insufficient funds

fic - contender; naruto

marybwolf — Fri, 21 Jul 2017 09:53:26 GMT

Fandom: Naruto
Title: Contender
Chapter: N/A, complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: Sakura; Sasuke; Ino; Moegi; phone-call!Tsunade; mentions of Shizune
Genre: General/Humor
Rating: PG-13ish? Some swearing, mentions of mild violence
Disclaimer: If you recognize it here, it isn't mine.
Prompt: "SASUKE and SAKURA" + "PROTEIN SHAKE" from like six years ago i am so sorry ahzheejhei

"Who's the eye candy?" Ino leaned over Sakura's shoulder, invading her personal space to get a better look at the new member photo open on her monitor. She quickly clicked out of the window, spinning to face her best friend.

"Some new fighter," Sakura answered. "Tsunade poached him from Sound of Success. Apparently, he's a contender for the belt. Jiraiya wanted him bad."

Ino cooed. "What's his schedule?" she demanded.

"Rigorous, I'm sure," she shot back drolly. She knew trying to dissuade the blonde was next to useless, but she had to try. Letting Ino sink her claws into her boss's newest client was not an option. Tsunade would rip her head off if Ino distracted another contender. She was still tetchy about the Neji thing from last year.

"Oh, calm down, Forehead," Ino sang, flapping a hand in her face. "I'm seeing someone else right now."

"He won't be up for grabs next week, either, Pig," Sakura spat. "This is my job. My career. Do not--"

"Sakura," Ino interrupted. "I remember, alright? Tsunade reamed me, too, and I don't even work here. He's safe. You're safe. He's just really pretty."

Sakura forced a deep breath out through her nose. Ino looked genuinely contrite. She couldn't have stayed angry at her oldest friend, anyway, not after she noticed the thick scent of her homemade stew.

"You brought food?"

Ino nudged the plastic container toward her. "'Course I did. I made it for Dad as a thank you for keeping Toshi this weekend. And it's my turn to feed you."

Sakura waved her off, ripping open the lid and inhaling greedily. Ino produced a spoon from seemingly thin air.

"How'd you get back here?" she finally had the sense to ask, through a mouthful of the steaming food.

"I may or may not have bribed Naruto with a buy-one-get-one for Ichiraku..."

"That boy is such an easy mark," Sakura grumbled.

"Are you complaining? Do you want me to take the soup away?"

She snapped her teeth at Ino's teasing fingers. Ino giggled.

"Where to next?"

"Gotta finish logging this guy, then I'm relieving Konohamaru at the juice bar," Sakura replied. "I'll be here all day. My long day. Tsunade's still on vacation."

"I've got a date at 4, but I'll be back to get in my workout." Ino pecked her on the forehead and made to leave.

"Thank you!" she yelled after her friend's retreating back.

"I want it back with cookies in it!"

Sakura emerged from the back office into the main gym area, where the smell of sweat and metal nearly assaulted her. But for all its strength, it comforted her. Some of her best memories were of a gym. Her godmother and biggest influence, Senju Tsunade, had owned, operated, and fought out of a gym just like this one for nearly forty years.

Tsunade had given up a brilliant future in medicine to pursue a career in martial arts. She kept all her medical certification up-to-date and treated most of her prize fighters herself. She'd taught Sakura in her youth, fostering a passion for medicine and martial arts nearly as strong as her own. She was 100% of the reason Sakura had majored in sports medicine to become a physical therapist and eventually part owner of Leaf Street Gym.

She also held several black belts in various disciplines, had a number of awards from competitions, and taught several classes a week. In addition, she ran one of the smaller branches almost completely alone. Today, she was at her location, Leaf on Winding Way, and it was time to relieve her juice bar worker.

"Kid!" she called. "Office. Homework, now!"

Konohamaru looked up, startled, from where he'd been attempting to flirt with one of Sakura's boxing students, a cute redhead named Moegi. He groaned.

"But--"

"No buts," Sakura barked. "You know the deal--your grades slip, I get that ass for a month. Go."

Grumbling, Konohamaru slunk to the office.

"Call if you need help!" Sakura said, saccharine sweet. She chuckled at the dirty look the boy shot her. Moegi giggled. Sakura's gaze narrowed her on her.

"You here to work out or are you just distracting my staff?"

"Just a distraction, sensei," Moegi answered honestly.

"Laps," Sakura growled. "Twenty minutes at the bag, and a spar--with me--sometime in the next week. Go." For good measure, she flicked a cap at her. Moegi ducked but obeyed without complaint.

Sakura took up the position behind the counter, pulling a rag and their cleaning solution to her. Cleaning was not something Konohamaru did well or often. She doubted anyone would be coming in within the next hour--the gym was all but deserted.

She was on her knees, scrubbing the wall under the sink when a smooth, deep voice startled her. Jerking, she tried to stand only to crack her head on the counter.

"This dump is empty," it said. "Tch."

Sakura shot to her feet, incensed. "My gym is not a dump," she hissed. She was so angry she almost didn't recognize the slim young man in front of her. "Asshole."

"Some greeting," the man snapped. He lifted an almost delicate hand to brush raven-dark hair from his equally dark eyes. "I'm your new fighter."

"I know who you are," Sakura snapped right back. "Uchiha Sasuke. Featherweight contender. Why are you here? You should be at Tsunade's location."

"She sent me here," he said coldly.

"I was not informed of this." She'd have to double-check her email later. Tsunade usually kept her apprised of things like this.

"Not my problem. I'm going to warm up. Have a peanut butter protein shake ready in an hour."

"Go fuck yourself, you arrogant bastard," Sakura told him. "I'm not your servant. You can make your own goddamn shake."

He almost looked confused. She almost felt bad.

"Look," she said, more gently. "You're a fighter, not a regular member. You have access to the office and the juice bar--at least, you will once we get you a card made. You'll eventually get a key to Tsunade's down on Leaf. We train you. You take care of yourself."

"Laziness," he muttered.

"Self-sufficiency," she retorted. "Let me guess: your old trainers coddled you. Cleaned all your equipment. Micromanaged your diet. Made everything for you."

Sasuke's silence was enough for her to infer the answer--yes, his previous trainers had done everything for him. She snorted.

"That is laziness. We aren't here to wait on you. We are here to train you to win this title. Get used to doing for yourself or get the hell out of my gym."

His mouth twisted into a snarl, but he didn't argue further. She watched him stalk off toward the locker rooms at the far end of the gym. When he reemerged several minutes later, his knuckles were taped and he was holding a jump rope. He went through his warm-up routine, and Sakura observed.

After a while, he began to move through forms. He was good. Really good. Sakura started to warm up herself, abandoning the bar. It was past time for it to be closed anyway. She'd count down the drawer and finish cleaning later.

"Alright, pretty boy, let's see what you can do," she finally called. "Mats. We're going to have a little spar. First blow to land wins."

Sasuke sneered at her. She leveled him a disdainful look. "It's a rite of passage," she said. "Think I can't fight? Tsunade herself taught me. Let's go. My gym, my rules."

He won, but barely. Moegi, Naruto, and the few others in the gym all looked on, actively rooting for her. Afterward, he demanded access to the bar, where he just stared at the cans and bottles of powder, looking lost.

Something dinged in her mind.

"Do you not know how to--?" she started.

"Of course I do," he cut her off angrily. Snatching a blender from a shelf, he also threw a jar of protein powder to the counter. Sakura allowed him to make a mess for a few minutes.

"You're not going to waste all my product," she announced. "Let me."

Sasuke was most ungracious about it, but eventually he stepped aside. Sakura mixed up a peanut butter shake for him and a strawberry-chocolate one for herself, explaining the steps as she went along.

He sucked it down in sullen silence, doing his utmost to make it look like he wasn't glaring at her. Sakura valiantly ignored him while she cleaned the bar and counted the drawer.

"Hey," Sasuke said sharply. She cut her eyes his way. "...thanks." The quiet word was barely a whisper before he disappeared back into the locker room.

Not all arrogance, then, she thought satisfactorily. Still, it's gonna be a long few days...

Sure enough, there was an email from Tsunade. It was just a few curt lines along the lines of Sasuke is coming early so I sent him your way take care of him until I get back thanks.

Opening a reply window, she typed, Get your ass back here, pronto. Your fighter is a prick.

Sent. Her phone rang almost immediately. Cackling answered her.

"Of course he is, sweetheart," Tsunade managed. "Did you think I poached him for his looks? He's the best I've seen in a long time and he knows it."

"A little warning would have been nice," she answered dryly.

"I've thrown you worse. Suck it up, buttercup."

"I miss you, too."

"Shut up."

"He doesn't know how to make a protein shake. I had to show him. I'm sure there will be other issues that arise later..."

"Probably, but we'll cross those bridges when we have to. Just keep him occupied until I get back, alright."

"Done and done. You're due back Friday. If I have to send Shizune to drag you out of a casino again, neither of us is going to be happy. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. See you when I see you."

"Later, old lady," Sakura said quickly, then hung up before Tsunade could launch into her tirade. She was in for it when Tsunade came back.

fic - kill it with fire; avengers

marybwolf — Thu, 01 May 2014 13:45:32 GMT

Fandom: The Avengers/MCU
Title: Kill It With Fire
Chapter: N/A, complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: ensemble + Jane/mild, unimpressive Thor/Jane
Genre: Crack, Confusion
Rating: T/PG
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I probably don't own it.
Prompt: The Avengers, ensemble, Thor discovers the horror that is the Furby from a comment here by magisterequitum.
Notes: I don't even know, guys. I don't even know. ~~I swear I'm still working on important stuff~~

“Let’s play hide and seek.”

Thor jolts from sleep, but Jane sleeps on beside him with naught more than a snort and a wiggle. A long moment passes in silence and he is ready to settle back into slumber when the words come again: “I’m coming!”

He flings his arm out to summon Mjölnir. The war hammer jerks into his grip, heavy and familiar and as loved as anything he has left. Deciding not to wake Jane is easy; while handy in many situations, she does not tend to handle direct combat well.

“I can see you!”

A giggle.

“You’re not very good at hiding. I’m coming for you!”

Thor has by now pinpointed the source of the noise and, at the threat, hurls Mjölnir. The hammer smashes through the tall piece of furniture where Jane had stored the clothes provided for him and into the common room on the other side of the wall. Light pours through the new entry, illuminating Natasha, who is holding a piece of popcorn to her mouth.

A second later, after Thor has summoned his hammer once more, Clint pokes his head up from the sofa.

“The hell?” he mutters, glancing discreetly at his partner to make sure she’s alright. His attention flicks back to the dust still settling around the Asgardian, missing the redhead’s dirty glare.

Jane materializes at his shoulder, but Thor is still on guard.

“Honey, what—?” she starts, but he motions at her to be silent. The threat could still be viable, after all, though that idea is laughable. Very little has been able to survive Mjölnir thus far.

But he can still hear muffled words coming, in that same voice. His eyes narrow and he barely registers that Bruce Banner has appeared from the opposite hallway, hair messy and eyes sleepy. Thor moves forward to kick some of the debris out of the way, and the thing speaks again.

“I hope you hid well!”

“Wait!” Jane cries as he lifts the hammer again. “It’s just Mick!”

“What?” he says, confused. His weapon is still half-raised.

“My—” Jane makes a frustrated noise, waving her hands in mad circles. Then she moves forward, into the pile of what had just been a wall and furniture. She pokes around in the rubble for a moment before pulling something out with a flourish.

“Mick,” she says, presenting the thing to Thor.

Natasha barely smothers a snort but Clint doesn’t even bother trying to hide outright laughter. Banner walks away, mumbling under his breath, but Tony, who has snuck in unseen, says loudly, “A Furby?”

The thing is small, oddly shaped, and covered with some kind of fake fur. It has enormous plastic eyes and a hideous plastic beak, and overall, Thor thinks it is heinously ugly. He is in love with it immediately.

Then it speaks.

“I found you! Let’s play again.”

He takes it gingerly from Jane’s hands, entranced.

“Are you not offended, Mick?” he asks it. “I attacked you without provocation—”

“It’s a toy,” Natasha tells him. She’s made her way to the couch, and Clint, who is busy stealing her popcorn. She swats his hand out of the bowl.

“It’s ingenious—” he begins, ready to proclaim the marvels of Mick for all to hear. It’s a talking toy.

“Come back to bed, Thor,” Jane urges, taking his hand. Mick gets dropped on the way to their room.

“You’re paying for the damage, Thunder Thighs,” Tony calls after them.
--
The next morning, Steve, rubbing his eyes sleepily, sees the damage when he comes in for breakfast. Random wreckage, he can understand—a world-class spy; an indestructible alien with an even more indestructible war hammer and a protective streak bigger than his biceps when it came to his girlfriend; a semi-hedonistic, mostly settled-down multi-billionaire; a giant green rage monster wearing an eccentric scientist; and Clint co-existing under one roof tends to accrue a lot of damage to almost everything else under that roof.

A shrill voice demanding he play, however, is something for which he is completely unprepared, and he wishes he had his shield so he can defend himself.
--
also here

fic - exfiltrate; naruto

marybwolf — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 18:22:15 GMT

Look, 200 more words! ~~I swear I'm working on important stuff~~

Title: exfiltrate
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Kakashi, Sakura
Word Count: 200
Rating: T
Notes: I don't even remember why this happened.

Shit, she thought.

The guard opened his mouth to sound the alarm. An arm shot out of the darkness behind him, cupping his jaw and twisting. She was too far away to hear the subtle sound of his vertebrae snapping, but she winced anyway. Poor kid was just doing a job he hadn’t been at all prepared for, and she remarked such in a whisper as her eyes met her partner’s intense stare.

“Poor kid doing his job would’ve gotten us both killed, Sakura,” he reprimanded sharply.

She knew. He didn’t have to spell it out for her; this wasn’t her first exfiltration. But the guard had been barely older than her.

“Wonder if he even got his first kiss…” she muttered. Kakashi crept to the corner and peered around. Sakura knelt next to the dead boy.

“The hell are you doing?” he demanded. “We need to move.”

She bent over, pecked the boy’s mouth, and swiftly rose to her feet again. Kakashi glanced at her blankly and said in a flat tone, “Are you ready now?”

“I’ve been ready to get out of this hellhole since last spring,” she replied.

He offered her a grim, humorless smile. “Prove it.”
--
also here

fic - courage is not the absence of fear; harry potter

marybwolf — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 17:50:12 GMT

I'm not dead! I dipped my toe into HP fic. Like. Only 70 words, but psh.

Fandom: Harry Potter

Title: courage is not the absence of fear (but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear)

Notes: Title quote by Ambrose Redmoon (according to the internet)

Prompt: harry potter, ron/hermione, you’re here, there’s nothing i fear, and i know that my heart will go on from bitchet, to be found among the comments of this post.

they cling to each other, before. they have their orders—orders that will separate them for the duration of the battle—but they are still newlyweds.

“are you frightened?” he asks.

“yes,” she whispers. “aren’t you?”

he smirks. “not a bit,” he tells her. “you’re with me.” perhaps it’s stupid, but there is nothing in his heart that trembles.

they have forever in front of them, after all.
--
also here

update - the stuff of children's rhymes; naruto

marybwolf — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 05:00:23 GMT

Fandom: Naruto
Title: The Stuff of Children's Rhymes
Chapter: dinner, or interlude iii
Characters/Pairings: Kakashi, Sakura, Ino; Kakashi/Sakura
Genre: Romance, Friendship, Awkward Conversations
Rating: M/R
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I probably don't own it.
Notes: I have no real excuses for making you lovely readers wait over two years. It started off as procrastination and then just became outright laziness and I'm sorry. I'm trying to kick my butt back into gear and get this one finished for you guys.
--

What, precisely, Kakashi had been thinking when he'd invited Sakura back to apartment for dinner was a mystery. He just thanked his lucky stars it was tidy.

The food, however, was an issue. He hadn't gone grocery shopping in a while and all his produce was close to being rotten because, more often than not, he ate out - or he just didn't eat.

Sakura stopped without warning, jerking his arm - and him - a halt. He turned to her inquisitively.

"What's the matter?" he asked gently.

She hesitated for just a moment before squeezing his hand and looking up at him. "Do you mind if we make a quick stop before we go to your apartment?"

Kakashi shook his head and said, "No. I was actually going to ask you the same thing. All the food in my kitchen is bad."

Sakura laughed and tugged his hand and that strange tenderness was back in his chest, constricting his breathing and making his heart beat faster. He quietly followed her into the heart of downtown, to a quaint teashop where Ino sat wearing a scowl.

"Emergency cancellation, Ino," Sakura said. "Pressing business. I'll explain later." She leaned down and kissed the blonde's cheek. "Go home. I'm sure Shinju misses you."

Ino glanced between Kakashi and Sakura and he saw the way her eyes lingered on their joined hands. She smiled widely and Kakashi was led outside into the dusk of the Konoha streets.

"What should we get?" he murmured to her.

"Anything is fine by me," she answered. "I'm starving."

He agreed wholeheartedly. He'd barely eaten anything that day. So he took the lead again and brought her to a little diner just down the block from his apartment complex.

His palm was sweating inside his glove and he wanted to turn and kiss Sakura but he refrained as they placed their orders and paid. She had to carry the bag with their supper - Kakashi's hands were full.

He hated that he had to drop her hand to root around in his pockets for his key. He missed the warmth and the innocence of the intimacy.

"I love your apartment," Sakura said once the door was open. She said it every time she visited him here. It was usually about the only thing either of them said fully clothed when she visited him here.

Kakashi wasn't quite sure how to respond this time, though, so he fidgeted uncomfortably, glancing at her where she was hovering in the entrance and muttered, "Thanks. Kitchen's this way."

He quickly set them up for dinner after vanishing briefly into his bedroom to deposit the gift on his dresser. Sakura opted to settle on the sofa. No sooner had he handed over her plate and sat on the other end than she spoke.

"Kakashi," she began, hesitant and soft like she was talking to a cornered animal. "Back there, in the woods, what was that?" She put her plate on the coffee table.

It would be so easy to pretend like he didn't know what she was talking about. He could lie and say it was nothing and that she was imagining things - but she would never buy that. So he told her the truth: "I don't know."

Sakura was silent for a while, not looking at him. Finally, she said, "I don't know, either. But I do know...something just changed. Something huge. And it scares me a little."

Kakashi began to pick at his food, hoping to give himself a bit of time to come up with an answer. The truth was that he was scared, too.

"Sakura," he finally said, "I care about you. A lot. But I'm horrible at relationships..."

"I'm not asking for one!" she interjected. "I just don't know where we go from here."

"Me, either," he admitted with a laugh.

Sakura burst into awkward giggles, seeming relieved. "Well, that cleared up exactly nothing," she replied. "But that's alright. For now." She picked up her plate and took a bite.

Kakashi hummed around his mouthful of food and smiled.

Later, they would talk and figure out whatever it was that had changed, and they would adapt to those changes accordingly. For now, they ate.

fic - the throw-out artist; original work

marybwolf — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 02:12:54 GMT

So I decided to finally make use of my FictionPress account and posted something. It can be found here under the title "the throw-out artist."

Comments are appreciated. :)

fic - affection; legend of korra

marybwolf — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 18:29:58 GMT

Fandom: Avatar: The Legend of Korra
Title: Affection
Chapter: N/A, complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: Pabu, Jinora, Bolin, Mako, mentions of the other Air Babies and Korra; none
Genre: Humor/Family
Word Count: ~800
Rating: K/G
Disclaimer: I don't own it. This is just what I do for fun.
Notes: Just a little fluff piece I wrote a while back. I hope you enjoy.
--
To say Pabu likes Jinora is an understatement.

To say Pabu adores Jinora to a such a degree as to make Bolin insanely jealous is slightly more accurate.

The first night Bolin and Mako stay at the air temple, Pabu is wary of the airbending children. Ikki and Meelo are entirely too hyperactive for the laid-back fire ferret-unless Pabu is also feeling hyper-while the eldest is nowhere to be found.

Unless it is their scheduled lesson time, Ikki and Meelo don't go anywhere near the training pavilion, and neither of them willingly enter the library, which is where Jinora spends most of her time-and eventually where Pabu will spend most of his.

The first time Pabu goes missing, Bolin tears through the air temple in a panic and cries in relief when Jinora finds him in the stables with his head in Oogi's mouth, because she's got the drowsy fire ferret cradled in her skinny arms.

"I was reading in the library and he just crawled into my lap," she explains. Her voice is soft and warm and Pabu snuggles closer to her bony chest, making contented little noises.

"Pabu!" Bolin wails, holding out his hands to take his friend from the oldest Air Baby. "You scared me!"

The fire ferret startles awake and begins chittering angrily at Bolin. He looks startled for a moment, then confused, and then hurt.

"But-but-" he splutters.

Pabu interrupts with a decisive chirp and settles back against Jinora, as if the matter is settled. Bolin looks absolutely crestfallen and says, "He's going to be staying...with...with you," and promptly bursts into tears and runs away.

Jinora could swear the fire ferret sighs happily as he falls asleep.

Pabu eventually makes up with Bolin, but even after that, he can usually be found sprawled across Jinora, either in her lap or on her shoulders, napping or out-and-out hiding from her overactive siblings.

Jinora comes to appreciate this in the depths of winter when it becomes awkward to keep a blanket around her shoulders, and the edge comes off her loneliness with the fire ferret around. After Bolin helps her bake treats for Pabu, Jinora finds out that his claws tickle through her clothes when he searches each of her pockets for them.

It takes only a few weeks for her to begin to understand Pabu's moods and chattering, and a few weeks later, Jinora begins reading aloud to him. He rarely seems to care or understand what she's saying, and he always falls asleep around the third page of whatever it is she's reading.

Bolin and Mako find her in one of the gardens one day, a scroll spread out before her and their pet at her side. Winter has passed and spring is in full swing, the humid warmth allowing for fewer, lighter layers. Bolin pauses for a moment, a small smile crossing his face as he observes them.

"I'm going to keep looking for her," Mako murmurs as soon as he notices it. Bolin nods distractedly and settles on the ground to wait for Jinora's attention. Eventually she glances up from her reading material with a faint air of bemusement.

"Yes, Bolin?" she asks politely.

"Pabu really likes you," he comments, the words surprising him because he's fairly certain he didn't mean to say anything.

She laughs. "Well, I like him, too," she says happily, stroking his side. Pabu grunts and rolls over onto his back so his legs stick up in the air. A pang goes through Bolin, because ordinarily Pabu doesn't let anyone but Bolin (and occasionally Mako) touch him when he sleeps. Any number of people have scars on their hands from bites or scratches inflicted from waking him.

But then, Pabu doesn't normally sleep around other people.

Tickling his belly elicits a tinkling giggle from Jinora as his legs twitch.

"He really trusts you, too," Bolin notes. He tries not to sound bitter or hurt, but those tones slide into his voice anyway-heavily enough that Jinora notices and drops her hand from the fire ferret, who immediately stops wiggling and wakes up.

"I'm so sorry, Bolin," she gasps. "I didn't mean to steal him from you, he just-"

"I know," Bolin interrupts gently. "Pabu is fickle," he adds, looking directly at his furry friend as he says it. "But he has good taste."

Pabu chitters, sounding confused, and rights himself. He places a paw on Jinora's nearest knee and then, when she shows no signs of petting him, scurries up her clothes to nuzzle her cheek. He stays a moment.

Bolin speaks again.

"I miss him. But he'll come back when he's ready." He grins. "Won't ya, buddy?" he asks brightly. "And in the meantime, he seems pretty happy with you."</lj>

giftfic for juni: it's hot in the fire nation; atla

marybwolf — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 16:33:26 GMT

Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Title: (In Which) It's Hot In the Fire Nation
Chapter: N/A; complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: Zuko, Katara, brief mention of a guard; Zuko/Katara
Genre: Humor, Romance
Word Count: ~1300
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own nor am I associated in any way with anyone or anything who does own. Please don't sue unless you're willing to accept payment in pocket lint.
Notes: This is Juni's giftfic from over a year ago. She requested AtLA, Zutara, hot summer day. The rest of the fics are coming soon, promise.
--
The heat at the height of summer in the Fire Nation was oppressive, to say the least. The palace was designed to be open and airy - at least in the interior of the structure - but it was still stifling inside the office. Zuko was dripping sweat, and all he was doing was sitting with a pen in his hand.

Katara was at least up and walking around. Sure, her arms were full of books and scrolls and papers, each of them written in dry, boring language - that had more than once made her want to poke her own eyes out with a rusty spoon - detailing each law of the Fire Nation, but she was moving around. She'd been at it for hours; her feet ached and her thin silk robe was sticking to her skin. She'd pulled her hair into a tail high on her head shortly after arriving that morning, and wisps of her impossible curls had escaped. They were tickling her ears and face.

Finally, she couldn't take the irritation anymore. Katara dropped the law materials onto a table and flopped into a chair, freezing her sweat as soon as her hands were free.

The cold hit almost instantly, chilling her skin. She let out a strange sound, somewhere between a sigh and a squeak, at the sudden sensation. Zuko looked up. His eyes narrowed when he saw the beads of ice on her. He cleared his throat pointedly.

"Yes, Zuko?" Katara asked breezily.

"Can you...?" He gestured at her.

She contemplated feigning confusion for a moment, just to screw with him, but decided it was too hot to play games. In a moment, Zuko looked like a Fire Lord-sicle.

"Hot damn, I love having a waterbender around," he said happily. Katara chose not to be offended by that statement, instead leaning her head back and letting her eyes slide closed with bliss. She reveled in both the quiet and the relief from the heat.

"So, how are your lessons going?"

Trust Zuko to ruin it. She loved the man, truly she did, but sometimes she just wanted to gag him.

"Zuko," said Katara firmly. She didn't raise her head - didn't even open her eyes.

"What?" he asked edgily.

"Shhh."

Silence reigned until the ice on their skin began to melt, which took all of two minutes. She refroze it instantly for both of them. Around the fourth time, Katara realized it was probably too much trouble to keep doing this over and over, only for her work to be spoiled in a couple minutes. She began to tour the palace in her mind, searching for someplace that was easier to keep cool.

There were ponds in all of the gardens, or the steam rooms, or the baths.

The steam rooms were the first to be discarded - they were natural chambers filled with steam from the volcano's hot springs. After a moment's thought, Katara rejected the baths too. They were the hot springs, heated by magma.

"Zuko, come with me to the pond."

Zuko made token protests and even went so far as to pack up his paperwork and stuff it into a portable desk to take with them, but in the end he was sprawled across the grass in the shade of a tree. He was nearly naked, stripped down to just his pants, which he'd rolled up to his knees. She took a moment to admire the view before removing her outer layers and shoes and wading into the pond until she was waist deep.

Taking her stance and falling into the proper breathing pattern, Katara cooled the water until a thin crust of ice formed on the surface. It took a lot of energy and she plopped into the water with a splash when she was done, floating on her back.

It was bliss. The hot sun melted the ice fairly quickly, but the water stayed cold. Zuko joined her in less than three minutes. He sighed with ecstasy and dove under the water. The waves rolled Katara around. A short while later, she found herself scooped up in his arms.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" he asked. He cuddled her tight against his chest, and she was intrigued by the contrast from the frigid water from her hips down and the heat radiating from Zuko.

"Yes," Katara answered happily. Her mood had improved greatly with the cooling down, and even though they both had work they should be doing, she was feeling a little mischievous now. She pushed her mouth against his neck, a move she knew perfectly well drove him crazy, and whispered, "This morning before I was even completely awake. It was...amazing."
--
Zuko shivered, but not from the chill. He drew away from her slightly, golden eyes molten, and his hands began to wander from her waist - one to the base of her neck, the other to her thigh below her rear.

"Encore?" he murmured, voice gone husky.

"Not in the garden," Katara said briskly, pulling out of his embrace completely and flashing an impish smile his way. "Anyone could walk by and see us!" She splashed him lightly, missing his grip on her.

He smirked. "So that's how it is?" He flicked a spark at her.

She shrieked and flung up a wall of water, then threw it at him. Laughing with glee, she told him, "It is now."

Zuko's eyebrow rose. He lunged at her and ended up in a bubble of ice. It was perfectly clear, affording him an excellent view as she spun, literally perfectly in her element. She was gathering the pond's water to her command while he melted the bubble.

The fleeting thought crossed his mind that his handlers would be beyond furious if they knew where he was and that he was blowing off important national matters to play with his wife like they were irresponsible children. He shoved it away and went after her again. This time he got doused with a waterfall, Katara giggling from the middle of the pond. She had one hand over her mouth, trying to muffle the sound, a faint blush on her cheeks, and dancing, merry eyes.

Zuko dove under the water, cutting a path briskly to where she was treading water. She could have easily stopped him, but she didn't. He stopped beside her, grabbed her ankle and pulled her under. He surfaced at the same time she did, bobbing just above the surface and waiting with a mouthful of water.

Katara spluttered, wiping her eyes clear, only for him to ambush her. She splashed water in his face again, with her eyes closed this time. Zuko took advantage and propelled forward, taking her by the shoulders and kissing her firmly. Her mouth gave pleasantly under his.

"Zuko," she murmured when he broke the kiss. He could see her blue eyes glimmering contentedly. "I don't want to go back to the office. But if we get caught out here..." She sounded almost like she was whining, not that he could blame her. He didn't want to go either.

"Let's at least dry off," he said, flipping over onto his back and lazily paddling toward the shore where they'd left their clothes. He made it there well before she did, settling in the shade. He was still cold from the pond when Katara laid down beside him, snuggling into his side.

The captain of the guard found them there two hours later, wrapped around each other in sleep and sweating like stuck cow-pigs. He smirked to himself and left them where they were. They'd learn their lesson when they woke up.

Also at FF.net

giftfic for pockyphoto - when samurai attack; naruto

marybwolf — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 05:20:32 GMT

Fandom: Naruto
Title: When Samurai Attack
Chapter: N/A; complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: Kakashi, Sakura, Teuchi, Tenten, Moegi, unnamed OCs
Genre: Drama
Word Count: ~2000
Rating: T+/PG-15
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Also, I may have mangled history, for which you history majors have my sincerest apology.
Notes: Holiday giftfic for pockyphoto, who requested Naruto, KakaSaku, feudal Japan AU. You have my permission to tie me up and beat me publicly for the tardiness. I hope you enjoy.
--
The smell of smoke and charred flesh was strong in the air, choking him even two days after the last embers had gone out - and through his cloth mask. He was getting sick of only being able to react to these attacks on his daimyo's people. Kakashi had always been a man of action. He wanted to sink his teeth - or better yet, his blade - into the men behind this.

His skill set was really more suited to subterfuge or outright battle, but Sarutobi-sama had deemed it fit for him to investigate the latest ransacked village. The survivor who'd initially reported the siege stumbled through the wreckage behind him. The man had already thrown up twice, and Kakashi honestly couldn't blame him. There were few whole bodies left - if burnt could be considered whole - most of those tied to posts, and not a single structure was left standing.

He'd already gotten all the details he could wring out of the survivor and now he was trying to determine the original source of the fire. He doubted there was only one.

A new rustling off to one side caught his attention, and he whirled to face it, gesturing to the man behind him to stay put while he checked it out. Before Kakashi could take a single step, however, a soot-streaked figure poked its face out of the ruins of a barn. Bright green eyes, startling smudges of color in the gray, were wary as they took him in and skipped to the person behind him.

"Teuchi-san?"

"Haruno-chan?" the man asked. The figure stepped out of the shadows. "Sakura, it's safe. This is one of Sarutobi-sama's samurai."

Afternoon light hit the small shape, illuminating it for his study, and it turned out to be a young woman. Her clothes were filthy, torn, and covered in bits of leaves. Twigs were tangled in her long, unbound hair. She was barefoot.

"Sakura," Teuchi said again. He was holding a hand out to her. She skirted around Kakashi, never putting her back to him, and grasped the man's hand. He yanked her into him, arms going around her in a fierce hug. He said something to her - something Kakashi couldn't catch - and crumbled when she shook her head in the negative against his chest. He trembled violently.

Kakashi looked away to give them some semblance of privacy in their moment of grief. When it turned into something longer than a moment, he began to walk away, continuing his study of this attack.
--
Sakura barely knew Teuchi-san, but she clutched him tight. She was a little fuzzy on how she'd ended up in his embrace in the first place - all she could remember was a rush of dizzying relief at seeing a familiar face after two days of blur.

"Ayame?" he whispered.

Sakura froze for a moment before shaking her head.

Teuchi's tremors eventually turned into sobs, and his legs seemed to give out. She ended up on the ground, huddled in his grasp with his heaving breaths shuffling her hair. By the time he had calmed down, the sun was just above the horizon and the samurai was hovering.

"Come on, you two," he said. "We need to get back."

She was reluctant to go anywhere with him, despite Teuchi's assurance that he was one of Sarutobi's men. He was in full battle dress, and the last time she'd seen samurai, they'd been terrorizing her village.

"We have food and beds," the samurai said.

She paused even as Teuchi rose to his feet and began to join him.

"You can have a bath," added the samurai, clearly hoping to entice Sakura. It worked. She'd spent the past week in the wilderness. She knew she looked terrible, and she certainly felt it. She stood but didn't make any move to close the gap between them, still hesitant.

It seemed to snap the last of the samurai's patience. He strode forward and snatched her around the waist, ignoring her attempt at flinching away, and slung her over his shoulder.

She froze with panic. The men who'd attacked had taken girls this way. She'd heard them screaming for help as she fled; guilt had flooded her as she'd sped past, unable to help.

"Put me down," Sakura breathed. "I'll walk." She couldn't breathe. Her head felt light and far away.

The samurai dropped her into Teuchi's grip and stalked off. Teuchi wrapped an arm around her, guiding her into a walk a few yards behind the samurai. He led them east for several hours to an enormous estate. It was fully dark by then, and Sakura was more than ready to fall into a bed - any bed - and sleep for a week.

A young woman greeted them in the small house the samurai led them to. She looked familiar, Sakura thought, as she watched her stowing away the samurai's and Teuchi's shoes.

"Thank you," the samurai said. "Take the girl to a room. Bring her clothes and set up a bath for her. Then send someone to the main house to tell Sarutobi-sama that I will report to him first thing in the morning. That will be all for tonight."

"Yes, Hatake-san," the young woman answered. She bowed as the samurai walked away. Teuchi disappeared into the house after bidding a good night to Sakura.

"Come with me, miss," she said, rising to her feet. "I'll show you to a room." She turned down a hallway into the opposite side of the house, leading Sakura to a small, sparse bedroom furnished with a single futon and a chest in one corner. "I'll have a bath sent to--"

"Tenten?" Sakura gasped.

The young woman met her eyes for the first time since she'd set foot in the house. She stared at Sakura for a long moment, tracing her features, lingering on her eyes. Finally, she smiled.

"Sakura," she said warmly, holding her arms out. "It's been so long. I'm sorry."

She stepped closer and hugged Tenten hard. And that was when it really hit - her village was gone. All of the people she'd ever known were dead, including her husband and her parents. The dizziness from earlier returned, with twenty times the force. Sakura felt sick, but tears refused to come. She was grateful for that, if nothing else.

"How did you do it?" Sakura choked out. She was clutching her old friend like a lifeline.

"Do what?" Tenten asked softly, sounding confused.

"Survive."

Tenten was quiet for a moment. "I don't know," she finally said. It sounded like a confession. "I was so young when my parents were killed...I didn't really understand what was going on for a long time. When I did realize what had happened, I just...kept going like I had been. It was all I could do. Hatake-san helped, taking me in the way he did. He helped me focus. He's a good man, Sakura."

Sakura remained silent. There was no way she could see handling the days to come without falling apart, but an eerie stillness had crept into her now. She pulled away from Tenten.

"Thank you," she said. Her voice was empty. "I'd like that bath now, please."

Tenten's mouth rounded for a moment, her brown eyes sad. "Alright." She left. Sakura settled on the tatami floor, her legs crossed. For lack of anything better to do, she began to finger-comb her hair, picking out bits of foliage.

Tenten returned shortly after that, hauling a large wooden basin. A few other girls trotted behind her, each holding a big, steaming pot. Tenten set up the tub in the center of the room and each of the girls made two more trips toting water before the tub was filled enough. Then she helped Sakura undress, setting her ruined clothing in a pile outside the door to be burned. She stepped into the bath.

"Moegi, bring some fresh clothes, please," Tenten ordered. "And some food, if you would. Thank you." She gathered up the soap and cloth as the younger girl left with a nod and a smile. "Would you like me to wash your hair?"

The weariness settling in Sakura's bones told her she wouldn't be wise to refuse, so she nodded.
--
She followed the samurai's movements with interested eyes from her darkened corner of the porch. He was bare from the waist up, missing every bit of armor, and drenched in sweat. He'd been going through sword drills for over two hours now - and that was just the time she'd been watching. He'd been dripping when she came across him.

The samurai moved with grace. He flowed through the movements, made them almost a dance. A longing began to unfurl in Sakura's heart, startling in its intensity. She'd barely felt anything for the past three weeks, drifting through chores in the samurai's house and suffering through nightmares when she slept.

But now, as she watched him smoothly sheath his blade and set it aside, she wanted.

"I know you're there, girl."

Sakura jerked at the sudden sound of his voice. She wasn't sure what to do, but she didn't plan on moving - Tenten had told her to take the afternoon and rest - and she certainly didn't plan on apologizing. Observing the samurai had seemed as good an idea as any. Instead, she stepped out of the shadows and stayed silent.

"Why are you watching me?"

"I had nothing better to do," she replied blithely.

"You're very bold, girl," the samurai said. His tone was neutral.

"I'm very honest, samurai," she almost snarled in return.

"My name is Kakashi." Now the samurai sounded pleased, which bewildered Sakura. "And anger is good. But you need to separate me from the men who destroyed your village. I am not one of them."

Sakura flew at him, fist balled. He sidestepped. She fell on her face.

"I'm going to teach you."
--
The girl's hair was pink. That was, illogically, the first thing Kakashi noticed about her when he saw her the morning after she'd arrived at his house. The next thing he'd noticed was that she had a warrior's spirit, dampened as it was at the moment.

He'd kept her on as a servant, even after the other survivor's offer of taking her in and taking her north, to his sister's. He'd asked Tenten for her name, ignoring her secret smile as she'd given it to him - Sakura. Now she was staring at him, studying his every moment with naked lust in her eyes. But it wasn't him she wanted, it was his skills.

Well. Woman or not, she could do what he did. Tenten had certainly taken to the warrior training like a fish to water.
--
The girl's limbs were trembling when he finally let her rest. He'd worked her hard all day. She would barely be able to move tomorrow, and he would push her twice as hard. She was doing well.

"Why - " she panted, raising a limp hand to brush loose strands of hair out of her face. "Why are you doing this?"

"Someone has to defend this place when the men are away at war," Kakashi answered vaguely. It was true, but it wasn't the answer to her question. He took the few steps to the water bucket and drank from the ladle. The girl stared enviously. Because this was only her first week of training and he remembered all too well how brutal it was, he had pity and carried the ladle to her. "Small sips. Too fast and you'll be sick."

The girl accepted it slowly, taking the water in short swallows. After a few minutes, she let it rest in her lap. "Thank you," she said softly, gaze downcast. "But why are you doing this?"

Kakashi looked sideways at her. "Because I can. And because you need it." That would frustrate her, he knew, but he didn't care. He wasn't sure how to explain his reasoning, and he didn't want to try.

Fortunately, the girl seemed satisfied with his enigmatic reply for the moment. She was stubborn, though, and he knew she would ask again eventually. For now, she just passed him the ladle when he dismissed her and left.

He would need a better answer prepared.
--

Also at FF.net.

giftfic for deni - making family; naruto

marybwolf — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 05:11:22 GMT

Fandom: Naruto
Title: Making Family
Chapter: N/A, complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke, Itachi, mention of Kushina, OC restaurant employees; Itachi/Sakura, Naruto/Sasuke
Genre: Humor, Romance, Family, Friendship
Word Count: 1,979
Rating: M (for language)
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor am I associated in any way with its authors, artists, and various other people. I'm not making any money from this. Trust me, if I was getting paid to write fic, I wouldn't be so damn behind.
Notes: Giftfic for denilmo, who requested Naruto; Itachi/Sakura; she didn’t want to be just a memory. I am so, so sorry this is late, honey muffin. You have permission to flog me. And stuff. ;) Er, I should probably warn you: Genderbend ahead. Also language.
--
“Naruto!” Sakura howled, hopping awkwardly around his crap on one foot for a moment. “Don’t you ever fucking clean?”

“Language,” Sasuke scolded absently from her lounging position at Naruto’s messy desk. “There are virgin ears here.”

To which Sakura responded with a string of violent swearing that would have made the foulest-mouthed sailor—or Naruto—blush. Sasuke, however, remained unaffected, still idly flipping through some magazine or other. It was porn, probably from her boyfriend’s collection. Looking at Naruto’s bed, it was confirmed; a corner of a cardboard box was sticking out from underneath.

“Sorry, Sakura-chan!” Naruto hollered, voice muffled. He appeared in the door of his closet after a moment. “Hey, why are you here? Don’t you have a date with the bitch’s brother tonight or something?”

Sakura put on a hurt expression and flopped onto Naruto’s mercifully made and otherwise unoccupied bed. “Why would you ask that, Naruto-kun? Don’t you like hanging out with me?”

Naruto’s blue eyes got huge and he backpedaled so fast he tripped over his own tongue in response.

“NoSakura-chanIlikehangingoutwithyouIdidn’tmeantosaythat—”

“Shut up, you moron,” Sasuke interrupted. She flicked a pencil at the snickering girl on her boyfriend’s bed. “She played you.”

“And yes,” she said. “I have a date with Itachi. It’s later tonight. Right now, we have a study date.” She sat up, yanking her book bag onto the mattress beside her and pulling books out. “That means all of us,” she added, glancing at Naruto.

When he refused to comply, she directed a scathingly meaningful look at Sasuke, who gave every appearance of being engrossed in an article in Naruto’s porn. Knowing her, though, she probably was reading the article. Weirdo. Sakura flicked the pencil back at her and she ducked before it could hit her.

Okay, so she was a weirdo with uncanny reflexes. Whatever. They still needed to study for finals.
--
An hour and a half later, Naruto’s mother arrived at home. The first thing she did was storm her son’s room, her curtain of shiny red hair swinging wildly as she gave Sakura and Sasuke the boot. Her loud voice followed them out, scolding Naruto for the state of his bedroom.

The last thing they heard before closing the front door behind them was Naruto whimpering, “Sorry, Mom, ow, ow, ow—”

“So,” Sakura began awkwardly.

Ever since she’d started going out with Sasuke’s older brother, things had been strained at best between the two of them. They rarely hung out alone anymore, using boisterous Naruto as a buffer and counting on him to carry along the conversation.

“Need a ride to my place?” Sasuke asked, hitching her backpack higher on her shoulder. “I know you’re supposed to meet Itachi there.”

“No,” she answered. “I only live a block away from here and I need to get ready for—mmmph!”

She whipped her head back from where Sasuke had apparently decided to attack her. She’d smashed her mouth to Sakura’s so hard their teeth had clicked through their lips and was that blood she tasted? It was a little hard to tell through the pain and dizziness caused by the nose that had collided with hers.

“Sasuke, what the hell was that?” she demanded, eyes closed. She rubbed at the bridge of her nose and resisted the urge to beat her violently about the head and face.

“Kimphing you,” she mumbled.

“What?”

She muttered something even more quietly, and then said, “I was kissing you. I wanted to get your attention.” She sounded…embarrassed.

Sakura opened her eyes to the sight of Sasuke red as a cherry, mouth pinched sourly.

“Well, it fucking hurt,” she snapped before better sense could clue her in to how stupid a comment that would be.

Sasuke’s scowl deepened as the silence continued.

“Why?” she finally asked.

She fidgeted uneasily. Her gaze darted all around, bouncing from tree to house to car to sidewalk to grass to tree and skittering over her face before settling on her shoulder. “Because,” she finally said.

“Because why?” Sakura pressed. She’d had an enormous crush on Sasuke when she was fourteen—the only attraction she’d ever really felt for another girl—before she’d become friends with her and realized just how much she’d kill her if they were together. The crush had never been requited. And then she’d met Itachi, Sasuke’s older brother, and begun dating him. They’d been together for almost two years, only slightly more time than Naruto and Sasuke had been a couple.

Sasuke had been withdrawing from her since almost the beginning. She thought it was because of her romance with Itachi, that the thought of them grossed her out or something, or if she was angry with her. The whole situation confused and upset her, but she wasn’t sure how to bring it up with either of them. She loved Itachi but didn’t want to lose her friendship with Sasuke to be with him.

“Just…just because.”

“That is not an answer, Sasuke,” she informed her tartly.

“Because I was friends with you first!” she burst out. Once the words were out, more spilled behind them. Sasuke couldn’t get them out fast enough. “I was friends with you before you started dating my brother and you’re cutting me and Naruto out to spend time with him! I just don’t—it’s like you don’t care about me anymore.”

Oh, Sakura thought. Before she could say anything, Sasuke continued.

“I don’t want Naruto and I to be memories while you’re off being stupid and happy with my brother.” The confession felt forced, but the honesty in her friend’s black eyes was shocking. Sasuke had always been a caustic, sarcastic girl who hated sharing her feelings.

“Sasuke,” Sakura said softly. “I would never, ever abandon you for your brother.” She made a snap decision and Itachi would just have to deal. “Clear your schedule Saturday. We’re having a girl’s day, just you and me.”

“But—”

“No,” she interrupted. “We’ll kidnap Naruto for breakfast and then he can wander around town somewhere while we hang.” Before the other girl could protest, Sakura surged forward and hugged her hard. “I won’t tell Naruto about the kiss, either. For both of our good.”

She stepped off Naruto’s front porch and hurried to her house down the street, irrationally excited for the weekend.
--
Itachi’s personal space was always immaculate, which by turns endeared him to her and made her want to tear through the place like a hurricane. But for some reason, it didn’t bother her today as she stretched out on his bed on her back and absently watched him type away at his computer.

Sasuke would walk by every now and then, carrying various things in her arms, to check on them. One of the rules of the Uchiha household was that significant others could be in the bedrooms, but the door had to stay open at all times. Sasuke, nosy girl that she liked to be on occasion, often took advantage of that rule.

During a lull in the pace of Itachi’s typing, Sakura spoke.

“So, your sister kissed me today.”

Itachi hummed. “I thought Sasuke might try to do something,” he remarked, unsurprised. “She’s prone to fits of insanity. Did she say why?”

“She blamed you,” Sakura said, laughing. “She thought I was spending too much time with you and not enough with her and Naruto. So I’m canceling Saturday with you. Sorry, baby.”

“But tonight is still on?” he asked, sounding slightly worried. She knew it was pretend when he spun his chair around to stare at her.

“Yes,” she said, smirking coyly. He stood up and walked over to the bed. She sat up as he perched beside her. “Tonight is still on.”

“Good.” Itachi gave her a warm, genuine smile. His dark eyes lit up happily. He leaned in to give her a kiss. “Tonight is important.”

Sakura laughed. “Our dates are always important, Itachi.” She kissed him. “C’mon, we should go. Our reservation is for six-thirty, right?”

He ignored her—probably thinking she was trying to wheedle the restaurant out of him again—and climbed on the bed, snuggling into her. She squealed. “It’s only five forty-five,” he said. “The restaurant’s only five minutes away. We have time.”

“You’re gonna wrinkle my dress!” she protested. “And your door is open—”

“So anyone could walk by, see what we’re doing, and choke on the adorable,” Itachi cut in dryly. “I just want to lay here. Maybe make out a little, ’cause you’re wearing that pineapple lip balm again.”

“You have the nose of a bloodhound,” Sakura grumbled, but twisted around to kiss him anyway.
--
They showed up to dinner at the fanciest place in town ten shades of disheveled. Itachi met the host’s eyes flatly, daring him to comment. The older man made no mention of their rumpled clothes as he seated them.

“Your server will be with you shortly, sir, madam,” he told them before retreating to his podium.

“Itachi,” Sakura hissed, snapping out her napkin and settling it across her lap. “This place? You let me come here looking like this? And for the love of God, why here? You can’t afford this!”

“Sakura,” he replied soothingly. “Calm down. I can afford it, trust me. I decided on here because this night is special.”

She squinted her eyes at him suspiciously, but quieted down and started asking about his graduation ceremony on Sunday.

“Rehearsal went smoothly on Wednesday,” he told her. “But I think Shisui is planning something stupid for the actual ceremony.”

Giggling, she answered, “I wouldn’t put it past him. That boy is out of his mind.”

Their server appeared. Itachi placed their orders—the menu had been in Greek, a language Sakura hadn’t been able to study yet—and they continued chatting over the salads and pasta dishes.

Their server came around again just before they finished their plates to ask about desserts and Itachi requested baklava to share. When Sakura tried to object because she was so full, he waved her off.

“Trust me,” he said. “You’re going to want this.”

She furrowed her brow in confusion, but finally agreed to it. A few moments later, the sweet appeared on the table, and Itachi was staring at her. It was a bit disconcerting, she decided, as she lifted her fork to dig in.

There was a ring on the plate. It was a simple little thing, just a slim gold band set with a small diamond, but the fork clattered from her numb fingers. Her mind went white.

“Itachi,” she wheezed. “What—what—” She stopped, unable to draw a breath. “You’re not…hohgod.”

He was looking a little panicked. “Sakura?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

Like he doesn’t know.

“R-ring,” she choked, fanning herself.

“It’s not an engagement ring,” he said slowly. “I’m not asking you to marry me.”

That statement, especially paired with the ring, would disappoint most women but it calmed Sakura considerably. And a calm Sakura meant a Sakura who could think. Which meant she was thinking about how offended Itachi might be at her reaction.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out. “I mean, I love you—so much—but I’m only seventeen and, yes, I would love to spend my life with you but we’re still just kids…” She was rambling but she couldn’t make herself stop.

Itachi laughed. “I know,” he said soothingly. “I understand. It’s a promise ring. It means I’ll always love you and that I plan to propose someday. That’s all.”

Now there were tears in her eyes as she plucked the ring from the plate and slid it onto her finger. It fit perfectly.

Sakura giggled, slightly hysterical, through her tears, and said, “Oh, Sasuke. She’s never going to be just a memory. She’s going to be family.”

Itachi’s answering grin was downright wicked.
--

Also at FF.net.

fic - numbers; leverage

marybwolf — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 21:42:46 GMT

Fandom: Leverage
Title: Numbers
Chapter: N/A; complete drabble
Characters/Pairings: Eliot, Parker, unnamed OCs; Eliot/Parker
Genre: Drama
Word Count: 171
Rating: T/PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own so please don't sue.
Notes: Just a little drabble. Enjoy.

"You only sent four men?"

Four men are an insult, no match for someone like him.

"Highly trained, experienced, dangerous men armed to their teeth- "

"Four," she interrupts. "Four men are nothing to my husband. You'll be getting pieces of them back in the mail."

He backhands her, a sickening crack echoing through the room. She spits blood, cackling.

"Only four."
--
Two days later, he storms through the door, hands up and loose. He dodges the rifle butt aimed at his head and in less than ten seconds has taken possession of and disarmed it.

He doesn't miss when he slams the gun into the other man's head. The other man crumples as he approaches her. He flips his knife out of his pocket easily and slits the bonds on her arms and legs. "His men led me to you."

Her head lolls on her shoulders. A wide, bloody grin splits her face and her voice cracks when she laughs and says, "He only sent four."

He laughs with her.

Also at FF.net.

she ain't gonna smile 'til she lights up her lucky

marybwolf — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 02:05:13 GMT

I have bronchitis. That little cold I thought was going to go away in a couple days is bronchitis.

A friend loaned me the Pistol Annies album and it's been great.

Aaaaaaand I have to go to court tomorrow, for the apartment thing I discussed a while back. Haha yay not. So. Tired.

anyone can tell you you're pretty

marybwolf — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 06:15:09 GMT

Deni, I sent you to bed and started my beta-ing on Kage System while I do laundry. Hm. Double-standard? Maybe. But I have no little ones or guests. :P

There was another point to this post, I swear, but I do not remember what it was.

holy mother of pearl, y'all

marybwolf — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 05:09:17 GMT

I don't know how many of you, if any, are fans of country music, but I am. And I was watching some of the videos on GAC and Rodney Atkins' Just Wanna Rock'n Roll was filmed at the Mississippi Valley Fairgrounds. That means nothing to you, but those fairgrounds are kn my hometown. Davenport, Iowa. And a shot of a few of Davenport's firefighters are in the video. My uncle is a Davenport firefighter. He wasn't there, but still.

Holy shit, guys.

hmmm.

marybwolf — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 03:48:45 GMT

So I created another LJ account a while back (like, in spring. Yeah.), just to test myself and see if I was doing the anonymous comment thing right. And now I don't know what to do with this account. I was kind of thinking about using it as a writing journal? Where I post my fanfic as back-up, and even played around with layouts and stuff.

It is here if anyone wants to take a look at it. There's nothing posted there yet, but I wanted to ask my flist what they thought.

fic - bite-sized; leverage

marybwolf — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 05:44:15 GMT

Fandom: Leverage
Title: Bite-Sized
Chapter: N/A; complete drabbles
Characters/Pairings: Nate, Sophie, Eliot, Parker, Hardison, Maggie, Sterling, Tara, Chaos, Archie; implied Nate/Sophie, Hardison/Parker, Eliot/Parker and Sterling/Maggie if you're wearing those goggles
Genre: Humor, Horror, Angst, AU, Hurt/Comfort, Crack
Word Count: 1,913
Rating: T+/PG-15 for some themes
Disclaimer: I don't own.
Notes: This came from...um, I don't remember where this came from, honestly. Some sort of meme, I think? I've been working on it off and on for a while. I hope you enjoy.
--
First Time (Chaos and Tara)

The first time Tara meets Chaos in person, she laughs in his face because she finally gets the joke. She's listened to Sophie bitch for hours on end about how much her team's geek abhors his rival, and seeing him, she understands why. Chaos could be Hardison, if Hardison were shorter and paler and far more annoying.

Chaos, naturally, is offended, but he's learned his lesson about trying to kill grifters attached to the Leverage team. So he quietly installs custom-designed software on her phone and waits.

Angst (Nate)

Sophie's hand is low on her abdomen, her face set in the 'how do I say this' expression he's only seen her wear a handful of times, and suddenly Nate is thirteen years in the past, coming in the door to a woman who is the polar opposite of Sophie in every way and yet wears the exact same expression as those words fall from their lips.

"I'm pregnant, Nate." Maggie's voice echoes in his memory as Sophie's voice echoes in the kitchen, and Nate's knees go weak. Thirteen years ago, they went weak from joy. Now they go weak from terror.

Everything beautiful that's handed to him has an expiration date. His mother, his wife, his son, even his father. Thus far, he's considered it a miracle--or immense stupidity on her part--that Sophie's stayed so long.

He doesn't want to kill another innocent person just by being in their life.

But Sophie's lovely mouth is lifting into a hopeful smile, her dark eyes lit with tentative happiness, so Nate smiles back and takes her into his arms. Later, after she's left for the first of what he's sure will be a vast number of baby-shopping sprees, his expression falters and he spikes his whiskey with coffee.

AU (Archie and Eliot)

"He was out!" Archie snapped, working hard to conceal his panic. When had Nate gotten this reckless with his people? "He was home free--"

"Shut up, Leach, I'm thinking," Nate interrupted sharply. "Parker, you can see him?"

"Of course, Nate," Parker answered swiftly. "He's...pacing. And muttering to himself like he's me."

"Eliot," Archie said, turning away from Nate. He was only endangering Eliot and he hadn't put in all that time and effort into training just for him to get killed indulging a drunk's fantasy. "Can you hear me?"

"I can hear you, sir," Eliot answered. "What is it?"

"I want you to get out of there, now," Archie ordered. "Light and quick so they don't catch you. Isn't that what I taught you?"

"It is, sir. But that was a long time ago and this team has taught me different."

Archie was taken aback at the way Eliot subtly put him in his place and a small, proud smile fought at his lips. The boy had found a family in these people and he was willing to risk it all for the self-assigned mission. After all, wasn't that why Archie himself had taken this job--to protect his own family?

"Alright, kid," he said, resigned, "where do we go from here?"

Threesome (Sophie, Tara, and Sterling)

It felt like a betrayal of Nate's trust--of her entire team's trust--working with Sterling, but Tara had called, a note of desperation in her voice that Sophie had never heard there before. Sterling had, as per his usual, blackmailed her into a job, and she wanted backup.

"You're the only one I can even consider trusting on a job like this, Soph," Tara had pled.

Something had gone sideways somewhere and now she and Tara were both dressed to the nines, hanging on Sterling's arms like simpering fools at some business gala.

"This had better work, Tara," Sophie hissed furiously as Sterling's hand dipped a bit too low on her waist. She resisted the urge to dig a thumb into the soft part of his wrist in a simple, effective move Eliot had just taught her.

Tara winced, casually twining her fingers through Sterling's to lift his hand higher. "It will," she assured, confidence dripping from her tone.

"It's my plan, of course it'll work," Sterling interjected smugly, and Sophie stopped resisting the urge. His stifled scream was utterly satisfying.

Hurt/Comfort (Maggie and Hardison)

Hardison is really tall. Maggie comes to this realisation as her head is on his chest and his head is on hers in a sudden and extremely unexpected hug. She pats his back and he squeezes her tighter, his breath hitching.

"Sophie is a tough cookie," Maggie murmurs. "She'll pull through just fine." They're empty words, intended to comfort, and Hardison only seems to collapse further into himself.

Nate is a wreck, staring at the door to the operating room like it's the key to his salvation. Parker is nowhere to be found--hasn't even been seen since Sophie was shot. Eliot had been gone by the time she'd arrived and Hardison has been clinging to her since she walked in.

In truth, Maggie is just as scared as Hardison, but given that Sophie is usually the mother in these situations, she holds herself together and strokes his back soothingly.

Crackfic (Archie)

"No!" Archie squirmed in the teacher's grasp. She had a pretty decent hold on his ear, and it hurt to squirm, but this was wrong. "Let me go! I'm not five!"

"Funny how you're not denying you didn't take Hannah's crayon, though, isn't it?" the teacher demanded.

"I took the damn crayon!" he argued back. The teacher gasped but he continued on, regardless. "This isn't--I'm not five years old! Let go!"

He hadn't been this bad at stealing since he was five years old, damned chubby fingers unable to grab things lightly anymore, damned chubby arms and legs unable to perform the gymnastic moves he'd used in countless heists.

"We're going to have a long, long chat with your mother, young man," the teacher promised.

Parker! Yes! She was posing as his mother until Hardison fixed whatever the hell had gone wrong with his crazy machine and got him back to the proper age--unless Archie could convince him to stop at the later teen years.

Horror (Hardison)

Eliot was the first to go. He went down fighting, protecting--clawing for them to get that extra second to make their own escape--even though he was burning up with fever and coughing up blood and spongy bits of what were probably his lungs. He'd gotten bitten protecting Hardison in a pharmaceutical lab while searching for proof that the company had developed the drug that jumpstarted the outbreak.

Next was Sophie, mauled to death when one of the infected turned at a gala where she was trying to charm information out of the head of research and development the next week. Nate barely made it out alive, having been her partner, as usual. Then he helped Hardison and Parker firebomb the hotel, refusing to discuss it.

Nate died somewhere between that night and the next morning, finally drowning in a bottle. Parker blew his head off with the shotgun when he came at her and withdrew so far into herself that she never said another word.

With those three gone, there wasn't much point--or fight--left for either Hardison or Parker. By then, most of the world had either been infected or eaten and all that was left for them was survival.

Babyfic (Maggie and Sterling)

"James, I thought you already had a daughter." Maggie tried not to sound annoyed, but it wasn't working. So far, she had done everything to take care of this baby, from feeding and changing to bathing and dressing him.

"I did," Sterling answered, not glancing away from the newspaper he'd buried his nose in as soon as Maggie had entered the room with baby Aiden on her shoulder. "My wife took care of all...that." He waved a hand at where she'd set him down in a high chair with some dry cereal.

She grit her teeth, half-praying that today would be the day Nate or Sophie or Eliot called and gave them the all-clear to return the child to his parents. She was still wondering how she and James had ended up stashed in a safehouse with an infant in the first place.

"Well, it's time for you to learn," she announced. "I'm sick of doing all the baby work around here. You are changing the next dirty diaper and you are bathing him tonight." James turned his head to look at her, scowl set on his face. "Period," she added with all the steel in her.

Dark (Parker and Eliot)

Parker's scream rattles through Eliot with all the force of a hurricane, rebounding sickeningly in the concrete room they're locked in. So many of his bones have been broken by now that he's lost count of the cracks, agony singing through him with every movement.

That, however, ceases to matter the instant the door swings open on its well-oiled hinges and a man he's never seen before heads for Parker, hand on his fly. His instincts kick in and he begins to fight against his bonds to get to her. He collapses with a hoarse cry before he even makes it to the end of his tether.

He knows he will never be able to scrub the sound of Parker whimpering and thrashing from his mind, but the terrible quiet that falls when she stops struggling is even worse.

Deathfic (Parker and Sophie)

Jeanne Louise Campbell
December 14, 1961 - July 17, 2005

Sophie silently read the headstone over Parker's shoulder, unsure of whose it was. The name meant something, because Parker had gone still and quiet, like flat champagne.

"She was my mother," Parker said suddenly. "My real mother. I was taken from her when I was five. I barely remember her."

Sophie was stunned into silence, touched that she was sharing this much. After a moment, she reached out and tentatively brushed Parker's hand with her own. Parker seized it like a lifeline and held tight.

"She found me," Parker said, voice low and choked, "about a year before she died. She...wanted to apologize. For letting me get taken away. I never even knew it until she showed up, but I was so angry at her for that. I didn't want to forgive her..."

And now it's too late, Sophie thought, finishing Parker's sentence. She still didn't say anything, though now it was out of fear that if she spoke, Parker would stop.

"Sophie--" The word was little more than a sob, and Parker spun to bury her face in her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around Parker gently, until the other woman pulled away. Her eyes were dry and there were no tear tracks on her face.

"I wonder sometimes what it would have been like," Parker admitted softly. Irrational panic fluttered in Sophie's heart, questions beginning to race through her mind. "I just wonder...and then I see one of you and I stop wondering. Because I have a family now and I don't need her anymore."

Sophie smiled and gave her hand a gentle tug. "Come on, Parker," she said. "The others are waiting for us." It was a simple distraction. Parker would continue to grieve, regardless of what she thought. But at least she knew that she had people to support her.

Parker took one last look at the grave marker and then followed Sophie away.

Also at FF.net.

fic - lioness; criminal minds

marybwolf — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 23:50:16 GMT

Fandom: Criminal Minds
Title: lioness
Chapter: N/A; complete drabble
Characters/Pairings: JJ, Morgan, Garcia
Genre: Family, Drama, Angst
Word Count: 139
Rating: K+/PG-14
Disclaimer: I'm just a fan, I don't own.
Notes: Please be gentle, it's my first time in this fandom. Just a little drabble from JJ's point of view, set during Penelope. So, spoilers for that episode, obviously.

Morgan tells her that the man who shot Garcia is in the BAU. The rest of her family is at risk. They need someone behind him, someone he won't see until it's too late--and she is the only one available.

So she slides her gun from her holster and leaves her office and goes to the glass doors.

She takes aim, noting absently through the focus that Rossi is talking.

The man begins to turn and all she can think is Garcia Garcia Garcia Garcia's blood on the steps Garcia pale and colorless in a hospital bed Garcia's smile weak and strained Garcia holding her stomach Garcia wincing with every movement and the rest of my family is in danger now too.

She fires without hesitation, the glass shatters, the man falls, and her family is safe again.

Also at FF.net.

fic - dinner date; leverage

marybwolf — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 23:46:21 GMT

Fandom: Leverage
Title: Dinner Date
Chapter: N/A; complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: Eliot, Parker, Archie, mention of Marilyn; Eliot/Parker
Genre: Humor/Romance/Family
Word Count: 636
Rating: T/PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Notes: I swear I started this before ultrawoman started her high school AU (which is totally awesome). Enjoy.
--
“Archie wants to meet you,” Parker announced, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She handed Eliot a paper cup of steaming coffee, fixed up just right at the gas station across the street after he’d called her ten minutes ago and told her he was going to be late to school.

He gratefully sipped from the cup as she nestled herself into his side next to his car and then finally managed to croak, “Why?”

“Because he wants to get to know the boy I’m going to be having sex with,” she told him frankly, and coffee nearly came out of his nose. He’d known Parker nearly his entire life, a side effect of growing up in a one-horse town and having a class of less than forty people, but somehow he’d managed to avoid having to meet Archie until now.

He swallowed hard and lifted his arm away so he could face her. “Parker, darlin’,” he began.

“I know, I know,” she interrupted, waving a hand. She sobered, a rare and somewhat disturbing state for her, and continued, “But we’re starting to get a little more serious now, and…I want to make sure you two get along before we do start having sex—”

“—Parker—”

“—or anything,” she finished, skipping neatly over his choked rendition of her name.

Eliot’s heart was thudding in his chest, but he nodded. “Okay.”

“Great!” she chirped. “Friday night, my house. Marilyn is making a pot roast. Bring pie. His favorite kind is strawberry-rhubarb.” She made a move like she was going to snuggle back into him, but the bell rang from inside the school, so she just pecked him on the mouth and darted away, her book bag slapping against her hip as she ran.

He gulped down the rest of his coffee and followed, making a mental note to ask his mother where she’d stashed the strawberry-rhubarb pie recipe.
--
Something about Archie’s unrelenting stare was beginning to make Eliot feel like a bug under a microscope. He was being studied, to what end an unpleasant mystery. It also probably didn’t help that Parker was making no attempt to mediate between her adoptive father and her boyfriend, happily cuddled in Eliot’s lap on the sofa and apparently oblivious to the awkward hostility in the room.

And then a soft snore reached his ears. She was sleeping? What the hell? He checked his watch and it turned out to be almost midnight and he had a curfew. He shifted and stood with her in his arms.

“Mr. Leach?” he said softly. The older man cocked a brow without saying a word. “I, ah…” How to say this without sounding even more awkward? “Where is Parker’s bedroom? I want to take her to bed before I go home.”

He cringed. Way to go, dumbass.

Archie frowned. “I’ll take her,” he said, standing.

“No, that’s okay,” Eliot protested quickly, unconsciously hugging Parker closer to his chest. “I’ve got her.”

“Yes,” Archie murmured. “That’s exactly the trouble.” Then he sighed and beckoned with a hand, leading him to Parker’s room. Archie turned down the blankets and Eliot covered her back up, kissing her forehead before returning to the foyer and the front door with Archie.

He stuck his hand out and looked Archie square in the eye. “Thank you for the meal, Mr. Leach. Your wife is a fine cook.” Archie shook his hand.

“Thank you, Eliot,” Archie said. “Your pie was good, too.”

He smiled gratefully. “The recipe is my mama’s, sir,” he admitted.

“Give her my compliments, would you?” Archie asked, and Eliot nodded.

“I should go, sir,” he said softly. “I gotta get home before curfew.”

Archie opened the door, commenting, “You seem to be a decent boy, Mr. Spencer,” before it closed behind him.

Also at FF.net.

fic - zuko gets a pet; atla

marybwolf — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 23:36:20 GMT

Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Title: (In Which) Zuko Gets a Pet
Chapter: N/A; complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: Zuko, Ty Lee
Genre: Humor/Friendship
Word Count: 516
Rating: K/PG
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Notes: Originally for a contest somewhere. The only rule I remember anymore is that Zuko got a pet. Enjoy.

“Fluffy-kins!” The heinous voice rang through the halls of the family wing at an obscene volume. The Earthbenders in Zuko’s head slammed rocks at a furious pace against his temples.

He rose unsteadily from his bed, foot tangling in the sheet. Zuko couldn’t get it free and when he yanked, he fell on his face, and landed in an inelegant heap on the floor.

“Dammit,” he mumbled into the tile, clutching his head as he sat up. His foot was tangled, and the sheet hadn’t taken the fall with him, so his leg was on the bed still. After fighting a moment, he stood awkwardly and reached for a dagger on his bedside table, intending to cut it off.

The door flew open, slamming off the wall with a resounding bang! that echoed through the room- and Zuko’s head- painfully loudly.

“Fluffy-kins?!” that grating voice called again.

“Not quite,” Zuko deadpanned, rubbing his head.

“The alcohol getting to you, Zuzu?” The tone of the voice was now amused.

“Yes, Ty Lee,” he grated. “It is. This is the worst hangover ever.”

“The first one usually is,” she granted. “Drink some water. And keep a basin handy.”

“Ugh,” he moaned.

“Have you seen Fluffy?”

“What is Fluffy?” Zuko said the word like it left a foul taste in his mouth.

“Um…”

Zuko’s stomach dropped, quickly followed by his jaw, in horror.

‘Um’ from Ty Lee never ever meant good things. The last time they’d heard ‘um’ fall from her lips, the entire north wing had been drenched by slime bombs, half of the east wing had been destroyed by rampaging komodo rhinos, and the section of the library that housed the tax records had gone up in flames and then hit by a tsunami.

Granted, it hadn’t been totally her fault (as in Sokka had concocted the slime bombs in his room; Jet had been the one let loose in the stables; and Aang was the Firebender who’d been practicing his forms indoors and Katara had tried to put the fire out), but as the mastermind behind the whole scheme, she bore the brunt of the guilt.

The royal servants, stable hands, and accountants loathed her, but she was the patron saint of construction workers the country over.

That had been one of those days where Zuko swore that whatever deity had been assigned to him was convinced that it had drawn the short straw.

So when Ty Lee said, “Um…” and suddenly found the floor the most fascinating thing in the world, Zuko was duly terrified.

“Ty Lee, what did you do?!”

“…I got you a pet?”
--
It turned out that Bosco was female.

And during the Earth King’s travels after fleeing Ba Sing Se, Bosco had made the acquaintance of a male. Nature had run its course, as it is wont to do, and Bosco had little Boscos.

How Ty Lee managed to acquire one was a mystery, but the fact remained that she had, and it was now up to them to find it.

Zuko prayed his guardian spirit was feeling extremely benevolent.

Also at FF.net.

best birthday present EVER

marybwolf — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 22:37:07 GMT

This season of Sons of Anarchy is premiering on my birthday. FUCK YES.

Also, a lot of other stuff has been going on, which I will explain later in an flocked post because I need some serious discussion with my buds.

xo

peeps it's taking over hardcore and i have no desire to make it stop

marybwolf — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 04:58:35 GMT

Iroh/Asami.

That is all.

Except for I squealed so hard when I heard the general being called Iroh. The squealing got far higher-pitched when Dante Basco's voice came out of that pretty, pretty face. I got Looks from my sister and her boyfriend, who were watching it with me.

soooo. guess who has a new fandom?

marybwolf — Fri, 15 Jun 2012 05:16:13 GMT

Not like it's hard to figure out. It's me. And The Legend of Korra. I really like Asami, guys, and I feel like she's getting the short end of the shipping stick because it's fairly obvious that Bryke has all the subtlety of a brick to the head and is going to end up going the Mako/Korra route (which is fine with me, honestly). Except that Asami is getting seriously short-changed in the bargain. And I like Asami. I may or may not also be shipping Korra/Asami. And Mako/Korra/Asami.

I'm also sort of maybe shipping Bolin/Jinora hardcore. Future!shipping, of course, and given that my first ship is Kakashi/Sakura (wherein there is a fourteen-year age gap), the six or so years between Bolin and Jinora is really mild. Right? /justifying

Where is the story? Because I seriously feel like it's missing. It's been all over the place, with Amon, with Yakone, with Tarrlok. How does it all tie together? Is there something I missed in the comics?

Also, also. I'm a redhead now. Yeah. Except for, the chick who did the dye job the first time around SERIOUSLY fucked it up so it's still a little brown in the front. But I got another box of dye and Mom's gonna help me fix it.

And on another random, topic-jumping note--a week in South Carolina in July, for my brother's graduation from power school! And my sister signed her contract with the Navy. Spec Ops. She goes to boot two days after her eighteenth birthday.

...This got really long for being typed on my phone. I miss mah LJ peeps. <3 xoxoxo

fic for Del: timeline

marybwolf — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 19:10:29 GMT

HOLY HELL I AM ALIVE. I'm so sorry this took so long, Dellie dear! Deni, you're up next. :)

Fandom: Naruto
Title: Timeline
Chapter: N/A; complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: Senju Hashirama, Senju Tobirama, OC nursemaid Ami, OC Uchiha Miu, Uchiha Madara, others; Tobirama/Miu
Genre: General/AU-ish
Word Count: 1,010
Rating: T/PG-13
Disclaimer: Don’t own. Also, I completely ignored canon, so is this even really necessary?
Notes: This is Del’s giftfic, which is over five months overdue. She requested Naruto, Senju clan before/during the founding of Konoha (preferably with an emphasis on Tobirama), For how long? So, the for how long part of the prompt kind of got, um, blatantly ignored (because I was struggling with this one), which is why this is in a semi-timeline format. Can be interpreted as for how long between events…? I hope you like it, my dear—and I am so sorry for the tardiness.

To the rest of you expecting fic from me: It is coming. I’m working on them now.
—

When he is seven weeks old, Tobirama survives his first attack by the Uchiha. This is based more on the skill of his nursemaid than luck, because he is born in a compound where even the lowliest servant is a highly trained killer. Also, his mother and older brother were in the nursery when the raid started and the three shinobi they sent were barely out of training.

Hashirama is seven and already one of the best. He senses the first shockwaves of battle before their opponents have even managed to crack open a window. He kills the last one in, knowing Ami will take care of the other two.

Hashirama’s first concern after the raid ends and the attacking Uchiha lie dead and scattered is his baby brother. Before even wiping the flecks of blood from his cheeks, he goes to the crib in front of which his mother crouches and smoothes the hair from the infant’s forehead.

Blood smears Tobirama’s face and all Hashirama can do is smile in relief.
—
When he is three years old, Hashirama teaches Tobirama to throw a kunai. He masters it within three weeks. Next, Hashirama teaches him to throw shuriken. Tobirama masters it within three days. By the time he is six, Tobirama’s taijutsu is perfect. By the time he is eight, he has perfected his ninjutsu and genjutsu skills. At nine, he proves his tactical and strategic genius with a flawlessly executed raid on an Uchiha camp. At twelve, he is considered Hashirama’s lieutenant, in charge when the nineteen-year-old clan leader is away.
—
When he is seventeen years old, Tobirama falls in love with an Uchiha girl. They meet on a blood-soaked battlefield, two of the last half-dozen or so fighters from either side left standing. She is extraordinarily beautiful, even under all the grit and grime of the past three weeks of war.

He notices the color of her eyes as she moves in close enough to attempt to run him through with her blade—a shade of grey softer than the flat black of the main branch. Her hair, though, that is the raven typical of the Uchiha, as are her pale skin and haughty, angular features.

Her hair feels greasy when he catches her by it after she fails to kill him. As he is trying to drag her to him, she lifts her hands and shears her hair off with the sword she carries. He is left with a fistful of black strands and he laughs.

He wants to know her name, so he asks her for it. The request seems to draw her up short, and she hesitates before she answers.

Miu.

The battle ends when the Senju retreat with the intention of regrouping. The Uchiha send a messenger, requesting talks for peace. A truce is reached.

Tobirama seeks out Miu and finds out everything about her.
—
When he is eighteen years old, Tobirama marries Miu. She is twenty-one and heavily pregnant at the time. His family disapproves, unwilling to believe that she is carrying an heir of the Senju, but she has long since stopped looking at him with distrustful eyes—he and his brother Hashirama are the only members of the Senju clan she trusts—and that is enough for him.

Hashirama has begun speaking of a forming a static village. He has also begun speaking of forming a permanent alliance with the Uchiha—to begin with. His dreams, as they always are, are huge. He is very likely to get the entire clan on his side; Hashirama has always been inspiring and persuasive.

By the time Miu gives birth, Hashirama has gathered the support of the main branch of the Senju and begun speaking with the leaders emerging from the fall of the Empire. After the first round of meetings, he enlists Tobirama’s aid.

Hashirama, for all his prowess on the battlefield, is a terrible diplomat.
—
When he is twenty-five years old, Tobirama secures a deal with the daimyo of the newly formed Fire Country for several hundred square miles of land.

Within the next two years, Hashirama forms alliances with the Hyuuga, Sarutobi, Shimura, Utatane, Mitokado, and Akimichi clans. Almost by default, the Yamanaka and Nara clans join the pact, due to their long history with the Akimichi.

The Uchiha is the last family to join the original treaty, although when Hashirama writes the history later, he will claim they co-founded Konoha and earned their place as the police force.
—
When he is thirty-three years old, Tobirama buries Miu. She is the fifth ninja to be buried in the plot on the compound, and the first kunoichi. She has given him four beautiful, talented children over the course of their fifteen-year marriage.

He has to fight to have her entombed in the Senju plot when Uchiha Madara tries to claim her body from the medics.

His three oldest children, their daughters, prepare her body for her funeral. Tobirama and their son craft her coffin in the meantime.

Afterward, Tobirama throws himself into his work, organising a school, structuring the Council of Elders, and arranging meetings with high-level medics to set up a hospital. He also sets mission level parameters and takes on several of the highest-ranked himself.

He takes on a team from the first graduating class and trains them as he would train any other squad.
—
When he is thirty-five years old, international tension boils over and war breaks out with the youngest and most arrogant of the fledging static villages, Kirigakure. Soon enough, the other three villages have involved themselves and the civilians of Fire Country flee to the perceived safety of Konohagakure, calling the conflict the Great Shinobi War.

Hashirama, who has become known as the Hokage—Fire Shadow—dies along with Madara when the Uchiha tries to rebel at the Valley of the End and Tobirama naturally assumes leadership responsibilities. In spite of his new title and respect, he volunteers to be a decoy in a huge battle and names Hiruzen, a talented young man of the Sarutobi clan, his successor.

Ever since he helped Hashirama form Konohagakure, he has considered it his home. His. And he is willing to die to protect it.
—

Also found at FF.net.

marybwolf — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 04:40:45 GMT

Holy fuck if LiveJournal isn't a pain in the ass to use on my phone. -_-#

Although it is pretty fucking sweet that I can use my phone to tell you that.

fic - a particular item

marybwolf — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 02:38:49 GMT

Fandom: Naruto
Title: A Particular Item
Chapter: N/A, complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: Kakashi, Sakura, Ino, drive-by mentions of Tsunade and Shikamaru; Kakashi/Sakura, mention of Shikamaru/Ino
Genre: Humor, Romance
Word Count: 1,620
Rating: T/PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, nor am I associated in any way with any of the actual owners of Naruto. This is a work of fanfiction, purely for fun, not profit.
Notes: Giftfic for Christine, who requested KakaSaku; her porn video collection. This was due about a month ago, and I am so very sorry for the delay. Blame Leverage.

The phone rings in the dead of night. Her lover is away this weekend, occupied with work. Her source has been hard at work tracking down this particular…item. She had given the go-ahead at the start of this endeavor to call at any time of day or night when it was found.

Even so, today was a hard day, and she can’t stop the growl of irritation when she picks up.

“What?”

“I found it,” the hushed voice on the other end says. “Tomorrow, eight A.M., Momo’s Café.”

“In public?” she asks incredulously. “If this is discovered, I’ll be--”

“I am utterly discreet when it is necessary,” she is told shortly. Her source is offended.

“I apologise,” she says. “Tomorrow morning, then. I’ll be seeing you.”

“See you.”

She hangs up and is entirely unable to squelch the giddy squeal and excited bounce that sends a pillow and her silky duvet off the far side of the bed.

It takes her nearly an hour to fall back to sleep.
--
The last thing Kakashi expected after flying home from a three-day business conference that had melted his brain into mush was to find his girlfriend gone from their bed in the morning on her day off.

Sakura was a chemist in the research and development department at Leaf Pharmaceutical. She put in long hours at her lab, often coming home and dropping into bed with little more than a kiss goodnight for her beloved boyfriend. She was never out of bed before noon on her rare days off, and even then, he often had to force her to get up.

The woman loved her sleeping-in time.

And he’d gotten in hours earlier than expected, hoping to have a little downtime with his lady before he had to go back to the office tomorrow and give his presentation.

Kakashi glanced at the clock as he set his travel bag down at the foot of their neatly made bed. It was only nine in the morning. Had she been called in? The head of her division, a large-busted blonde woman with a terrifying temper whose name tended to escape him, was usually pretty strict about Sakura’s days off. And Sakura was usually pretty strict about leaving a message for him on the small whiteboard stuck to the freezer door in the kitchen when plans changed.

He meandered out of their bedroom and into the living room, where he spotted nothing out of the ordinary, and made his way into the kitchen. There wasn’t a note on the whiteboard, but he hadn’t really expected one--she hadn’t been expecting him until that night. But when he opened the refrigerator, there was a plate with two waffles and three bacon strips next to a bowl of fruit.

After breakfast, he decided, he’d do a little deep cleaning around the place. If he wasn’t going to be having sex with the woman he loved, he may as well put the time to use cleaning. So he set the plate in the microwave to warm and set about tracking down a notepad and pen to make a list of everything he’d need to get it all done.

He muttered to himself as he cut up the waffles, turning on the radio. Sakura thought it was a secret that she listened to heavy metal when he was gone, but he’d come home more than once to find the station tuned to it. Kakashi thought it was cute that, despite everything he knew about her, she still wanted him to think she was mostly demure.

Turning up the volume as he carried his supplies into the bedroom, Kakashi only half-listened as he went about dusting and polishing furniture, sweeping and mopping the floor, vacuuming the rug, and re-organising the dresser.

It took him about an hour and a half to get through cleaning most of the room.

And then he opened the closet. Shoes flew at him.

Nearly every woman he’d ever met had a shoe fetish, and Sakura was no exception. She went shoe shopping at least once a month--even had a regular date with her best friend, Ino, and she never came home with less than three pairs every time.

He sighed. He’d bought that damn rack for her to get them all organised and yet here they were, erupting from their closet like an angry volcano. He sat down, resigned, and began to sort through the shoes. It was going to take at least a couple of hours to get to the bottom of this pile.

He was generous in his estimate by twelve minutes, and at the end of it all, he found the shelving unit buried under the shoes, still in the unopened box, propped against the wall. Behind it sat a large, plain, unmarked cardboard box. He’d never seen it before.

Inside were tapes.
--
“These are fabulous!”

Ino was holding a pair of open-toed navy blue pumps with a dreamy expression on her face. Sakura looked up from her examination of brown suede boots and took in the price tag.

“Gorgeous,” she commented, “but if you bought those, you and your husband would starve to death.”

Ino made a dismissive noise. “Shikamaru hardly eats anything at all,” she replied. “He wouldn’t even notice if there was no food in the house.”

“I don’t think you’re giving him all the credit he deserves,” Sakura said. “He’s not nearly as lazy as he lets you believe. I honestly don’t know how you haven’t figured that out yet…” She sighed wistfully and forced herself to walk away from the boots. Slowly but surely, she was beginning to realise she had a problem with compulsive shopping, and as the saying went, the first step to recovery was admitting that.

She didn’t need any more shoes. No matter how soft the suede was or how well they’d go with that one dress…

She shook her head and checked her watch. It was getting pretty close to one o’clock, and she wanted to clean a bit before Kakashi got home later that evening--maybe even have a simple dinner prepared for him when he walked in the door. She was hardly a gourmet chef, but Sakura knew her way around her own kitchen.

That, and she wanted desperately to get out of the shoe store before she ended up buying the entirety of the clearance aisle. Ino wasn’t helping as she petted strappy gold wedges, practically drooling.

“I should go,” she said aloud, startling her friend out of her shoe-induced high. “Kakashi’s coming home today and I need to get some stuff done around the house before his flight gets in.”

“But…you can’t go!” Ino protested, latching onto her elbow. “A woman can’t shoe-shop by herself, that’s just pitiful. And I’m not done yet.”

Sakura shook her off, feeling the weight of the brown-paper-wrapped package in her purse. She’d spent the entire day with Ino, starting early that morning with a huge, calorie- and carbohydrate-loaded breakfast at their favorite little diner, Momo’s Café. Ino had gotten hold of something important for her, something she’d wanted for a long time, which was the only reason she wasn’t still in her bed, dozing and just being lazy.

Her best friend was clearly unhappy at the turn her afternoon was taking, but she hugged Sakura tightly when they parted ways outside the shoe store. Ino patted Sakura’s purse with a conspiratorial smile. “Enjoy that, hon,” she murmured. Sakura paled and Ino walked off with a smug smirk.

On the drive back home, Sakura stopped and picked up a little something to eat because she and Ino had missed lunch in their joyous shopping extravaganza. She was rather proud of herself. She’d only picked up one pair of shoes today, and she did legitimately need them. Tsunade had been riding her ass hard lately and the latest reprimand had stuck with her.

The shoes she’d been wearing to work were unacceptable. Tsunade had been very clear that she needed to get some that were allowed under the company’s policy or she was getting a write-up.

Sakura could not afford another write-up. Another write-up would mean an unpaid suspension.

She polished off the wrap as she pulled into her assigned space in her apartment building’s parking lot. Unfamiliarly light shopping bag in hand, she unlocked the door to the back lobby and rode the elevator to her floor.

When she opened the door to her apartment, faint sound reached her ears. She closed the door as softly as she could and began to creep through her own home, removing her shoes and picking up an ugly, heavy brass candlestick on her way past it in the hallway.

The bedroom door was closed; she was positive she’d left it open that morning. Sakura paused a moment to press an ear against the door, and heard music playing.

She recognised it. It was the theme from the dirtiest of the tapes she kept hidden in the back of her closet. She kept the box a secret from Kakashi--from everyone.

And yet there it was, playing from the small TV on the dresser. Either someone had broken in and gotten distracted or Kakashi had discovered her collection of highly pornographic videos.

Sakura prayed it was a distracted thief.

She cracked the door open and spotted Kakashi sprawled across their bed, watching two men going at it with an expression of horrified fascination. Dropping the candlestick and throwing the door wide, Sakura stepped into the room, red as a tomato and beyond mortified.

Kakashi’s face cycled from the horror to smug, and he said, “Why, Sakura…I never knew you were such a kink.”