There’s been so much in the news lately— the election, Mayor Adams getting indicted (mazel tov!) that you may have missed the newest development in my life, which is that I’ve joined a Facebook group for tourists coming to NYC. I don’t remember why I joined, since I live in NYC and don’t feel like I need any tips to navigate the city (which is obviously different from not needing any tips to navigate the city) but still, despite my aversion to self-improvement, I’m learning a lot.

For example, I learned that there is an app called Flush which lets you know the closest public restrooms locations. That may have been the only thing I learned from the group so hopefully it’s just a matter of time before “a lot” becomes synonymous with “only” just like “literally” now also means “figuratively”. It is unlikely that I will ever be able to let that one go.

Of course the same questions come up again and again in the New York tourist group. Is the subway safe at 9 pm? 9 am? 9:45 am or pm? Midnight? Which museum is the best? Can I “do” St. Patrick’s Cathedral, MOMA and Central Park in one day and have time to stroll the High Line and pop into the 9/11 Memorial? What is the best way to get from JFK to midtown? What is the best way to get from Newark to midtown? Do I have to avoid Times Square? Which steak place is iconic and also reasonably priced and “fun for kids”? I don’t know what “fun for kids” means in this context, but I hope that they are not expecting a petting zoo with the steaks-in-waiting. The responses range from super helpful to “google it”. Why I continue to read it, I don’t know. Probably in order to avoid the other news out there. Do with that last sentence what you will. I recommend moving on from it.

I almost never respond to anything in the Facebook group, preferring not to engage and keep my wisdom to myself. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t spend time composing posts in my mind, filled with advice.

And my number one tip at the moment (check back later for updates) is don’t forget about gravity. Because although I no longer subway daily, whenever I do, I see someone not holding on to the pole, or anything else affixed, thinking that the subway’s movements will not affect them and that they are somehow protected against the sudden stops and jolts and jerks, or maybe not thinking at all and they go flying around the car, bumping into fellow travelers, who are familiar with the laws of physics, apologizing, looking ashamed but then apparently assuming that this jolt/bump was a fluke and lightning doesn’t strike at the same location twice and continue to free stand/raw dog/gravity defy attempt the next time the subway starts.

I prefer to assume that these people are tourists because the idea of a regular subway rider not being able to figure this stuff out is too much for me to bear. No one’s core is a match for the subway. Perhaps it’s obvious why I don’t share these thoughts in the Facebook group. It’s a grave situation.

What I am:

Reading

Here One Moment by Liane Moriarty. Liane Moriarty has been a favorite for years, ever since I read What Alice Forgot. I also loved The Husband’s Secret and Big Little Lies. I did not like some of her other books that I am too much of a lady to mention, but Here One Moment is her best one yet or at least so good that I immediately made it my favorite. The premise is that a flight is delayed and one passenger, a woman of a certain age, gets up and goes from one passenger to another, predicting how old they will be when they die and the cause of death. It was fascinating, smart and (almost) tied up well at the end. I loved it even though I started it on a flight and I have a very strong policy about not reading any books set on planes while actually on a plane. I’m not into immersion experiences.

(Listening to) Podcast

Book Riot- half baked ideas. Fun episode, mostly not about books but an interesting take about rights to Harry Potter, Hunger Games and other mega sellers.

Watching

The Perfect Couple on Netflix. I hope that I’m not giving too much away when I mention that the couple is not really “perfect”. I enjoyed this one, but I generally love everything Nicole Kidman does. And also Bono’s daughter is in it and it seems like whenever I see her, I think “she’s great, let me look her up” and then I see that she’s Bono’s daughter. You’d think if I like her so much I’d remember her name, but as others have said when justifying the incomprehensible, I contain multitudes.

Buying

There was a time where “there are two kinds of people in this world-” was the beginning of many sentences online and if I can relapse to that time, there are two kinds of people in this world, those who love pens and savages.

I am in the former, aka “God’s favorite” category and after many, many years, and several pen subscriptions (hopefully “several” is a synonym for “one”) I now have a favorite. It’s the Zebra .5mm pen and I can write with it forever (choose your own synonym!) Highly recommend!