Jensen asked in a quick exhale, hoping the question would somehow hurt less if he got it out fast.

Chad paused for a moment, staring down at the sandwich and slowly shaking his head. "He's really dealing with a lot right now Jensen. The funeral... it's tomorrow you know."

"I want to go. I know he probably doesn't want me there but just for the support. Will you take me?" Jensen could probably drive himself, if need be, but his leg was so sore lately it was probably a stupid risk.

Their gazes met for a long time and Jensen knew Chad was debating what the best route would be. He knew the reasons he shouldn't go but his entire being was longing for Jared And the truth was, he'd go whether Chad took him or not.

"Okay. I'll come pick you up at eleven. Just try not to make a scene okay?" Chad set the sandwich down in front of Jensen, leaning hard against the counter. "And take a shower. You smell."

Jensen managed a weak smile and looked down at the sandwich. Even with all the circumstances, the idea of seeing Jared again was enough to make things just a little better.

-===-

It was strange seeing Jared so clothed.

Jensen wasn't entirely sure why that was the thing that stuck in his mind but it was all he could think about as he watched the family step up to the coffin one by one. The man's hair was tucked back behind his ears, body covered from neck to wrist to ankle in black, features pained just like Jensen knew they would be. They were miles apart but Jensen could feel the grief and agony coming off the man in waves.

He lingered back from the gathering, far enough away no one would even notice him; he couldn't even hear what was said. Every time he tried to step closer it felt like the heavy weight of emotions was tangible, thick and heavy laying over him, like his visions had somehow given him the power to feel everything.

"Jensen?" The young woman at his side looked familiar in the vaguest sense and Jensen frowned as he looked over at her. "You're Jensen right?"

This was Jared's sister. Jensen remembered seeing a picture of her. He hadn't seen her leave the crowd and his eyes flickering back to the ceremony instinctively. It was easy to pinpoint Jared through the crowd, not quite as easy to hold his gaze when the man looked pointedly over at him.

"It'll mean a lot to him that you came. No matter what happens between you two." Megan reached out, sliding their hands together before Jensen could even think about stopping her.

"Meg, you look so beautiful." Jared strode forward, stopping behind his sister in the mirror. "Most beautiful bride I've ever seen."

"You're just saying that." Megan blushed but grinned brightly at Jared in the mirror, leaning back into his touch. "Thank you for being here. For walking me down the aisle. Dad would... he'd be real proud of you, you know?"

"I like to think he would," Jared murmured and turned to press a kiss to her temple. "He'd be real proud of you too. I know it."

"Shh don't make me cry yet, I can't get married with mascara running down my cheeks." Megan laughed and turned away, wiping tears from under her eyes.

"Jensen?" The girl frowned up at him, hand squeezing his reassuringly.

"Sorry, I'm... it's okay. It's all going to be okay Megan." On an impulse Jensen stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the girl in a hug she likely didn't expect. It was the first vision he'd had in a while and the lingering warmth of love and happiness was a welcome relief from all the pain and grief of the last few days.

"Um, thank you." Megan looked curiously up at him as she stepped back and away. "Do you want to go see him? Jared? I know he's... well I don't know what happened between you two but I'm sure he'd like to see you."

Jensen glanced up and over once more, in time to see Jared turn and walk in the opposite direction. His heart sank and he dropped his gaze, giving Megan a sad smile. "No. That's okay. I think it's probably better if I just give him some space. You should get back to your family."

"Are you okay? Should I send Chad over? He brought you here right?" Megan reached out to touch his arm, comforting and reassuring, and Jensen was hit with just how much she was like her brother.

It made his heart ache in the worst kind of way and he gasped in a breath as he stepped back. "No, that's okay. I can make it home on my own. Thank you though."

Jensen turned to leave before the girl could say anything more, slipping his hands into his pockets just in case.

-===-

The company that had helped with hiring Jared for him called a week after Jared had left. They refused to say whether Jared had quit, was just taking a leave, or would ever return, but the way they offered another aide made Jensen feel tight and uncomfortable. He declined another aide - even if taking care of the house all by himself was overwhelming and his leg was protesting more and more each day - he just couldn't imagine having another person there in his house.

No one would ever compare to Jared, why bother trying?

Though, considering the way Chad kept scoffing every time Jensen paused to consider the right brand of pasta or bread for his healthy diet, Jensen was starting to question his decision.

"It's fucking spaghetti sauce Jen, not rocket science, just pick one." Chad groaned and leaned heavily against the shopping cart.

"I could have done this alone you know. I didn't force you to come with me." Jensen shot the blond an under heated glare and went back to browsing the shelves.

This was so much easier with Jared. Jensen had never grown accustomed to being out in public again, though they had been building up to it. The truth was, he wasn't entirely sure he could have handled grocery shopping and he was pretty sure Chad knew that. No matter how much of an asshole Chad could be, Jensen knew he was his only real friend and that mattered.

"Your leg acting up pretty bad?" Chad asked as they traveled further down the aisle, Jensen leaning just a little heavier than usual on his cane.

Biting at his lip Jensen shrugged and tried not to make his limp as obvious. "Just a little sore. Nothing I can't handle."

"You should get another aide Jen. At least someone to help with the PT part, work your leg out. The last thing you need is to damage yourself more. There's no fucking way I'm gonna come over and start bathing you again, no matter how much you miss it." Chad reached out and snagged a package of cookies as they passed, tossing it into the cart.

Jensen sighed and shook his head. Lectures from Chad were never fun but then, it wasn't like Jensen had anyone else in his life that really gave a damn about his well being. At least Chad was trying. "I'm fine Chad. I've moved down into one of the rooms on the first floor, I'm taking it easy. So don't get your hopes up, there will be no bathing involved."

Chad snorted a laugh - tossing a package of brownies into the cart. "Damn. You sure know how to damage a guy."

There was a laugh from the aisle over and Jensen instantly turned, heart quickening with hope. A moment later a man that was definitely not Jared walked past and Jensen's shoulders slumped, his head dropping down to peer at the off colored tile beneath his feet. Two weeks and counting, this really shouldn't matter anymore. Jared wasn't coming back.

"You're gonna be okay, right?" Chad asked quietly in that way he did sometimes that was too serious for Jensen's liking.

Things between them should always be half offensive, mocking and rude, it was easier not to deal with the real things. Jensen forced a smile up at Chad and reached into the cart, pulling out the brownies and cookies and setting them both on the shelf. "I'm a superhero remember? I have to be okay."

"Gayest superhero I know." Chad scoffed then smirked at Jensen, snagging a bag of marshmallows as they walked past.

-===-

Jensen would be the first to admit he had a pretty plush life growing up. His family was wealthy - was still wealthy for the matter which was a really fucking good thing because Jensen was rapidly learning he was no good at hard work. He'd never had to do things like this, the hard labor of raking up leaves, and it was turning out to be a real bitch.

As it turned out, holding a cane and using a rake at the same time was kind of impossible. And the leaves kept getting caught up in the wind and scattering away, rendering the pile he was making kind of pointless.

"Fuck this," Jensen groaned and leaned heavily on the rake, closing his eyes and groaning.

"I'm pretty sure the point is to keep them all in a pile then pick them up, not just spread them around the yard. But it could be an interesting new decorating technique."

Jensen slowly straightened up and turned, his heart hammering in that way he suspected it always would when face-to-face with Jared. The man just had that effect on him and even though it'd been nearly a month, Jensen thought he could still feel that pleasant lingering hum. It was the ghost of a feeling, like when a vision lingered and left the emotions hanging around in the air around him.

"Hey," Jared whispered and took a step closer, sliding his hand slowly up through his hair in a gesture so familiar that Jensen ached.

He'd given up on the idea of Jared ever showing up again - which was why he'd been out raking the leaves in the first place - and he didn't know how to handle him being here now. "Jared. Hi. How are you?"

"I'm... dealing. It's been a rough few weeks." Jared nodded and inched a step closer, looking around the yard slowly. "Work said you didn't hire another aide."

"No, I didn't." Jensen shook his head and let the rake drop, limping over to the place his cane was resting against a bush. "Do you want to come in? I could make some coffee or something. Or water. I mean, if you want to... stay. For a little while. To talk."

Jared's sigh was soft and weighted and Jensen was too afraid to turn around and see whatever look was on his face. There was so much that could be said now, maybe Jared had only come over to tell him all the reasons this couldn't work, all the reasons Jensen was just as fucked up as he'd said before.

"Coffee would be good. How's your leg?" Jared trailed Jensen to the front door, reaching out to touch his arm the moment he got close.

"Been a little sore lately. But I'm okay." Jensen wanted to fall into the touch. Amazing, the way he'd worked so hard to avoid Jared those first two weeks and had never realized what a touchstone the man had become. Even now when everything was so up in the air Jensen was soaking in the comfort almost greedily. "How's your family?"

"They're dealing too. I didn't really come here to talk about my family." Jared moved around him into the kitchen, heading over to make up the coffee like he was still just as comfortable moving around his home.

It made Jensen long for the way things had been for them, for just that little while. He sat slowly on bar stool and rubbed his fingers along his thigh. "What did you come here to talk about?"

"I understand why you didn't tell me." Jared kept his back to Jensen as he spoke, head dipped down, and Jensen could barely believe this was the same man that spent so many hours singing off key and swaying around his kitchen in nearly no clothing. "I've had some time to think about it and... I get it. I really do. Hell, even if you had told me I'm not entirely sure I would have believed you. Also, Chad took a good deal of the blame, said it was his fault, he'd talked you into keeping it secret."

Jensen's lips twitched in a faint smile, surprised that Chad had stuck up for him in any way. "Well that probably doesn't help my standing, taking advice from Chad."

Jared huffed out a small laugh and finally turned to face Jensen, tears reflecting bright over sad hazel eyes. "I thought it would make a difference you know, at first, I thought you telling me what you knew would make it all better somehow. Maybe I wouldn't have been as shocked, or maybe I could have stopped it somehow. But... that's wrong, isn't it?"

It hurt to know Jared was looking for some type of reassurance, one that Jensen couldn't give, so he ducked his head down and sighed softly. "I don't think you would have been able to stop it from happening. Heart attacks... sometimes they just happen. And even if you believed me, on the off chance, do you really think your parents would have?"

"Yeah. I... that's what I figured." Jared sighed and turned back to the coffee mug as it sputtered and finished brewing. "What did you see when you touched Megan?"

Jensen's gaze snapped up to Jared, heart fluttering with an all new type of hope. It wasn't like Jared had said anything that suggested they were going to be okay but he didn't look angry, or terrified, or about to run off again, so that was something. "Huh?"

"I saw you two, at the funeral, and she took your hand. That's how it works right? You touch them and you get a vision. So what did you see?" Jared slid a cup of coffee in front of Jensen, leaning on the counter and stooping down to meet his gaze.

"Her wedding day." Jensen didn't even harbor the idea of lying to Jared this time. Hell, the man could use some good news. He looked up and smiled at Jared, hesitating just a moment before reaching out and taking his hand. "You and her on her wedding day, you were getting ready to walk her down the aisle and she looked beautiful."

This time the shine in Jared's eyes didn't look all that sad. His smile warmed and his palm turned under Jensen's for their fingers to slide together. "Yeah? That's... it definitely sounds like one of the better visions."

"It was. I mean, it's not like I can control what I see. Saw a girl walk in on her fiancé cheating on her once, that was pretty shitty." Jensen's smile grew despite the words and he shifted just a little closer, daring to allow himself to hope.

"Chad mentioned that. And the car accident you saved him from. He kind of, explained the entire thing to me." Jared laughed and inched around the counter, sliding closer to Jensen. "He showed up at my place a few days ago, apparently we're both being emo and need to knock this shit off."

Jensen laughed and tugged on Jared's hand, pulling him just a little closer. They were drawn to each other like they always had been, probably like they always would be, and Jensen wanted this heaviness between them to fade away. "I'm so sorry for lying to you Jared. I wish... it should have gone differently. I wanted to be there for you."

"Like I said, I really get it. Why you didn't tell me." Jared sighed and slid a step closer, leaning in for their foreheads to meet. "I'm still... it's not like I'm all better, losing my dad... it's a lot to deal with. But I miss you. And I feel like I need to have you in my life. And I'm tired of being emo."

Pushing up off the bar stool, Jensen slid his arms around Jared and tugged him close, breathing easier than he had in far too long. "You don't think I'm fucked up?"

"Nah, you're my Jensenic, my own personal superhero," Jared chuckled softly and leaned in, brushing their lips together in a soft kiss. "Okay you might be a little fucked up. But I can handle that."

Jensen rolled his eyes but his grin grew and he pushed as close to Jared as he could. "As long as you don't start asking for lottery numbers or something, we should be good."

Jared laughed then pushed in closer, slanting their lips together, and Jensen could handle being a little fucked up as long as it came with Jared here with him.

-= Epilogue =-

Dear Mr. Ackles,

Thank you for all your help and guidance through our family's difficult time. I don't think I can put into words just how your special insight helped us when we were struggling so much.

I don't know how you do what you do but I know you have made me a true believer in the supernatural. I hope I can repay you somehow, someday in the future.

All my best,

Annabell Scott

"Whatcha reading?" Jared dropped down on the couch beside Jensen hard enough it caused him to bounce.

Jensen huffed and offered the letter out to his boyfriend, ducking his head down so he wouldn't have to watch the emotion on Jared's face. Even after a year of this, a year of them being together, a year of Jensen reaching out to help people in need... it never really got easier. At least the being thanked part, Jensen had never adjusted to people's gushing thank yous.

"Another convert to the super special ways of my wonderful little psychic." Jared smirked and dipped forward to brush a kiss over Jensen's cheek.

"I am not a psychic. I hate when you say that." Jensen sighed but found himself leaning into Jared's warmth, like he always did.

"At least I stopped using the Jensenic? Or you know, Chad's favorite, Miss Cleo." Jared laughed, sliding his arms around Jensen and tugging him hard up onto his lap.

"That joke is so old it's painful." Jensen sighed and sank against Jared's chest, taking the letter from his grasp and setting it on the side table. "I'm just glad this one didn't send some money with her letter. I hate when they do that more than anything. Like I want to get paid for helping find a lost dog."

Jensen never planned on going around and helping people in need. But it came with the full integration back into the real world. You never realized how hard it was not to touch people until you actively tried not to. Sometimes the things Jensen saw he could ignore - he had to ignore - but other times... well, thankfully, Jared was always there to help with the visions he had to share.

Not everyone believed him - and the names he was called could be a little extreme - but at least he always tried.

"Mm where are you?" Jared hummed and kissed slowly along Jensen's neck, trailing his fingers down his back to tug under his jeans.

Jensen closed his eyes and swayed into Jared, rocking up against the heat of his body. "Right here, I swear."

His rolled his hips down with purpose against Jared's jeans, threading his fingers through the soft golden hair he never quite got enough of. Jensen had no idea what he would do without Jared. Thankfully though, he was pretty sure he'd never have to figure that out. Because Jared would always be there, Jared was the one solid thing over the last year - besides Chad, and solid was a long stretch - that had never let him down.

They were good, better than, and they were in love. That was really all Jensen needed.

"You know Chad's gonna be in soon," Jared muttered even as his fingers worked over Jensen's waistline, tugging at the button and zipper and pushing the material down.

Jensen groaned and squirmed back, shifting around to push his jeans and boxers swiftly down before climbing back onto his lover's lap. "Then I guess we better hurry this up huh?"

"Needy slut, some things just never change," Jared sighed then smirked up at Jensen, pushing his lips up to shove his jeans down to his thighs.

Almost instantly Jensen's eyes were drawn to the hard length of Jared's flushed cock, tongue sliding over his lips as he watched Jared's fingers stroke almost leisurely over his flesh. It was something Jensen never got sick of, seeing Jared hard and wanting him, and their sex life definitely reflected that.

"You want him to walk in on us fucking don't you?" Jared's brows scrunched together, a smirk tugging at his lips. "Like the time he almost caught you sucking my cock."

"That was his own damn fault. Who doesn't knock before entering the kitchen anyway?" Jensen laughed and flopped over, snatching the bottle of lube tucked in the side table drawer. What? Nothing wrong with having a beyond healthy sex life.

Jensen didn't really need the stretching but pushing up and rocking down onto Jared's fingers was one of the best pleasures in the world. His fingers dug into Jared's shoulders and his head tipped back, a deep moan rising up through him as Jared's free hand pushed up under his shirt and mapped over his bare chest.

"God, always so god damn beautiful," Jared sighed and worked his fingers up a few more times before drawing back, slicking quickly over his cock.

Jensen wasted no time in pushing up onto his knees and angling forward. He sank down onto Jared's cock with a deep moan, head falling back, body taking in his lover with that perfect combination of pleasure and stretch. It felt like coming home whenever their bodies connected like this and Jensen worked his fingers into Jared's hair the moment his hips dropped to settle on the man's thighs.

"Move. Come on. What are you waiting for? Chad?" Jared grunted and squeezed Jensen's thigh on his bad leg - it wasn't all that bad anymore but still.

Groaning and dropping his head down to rest against Jared's, Jensen rocked up and sank back down, using a well practiced slide to bring their bodies together. Listening to Jared moan each time he rocked down and clenched around him made Jensen shudder and pick up his pace.

There was something amazing about being comfortable with your lover, knowing someone as well as Jensen knew Jared. The way they moved together was a rhythmic flow, hips meeting with the gentle smack of flesh, lips colliding between quick pants.

"I love you," Jared breathed into the kiss, fingers gripping Jensen's ass tightly and drawing him up only to slam him hard back down.

"I love you too," Jensen echoed and curled his fingers around Jared's wrist, tugging his hand down to force his lover's fingers to curl around his cock.

Jensen moaned louder as he rocked up into the touch and back down onto the thick length filling him up. His orgasm was just there on the edge, boiling up in him, and Jensen gave in to that complete loss of control. So many other parts of his life were all about the order - keeping his gloves on so he didn't get too many visions, taking over the family business - it felt like he could only be himself in moments like these with Jared.

"Fuck, yes," Jared groaned as his hips snapped hard up, Jensen's release sliding over his fingers.

Falling forward Jensen kissed Jared deeply, trying to tell him all those things he'd never been able to put into words over the last year. How did you explain to someone just how important they were?

"If we have sex every day for six years, do you think it'll make up for the coma?" Jared asked as the kiss broke, sliding his lips over Jensen's jaw.

A half snort fell from Jensen as he pulled up and fell back on the couch, reaching out to snag his pants. Chad was coming by any minute after all. "I think we'd have to have sex every day for twelve years. Or twice a day for six years. Maybe even twice a day for twelve years."

"Challenge accepted, Mr. Ackles." Jared laughed, freezing when the front door slammed loudly against the wall just outside their room. "Shit."

Jensen fumbled quickly with his clothes, spinning around just as Chad stepped into the room. His face scrunched up and he groaned a moment later. "God damnit you two just had sex. How many times do we have to go over this? Spare me the gay!"

As Jared stood his arms slid around Jensen's middle, a deep laugh echoing around the room. "You could just stop coming over, that would solve both our problems."

"And miss out on my time with Miss Cleo? What kind of sidekick would that make me?" Chad turned, heading for the kitchen - unsurprisingly - and calling over his shoulder. "There better fucking be cookies waiting for me."

"You need better friends," Jared muttered against Jensen's ear and squeezing tightly, pressing a kiss below his ear. "Maybe you should go out and start touching people, invite home the good ones."

Jensen rolled his eyes and trailed after Jared and Chad into the kitchen. His life was never going to be normal and Jensen was pretty much completely okay with that.

The End

Masterpost

Six Years After 3/4 - Jared/Jensen

2012-09-27T00:09:05Z

Title: Six Years After 3/4
Author: anyothergirl415
Words: ~29,500
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jensen/Riley
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 – angst, minor violence, minor character death
Summary: Jensen had a lot of things going for him – mostly, minus the recent loss of his mother and the boyfriend who wouldn’t come out of the closet. But a car accident one rainy night took it all away and gave him a power he never expected. Based loosely on the TV version of The Dead Zone.

It surprised Jensen that Jared left him alone for the evening and - outside Chad knocking to say goodbye - Jensen stayed hidden behind closed doors until the following morning. Every time he closed his eyes he was caught up in images of the woman flying through the air, or Jared’s sudden pain, or Katie's anguished cries. It was enough to make Jensen want to hide away and never face the world ever again.

Eventually the low churn of his stomach was too much to ignore though so he slowly inched his way down the hall, praying there wasn't some ambush waiting for him in the kitchen. He didn't want more questions that he wasn't ready to answer.

The kitchen, however, was empty and Jensen rationalized that being disappointed was ridiculous. He'd be lucky if Jared was still even there. He probably moved out and was already telling everyone what an asshole Jensen was and how he might also be a little bit on the insane side. And who could blame him?

"Twenty six."

Jared's voice startled Jensen, causing him to jump and spin from the coffee pot he'd been staring absently at. The man was - mercifully - dressed in worn jeans and a shirt which was much better than his usual lack of clothing. Though Jensen missed getting the eyeful. Honestly, the amount of contradictions in Jensen's mind was getting a little pathetic.

"Excuse me?" He asked when Jared didn't elaborate.

"I'm twenty six years old. I have an older brother and a younger sister, two kick ass parents, and I was born and raised here. I'm single and I have been for a while. Oh and I'm gay." Jared shrugged and crossed the kitchen, opening the fridge to pull out some eggs. "I figure you were right yesterday, when you said I don't know you. And we should change that."

Jensen tried not to flinch at the two kick ass parents thing and blinked, stepping out of the way when Jared headed his way to start cooking. "I'm gay too."

Jared paused and looked his way, laughing softly. "Yeah Jen, I know. I read your file, remember?"

"Oh, right. So you know about Riley then." Jensen glanced down, waiting for the familiar twinge of pain that came whenever he thought of his ex. When it didn't happen he looked back up, surprised. Maybe he really was over his ex. Maybe his thoughts were just too full up of Jared.

"So what do you say? Are we going to spend some time getting to really know one another? I think it's really about time." Jared smiled softly at him and Jensen was honestly surprised there were no questions about what he had overheard the night before.

For a long few moments Jensen considered if he could do this, keep the secret from Jared and become his friend. Maybe become more. He needed to stop thinking about it, stop dwelling on what he couldn't change and be there for Jared. Jensen could do that, he had to, and Jared deserved that at least.

So with a slowly growing smile, Jensen made a vow to stop being an asshole and give Jared a chance like he'd really always wanted to anyway. "Yeah. I'd like that."

-===-

For the past two weeks Jensen had been so consumed with going out of his way to not have any encounters with Jared that he hadn't stopped to really consider that he might actually genuinely like the man. It had been all about trying not to drool over Jared's often shirtless body, not touching him and sparking some vision, doing all in his power not to think of him in that way. And now Jensen didn't really have that to worry about.

Though that didn't necessarily make it any easier.

It wasn't like Jensen was going out of his way to touch Jared but - as he learned over the following few days - it was kind of impossible not to once you'd opened up at all to the man. Jared was just one of those physically reassuring people, the kind that would touch your arm when leaving a room or stand only a few inches away when walking through a grocery store. Jensen was sure Jared behaved that way with everyone but some touch hungry little part of him liked to pretend Jared was just being protective.

Before Jensen had been so busy avoiding Jared because he was scared, then avoiding him because he had such a huge glaring secret, so when he finally gave the man a chance Jensen was a little shocked by how genuinely amazing Jared was. Jared had a fantastic sense of humor - sometimes telling jokes that rivaled Chad's in their sheer level of dirty - and a naturally sweet nature. He sat and listened, giving Jensen his complete focus, as Jensen told about his mother and how much he'd loved her and how much it hurt to not have her around any longer.

It made him feel just a little guilty, bringing up his parents, but Jensen thought maybe this was one of the few ways he could help Jared.

"What about you? Are you close with your parents? You mentioned before that they were uh, kick ass?" Jensen leaned back from the table. They'd been going out a lot over the last week, getting to know the superficial things about each other while re-introducing Jensen to the world once more. For some reason Jensen found it easier to get to know Jared in somewhere that wasn't his home.

Mostly because Jensen just kept thinking about them collapsing into his bed together and Jared had that horrible - wonderful - tendency to not wear a lot of clothing.

"Yeah, god, my parents are fantastic. I know some people think it's lame but like, my mom? She's my best friend. And my dad is the one person I can count on to give me the best advice. They're still madly in love with each other and sometimes that makes me want to gag but it also makes me want that kind of love. I can't imagine one without the other." Jared was beaming as he finished speaking, shifting forward as if he couldn't imagine discussing anything better.

For just a moment Jensen found himself nearly spilling the entire truth of the vision. Because, god, this wasn't just going to kill Jared. It was going to destroy his entire family. But then he remembered there was nothing he could do to stop a sudden heart attack from happening and well...

"Did that sound really lame? Sorry. My family... we’re just all really close is all." Jared ducked his head down to hide his blush and Jensen swallowed the lump in his throat.

"It doesn't sound lame. I just... can't imagine having that kind of relationship with my parents. I mean, before they passed away." Jensen shrugged and glanced up, watching sympathy cross Jared's face. Before the man could say anything more Jensen hurriedly continued on. "Do you see them a lot? Your parents? Seems like you don't take days off for that kind of thing often."

"Yeah well, you know, life gets busy and all. But we talk every other day at least." Jared swiped his thumb over the edge of his plate, bringing it up to suck the liquid off a moment later.

Jensen could feel his heart pick up speed before he quickly dropped his gaze, praying the flush on his cheeks wasn't glaringly obvious. "You should go see them. Spend more time with them." Glancing back up, Jensen watched as Jared's brow furrowed and he quickly continued. "Like you said, life gets busy, it goes fast, you never know when something might happen. Just think you should take some time enjoying what you have after all."

"Oh, god, I'm sorry Jensen. That must have- all that must sound so tactless, after you lost your parents and everything. I'm really sorry." Jared reached out to take Jensen's hand, thumb rubbing his skin softly and god that touch really was amazing.

"No I- it's not that, don't worry. I was just saying." Jensen shrugged, smiling shyly at Jared as he slipped his hand free and grasped the edge of his plate.

"Are you done with this sir?" The waitress stepped up to their table, smiling down at them.

"Oh, yes, thank you." Jensen nodded, pulling his hand back as the waitress reached out. Their hands brushed and just like it always did, everything faded, taking over before Jensen even had time to realize their skin was in contact.

She stared down at the paper in her hands, unfolding it to expose the worn creases - clearly this letter had been opened many times before. The front door shut loud enough to echo through the front hall and a man called out for her, his tone excited and bright.

"Longest business trip ever. Hey, babe, you okay?" The man stopped in the doorway of the kitchen where she sat, laying his palms flat over the paper.

A shaky smile grew on her lips, her breath hitching as she pushed up to her feet. "I wanted to tell you in person, not on the phone. I... Nick, I went to the doctor's yesterday. It's finally happened. I'm pregnant."

The grin that exploded across Nick's face seemed to make the room light up. In the next moment he was sweeping forward and tugging the girl close, her laughter filled with tears of excitement and joy.

"Congratulations," Jensen said without thought as the vision faded, leaving him with the lingering wave of happiness and joy that he rarely felt after a vision.

The waitress blinked down at him, small smile on her face. "Sir?"

"You're pregnant." Jensen glanced toward Jared - whose eyes widened at Jensen's simple statement. He swallowed a laugh when Jared's eyes snapped down to the waitress's thin waist.

"I... how did you know that? I just found out... I haven't even told anyone." The waitress looked between them both, stepping back from the table.

Jensen's mind reeled and he glanced toward Jared - who still looked shocked about the entire thing - before clearing his throat. "Well um, you just, have that glow about you. I'm good at picking up on things like that. Anyway, just, uh, congratulations."

"Well, thank you." She gave him a little bit brighter smile before carrying their plates away.

"Is that your super power?" Jared asked once she'd disappeared with the plates. "You can tell when women are pregnant? Is that what your visions are all about?"

"That- god, that would be the lamest super power ever." Jensen laughed weakly and rubbed at his brow. He didn't know how to explain this and well, this time there would be no running away. "It's just... a thing I can do. It's no big deal."

"Yeah, predicting the future, no big deal." Jared snorted and sat back in his seat, considering Jensen with a strong gaze. "You can tell me, Jensen, or not, it's okay. But if you haven't learned by now, I'm not the type to judge. I'm not gonna freak out at you."

"Really? Because it really seems like this is the type of situation where freaking out is the expected reaction." It didn't make sense that Jared would believe him and accept this, unless he didn't believe Jensen and was just going along with his crazy whims because of him being his boss or something. That seemed likely. And well, Jared was a pretty nice guy after all.

The grin Jared gave him was a little too knowing. "Maybe you haven't noticed but, I am pretty damn awesome. And working for Superman? That just makes me even more awesome."

"I can't fly. And I am obviously not invulnerable. Plus, there is no kryptonite. Therefore, I am not Superman." Jensen shook his head but his smile was steadily growing wider, the idea that Jared could possibly believe him about this vision made his heart warm.

Having someone other than Chad to talk to about all this stuff, someone that was part of his daily life, that would really be excellent. As long as Jared didn't ask about the thing Jensen had seen when they'd first touched.

"Well then, I guess we'll have to give you a better name. How about the Seer?" Jared smirked, pushing up to stand as Jensen did. "The Visionater? Ohh the Jensenic, like psychic, with Jensen in it."

So he wasn't entirely sure that Jared wasn't making fun of him - and wasn't convinced that Jared entirely believed him - but at least it was a start.

-===-

"I don't want to hear another word."

Jensen snapped his jaw shut, moments away from telling Chad just how Jared had draped an arm so casually over his shoulder as they watched a movie the night before. He hadn't even realized just how much he'd been talking about Jared during their phone call and Jensen was pretty sure he could feel the heat of Chad's glare.

"Sorry. I guess I was um, gushing a bit huh?" Jensen blushed and rubbed at the back of his neck, ducking his head down and glancing toward the window.

Jared was outside mowing for likely the last time of the season. Naturally his shirt was off, tucked into his back pocket, and Jensen felt the heat crawling through him in a rush. He wasn't entirely sure how his thoughts had shifted so much from thinking Jared was just some unattainable hot guy to being his but apparently he was ready for more.

"I swear to god Jenny, if you are jacking off right now I will drag you into town and make you touch everyone. What? You heard me!"

There was a very good chance the last bit of Chad's threat was overheard by whoever he was crossing paths with and Jensen's breath caught on a laugh. "You're the most disturbing person I know."

"Shut up bitch you love me. But obviously not as much as you love Jared and his glistening muscles," Chad cackled in the most disturbing fashion Jensen had ever heard.

Jensen grinned and relaxed back into his chair, trying to keep his gaze from turning back to Jared who was just finishing mowing and was starting to glisten just a little too much. "Yeah, whatever man. You think he really believes me? About the visions? Has he asked you about it?"

"We may have discussed it. I think he might believe, a little. But that's only because he doesn't want to think you're nuts. He's kinda into you, in case you hadn't noticed beyond staring at his shapely pecs."

"You would make a horrible gay man." Jensen grumbled then laughed, shaking his head to force his gaze away from the very distracting sight of Jared putting the mower away. "Okay so he doesn't really believe, but he could, possibly, and he doesn't think I'm nuts. And... he likes me. These are good things."

"What will you do if he asks? About the vision you had about him?" Chad asked in a whisper, his tone serious like it was the first time they'd discussed that particular vision.

"I won't tell him. I can't, I know that now more than ever. His parents, his dad, they mean the world to him. I just can't have him losing out on the time they have left. I even made him take last Sunday off to go spend time over there. He probably thought I was a little crazy but apparently that's nothing new." Jensen sighed, walking across the room to look in the mirror. "It's the right thing to do, right?"

"Yeah Jen, it's the right thing to do." Silence lingered after Chad's words as they accepted what keeping such a big lie from Jared would mean. Especially for Jensen's newly forming relationship. "It's definitely the right thing."

"Hey Jen, you want to take a dip in the pool?" Jared called from down the hall and Jensen's eyes instantly snapped open, the worry sliding off his shoulders.

"I've got to go Chad. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, have fun fuck-"

Jensen hung up before Chad could finish the thought which was really probably for the best.

-===-

A peaceful air had settled over the house and Jensen thought, even if nothing ever happened with Jared he'd be content just to have him around. Every day it felt like his leg was getting a little stronger and the house didn't feel so overwhelmingly sad as it had originally. There were still some rooms he couldn't go in - or wouldn't allow Jared to enter - but everything would happen with time.

He'd learned a lot about Jared over the last couple of weeks - now that he wasn't avoiding him like ridiculously attractive gay plague - and after over a month of the man living with him he felt confident that they'd found the perfect balance. As long as Jensen didn’t get lost in his thoughts too often. Or get too melancholy. Or as long as he had his coffee.

"Tell me something about you that no one knows," Jared asked during a commercial, not taking his eyes from the TV even as Jensen glanced over.

Wetting his lips, Jensen reclined back on the couch and dropped his hand between their thighs on the cushion. He'd been considering reaching out to take Jared's hand for the last half hour but he still had absolutely no idea if Jared was even interested. Well, he knew. There was what Chad had told him, and the lingering looks they sometimes shared, and he got the message that Jared was into guys, but they'd crossed a line. And Jensen couldn’t stop thinking about why Jared was apparently better off single.

They’d yet to cover that particular topic.

"That hard to think of something huh?" Jared chuckled and finally looked his way, letting his head drop back to rest on the couch cushion. "Come on Jen, you've got to have loads of juicy secrets. Growing up in a wealthy family, only child, give it up."

There were plenty of stories Jensen could tell Jared, tales of his rebellious teenage years, the first boy he'd kissed hiding behind the storage lockers in his high school. But, for whatever the reason, the first real secret to pop into his mind was much sadder. "I was going to propose to Riley."

Jared's head slowly lifted and he turned on the couch, tucking a leg between them. The movie they'd been watching - that Jensen honestly wasn't paying attention too - returned and something loud exploded. Jared reached out for the remote and a moment later the room was cast into darkness.

In the time it took Jared to turn on a nearby lamp Jensen listened to the race of his pulse in his ears. He felt a little queasy, like just telling Jared about what had almost happened and that night would throw him back into another coma that would steal six more years of his life. Or maybe Jared would learn the truth and realize how very much he didn't want to be connected to someone like Jensen, who was obviously much more than a one night stand kind of guy.

"What happened?" Jared finally asked when the lamp was on and he was back to facing Jensen, small frown on his face. "You were going to but...?"

"I got so scared I went into a coma instead." Jensen shrugged, looking away from Jared because the intensity of his hazel eyes was too much, joking like that made it easier. "It was... that night. The night of my crash. Riley and I... we'd been fighting for a while because I wanted us to be out and he wasn't comfortable with that, he was worried his family would lose it. Things were on shaky ground and I wanted to fix it so I'd planned for a nice dinner, thought we could talk it out, I'd tell him how much he meant to me and ask him to marry me."

Jared sucked in a breath loud enough for Jensen to hear and reached out, laying his hand over Jensen's arm to squeeze softly. "God Jen..."

"You know what's the kicker though?" Jensen huffed a pained laugh, annoyed at the tears pricking at his eyes. He should be over this. When he'd gotten some control over his emotions he turned to Jared and smiled sadly. "I know he wouldn't have said yes. I wasn't that guy for him; I wasn't worth the risks of losing his family. We were together for, god, for years and he kept it secret that entire time. But he's been with Tom... well I don't know how long exactly but he was worth it. And they look so happy together."

"He brought Tom to meet you?" Jared scoffed and scooted closer, wrapping his arm around Jensen's shoulder and squeezing. "What a douche."

Jensen laughed louder this time, leaning into Jared much easier than he'd expected to. "No. It was... that was the first vision I had. Even though Riley was telling Tom I was awake in the vision, I could just feel the love. Riley looks at him like he's the fucking sun and moon and he never... I was never anything close to that for him. I think I might have actually been a really bad boyfriend."

"Hey, stop it. That's- that can't be true. I refuse to believe it." Jared pulled back and smacked Jensen's arm. "I don't know what you were like six years ago but even when you're cranky pre-coffee or a nervous mess that over compensates by being an asshole, you're still a good guy. You make me laugh and... well, you don't want to hear me gush."

"No no, gush away." Jensen grinned as he turned to face Jared. "Man, what would you even know about it? You're better off single right?"

The smile fell from Jared's face and he dropped his hands to his lap, picking at the fray of jeans over his knee. "It's not like that. Or, it wasn't always that way. I was... well, I was engaged once. Ironically I guess."

Jensen blinked, taking a moment to absorb what seemed like a really big fact that Jared had left out when talking about his past. "You were? But I didn't... when was that? You've never said anything."

"Yeah I try not to talk about it." Jared sighed and dropped his head back once more, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Was a couple of years ago. I met this guy, David, and god I fell hard. He was one of those people who just made you feel like the center of his world, like everyone just rotated around this axis he created. I let him consume me, dropped out of school, moved into his place, ignored all my friends and family and just devoted my world to him."

Jensen had the horrible sinking feeling in his gut that he knew where this was going. Obviously their relationship hadn't ended well, since they weren't engaged any more, but it was more than that. Jensen could practically feel the pain radiating off Jared and he was the one to reach out this time and touch the man's arm. "What happened?"

Jared sat up and met Jensen's gaze, his own eyes filling rapidly with tears. "Came home from the store one day and he was with another guy. Guess it happens... and I was so stupid, giving everything up for him. I was pretty... I got pretty wrecked after that, nearly fucked up my entire life. But hey, I managed to sort things out, my parents helped out a lot. Chad too, believe it or not. I got back into school and now..."

"You're better off single?" Jensen suggested once more - with a lot more understanding - trying to balance the ache of his heart on Jared's behalf and the pressing fear that this was too much for him. He'd never cheat on Jared, he wasn't that type of person, but wasn't keeping a huge secret like he had just as bad? Or, would Jared see it that way?

And, apparently, Jensen had already mentally committed to wanting a them. It was like he'd fallen without even realizing it.

"I really meant that it's not like that." Jared bit at his lip - Jensen watched the flesh slide between his teeth though it was a little maddening - and shrugged. "That day, when I interrupted Katie and said that, I was just trying to keep her from saying I was gay. Because I didn't want you to know."

Jensen blinked and blinked again, dropping his hands on his lap and shifting back to turn away. "Oh. Okay. I see."

"Ugh. No, Jensen. No, you really don't see. Which is really fucking ironic Mr. Visionater."

The way Jared scoffed annoyed Jensen for some reason he couldn't name. He spun back to Jared, completely prepared to unleash the jackass fury he had mastered over his entire life, but he was cut off before the words could form on his tongue. Mainly because Jared's mouth was suddenly covering his, hands framing either side of his face and holding him close.

Jensen's heart lurched into overtime and he froze, his hands hovering in the air between their bodies uncertainty. It had been a long, long time – six and a half years or so – since Jensen had been kissed and part of him had thought it was never as good as he remembered. Turned out he was wrong, it was better. Jared lips were soft and silky and perfectly warm sliding against his. Long fingers stroking over his skin in the best kind of caress.

"Jared," Jensen gasped as their lips broke, the name spilling from him out of his control.

"Shh, it's okay. You want this, right?" Jared pressed slow kisses along his face, along the corner of his mouth, up over his jaw. "You want me?"

"Yes. Yeah. I do. I'm just... there's..." God, Jensen didn't even know how to begin explaining all this to Jared. Not without making him sound crazy.

Jared pulled back slightly, giving him a soft warm smile. "Not sure it's the best thing to do?"

Well, that wasn't exactly true but Jared didn't really need to know how much Jensen fought back and forth with this decision. Maybe some part of him didn't want to be hurt again. "I’m scared. Terrified, you know? That I could be hurt again or that you I could hurt you. I convinced myself you didn’t want that, or I tried to. And then I got to know you and I was even more scared because I could see - not literally but, you know - I could see myself falling for you and I didn't want to be burned again."

Or, maybe, he'd just spill everything. Seriously.

"I would never do that to you." Jared shifted once more until he was nearly flush against Jensen's side, dipping in to gently brush a kiss along Jensen's neck. "Pretty sure you won't be hurting me either."

Jensen closed his eyes and swallowed thickly. He wished he could be as confident as Jared on that particular subject but the secrets didn't change. "Never on purpose. I will never hurt you on purpose, I promise."

All he could do was be there for Jared, whenever the man needed him, it was the only thing Jensen was absolutely sure of.

"Good. Then... let us be. Because I don't have to have super powers to see that we will be pretty damn awesome together." Jared chuckled softly, sliding his hand back through Jensen's hair. In that moment Jensen officially decided to forget about what he knew because he didn't want it changing their relationship before things had even before. Things would just be him and Jared now and nothing else.

And, for what felt like the first time in a long time, Jensen reached out with the clear purpose of laying his hand on Jared's arm. Over the last few months he'd gotten used to not touching to avoid any visions. But now he could touch Jared as much as he wanted - and god that was a lot - and not have to worry about any of that. Jensen suddenly wanted to touch Jared everywhere, right the fuck now.

Before Jared had even finished laughing Jensen sprung forward and tackled him back on the couch, crushing their lips hard together and spreading his legs to either side of Jared's ridiculous model-built frame. Jared's hair felt as silky smooth and wonderful beneath his fingers as Jensen knew it would and he tangled the locks, held on tighter and squeezed as his tongue plunged forward to taste the inside of Jared's mouth.

When Jared moaned into the kiss Jensen's hips jerked forward, the heat of his crotch rubbing up against Jared's in the most delicious friction filled slide. It was amazing enough to drag a loud moan from him as well and he broke from the kiss to suck in a much needed breath. Almost instantly Jared's lips were against his jaw, sliding down his neck, burning a path along his skin that made Jensen blow out the breath he'd just pulled in.

"Jen," Jared moaned against his neck, hips thrusting up against Jensen's in a near desperate roll. "We got- we've got plenty of time."

"Jared." Jensen sat back and blinked down at Jared, trying not to squirm any more than absolutely necessary - which basically meant a constant slow roll with that delicious friction. "I haven't had sex in six and a half years. I'd rather not wait if it's all the same to you."

A slow smirk grew across Jared's face and his arms slipped around Jensen's waist, body shifting forward until he stood. Jensen half squeaked and wrapped his legs tight around Jared's body, clinging to the man as Jared easily carried him out of the living room. "Damn, forgot about that. Guess that means you're almost like a virgin all over again huh?"

Jensen moaned once more and tangled his fingers in Jared's hair again, tugging hard enough the man's steps stumbled. "Considering I haven't even fingered myself open, I'd say it's pretty safe to say I'm going to be nice and tight for you."

In the next beat Jensen found himself pressed hard up against the wall, Jared's lips sealed over his, tongue exploring every inch of his mouth. Jensen moaned and squirmed until he could drop his feet down on the ground and tug sharply at Jared's shirt. He needed them naked and bare together, as soon as fucking possible.

"This is not," Jensen gasped and pulled back from the kiss, dropping his head back on the wall so Jared's lips could map over his neck. "Not my bedroom. Jared, god, come on."

"Will you always be this eager and needy?" Jared smirked against Jensen's neck and tucked his arms firmer under his ass, lifting him firmly off the ground and dragging him further down the hall.

He probably would but Jensen wasn't going to admit to that. The way Jared's lips burned into his skin was the absolute best thing and Jensen was breathless and panting by the time they actually made it into his bedroom. It was strange in a way, being here with Jared like this. Jensen could still remember the time in which he never thought he'd get over Riley, or when he figured he'd spend forever alone because who would want a crazy boyfriend like him?

Even if he'd been lusting after Jared from the moment he saw him and had had that vision where they were clearly together, Jensen had never really thought they'd be together. The idea that they were going to be, that Jensen could really have this, sent a sharp thrill of pleasure through him.

"How's your leg feeling?" Jared asked in a low murmur, massaging over Jensen's thigh with one hand while the other tugged and pulled at his fly.

Jensen leaned heavily into Jared, panting into his neck and closing his eyes. "Like I can feel anything below the ache in my gut."

Jared laughed softly and shoved hard at Jensen's pants, nearly lifting him once more and dragging him across the room to the bed. He fell back on the mattress with a bounce and blinked up at the man. Jensen had seen Jared shirtless more times than he could count but this was completely different. He watched Jared strip bare and it made everything in him tingle and spark in the most intense way.

"You are so damn gorgeous," Jensen whispered in awe and fumbled out of the rest of his clothing. He was panting, shaking like a nervous virgin, and it would be ridiculous if he couldn't see just how aroused Jared was. Maybe the virgin thing was some kind of turn on for Jared.

"Right back atcha." Jared laughed thickly and winked at Jensen before climbing across the bed, dragging his hands up Jensen's legs as he crawled forward. "Do you know how badly I want you?"

"I uh-" Jensen groaned and arched up as Jared's lips worked over his skin. "I might have a pretty good idea. Been wanting you since the moment I first saw you."

"Then why did you play hard to get for so damn long?" Jared grumbled against Jensen's throat and reached out to the side, tugging the drawer open.

Jensen had no idea how Jared knew where he kept his lube - or how he even knew Jensen had lube for that matter - and he chose not to think too much about it. Instead his fingers combed through Jared's deliciously soft hair and his legs spread just a little wider. "Knew we'd end up here," he muttered and god, being outrageously turned on must have disconnected his brain to mouth filter because he really hadn't meant to say that.

Jared pulled back a little, slicking his fingers with that still steady smirk, and Jensen's heart fluttered in the strangest way. "Oh really? Is that what you saw when you touched me?"

No no. They really couldn't go into this conversation, not now, not when Jensen was so close to having Jared's fingers in his body. Pushing up onto his elbows, Jensen strained forward to seal his lips over Jared's and instantly pull him closer. He all but forced Jared's finger up into his body and groaned into the kiss, rocking back onto the vaguely familiar burn of stretch.

It worked as the distraction method he was going for. Jared instantly pushed forward, shoving Jensen back onto the bed and working his fingers forward. It was perfect, feeling Jared working him open and forgetting the real world for the first time since he woke from his coma. It was exactly what he needed, what he'd been longing for, and the way his heart was aching for Jared already more intense than he thought possible.

Their lips came together in gasped kisses, skin rocking and colliding, and by the time Jensen had adjusted to all three fingers stretching him open he was practically begging. "Come on. Need you in me. Stop wasting time."

Jared snorted into the kiss and pulled his fingers free. Jensen was more out of it than he realized - he had no idea where Jared got the condom from and just barely registered the tear of foil and the slick of latex - but everything sharpened with a perfect clarity when the man was right there, pushing up into him. Their eyes met and Jensen felt the rise and swell of all the things they'd been building on the last few weeks.

Hell, even from the moment they met each other.

No matter how awful some of Jensen's vision was regarding Jared, it had still included this amazing thing between them. As Jared slid all the way up into him Jensen entertained the - definitely idealized and romantic - notion that fate had all been leading up to this. They were meant to be together and everything was bigger than what Jensen knew.

Then Jared was pulling out and fucking forward and Jensen stopped trying to think. He ignored the ache in his leg and lifted both to wrap around his lover's waist, pulling the man close and rocking up to meet each thrust forward. Their bodies moved together with a natural ease, skin slick and gliding, lips whisper touching between each harsh pant. Jensen dug his fingers into Jared's hair and held tight, moaning out the man's name because it was all he could manage to say.

When, more than a dozen thrusts later, Jared's cock slammed up against his prostate Jensen wasn't prepared for the pleasure overload. Apparently going six and a half years without getting laid did things to his stamina and Jensen came embarrassingly fast, moaning loudly and arching up into Jared's sweat damp form.

"Oh fucking Christ," Jared groaned and sank his teeth into Jensen's neck, biting at the flesh. "That- so hot. Coming untouched. Jesus."

It surprised Jensen when Jared's hips stuttered a few thrusts later, his own release hitting with a deep moan exhaled against Jensen's neck. Jensen was thrilled more than he should be that he could be hot enough to drive Jared that crazy.

"Didn't mean to hit so fast," Jensen muttered as Jared collapsing down onto him. Strong fingers curled over Jensen's thigh and massaged slowly, bringing a smile to Jensen's lips as he realized Jared was worried about his muscles being sore.

"Shh, don't wanna think," Jared grunted, slowly pulling back from Jensen and shifting away to take care of the condom.

"But I mean, it was pretty lame. I'm not a blushing virgin." Jensen laughed softly and turned enough to watch Jared stride naked across his room to the bedroom. He could really be okay with the idea of them being together now, like this, and seeing Jared stroll around the house in all his naked glory.

A few minutes later Jared was crawling back across the bed with a damp rag, smirk growing on his lips. "Well if you're worried about your precious image, I'm sure we could come up with a way for you to prove yourself worthy."

Jensen laughed and reached out to comb his fingers through Jared's hair. "Challenge accepted Mr. Padalecki."

-===-

Arms were secure and firm around his middle, holding him tight, and a smile pulled at Jensen's lips before his eyes even opened. His leg was sore and his whole body had that pleasant thoroughly fucked hum that he'd never realized just how much he missed. Jensen moaned as he stretched out, pressing into the full length of Jared's body. "It is too early to be awake."

"Well maybe if someone hadn't kept me up until two in the morning," Jared snorted a laugh and inched a little closer, arms securing tight around Jensen's middle.

Something nagged in the back of Jensen's mind but he was too pleasantly relaxed to really think about it. It was much easy to settle against Jared's body and press soft kisses over his skin. It was so natural being with Jared, Jensen didn't even have to question it.

"That was entirely your fault. I take no respons-" Jensen cut off as Jared's cell phone started playing the original cast version of 'Slipping Through My Fingers' from the musical Mamma Mia and suddenly that nagging feeling was like a hard slap across his senses and he jerked up.

"Yeah I know, so gay of me, you really need better lines." Jared grinned over at Jensen then answered, lifting the device to his ear. "Hey Mom! How's-"

Jensen couldn't hear the other side of the conversation but he didn't need to. He knew exactly what was being said, could see the shock and confusion painting over Jared's face. It wasn't supposed to be today.

In his vision they had seemed so comfortable, like they'd been together for months, years even, they were supposed to have more time. Jared was supposed to have more time.

"Mom? What is it? What's wrong? What happened to Dad?" Jared sank back onto the bed and Jensen slowly straightened up and slid across the mattress. He braced himself for what was to come, for Jared's gasped and soft and pained, "Gone? Mom... Dad is... is he dead?"

The sob that fell from Jared's lips made Jensen's heart clench in the worst way. He pushed quickly up to his feet and slid on a pair of sweats, hurrying over to Jared's side once more and curling an arm around his body. The man leaned into him and Jensen felt his resolve shake.

Could he really be enough to comfort Jared through something so major? Jensen wasn't entirely sure he'd dealt with the loss of his own father before.

"Okay I- I'll be there soon- yeah. Love you Mom." Jared pulled the phone back and disconnected the line, dropping it down on the mattress. He leaned forward with a heavy sigh, digging hands up into his hair, and Jensen stroked slowly up his back.

"I'm so sorry Jared," Jensen whispered and leaned forward to press his lips to Jared's shoulder.

"I can't believe this," Jared gasped and spun, throwing his arms around Jensen and holding him tightly. "This wasn't supposed to happen. He's- he was too young. I can't-"

"I know, I know Jared I'm so sorry." Jensen tightened his arms around Jared, stroking his fingers up through the man's hair. It reminded him of the day his mom died, how his chest had literally ached with grief and all the words Riley kept muttering about being sorry felt so trivial and pointless.

Jensen was suddenly desperate to make it better, to show Jared he could comfort him in the way he deserved.

"I know how bad it hurts. The shock. But he's in a better place now right?" Jensen slid back enough to see Jared's tear stained features, brushing fingers over his cheeks softly. "And, a heart attack, that's so fast, he probably didn't even feel much pain."

Jensen didn't even realize his mistake until Jared's body stiffened against his. His heart leaped up into his throat as the man pulled back the rest of the way and stared at Jensen, something dangerously dark behind his eyes.

"I didn't say anything about a heart attack."

Swallowing thickly, Jensen ran his palm over his face and slid back. Five minutes ago they'd been laying in bed, comfortable and warm, just barely waking up, and Jensen had thought he could have this forever and be quite content. And now he could feel it slipping through his fingers, out of his control and he didn't know how to stop it. "Y-you said- I heard-"

"No. I didn't. You-" Jared stood and stumbled back a few steps, his eyes wide and fixed down on Jensen. "You fucking saw this."

"Jared..." Jensen whispered, tangling his fingers together and sucking in quick breaths. "It wasn't like that."

"Oh really? Then what the hell was it? You didn't see my dad dying?" Jared snapped then scoffed, turning quickly from Jensen and stooping down to snag up articles of clothing. "This is fucking insane. How could you keep something like that from me?"

"Like I could really tell you, god, I didn't even think you really believed me!" Jensen didn't mean to get defensive but this was never supposed to happen. He was supposed to be the one there comforting Jared, not on the receiving end of his anger. "Look this is all- it's not supposed to be like this. Please just sit down; you're dealing with a major shock."

"Yeah the shock that my fucking boyfriend didn't even tell me he knew my dad was going to die." Jared stepped angrily into his jeans and Jensen tried not to feel the flutter in his chest at the word boyfriend. Now was really not the time for that. "How long have you known?"

Well, there wasn't much point in lying now. Jensen apparently sucked at keeping a secret, good thing he wasn't a real superhero or his identity would be everyone's business. Ducking his head down, Jensen sighed and shifted uncomfortably back on the mattress. "The morning Katie was over. I asked if you wanted to go to the city center, my hand touched yours and I saw..."

"You saw him dying. Jesus. Do you realized how fucked up that is? How fucked up you sound? Did you watch him have a heart attack? Did you watch him die Jensen?" Jared was back to pacing, tugging his shirt on quickly, digging a hand angrily through his hair.

Jensen had felt fucked up plenty of times, whenever he had a vision really, but no one had ever accused him of it. Even when Chad thought he was a bit out there he'd never been hurtful about that. "God, no. I watched us in bed, watched you get the phone call, that's all."

"That's all? Oh great so you knew we were going to be together before it even happened?" Jared stepped back and shook his head roughly. "I can't fucking deal with this right now. I have to get out of here, I have to get to my mom."

"Jared, please, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just needed- I just want to be there for you." Jensen stood and reached out for Jared, flinching when Jared jerked back from the touch.

"You should have told me Jensen. It was my future; I had a right to know."

Jensen watched as Jared turned and walked out of the room. There should be something for him to say in this situation, some way to make it better, but it had never played out like this before. The only other person who knew about his visions had been given proof that saved his life and to Jared, this had to feel like nothing but a betrayal.

By the time Jensen's mind managed to catch up with everything that had happened so suddenly, the front door was slamming loud enough to echo through the house.

Even when he barely knew Jared, when he wasn't even sure they could be friends, he never really thought he'd end up alone. And sometimes it was all he wanted, the solitude, but now the silence was nothing but deafening.

Part Four

Masterpost

Six Years After 2/4 - Jared/Jensen

2012-09-27T00:07:57Z

Title: Six Years After 2/4
Author: anyothergirl415
Words: ~29,500
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jensen/Riley
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 – angst, minor violence, minor character death
Summary: Jensen had a lot of things going for him – mostly, minus the recent loss of his mother and the boyfriend who wouldn’t come out of the closet. But a car accident one rainy night took it all away and gave him a power he never expected. Based loosely on the TV version of The Dead Zone.

"I just can't do this. It's sunny and he'll be glistening and in water and I keep trying not to think about him like that but how can I possibly just ignore what's right in front of my eyes every god damn minute? He's always bending over getting the laundry or doing the dishes and his ass is just-"

"Jesus mother fucking Christ when did I become your gay hotline?" Chad practically screamed to smother Jensen's words. "I cannot handle any further ass talk. My ears have just been violated. My soul is dirty, my poor innocence."

Chad's outburst was too high pitched and over exaggerated but it had the desired effect. A smile twitched at Jensen's lips and he turned away from the mirror where he'd been examining the complete lack of a six pack. Somehow Jensen was still managing to maintain his friendship with Chad - though he'd completely failed when attempting to create the same connection with Jared. It helped that Jensen saw Chad like a playful puppy you couldn't help throw a tennis ball for while Jared was more... the star of every naughty fantasy Jensen was resolutely pretending not to have.

"Would you just sympathize with me? I mean, honestly, he wants to go swimming." Jensen groaned and crossed the room in wide limping steps, snatching his cane thankfully from where it was leaning against the desk.

He'd been home less than a week and already his muscles seemed to be at a maximum. Jared kept insisting Jensen relax more - and not go up and down the stairs more than really necessary - but Jensen hated feeling so weak. That was probably why the pool thing had come up, Jared thought it would be a brilliant work out. Jensen was pretty sure he was going to black out.

"So you want me to sympathize with you because you get to hop in a swimming pool with the object of your pervy, lust filled fantasies? Oh yes, my heart goes out to you," Chad said flatly and Jensen could just imagine his eye roll.

There was a knock at the door that interrupted Jensen mid-snort. Since the wood creaked open with the force of Jared's fist the man was able to hear the ridiculous noise even as Jensen spun and choked on it. Because, there Jared was in all his swim trunk glory, all bronzed and rippling and Chad was really fucking right about the pervy lust filled fantasies.

"Jen?" Chad's voice echoed through the line. "Please tell me you're not having some literal vision about Jared now."

"It doesn't work that way," Jensen mumbled though he couldn't take his eyes off Jared. "I gotta go."

"Have fun in the pool sweetie, play nice with the big bo-"

Jensen hung up before Chad could say any more - just in case Jared could hear the man and his tendency to talk way too fucking loud. Jared just kept staring at him with a warm smile, leaning against the doorframe like he had no care in the world that he was near naked. But hell, if Jensen looked like Jared did, he strut around naked all the time without a care in the world.

"Chad's an asshole," Jensen muttered though it had been at least a minute since he hung up. A long, drawn out moment in which he'd just been staring open mouthed at Jared like some sort of socially stunted idiot. Awesome.

Six years in a coma apparently reset all his well learned social skills.

Jared just laughed and turned, heading out of the room. "Could have told you that," he called over his shoulder. "Come on, let's go get wet."

Jensen tried not to shiver at the mental images sparked up by Jared's words but he was kind of doomed. He followed - naughty fantasies be damned - much slower and prayed he did nothing in the pool to seriously embarrass himself. More than he already had at least.

By the time he made it outside Jared was already in the pool and swimming laps. Jensen took a moment to stare and appreciate the bunch give pull of Jared's muscles each time he breached the surface and dipped back down. When Jared stood at the edge of the pool, water trailing down miles of golden skin, Jensen felt his cock fattening in a way it hadn't in a ridiculously long time.

The doctors had warned him it could take a few more months for his sexual drive to return. The doctors, apparently, had never met Jared Padalecki.

"Ready? I promise we'll take it easy, see how you feel and go from there okay?" Jared's smile was soft and easy and Jensen really had to envy how easy this all was for him.

He never got twitchy or stuttery around Jensen. He never stopped and stared with lust in his eyes and a rapidly hardening cock - not that Jensen noticed at least, which was assuming he was gay to begin with. Which, knowing Jensen's luck, was not the case. And who would want someone with Jensen's amount of baggage anyway?

Oh hey, date me, even though I've been in a coma for the last six years and can see the future when I touch someone. No big.

"Jen? You're going to have to trust me at some point," Jared murmured, soft and understanding like he could read Jensen's thoughts.

He couldn't, thank god, otherwise Jensen was fairly sure he'd be not the least bit understanding and probably a little pissed. Jensen forced a small smile on his face and stepped forward, leaning his cane against the deck chair. "It's not that I don't trust you. It's just... I'm like a cat, right? I hate water. Water hates me."

"Meow." Jared grinned and climbed out of the water.

Before Jensen could even roll his eyes the man was right there scooping Jensen easily up in his arms and carrying him down the steps into the water. Jensen flailed and remembered seconds before it was too late that he couldn't let his hands touch Jared's bare skin. Now would be the worst of all times to have any sort of vision about Jared. Jensen was far too focused on the what the fucking fuck.

"I am capable of walking you know," Jensen muttered though it sounded rather pitiful even to his own ears.

Of course and naturally, Jared just laughed and set him in the shallow end, stepping back and out of Jensen's personal bubble. Which was probably a good thing since Jensen was just about to stroke the man's biceps to see if they really were rippling. God. Fuck Jensen's life.

If he managed to survive any of this it was going to be a miracle.

-===-

Jensen hovered just outside the kitchen, watching as Jared swiveled his hips and sang - rather poorly - along with the radio. The man's tendency to wear an absurd lack of clothing was getting kind of too much - like mowing the lawns without a shirt and cleaning the bathrooms barefoot with tan khaki shorts. Who the fuck wore tan khaki shorts anyway?

Not even to mention the whole swimming pool fiasco that replayed in Jensen's memories like mentally downloaded softcore porn.

So there was now, in which Jared was cooking breakfast while wearing only boxers. And yes, this was the place Jared basically lived now - Jensen had offered him a day or two off a week but so far the man hadn't taken more than an evening one night. That was no reason or excuse to dress like a fucking prostitute.

Maybe that was a little on the extreme side. But seriously.

"If you get grease on your man bits I reserve the right to laugh at you," Jensen mumbled, forcing himself to step into the room because just standing out there staring was ridiculous.

Jared shot him one of those lethal dimple laced grins then turned back to the frying pan on the stove, flipping the omelette easily. "You just said man bits. I can laugh at you forever now."

Jensen rolled his eyes and tried not to limp too obviously as he headed across the kitchen to the bar stool. After the first few days of being back in his old family home Jared had not so subtly suggested the stairs were too much for Jensen but that only implied Jensen was somehow weak and he was not having that. So he'd kept his mouth shut, even as his muscles began to protest and he reached the point that making more than two trips up the stairs was about his limit.

Even then he spent a good part of the night in agony.

"You know, you're supposed to tell me when the pain is intolerable." Jared sighed and turned to set a plate and the omelette in front of Jensen's stool before he'd even had the chance to sit.

Rolling his lips together, Jensen pushed up onto the stool, unable to hide a wince as his muscles ached. "It's not. Not intolerable anyway. I just... I have to move a lot more here than I did in the clinic. I'm still getting used to things."

"Well it really doesn't have to be painful. At least not that painful. I'm here to help you." Before Jensen could really decide what that meant Jared was crossing the counter, laying his hands over Jensen's shoulders and massaging slowly. "I can help you."

Jensen instantly tensed, forcing himself to slowly relax as Jared's hands slid down the curve of his shoulders. It really hadn't taken Jensen long to learn that he only had the visions when his bare hands touched someone else's bare skin but he still expected it after every touch - though the work out sessions in the pool really should have been reassuring. It was kind of horrible to know how limited his ability to touch was; Except when Chad touched him because - for whatever the reason - Jensen only got one vision per person apparently.

Not that Chad wanted to touch him much, or that Jensen wanted Chad to either.

"What are you thinking about?" Jared asked quietly, massaging his thumbs in slow circles at the base of Jensen's neck.

"Chad," Jensen answered automatically, wincing as Jared squeezed just a little too tight. "Uh, that sounds a lot weirder than I meant."

Jared chuckled though Jensen thought it might sound weird - not that he spent a lot of time analyzing Jared's laughs or anything. "Right. Well, you want me to rub out some of the kinks here?"

"What now?" Jensen huffed, arm swinging out as he struggled to turn and knocked his glass of orange juice across the counter.

It fell to the floor and shattered and Jensen took the opportunity of Jared's distraction to flee the room. Fuck breakfast and his aching - protesting - muscles and Jared's far too enticing offer. Jared was a nice guy, he helped around the house and forced him through ridiculous work outs, and Jensen just kept making an idiot out of himself. His life was just too complicated for this shit.

Jensen planned on heading outside, getting some fresh air, but he was thrown headlong into an unexpected vision as he tugged the door open and stepped right into a thin blond standing in the doorway, his hand curling over her arm to keep from falling.

"It-it was just so sudden. We didn't... oh god. How am I supposed to be okay without him? He means- meant, so much t-to me."

"Shh. It's okay Katie, I know it's..." Jared trailed off with a sad sigh, wrapping his arms tight around the blond and holding her close. "He was so strong, he held on as long as he could."

"But he's my best friend," Katie choked on another sob, clinging to Jared until he was supporting all of her weight. "My brother- he was- he's everything."

"I know Katie, I know. It's going to be okay, he'd want you to- he wouldn't want-" Jared choked on his words, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Jen? You okay?" Jared was there now and gasping Jensen's arm, pulling him back and away from Katie. "Katie? What's- are you hurt?"

Katie simply shook her head and Jensen's heart ached for the girl he didn't even know - who could very well be Jared's girlfriend really. Jensen swallowed thickly and stepped back, trying to stop tears from forming in his eyes. He hadn't felt a vision so utterly heart wrenching before, at least not since the moment in the rec room with Sandy.

"What's going on?" Jared asked quietly, looking between them both with confusion.

"It's..." Katie choked on a sob and shook her head, folding her arms protectively over her chest.

"Her brother," Jensen answered before he could think better of it.

The surprise on Katie's face was clear even through her agony and she dropped her arms, staring wide eyed at Jensen. "How did you know that?"

Thankfully, Jensen didn't have to come up with some answer he didn't have. Because Katie's brother must have been sick for a while and Jared knew it. The man sucked in a quick breath and stepped forward, drawing Katie close in a tight hug. "Did it happen? Oh Katie, I'm so sorry."

Jensen left before attention could be brought to him once more. He glanced back long enough to watch Jared leading Katie off. He needed to find a way to shake the way it felt like his entire world had just been lost. This vision had clearly affected him more than any other.

-===-

For the first time since Jared had moved in two weeks before, Jensen ate dinner alone - food that he'd made himself no less. In fact, he didn't see Jared again until the following morning, while he was still reeling with a wave of shock after watching Katie walk almost blindly through the kitchen in one of Jared's too big shirts. She'd poured herself a mug of coffee, left it black, and turned to exit the room without so much as a glance at him.

Never mind it being Jensen's house and all.

Minutes later, while Jensen was struggling to calm the irrational pinch of jealousy in his chest, Jared turned up and well, Jensen honestly didn't mean to snap. It just kind of happened. "I didn't realize you'd been given permission for your girlfriend to stay over at my house."

Jared's steps faltered and he slowly turned to Jensen, considering him with an arched brow and a twitch at the side of his mouth that suggested he was trying not to smirk. "And where did you get the idea that she's my girlfriend?"

Understandably, Jensen wished he could take back the words. Or replay this entire morning so he could make a quick escape out of the kitchen the moment Katie disappeared. Instead he ducked his face to hide the flame of color to his cheeks and sighed. "Sorry, that's none of my business. I um- I don't care if your girlfriend stays over. It's- yeah, whatever. This is your home too."

"I'm not his girlfriend," Katie said quietly from the kitchen doorway, looking a lot more awake than she had before. She was dressed now in the clothes from yesterday and her eyes were red and puffy, reminding Jensen just how heart wrenching his vision of her yesterday had been. "Everyone knows Jared is-"

"Better off single," Jared swiftly interrupted, shooting Katie a look that Jensen couldn't decipher. "And sorry, Jensen, you had every right to be mad. It is your home and I should check with you before having someone stay over."

Jensen swallowed down his internal voice that was not too quietly screaming jack ass and gave Katie a small smile. "I understand. Katie, I'm really sorry about your brother I... you two must have been close."

Katie shifted away from the doorframe and cleared her throat, carrying her cup to the sink and rinsing it out. "We were. How did you know about that anyway? It being my brother and all?"

"Oh I um..." Jensen glanced from Katie to Jared, his heart quickening in his ears. The first vision Jensen had had in two weeks and he was facing having to explain it two people, one of which he still had to live with. Even when they were both likely to consider him insane. "I just... I... I think I need some fresh air. Just a walk, I'll be back."

Before either of them could question him Jensen stood and limped as quickly as he could from the kitchen, his cane clicking loudly on the hardwood floor. He knew as long as Katie was around there would be nothing but questions and even then Jared would probably press for more - knowing Jensen's luck the man would likely accuse him of being a stalker or something else ridiculous.

And what was Jared's deal anyway?

Who was really better off single? Sure Jensen was going through a bit of a romantic slump but he had a damn good reason - six year coma, former love of your life moving on, all that jazz - and as far as Jensen knew, Jared had none of those reasons.

Jensen stopped with his hand on the front door knob, a thought hitting him hard enough it nearly hurt. He had no idea if Jared had any reason for being better off without someone because he didn't know Jared at all. Two weeks he'd been living with this man and he was more likely to go out of his way not to interact because of his pathetic fears rather than even trying to create some sort of friendship.

God damn, Jensen really was a jack ass.

"Jensen? Are you okay?" Jared - unsurprisingly - was there a beat later, touching Jensen's shoulder in a way he never seemed able to help. Some sort of comforting caress to ground both people to the moment.

If only it didn't make Jensen's heart pick up speed and his palms begin to sweat. He swallowed thickly and released the door knob, turning to face Jared and smiling uncertainly. "Do you want to go do something today?"

Surprise - or what Jensen assumed was surprise considering how little he knew about Jared - crossed Jared's features before he smiled. "Yeah? Like what?"

"Um... well I haven't been to the city center in... a really long ass time. We could go there, they have some neat shops." Jensen shrugged and glanced toward the entryway where Katie was lingering. "I mean, unless you need the day off. It's okay, you can spend some time with Katie, help her out or whatever."

"She has to get home to her family." Jared's smile softened like he was reading more into Jensen's words than he should. It would just figure. "I'd love to go to the city center. And here I thought you were mastering your hermit skills."

Jensen flushed at that and ducked his head, small smile playing across his lips. "I've just been working up to the idea of crowds again. I um, I'm just going to go shower then."

He brushed past Jared to head for the stairs, ready to slip under too hot water and not think about that gorgeous dimple curved smile on Jared's face while he jacked off. Once upon a time Jensen was fairly sure things like smiles didn't turn him on.

"Oh hey Jen-" Jared turned and caught his hand and Jensen only had a moment to stare at Jared's lips as they continued to form words that were silent before his vision swam and faded.

Jensen's eyes widened as he found himself staring at... himself. In bed. With Jared. His bed, his bedroom, bodies bare.

The Jensen on the bed moaned softly and rolled away from the sunshine breaking through the blinds. "It is too early to be awake."

"Well maybe if someone hadn't kept me up until two in the morning," Jared snorted and slid closer, tucking arms around Jensen's and pulling him in close so their bare bodies pressed flushed together.

Shock was rippling through Jensen as he crossed over to the bed, staring down at the image of himself and Jared and trying to accept that what he was seeing was real. This didn't seem like a first time deal, they were comfortable together, like this, like they'd been doing this thing for a while.

"That was entirely your fault. I take no respons-" Jensen cut off as Jared's cell phone started playing the original cast version of 'Slipping Through My Fingers' from the musical Mamma Mia. Jensen's brows arched and Jared huffed a laugh as he rolled over to the nightstand.

"Yeah I know, so gay of me, you really need better lines." Jared grinned over at Jensen then answered, lifting the device to his ear. "Hey Mom! How's-"

"Jared-" A woman's voice gasped on the line and, though it seemed the version of him on the bed couldn't hear, Jensen was able to hear her choked sobs clearly. "Your father- it's- oh Jared."

"Mom? What is it? What's wrong?" Jared pushed up off the bed, digging hands roughly up through his hair. "What happened to Dad?"

"He's gone, baby. He had a- he had a heart attack and I- there's nothing I could- it all happened so- so fast."

"Gone?" There were tears streaming down his cheeks and the version of him on the bed instantly moved forward, eyes full of worry. "Mom... Dad is... is he dead?"

"I'm so sorry baby, I'm so, so sorry."

Jensen's knees gave out as he was the room faded and shifted, overwhelmed by the grief and agony lingering from the vision. He'd never felt such an all-consuming swell of heart wrenching pain, not even when he'd learned of the loss of his own father.

"Jensen! Jen!" Jared's arm was firm around Jensen's waist, holding him up, his eyes full of concern. "Hey, you with me?"

"Oh my god." Jensen stared for a long moment as he tried to pull himself the rest of the way from the vision. There was warmth and concern and none of that agony in Jared's face now and it was nearly too much. How could he handle knowing what horrible thing was in Jared's future and not say anything? Jensen pushed away, stumbling back and grasping through thin air like his cane might magically appear. But he'd dropped it during the vision and Jensen's hands windmilled as he began to fall.

Once again Jared was right there, tugging Jensen flush against his body, the worry doubled on his features. "What's going on?"

Just to the side of Jared, Jensen could see Katie looking just as concerned and panic began to rise in his chest. There was nothing about this vision he could handle - not knowing about Jared losing his father, in such a horrible and shocking way. Or knowing that somehow, not too far down the line, they would be cuddled up like lovers in bed sharing inside jokes and late night whatevers.

"I'm... I'm so sorry," Jensen whispered and pulled free from the arm across his waist, fumbling down to pull up his cane and quickly hurry forward. His leg was aching, his heart felt like someone was squeezing it tightly between a clenched fist and tears were beginning to prick along his eyes.

"Jensen?" Jared whispered and Jensen knew he was reaching out to touch but he fell short, Jensen felt just the whisper of a fabric rustle as the fingers fell passed.

"I need... I need Chad. Please. Please call him." Not waiting for an answer, Jensen pushed forward and climbed up the stairs, trying to keep from shaking.

Once the door was closed behind him, Jensen crossed to his bed and dropped down on the mattress, trying to forget the image of Jared laying there with him. Because the last thing he needed was to get turned on while struggling with how to tell Jared his entire life was about to fall apart.

-===-

The soft tap on wood pulled Jensen from his thoughts - which featured a constant stream of his vision playing over and over like a horrible silent film on repeat. The look of adoration on Jensen's face as Jared pressed closer, the way their skin brushed and burned together, the easy warm and familiar smile on Jared's lips. Then, the look of shock as he answered the phone, the barely there moment of disbelief followed quickly by the world shattering agony. Like someone had just taken everything Jared held dear and tore it away.

Jensen didn't know about Jared's relationship with his father - just like he didn't really know anything about Jared - but it was clear they had to be pretty close.

"Hey, Jen? You in there?" Jared's voice called through his door followed by a barely audible sigh. "Is everything okay?"

"Is Chad here?" Jensen asked instead of answering any of the questions. He still wasn't even sure if he could talk to Jared yet, now without blurting out the whole truth of the vision. Then Jared would think he was insane and probably try to get him admitted somewhere, or he'd just leave and Jensen would never see him again.

Maybe Jensen wasn't ready to accept the idea of them getting involved - because knowing parts of his own future was weirdly disconcerting - but he wasn't ready for Jared to just be gone either.

"Will you let me in? So we can talk?" Jared didn't sound annoyed - like Jensen was sure Chad would - just patient and caring like always.

The man was too good to deserve the upcoming blow. "It's open," Jensen finally murmured, ducking his head down because he thought it might be easier not to see Jared's face.

"Chad has to work until four but he promised to come over after that. You still feel like going out? We could take a walk, kill some time until he can come over." Jared spoke quietly once he'd opened the door, leaning against the frame easily.

A good deal of Jensen didn't want to go out with Jared and not just because of his fear of crowds - how would he resist telling? But another part, just as equally pressing, kept picturing how wrecked Jared looked when he learned the news and Jensen felt like he had to comfort the man. Even if it hadn't happened yet.

"What about Katie?" He asked as he slowly stood, reaching out for the cane leaning on the nightstand.

"She went home. She needs to be with her family now." Jared turned away for a moment and Jensen was compelled by the sudden urge to rush forward and tug him in for a hug. It wasn't like he had an excuse not to touch now, he used up his one vision quota. "She said bye though. And mentioned that you were a bit of a spaz. Which... she wasn't wrong."

Jensen managed a faint laugh as he moved to slip into his shoes. Guilt and sadness were eating away at him but Jensen forced the thoughts away. For now, he would take the time to give Jared a chance. And maybe, once he'd spoken with Chad, he would know how to fix this vision just like he had done before.

-===-

The crowd was constant and big, swarming down the sidewalk and across the streets, weaving around the center, and Jensen was frozen for a long minute just outside the passenger door. Why he thought this would be a good idea was beyond him. Except it seemed to be making Jared happy and that helped in erasing that pained look that kept flashing across Jensen's vision whenever his eyes closed.

"I promise not to leave your side," Jared said softly from his side, grinning when Jensen tilted his head up for their gazes to meet. "Think of me as your personal body guard."

Great. Now Jared could be Jensen's personal body guard and save him from all the nasty crowds and in return Jensen would deliver Jared the news that his dad was going to die of a heart attack. Jensen was a horrible human being. God, if he could learn to shut up his internal monologue that would be fan-fucking-tastic. Also, it would probably keep Jared from getting that soft, fond little smile he always seemed to wear whenever Jensen got a little carried away with his thoughts. Like now.

"Stop smiling at me like that, it's creeping me out," Jensen huffed and curled his fingers tight around the top of his cane, pushing his way through the crowd though he wasn't entirely sure he was ready yet.

The city center hadn't changed much from Jensen's memories, a few of the shops looked different but then he couldn't remember the last time he'd actually just browsed through the area. A shoulder brushed against his and Jensen glanced over at Jared who was glancing around the crowd with pursed lips.

For just a moment Jensen wondered if he'd offended the man but Jared never seemed put out by anything Jensen said - no matter how rude - and why would it matter to him anyway? It wasn't like Jensen had taken any time to really get to know the man he'd been living with for the last two weeks.

How the hell did they get to being together like he'd seen if Jared was apparently better off single? Was it possible that Jensen's vision had just been some horrible mistake? For all Jensen knew, Jared didn't even like guys. It wasn't like he'd shown any particular interest in Jensen.

They might as well be strangers - though Jensen had seen a good deal of Jared's bare skin - and he didn't know how to change that.

"Why aren't you dating Katie?" Jensen blurted out the question, figuring it was as good a place to start as any. And it definitely wasn't at all suggestive about his vision.

Jared glanced his way, bemused, before shrugging and clearing his throat. "Would be awkward I guess."

"Why awkward? You seemed plenty close." Jensen knew that most people - normal people - had social skills that involved normal conversations - like getting to know someone and working your way up to challenging questions. Apparently - and obviously - Jensen was not normal.

"Well..." Jared blew out a shaky breath and carded fingers through that damn gorgeous hair before finishing, "I dated her brother. So. Awkward."

Okay, well, Jensen honestly should have seen that one coming. He was a craptastic psychic. So maybe he'd known Jared was into guys but relationships... they'd covered Jared's complete lack of them. Maybe Katie's brother was the reason why.

"The one who died?" Again, with the tact, Jensen was impressing himself with his lack of it.

Jared stopped walking and turned to face him, smile fading slightly as he nodded. "The one who died. He's been sick for a long time. He had AIDS."

The way Jensen's heart skipped a beat and threatened to implode actually hurt. He turned slowly to face Jared, eyeing him as if he could someone read his mind and learn what more there was to the story. Like, was Jared sick too? Was Jared in love with that boy who just died? Damn, why couldn't Jensen have picked up telepathic abilities with his visions?

It seemed like all this death was surrounding Jared. Katie's brother, his Dad in the near future, maybe it was some giant hint. Maybe Jared's entire life was just measured on some short fuse that was counting down like a bomb about to explode.

"I don't have it," Jared finally added when Jensen just continued to stare. "We weren't... it was a long time ago, when I dated him, before he got sick."

Or, maybe, Jensen should really stop thinking so much.

His lips twitched in a soft smile as he looked down at the ground then sighed, shaking his head. He tried to add up the numbers, determine when Jared could have been with Katie's brother and how much it might have affected the man. "Were you two... were you serious?"

"We were five. So, you know. Completely serious until he stepped on my Spiderman." Jared slowly grinned but the action faded just as quickly. "We've known- we knew each other a long time."

All these stupid thoughts Jensen had been stumbling over disappeared, leaving him feeling like an ass all over again. Jared look crushed and Jensen was pretty sure he'd been trying his best not to think about the friend he'd lost. And he had no idea what was to come. Guilt - and maybe the desire to prove he wasn't a complete asshole - had him reaching out and squeezing Jared's arm reassuringly. "Jared... I'm so sorry. I can't imagine losing someone like that."

"Only you can, can't you." Jared smiled once more and shrugged again, laying his hand over Jensen's and squeezing. "I've read your file Jen. I know just who you've lost."

Jensen knew Jared wasn't trying to be hurtful or cold but the words hit him like a knife in the heart. Sure, he'd lost his mom and that had been painful but then he spent years in a coma and all those feelings from before were muted. Even losing his Dad, it was nothing compared to what Jared was going to go through.

He sucked in a quick breath and pulled his hand away, turning from Jared and starting through the crowd again. "I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind."

"I'm sorry Jen I-"

Whatever else Jared had to say was drowned out as he reached out to grab Jensen - who instantly jerked back and snatched the nearest stable thing. Which happened to, of course, be a person walking past.

"Excuse me!" The woman jerked back and Jensen stumbled. He had a strange feeling of being in two places at once, like he was there and blurring.

Two sets of eyes for just a moment, two noses, twice the amount of freckles. It felt like the world was tilting and mixing in an odd kaleidoscope.

"Jensen? What's the matter? Are you okay?"

"God, how rude," the woman snapped and turned, pushing away and through the crowd.

Jared's hands were sliding over the strange mixture of two of him as he struggled to keep from falling. A second later tires were screeching, a scream was echoing out, and Jensen fell back against Jared's chest just as the crowd parted.

The woman was sprawled out on the sidewalk, body disfigured, blood pooling around her. "Oh my god," Jared gasped out from behind him and the two parts of Jensen shuddered and formed into one.

"Excuse me!"

Jensen stumbled hard a few steps back, sucking in a surprised breath. He felt like he was reeling from one too many blows and like he'd stumbled on a very strange case of déjà vu.

"Oh god," he whispered, staring at the woman in shock. When he blinked he saw her lying lifeless on the ground in a pool of blood, when he blinked again she was glaring at him and Jared was gripping his arms tightly.

"Jensen? What's the matter? Are you okay?"

"God, how rude."

The woman turned to push through the crowd and Jensen sucked in a quick breath. "Jared. Jared! Stop her!"

"What? Jen, are you-" Jared turned Jensen, frowning down at him.

Jensen didn't have times for questions, not when any second this woman would be literally walking into her death. He shoved hard at Jared, not caring about the way he stumbled back as long as he got Jared closer to the street. "Go! Stop her! Now!"

Jared blinked at him for just a moment then, for whatever the reason chose to trust Jensen and spun around. He hurried across the sidewalk and even as Jensen stumbled back to fall against the wall he was able to see as Jared reached the woman. Tires screeched and people turned to look as Jared pulled the woman back in time to just barely miss the car speeding past.

The bustle of the crowd picked up again and Jensen slumped back in relief against the wall, closing his eyes and blowing out a shaky breath. That was the closest call he'd ever had. In two weeks he hadn't had a single vision and in the last twenty four hours he'd had three that shook him to his core.

"How did you know that was going to happen?" Jared asked, his voice shaking just slightly as he stepped closer to Jensen.

Jensen forced his eyes open and fought against the swell of panic rising up in his chest. "I need to get out of here. I need to get home. Please. Please take me home."

"Okay. Okay Jensen, we'll get you home." Jared pulled him away from the wall, guiding him through the crowd. But Jensen couldn't handle the close, not then, not after everything he was struggling with.

Even as Jared attempted to tug him closer Jensen broke away, spinning until he could see the parking lot. He pushed through people, keeping his hands tucked close to keep from touching anyone else. He needed to get home, get somewhere safe, and then he needed Chad because his thoughts were absolutely reeling and he had to talk to someone.

The passenger door was thankfully unlocked and Jensen slipped quickly inside, folding himself up as much as possible. Jared joined him a few minutes later, turning the car on but keeping his gaze fixed on Jensen. The longer he continued to stare the hotter Jensen's cheeks grew and his heart literally felt like it was about to explode out his throat.

"What?" He finally snapped, giving Jared his best scowl. "What are you waiting for? Get us fucking out of here."

Jared's mouth fell open then snapped closed and he turned, staring out the windshield. He remained silent for the entire drive home but Jensen was too busy trying not to see Katie's crushed face at the loss of her brother, Jared's agony at the loss of his dad, and that women surrounded by blood to really give it much thought.

-===-

As the doorbell echoed through the house Jensen blew out a relieved breath and took off, limping as quickly as he could down the hall to the stairs. Jared was already opening the door and before either man could say anything he was calling out, "Chad. Thank fucking god. Took you long enough."

Chad stared at Jared for a beat then turned, watching as Jensen headed down the stairs at a much slower rate. "Well I'm so sorry my Queen. Some of us actually have to work for a living."

"And what would you know of work?" Jared asked with a faint laugh.

Jensen glanced his way and felt that already familiar heart clenching guilt and pain on the man's behalf. Jared hadn't really spoken to him in the few hours they'd been home but then, Jensen had been hiding. Every time he tried to begin analyzing the steady repeat of visions he felt like bursting into tears, his mind was kind of on overload at the moment. Just seeing the barely there hint of a smile on his lips made him feel the stab of pain in his chest.

"Listen, Jared..." Jensen sighed and looked away, coming to stop at the base of the stairs. "I need to talk to Chad in, um, in private. Do you think you could go do... something else, for a while?"

This time the smile fell completely from his lips and Jensen felt that pang of guilt with a brand new sharpness. It seemed like being an asshole was just his default mode now. "Yes, Sir. I'll just go clean the upstairs like a good man servant."

Jensen flinched, apology on the tip of his tongue but Jared was already heading up the stairs and it seemed like all the words he knew had vanished. "Damnit."

"You're a genuine piece of work douche bag," Chad grunted and slung his bag to the side, making his way to Jensen's kitchen as if he'd been there far more often than the one time he had actually come over.

It wasn't that big of a surprise and Jensen simply followed, rolling his lips together to keep from exploding into details about the onslaught of visions he had. As it was he felt like he someone had set the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Chad, no matter how infuriating he could be, knew him well enough by now to spot the look on his face. He set the milk carton - that he'd been drinking straight from - down on the counter and dragged the back of his hand over his mouth. "What's happened? What did you see?"

"What the fuck haven't I seen?" Jensen snapped, tapping his cane over and over onto the ground as he let the words tumble up. "First Jared's offering a massage and I nearly lose it then I take off and Katie's suddenly there and I see her sobbing because her brother's died and I can't-"

"Jenny, hey, you're gonna have to breathe and slow it down a few notches if you want my help." Chad placed a hand on Jensen's, squeezing and pressing down to keep the cane tapping from starting all over again. "Now, try it again. Katie's brother died? Man, that's horrible, how'd Jared take it?"

Jensen blinked up at his friend, considering being annoyed because Chad had obviously known about Katie's brother and Jared but failed to mention anything. But well, Jensen supposed Jared could have easily not mentioned a relationship he'd had when he was five and now was really not the time or the place.

"You saw something big didn't you?" Chad asked quietly when Jensen continued to zone out. "Something more than Katie being upset? Was it with Jared?"

"I. Well. I. Yeah. Yes. It was, one of them. There were two, after the one with Katie." Jensen leaned hard against the counter and ducked his head down, trying to separate the visions out in his mind. "There was one, out in the city center, which was really fucking weird because it was like there were two me's and it happened literally seconds after the vision. The woman almost got hit by a car, in my vision she did but after my vision I got Jared to save her which is really awesome of course and-"

"Jensen, newsflash, I am not gay nor interested in you therefore this adorable little rambling thing you've got going on? I just find it annoying. Can you get to the point?" Chad huffed, picking through the fridge for something to eat.

Why Jensen had thought Chad might actually help him without giving him shit about everything first, he didn't know. Chances were, Chad was completely getting off on giving Jensen a hard time and he was going to get a sick thrill out of dropping the bomb on him. "I saw Jared's Dad die."

The pack of ham Chad was holding fell from his hands and Jensen slowly looked up, watching the man turn to face him, his eyes wide. "What?"

"Well, I didn't see him die, I saw Jared receive the news that he had." Jensen exhaled shakily and bit down on his lip, not really getting any more of that thrill from making Chad take him seriously. The man looked as crushed as Jared had been in his vision. "Chad? What do I do?"

"Can it be stopped?" Chad asked in a whisper, slowly closing the fridge and stepping toward Jensen. "Can you keep it from happening?"

Jensen was a little shocked by the tears shining in Chad's eyes. He really hadn't expected that from the blond who was crass and rude more often than not. Swallowing thickly, Jensen slowly shook his head. "It was a heart attack. It was sudden and, and I don't think there's anything that could possibly be done to stop it."

"When? When will it happen?" Chad dropped hard down onto the stool under the counter, fingers rubbing over his eyes.

"Chad? Are you okay?" Jensen stepped closer, completely thrown by the heavy sadness weighing on Chad.

"I- damnit. These visions, you should be able to fix them, to stop it, and when you can't, like with Sandy... it wasn't a death. It was sad and horrible but she's better now without that douche. This is- Gerry, Mr. Padalecki, he's a great man. When school would get to be too much they always let me stay there, he'd sit up and talk with me, his time shouldn't be cut off like this." Chad sighed shakily, wiping the tears from his eyes and turning his gaze finally to Jensen. "Poor Jared. This is gonna hurt."

"I know. And god, I barely know him, but in my vision we were..." Jensen trailed off, not wanting to give Chad all the details. Judging from the way Chad's brows rose, Jensen didn't need to. "Let's just say, we definitely knew a lot more about each other. But I don't know how we'll get there, when I tell him it'll be a miracle if he doesn't hate me forever."

"What? Tell him?" Chad sat up suddenly, hand slapping hard down on the counter. "You can't fucking tell him. You can't even hint that you might know something. So get that fucking insane thought out of your mind."

Jensen straightened up and took a step back, surprised by the sudden force of Chad's words. "What do you mean I can't tell him? Why wouldn't I? He deserves to know what's coming."

"Why? So he can sit around every day waiting for his mom to call him and tell him his dad is dead? Because I know Jared and he will do every fucking thing in his power to fix his dad and that won't ever work will it? Assuming that he believes you in the first place and doesn't lock you up in a fucking nut house. I mean, shit Jen, do you even realize how crazy you'll sound?"

It wasn't like Jensen didn't know just how insane the visions made him sound but he had been counting on Chad helping him figure out the best way to tell Jared. He'd never once considered it a secret he would have to keep. "That's- I can't do that. I can't not tell him. He lives in my house. He's my- we're..."

"You're what? You're nothing Jensen. I mean, besides your obvious fucking crush on him it's not like you guys are really anything." Chad crossed to him even as Jensen scoffed and slid back like he was offended - which he probably had no right to be. "Look, I'm not saying this to be an ass but I need you to take a step back and really think about this."

Jensen frowned and slid his arms over his chest, peering down at the ground as he tried to understand just what Chad was trying to tell him. "I am thinking about it. What if Jared finds out I knew? He'd hate me."

"This isn't something he can ever find out. Jen, think about it, why do you get these visions?" Chad reached out to grab his arm, squeezing until Jensen looked up at him with arched brows. "You get them so you can help, stop something, be there for someone. There's nothing about this situation you can fix but you can be there for Jared. When he's told... when his mom calls, you need to be there to pick up the pieces. You saw what you saw because you needed something to help you get your head out of your ass and learn to be with Jared, so you can help him."

"That's- no. That's too much. I can't just... how am I supposed to help him when I know? What happens if he falls for me or if I fall for him, and then the truth comes out? How the hell will I handle that?" Jensen groaned and stepped out of Chad's touch. "And it's not just keeping this vision secret from him. It's keeping all the visions secret. How do I have a relationship with that between us?"

"Look, I can't stop you from telling Jared but I beg of you to think it through. Let Jared enjoy the time he has left with his dad without waiting for the inevitable end. It's the way life goes Jensen, there are just some things you can't control." Chad's fingers slid back through his hair and Jensen stared long enough to realize just how serious the man was.

And, the real kicker was, Chad was absolutely right. If Jensen told Jared what was going to come, it couldn't possibly go well. And if Jensen somehow ruined the last of Jared's time with his father just because he couldn't keep a secret? God, Jensen would be beyond an asshole. "Damnit. What is the point of these fucking visions if I can't magically fix everything?"

"Visions?"

Jensen jerked back from Chad and spun quickly, staring wide eyed over at Jared standing in the entrance of the kitchen. Of all the times for Jared to walk in, this wasn't the absolute worst but it was pretty high up there. He blinked a few times and looked from Jared to Chad and back again. "Um... what?"

"Did you just say you get visions?" Jared stepped further into the kitchen, frown deepening on his lips.

Panic shot up through Jensen and he quickly shook his head, mind reeling with all the possible excuses and explanations he could use. "No I- it was just-"

"Don't worry about it Jay, man, we were just talking some things out." Chad interrupted Jensen's fumbling smoothly, crossing around the counter and stooping down to snatch up the dropped ham.

"Talking things out? About these visions you apparently don't have?" Jared went from looking confused to looking skeptical, lips pursed together, eyes narrowing.

"There are no visions." Jensen snapped, glaring at Jared. He didn't want to automatically fall back into the asshole routine - especially when they'd just discussed how he needed to be there for Jared - but he needed the man to back off.

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure I heard-"

"Look, you don't even fucking know me, so don't start acting like you're entitled to any information about me." Jensen brushed hard past Jared, leaning heavily on his cane as he headed up the stairs.

Fleeing the room when things got tough was really turning into an Olympic sport for Jensen. But he was right, Jared didn't know him, and this was his secret to keep. It was safer behind his bedroom door.

Part Three

Masterpost

Six Years After 1/4 - Jared/Jensen

2012-09-27T00:05:36Z

Title: Six Years After 1/4
Author: anyothergirl415
Words: ~29,500
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jensen/Riley
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 – angst, minor violence, minor character death
Summary: Jensen had a lot of things going for him – mostly, minus the recent loss of his mother and the boyfriend who wouldn’t come out of the closet. But a car accident one rainy night took it all away and gave him a power he never expected. Based loosely on the TV version of The Dead Zone.

Despite the rain pelting in sheets across the windshield, Jensen pressed his foot a little harder on the pedal. A grin split his face because this was one of those nights he just couldn't wait to get home. The day had been too long, his work too slow, and Jensen had a million and one other things he'd so much rather be doing.

And, well, tonight was kind of a big night.

When his phone rang, Jensen glanced down at the caller ID and sighed, shaking his head before lifting the device and pressing it up against his ear. "What? I haven't even been gone five minutes."

"You could have stopped by before leaving." His dad sighed into the line and Jensen tried hard not to roll his eyes. Leave it to his father to lay on the guilt trip on such an important night. "I want your opinion about your mother's last-"

"It can wait, Dad - Until tomorrow or whenever. I'll get to it." Jensen rubbed at his brow.

"I just think your mother would want this taken care of sooner-"

"She's dead, Dad. She's not coming back. And the paperwork can wait un-" The car hit a bump and Jensen trailed off, head glancing down as the papers on his passenger seat slid to the floor.

Whatever his father responded with was drowned out by the squeal of tires and Jensen's gaze snapped up, growing wide at the flash of bright lights.

-===-

Jensen blinked his eyes open, staring up at the dark spotted ceiling above him. His body felt... a little stiff though strangely loose, like he'd been lying in bed for a little too long. When he swallowed his throat felt dry and he slowly shifted to figure out what had happened and what he was doing here. Or where here was.

"Alright Mr. Ackles, time for your-- holy shit you're awake."

Jensen blinked up at the wide blue eyes fixed down on him belonging to the blonde haired hospital worker. Right. A hospital. Jensen must have been in some sort of accident, that explained the scenery. And yeah, come to think of it, Jensen was pretty sure he remembered the flash of lights.

"How long-" Jensen choked on the words, surprised by just how hard it felt to form them. Had something damaged his vocal cords during the crash or something? "What--"

"Shh, it's okay, don't try to speak." The hospital worker set his tray on the table and hurried forward, pressing a call button that beeped loudly and hurt Jensen's ears. "Mr. Ackles? Jensen? My name is Chad. Don't worry, you're okay, you've just... you've been in a coma for quite a while now."

Once more Jensen blinked, wondering if it would change the way things seemed so weirdly blurry, like the man's body was wavering at the edges. Something felt really... strange about this entire thing. If he'd been in a coma for whatever constituted as a while then his crash had to be pretty bad but he didn't have any casts and he didn't feel too physically damaged.

Chad was going on about something, getting the doctor or getting his meds, but Jensen was stuck on trying to sort everything out.

"How long?" Jensen asked, straining to lift his head from the pillow - but his neck felt so weirdly weak. Chad just stared at him and Jensen swallowed thickly and tried again. "How long... have I been in a coma?"

The look on Chad's face was clearly uncomfortable, his gaze shifting to the open front door and slowly back. "I'm not sure I should..."

"Please. Tell me." Jensen's heart quickened, his stomach twisting in anticipation of the fear of knowing. Something told Jensen whatever he was about to hear was going to throw his world into chaos.

"Well... six years."

Jensen was right. The very idea caused his brain to overload and once more the world faded into darkness.

-===-

When Jensen's eyes opened once again he was sure the conversation with the hospital worker named Chad must have been a dream; eespecially when his gaze settled on Riley. "Oh thank fuck," he nearly gasped and pressed his hands down into the mattress on either side of his body.

But his arms didn't appear to be strong enough, he only rose a couple of inches off the bed before falling back and Riley stepped forward, his eyes wide with shock. "I thought they had to be lying. That it was a joke or something. I didn't think..."

"Ri," Jensen reached out, swallowing thickly at the shaky tone in Riley's voice. Jensen had heard that before - only a few weeks ago for that matter, when they once again fought over whether Riley could risk coming out to his family. "It's alright, I'm- I'm okay. See? I'm just... a little weak. Okay? So it's all-"

"God Jen- Jensen. It's been... fuck I stopped even hoping." Riley dug his hands up into his hair, turning to pace away from Jensen and stare out the window. "They said it was a less than ten percent chance. They said you'd never..."

The more Riley spoke the worst Jensen felt, his heart picking up speed and his breath catching in his throat. "Stop. Come on. It's only been- I just saw you. Yesterday, right? We were supposed to have a nice dinner, I was going to... are you..."

Jensen trailed off as Riley turned toward him, tears forming on the rims of his eyes. It felt like someone had shoved their fist into his stomach and twisted his guts and Jensen was scared to hear anything more. The look on his boyfriend's face said so much.

And then Riley stepped forward and something on his finger caught in the afternoon sunlight and Jensen felt suddenly light headed. There was a gold ring on Riley's left ring finger and Jensen had never noticed it before. As his heart began to twist and ache his gaze drifted up. Riley's hair was longer, lighter, and there were wrinkles along the edges of his eyes that had never been there before. His skin was tan like it always was in summer but... but.

It wasn't summer. It was the middle of October and Riley's tan had long since faded.

"Oh fuck," Jensen gasped in a breath, lurching up despite the way his muscles protested, he slid from the bed and tried to stand. "Has it really-"

Apparently Jensen had pushed his weak muscles too far. His legs gave out in the next moment and Riley hurried forward, reaching out for him. "Jensen? Just take it easy okay? Try not to push..."

Riley's voice faded off and for a moment Jensen thought he was going to black out again. His vision swam, the colors faded, and everything twisted out of focus.

"What do you mean he's awake?"

A heavy sigh fell from Riley's lips and he turned along the well-polished hardwood floor, dragging a hand up through his hair. "Just like I said, He's awake. They called me because I'm the only one listed for him now. I had to talk to him and he just…."

"You went and saw him? Seriously? What the fuck Riley? Does this mean you're just going to leave me now? Run back to him? He's the one who left you for six years."

"Left me? Fuck Tom, he was in a goddamn coma!" Riley spun to the tall dark haired man and paced forward, grabbing his left hand and thumbing over the ring on his finger. "You are my husband and I love you. More than anything. But I can't just write Jensen off. He has no one left."

"Jensen? Hey? Are you okay?"

"It's alright Riley, his muscles just aren't used to so much work." Chad the hospital worker with bright blue eyes was back and scooping Jensen up, lifting him easily up onto the bed once more.

Jensen was rapidly blinking the tears from his eyes, his heart racing and his stomach churning unpleasantly. "You're married," he gasped out, looking up at Riley through the tears. "Tom... who is he? How did you meet? How long after my accident did you wait to replace me?"

"I- how did you know about that? How do you know about Tom?" Riley looked from Jensen to Chad. "You said you didn't tell him anything."

"I didn't." Chad stepped back, frowning at them both.

"I saw it. I saw you and him, talking about me waking up." Jensen rubbed at his eyes, not sure how to explain the image that had passed before his eyes. It had clearly been Riley and this man Tom, in a nice kitchen with hardwood floors and shiny appliances, and Jensen knew that look in his boyfriend - once boyfriend's - eyes. Riley was in love with Tom and Jensen's entire world was suddenly completely upside down.

Chad and Riley stared down at him for a long moment, both clearly confused. After a moment, Chad turned away and spoke. "It's been a really stressful day; I think Jensen should probably get some more rest. Maybe you can come back at a later time."

"No I don-"

"That sounds like a good idea." Riley nodded and reached out, hesitating for a moment and patting Jensen's shoulder. "Take care Jensen. I um, I'm glad you're awake. Really. Try not to push yourself too much okay?"

With that Riley turned and left the room, leaving Jensen with a million and one questions and no answers. What the fuck was going on?

-===-

Over the next few days Jensen was poked a lot, prodded, treated somewhat like a walking miracle and Jensen supposed maybe that was true, but his life felt nothing like it. He sat in front of the TV in his wheelchair - as often as they would let him - and tried to absorb the changes that had happened in the world. Different President, different laws - the battle for gay marriage was one of the many things making his heart quicken - almost a whole damn different world.

But before he could watch more the attendants, most often Chad, would come and wheel him away and no one would tell him anything about the more personal details. Like Riley. Or his father, who had yet to come in to visit Jensen since he woke. Chad was friendly enough - though he got a bit pissy when Jensen called him a nurse, which was how Jensen learned he wasn't in fact in a hospital and was in a long term care facility instead.

And apparently nurse was a sensitive title for Chad, who was just a CNA. Whatever. The guy was weird, that much was clearly obvious.

On the third day in this new world, things got fuzzy in a strange way all over again. Since that first day Jensen had written the mini-movie in his mind when he touched Riley off to something else. Like being in a coma for six years and waking up to a shocking new reality. But this time, as Chad helped him from the chair and into the bed, he slipped and almost fell and his hand fell hard on Chad's forearm.

The world around him faded and spun and suddenly Jensen found himself staring out a street that looked only vaguely familiar.

And then he was in a car, in the passenger seat, and Chad was sitting there beside him. Chad was singing along to the radio loud enough that he couldn't possibly know Jensen was there. For a moment Jensen wondered if maybe he'd blacked out and for some reason Chad had kidnapped him, maybe he thought Jensen was asleep there beside him.

Then the radio DJ's voice came on. That was the ridiculously popular 'Moves like Jagger' by Maroon 5. It's twenty past five and you're listening to the top forty with-

The DJ cut off abruptly and Chad swore loudly, slamming the heel of his palm on the radio. Jensen lifted his gaze as Chad's stayed focused on the radio and his heart skipped a beat. There was a truck coming right at them, crossing the lane, running the light on Windsong Avenue.

Chad looked up just in time to watch the large truck smash into them and just as suddenly as Jensen had appeared in the car he was gone again.

"Hey? Jensen? You okay?" Chad was hovering over him and Jensen had a sickening moment of fear, like he knew this would be the last time he saw the blond haired man that had become one of his only friends in this new world.

Jensen's eyes snapped over to the clock on the wall. It was almost five now and he sucked in a sharp breath before trying to push up to sit. "Don't take your normal route home."

"Take it easy, come on, don't overdo it and pass out again." Chad laughed softly and shook his head, pressing the button to raise the bed up so Jensen was sitting more. "That better?"

"Listen to me Chad," Jensen snapped and blew out a shaky breath when Chad arched his brows curiously. "There's- you're going to get hit, head on by a truck when you cross Windsong Avenue. You can't take that route home."

"Dude. Stalker much? How the hell do you know what route I take home?" Chad stepped back, deep frown on his face.

Jensen stared down at his hands, unsure how to answer Chad's supposedly simple question. How did he know? How could he see something like that? It had felt so real, just like it had when he touched Riley. So apparently not only had Jensen lost six years of his life and his boyfriend - the supposed love of his life - but he was insane now too. Awesome.

"I don't know," he finally whispered when Chad simply continued to stare. "I just... saw it. You have to trust me Chad. The crash will kill you, I know it. At- at the very least, when your radio stops working after Moves like Jagger by Maroon 5, don't look at it. Keep your eyes on the road. Please? For me?"

"Man, you are some new breed of freaky." Chad laughed but it didn't sound near as friendly as normal and Jensen swallowed a sigh.

But he would take losing Chad's friendship as long as it meant the man was still alive.

"Will you just promise me?" Jensen forced his gaze up and pursed his lips. "You're one of the only people who will talk to me like I'm a normal person, not some god damn second coming."

The smile on Chad's lips twitched then warmed and he nodded slowly. "Yeah alright man, I'll be careful. Now, I'm out of here and I will see you in the morning. Take it easy okay?"

Jensen watched as Chad left, trying to shake the feeling that he'd never see the man again.

-===-

"Holy fucking shit dude!" Chad burst into Jensen's room two hours later, causing Jensen to jump from the place he was dozing in his bed.

Jensen's heart was instantly slamming into double time and he ignored the ache and protest of his muscles as he forced himself upright. "What? What happened? Are you okay?"

Chad let the door fall shut with a heavy thunk and paced forward, digging fingers up into his hair. "I can't believe- I can't- I almost fucking died. How did you know? How the hell did you do that? What is- what."

The panic in Chad's words, painted across his face, was kind of amusing but Jensen swallowed down the laugh and tried not to freak out himself. After all, Chad's words meant Jensen's little vision thing had been real. Which meant Jensen really could apparently see the future. And good god.

"I have no idea how I did it. I just- we touched and I saw... that. The whole moment, with the song and you singing badly and loudly…"

"Hey!"

"And then your radio went out and the truck was just there. It came at you and- so it really happened? How did you survive?" Jensen huffed out an almost excited breath, his emotions torn. He'd never really been a unique person before, never had something special about him, and now... this.

"The song was on and then, the radio went out and I just... I remembered what you said. I forced my gaze to stay on the road, I swerved in time to miss the truck. It crashed into a pole and I pulled over so I could help." Chad had rambled his answer and now he stood staring wide eyed at Jensen like somehow this would all line itself up and become something sane. "What the fuck man?"

"Apparently if you manage to wake after a six year coma you get a super power," Jensen offered, hoping that he'd break the tension by causing Chad to laugh.

The man didn't exactly laugh but some of the shock seemed to drain from his features and he slowly sat on the bed beside Jensen, scrubbing hard along the back of his neck. "Well. Alright then. I uh, okay, right so. What the hell do we do now?"

"We?" Jensen frowned for a moment then looked back up. "You mean, you're not going to commit me to a psych hospital or at least laugh in my face?"

"What? After you saved my life? I'm not an ungrateful douche, asshole, god." Chad huffed out an annoyed breath and smacked Jensen's arm just a little too hard.

Jensen flinched and arched his brows at Chad, wondering if the blond realized just how much he was contradicting himself. When Chad only stared back in response Jensen rolled his eyes and looked away. "Alright, well then I guess we... keep an eye on things? I can let you know if I have any further visions and we can try to... fix things? Should the vision be fixable?"

"Are you supposed to be fixing things like that? I mean, isn't it messing with fate or something? Or some type of spatial paradox Star Trek shit?" Chad scrunched his face up as he obviously struggled to put the pieces together in his mind.

The laugh Jensen released had to be a little crazy sounding and he tilted his head back, collapsing back onto his pillow. It had been a long time since he laughed - six years and a couple of weeks at least - and by the time he calmed down Chad was smiling softly like he understood just how Jensen felt. It reminded Jensen how fucked up everything was right now and how alone he really was, which had the smile sliding off his face in pretty quick fashion.

"I saved your life, which has to suggest I've got good karma on my side now and fate won't fuck with me. As for the paradox, I'm pretty sure that only happens when you travel to the future, or the past, or something like that. And I'm pretty sure Star Trek has nothing to do with it. So saving other people when I see something bad happening to them? Well, it has to be a good thing, right?" Maybe it would even give Jensen some type of purpose, something he was pretty sure he was going to need and soon.

Chad hummed thoughtfully for a few long moments then pushed up to stand, nodding. "Yeah okay, that sounds legit. So I'll help you as much as I can. For now, I'm out of here."

"Where are you going?" Jensen tried not to sound too upset but after getting a very clear confirmation that his visions were real, he could use some company.

Apparently the unease must have been clear in his voice because Chad stopped before he reached the door, frowning slightly. "Relax dude, I'm just... I really shouldn't be here after my shift ends and after everything that's just happened? I'm feeling the major need to get extremely wasted. When you get out of here we'll have plenty of buddy buddy times I promise."

A smile played across Jensen's lips and he nodded. "Okay. I'll um, I'll hold you to that. Have a good night Chad."

"Yeah Miss Cleo, you too." Chad shot him a smirk over his shoulder before heading out of the room and leaving Jensen to his thoughts.

Which were really too much at the moment.

-===-

It took a solid three weeks post the wake up before Jensen saw Riley again. Honestly, Jensen had given up on ever seeing his former lover again but then there he was, walking across the courtyard to the place Jensen sat in his wheelchair under the giant oak tree. Jensen's mouth instantly dried up and his heart ached. A good part of him was still trying to get over the man because up until a couple of weeks ago, he had sworn they were in love.

"Hey... Jen-sen. Jensen. How are you doing?" Riley shifted awkwardly in place, his hands sliding in and out of his pockets like they always did when he didn't know what to do with himself.

Jensen arched his brows and tried not to answer like Chad would. Which would be something like, I just woke after six years to find the person who supposedly loved me has moved on, I can see the future when I touch someone, and my muscles are fucking useless, how the hell do you think I'm doing? Yeah, that probably wouldn't go over so well.

"Fine," he answered instead and looked down, forcing his hands together on his lap and stretching out his legs as much as he could. "Um... how are you?"

"Oh I'm alright. I- yeah I'm... okay. So... well, look, they've called me - a couple of times actually - because there's apparently a few questions about your personal life you keep asking and they think it'd be better coming from someone you know. The answers you know? So, here I am. To answer your questions."

"How thoughtful of you," Jensen muttered dryly, unable to hold back the annoyance that flashed through him. Riley made it sound like some terrible inconvenience, being here with Jensen, and that hurt more than it should given the circumstances.

"Hey! You can give me a break you know." Riley dropped heavily onto the bench beside Jensen and scoffed. "You have no idea how hard this has been on me."

Jensen's gaze snapped up toward Riley and he scowled. "How hard it's been on you? Excuse me, were you the one in a coma for six years? Only to wake up and find your entire world upside down? To find your lover gave up on you and your father doesn't even give a damn enough to come and visit? How dare you act like this-"

"He's dead Jensen! Fuck. Do you really think he wouldn't come to see you? Not everyone is a self-righteous asshole like you are." Riley was practically spitting the words by the time he finished but Jensen didn't notice.

Instead his mind was caught up and stuck on Riley's words. Jensen's stomach rolled and he could feel his lunch rising up his throat. Dead. His Dad was dead. Jesus Christ. It wasn't even that long ago Jensen was still reeling with the loss of his mother - though realistically, he supposed it was actually over six years ago - and now this.

"Shit. God, I'm sorry Jen I- I shouldn't have said it like that. I... are you okay?" Riley reached out, rubbing his shoulder reassuringly. "Just take a few deep breaths okay."

Jensen needed more than a few deep breaths. He tilted away from the touch - because it was just too much - and closed his eyes against the dizzying rush. Things had been more than a little rough with his father before the accident. Jensen was always closer to his mother and he'd never appreciated the way his father had acted when Jensen's mother was sick and on her deathbed - that and his reaction to having a gay son, it had almost torn them apart.

But he'd always thought there was time; that he would somehow repair his relationship with his father, and maybe the man had even started to reach out to him but Jensen hadn't been ready. Now it was too late and Jensen would never have that opportunity again. His heart slammed painfully hard against his chest and he swallowed down the rolling threat of bile.

"How?" He finally managed to gasp out, turning to look at Riley who was watching him with sympathetic eyes. "How did it happen? When?"

"About a year after you... after the accident. He just... didn't wake up one morning. People said it was too much, losing Donna and then you." Riley's gaze flickered from Jensen then away, lips tugging down in a heavy frown. "He just didn't see a reason to hold on anymore I guess."

Jensen - who had never seen Riley even interact with his father - stared for another long moment before sucking in a shuddering breath. "You and him... actually met?"

Riley huffed an unbelieving laugh and shook his head. "Yes. Jensen, Jesus, do you really think I wasn't with you every step of the way when your accident happened? I- I hardly left your room for weeks. And then you just kept sleeping and people had to pull me back into the real world. I had to keep living my life but I was still here, I came almost every day for over two years. After your father passed it was just... there was only so long before they wanted to move you to this place. I tried to fight it but eventually I had to just let them. I had to let you go."

The sadness in Riley's words was clear and Jensen could feel it heavily pressing down on him but he couldn't escape the idea that it had only taken two years for Riley to let go. He tried to imagine what he would have done if the tables were turned, if Riley had been the one in a coma, but he couldn't say. He liked to imagine he would have stayed by his former lover's side always but that was likely only because he now knew how it felt to be left.

Jensen battled with the tangle of feelings rising in him and bit his lip to hold back the rise of tears. Riley gave all he could and Jensen had to accept that and let the man off the hook, no matter how much it terrified him to know how genuinely alone that left him.

"Are you happy?" Jensen whispered, tilting his head up enough to glance at Riley from under his lashes. He watched his former lover's mouth open and close slowly then forced himself to continue. "With Tom. Does Tom make you happy?"

Riley hesitated a moment longer before exhaling audibly and nodding. "Yeah. He... he's been a really big help for me, we were just friends initially but he was so sweet and-"

"I don't need details," Jensen snapped, a little too harshly, then looked back up with a weak smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound harsh. I just... I don't think I'm quite ready to hear the details. I'm... I understand. I get why you had to move on and let me go. I promise I won't- I won't come between you two and I won't hold it against you. I just want you to be happy. Okay?"

There was a long moment of pause then Riley threw his arms around Jensen, hugging him tight. Jensen closed his eyes and tried not to lean into the touch too much. He could feel tears forming at his eyes and he squeezed them shut hard, tugging out of Riley's touch as much as he could.

"Jen..." Riley whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," Jensen managed to gasp out, turning away from Riley. "I just, need some time. I'm sure you do too. We should just, take some time, apart, and I'll get over you."

"Are you-"

"Please." Jensen dug his nails into his palms, more overwhelmed than he anticipated feeling. "Please, Riley, just go."

The tears that had been threatening finally burned over, streaking hot lines down his cheeks and Jensen tried not to listen to the heavy fall of Riley's feet as he walked away. Riley had been there to provide answers and, naturally, he'd left Jensen reeling with heartache and the deepest sense of loss.

"Hey, you okay?" Chad's voice was soft and gentle, fingers stroking reassuringly over Jensen's shoulder.

There were still tears falling down Jensen's cheeks and he shook his head, unable to get his voice to work just then. Thankfully Chad understood and grabbed the handles of Jensen's wheelchair, pushing him inside.

-===-

"Okay Jensen, just a few more steps and you can do it."

For the most part Jensen was fairly fond of all the people who worked at his temporary place of residency. But after a near two hour workout, all of his muscles were protesting and his body was close to collapsing, so there was no liking anyone at this point. Especially not Sandy, with her perky bright smile and her big brown eyes; Jensen would never hit a woman but boy was he tempted.

"Come on now, I know you're tired but we just have to make it down one more walk way and then I promise you can rest."

Jensen sucked in a deep breath and forced himself forward, his fingers straining to clutch around the bars on either side of him. There was sweat beading across his flushed face and the next breath was labored and painful. Before this - before the accident and the damn coma - Jensen could bench press near two twenty, no problem.

And now this.

"Okay just a few more steps. You can do it Jensen, I know you can. Just a few more."

Seriously, if this kept up, Jensen was going to end up passing out on Sandy. That would teach her. Just a few more his ass.

Finally, what felt like a lifetime later, Jensen reached the end of the walkway and he nearly fainted in relief. The wheelchair was right in front of him and Jensen thought maybe he could just make it a couple more steps, then he could sit, and relax and not have to repeat this horrible torture until... that afternoon. Damnit.

But even with his best intentions in mind - like showing Sandy that he was fully capable of getting himself into the chair despite the way she hovered like a worried mother hen - it wasn't all that easy. Jensen swayed then stumbled and before he could think better of it, his hand snapped out to grab the first thing he could.

Which, in this case, happened to be Sandy's hand. And Jensen didn't even have a moment to brace himself before the world around him faded.

Fear was covering Sandy's usually bright features, fear and pain and something like resignation. Her hand hovered just above the doorknob of a hotel room, its numbers on the wood rusted and tarnished.

All the air rushed from Sandy as a moan sounded from inside the room and the girl finally closed her hand around the knob and twisted. It took only a moment for the door to swing open and Sandy sucked in the breath she'd just released. There was none of the fear on her face now, just betrayal and pain and the deepest type of heartache.

"How could you?"

The couple on the bed - that were in the middle of a rather rough looking round of fucking - froze and the man's eyes widened. "Shit. Sandy. Shit shit shit. I- Jesus San- what are you doing here? How did yo-"

"How the fucking hell could you?" Sandy snapped, stalking across the room and shoving hard at the man. "I trusted you Jonathan! I loved you! How could you do this to me? We're supposed to get married! You're supposed to love me forever!"

"Hey? Jensen? Can you hear me?"

It was such a shock to be pulled from the vision, to hear Sandy's voice so soothing and calm, that Jensen could only stare. His gaze flickered down to the shiny diamond on Sandy's ring finger and his heart ached for the girl. So much of him wanted to say something, to warn the girl not to go to the hotel, but this was one future event he couldn't stop.

Sandy didn't deserve to be broken in such a way but she had to know the truth. It was better than learning some time later, like after they'd married. Not telling the girl though, that was a tough one.

"You okay Jen?" Sandy sounded even more worried now and she knelt down, reaching out for his hand.

Jensen jerked back before she touched him again - just in case the vision repeated itself, he couldn't handle that. "I- I'm fine. I'm okay. Can you just... can you get Chad?"

Hurt flickered across Sandy's delicate features before she nodded and stood. "Yeah okay, I'll go get him. You just sit tight."

Like he was going anywhere. Jensen couldn't escape the betrayal on Sandy's face from his vision, the way tears had streamed down her cheeks as she yelled at Jonathan, it almost brought tears to his own eyes.

When Chad showed up a few minutes later he took one look at Jensen's face then squeezed his shoulder and silently wheeled him from the workout room. He didn't pressure Jensen to tell what he'd seen and he simply sat and listened when Jensen explained it on his own a few minutes later in the confines of his own room.

"Holy shit..." Chad whispered when Jensen had finished, rubbing at the faux-goatee he was trying out. "Poor girl. I remember when they got engaged. She was so excited."

"Well, at least she knows now," Jensen sighed and shifted on his bed, wishing he could wipe the vision from his mirror. "Or... she will know. Tonight, tomorrow. Sometime soon."

Chad groaned and stood, shaking his head roughly. "We have to tell her. No one should have to find out that way. She deserves better, she's such a sweet girl."

Before Chad could leave the room Jensen reached out and snagged his arm, tugging him back. "You can't. One, you'll sound absolutely bat shit insane and two, she needs to know. It will hurt but it could hurt more in the long run. All we can do is comfort her when... after she finds out."

It didn't seem like Chad was going to agree, the argument was clear on his face, but a moment later he sighed and nodded, sitting hard down on his chair. This vision thing was suddenly a lot more complicated.

-===-

Jensen had never realized just how extensive the healing process post coma could really be. But, three months later when he was getting an okay to finally head home, he had a whole new respect for the medical practice. When Jensen had first woken his muscles were weak if not useless and he felt exhausted just from moving from the bed to the wheelchair. After countless hours of rehab though - not to mention more than a dozen annoyingly cheerleader like conversations with Chad - Jensen was ready to face the real world.

With the help of the constant cane at his side of course and a live in medical aid/physical therapist; the aid thing was something Jensen was still a little hesitant about. It already felt strange knowing he was heading home to his parent's manor, a place he hadn't lived since he'd graduated high school and promptly moved out. But now he was going to be living with a stranger who was going to be in charge of his well-being, it was more than a little overwhelming.

Throw the visions on top of that and Jensen was almost tempted to stay behind the safe walls of the rehab center. Besides, of course, the visions that Jensen couldn't escape. But he was trying not to think about those.

"You ready?" Chad clapped Jensen hard on the shoulder, causing him to sway forward before regaining his balance.

Jensen scowled as he looked up and found Chad smirking at him. "Are you planning on killing me first?"

"Oh boo hoo you big baby," Chad huffed, rolling his eyes and tugging the back door of his car open, tossing Jensen's bag in. "You just be thankful that I'm even giving you a ride. If you'd had to wait for Jared you might be here all afternoon."

It wasn't the first time Chad had made some offhand comment about Jensen's new aid - whose name was Jared and apparently had attended school with Chad which wasn't very reassuring - and this one was no less comforting. "If I call you in the middle of the night because my aid has set my house on fire by cooking popcorn or something, will you come to my rescue?"

"Only if you can produce those winning lotto numbers." Chad shot him a smirk as he drove out of the parking lot, taking Jensen toward a freedom he hadn't ever expected to regain again.

A potentially insane - and Chad-like - aid and fear of the real world aside, Jensen was mostly relieved to be breathing completely fresh air again. Or well, as fresh as the air in Chad's car was. Which was questionable. "I told you, I don't control how the visions come. You think I want to watch people learning some horrible news? Or walking in on their lovers cheating on them? It sucks."

"You're telling me. I become a super hero's sidekick and he doesn't even have awesome powers." The longing sigh that fell from Chad had Jensen glancing over with an arched brow, not surprised the smirk was still there on the blonde’s lips.

"You would make a horrible side kick." Jensen slowly grinned at his friend and - not for the first time - he was relieved to have Chad there at his side. They'd grown impossibly close over the last few months and Jensen was pretty sure he'd never have made it through the emotional turmoil without him.

"Shut your pretty ass face, I would be the best side kick there ever was." Chad smacked Jensen's arm a little too hard, laughing when Jensen winced.

There was some sort of retort on the tip of Jensen's tongue but the words cut off as they turned up the drive of his home and his eyes landed on the man waiting outside his truck. He was tall with golden hair, built like a god had shaped and molded each perfect muscle in a tender caress while up in the heavens, and maybe Jensen had spent a little too long confined in one place. Whatever. This man was absolutely gorgeous and Jensen had a sinking feeling in his gut as to who he was exactly.

"Oh good, Jared's already here which means I don't have to spend even more time with your lame ass. And, you're drooling."

Jensen snapped his jaw shut quickly, nearly biting his tongue and turning his gaze away. "You didn't tell me he was so, so... god damn," Jensen muttered, trying to fight off the way his cheeks were burning. This was just unfair, Jensen had spent the last three months getting over Riley, moving on mentally, and now he finally felt ready to start just thinking about his future dating life. That did not make him ready to be living with some guy who'd be better suited as the star of some porn movie.

"There is no god damn when it comes to Jared. Or dicks in general." The sheer ew level that Chad was stressing was thick in his voice and Jensen groaned and rubbed along the back of his neck.

There was just no way Chad could understand. "While I'm relieved to learn you won't be competition, there's no way I can handle this."

Chad turned the key in the ignition and pulled it free, looking over at Jensen with a look that made it clear just how stupid he thought Jensen sounded. "How about you just focus on the fact that this man is supposed to be helping you live and stop imagining him jumping your bones, yeah?"

"I hate you," Jensen breathed moments before the passenger door was opened and Jared was there, squatting down to meet Jensen's eyes and lay the full force of his dimple laced grin on him.

"Hey there! You must me Jensen. I'm Jared Padalecki, and it's so great to meet you."

It would just figure Mr. Tall, Bronze, Super Porn God was nice to boot. Jensen smiled weakly and stared at the offered hand, weighing the pros and cons of potentially seeing whatever future would be as a result of Jared's touch. He decided he'd rather not learn his new aid's dirty details right off the bat and gave his hand a weak, quick slap of fingers that was over before any vision blurring could begin. "Uh yes, that's me. Nice to meet you Jared."

"Fantastic. Come on, I'll help you up." Jared didn't hesitate - or lose his smile, despite Jensen's rather awkward attempt at a high five - reaching in to easily pull Jensen's legs out from under the dash and turn him as if Jensen weighed nothing.

Jensen was still trying to process that when the man scooped in, looped an arm around his middle and dragged him up to his feet. If Jensen swayed any more than usual it was only because Jared smelled so good. "I uh- I can do it. I can get up myself, I mean. I'm fine."

"Oh, right, sorry. Was just..." Jared's smile dimmed slightly as he stepped away from Jensen, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Anyway, um, do you have any items I can take inside for you?"

"Here you go Pada-dick." Chad shoved Jensen's bag hard against Jared's chest.

Jensen gripped his cane tightly, blinking wide eyed from Jared to Chad. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know the reason behind that nickname, or the reason it brought a blush bright to Jared's cheeks, no matter how curious he was. "Right. Well. I'm not touching that. Chad, are you sticking around?"

"Nah, gonna give you two a chance to bond." Chad smirked and clapped Jensen hard on the shoulder, snorting a laugh when Jensen stumbled a couple steps forward and Jared hurriedly tried not to drop the bag in his arms and keep Jensen from falling. "See you douches later, try not to bump dicks too much!"

The amount of heat that crawled up Jensen's cheeks was rather remarkable and he wanted to hiss out Chad's name but his supposed friend was just laughing in that evil, maniacal way of his and Jensen would rather not draw any more attention to his embarrassment. Chad roared his engine a little too loudly before squealing out of the driveway and speeding off down the road.

Jensen was left standing beside Jared outside a house he hadn't been inside in years and riding out a painful wave of heat.

"Typical Chad," Jared muttered then laughed, offering his free hand out to Jensen. "Shall we head inside."

Once again faced with the idea of grasping Jared's hand - and fuck couldn't the guy take a hint - feeling that smooth warmth along his skin, was tempting but Jensen wasn't sure he could risk it. Last time their touch had been so fleeting and Jensen had been lucky not to see anything, but he couldn't risk threading their fingers together. Who held hands with completely strangers anyway? So instead he squeezed his cane harder and pressed forward, ducking his head to keep from seeing any look that might be on Jared's face at the brush off.

"So... this is a pretty big place," Jared continued casually so Jensen figured he wasn't hurt or anything because he didn't want to hold hands. "It belonged to your family I'm assuming?"

It just figured that Chad had been riling him up for nothing. Jared was probably as straight as they came - and even if he wasn't, he sure wouldn't be interested in a freak like Jensen who'd spent the last six years in a coma and got weird freaky visions when he touched people. So really it was better to stop thinking about it now and start adjusting to this gorgeous man being his new roommate and constant companion.

"Uh yeah. Has been in my family for almost a century." Jensen finally answered after too long of a pause, tugging his keys from his pocket and staring up at the surprisingly daunting front door. He suddenly wasn't sure he was ready for this new life, for moving on and picking up the pieces of his past that didn't really exist any longer.

It still felt like only months ago - and in his mind it was - when he had a good blooming career - even if it was with his dad who he didn't have the best relationship with - and a boyfriend he was in love with - who wasn't ready to come out for him but, still. Okay. So. Shit.

"Who's winning?" Jared asked quietly and Jensen looked up, not sure how long he'd been standing there and simply staring. The man smiled softly and leaned against the door frame to watch Jensen. "You or the door? Looks like some type of epic stare down."

A faint smile twitched across Jensen's lips and he sighed and looked down at the smooth cane grasped beneath his fingers. "I just realized that I'm terrified about trying to start my life over. Which subsequently caused me to realize that my life before the coma really wasn't that great; I had good moments, sure, but mostly I don't really think I was very happy."

Silence lingered between them for a few minutes and Jensen risked a glance up when it stretched out for too long. Jared was smiling sadly at him, understanding in a way Jensen didn't expect, and everything got all warm again. Oh god, this was already turning into too much.

"I'm sorry, does this amuse you?" Jensen snapped, pretending for whatever the reason that he didn't read all the emotions beneath Jared's smile. It was easier than admitting Jared already somehow got him on a deeper level.

The smile on Jared's lips faded almost completely and he pushed away from the door frame. "No. Sorry. I just... I understand. Or well, I sort of understand, as much as I can. Not that I've ever been in a six year coma."

"No. You haven't." Jensen stared at Jared a moment later before stepping toward the door and slipping his key into the lock. No point in delaying the inevitable, they had to go inside eventually, and the longer he stood out here on the front step with Jared the more likely he was to burst into tears or something else ridiculous.

All the lights were off but enough sunlight was beaming through the windows that Jensen could see the rise and swirl of dust. The air smelled old, stale, and Jensen wasn't sure he could actually get himself to cross the threshold. His hand lifted to rest on the solid wood of the door frame and for a moment Jensen swore he saw his mother laughing as she bent over and chased him as a playful three year old through the foyer.

"Wow, this place is gorgeous," Jared breathed and slipped past Jensen, heading into the spacious front room, the slap of his shoes sounding incredibly loud on the nicely polished hard wood floor. "Needs a couple of old shirts and a bottle Pledge, possibly a shop vac, but that's what I'm here for."

"I didn't realize you're a maid as well," Jensen muttered then bit his tongue, instantly wishing he could take the words back. Why did he have to sound like such an asshole all the time? Maybe he'd just been spending too much time with Chad.

Thankfully Jared seemed capable of handling the blows. He gave Jensen a grin and set the bag down at the foot of the stairs, clasping his hands together and rubbing them like he couldn't wait to clean absolutely everything. "Well, Jensen, it happens to be your lucky day. I'm your maid, cook, psychical therapist, and general eye candy for all your staring needs. Now, do you have a room here on the ground floor you can use? Or would you like to use the stairs for part of your exercise routine?"

Jensen was fairly certain he wasn't ready for someone like Jared Padalecki in his life. But there were probably a thousand and one things he wasn't ready for. "My room is upstairs, so, exercise routine it is."

When Jared grinned so bright it formed dimples in his cheeks, Jensen just barely swallowed a breathy god damn.

Part Two

Masterpost

Like My Own - Bobby POV

2012-09-09T01:24:01Z

Title: Like My Own
Author: anyothergirl415
Pairing: Bobby - Background Sam/Dean, Dean/Sam/Future!Dean
Words: ~1300
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 - language
Summary: When you love two boys like your own, you're willing to overlook some of the little things. Or big things. Or everything.
Notes: Written for angstpuppy for my timestamp meme! This is Bobby's POV in relation to the story Following My Footsteps Home.

"So y'all are gonna live here. Together. And you don't think you'll bite each others heads off?"

It was funny enough. These two bickered more than an old married couple. More than a dysfunctional Mama of six and her cheatin' boyfriend on a Springer show. How the hell they'd manage not to kill each other in such a small space, Bobby didn't know.

"Well, see, that's the other thing we wanted to talk to you about." Dean did that little shift fidget thing, just like his Daddy did whenever he had to fess up to choice he'd made that he knew Bobby wouldn't like.

Like whenever he dropped the boys off for another weekend that would surely turn into a week. Or two. Like when he went after that damn son-of-a-bitch demon that so clearly wanted more from him.

Bobby wasn't all that settled. "Mmhmm."

"We're obviously going to be around more. So we feel like you deserve to know the truth." Sam picked up the explanation and though he didn't fidget so much he ducked his head down, hair falling to cover his eyes.

God. Bobby wasn't some damn fool. He knew. He might be gettin' up there but he still had eyes and he wasn't all that closed off to the changing world around them. So when Dean reached out to take his brother's hand and they shared a soft smile, Bobby wasn't really all that surprised.

Maybe it was easier to accept it, to not freak the fuck out like he was sure he was entitled too, because they weren't technically his own. Though they might as well be. There were just some things Bobby knew one hundred percent for sure in the world and one of those was this: there was not a person more stubborn than a Winchester.

Bobby could freak out. Could condemn them and explain how wrong their relationship was. But they wouldn't listen - not when it made them look like that, so happy and more peaceful than Bobby could ever remember seeing - and then he'd likely lose them. Bobby didn't have much in the world, couldn't risk losing this.

"I don't need to know anymore." Bobby shook his head but he let his lips twitch up in just the hint of a smile.

Because, no matter how stubborn they were, they knew him too. And a beat later Sam was tugging him into a hug and Bobby knew he'd do damn near anything for his boys. Because they should have at least someone on their side.

-=-

Bobby didn't know what this was but it sure the hell wasn't normal.

"Hello?" Dean's groggy voice filled the line and Bobby had to blink a few times to make sure the man before him was still there.

God damn. This world was not big enough to be occupied by two Dean Winchesters.

"Bobby? That you?" Dean's phone staticky voice cracked over the line and in the background Sam was mumbling some question BObby couldn't make out.

"Dean, think you and Sam should come on over. Soon as you can." Bobby stepped back as the man - creature, whatever the hell he was - in the chair stirred. He turned and left the panic room before the thing could wake up. Let the boys deal with this one.

"Is everything okay?" Dean sounded a lot more awake now and so did Sam - judging from the rise of his distant voice.

"Well, I've got your clone tied to a chair in my panic room and I think I mighta given him a new beauty mark with a frying pan. Otherwise I'd say it's all fine." Sarcasm. Bobby liked sarcasm.

It was quiet for a few minutes and Bobby let Dean absorb the information. God. He was getting too damn old for this shit.

"We'll be right there."

-=-

"So you're sure this is the right choice?" Bobby stared down at his coffee because it was easier than meeting the two boy's steady gazes. They always considered him so intently, when they were trying to do that damn pretend-mind reading thing. Honestly, those damn Winchesters really better learn they couldn't.

"It's not like we can just up and abandon him. Who knows what kind of hell he's been through. He should be with family and we're the closest he's got." Dean was the one to use the rationale but Bobby was pretty sure Sam felt the same way. Those two - always seemed to be of the same mind.

"And what about..." Bobby finally lifted his head and gestured between them, not quite sure he could really put everything into words. He'd never really been able to speak about their relationship out loud. It worked best for them.

He watched as Sam and Dean looked toward each other, had one of their silent conversations, then looked away. Sam was to answer for them this time. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. But I have a feeling it's not going to be a big problem. He seems to have a lot of the same thought processes as Dean, they're basically the same person, just... different circumstances."

The stairs creaked - that one fifth from the bottom that Bobby had been meaning to fix for a while now - and Bobby clamped his mouth shut against any further protests. The boys were all grown up now, they had the right to make their own decisions. And Bobby would be there just in case.

-=-

Bobby wasn't the nervous type. No reason to be. He'd been through enough years, seen enough things, why bother worrying about something? But here he was, staring up a flight of stairs and considering all the reasons he shouldn't head up. Lord knows what he might be walking in to.

They were expecting him though - even if he was a few minutes early - so it shouldn't be too bad.

He tried to make some noise as he ascended the steps, let 'em know he was there without yelling out you boys better be clothed and not touching. No matter how many things Bobby had seen in his life, he knew he wouldn't ever be ready to walk in on that.

What he did walk in on was shocking in its own way. They were clothed, were hardly even touching, but there was still something off about the entire scene.

Sam moved between the stove and the counter, humming softly to the song on the radio, swaying his body from side to side. De - they'd told him he was going by De now which amused Bobby to no end - was chopping up vegetables, offering them out to Sam every time his brother stepped near. And Dean was setting the table, the hint of a smile playing across his lips in a way he didn't seem aware of.

It took Bobby a minute of silent watching to realize why it felt so strange. This was peace. It was a contentment and calm and love.

Bobby could have his doubts about them and how it might work but why bother? He knew those Winchesters were stubborn, that was accepted fact. But he also knew they could love stronger than anyone and he supposed in the long run, that was all that mattered.

A Dash of Control - Chad/Christian - NC-17

2012-09-08T04:26:32Z

Title: A Dash of Control
Author: anyothergirl415
Pairing: Christian/Chad
Words: ~1700
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - phone sex, dirty talk
Summary: They've had more than a couple conversations but this one is... different.
Notes: Written for kadams27 for my timestamp meme! This takes place after A Dash of Dirty but before A Dash of Physical.

"Good evening this is Chad, and who do I have the privilege of speaking with this fine night?"

A slow grin pulled Christian's lips up and he sank back onto the couch, spreading his legs to adjust to the heat already building up in him. It was like this every time, four calls in and Christian was officially gone. "Good evening Chad, it's Christian. How are you?"

There was just the briefest pause and Christian knew it was Chad taking his moment to accept that Christian was on the line once more. He wasn't entirely sure why he kept surprising Chad by continuing to call but it warmed something in him he couldn't name.

"Hello Christian, I'm marvelous. The night has suddenly gotten a little brighter. And how are you?" Chad was practically purring into the line and Christian could feel the answering burn of pleasure.

Yeah, god, the man certainly knew exactly how to get under his skin. "I'm just fantastic. Been looking forward to this."

A content sort of silence fell across the line and Christian wet his lips, palming loosely over his crotch to rub across the heat building there. He knew how this went before, how they'd fall into the usual low slur of dirty words, building up until Christian could hear the slick slide of skin. Listening to Chad finger himself was one of his favorite ways to fill the silence but this was... this time, Christian didn't know, he just maybe wanted things to go a little different.

"So what shall-"

"Shh, don't," Christian interrupted in a murmur, not ready for their usual pre-phone sex banter. After four phone calls Christian felt comfortable with Chad, falling easily into this zone, and taking control wasn't really that hard. "Are you naked?"

Chad seemed to sense the change and he hesitated for just a moment before breathing out his answer. "Yes. I am now."

Christian's lips twitched into a smile. Chad had mentioned before that he didn't get off while talking to everyone, that he faked it a lot, and for the most part Christian believed that. Mostly because he wanted too. "Good. Lay back on the bed and caress the inside of your thighs. Imagine it's my fingers ghosting over your skin, smoothing over every creamy inch. Imagine my lips mapping up from the knee, up until my nose brushed against your balls."

The words were deep and rumbling through Christian, barely more than a whisper into the line, so he could easily hear Chad's quick and shaky inhale. Christian exhaled his own shaky breath, tucking a thumb under his waistband to slip the button free. There was the vaguest imagine in his mind of Chad with his pale cheeks that would be flushed with heat and pleasure and Christian knew he couldn't possibly be close but he had to try.

"I will worship you with my lips and my tongue. Slowly slide your finger tips up the underside of your cock, along that vein, and know it's my tongue painting your skin. Know that I'm there with you now Chad, holding you down as you writhe, circling the tip of my tongue over the slit. You leaking for my Chad? Can I taste you on my tongue?"

"Fucking hell," Chad gasped out and Christian bit his lip around a moan. Hearing how turned on Chad was - god it was such a heady pleasure, maybe Christian feel a little drunk and a lot lust dizzy.

"Tell me. Wanna hear about the pre-come smearing on your fingers, want you to lick it off and tell me what you taste like." Christian pulled his zipper down and shoved his pants off. He wasn't going to make it to the bedroom tonight but that was fine, the couch would do.

There was an over exaggerated slurp across the line and Christian huffed a laugh, glad to know Chad could still so easily play it up. "Salty. Just a little sweet. Not so bad. Would I suck the taste off your tongue?"

The smirk on Christian's lips grew. He knew what Chad was trying to do, take the ball back into his court because this was his job and well, it was understandable. But Christian wasn't ready to go back to their usual thing. "No. Because just about now, when you're begging for me to kiss you, I'll flip you over and grip your ass. Now take your wet finger Chad, the one you just sucked, and rub your hole. Know it's my tongue, teasing you open, tracing your rim. Gonna keep begging for me?"

"God Christian," Chad groaned and Christian knew the man was doing exactly as he'd instructed.

"Just the tip forward now Chad, gonna take my time spreading you open now. Want to feel your muscles give around each inch. Because when I fuck you - and god I'm gonna fuck you so good Chad - I want to be able to thrust right in. I want you so open and stretched and ready for it that I fit like my cock was made to fill you up."

"Jesus. Fuck. I gotta- come on Christian. Need more." The way Chad was gasping and pleading made Christian tighten his grip around the base of his cock. He didn't have to question whether Chad was following the rules, taking it slow, for whatever the reason Christian knew that he would do as told.

"Pull your finger out and get the lube. I want to hear you slide two forward, want to hear how it drives you crazy, being stretched out so perfectly." Christian sank further back on the couch and stroked himself almost lazily, ears tuned to hear all the little sounds as they filled the line.

The bottle clicking open, the faint whisper of skin slicking, the steady rush whoosh of Chad sliding his fingers forward once more. Christian's grip stilled and he closed his eyes, picturing lust blown blue eyes, sweat damp spiky blonde hair, a face he couldn't quite imagine and a touch he couldn't quite fathom.

"I want you," Christian whispered and his hand resumed stroking his cock, his heart lurching at something unexpected. "Chad, I want you so much it's all I can think about. I want to pull you across the couch where I am now and slid you over my lap. I want to yank your fingers free and use the left over lube to slick up my cock. I want to shove you down hard and fuck the last of the tight away then swallow your scream."

"Christian," Chad half moaned, mostly whispered, and maybe there was some type of warning in the tone but it was impossible to ignore how his breath had picked up and hitched.

"Be with me Chad. Let me just grab your hips, leave imprint of fingers on your skin while I fuck you down onto my cock. I know you want me claiming you. I know you're just as desperate for it. I know you want to feel my fingers digging in your hair and holding you perfectly still so I hit that spot over and over and all you can do is beg for more because you're so close to the edge you can't even breathe."

Christian hadn't even realized the pace on his cock was picking up, beads of sweat were traveling down the back of his neck, and his throat felt raw from the deep gravel of his tone. And just when he knew he couldn't say any more, couldn't get his brain to work any longer, the best sound he'd ever heard filled the line.

"Christian," Chad's moan was full of that breathy plea and Christian didn't really have to know the man to know he'd hit his peak.

That was enough to tip Christian over the edge, his release that perfect pull push of muscles, the ultimate release that he'd been so desperate for the first time he'd called. Back when he had no idea what speaking to Chad would to do him. Back when he was stupid enough to think there was no way anyone would catch his interest long enough for seconds.

God, he still didn't even know Chad, not really, and this...

"I really want to meet you," Christian whispered the moment he caught his breath and the silence lingered. They spoken about it before - sometimes joking, sometimes deadly serious - but there hadn't been any follow through. And Christian understood, this was Chad's job and all, but still.

Silence stretched out like the awkward tension of a morning after a one night stand. Like Christian had just asked for Chad's number and Chad was trying to come up with a polite way of saying you know, this was fun, but I'm not really sure I'm ready for more.

"Never mind, forget it," Christian huffed out and straightened up. Four calls in, why was he still making an idiot of himself?

"Christian... you know it's not... you know I want too..." Chad fumbled over his rushed words and Christian could imagine the way he rubbed fingers uncertainly through his hair.

Only he couldn't. Because Christian couldn't imagine Chad at all. Not really. And that was kind of the problem. "Yeah I understand. It's complicated."

Christian didn't understand. Not completely. But he wasn't going to stop calling Chad. And he wasn't going to ask about meeting him again. And that was that.

"So, the control thing really does it for you huh?"

A smile filtered across Christian's lips and he told himself imagining through phone lines would be enough.

Follow up piece: A Dash of Physical

A Dazzling Devotion - Jared/Jensen - PG

2012-09-07T03:04:05Z

Title: A Dazzling Devotion
Author: anyothergirl415
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Words: ~1,800
Rating/Warnings: PG - a bunch of schmoop
Summary: After two years together, Jensen needs a change. It likely wasn't the change Jared expected.
Notes: Written for bugmcsnug and goldenboat for my timestamp meme. This is based off A Beautiful Beast and takes place roughly a year and a half from the end of the original.

There was nothing particularly special about two years. It wasn't like it was some monumental, life changing moment, just another day passing on the calendar. But it felt important. It felt world altering in a way one year hadn't been - even more than six months had been and back then Jensen was pretty sure Jared was going to leave him because their relationship just couldn't possibly be enough.

Two years. Twenty four months. They'd reached a level of comfortable and familiar and Jensen knew he wouldn't be able to survive their fall out. At some point he was sure he'd stopped waiting for the inevitable end but it seemed so... inevitable.

Jared was fairly busy with work and he was a natural with the children. They him run a the two-three year old classroom full time and even if the lesson planning wasn't as challenging as maybe higher grades, he seemed to take great joy in deciding what the little children would learn next. And Jensen loved seeing how satisfied Jared was by his work, he really did, but sometimes it just reminded Jensen how utterly unsatisfied he was by his own.

Part of Jensen had known he could change jobs, he didn't have to spend the rest of his life in a bookstore with co-workers he hated and a boss that was a giant perv, but he'd kind of felt condemned to that fate for years. It was hard to break free of that. When he'd told Jared about it, his boyfriend had done what he did best. He encouraged Jensen to take some time researching, figure out what he loved doing just as Jared had.

Jensen had thought, for a while, that he would never be lucky enough to find that passion. And then it hit him that he already knew.

All of that - being unsatisfied with work, being more and more nervous as their two year anniversary approached - had led to this moment here. They were meeting for a nice dinner, Jensen had told Jared he wanted to take him out, but this wasn't really a conversation for public. No matter how it played out.

Which was why he was carrying food from the kitchen to the table when Jared showed up, letting himself in like he always did. Jensen slowly sat the dish on the table and looked up, smiling at the line of paint smeared on Jared's clothing. Hazards of working with toddlers.

"Hey you. Thought we were going out?" Jared crossed to him, dipping in to brush their lips together in a soft kiss.

Jensen straightened up as Jared slid his backpack off and kicked out of his shoes, all these familiar little things that had become routine over the last two years of being together. Part of Jensen worried he'd get bored - or maybe Jared would - but the more time that passed the more his presence was simply soothing. Jensen smiled down at the table and shrugged. "Thought it'd be better to celebrate here. We need to talk about some things."

Out of the corner of his eye Jensen could see Jared pause, hesitating as he tried to figure out what it was Jensen wanted to speak to him about. For some reason, that little action alone brought a smile to Jensen's lips. It reminded him of how Jared once was, back when he had no home, no job, no money, just a really good conscious and a great spirit.

Jared was so many amazing things now, Jensen wasn't entirely sure he was worth sticking around for.

"I know I'm occasionally new to the romantic world but I'm pretty sure those aren't very good words." Jared laughed uncertainly and stepped forward, sliding his fingers back through his hair then picking at the paint on his shirt. "Have I done something?"

"Jared, you're amazing. Stop worrying. Come sit down and let's eat." Jensen smiled up at his boyfriend and pulled his chair back. He was working at not being nervous, mainly to keep Jared from freaking out anymore than he already was.

They'd come so far - Jensen had come so far - and it seemed like something had to change now before they got stuck. Or before Jared got tired of him. Jensen knew what he was like before, he couldn't go back to that.

"You're not going to break up with me, right?" Jared asked quietly, poking his fork into the potatoes Jensen made though Jensen knew for a fact they were the man's favorite.

Jensen was really shit at this whole thing. He'd always been, from way back in the beginning when they had just barely begun their relationship and basically accused him of cheating. But he was always trying to get better, so it was surprisingly easy to smile and shake his head.

Before Jared could ask Jensen stood and crossed the room, grabbing a stack of papers and carrying them over to the table. "You know, before I met you... well, you've heard that story. Hell, you were part of that story. You know how closed off I was, how I'd just kind of given up on everything. But for some reason you stuck around-"

"I love you," Jared interrupted, reaching out to take Jensen's hand and glancing curiously down at the papers.

Jensen laughed softly and shifted closer. He'd really thought they'd make it through dinner first but maybe part of him was too excited to wait. Jensen had never gotten over feeling excited about something, it still surprised him. "I love you too. And I want to start my own shop. I've done some researching and I have a fund my parents left to me after they passed. I never even knew it existed. I figure, I know a lot about books, I like books, I could sell books without having Peter there leering at me every step of the way."

That was only part of it really, a small part in comparison, but it was the easier thing to say. And Jared lit up at the words, his smile growing wide as he reached out for Jensen's hand once more. "God Jen, that's a fantastic idea. You'd be a great book shop owner. Is that what all those papers are? Have you picked out a place?"

Swallowing thickly, Jensen looked down at the papers and shook his head slowly then nodded. "It's kind of the place. It's... okay so it's a big building right? And there's a store on the first floor then the upper level is kind of converted into a loft type thing. I was thinking - I just figured... we've been together two years you know? And I know we can't legally get married and I don't even know if you want that but I think we should take some kind of next step."

Jensen was a little out of breath as he finished, his heart racing and his palms sweating. It hadn't really occurred to him that he hadn't even officially asked a question yet.

"You want us to move in together?" Thankfully, Jared was smart enough to put it together.

Gaze snapping up, Jensen stared at his boyfriend for a long while, trying to determine if that was something Jared might actually want. He hadn't approached the topic of living together since the very beginning when Jared had insisted how important it was that he made his own way in the world first. But two years was long enough for that right?

"Yes," he finally whispered and dropped his gaze down, shifting forward a little closer and pulling the papers out. He slid them across to Jared and wet his lips, hoping the impossibly loud race of his heart wasn't as audible as he felt it had to be. "See, it's a huge space, we'd have lots of room. And there's two bedrooms. I thought we could make one an office. Or you know, it could be your bedroom if you'd rather. I mean, whatever you want. I just thought-"

"Jen, you're gonna have to breathe at some point you know," Jared interrupted and Jensen watched the fond smile on his lips slowly grow. "My own bedroom huh?"

Jensen's shoulders slumped and he bit his lip, nodding slowly and searching through the papers, offering up another picture. "Yeah see, the room is big. Lots of space."

"Sometimes, you can be so silly." Jared laughed and slid out of his chair in the next moment, pushing Jensen back and sliding in between his legs. "Don't you know that there is nothing that sounds better than being with you all the time? God, just to fall asleep in your arms every night, to see your gorgeous face every morning I wake, sounds like the best thing imaginable."

A slow smile stretched across Jensen's lips and he practically fell forward, throwing his arms around Jared's shoulders and hugging him tight. "I was kind of terrified you'd say no."

"See? So silly." Jared laughed even louder, sliding his fingers up into Jensen's hair and tugging him in for a deep kiss.

Jensen felt every part of him light up from the inside and that fear that things would change, that he might not be enough in the future, was gone. Because Jared wanted him, would always want him, and they could be together forever.

"Now, can we eat some of this delicious dinner you've obviously been slaving over?" Jared pulled back, grinning up at Jensen and letting their noses brush together.

"Absolutely yes." Jensen grinned and slid back up onto his chair. He couldn't shake the goofy smile from his face as he tucked into his meat.

Their knees bumped under the table and the smile on Jared's face matched his own. Jensen felt that spark and thrill of hope that only Jared had been able to stir up in him. He thought maybe one day they would go somewhere they could marry, maybe they'd even adopt. Whatever it was, they'd be together, and it was a future Jensen was actually eager for.

In All the Little Moments - Sam/Dean - NC-17

2012-09-06T00:09:10Z

Title: In All the Little Moments
Author: anyothergirl415
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Words: ~1,600
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 - set season five, face fucking, semi-public sex
Summary: Sam never knew what he wanted, not really. But apparently Dean did.
Notes: Written for verucasalt123 for my timestamp meme! This is a follow up to In Between What Makes Us We.

Things got fucked up like they could. Always did, always would.

Sam blamed Dean - outwardly - ranting about his inability to keep anything clean and his penchant for leering at pretty girls a little too long anywhere they went. Sam blamed himself - inwardly - with angst ridden self-diatribes condemning his soul to the darkest pits where people burned for being dirty and fucked up.

Dean put up with it all - with his fair share of bitching and complaining and smacking the back of Sam's skull - because there was some part of him genetically attuned to handle Sam's shit. Or so Sam suspected, there was no official way to prove something like that. Except maybe knowing the way Dean could get under his skin at any given moment.

Point was, things got fucked up, and Sam wasn't really stable in the best of times.

Right now, watching Dean across the bar flirting his way through another beer, angling his body with just enough suggestion to the waitress, was driving Sam just a little crazy. He tried to tell himself it didn't matter, they didn't matter, they could be brothers and no longer lovers, but the sharp flare of jealousy was beginning to suggest otherwise.

And he wanted to hate himself for thinking this way, for wanting to possess and claim and storm over there to demand all over Dean's attention. He wanted to hate that he couldn't even find enough confidence in himself to believe he was worth having all of that attention, even when it was given to him.

Some part of him expected Dean to start picking up the random girls again. After all, didn't Sam betray him, in his own way, not so long ago? And weren't they still building up that trust, still learning to forgive and let go and move on? Didn't Dean have the right to stab him in the heart just one more time so they were even now?

"Everything okay?" The girl was probably just being polite, probably saw the angry red flush on Sam's cheeks and thought checking in was the right thing to do, probably had no intention of suggesting anything at all.

But the waitress across the bar was flicking the hair back over her shoulder and sticking her chest out a little too far and Sam could tell Dean was doing that retarded leer so. This was an opportunity and well, things were fucked up anyway, why not?

"Yeah, just a bad day." Sam smiled down at the girl and did his own suggestive angling, reaching out to trail fingers down the smooth skin of her thin arms.

There was a distinct lack of bulk, no muscles forming tanned flesh, and Sam knew he'd only be able to take this ruse so far. Which was apparently fine, she seemed to latch onto the little bit of interest he mustered up, stepping into him with bright eyes. "You wanna talk? I've got some time."

"Nah, just work shit. I've got a partner - co-worker who's a bit of a..." Sam glanced up in time to watch Dean brush his fingers through the waitress hair. "Dick. He's a big dick."

"I totally understand. We all have to deal with the dicks." She laughed and swayed just a little forward, hip touching his leg, hand settling on his thigh. "So what's your name?"

"Sam," he answered easily and risked another glance up. Dean was starting to turn their way and Sam reached out, dropping his hand on the girl's shoulder and sliding up to her neck. "And yours?"

"Libby. Do you live around here?" The girl was drinking up the attention, batting her lashes and throwing her chest out and giving off all those signs that she'd gladly spread them the moment he asked.

Sam was prepared to answer, was maybe even prepared to take this girl home and pretend she could be anywhere as good as Dean beneath him. But then a strong grip was curled over his collar and tugging back and Sam was falling off his stool and into Dean's body. It annoyed him, sending a burst of self righteous anger through him, and Sam pushed away.

"Let go of me!" Sam hollered and shoved at his brother even if he wanted him close, closer, pressed up against him and kissing him until he couldn't even breathe.

"Excuse me while I borrow my idiot brother." Dean gave the girl one of his could get away with murder smiles and tugged Sam just the wrong side of too rough the bar and out back.

"Dick," Sam grunted as he was shoved into the alley. Then smirked even if it wasn't that funny.

Dean certainly didn't look impressed. "What the fuck is it Sam?"

"What? I can't flirt with pretty girls? Double standard much?" Sam rolled his eyes and dug his hands through his hair. The irritation was growing and reaching lethal levels.

"Don't treat me like a fucking retard Sam," Dean spat and it really wasn't the time to snort, judging from the glare he received in return. "Spill."

"I don't think I can do this anymore," Sam's whisper was strangled and he meant so much more than bickering behind some damn bar. How did he just become okay with condemning his soul? With fucking his damn brother like no one would ever know. They both were smarter than that.

And still he found himself waiting for Dean's reassurance. Every time reality gripped him hard like this Dean was always the one to tell him why it was okay. They loved more than two people ever could. They held each other's lives in their hands daily. They needed each other.

"Fine."

Sam blinked and looked quickly back up, his eyes wide. "What?" This wasn't how it was meant to go.

"What do you expect Sam? This isn't some romcom and I'm not John Cusack. You don't want to fuck anymore than fine. I'm tired of trying to show you how much I want it." Dean shrugged and turned around, heading out of the alley.

Sam stared and watched Dean's retreating form in shock for a long few minutes before hurrying after. His heart was racing and his gut was churning and he sent Dean hurtling back into the cool brick wall before they exited the alley. Sam panted heavily and stared down at Dean with wide eyes, struggling against the onslaught of too many haywire emotions.

"The girls," he managed to gasp out like the explanation would somehow make things better. Be with Dean but never touch? Never kiss? Never feel?

"What can I say? You're hot when you get all possessive and jealous." Dean smirked and spread his legs, thrust his hips up suggestively.

For whatever the reason that look made everything in Sam break. Never be with Dean again? Impossible.

In a flash Sam spun them once more, dragging Dean in for a kiss that was full of teeth and tongue. He leaned hard back against the wall and pushed at Dean's shoulders, sending the man falling to his knees with a hiss. "I'll show you possessive. Open your mouth."

Dean stared up at him with dark eyes and let his full lips part. Sam wasted no time in working the fastens on his jeans, shoving the material down and pulling his cock free of the cotton. His fingers thread through the soft silk of Dean's hair and he drug him forward, thrusting forward in one deep motion.

The tight wet heat of Dean's mouth surrounded Sam and he moaned, head falling back to hit the brick, cock pulling free. Sam enjoyed sucking his brother's cock just as much as Dean did but it was never quite like this before. He fucked into Dean's mouth with all the possessive desperate need he'd always known was simmering in the pit of his stomach.

Dean had a strong grip on his hips but he didn't try to stop Sam, simply stretched his jaw wider and drank him down. Sam pumped forward faster and faster, release teetering there on the edge of his control.

When Sam came his knees weakened and he moaned too loud. The noise echoed around the alley and Sam remembered for the first time how close they were to people.

"Damn dude. Fuck me like that more often why don't you?" Dean's voice was just -fucked ragged as he pushed up to stand, brushing the dirt from his knees.

Sam tucked himself back into his jeans and glanced furtively at the parking lot. "Come on, let's get out of here before someone sees."

"Oh now you're modest." Dean laughed and slung his arm over Sam's shoulder, tugging him toward the impala across the lot. "God Sammy, your brain must be a terrifying place."

Sam sank into Dean's side and shrugged casually like it was no big deal. No matter how right his brother was.

To Touch - Christian/Chad - PG

2012-09-04T01:01:01Z

Title: To Touch
Author: anyothergirl415
Pairing: Christian/Chad, background Jared/Jensen
Words: ~1300
Rating/Warnings: PG - AU, religious themes, a whole lotta schmoop
Summary: Christian will never grow tired of watching his angel learn.
Notes: Written for favoritedarknes for my timestamp meme. This is the continuation of Angel!Chad verse. Beta'd just by me!

Fingers trailed slowly down his chest, smoothing over creamy skin, and Christian's breath hitched as he sucked in a deep lungful of air. Chad's fingers were soft, like silk caressing smoothly over him, and it was perfect. Which wasn't much of a surprise, mostly everything Chad did was perfect.

"I can feel your heart racing," Chad whispered in his usual innocent awe, pressing his fingers firmly down on Christian's chest over his heart as if he could touch.

Christian slid his tongue over his suddenly too dry lips and tilted his head down to peer into the bright blue gaze fixed up on him. "You always make my heart race."

"Your skin feels like clouds. But more. Why can't I name it?" Chad crawled his fingers up, up, up, until he could trace the bumps and ridges of Christian's collar bone.

Moaning softly, Christian tilted his head down to try and get those fingers to slide over his jaw. There was no denying just how addicted to Chad's touch he was. "I don't think there are enough words that describe pleasure."

"I want to learn all of them," Chad murmured and inched closer, pushing up until his lips could slide over Christian's in a gentle, perfect kiss. "I want to learn everything."

Christian smiled and wrapped his arm around Chad, tugging him closer, completely ready to teach.

-=-

"So, have you considered how we're going to afford housing an angel long term?"

Christian's smile didn't waver but then, it usually never did when his gaze was locked on Chad. Especially Chad out and about at the park, bouncing around the grass like an excited puppy eager to play. Jensen's question sparked just the slightest nag of annoyance in him but all in all, Christian wasn't too concerned.

"Christian? We can't afford to provide for him forever. You can't afford to." Jensen sighed and bumped a fist just a little too hard into Christian's arm. "Are you listening to me?"

"I'll handle it Jensen. It's not like a whole lot of companies are interested in hiring a fallen angel who doesn't even an idenity." Christian glanced over at his friend and shrugged, turning back when Chad called out his name.

In the next beat the man was bouncing over to them, stopping short of colliding into them and beaming brightly. "Did you see the butterfly? I wanted it to land on me but I guess I moved too much."

Christian laughed softly and held his hand out for Chad, eager to have the once-angel pressed up against his side. The smile on Chad's face grew and he dropped his gaze down to the place their fingers connected. He stared like he did so often, mesmerized by the slide of the skin together.

"In the sunshine, your skin feels like grass. Warm and soft and silky," Chad murmured and stepped closer, pressing a kiss to Christian's jaw.

Beside them Jensen huffed a laugh but Christian ignored him, tugging the blonde closer and turning in to brush their lips together.

-=-

"So. You weren't really an angel right?" Jared shifted forward and Christian frowned. He must have seen the look because he continued quickly. "I mean, it's just- angels aren't real."

"Who says?" Chad asked with a curious tilt of his head. He didn't seem bothered by Jared's question and his fingers continued to dance along the inside of Christian's wrist.

Jared twirled the fork in his fingers, glancing over at Jensen who simply shrugged then looking back their way. "Um... science? Logic? I mean, if angels do exist, where do they live? How have they managed to stay hidden for so long?"

"Well it helps they can fly," Christian muttered dryly, shifting his free arm over the back of Chad's chair and inching just a little closer. The fingers on his wrist continued to dance over his skin, stroking along the pulse point, and he barely suppressed a shiver of sensation.

"Angels live on a spiritual plane. They do not need to walk and travel amongst mortals. They simply are, then they are not, they were there in the beginning and will be there in the end. Whether humans believe in them or not. They come to the aide of those who need them most, those who deserve a chance to continue love and those who still have important paths to take. It will never matter if you believe, Jared, because they will still watch you and embrace you and care for you, and that is unwavering." Chad's words were stronger and more powerful than Christian had heard. It was none of that innocent curiosity he'd held for weeks, just a knowledge that he was absolutely certain in.

Christian knew his eyes were a little wide as the man finished speaking and when he turned back Jared and Jensen both had slacked jaws.

"Well," Christian cleared his throat and slowly grinned, settling against Chad's side. "Does that clear up any questions?"

"Um, yeah, I guess so." Jared nodded and bit at his lip, shuffling a little uncertainly in his chair.

Jensen looked between the three of them slowly before coughing and reaching out for his wine. "Do I even want to know what other things are real? E.T.'s not gonna be knocking on our door to phone home any time soon right?"

Christian and Jared laughed but it was more the puzzled look on Chad's face that made the entire thing so amusing. He loved that little innocent look.

"Who is E.T.?" Chad asked after a few moments and Christian's laughter grew.

-=-

The foggy black of sleep was lingering on Christian's senses but still he could feel the gentle touch of fingers sliding over his back. Before he'd even managed to open his eyes a smile grew on his lips and he shifted on the mattress, feeling the rustle of the blanket that had been pushed down below his hips over the curve of his ass.

"You make the most beautiful, breathy little noises when you sleep," Chad murmured, the words a steady exhale of warm air over Christian's shoulder.

Christian hummed softly and turned his face into the pillow, stretching to shake the sleep from his muscles. "You do sleep, right?"

The soft rumble of Chad's laughter echoed around them and Christian's smile grew, his arm sliding over the man's thin waist and drawing him in close. "I sleep. I simply enjoy watching you sleep more. You are beautiful. Like the Heavens."

"Was I worth it?" Christian asked in a whisper, lifting his hand to brush his fingers through the silky blond locks.

"Falling?" Chad breathed and arched forward, sucking in a slow breath as their hips rolled together. "Absolutely. I will never want anything more, as long as I'm with you. And this, our bodies touching, our lips brushing, how could I ever doubt that?"

Christian's heart swelled in a way he hadn't anticipated and he pushed forward, crushing their lips together because there would never be anything better.

Jealous Things - Jared/Jensen

2012-09-03T04:56:22Z

Title: Jealous Things
Author: anyothergirl415
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Words: ~1900
Rating/Warnings: PG - blind!Jensen, jealousy
Summary: Out of the two of them, Jensen thought he had every right to be insecure, not Jared. Which didn't explain this sudden... thing.
Notes: Written for usaexpat101 and gingersnap1224 for my timestamp meme. They both requested a piece from If I Wanted Silence, this fic comes near two years after the end of the story.

Ironically, this entire thing was all Jared's idea in the first place. Jensen was just fine with the friends he had - Chris and Steve, Danneel, even Chad though the man tended to annoy him more often than not. And of course there was Sulu who was as crazy and hyperactive at two as he'd been as a puppy. Then there was Jared, who was the ultimate best friend and lover all in one so why would Jensen need anyone more?

"Think how nice it would be, to have someone who's gone through what you've gone through, someone you can relate to."

Jared had insisted and pestered and prodded and finally Jensen had caved. He didn't think it would make a difference either way, having connections with people who also couldn't see, but he liked making Jared happy.

And as it turned out, the group wasn't too bad.

At first it was strange, sitting in a room with people he couldn't even see and couldn't see him in return - he'd almost broken down and left before the meeting had started because it made him feel so unsure and uneasy like before Jared had come into his life. But Jared had been there, that first meeting, and had sensed the fear rising up in him. He'd squeezed Jensen's hand and shifted closer and that fear had faded away.

After that Jensen hadn't had struggled so much returning. And then he got comfortable, opened up and started talking to people. It turned out Jared was right. Hearing others talk about their life and the things they'd struggled with, the same things that had held him down for so long, was relieving. Jensen found himself making new friends, something he hadn't thought he would ever do again after he'd lost his sight.

Which was what ultimately led to the problem. Not that Jensen could have known what was coming.

"Good sharing tonight Jen." A warm hand came to rest on Jensen's forearm, squeezing softly, and Jensen smiled. "I'm glad to hear Sulu has improved as a guide dog."

Jensen liked Sean. The man was newer to the group too, he'd started the week after Jensen, and they'd connected instantly because of that. Last week Sean had kept Jensen entertained for a full hour while he waited for Jared to finish his shift and swing by to pick him up. As far as Jensen was concerned, Sean was the one friendship he could see actually extending out beyond the meeting. If it wasn't for that one little thing...

"He really has. No more running away on the beach which is really fantastic because sometimes my strolls get a little out of hand." Jensen laughed and bumped his shoulder into Sean's, tilting his head toward the squeaking front door.

"I'm still so envious of that, leaving by the beach. Falling asleep to the sound of the ocean. Must be nice. I'd love to savoring that each night with you." There was something different to Sean's tone, deep and intimate in a way that made Jensen's shoulders stiffen.

It was Jared's voice nagging in his head from the week before and it was ridiculous. He couldn't picture Jared's expression but he imagined it had been that pinched irritation he got when trying to hide his annoyance. I think that Sean guy is a little too friendly. Did you see how close he was sitting to you?

Jensen had scoffed at that, dismissing the words because hello, they were both blind, of course they were sitting close together. Not they could see each other to know what distance would even be appropriate. They were just friends and it was stupid and petty of Jared to be jealous of something like that.

But of course Jared's words had wormed into his brain and Jensen couldn't help step back just in case his lover was there watching them.

"Well I end up falling asleep listening to Jared breathe more often than not." Jensen tried to sound as casual and calm as he could because he knew he was overreacting and that was just ridiculous.

The door squeaked open again and their group leader Mitch called out a goodbye to them, leaving the meeting hall in silence with his departure. Sean's fingers curled over his shoulder a moment later. "Guess we're all alone now."

"Jared should be here soon. He got off work a few minutes ago." Jensen couldn't explain the way his chest suddenly felt a little tighter.

When it came down to it, Jensen really didn't think Sean would do anything. For all he knew, Sean wasn't even into guys. But it suddenly occurred to him how helpless he would be, if Sean tried to do something to him, tried to push away. Jensen could try to fight but it wasn't like he could see what was around him and Sean had been blind since childhood, his other senses were so much stronger.

"Jen? Are you okay?" Sean's hand slid up, curling over the back of Jensen's neck and squeezing softly. "You feel so tense. Here, come sit down, I'll rub your shoulders."

"No I-" Jensen gasped and jerked free from Sean's touch, stumbling back swiftly. Sean called out his name again but Jensen was too busy bumping into the table he hadn't known was that close.

"Jensen, god, what is the matter?" Sean's hand slid over his arm then down his side, grasping his hip and struggling to stabilize him.

The touch just beneath his hem line was probably Jensen's undoing. This was all Jared's damn fault, insisting he go to the meeting to make friends just like him, then not-so-casually pointing out that one of those said friends was getting a little too close. It made Jensen's mind reel in all the worst ways and he shoved hard away.

Jensen crashed hard into the cheap table and fell, knocking the plastic down and tumbling after it. He groaned as something hard dug into his thigh and his head knocked back into the cement floor. Judging from the echoing clatter in the room, Sean bumped into something as well but Jensen was too busy scrambling to get himself up right.

"Jensen?" Jared's call came from across the room and Jensen groaned once more because, it would just fucking figure. "God, what's going on? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just help me up," Jensen grumbled, ducking his head down as if they could hide the flush of embarrassment from his lover.

"Sean?" Jared was there in the next moment, looping an arm around Jensen and pulling him easily up to his feet like he didn't weigh a thing.

"Man I don't know. One minute we were talking and the next he just completely freaked out."

"You were touching me!" Jensen protested before he could think better of it, scrunching his face up and shaking his head a beat later. "Never mind, forget it. Let's just go."

"I was just being nice," Sean said quietly and Jensen felt the first big swell of guilt curl up through him.

"It's okay Sean. Don't worry about it. Do you have a way to get home?" Jared was being as gentlemanly and wonderful as always which really fucking figured considering it was his fault this happened in the first place.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm sorry Jen, I didn't mean to freak you out. I guess I'll just, talk to you next week."

Jensen couldn't get himself to apologize like he should. He said a soft goodbye and allowed Jared to guide him from the room, more than a little relieved when the door squeaked closed behind him. Jared led him silently to the car, opening the passenger door and helping Jensen in before closing it securely.

Jensen listened to the driver's side open and close, the car start up, the gentle hum of the radio as they started off down the street. The embarrassment had started to fade as the familiar quiet lingered between them and - for just a minute - Jensen thought he was going to get out of this without questions.

But really he should have known better.

"So... he was touching you?"

"He offered a massage," Jensen huffed and slid his arms over his chest. "And it's all your damn fault! If you hadn't put those damn thoughts into my mind I wouldn't have even thought anything bad was going to happen. You wanted me to go to these stupid support meetings and make blind friends and all I could think was how utterly helpless I would be if Sean tried to do anything because I can't fucking see."

"Whoa, whoa, Jensen. Wait. Helpless? You're not..." Jared sighed heavy enough to fill the car and Jensen frowned as he felt the vehicle stop. A beat later Jared's hands were on his face, tracing a familiar caress over his jaw. "You don't really think of yourself that way do you? Not after all this time."

"It never changes Jared. It's not like I'm getting any less blind." Jensen sighed, the anger and fear seeping from him as he soaked in Jared's familiar comfort. "I just thoguht how I didn't know what you saw last week and what if you were right? What if Sean was giving off vibes I couldn't see and you could?"

Jared laughed softly, surprising Jensen, brushing their lips together softly a moment later. "Jen... I don't know what kind of vibes Sean was giving off. He probably wasn't giving off any. I was just... god, I was jealous Jensen."

That thought hadn't really occurred to Jensen. Sure he thought the man was being petty but not because he was jealous. "You were? Why?"

"God, it still kills me. How you don't even realize how amazing you are. You are the absolute best catch, Jen, and the idea that someone could take you away from me... it kills me." Jared brushed their lips together once more and combed his fingers through Jensen's hair. "But that's my own stupid issue. Don't let that ruin your friendship. And god, you are so not helpless. You're still and always will be the strongest person I know."

Jensen fell into Jared's warmth, letting their foreheads rest together. Next week he'd have to apologize to Sean - hopefully without making it clear what an idiot he could be. For now though, he was more than ready to let Jared make him feel completely better.

"I hope you realize I'm going to tease you mercilessly about being jealous later on," Jensen whispered as his hand slid down Jared's chest.

The man answered with a warm, deep laugh. "I'd expect nothing less."

Never Leave Your Side - Christian/Chad - PG-13

2012-09-02T04:22:34Z

Title: Never Leave Your Side
Author: anyothergirl415
Pairing: Christian/Chad
Words: ~1600
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 - not much but extreme schmoop
Summary: The stuff first dates are made of.
Notes: Written for onehotmama199 for my timestamp meme. Takes place shortly after the last part of Loveland High and won't make much sense if you haven't read the verse! Beta'd only by me

"What do you think it means, going out somewhere? Like to the grocery store? Which we've done dozens of times. Or like... to something more. Because this could be an official date, more official than anything we've done before. Like out in the public, where people will see us, where it'll be obvious that we're a couple. That's a big deal. That's fucking bigger than big."

Chad spun from the clothes he'd spread out all over the bed, raising his brows when his gaze landed on Jared. The way the boy's lips were pursed and his face pinched together as he struggled against hiding his amusement was enough to cause irritation to roll through him.

"You're a dick. Do I make fun of you when you go off on whatever gay tangent about the damn love of your life." Chad groaned and spun away from Jared, snatching up pieces of clothing and tossing them back to the closet.

Christian would probably bitch about the mess later. After they went out. Just thinking about it sparked up the bite of panic again, the whole reason he was here listening to Jared at him in the first place. This had such a possibility of becoming a fucking disaster. So far they'd managed to make it work, their relationship hidden safely behind closed doors, but out in public it would be completely different.

"What if I screw everything up?" Chad whispered and it was finally enough to bring Jared's laughter to an abrupt halt. Good to know his supposed best friend could take him seriously when it really counted.

"You're not gonna screw it up Chad, come on. Christian totally loves you, he's not looking for you to be a certain way or do a certain thing while out on your very first big boy date." Jared smirked and pushed out of his chair, pulling at the clothing on the mattress. "Why don't you have anything nice? Like a short sleeve button down made out of silk or something?"

"Because I lived with an abusive dick for most of my life and my mom never gave a big enough damn to buy me nice things?" Chad suggested flatly, barely swallowing a wince when Jared's gaze snapped up to him.

"Dude."

"Yeah I know. Sorry. Uncalled for. I'm just... really fucking nervous. Don't do so well when I'm all shook up." Chad gave the boy a weak smile, not all that surprised when Jared's face relaxed into an understanding smile.

He'd never know why but Jared always put up with his shit, probably always would. Chad would never be able to say how grateful he was for that.

"Wanna borrow one of my shirts? Or Jensen's? I mean, you don't want to wear anything too super dressy do you?"

"What? And risk catching all that gay? No fucking way." Chad laughed and bumped into Jared's side, his own way of saying thanks.

-=-

It was strange being alone in the house and knowing Christian was coming to pick him up for an official date. He had no idea where the man was or what he had planned or if he even looked good enough. Chad was a high school graduate now, no longer Christian's student, and their relationship deserved to be official. He just wasn't all that certain he could take the step.

"Ickis, I think I'm losing it." Chad grumbled and reached out to ruffle the dog's fur, taking comfort in the animal like he had from the day they'd met. Ickis always seemed to know him well, snuggling up against his side when he needed the comfort and didn't know how to ask for it. "Of course, assuming I haven't already lost it."

The doorbell rang in the next moment, causing Ickis to perk up and Chad to stiffen. Who the hell would be visiting them?

It wasn't like Chad's friends actually bothered with anything more than knocking before letting themselves in. And all of Christian's friends lived over an hour away so they never showed up without a call first.

The doorbell rang again and Ickis began parking, bouncing around in front of the doorway, yapping at thin air with all the excitement of an eager little puppy.

"Okay okay, I'm coming!" Chad hollered and pushed Ickis further back, reaching out to flick the lock and tug the door open.

Ickis stopped barking when the door opened, mostly because Christian was standing there. His smile was warm, his hair perfectly slicked back, and his fingers were curled around a bundle of orchids. Chad's brows lifted impossibly high as his lips parted and a rush of heat shot up to his cheeks.

This was just... really fucking unexpected.

"You rang the bell," Chad said after a too long stretch of silence.

A slow grin pulled at Christian's lips as he nodded and stepped forward, offering up the orchids. "Wouldn't be a proper gentleman if I just let myself in."

"But this is your house," Chad mumbled and well, that was a big fucking duh. Just sometimes, Christian made him feel stupid. Not in a I'm your teacher and therefore obviously smarter way but more in a look how gorgeous I am, don't I just make it hard for you to even remember how to breathe? Sometimes, Christian really did.

"But then I wouldn't get to see you opening the door looking so drop dead gorgeous." Christian grinned and shook the orchids gently from side to side. "This is where you take the flowers and invite me in."

"To your own home?" Chad kept getting caught up on the technicalities which was ridiculous. So he quickly reached out and grasped the flowers, tugging them close and stepping back to make room for Christian. "Please, come on in."

"Oh good, you're humoring me." Christian grinned and stepped in, pressing too close in Chad's space and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "A little birdie may have mentioned that you're nervous."

"Jared is a fucking liar and I shall never speak to him again." A blush crawled up Chad's cheeks and he ducked his head to hide his blush, using the time to sniff at the flowers.

The way Christian laughed filled him with warmth from head to toe and Chad decided he could handle being teased about his unnecessary nerves as long as he could hear that laugh. Christian's fingers rubbed smoothly over the small of his back through the soft silk of his shirt.

"Wanna put those in some water before we leave?"

Chad's grin grew and he nodded before leading the way down the hall.

-=-

The restaurant was... nice. Quaint. Quiet. And a full thirty minutes from their home. Of course there was a pretty good chance that had a lot to do with the lack of fine dining available in Loveland, Fort Collins was such a nicer place for dates, but Chad couldn't help but be curious. His gaze scanned steadily around the restaurant, taking in the couples talking quietly over dim candlelight.

"You don't like it."

Chad looked up swiftly, his gaze narrowing slightly on his boyfriend. "Why would you say that?"

"You're fidgeting. And picking at things. I know you, Chad." Christian shrugged and smiled down at the table top.

Reaching out hesitantly, Chad laid his hand over Christian's and squeezed, smiling when Christian looked back up. "I've just spent this whole day freaking out, wondering what this was whole evening was about. But, really, it doesn't matter. I mean, it does. It's great and you're great and this place is... great."

Christian laughed and brought his other hand up, cupping Chad's beneath his palms. "So it's all great. I just wanted to take you somewhere nice, as a sort of official first date out in public. Now that we can be official and in public. I wanted you to see how much you meant to me."

And just like always, Christian's words soothed him nothing else ever would. All the nerves and tension Chad had been struggling against fell away and he shifted closer, suddenly eager to make it clear to everyone that they were together.

This was a new start for them and Chad was all too excited for their future.

"So... are you ready for this road trip? Jared assures me it's going to be epic." Chad slid his chair a little closer to Christian and his smile grew.

"Oh yeah. I'm pretty sure epic won't even begin to cover it."

Snapshots of Us (Winchester Notes Timestamp)

2012-08-30T02:32:44Z

Title: Snapshots of Us
Author anyothergirl415
Character(s)/Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: Hard R/NC-17 for lewd comments, suggestive drawings and generally foul language
Disclaimer: If I had my way, this would be the show. Very seldom do I have my way.
Summary: Sometimes talking through notes is easier than talking out loud.
Author’s Note: A Winchester Notes timestamp. Created for tebtosca and expectative! Enjoy my darlings!

~~~~~~

Master post

Quick note!

2012-08-29T03:26:51Z

I've decided to do the Timestamp meme people have been doing lately for my individually written fic!

Request a timestamp here

The master post of fic

♥

Secretly At Night - Jared/Jensen - NC-17

2012-08-23T21:21:57Z

Title: Secretly At Night
Author: anyothergirl415
Words: ~2,200
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 – HS AU, religious themes, rimming
Summary: Being with Jared went against all the things he knew, the world he was brought up in and the life his family expected him to live.

Notes: Written for salt_burn_porn where mistyzeo tagged me with into the woods. Thanks for mutedbyfear for the quick beta!

On AO3

The wind whistled as it blew through the leaves, branches swaying and casting shadows along the forest floor. Jensen bit his lip and tried not to shiver; wrapping his arms tighter around his chest and pressing back up against the tree trunk. It was that time of the month when the moon was mostly gone, just enough light to make the shadows look like creeping monsters crawling over twigs and stones.

Something echoed off in the distance, the crack of wood or crunch of leaves, and Jensen's head whipped in that direction. His breath picked up speed as his eyes strained through the darkness, fear crawling up his spine and making his skin grow cold.

"You're making up horror movies again aren't you?"

Jensen spun swiftly the other way toward the voice, eyes wide, heart racing hard in his chest. "God damnit Jared. You did that on purpose!"

A smirk played across Jared's lips as he all but swayed forward. Confident and cocky, as was the norm. "How many times have we been out here? Still creeps you the fuck out. It's hilarious."

Jensen hated being the brunt of jokes, it came from having an older brother he supposed, and his lips twisted into a scowl. "God I hate you. Why do I always let you talk me into meeting you out here?"

"Probably has something to do with the orgasms I'd wager." Jared laughed and pressed forward in the next moment, shoving Jensen back against the tree and rolling his hips hard to drag denim over denim.

Biting at his lip, Jensen swallowed the rising moan and curled fingers hard over Jared's arms. "I could get orgasms elsewhere."

"Hey now, no need for idle threats, we both know how no one else could make you feel like I do." Jared's smirk grew for just a moment before he dipped in and their lips came together.

That burst of forbidden and wrong crawled up through Jensen as it always did and he drank it in. Being with Jared went against all the things he knew, the world he was brought up in and the life his family expected him to live. Jensen was meant to be a prim and proper boy, follow the rules - legal and religious - and he lost out on the moan as their tongues met and tangled.

One of Jared's hands dug up into his hair, the other tucking beneath his ass and lifting until Jensen wrapped a leg high up over a thin waist. The throbbing ache in his crotch intensified and his hips rolled up to find any sort of friction.

Like this, with Jared pressing him hard up against the tree and kissing him like he'd find all the answers to life, the universe and everything, Jensen forgot about how creepy the woods were in the dark of night. He forgot about his father's stern lectures about right and wrong and the righteous path. He forgot about the looks his friends would give him if they knew he was associating with a boy from the wrong side of the tracks.

Jared pushed and pulled until Jensen fell back and the warmth of thin fingers slipped under too tight denim. It sucked the last of air from Jensen's lungs and he fell from the kiss, dropping his head against the tree trunk that was mostly supporting his weight now.

"How was the Holier Than Thou meeting?" Jared asked through panted breath as he dragged the zipper down and slipped his hand forward.

Fingers curled around the head of his cock and traced the tip, slipping through sticky pre-come and causing Jensen to shudder. He huffed out a breathy laugh and let his eyes flutter closed, rocking up into Jared's too soft touch. "We are not discussing my Bible club while your hand is down my pants."

"Aw come on Jen, I like it when you preach while I get you off." Jared's lips were pressed against Jensen's jaw, mouth over his skin, so Jensen could feel the way his smirk grew.

Jared had to be right, it was the orgasms that kept Jensen coming back, because the snark wasn't in the least bit endearing. "Wanna hear how I sat by Jeremy? How he kept moving so close our - shit - our thighs kept touching?"

The grip over his cock tightened again and Jensen groaned, curling his fingers into the soft cotton of Jared's shirt and pulling up to get at flesh. It was nice to know he could work Jared up just as much as Jared did him. And there was really nothing better than that dark possessive look that made Jared's brows draw together as he straightened up.

"You just want me to get rough. Maybe fuck you up against this tree? What if I had my own plans in mind for the night?" Jared pulled his hand free from Jensen's pants and stepped back.

A protest rose up in Jensen, his back sliding down the tree a few inches before he managed to get his feet under him, but Jared was in motion again before Jensen could get the words out. In the next beat he was spun and pushed forward, his cheek rubbing up against dried bark and not for the first time Jensen wondered why he didn't just get them a hotel room for the night.

Jared shoved Jensen's jeans and boxers down to his ankles, sending the cool night air ghosting over his skin. It was enough to ease some of the heat that had been building and he shifted to lay his arm across the tree so he had something a little more comfortable to rest against. For a while Jared's fingers roamed over his skin, massaging the back of his thighs, dipping between to roll over his balls, sliding up to rub firmly into the mounds of his ass.

Jensen knew why they never got a hotel. The thrill of being outside like this, even where no one could see him, was almost as great as the thrill of doing this in the first place. Still, all this careful touch, slow massaging, it was making him feel a little antsy and he twisted back to frown at Jared. "Are you waiting for a show?"

"Always got to be in such a rush; Jeez, way to make me feel like your dirty little secret." Jared laughed but Jensen's brows rose, wondering if there was something more to the boy's tone or if he was just reading into things.

He didn't have a chance to question.

In the next moment Jared was down on his knees, fingers digging once more into the flesh of Jensen's ass and spreading him wide. Jensen twisted back to rest against his forearm and moaned low in his throat as the steady sweep of Jared's tongue slid over his skin. He never asked where Jared learned to do the things he did but he was eternally thankful for them.

"God, Jared, more," Jensen groaned and rocked his hips back, eager to meet the next glide over Jared's tongue over his hole.

Jared took his time circling the flesh, tracing every inch until Jensen felt his toes curling and his legs shaking. He kept trying to spread them wider but his jeans kept him trapped and he couldn't get enough of that searing heat working spit over his skin. By the time Jared's fingertip was edging in beside his tongue Jensen was gasping in breaths, rocking back just to keep his hard leaking cock from brushing up against the hard bark of the tree.

"Come on, come on, Jared. Stop teasing." Jensen could never control his breathy little pleas when he was being worked over like this; he was pretty sure that was exactly why Jared did it in the first place.

"I wonder if we do this enough now that I could fuck you without any prep," Jared mused quietly as he sat back, pulling his finger free.

Jensen's body was trembling from the mixture of too much heat and cool night air. He listened to the flick of a bottle cap opening and pulled in a deep breath through his nose. "Maybe. If you didn't enjoy shoving your fingers up my ass so mu-"

His words caught on a strangled groan when Jared shoved two fingers into him without hesitation, twisting and pulling out just as quickly. Jensen whined and pushed back to meet the next thrust, heaving in breaths and clutching the tree for some type of support to keep him up.

"I think you've got a smart mouth. One of these days I'm gonna have to fuck it too, maybe teach you a lesson." The words were breathed against Jensen's ear, Jared pressing up against his back now and slipping a third finger forward.

Jensen got off on being controlled, on Jared getting a little dark and possessive and the boy had learned that fast and used it to his advantage. He was caught between that perfect combination of distant ache and burning need, only vaguely registering the whoosh of fabric and the shifting of Jared's body.

Then the fingers were pulled back and he had just a moment to whine at the empty loss before Jared was there, lining up and shoving hard. This time Jensen did crash into the tree, hissing as bark scraped over his skin and his eyes clenched shut.

Jared gave him time to adjust because he always did, because he knew what Jensen needed, because he knew Jensen best. And just around the time Jensen was ready to start begging for more Jared pulled back and rocked slowly forward, inching in like they had all the time in the world.

"What if your Bible friends saw you now?" Jared breathed against his ear between the next in-out. "Pinned up against the tree. Panting and shaking. Desperate for it. What do you think they'd say?"

"Jared," Jensen groaned and dropped his free hand back, clutching at Jared's hipbone and digging his nails into the skin.

"Tell me what they'd say," Jared demanded in a growl and thrust in just as torturously slowly as before. "Won’t give you what you want unless you do."

"They- they'd say," Jensen gasped and rocked his hips back, clenching as if he could make Jared move faster, harder, deeper. As if he had any control over this at all. "They'd say it was wrong. They'd say it was dirty and sick."

"You think it is?" Jared asked, so casually, like he wasn't at all affected by the way his cock was sliding slow and steady deep into him.

Jensen wasn't sure why it always came down to this but he knew. He'd always known. And he'd be here again so the answer wasn't even that hard. "No. I don't."

As if he'd said the magic words Jared was suddenly in motion. He drew back and snapped hard forward, taking hold of Jensen's hips to angle his thrusts and drive down deep. Their bodies collided with the slap of fresh, echoing out between the moans Jensen couldn't control and the breath he couldn't catch.

Jensen closed his eyes and savored. Each time Jared drove forward it was right up against that perfect spot and he knew the teasing had gone on too long for him to last. Jensen chanted Jared's name as the boy's hand slid around and wrapped around him, stroking in time with each thrust in. He was careful to make sure Jensen didn't crush against the tree once more, even when Jensen's knees started to feel a little too weak and his vision began to blur.

"Jared," he managed to gasp out and just when the boy moaned and sank his teeth into the flesh of his neck, Jensen lost out.

His release sprayed up against the tree, body tightening and relaxing and shuddering. Jared moaned and fucked hard forward a few more times before stiffening as well, working his own release deeper into Jensen with tiny little rocks.

They stayed that way for a few long minutes, like they always did, letting the night settle around them and their breaths even out.

When Jared pulled back and stepped away Jensen slumped against the tree, waiting for the roll of shame that always came after the fact. It wasn't there this time and he wondered, maybe, if his mind was finally set on the real truth of the matter.

"So; this the part where you say this can't happen again?" Jared asked quietly and Jensen listened as he pulled his pants up.

A branch cracked off in the distance but Jensen didn't bother opening his eyes to check it out. "Nah; think I'd miss the orgasms too much."

-End