Two infinities ~ God and Stupidity

4:10am

marstokyo — Mon, 16 Oct 2017 08:31:01 GMT

Actually, a quick trip to Facebook made me think of something else. The place is flooded with ME TOO postings from women who have been sexually harassed at some point in their lives. This basically includes every woman out there. So it made me think of all the times I was sexually harassed when I was young. It's such a vulnerable age to be in your twenties and out in the world for the first time. Away from the protective clutches of your family.

I really was afraid almost all the time. I was not a happy person and this picture at age 23 probably says that.

I was also fairly good looking, and this made me even more of a target than most. I married my first boyfriend at the age of 20. It took some cajoling because he was 7yrs older than me and knew what he was doing and if given his druthers probably wouldn't have gotten married. But I was persistent. I wanted to be married to be safe again. And it did make me safe, when I was with him. It did nothing for me when I was out by myself, walking down the street. Then I would get catcalls from strange men of varying ages. Some so bold they'd come right up and try to talk to me. It terrified me.
In 5yrs time the marriage was over, I was divorced and really on my own for the first time in my life. There was a man where I worked, head of the photography department who wanted me to call him Mr. Darling. He'd sidle up to me and lean in real close and mutter innuendos at me. I had no idea how to handle it. Months went by. Finally I backed off, raised my voice and said "Will you PLEASE leave me alone!" I was shaking when I said it and my voice cracked, but I finally got the message across to him.
I was single for 6 years before I was married again, to my current husband. During that time there were countless incidents of sexual harassment both on and off the job (I was a graphic designer). Eventually I became a mother, focused on that, and I aged out of it. I became invisible (like my LJ icon). Invisibility has its benefits.

Mail Art

marstokyo — Sun, 15 Oct 2017 19:15:27 GMT

I'm getting old old Spiegel catalogs off of eBay and cutting them up to make mail art postcards.

Long time no Write

marstokyo — Sun, 15 Oct 2017 19:08:29 GMT

It's been well over a year since I've updated my LiveJournal. So sad. This was once such a vibrant community. I'm getting really sick of Facebook too. Social Media in general. Well, I guess LJ is social media but it's in a different realm from Facebook. There's more reflection. And there doesn't seem to be the constant bombardment of current events as there is on FB. I'm so sick of seeing Trump's ugly face everywhere I look. Maybe I can hide out here for awhile and avoid it.

I may have a commission to do another coastline painting, this of the Magothy River on the Chesapeake. Not sure if we're in agreement on the price.

marstokyo — Sat, 23 Jul 2016 02:22:20 GMT

I'm having a really rough time this week, being bombarded with crap in the world...beginning with Trump and his evil minions. I've fled Facebook trying to escape. I'm reading the NY Times weekend arts section and what do I find, but an article on Ted Cruz --it's everywhere--even the Arts section. It's making me very depressed. Also I cut back one of my meds trying to conserve because I was having problems getting a refill and I think it's now bottoming out. Very bad times.

I'm back

marstokyo — Fri, 22 Jul 2016 11:51:44 GMT

I'm taking a break from Facebook because it's way too depressing and political over there. I can't take it anymore. The world and America in particular is way too depressing for me. Stop the world I want to get off.

Last week we were at a cabin on Indian Lake, NY and it was heavenly. I'm having re-entry problems this week coming back. It's hard going from Heaven to Hell. Well, it's not actually Hell here, though the heat resembles it. But Donald Trump's face sure looks like Satan.

swelling

marstokyo — Wed, 20 Apr 2016 19:45:25 GMT

the swelling is gradually getting smaller and the pain is virtually gone. I

A bill?

marstokyo — Thu, 11 Feb 2016 18:47:40 GMT

I was billed $19.73 this month via my MasterCard by Live Journal and I have no idea what it's for. I have a permanent account. Does anyone know how I contact someone at LJ to find out what this is?

CUBA

marstokyo — Fri, 30 Oct 2015 16:09:21 GMT

Almost a week ago we returned from a week spent in Cuba with the Oberlin Alumni Association. I wish I'd been feeling more hale and hearty for it but I came down with a cold early on which has now settled in my chest since returning home. Ugh. Still the trip was great. We saw many things, people and places. Drank ample mojitos and ate generous portions of Cuban food.

This was our farewell dinner at the San Cristobal Paladar.

This is where Papa Hemmingway slept in Cuba-- the very bed. Imagine.

This was outside a house of Santeria, and one of my favorite pictures from the trip. Scary!!

This was from inside a house of Santeria. Many shrines and devotional objects.

I hope the U.S. can finally lift the embargo we've had against Cuba and start doing business with the government and the people of Cuba. It's about time. It's really silliness not to.

Google-ing old boyfriends

marstokyo — Thu, 16 Jul 2015 20:38:36 GMT

There's nothing more depressing than Google-ing an old boyfriend and finding out all the NEA grants he's gotten, Fullbrights, solo museum exhibitions, books published, and blah de fucking blah blah blah. Why did I do that? I knew it was going to be like this. I knew it. And bad blood aside (let it be known that I dumped HIM)..his work is some of the least deserving I've ever seen. I knew this when I went out with him. It used to infuriate me. We had no real chance of succeeding as a couple because I didn't respect his work and he didn't respect mine. So it was a great thing when I got out. Soon after I met Jon and he was a world apart and the rest is history.

But still, it gets to me. The injustice of the art world. How mediocrity just keeps getting rewarded. And the more it's rewarded then the more it gets rewarded like a compounding of bank interest. More begets MORE. And conversely less begets less.

This is where I would start my pity party but I'm not going to do it. This time I'm not stooping to that level. I just wish I could let go of the resentment.

Empire of Cotton and all things

marstokyo — Thu, 08 Jan 2015 21:14:08 GMT

Matthew 19:24
"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”

I'm reading The Empire of Cotton: A Global History by Sven Beckert and really, it seems that from time immemorial it has been true of the human condition that the wealthy keep getting wealthier off the backs of the poor. There was a thriving textile industry in India in the 1400s-1600s. The weavers set their price and merchants paid it. Then the European merchants came in and figured out a way to cut out the textile merchants in India, and even set the prices that weavers could ask for their cloths and thus got the cloth for far less than they would have otherwise paid.

How did they do this? The author calls it War Capitalism, through means of violence of course. Eventually they set up factories in England and France (the two primary wagers of War Capitalism) to weave the cloth and forbade textiles from India from entering their countries, even though the Indian cloth was far superior to the English or French versions. They then employed all manner of espionage to steal the methods of technology the Indians used so they could duplicate their products.

Of course the whole production of cotton back in the eighteenth century was predicated on slavery. It's an interesting read. But it makes me think of today, and how wealthy merchants continue to use "slave" labor, and child labor in countries like China and India to make their wares for the least amount of money. Anything other than this would be deemed "bad business.

"
Turkey red calico print circa 1827

Back from Alaska

marstokyo — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 11:26:16 GMT

The Alaskan Cruise was pretty swell-- on all counts. Above, outside of Skagway AK, a panorama I took with my iPhone. I took over 200 pictures during the week.

Hostas from the Buchart Gardens in Victoria BC.

More pictures to come as I upload them to the computer.

The cold air was very welcome. Especially now that I'm back in the heat and humidity of summer in Baltimore. The first half of the trip was shrouded in mist but then it cleared and we had sunshine by the time we made Skagway.

Material witness

marstokyo — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 01:53:47 GMT

I have this recurring dream where I'm in a really exclusive fabric shop and I'm falling in love with all the material. I go from bolt to bolt, unrolling it to see patterns, feeling its texture in my hands. Sometimes I even smell it. The experience is so heady, and I'm so high on all the beauty. Then I go to the pattern aisle and look through the patterns, all of which are interesting and nouveau. I think about what I will make and with which fabric. It's a very happy dream that's always welcomed.

Working with the iPhone

marstokyo — Sat, 21 Jun 2014 15:23:19 GMT

Tomorrow we fly to Seattle and board the ship to go to Alaska. One week. See ya later.

May Day

marstokyo — Thu, 01 May 2014 19:55:08 GMT

The first of May. Always one of my favorite days on the calendar. And thankfully the torrential rain of yesterday has stopped and the skies are cloudy but with sun. It's also hot as summertime.
I like that May 1st also celebrates International Worker's Day.
Tonight my friend, Liz, and I will be monoprinting on gelli plates. I've never done monoprints and am looking forward to it. Need to raffle through my paper stashes and find some appropriate paper to print on.
I'm so glad the rain has stopped. Three days of it was too much, especially that it was heavy and unending. The sound of it on the roof scared Lupé and she was a nervous wreck. I had to slip her some Benedryl.

Rain rain go away

marstokyo — Sun, 30 Mar 2014 14:04:42 GMT

The forecast says tomorrow will be sunny and the week will be mostly clear, but the extended forecast says the following two weeks will be rainy. I wonder how they can predict that? I'm so weary of the rain-- our flat roofed house makes it very apparent when it's raining because we hear it coming down. And the past several days it's been relentless. It's hard on Lupé because she won't go out in the backyard. And walking her is a pain. I'm so ready for tomorrow.
Jon comes home today in the late afternoon. I'd love to see Grand Budapest Hotel at the Senator but he'll probably be too tired from the travel.

Singular and the same

marstokyo — Thu, 27 Mar 2014 15:05:51 GMT

I'm trying to write here at least once a week. I think that's good if I can keep going with it.
So Jon is away to a convention in Denver till Sunday. I'm having supper with Ben tomorrow night. Otherwise I'm just here by my lonesome self. :-(

I sent out a couple mail art things yesterday but otherwise there's been no progress in the studio. I have to remember to go in there to keep the plants watered. A gallery in Bethesda is interested in showing my coastlines but has been delayed in getting up to Baltimore to look at them so that's on hold for now. I've been passing the time doing jigsaw puzzles on the iPads. Read "Twelve Years a Slave" in two days despite it being a rather long book. It was so engrossing I couldn't put it down. I'd seen the movie and it was pretty faithful to the book. God what a long ordeal. I can really see the case for some kind of reparations being made for slavery but I guess it would be impossible logistically.

Also read "The Great Gatsby" and was impressed by how faithful the new movie was to the book. Word for word even. Still not crazy about the Baz Lurhman excesses in the movie but it's starting to grow on me the more I watch it on HBO.

getting better gradually

marstokyo — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 14:41:53 GMT

Cold is finally waning after almost two weeks. I made it back to water aerobics this morning. First since becoming sick. Hard going getting back into it. Still feel washed out and dazed.

Waiting to go out couch shopping with Ben this morning. Hope we find something nice and affordable. Lupe did the garbage strewing thing yesterday while I went grocery shopping. So now everything is put away and locked up tight. Wish I knew why she has started doing this?

The Sketchbook Project™ -- Dreadful project

marstokyo — Tue, 04 Mar 2014 20:41:06 GMT

The Sketchbook Project has a small project going called "Dreadful." Limited to the first 1000 that signed up (that was me) the thing is to make an entry that shows a particularly dreadful nightmare or something that is terrifying to the person drawing it. It's harder than it sounds. But I went with my earliest nightmare from the time I was about 6yrs old-- I dreamed about a man that was made out of grey cloth and stuffed and sewn crudely-- he had no face, no fingers, hair or details. And he was so menacing and terrifying because he was always chasing after me and scaring me. For some reason, his name was Bad Surf. I don't know where that came from but that was his name. I'd always wake from those dreams so terrified I couldn't move or speak but would remain frozen hoping that if he was in the room he couldn't see me.

marstokyo — Tue, 25 Feb 2014 17:19:06 GMT

Went to a lab to get some routine blood work done, waiting, waiting, waiting for them to call my name after I signed in. Finally I go up, only to find it's not my insurance company's "preferred lab"-- so I drove down the road to the "preferred lab" (all this in sloshy snow coming down) only to find the waiting room jammed to the gills with people waiting. There was standing room only, too. So I signed in, then started to wait for them to call my name, just to get my information. Waited 20 mins for nothing, finally decided to can it. It probably would have been till the end of the day before they got to me. Screw it. It's nothing earth shattering that MUST be done ASAP.

So I drove to the Giant to get groceries. Which was an okay experience and they even bagged my groceries for me! Good thing, because when I got home I was greeted to a floor full of garbage that had been dragged out of the overturned garbage can in the kitchen-- everything was shredded into itty bits--chicken tray with its bloody cushioning, coffee grounds, pistachio shells, etc etc etc. And Lupé sitting there without a care on her face.

This is something she's started doing when we leave in the evening and so we've come to put the garbage can behind doors and shut off access to any other trash cans she can reach. It hasn't happened in the daytime til now. So I didn't put the can away. As I usually don't when I'm just running out to do errands. But I guess all that has to change now and I have to safeguard the whole house from Lupé before I go anywhere. Jeez. I don't know why she's started doing this. We've had her five years and she's never done this kind of thing before. I know she's probably bored, but still, I put the radio on for her. What a fucking mess it was.

So that's my lovely day so far.

Friday already

marstokyo — Fri, 31 Jan 2014 19:31:14 GMT

Tomorrow is the closing reception for the show of my coastlines at Hamilton Gallery. 2-4pm for which, I will be on hand. Supposed to be up in the 40º's which should be really nice after the weeks of bitter cold.

I finally got my external "Monsoon" speakers working on my computer. Turns out I was plugging the jack into the wrong outlet on the computer. DOH! Anyway, that's nice to be able to listen to music while at the computer. I feel like I accomplished something.

I went grocery shopping and thought I had lost my check card but it turned out I lost my store card instead. Of the two, it's far better to lose a store card than a check card. So I guess I won't bother worrying about that.

Went to water aerobics this morning. I wish it wasn't becoming so boring. The teacher isn't giving us enough variety. She repeats the same stroke alternating with another one over and over. Really lazy on her part. How much would it take to call out different strokes for a half hour in the deep end? She does the same thing in the shallow end too. Sigh...

Oh well, that's my Friday, such as it is.

Art-O-Mat

marstokyo — Tue, 14 Jan 2014 15:23:54 GMT

I'm working on more Art-O-Mat boxes but I'm stalled because my printer is out of ink and I'm waiting for the cartridges to come in the mail. What a bunch of work they are. I keep saying I've got to come up with another plan that will be less time consuming and easier to make. But then I don't. And the time comes around that they need more of them and so I'm stuck making the same laborious design. Ugh. But anyway, I've got the time, so I shouldn't complain. That's all I've got is time.

Workmen from the city came yesterday to start dicking around with the manhole cover at the end of our driveway. They said they were going to rip up the last four feet of our driveway sometime today and we wouldn't be able to go in or out. But they'd let us know so we could move our cars to the street. Great. So far they haven't come yet. I could be sleeping, but I got up early for this, just in case they came to the door at 8:00am.

Well that's all I've got from here. Scintillating, huh?

Burrrrrrrrrrr

marstokyo — Tue, 07 Jan 2014 18:19:19 GMT

This morning it was about 11º with a windchill of -1º, now, at 1pm it's up to 14º--but all this is only supposed to last one day. I wouldn't go out in it except that I have two Dr. appointments. Which forces me. Alas.
I was reading a little of my LJ from 2004-5 and was surprised at the number of comments and back and forth there was with my readers. That was before FB decimated LJ. I guess there are still a few hangers on like me. But I post so infrequently I can hardly count myself a regular.
There's little to say.
Nothing is happening in the studio.
I had a show of my work open last Friday at Hamilton Gallery on Harford Rd., Baltimore. The coastlines. I should revive them and continue in lieu of any other idea coming to me. It would beat just sitting around doing nothing. I wonder if I can do that. Pick it up and continue. Well, it's a thought.

Out of the Loop

marstokyo — Thu, 19 Dec 2013 19:37:26 GMT

Time continues to pass by unnoticed by me. I'm still sleeping (or pretending to) during the daytime, and at night. The piece in the studio didn't prompt more work. I went to the art supply store yesterday and used my son's Christmas gift from last year--a gift card. But I wonder if I'll use the goods I purchased or will it just be more stuff in storage?

I did go through my series of coastline paintings picking out what I will show at the Hamilton Arts Collective next month. The work is to be dropped off on Dec. 30th. I selected 15 pieces but I know that will be too much for the space. It's only a 25' wall, basically. The pieces are either 30" or 22" wide, with I think 12" or a little more between pieces-- so someone do the math for me. That's 300" total or ten 30" pieces edge to edge. Take out three for spacing and that's 7 pieces. I think they had room for one more in the window-- so I should figure about 8 pieces. Or at the least take 10 there just in case. So I need to glean 5 of the 15 pieces to stay behind.

I'm staying away from stores (except the onerous grocery store) so I haven't been too bombarded by Christmas music, but when people out and about say Happy Holidays, I say Merry Christmas back to them. Call me old fashioned. Hanukah is over, and Kwanza? well, I never did know about that one. So I'm being retro and saying Merry Christmas-- and without exception, people have reacted positively-- Like PSEW!!!! it's okay to say Merry Christmas. Even if I don't celebrate it myself. I grew up with it. It's in our culture. And there you have it. I'm sayin' it.

Gulf of Aden</a>

Two weeks till Christmas

marstokyo — Sat, 14 Dec 2013 19:07:20 GMT

It's snowing again. And at this time of year it's welcomed. Everything looks clean and white and ready for Christmas. I don't mind it at all. It's when it comes down in February and all the piles of snow are blackened with soot and road dirt that it's tiresome. Just a little while ago there were big flakes drifting down as if in a snow globe. Now the flakes are tiny and blowing horizontally.

I'm having a show in January at the Hamilton Arts Collective of the Coastline paintings. It's especially nice because I don't have to frame them. So I can get them out there without the expense of frames.

Argentina

Gingerbread skulls, etc...

marstokyo — Fri, 13 Dec 2013 21:50:38 GMT

I had lunch with my friend Liz today at Miss Shirley's. We talked about journals and journaling and I reminded myself of my commitment to post here more often. I see it's been since Tuesday that I've checked in. Yesterday I made sugar skull gingerbread cookies with stamp/cutters that Winnie gave me--see below

They turned out well. Liz wanted to hang hers on her tree. I could do that with one of mine, too.

Ben and his band, Bosley, played live on the Towson radio station WTMD- 89.7 I caught most of it as I was driving to get Liz. They sounded great.

I'm pretty boring today, not much of anything swimming around my head. Sorry.